Ramona and Howie

by Fahiru

It was not his fault if she exaggerated. It was not his fault if she was not having fun. If the stilts broke, if Willa Jean threw a fit, if a guest was insulted, if Beezus cried for a week; it was not his fault. Because there was always Ramona, and Ramona did everything.

3. The Non-Existent Future

"What're you gonna do when you grow up?"

He was a little mad. They hadn't finished singing all the way through ninety-nine bottles of beer, and here she disrupted progress with an unrelated question.

"C'mon! Watcha gonna be?"

He started singing again, trying to turn and glare at her as he did, but the twine in his hand snapped and he fell down instead. She got off her own stilts and waited as he re-looped the string through his coffee can.

"A guy who fixes stuff, I guess."

"Like at the auto-shops? Like in those commercials?"

He thought for a moment before he solemnly shook his head. "No, I'm gonna be like my dad."

She tilted her head to the side. "What does he fix?"

"Everything. Not just light-bulbs and toys, but he fixes the table and sink and roof too." He was getting excited.

"Will you wear coveralls?"

He went on, not even hearing her question. "And especially, I'll be one of those guys who's always out underneath the car when you pass their house. And if you listen carefully, you could hear me humming old jingles as I fix the engine."

"Isn't that just being a dad?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Is it?"

She nodded. "Because that's what dads do. I think it's part of their job. And I think moms are their bosses. Moms pay them in cookies and kisses."

"Why kisses?"

"Maybe that's what he gets instead of cookies if he does a bad job. Do you want to get paid in cookies and kisses?"

"I don't know, I didn't think about being a dad..."

"Don't worry, Howie. You'll be a good dad."

"Well, sure, but...how do I get to be a dad?"

She got back up on her stilts. "I'm pretty sure you're born a dad. It's just something that happens with grown ups, so it's got nothing to do with us."

"But you said when we grow up-"

"How-ie, that's just something you ask for fun. That's something that'll never happen to us."

They started clumping along again, singing at the top of their lungs. But he was really letting her do most of the singing, because he was still thinking about what she said. That's right, he smiled, that never happens to us.