Second chapter up for tonight, don't think I'll be able to update this weekend, so I decided to post both chapters. So enjoy.
"You sure we should do this?" The guy asked as he stood over me.
"Yeah, cut that shit up." The second guy said as he pulled the back of my shirt up.
I winced at the pain of the knife slicing my back. It hurt all at once then subsided as a dull throb took over.
"Do it again." The second guy said.
I started screaming as the blade sliced through my back again.
"Bri." The voice woke me from my nightmare but I was still screaming."You're fine, it's a dream."
"It felt real." I pressed my face against Happy's chest and tried to catch my breath. "So real."
"I know." He rubbed my back lightly. "You're fine now, I'm with you. Not letting you go."
"I love you." I said against his chest.
"I love you too." He kissed my forehead. "You're going to get through this, those guys are gone, they can never hurt you or anyone else again."
"I know, but that won't keep the memories from haunting me." I cried.
"I know, but I'll be here to help you." He kissed my nose. "You wanna go out of town for a little vacation Bri?"
"Yes." I smiled at him. "Can we go to Ma's?"
"Yeah we can." He smiled. "Can I ask you something?"
"You just did." I giggled.
"So good to hear that." He squeezed my thighs. "They didn't rape you or anything right?"
"No."
"You're back is the worse they did?" He trailed his fingers over the healing cuts.
"Yeah babe. It hurt." I sighed. "I think I need therapy."
"You haven't done that in awhile."
"Yeah I know." I bit his chest.
"You and that biting." He laughed. "You watched too many fuckin' vampire shows and movies."
"I'll have you know Vampire Diaries was a book series first and I read the books before the show came on." I smiled.
"I only watch True Blood because I like the blonde bitch with the glowing hand." He rasped.
"Sookie." I laughed. "She has tiny titties."
"They're cute on her." He smiled. "You think you can sleep, or should I just turn on the TV?"
"Let's just lay here like this and talk. It's been a minute since we've done this." I bit his arm and he pinched my side.
"True. Last time we did you ended up giving me a black eye." He laughed.
"I apologized for that." I smacked his abs. "No more smiley faces?"
"Gotta update it. The guys for you don't count though." He frowned.
"I know. I want you to know first that my ties with the Sons are severed. My loyalty is only to you, Kozik and Juice. Tara is cool, I want to be her friend but fuck everyone else." I said.
"I'm glad, I want you away from the club, look at the shit its gotten you into, you don't need it."
"I'm going to heal and I want to send Juice a birthday present of some sort." I creased my brow. "A cabbage patch kid with a mowhawk and head tattoos."
"You're a dork."
"I know. Thanks." I whispered.
"For?"
"Looking for me, saving me, letting me kill that guy. I know you wanted to so thanks. Especially thank you for this. For laying with me and taking care of me. I love you for it all." I kissed him softly and smiled against his mouth.
"Ma raised me right."
"Yeah she really did." I chuckled.
#
Showering was quick and easy. A little painful to feel the soap and water on my back but I got through it. It was seeing myself in the mirror that made everything I went through a huge and sickening reality. I was alive, I was grateful for that. I was going to heal physically but I wasn't sure where I was going mentally.
"Fuck." I turned around and looked over my shoulder at the cuts crossing over my back. They were raised and an angry red. A trip to my doctor was needed, had to make sure I didn't have any infection from the knife that made the jagged cuts.
I slid to the ground and frowned at my reflection. The bruises from Gemma were bad but these new bruises were hideous. I looked less like myself and more like a monster. No amount of make up would hide them, even if it could I didn't even own the make up needed.
"Bri." His voice was soft. "You need help?"
"No, I'm fine." I stood up.
"You're crying." He said.
"I'm fine Kozik." I looked at him in the mirror.
"Happy wanted me to check in, he went out to give his Ma and Aunt money for bills and shit."
"Alright." I smiled weakly. "I just need to get dressed."
"That'd be smart." He smiled.
"Can you grab me sweats and a shirt?" I looked at him. "Please?"
"Yeah." He walked off into the closet and I quickly went to the dresser and pulled on panties.
"Thank you." I said. I grabbed the clothes from him and pulled them on.
"Welcome." He said. "This brings back memories."
I let out a low laugh. "Yeah, at least I'm coherent this time."
"I'm glad you've stayed sober." He smirked.
"Me too. Why didn't you tell me before that you were a recovering addict?"
"Didn't seem important." He shrugged. "You know now, does it change the way you see me?"
"Yeah, makes me see you as a stronger person." I smiled. "Explains the way you carry yourself around Juice."
"He's a pill monster." He laughed.
"Been that way since high school. Guess some things don't change." I shook my head.
"You doing OK?" He sat on the bed and stared at me.
