Lost in the Dark

By E.M. Megs

Chapter 32 - Stricken

There was an unusual summer windstorm the night that they left Pait for Nari. It rattled their carriage and had Haruhi sitting on the edge of her seat, gripping it with her eyes squeezed shut as tightly as she possibly could. Kyoya did the only thing he could and tugged her close to him by the shoulders, scowling out the window. Finally, they came to a stop that definitely wasn't the Narian palace.

The carriage driver opened the door, struggling to stay upright in the gusts. "We can't get the horses to go any farther, Your Highness! We have to take shelter! The storm's too strong!"

Kyoya gave a sharp nod and promptly scooped up a shivering Haruhi to carry her into the former Moradian inn that they'd stopped at. Only when inside did Haruhi uncover her ears and relax. The Narian Prince set her down and dealt with the innkeeper while she looked around.

Sounds felt muted somehow after exposure to the roaring wind so she didn't even hear Kyoya angrily being forced to bargain away double the money needed to pay for a night. When he rejoined her, he was muttering under his breath about the injustice of it all. "Just because I'm a Narian Prince…"

"It's alright," she murmured, taking his offered arm as they mounted the stairs, "You have the money anyway."

"It's not about the money. It's about the inequality of it." He stopped on the stairs and glanced at her. "We're fighting for equality for all with our marriage and yet…"

"No one knows about that yet," she reminded him quietly, squeezing his arm gently. Kyoya gazed at her for a moment, noting the weariness that seemed to cling to her features. He frowned slightly as she nodded back up the stairs. He trudged upward slowly, leading the way to their bedroom for the night.

"Are you feeling well, Haruhi?" he asked as she crawled onto the bed and he closed the door. She shrugged, her eyes already drifting closed. Branches of a nearby tree scraped against the side of the inn, making her cringe. "Is it the storm?"

"I'm just tired," she insisted softly. "You can relate, I imagine. Between dealing with the twins, Tamaki, your sister, and my father all week it's amazing one of us didn't go crazy." He would not be put off though and strode forward, sat next to her, and pressed the back of his hand against her forehead. She sighed.

"You're warm," he accused.

"I'm fine."

"You have a fever, Haruhi."

"I'm fine. The last time I had an illness-related fever I was 6-years-old and my magic chased it off within an hour."

"How long exactly have you known you were ill?"

She shrugged again. "I've been a bit more tired than normal the last few days. Didn't think anything of it though. Having magic as persistent as mine tends to chase off most serious illnesses, it does occasionally have the feverish side effects though, as you'll recall from the Exodus Festival."

"You should have told me."

"There wasn't anything you could do."

"I have medical knowledge, Haruhi. I could have gotten you some kind of medicine."

"Kyoya, I'm not going to die or something. It's just a fever…" She took his hand, frowning at him. "I'll be perfectly healthy in a day or two. I promise."

He shifted his gaze away from her and nodded, switching topics easily. "Father asked Fuyumi to assist you in making plans for the engagement party."

"Did he? That's… interesting. Is he actually going to announce it?"

"Yes. In two weeks, I believe."

"Right after the fall solstice then." Kyoya nodded and she sighed. "Alright, honestly. Can we just go to sleep? The bloody storm's got me on edge as it is and I'm actually quite exhausted."

He looked at her for a bit before nodding slowly and leaving for the bathroom to prepare himself for bed. When he reemerged, she had fallen asleep in her dress. He very nearly smiled and stretched out beside her.

~o~

She was not better in the morning. If anything, she was sicker. Kyoya watched her sleep well into the afternoon the next day, shaking his head in irritation. When she finally opened her eyes and found him reading quietly beside her she mumbled, "What time is it?"

"About 3."

She sat up. "Why didn't you wake me? We need to leave." Then she coughed a bit and slouched back against the pillows.

"You needed the rest. Obviously this isn't just a fever." He lowered his voice when he noticed her flinch at the volume. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "I've been better, not going to complain about it though. I can still travel. Honestly. Sitting in a carriage is not that tasking. I'll probably sleep the entire time." He shook his head and felt her forehead. "I'm not a child, you know."

"I know," he replied softly, scowling at her feverishness. "If anything happens to you though, I will feel responsible. I promised your father I'd do my best to keep you safe."

"You can't keep me in a bubble or something though. Everyone gets sick."

"Not witches."

She scowled at him. "Even witches get sick sometimes."

