Lost in the Dark

By E.M. Megs

Chapter 38 – Life Choices

Kyoya was still feverish when his mother came in while he pulled on a new shirt. He didn't even acknowledge that she was there. Everyone thought he was going crazy and that in itself was frustrating enough without his mother becoming involved – his mother that was supposed to be dead no less. "Haruhi came and talked to me yesterday afternoon," Mayumi began and he groaned.

"Mother, I was sick."

He didn't even realize that she was close until he felt her hand on his forehead. "You still are, my dear," she said pointedly. "You should still be resting, Kyoya."

"I don't need rest," he muttered stubbornly.

"What are you going to do, Kyoya? Go find a woman who has been dead for 20 years?" It was the closest he'd ever heard his mother get to incredulous. He looked away slightly ashamed, slightly angry. He was absolutely sure that if he went where he knew the capital of Witchland was supposed to be, he'd find her, dead or not. "This is ridiculous! Is this because you're regretting your choice of wife?"

"No-"

"Because if it is you had your chance, son. Your father gave you the choice of who you wanted to marry when you were 17 and you thought on it for almost 5 years before proposing to Saren. I don't think you were wrong."

"It's not because of Saren and Haruhi, Mother," he growled with an annoyed edge. He pulled a vest from his wardrobe and slung it on over his shirt and started tucking it into his trousers.

Mayumi plowed on without blinking an eye at the tone her son was using; a tone that would have had his father reprimanding him in an instant. "Then what is it about? You love Saren despite the fact that you quarrel constantly."

He heaved a sigh of frustration and looked straight at his mother. "She's supposed to be dead, Mother."

"That's not a way to talk about your wi-"

"She's not supposed to be my wife because she was supposed to be hung by Father's orders 2 years ago." Mayumi faltered but still opened her mouth with a retort only to be cut off again. "You were supposed to die 12 years ago by one of the Witch's arrows, Mother. Father thought it was a Moradian so he persecuted them. Saren was one of them. That is what was supposed to happen."

"Well, I'm obviously not dead Kyoya. Though you seem to wish it so."

"It's not that I wish it, Mother. It's that I woke up 5 days ago and have had only memories of another world in my head since then. And that world is the one that I live in. It's the one that I want to live in even if you're dead."

"And why is that?"

"Because I have Haruhi there. She doesn't hate me there."

"Haruhi doesn't hate you, Kyoya."

"She acts like it. I have Haruhi in all of these memories. I'm married to her. And instead of being on the brink of war like it is here, there we just ended it. Like your marriage to Father ended the Tribal-Filandrian War."

"I never-"

"You told Fuyumi when she was engaged to Fuko so she wouldn't be afraid."

"She told yo-"

"I doubt she did here. There she did though. Because Haruhi was refusing to marry me and I was frustrated by it." Mayumi did nothing but stare at him for a long time so he finished stringing his belt through his belt loops and slipped on his shoes. "Do you understand why I have to find the Witch now, Mother? I have to figure out what's real. I have to know whether the world of my memories actually exists or if I'm really going insane."

"I'm telling you that she's dead, Kyoya," Mayumi murmured weakly.

"I don't think she is. I think she's where her palace is in my memories."

"You're still sick. Just wait until-"

"I don't have time, Mother. I found blood in my vomit and urine this morning. My body is shutting down."

His mother looked absolutely devastated at this news but he merely brushed past her. "What? You- How? Kyoya!" He kept walking despite the fact that it pained him to leave her behind. "Kyoya Ohtori! Turn around and explain yourself!"

"I don't have time, Mother," he called back, stopping but not turning around.

"Then explain to me." Saren's voice nearly made his heart stop but he forced himself not to turn around. "I'm supposed to be dead? You're dying? I always knew that you still kept secrets but Kyoya."

"Saren, I don't have time for this. At the rate I'm going my kidneys are going to fail by tomorrow morning and then everything else will follow. I have to find her and figure out what she's done to me."

"No one did anything to you!"

"Then why am I dying?" he finally roared, fed up with explaining to everyone. "Why do I feel like I'm supposed to be living in a different world? How else do you explain any of that, Saren? I've been poisoned by someone! And I'm going to find her!" He left and didn't look back. He had to get on a horse and go. He couldn't wait any longer. Haruhi was dressed in riding clothes with two horses already prepared when he got to the stables. "Haruhi-"

"I'm coming with you and there's nothing you can say that will change my mind," she said, mounting one of the two horses with ease.

"You're marrying Tamaki in two days."

"So I'll be back by then." He impatiently mounted his own horse while she continued. "I'm not going to let you go out and kill yourself. Someone's got to take care of you and you obviously aren't in the mood for Saren's company given the way you yelled at her in the hall a couple minutes ago."

He let out a low growl of frustration but ultimately said, "Fine. But if you can't keep up, then I'm leaving you behind," and spurred his horse into a full gallop out of the stables.