"Honestly, no." I frowned. "My best friend keeps choosing her boyfriend over me. I want her here to watch movies and keep my mind off the memories."
"It's new love." He laughed. "Its just like that Brianna Banana. I'll watch dumb girly movies with you if it'll actually help."
"I want to run errands, I really want that puppy." I smiled. "Help me get her before Happy comes home?"
He jumped off the bed and was down the hall before I heard him yell yes. I found him standing by the truck, keys dangling from his fingers.
"Let's go, I need to feel normal and preoccupy my mind." I climbed into Ironhide.
"I like this truck." He started it up. "Nice feel to it."
"Yeah, powerful." I turned the radio on and the music filled the space.
"People are going to think I did that to your face Banana." He looked upset.
I pulled open the center console and rummaged through the contents looking for my largest pair of sunglasses and slipped them on. "Kinda better or no?"
"Its alright." He was still frowning.
"Ugh." I looked in the visors mirror. The bruising around my cheeks and mouth was terrible. "I look like Rocky."
"Have you even seen that movie? You're kinda young."
"Seen all of them actually old man." I smacked his arm. "I'm well cultured."
"I see. You really think this will help you take your mind off things for awhile?"
"Yeah I do. Well I'm hoping it will, I have to try. Every time I'm in silence I think about it , when I sleep it haunts me, I can't even look at myself without being triggered." I looked out the window. "I know its been like a day since I've been home but being there with those men, I felt like I was there a lifetime, it was the equivalent of being with my monster of a dead husband."
"Why'd you kill your husband anyways?" I felt his eyes on me.
"Ahh, he was abusive. More verbally than physically but it was still bad. I had to either take it until he died or take things into my own hands." I sighed. "I promised myself I would never let another man walk over me or try to muscle me into doing shit his way."
"That explains a whole lot about why you're such a bitch at times." He laughed.
"Yeah it does." I smiled. "Let's get me a puppy."
"Maybe two. One for you one for me and you can babysit mine when I'm gone." He said as he pulled into the parking lot of the pet store.
"Yeah, maybe. Depends on if you clear that with Hap." I unfastened my seatbelt and pushed the door open, hopping out I landed softly on my feet but my knees hurt.
"He's mean, he wouldn't let me." He sounded sad.
"We'll see when we get inside." I walked over to him and we made our way to the door and he pulled it open.
"Whoa!" He sounded like a toddler as his eyes trailed over all the puppies running around in fenced off areas. "So many puppies."
"How may I help you?" A girl asked me.
"I'm looking for a girl puppy, a German Shepherd if you have one maybe a Siberian husky?" I smiled.
"We actually have both, just follow me." She started off towards the left side of the store.
"H, come on." I waved at Kozik who was staring at the puppies at his ankles.
"Here we are." She pulled open the fence and let us in.
"Omg." I picked up the fluffy white, black, and grey puppy. "She's beautiful, I want her."
"She's well behaved." The girl said. "Very loyal, will follow you around."
"I'm sold." I smiled at the bundle of fluff. "I want her now."
"If I can see your I.D I'll get the paperwork started for you." She smiled.
"Here." I pulled my I.D out of my pocket and lifted my shades. "Excuse the bruises, I got in a fight with a crazy bitch over a guy." I lied.
"Been there." She laughed and walked out.
"H. Omg do you see her?" I turned around to face him and he was cradling the little German Shepherd puppy in his arms.
"Do you see her?" He smiled. "I'm getting her. I already named her Tosca."
"I named my puppy Tacoma." I laughed. "Tosca and Tacoma."
"Puppies in crime. Dun dun duhhhh." He laughed. "I haven't had a dog in forever. Since me and Tig were roommates."
"I didn't know you lived with him." I raised a brow.
"I'll tell you the story some other time." He set the puppy down and she started to whine so he picked her back up. "Daddy's girl already."
"She's going to be spoiled." I placed Tacoma down and she didn't move from my feet.
#
"I can't believe we got puppies." Kozik said from his place on the living room floor.
"I can." I smiled. "I cannot wait to show her off to Hap and his Ma and Aunt. They're going to freak."
"So much fur." He smiled. "This white carpet is going to be wrecked."
"Its alright, I'm moving soon anyways. Gated community. Dad's demand." I shrugged as I watched the two puppies play with each other.
SOASOASOA
Sitting in the doctor's office was not something I liked to do. I was here because Natalie asked me to tag along to her ultrasound and I agreed, I wanted to know the unborn child I was taking responsibility for was healthy, I also just wanted a picture to show off of her. We were convinced it was a girl, her name being Luna May.
"Miss Monroe." The nurse called from the door and we both stood up and walked over towards her. "Glad to see you again." She smiled.
"Good to see you, haven't seen you since our externship." Natalie smiled.
"Been forever." The nurse said.
