DJ Snowflake and Scrooge
December 5
10:29 pm
Silver bells silver bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling hear them ring
Soon it will be Christmas day
Santa make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down
Run, run Rudolph 'cause I'm reeling like a merry-go-round
Have a holly jolly Christmas
And in case you didn't hear
Oh, by golly!
Have a holly jolly Christmas this year!
"It's now five days into December and I've already been feeling the pressure to buy the perfect gifts for Christmas. Good thing I called Hummel's Bed and Breakfast for their two-for-one Double Down Special. That's double the down in every pillow in every room available at Hummel's. Let Kurt take care of all your head's needs." Britt paused at the last part of the advertisement. She squinted at the words and then looked up to Holly. She mouthed. Is this right? Holly nodded vigorously with a smirk on her face. "All your head's needs…" Brittany repeated the last part in wonderment. It was probably a good thing not too many people listened to the radio this late at night or who knows what kind of customers this Hummel guy would be expecting.
"In case you forgot or you're just tuning into the broadcast, my name is DJ Snowflake and I'm here taking your requests at all hours of the night to make sure you have the best holiday season possible. Feel free to call the line. The number is 1-800-SNOFLAKE. That's spelled S-N-O-F-L-A-K-E. Here's The Beach Boys singing about the greatest man of all time. You know him. You love him."
The light in the sound booth switched.
"You've got to be kidding me about these radio spots for that Hummel's place, Holly."
"I don't know what to tell you, Britt, they wanted to run the ad at night. At the moment, they are the ones single handedly paying your check."
"You could put me back on the morning show."
Holly chuckled. "I'm never making that mistake again, hun. You know how many complaints I got from people about how chipper Little Miss Sunshine was in the morning? I think we're the only morning show in the United States that was too awake in the morning."
"I just really like saying good morning to everyone…" Brittany pouted.
"I know you do, but since there's almost no one listening at night, you can be as loud and wake up as many people as you want." Holly smiled apologetically. "Sorry, Snowflake, you're staying on night duty."
The light flicked back on. Brittany made direct eye with Holly. "This next song goes out to all my morning people who are sitting in quiet houses or driving in quiet cars. Send me your requests now to get your song played."
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
"See? I can be totally chill for the morning show."
Holly rolled her eyes at Brittany's song selection. "I already apologized, Brittany. There isn't much else I can do."
"It's fine, Holls. I just wish there was more interaction." Brittany kicked her feet out and spun around on her chair in a circle. "It's been five days since we started doing this and I've gotten zero requests. Not one person has called in. Are you sure anyone's even listening?"
"We know the Hummel's are because they called to confirm they wanted to run the Christmas Night Show up until Christmas Eve."
"Seriously? Have they gotten any business from these ads?" She lifted the cue cards in her hand to remind Holly of how Mr. Hummel was offering to take care of heads.
"Brittany, when life gives you lemons, you trade those lemons to someone to take advantage of the barter system and you keep trading until you find something you can sell for cash! You don't ask questions. He sent the money and I said thank you, Mr. Hummel, we can't wait to visit your Bed and Breakfast as soon as we can!"
"Cool! He's setting us up at the B&B?"
Holly didn't answer Brittany. She stared at the light blinking on her control panel. For a moment, she forgot what that light meant. It had been awhile since it had flickered to life. "Brittany! I think we've got a caller! Want me to screen'em?"
Brittany glanced to the counter and waved Holly off. "No! Patch them through! This will be my first request!"
"Yeah just make sure you don't say that on the air. I don't want the Hummel's to hear that and rethink their sponsorship."
Holly hit a few buttons and then gave Brittany three fingers in the air. Perfectly in time, her fingers dropped with the song. On the final second, she pointed to Brittany. The red light flashed in the sound booth and Brittany instantly transformed.
"Listener! You're on WMHS 97.3 with DJ Snowflake. Who am I talking to?"
"It doesn't matter who I am, but I'm calling about the requests."
At first, Brittany had been taken aback by the abrasive way the woman on the other side of the line dismissed her good natured inquiry. But at the mention of a request, Brittany easily overlooked the slight. "Great! It's our first request of the night! What can DJ Snowflake play for you on this long cold December night?"
"Stop playing Christmas songs."
"Right I'll play that nex-" The word caught in Brittany's throat. Stop playing Christmas music? What? "I'm sorry but you want me to do what?"
"It's easy. I just want to hear one song that doesn't have reindeer or elves or talk about how big Santa Claus is. So seriously play anything except Christmas songs."
Brittany stuttered. Rare were the times when she had nothing to say. That was one of the reasons she had proven to be such a good radio personality. She always had a thousand things on her mind and never lacked for conversation starters and points. But not play Christmas songs? It didn't make sense. Britt scrambled for an appropriate response.
"Did you hear me? Play the chicken dance song for all I care, but no more Christmas."
"I-um-"
Holly was shaking her head and giving her the cut off signal.
"You said your listeners could request anything. Well, I am requesting anything that isn't Christmas."
Britt floundered. Holly's hand was slicing the air in front of her throat and growing more violent by the second. Brittany could easily read the words Cut Her Off behind the glass. Panicked, DJ Snowflake blurted the first thing that came to mind. "Oh! Another caller on the line!"
The call dropped as Britt hung up on the woman. She flipped on Here Comes Santa Claus for the listeners and guiltily glanced to Holly. Instead of reprimanding her, Holly sported a smirk of amusement. "Smooth. Real smooth, DJ Snowflake."
The blonde flushed in embarrassment. "I panicked."
"Um." Holly nodded vigorously. "Yeah you did. I've never seen you rattled like that."
"I don't know what happened! Who doesn't want to hear Christmas music in December? Just tell me you have another caller so I'm not on the naughty list for lying."
"Britt, that was our first caller –" Brittany's hopeful eyes didn't diminish. Holly emphasized. "- ever. Do you really think I've got another one?"
"Jingle Bells!" Britt mildly cursed. "I messed that one up didn't I?"
"Hun, we're gonna be lucky if someone accidentally dials the wrong number for the pizza shop and calls us."
"That's what I thought."