"For an hour." Haruhi sighed and hunkered down in the bed again, conceding to his stubbornness as she didn't have the energy to argue with him. "Could I interest you with some lunch?" he murmured. She shrugged. "You'll eat if I get it for you, right?" A nod. He pursed his lips and pulled himself out of bed, kissing her forehead on his way. She watched him leave through half-closed eyes, letting out a shuddering breath as soon as he was gone.

She felt so much worse than she was saying. To do the little moving that she had during their conversation had taken up all her energy. The last thing she wanted was to eat since she already felt like she was going to upchuck the little that was left in her stomach. Her head felt like it was going to explode. Just about every part of her ached with fever.

And there was absolutely no way she was going to tell Kyoya because all he would do was make himself sick trying to care for her. Besides, she was sure that if he tried using magic on her it would only make her worse. He was right, witches didn't get sick for this long because their magic nuked the virus before it spread. Her headache was probably caused completely by the fact that her magic was automatically working overtime to overcome whatever she'd caught and was failing at that.

It was frightening more because of the fact that she didn't know why her magic was making her worse than that it actually wasn't working. She was incredibly sick and she had absolutely no idea how to fix it or how she was going to keep this up.

Her stomach lurched and just like that she was able to dart to the bathroom. Of course, Kyoya managed to return just when she was sitting on the floor, finished gagging and feeling miserable. "Just a fever?" he mocked softly as he strode in to help her back to bed.

"Shut up," she mumbled, coughing. Her lungs felt like they were on fire. She didn't have the energy to fake it anymore, as much as she wanted to. "My magic isn't working…" Haruhi looked up at him as he laid her down again. "I don't think any magic is going to work. If anything, it's just making it worse."

"And you can't just turn it off," Kyoya concluded, swearing a bit. "You need medicine. Which will be easier to get once we're home."

She nodded weakly and attempted to relax. She succeeded only in groaning and shifting around. "I feel horrible, honestly. It's like I'm dying."

"You aren't."

"I didn't say I was. I said it was like I am."

"You aren't going to die, Haruhi…" He got quieter, closing his eyes briefly. "You can't."

"I won't."

But the way that she looked at him, exhausted through half-lidded eyes, made him swallow hard and nod his head if only to fake that he was okay. "We'll leave in the morning if you think you can travel."

"Sitting in a carriage sleeping isn't any different than laying here and sleeping," she replied hoarsely, her shoulders rising and falling once weakly. She tried to smile but she couldn't. Kyoya did his best to smile back and also failed, taking hold of the bowl that he'd brought up with him.

"You should eat something," he murmured, "Even if I have to spoon feed it to you."

Haruhi's reply was a groan. "Kyoya I just emptied my stomach. I don't feel like putting anything back in it."

"You need something in your system, Haruhi. Liquids at least." She shook her head but he just smirked and forced a spoonful of soup into her mouth. She scowled at him. "Tell me all your symptoms."

"Headache, nausea, fever, cough, congestion. It's like I'm getting hit with every virus that missed me before." And then it hit her. The timing of the illness fit perfectly. Everything fit. She didn't understand why she hadn't noticed before. She shut her eyes quickly and groaned. "Dammit." She knew what this was. She knew why her magic wasn't affecting it.

"What?" He seemed slightly alarmed but covered it quickly as her eyes opened again.

"I know what this is." He raised a single eyebrow in question. "It's my curse, Kyoya."

"What are you talking about? Your curse says nothing about illness. It has to do with love and yo-"

"If I fall in love, I die. It doesn't specify how I do or how quickly. It's the curse. That's why my magic isn't working. My guess is that because no one's in love with me it's not moving as quickly as it would if I had to kill someone first." She could have laughed. Tamaki had said that it wouldn't kill anyone if she fell in love. What bull. "I'm going to die. Not today maybe not any time soon. It's giving me the chance to be loved in return first."

Kyoya hadn't taken his eyes off her once, his mind racing to figure out every meaning to her words. "But…" He stopped because he couldn't say it. He couldn't possibly ask her.

"It's the sickest thing you've ever heard of isn't it? Killing someone for falling in love slowly and painfully but allowing them the chance to be loved by someone they'll have to kill. Cruelest thing imaginable. Then again, you know my grandmother." And that also accounted for the pain in her chest. Well, the part of it that wasn't her lungs being so congested that she could hardly breathe.

