A/N: Warning for self-harm.
"Phoebe?" Billie asked scanning the darkness that was surrounding her. "Phoebe are you there?" The room suddenly lit up revealing two demons and the bodies of Piper, Phoebe and Paige.
"Thank you for telling us how to kill The Charmed ones Billie. It really was easy." The first demon said smugly smiling at her whilst she stared at the bodies in shock.
"N-no." She stuttered. "I didn't tell you anything. I didn't. I protected them. I protected them." She whispered to herself. Snapping out of her daze she charged at the demons with her fists curled up into balls. Slamming her fist into the first demons face she was surprised when he just laughed at her.
"That the worst you got bitch?" He taunted whilst his friend pulled her away from him and tied her to the wall. "They suffered y'know? Oh boy did they suffer... but not as badly as you will." He smiled sickenly at her, his hungry eyes roaming across her body. "Your worthless Billie, pathetic, stupid, a whore, you'd be better off dead. You should be dead. Why aren't you? They saved you didn't they? And you paid them back how? You got them killed."
The demon opened his hand and conjured an energy ball into his palm, hurling it at Billie his eyes lit up with childish glee at Billie's tortured scream. The second demon handed him a knife and the first demon jumped up and down giddily.
"This will be fun." He said grinning like a child on christmas. Walking slowly towards Billie he plunged the knife into her hand. The scream sent a shiver of pleasure down his spine. Taking the knife to her thigh the demon carved the word 'WORTHLESS' harshly into her skin and watched as the blood slowly trickled down her leg. Billie had stopped screaming and thrashing about now, she just hung there, waiting for death.
Billie shot up and looked around her surroundings she saw the clocks' red numbers illuminate the room saying 3:23, she saw Phoebe asleep next to her which proved her dream wasn't real. Slowly getting out of the bed Billie walked towards the attic, taking a deep, steady breath in she opened the door and quickly began searching for something.
It wasn't long before she found what she was looking for. An athame. Gripping the weapon tightly, so tightly her knuckles were turning white, she walked back out of the attic and into the bathroom of Phoebe's room. Quickly locking the door behind her before turning the light on. Pulling her sweat pants down, Billie sat crossed legged on the floor staring, glaring at her thigh, already hating herself for what she was about to do.
Running the athame across her thigh lightly as to not cut herself the first couple of times, she finally got the courage to carve, roughly but not deeply, the word 'WORTHLESS' just as she had seen in her dream. Letting her new wound leak blood a little before grabbing some toilet roll and pressing it lightly at first, then harder to feel more pain she stemmed the flow of blood and before long it stopped. Hiding the athame behind the toilet in a spot she knew no one would find it, she finished cleaning herself before she put her bottoms back on and went back into the bedroom.
Quietly making her way across the room as to not wake Phoebe she climbed back into bed wincing slightly as the quilt brushed her self inflicted wound. As soon as her head touched the pillow Phoebe moved into Billie and threw her arm around the broken girls waste. Billie blinked back her tears, yes she was ashamed with herself for giving in and causing herself more pain but she finally felt free. The pain she had suffered through had been pushed further and further down as well as the guilt she felt over her betrayal. Letting a single tear fall down her cheek Billie sucked in a deep breath to get control over her emotions again. Closing her eyes Billie fell into her first peaceful sleep in god knows how long.
When Phoebe woke up the first thing she realised was she was spooning Billie and her heart flooded with love. She finally had Billie back, granted the younger witch didn't know how she felt but that didn't matter, the only thing that mattered now was that Billie was in her arms, in her bed, safe and sound, not even having a nightmare. Phoebe lifted her head slightly so she could see the clock, 5:13, she didn't have to do anything today, apart from look after Billie but she would do that every day without hesitation. Laying herself back down she snuggled up closer to Billie and let out a contented sigh, her head buried into the crook of the blondes neck.