"J, this is Rebecca." Natalie spoke. "We did nursing school together."
"Nice to meet you." I shook her hand as she led us into the room.
"Same." She closed the door.
Natalie sat on the table and leaned back. Her feet up in the metal stirrups as she got comfortable.
"You're four and a half months along." Rebecca said. "You found out when?"
"Ugh, a few weeks ago." Natalie shrugged. "It was life changing."
"I bet. Well I'll be doing the exam
We can try to find out the sex but if we can't today it'll have to wait until your six month check up." She turned off the lights and turned the machine on. Tucking a big blue paper towel into the waistband of Natalie's pants as she lifted her shirt. "This gel won't be cold, its warm."
"Alright." Natalie said. "Lube me up buttercup."
We all laughed and in a matter of seconds a heartbeat filled the room and I felt myself grow emotional.
"Oh emm gee." Natalie whispered. "She sounds strong J."
"Our Luna May." I smiled.
"You guys hoping for a girl?" Rebecca asked.
"Yeah, my best friend's old nanny said I was going to have a girl." Natalie laughed.
"Well, I'll tell you if she's right or not." She moved the device over Natalie's stomach and smiled. "The nanny was right, it's a healthy baby girl."
"Holy shit." I sat back in my chair. "I'm going to have a little girl!"
"So many tutus and glittery things." Natalie said, her voice was cracking. "A mini me!"
"Yes." I said. "A mini you."
"Here." Rebecca handed us pictures. "Congratulations. I'll leave you two alone."
"Thanks." We both said as we looked at the pictures. Natalie's phone went off and she pulled it from her bra.
"Look." She held the phone to my face. "Bri has a daughter too!"
I smiled at the picture of the puppy. It was the perfect dog for Bri. It matched the enormous amounts of fur she had around her house. "Send her a picture."
"Ok!" We pressed our faces together and smiled as we held up the sonogram picture. "All done."
A few seconds later the phone went off again. Bri congratulated us and used too many exclamation marks and emojis.
"At least I can start baby shopping." She smiled.
"Another Walmart trip?" I asked.
"Sure baby, anything you want." She kissed me. "Let's get me cleaned up and we can head out."
"Will you move in with me? Like if I got an actual house for us?"
"Yes I will." She wrapped her arms around me. "You sure you want this though?"
"I'm positive I want this. I want us and Luna." I kissed her again. "You're my old lady."
"Yeah, I am." She smiled at me.
#
"White or black?" Natalie asked as she stood between two cribs.
"Black." I said. "We can paint a pink reaper on it."
"Sounds good to me." She smiled and I smiles back. "This is fun. I want to do this at a different store."
"Not tonight right? Maybe later this weekend." I pleased with her. We had been in the store for the last two hours as she made her registry of baby items.
"The weekend is for you. It's your birthday weekend." She kissed my hands. "Birthday sex."
"It won't hurt the baby?"
"No, it won't." She smiled. "Relax a little babe."
"I will." I rubbed her belly. "I will."
"We can go now." She said. "I'm is craving pizza."
"Me too." I grabbed her hand and we walked back to customer service to return the price gun.
#
"This is good." Natalie said. She was sitting on the floor surrounded by pizza and garlic bread.
"I'm stuffed. How are you still eating?" I burped and laid out on the floor.
"I dunno." She dumped a glob of ranch on the slice of pizza in her hand. "Luna isn't full."
"She's going to be a fat baby." I mused. "With little rolls." I laughed.
"Fat babies are cute babies." She smiled as she dropped the half eaten slice of pizza into the box. "I hope she's chubby, but more importantly healthy.
"Yeah, we need her to be healthy. So we'll start feeding you veggies and fruits. No more eating a whole medium pizza in one sitting." I laughed at her.
"I was starving"! She smacked me with the pillow.
"How's Bri?" I sat up against the sofa.
"She's ok. I mean I've been spending more time with you then with her." She wrinkled her nose. "I feel bad."
"Then go over and hang out with her or call her and talk." I pushed her phone towards her.
"I'll call." She dialed Bri, the phone rang a couple of times.
"Hello." Bri's voice came over the speaker loud and clear.
"What's up?" Natalie asked.
"Nothin' just playing with Tosca and Tacoma. You?"
"Tosca?" She asked.
"Kozik got a puppy too. She's a fluffy German Shepherd."
"I was calling to check in on you and apologize for not staying with you." She sounded upset.
"Um, yeah I'm you know, bad but I'll survive. You not staying is whatever, didn't expect you to stay anyways."
"What's your damage Brianna?"
"My best friend choosing her boyfriend over me is the damage Natalie. Name one time that I chose Happy over you when you needed me."
"So you didn't, I'm pregnant and wanted to be with Juice." She sounded like she was going to cry.