He was still trying to wrap his head around what she had indirectly told him. She seemed to read his mind because her next words were in the form of a scoff, "Of course it's you. Who else? I was in danger the moment I met you." She blinked back the tears that had begun to form and shook her head in disbelief at herself. "We're going to need some serious medicine to combat this crap."

"We have it at the castle," he said, finally finding his voice.

She nodded and took his hand, squeezing it as tightly as she could. "Kyoya, I think you know what's going to happen to me, don't you?" The single nod was all she needed. "Tell me."

He licked his lips and detached himself from the situation before listing it. "If you're right, then you aren't going to get better. Your magic is going to put you in a state of constant exhaustion and you probably won't be able to perform any spells. You'll probably vomit often. Cough even more. Blood will begin to appear in your urine, your coughs, and eventually your vomit. The headache won't go away and if it does it will only be for a brief time period. The medicine will help all that but not make it go away completely. And one by one your organs will begin to fail until, finally, your heart does but by then you'll be in so much pain that you'll be glad."

He accepted it so easily yet looked so angry at the same time. "I don't regret it," she told him plainly. "Even if it kills me, I don't regret it. I could never regret meeting you."

Kyoya turned away from her, pushing the soup into her hands. "We're leaving at the dawn. Finish your soup and get some rest." He left her to it and Haruhi couldn't help but feel as though she was at fault for something.

~o~

The weeks preceding Kyoya and Haruhi's engagement party were filled with lots of coughing and vomiting. Haruhi spent most of her time in bed until Fuyumi came to help her prepare. And even then she always turned in early. Kyoya would return from his office to find her curled up fast asleep already. He called it a good day when she'd only vomited once.

Fuyumi's first night in the castle was the worst, mostly because she wanted to do so much with his fiance but Haruhi just didn't have the strength. "We've only just finished dinner. You're going to bed already?" When the younger woman just nodded weakly, his sister glanced at him as he excused himself as well in order to make sure she got to bed alright. He wasn't at all surprised when Fuyumi later confronted him in the hall about it. "She's sick isn't she?"

"Yes."

"When did it happen and how bad is it?"

Kyoya stared at her for the longest time and then closed his eyes. "Since the others left Pait."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Yuiichi only though I suspect Akito and Father have some idea of what's going on. She's requested not to tell her father or Tamaki."

Fuyumi was smart enough to read between the lines. "You're still going to marry her?"

"Of course."

She smiled sadly and murmured, "Kyoya, you… remind me of mom."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged. "You're a good man. She'd be proud. I know I am."

The pregnant Ohtori began to walk away, a smile still on her face when Kyoya called, "Fuyumi, she's dying." He paused and licked his lips as she turned back. "Slowly, but she's dying."

Her sad smile returned, touching her eyes a bit. There weren't words to reply to something like that other than the complete truth. "Yeah… And it's going to hurt like hell. For you and her. But you'll make it through."

Then came the morning the day of the party. Fuyumi came knocking only minutes after he had gotten up. He sighed as he opened the door. Haruhi was still asleep. Before she would have been up two hours ago at least. The contrast in situations hurt more than he liked to think about. "You're both still sleeping?" his sister asked brightly.

Kyoya slumped slightly against the doorframe and rubbed his glass-less eyes. "We… Kind of had a rough night," he murmured quietly. Haruhi shifted slightly and groaned behind him. He glanced back warily. "She needs her rest, Fuyumi. Especially if she's going to be up until god-only-knows-when tonight. When is the absolute latest you have to have her in order to get ready?"

She bit her lip. "Three," she finally stated.

"What on earth could you need to do that takes three hours?"

"Alright. I can handle four as long as she takes a nice long relaxing bath beforehand."

He still didn't understand what took two hours but he threw his hands in the air and nodded, promising quietly that she would bathe before being handed off to her. He closed the door and turned back to the bed to find Haruhi looking at him sleepily. He tried to smile. "Morning."

"If you're going to fake so horribly, then don't fake at all," she muttered grumpily, turning over and promptly going back to sleep. He chuckled lowly and carefully slid back into bed, folding his arms around her. When her fingers curled around his he smiled and brushed the hair back from her face. "You didn't have to send her away," Haruhi mumbled.

"You need your rest."

"I'm not the only one apparently."

"Haruhi, at this point you getting all the rest you need is all I really care about."

"You hardly slept, Kyoya."

"But you did and that's what matters."

"Kyo-"

"Haruhi, I can deal with a bit of exhaustion. You on the other hand are going to be exhausted no matter what you do and it could kill you. Stop fighting me and rest."