~o~

On day 14 Yoshio came for her. He had two guards with him as though she might cause trouble or try to kill him. Secretly she was disappointed that he would think that especially after being shown that the Witch had clearly been the one that had killed his wife. "I knew your patience and hospitality wouldn't last forever, Your Majesty, but I never thought that you'd actually arrest the wife of your son."

The tiny trace of smile that curled at Yoshio's lips was filled with bitterness. "Miss Fujioka, you deceived me for months, your intentions are not entirely clear, your marriage to my son was invalid at best, and he may very well be gone, if not now then in a few days time."

Haruhi pursed her lips. "And my father?"

The Narian King gave a short sigh and replied, "His offense is separate from yours and will be dealt with separately."

"And what offense is that, if I may be so bold as to ask?"

He didn't answer her question. "Come with me, Fujioka."

"With all due respect, sir, I'd prefer to stay with Kyoya." Yoshio glanced once at his comatose son then turned his sharp eyes back to her.

"I'd prefer not to use force."

"You're going to have to if you expect me to go to the dungeon and leave him."

Yoshio's stare was cold and uncompromising. "I watched this poison kill my wife. She couldn't fight it. What makes you think Kyoya is any different? My son is not stronger than my wife. He is going to die as well."

"Your problem is that you've never had faith in him. He's never been enough for you. I believe in him like he believed in me, Your Majesty. And I know that he will survive this even if it takes years for him to do it."

"Are you sure your faith isn't misguided?"

"Are you? You put your faith in a woman who killed your wife and would have had your children murdered." Yoshio masked his annoyance surprisingly well. He didn't say anything, but a wave of his hand had his guards stepping forward. Her hand shot to her sword handle. "I wouldn't, Your Majesty."

"And why is that, Princess?" he retorted.

"Because if you arrest me you will have a terrible time explaining it to my people. Especially when we both know that they want peace and equality just as much as I do." Yoshio raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Not to mention I could take both your guards and have my sword at your throat in a matter of seconds."

The King scoffed a bit and nodded to his guards. Haruhi drew her sword and held it in front of her. "King Yoshio, I am the Kiran soldier that tied with your son for hand-to-hand combat champion of Filandria. Do you really want to test me?" His guards glanced at him, waiting for a response. "I just want to stay with him. At least until he wakes up. I will properly submit myself to your judgment once Kyoya is awake and I know that he is really okay. You have my word."

"And you think the word of a woman means anything to me?"

"I don't think it does... But it should."

Yoshio stared at her long and hard with his jaw tightening more and more until he finally gave in begrudgingly. "Until he wakes. No longer. These guards will be outside your room and if you so much as dare to think of fleeing this castle, you and your father will be arrested on spot. Understood?"

"Crystal clear, Your Majesty."

He turned and left with a final glare in her direction and Haruhi collapsed back on the bed, glancing at the man she married. "Please don't make me a liar, Kyoya.," she whispered tiredly. "I can't have that offense on my record as well."

~o~

By the time they reached central Mora, Kyoya could barely sit straight on his horse anymore. When he slid off, he practically fell straight into Haruhi, who waited to catch him. "Kyoya, what are we doing in Flecroydiff?"

"This is where she built her castle."

"There's nothing here. Just a small village of farmers."

"No. She's here."

Haruhi pursed her lips and reached up to feel his forehead. "Kyoya, you're burning up. We need to r-"

"I'm not resting until I figure out what she did to me, Haruhi," Kyoya interrupted. He then took a step and promptly fell to his knees. Haruhi caught him under the arms and lowered him carefully.

"Kyoya... You-"

"I have to find her. It's the only way I'm going to live."

When he looked her straight in the eyes she had tears in them. "You can hardly even walk."

Kyoya smirked. "That's what you're here for isn't it? To help me." She looked away, her eyes squeezing shut.

When she finally sighed and turned back to him she just shook her head and muttered, "I hate you."

"No you don't."

"Shut up and let's go," she grumbled, hoisting him up carefully and letting him lean on her heavily.

The Moradian territory of Flecroydiff, otherwise known as Witchland to him, was mostly mountains with small valleys of farmland in between. Currently they stood on the edge of a wheat field with a farmhouse in the distance. Kyoya shuffled forward till he could touch the wheat, tilted his head back, and roared, "SHOW YOURSELF, WITCH!"

There was silence, during which Haruhi glanced at him worriedly. "I KNOW YOU'RE HERE! I WANT ANSWERS!"

He suddenly found himself being dropped to the ground, Haruhi turned a glare on him as she hovered over him. "What answers would those be?" she snarled in a voice that wasn't hers.

"What did you do to me, Witch?"

"Nothing you didn't want," she retorted, and Haruhi's eyes gave a little roll. "Your desire was for me to have died instead of your great-grandfather, that despicable Wizard. Coincidentally that would have also prevented the death of your mother and your beloved Saren." She leaned down further and he could have sworn that Haruhi's eyes glowed red for a split second with the possession of the Witch. "You created this. I just added the magic to the Moradian poison to make it possible."