"I'm cut up and bruised, I wanted to lay in bed with my best friend and watch movies. I could have used the distraction of you complaining about being pregnant."
"I'm sorry." She said.
"Yeah, Natalie. I'm sorry too." The phone call ended and the dial tone sounded before cutting off.
"Well now I feel so shitty." Natalie cried. Her mascara turning her tears black. "She hates me."
"She doesn't hate you, believe me. Takes more than fucking up twice to make her hate someone." I rubbed her legs and pulled her on my lap. "You two will get through this. Just buy her candy or somethin'."
SOASOASOA
I slid down the cold tiles of the shower. Letting the water rain over my legs as I cried. It was the only place I could cry in relative peace. I bawled until I heard knocking on the door.
"Go away Kozik!" I yelled, but the door opened and the glass door slid back. It was Happy.
"Talk to me." He pulled off his shirt and tugged off his jeans and boxers before stepping in and looking down at me with soft eyes.
"I don't know how to deal with this Happy." I watched him slide down the opposite wall and bend his knees to fit. "I feel like a part of me died in that place. I don't feel like my badass usual self."
"It's ok for you to cry and be sad." He pulled me closer to him. "You can be vulnerable, I'm here for you. Ain't nothing like that ever gonna happen to you again. You're safe, no more club business for you, they severed the line when they bailed on helping to look for you."
"I'm not sad, I'm scared. You heard those guys. I'm only safe because of the club. Like what if whoever finds out I'm not with them and actually comes after me. I've never been this scared." I cried into chest.
"You're still always connected. Me, Koz, and the dumbass Juan." He said.
"Juan?" I let out a small giggle.
"Yeah, that's what I call him when I need him to be serious and shit." He smirked. "It's ok to cry and be an actual girl. I won't judge you. Thugs cry too." He laughed.
"I'm a gangsta." I smiled. He made it hard for me to keep crying when he was being sweet and open.
"Oh, my bad gangsta." He kissed my lips softly. "You going to tell me why there's two puppies sleeping on Koz?"
"They're Tosca and Tacoma." I smiled. "Tosca is his. It was love at first sight."
"I fell for you the moment I laid eyes on you and I smacked into the damn wall." He shook his head.
"Ha ha! Seriously?"
"Yeah, I tried my best to keep you at arm's length but it failed. I'm happy you haven't made me regret letting you in." He stood up and helped me to my feet.
"Never will." I hugged him. "I love you."
"I love you too." He pinched my ass. "You want me to leave you alone?"
"No." I squeezed him tighter. "I think Natalie and I are on the outs."
"Because she's attached to the idiot's dick?"
"No, I'm not mad at them being a couple. I'm happy they're in love or whatever. I just am over people I care for choosing others over me. I wanted a girls night when I came home and she was here for like an hour before she left me for Juice. I spent the day with Kozik. Babe, Kozik. I love him to death but he's like not a girl." I laughed.
"So you gotta explain your feelings better to her and don't go 0-100 with your anger with her. She's as dumb as a doorknob, you gotta lay it out for her, tell her she's being a Juan and to knock it off or you'll have to walk away from her."
"You're talking more these days." I smiled.
"Only to you. Everyone else gets cavman noises, looks, or one word answers." He laughed.
"I like when you talk. It's so sexy. Especially your voice. I could listen to you rasp all damn day." I watched him blush and smile.
"Let's go to bed." He said.
"I'm down." I turned the water off. "Cuddles with the killer."
He grunted in response and I laughed.
"If we were a celebrity couple, how would we combine our names?" I asked as he wrapped me in his towel.
"I don't know baby girl."
"Briappy? Bappy? Happy B?" I asked.
"Hap-B." He laughed. "This conversation doesn't leave this room."
"Secrets safe with me." I climbed into bed and tossed him his towel.
"I swear you bring out a side of me I haven't seen since before I was intense." He toweled off and climbed over me and onto his side, he pulled open his nightstand drawer and placed his gun on top.
"You weren't always intense?" I settled in against him.
"Nope." He kissed my neck. "Didn't get this intense until second month of my freshmen year."
"Ok, so for fourteen years you were sweet?"
He nipped my neck. "I was intense but got more intense that second month."
"Why?" I sighed as he sucked hard on my neck.
"Saw this dude hittin' on this girl and I snapped and beat his face I'm and ended up getting taken off to juvie." He bit my ear. "Been intense ever since."
"Ahhh, you've been a rescuer for awhile. Sexy." I ran my fingers over his chest and abs, tracing the tattoos that decorates his perfect physique.
"Yeah." He said. "No more talking."
I nodded as his lips found mine. He kissed me soft then hard before pulling away to run a thumb over my bottom lip.
"Love you." I whispered.
"Love you too." He whispered back.