While was down, I posted this chapter on my tumblr, but since then I have actually added a few extra details to the chapter before officially submitting it on here. Nothing too huge. Just some details to make some parts make more sense in my mind.

Where to begin…

So here I am, back at the castle again as Mr. Regal's maid. His maid only… So much has happened between the two of us and now I'm starting over. I can stay professional and keep my distance, but I can't just forget about those moments we shared. Those moments of intimacy are forever burned into my mind. No amount of drinking or professional distance will make me forget.

The night out on the balcony where I first felt his embrace. His body was so warm and being wrapped between him and his robe made it easy for me to forget the cold of that night. His kiss on my cheek and his whisper in my ear… I didn't feel much like a servant. I felt like something much more precious, especially when he told me how he defended my honor against that bastard Livingston. A feeling that, up until then, was alien to me. "Ain't nobody going to give a shit about you, boy. You're nothin but cattle at this point. Save your tears." Some things people forget in life and other things stick with them until the end of days. I still remember those words well. The first words I woke up to as a boy when everything before that point was a haze. To this day I still don't remember my life before I was 10. A part of me wishes I did, but another part of me wonders if it's best that I didn't. It must not have been all that great if I wound up a slave.

When Mr. Regal pleased me in the cottage it only furthered my confusion as to where he and I stood with each other. There I was, like a whore, letting him touch me and suck me off. I'd be lying if I said I never wanted it. It felt great, but there was always the nagging feeling in the back of my mind asking me "is this right?" It definitely felt right for a time, but that was shattered when I saw the shame on Mr. Regal's face. My mission at this castle was originally to do this very thing. To bring his guard down. After a while, though, I began to prefer a more professional working relationship like how Mr. Regal originally thought I was here for. Was such a confusing time.

For the first time, after a while, things seemed to be more clear with where we stood with each other. At least at the end of the day when he would share my bed with me. I've never had a master who preferred to share my bed with me. The only time I ever shared a bed with previous masters was when it was in theirs and it was just for sex. Very rarely enjoyable. The moment they were finished it was back to the cage for the dog, so to speak. With William, in those moments, I felt like I was his. Not his servant. It's like for the first time I had the safety and security that I always dreamed about. Like I was loved. I have never really known what it was like to be loved, so I guess just about anything positive would have done it for me.

If nothing else seemed to confirm it, it was that time in the bath. We may have had sex, but it was different. No words were needed. His eyes seemed to speak volumes when I looked into them. They told me that this is a man who has spent many lonely years isolated. A man who desired someone special to fill the void. That perhaps I was the one. I don't know what he saw from mine, but we connected. Everything felt right. When we kissed there was no more doubt about anything. I may be inexperienced with these things, but if I were to ever discover what love felt like then that was the closest thing to it. But… apparently I was wrong...again…

I'm back to square one with William. I don't know what goes on through his mind, but I guess I shouldn't expect to experience any of those intimate things again. I'm starting to feel deja-vu in writing those words since I've written them before. However, I have a feeling that this time William means it. Will he even refrain from giving so much as a kiss on the cheek? Will he avoid any possible physical contact? I will miss those things, but at the same time I'm at least back where I feel I belong. I was able to tune out the world when I was dancing in the middle of all of those grimy people at that night club, but overall I hated being there. In growing up I wouldn't have minded the clubs so much, but after spending this time with William it seems I can no longer just be comfortable in those environments. Despite William being so upset with me the last time I saw him, thinking of him helped me tune out those disgusting people.

William still cares for me, that much is certain. It will be interesting to see where our stories go from this point on, but I will make the best of it. I no longer have anything to hide from him so I can only expect happier days for the both of us.

Thanks for reading!

I'm looking forward to the next chapter of 1,001 Nights. Go read it if you haven't already!