"And what did my mother dream up then?" he demanded.

"Your mother? Your mother? She had no regrets. Nothing to change. Not anything major anyway. She couldn't tell the difference between reality and fantasy so she died from it. I was rather hoping the same would go for you, but no. You had to dig." Haruhi heaved an unnatural sigh and straightened up. He did his best to sit up as well. "You could still stay," she said offhandedly. "I could wipe your memory, heal your illness, let you live the rest of your life here. It's your choice, really. Perish out there at 22 or live till you're 94 here, having raised two children with Saren and become the Narian King after your eldest brother dies when you're 30."

Kyoya swallowed and the Witch was suddenly gone from Haruhi, her voice returning to normal. "You could stay," she said softly, "With me. I wouldn't marry Tamaki if you asked." He blinked and Saren was there next to her.

"You could have us both," Saren murmured, "I'd... learn to live with it."

He shut his eyes and shook his head, his resolve hardening. "Kyoya... Please don't let me die again." His mother's voice cracked him a bit. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Please just let me watch you grow old."

He swallowed down the lump in his throat and shook his head again. "I'm sorry, Mother." He drew in a deep breath and looked up at the sky. "Enough games, Witch!" he called. The three women disappeared in a wisp of smoke and Maia Venefica herself appeared before him. Her hand curled around his chin, her fingers digging into his cheeks. "I want Haruhi," he said.

"You can have her here," Maia retorted with a sneer.

"No," he stated firmly, "I want the real Haruhi. My Haruhi. The one that I married."

"What if I told you she's dead?" the Witch asked as though it were a perfectly normal thing to say in civilized conversation.

"She isn't," Kyoya hissed, "because I stopped you from killing her."

"And what if you make it back only to discover that I was right?"

"I don't care. I choose there."

"Why do you insist on loving that half-blooded mutant?"

"I don't insist. Love doesn't follow logic or human law, Maia. You should learn that."

Maia studied him for a long time, as though trying to figure out how to put him together. "Make your choice then." Haruhi, Saren, and Mayumi appeared once more, this time accompanied by two small children with Saren. "These are the children you would have had with Saren."

"This won't work on me," he said coldly, "Saren's dead. Mother's dead. And that is not Haruhi. That is Tamaki's fiance." He turned a cold glare on Maia again. "I already told you that I choose Haruhi." A splitting headache hit him and forced his head further toward the ground.

"Are you sure?" Maia growled.

"I. Choose. Haruhi," he gritted out. Ringing started in his ears and light became too bright to keep his eyes open.

"Positive?"

"I CHOOSE HARUHI!" he bellowed and passed out.

~o~

On day 18 she woke and Kyoya wasn't breathing. "No," she whispered, scrambling to find his pulse. There was none. She covered her mouth and forced herself to breathe if only to keep from hyperventilating. "No. No. Kyoya. No. This isn't happening. No." She ran her hands through her hair and let out a nervous breath.

"Dammit, Kyoya," Haruhi hissed, tilting his head back and leaning down to push air into his lungs with her frantic breath. Her hands shook as they plugged his nose. She swallowed and hovered, hoping that would be enough. When he didn't move, she placed her shaking hands on the center of his chest and started shoving. "Come on," she breathed. "Don't do this to me."

"He's dead isn't he?" Yoshio's voice floated in from the door, cold and ruthless.

"No," she shot back. "No, he's not. He wouldn't." One of her hands raised and wiped angrily at the tears flowing down her cheeks. She kept pressing, even when she felt the room crowding with other people. Someone took Kyoya's wrist while she leaned down to breathe more air into her husband's lungs.

Haruhi went back to determinedly compressing his chest until a hand rested on top of hers to still her movements. "Haruhi," Akito's voice was soft, "He's gone."

She stared down at Kyoya's still face, her tears dripping down her chin and onto his still chest. His still hands lay at his sides while her trembling ones took his still shoulders and gripped the fabric of his shirt tightly.

"No he's not," she said, her shoulders and head slowly drooping. "H-He can't. No." Her eyes scanned his face again and then she started screaming, her head dropping to press their foreheads together. "No, no, no, no, NO!"

Someone pulled her off Kyoya, kicking and screaming in grief. Fuyumi had a hand over her mouth and was sobbing near the door. "COME BACK!" Haruhi screamed toward the body on the bed as the guards started dragging her away. "KYOYA, COME BACK TO ME!"

And as though he had heard her, the body of Kyoya Ohtori sucked in a gasping breath.

~o~

A/N: I don't like it. I don't like it but I don't know what else to do with it. So here you go. Originally meant to have this out by the 10th after my computer fiasco made me so late last month but alas. Happy Thanksgiving Americans. I'm gonna go gorge myself on mashed potatoes and stuffing.

Kudos to: reina. len and Infinities Lover.

Almost to the end, my friends. Two chapters max. Prepare yourselves.