DJ Snowflake and Scrooge
December 11
10:37 pm
We'll cozy up together by the fireside
And just before we close our eyes
Wish upon a star it snows again tonight
"We still have a few days, Holls. Just let me do the Annual Tree Lighting. You won't regret it. It's going to be nothing like the morning show."
Brittany queued the next song to one she hadn't played very often this season. She had a habit of changing songs last minute and fiddling with the computer generated playlist. Holly had long since gotten used to Brittany's habits. She liked flexibility with her song choices.
Uh, Alvin, you were a little flat
So, watch it, Alvin…Alvin?...ALVIN!
We can hardly stand the wait,
Please Christmas don't be late.
"I don't know what's going on for the lighting ceremony. And I'm only keeping you on the night show. I don't need Sue to round up the town council again to make another ordinance against you. So far no one has called in to complain. Let's not push it."
Brittany resolutely ignored everything Holly said about the ordinance. Her stint as Miss Sunshine in the morning had nothing to do with playing Christmas music at a tree lighting.
"Hello! Annual – Tree – Lighting –" Brittany stressed every word. "It's going to have to take place at night."
"I don't even know if we're going to have enough money to pay for the sound crew, the lighting, the booth, and you to be there. WMHS 97.3 might not be at the tree lighting at all this year."
"What?! Not be there? We've been there-" Brittany glanced down at her dashboard. The red light blinking indicated there was a caller on the line. She didn't pick up right away. They still had to finish the last song in the block. "-we've been there every year since forever. It's tradition."
"Sorry, hun." Holly shrugged. "Not all traditions last forever. If you get buzz going about the radio station, you might drum up some last minute sponsors somewhere and raise some money."
Brittany wanted to insist they find the some more sponsors somewhere – anywhere. They had done work before with the hardware store and the pharmacy on Main Street. The light on her dashboard continued to blink. The counter for the song diminished.
As he flew over the countryside
He was still listening
When from a little church below
He heard a voice begin to sing
As the last of the song played, Brittany readjusted her headset and picked up her notecards for the night. "That was the Trans-Siberian Orchestra and their Christmas Eve/Sarajevo. Don't forget to Hummel's Bed and Breakfast. Here to serve your heart's desire even in the heart of winter. It looks like we have a caller just waiting to request the next song!" Brittany pressed the button to take the call. "Listener, you are on the air with DJ Snowflake! What song can I play for you next? Or maybe you have an answer for my question about fruitcake. Is there fruit in the cake? Why? Wouldn't it be better to just have cake?"
"Snowflake."
Without thinking, Brittany exclaimed. "Scrooge!"
Brittany knew the woman's voice. Her eyes brightened with excitement and she flashed Holly the toothiest smile. Sure she had a few callers and requests since Scrooge had given her listeners the correct phone number to call in, but no one had been as entertaining as Scrooge. Without thinking, Brittany spun around in her chair. "What can I do for you?"
"I know you're not gonna stop the Christmas songs. I get it. Fine. I do have one request though. Don't play The Chipmunk Song again. Ever."
Brittany heard only a few select words. In fact, they were the most important words: song, Christmas, and request.
"Ladies and gentlemen! We have our first song request from Scrooge! Oh. My. God. I've been waiting to use this!" Brittany hit one of the many buttons on her dashboard. The sound of obnoxious applause erupted through the broadcast. "It almost feels like Christmas morning!"
"Snowflake…" The voice on the other line warned.
"Angels are singing!"
"Snowflake."
"Frosty's dancing and the elves are jumping!"
"SNOWFLAKE!"
The celebratory noises and soundtrack shut off abruptly. Silence filled the air waves.
Softly, the radio personality answered. "Yes, Scrooge?"
Holly shot Brittany a look through the glass. Her eyebrows arched. Perhaps the response was too familiar, too intimate, but she didn't throw Brittany a signal to cut off the feed. Whatever had been in Brittany's voice had made her boss curious to see this continue. It was a much different dynamic from the previous nights. For the moment, she rolled her finger in the air to signal Brittany to go on.
Brittany was surprised. She had expected Holly to cut the call short. It seemed unlikely that Holly would have wanted her to keep talking to Scrooge, but Brittany didn't question the directive. She didn't want to lose whatever piqued Holly's curiosity, so she continued in the same tone of voice. "How can I help you?"
"Snowflake, don't play The Chipmunk Song ever again."
"Why? It's a holiday classic. It's nostalgic, full of great lyrics, and there's nothing that says Christmas more than singing animals! I just think you're confused. I can play it again!"
"It's possibly the worst Christmas song of all time and that's counting Baby, It's Cold Outside."
"Fine, no Baby, It's Cold Outside. It is a little high on the creep factor, so I won't play that one. Anyway, Alvin's so funny, especially when he's getting yelled at. He's like the animal version of Dennis the Menace or Kevin from Home Alone. I will definitely play The Chipmunk Song again."
"No! Oh my god, no, please for the sake of my sanity, could you please never play The Chipmunk Song again?"