"Only if you do as well."

"Very well." He sighed. He had hoped to finish the first draft of the Kiran-Narian-Moradian treaty this morning. Her fingers squeezed his tightly and seconds later he felt her lips against his. "I wish you wouldn't be so stubborn when I'm merely looking at your best interests."

"You forget that I'm also looking at yours." She smiled, placing a hand on his cheek. "You worry far too much even though you're reluctant to show it. I will be fine as long as my grandmother doesn't appear unexpectedly. I can at least fake health reasonably well. Sleep." He conceded with a small grumble.

"Don't forget your medicine."

"How could I with you reminding me every other minute?" He snorted in reply and she managed a small smile, propping herself up on one elbow to look him in the face. He drifted off before long, giving her the opportunity to escape. Kyoya would hate that she wasn't sleeping but all she'd been doing for the last week was sleep. Besides, it wasn't like she was planning on crossing the continent, just the castle.

Haruhi found Charmaine in her regular quarters with her brother, a 32-year-old Narian with a sturdy build and dirty blonde hair. "Haruhi," Maine greeted her with a grin. "Have you met my brother, Valence?"

"I haven't had the pleasure," Haruhi murmured, curtsying. Then she realized that Maine was staring at her curiously.

"Are you feeling alright, love?" she asked, "You're looking a bit peakish."

"Don't be rude, Maine."

"Shut your pie hole, Val."

Haruhi took a deep breath. So perhaps Kyoya was right about her needing more rest. She looked down and closed her eyes for a split second as she saw spots. "I'm fine." When neither sibling said anything she conceded quietly, "He's going to need you. Soon."

"You mean for preparations?"

"No- Well, yes. But that's not what I meant." Haruhi glanced at Valence then back at Charmaine. The elder Hedgewood seemed to get the picture but that didn't stop him from shoving Maine a bit and rolling his eyes on the way out. Once she was sure he was gone she clarified, "Maine, I think I'm dying. And he knows but I don't think he quite realizes just how little time I have left."

Maine scowled. "How do you know?"

"I'm sick. My organs are slowly failing."

"Why?"

"I fell in love with him." Her lower lip trembled. "Try as I might, I fell in love with him anyway. But that really isn't much of a surprise is it?" Maine said nothing, just stared at her in quiet contemplation.

"Why are you telling me this?" she finally murmured.

"Because I want to make sure that someone is here for him. And because… I needed to talk to someone who won't constantly worry about me." She ran a hand through her hair and sighed softly. "And… I'm not even sure how long exactly. I could die before the wedding. He could fall for me and I'd have to kill him and then I'd die off myself. There are so many ways this could go wrong and I don't want him hurt. I don't want him to end up getting hurt because I die. I don't want to make him a widower. Not like his brothers. But no matter how much he forbids me from dying until after the wedding - or at all for that matter - it is still going to happen; whether it's next week or next year, I am going to die and leave him."

"Are you going to call off the engagement?"

"Of course not."

"Then why are you worrying, Haruhi? If it's inevitable then why are you worrying? Just relax and enjoy your time with him while you can." Maine rolled her eyes and started pushing her back toward the door. "Now go back to your room and relax."

"But-"

"You think too much, Haruhi."

And then the door snapped shut behind her and she was standing in the hall alone and exhausted. Slowly, she returned to their room, opening the door carefully so she wouldn't wake Kyoya. She walked to the bed and sat down, gazing at the sleeping prince for several minutes before closing her eyes.

Sometimes she really wished that she lived in a fairytale with a guaranteed happy ending.

~o~

A/N: Okay. I know it's been three and a half months. I KNOW OKAY? I'M SORRY. You should expect hiatuses while I'm working on a quarter at school though. Should have mentioned that. My only other excuse is Netflix. HALP. NETFLIX HAS OVERTAKEN MY WRITING LIFE. HAAAAALP.

Really, some of this I'm just making up as I go along… Though this might be a bit too far. Especially considering how many times I've thought I was dying. And I mean like… Dying at a faster than normal rate.

Kudos to: Nessie-san, Cactus2008, XXLoKLoverXX, Magpie09, StrawberryGlazed, Alethotaku, isara-love, mtnikolle, Vicky. keyworth, The Egoist's Girlfriend, SETxMExFREE (screaming because I just realized that you're reading this and Emeritus is one of my favorite stories), daisy0000000, and Koharu Veddette!