"You'll have to forgive me, Scrooge, it's just I'm not used to you using the word please. It doesn't seem like it would be in your vocabulary." Brittany knew she was pushing the woman's buttons. She could feel Scrooge's gamut of emotions from irritation to impatience to chagrin and finally to resignation that Brittany had effectively called her out.
Her tone was markedly supplicant and sweet. "Snowflake…"
Brittany waited patiently and glanced over to Holly. They both could hear the woman's teeth grinding through the call.
"I am - begging- you. Please don't play The Chipmunk Song."
Brittany flushed at the word begging and broke all eye contact with Holly. She took a quick breath and glanced down at her control panel. They had been talking for over a minute now. Unfortunately, that was the only information it told her. The counter did little to reveal anything about Scrooge or why she had just begged Brittany not to play The Chipmunk Song anymore.
Brittany almost felt bad for teasing her so much. Maybe The Chipmunk Song reminded her of an ex-boyfriend or a giftless Christmas or maybe a bad experience with chipmunks. Maybe that was why Scrooge was out here – in the middle of nowhere. She was just trying to escape the pain of poorly voice acted cartoons. There could be a million reasons why Scrooge didn't want to hear The Chipmunk Song. It wasn't the first time Brittany wondered about who her mystery caller was or what she was doing in town or why she didn't want to share her name or why she continued to call the show when it was clear that she didn't enjoy Christmas songs as much as Brittany did.
What did Scrooge even look like?
Maybe she had a top hat and a monocle.
Or that was Scrooge McDuck. It was hard to keep track of all the Scrooges, but still…close enough. This wasn't the first time Brittany had thought about Scrooge's personal life, but it was the first time she thought about a woman dressed as a duck. Holly waved her arms and flapped in the air trying to get Brittany's attention. Her boss was debating if she should cut Scrooge off the line again and it didn't help that Brittany had just turned into a space cadet.
Holly reached for the button.
No!
Brittany made eye contact with Holly and violently shook her head. Brittany quickly grasped for a way back into the conversation. But the only words she could remember Scrooge saying were -
I'm begging -
Without thinking, Brittany said the first thing that came to mind. "It's been awhile since a woman's begged me for something."
Brittany didn't realize what she said until she saw Holly jerk forward. Her boss's eyes bulged.
Brittany lifted her hands and shot Holly a very unconvincing smile as an apology. She frantically mouthed. What? And hoped that she wouldn't be in too much trouble.
Holly waved her hands frantically in the air, signaling that Brittany needed to keep talking. Even if they only had one listener, there still couldn't be any awkward pauses. That made for bad radio.
"Keep talking!" Holly whispered into Brittany's headset.
Before Holly could disconnect Scrooge or Brittany could think of something to fill in the silence, the phone line cut back into the feed.
"Oh so you're used to women begging you for things?"
"Jealous?" Brittany smirked into the microphone and completely ignored the gestures Holly threw into the sound booth.
"I don't know what kind of game you're playing at, Snowflake, but maybe you can get one of those women to call in. I take back my request. You can play The Chipmunk Song all you want."
The phone clicked off.
Brittany glanced over to Holly. Her boss's mouth was still agape. Neither of them knew what to say. Brittany reached over and manipulated the queue. She casually slotted the next twenty-five spots for the Chipmunks song.
Alright you Chipmunks, ready to sing your song?
"Britt…" Holly warned in the sound booth. "Think about what you're doing…"
I'd say we are!
Yeah! Let's sing it now!
"She said I could play the song as many times as I want…"
"Yes, but we have sponsors to please and other songs to play." Holly saw the look in Brittany's eyes. She tried to appeal to Brittany's Christmas spirit. "You were going to do a special segment on reindeer myths and Santa sightings tonight."
"We can bump those. I've got lots of time and we might not even be broadcasting at the Annual Tree Lighting. I think that clears my schedule for another night to do the reindeer special."
The Chipmunks song looped and started to play again.
"Britt…"
"Holls, trust me, this is going to be great. No worries. You know how good I am…"
Holly lifted her eyebrow at Brittany's choice of words. She had seen how "good" her protégé could be with other women. The idea of witnessing Brittany trying the same sort of shenanigans over the radio on Holly's show was more than enough to make her worried. She had seen Brittany get excited although this was on a different level. Something about Scrooge had sparked a switch in Brittany. This Scrooge had intrigued Brittany so much that she wasn't going to stop until the Christmas grouch called again.
"By playing the Chipmunks song over again? I'm sure that's really gonna go great." Holly shook her head and looked at the clock. "You have until the end of your show and then tomorrow we're moving on."
"Just trust me. It won't go longer than that."
"Get whatever that -" Holly wagged her finger to the inside of the studio to refer to whatever exchange just happened between Brittany and Scrooge. "-was and get it out of your system. I'm probably going to get phone calls from the town council about the impropriety of our late night show."
We can hardly stand the wait,
Please Christmas don't be late.
Holly wanted her to attract more attention to the show and Brittany wanted to make sure Scrooge was listening. If her plan didn't accomplish both, then Brittany doubted there was anything she could do to gain more listeners.