'I love you Billie.' Phoebe thought. 'I can't say it out loud yet, not until you're better but I do. I love you Billie Jenkins.' Billie moaned in her sleep and turned around so that she was facing Phoebe her hand found Phoebe's top and once again Phoebe found the young girl had fisted her top. 'Must bring her comfort. Or maybe it's to make sure I stay. Who cares I could stay like this forever it's practically heaven.' Phoebe was brought out of her internal musings when Billie moved her head onto her chest and moved her body impossibly close. Billie had an adorable look on her face that made Phoebe smile a 1000 watt smile, which only got bigger when Billie's thumb found it's way into her mouth. 'She's so much like a child sometimes. I don't understand it, how can someone go through what she has gone through, seen what she has seen and still keep some kind of childish innocence?' Phoebe was genuinely confused by that, she knew that if she had lost her parents as Billie had, if she had been tricked into betrayal, if she had to kill her sister and if she had been tortured she wouldn't be able to go on. She knew that and that was another reason she fell deeper in love with Billie because of how strong she was, because even though the demons had tried their hardest to break her, get her to tell them something. She didn't and one day Phoebe was going to make Billie tell her everything that had happened to her in the underworld. If it was all in one go or in little bits at a time, Phoebe needed to know, for herself and so she could help Billie.
Phoebe watched as Billie scrunched up her eyes before slowly opening them, blinking once, twice, three times she slowly smiled at Phoebe. Before she had been tortured she would've made some wise ass comment like 'You know it's rude to stare?' but Billie didn't trust anymore, she couldn't anything and everything had been a reason to hit her she just couldn't take that risk anymore. She didn't want anymore pain. So she just avoided eye contact and subtly moved away from Phoebe, not enough that the older girl noticed but enough that Billie felt safe.
"Good morning." Phoebe greeted her in a quiet, loving voice. "Did you sleep okay?" Billie was glad Phoebe couldn't see her eyes otherwise she would have noticed them widen in shock. Billie thought about telling Phoebe what she had done but knew that the brunette would be severely disappointed, and bad things happened when people were disappointed, so Billie forced herself to give Phoebe a small smile and nodded.
"Mmm me too. You hungry?" Billie shook her head and Phoebe had to contain her sigh, she missed Billie's sarcastic, witty remarks almost as much as she had missed the girl herself but she knew it would take a while before she heard one. She also had to contain her sigh over the fact that Billie just wasn't eating and the girl was so skinny it made her look incredibly ill. All of her clothes that had once been tight on her were now hanging of her body as they were so baggy and it was worrying Phoebe.
"Thirsty?" Again Billie only shook her head, this time Phoebe did sigh but immediately regretted it when Billie flinched and then tensed as if waiting to be hit. Thinking quickly Phoebe wrapped her arms around the younger girl and made soothing noises in her ear, which soon made Billie relax albeit only slightly.
"Okay then sweetie I'm going to go get the first aid kit so we can clean and re-bandage your back." Billie didn't change her facial expression she in fact the only reaction she had was to move as far away from Phoebe as the bed would let her. Phoebe returned as quickly as she could with one of the many first aid kits in the manor. Unwrapping Billie's back she saw the cuts healing quicker than they usually would. 'The healing must have worked but not properly. Stupid demons and their stupid magic hurting my Billie. My Billie? When did she become my Billie? Dammit Phoebe focus just get on with fixing the poor girl! There we go just clean her damn wounds.' Phoebe nearly chuckled at her inner monologue, she quickly finished up cleaning Billie's back and re-bandaged it. Smiling at her handy work she put everything back away and returned the first aid kit to its place in the bathroom cabinet.
A light tap on the door caught Phoebe's attention and she stood up to open the door, revealing Piper stood there, still clad in her sleeping clothes.
"Morning." She said smiling at Phoebe then noticing Billie was awake continued. "Good morning Billie are you hungry? I was just about to make breakfast." Billie's eyes were focused on the ground and she had shrunk into herself, Piper could barely make out Billie shake her head she moved that little.
Piper and Phoebe shared a glance. "Would you like to come downstairs today Billie? It's just you, me, Phoebe and Paige today. The boys are with their grandad and Leo has gone golfing." Billie nodded and stood up, shakily, both Piper and Phoebe wanted to rush to the blonde but knew that she wouldn't accept the help. Billie closed her eyes in pain, her thighs had brushed together and her 'Worthless' had suddenly felt as if it was on fire. Slowly she followed Piper and Phoebe downstairs and into the kitchen.
Piper set about making a big breakfast for them all including Paige who would be coming over shortly and Phoebe went to make some coffee for her, Piper and Paige and made Billie a glass of orange juice. Placing it in front of the blonde and continuing on with the coffee in hopes that Billie would drink it if she didn't make a big deal about two sisters made idle chit chat whilst Billie sat there silently, not moving, trying her hardest to just disappear or blend into the background. She didn't look at anything other than her feet and it was clear to anyone who could see her she was terrified.
Billie was incredibly thirsty, her throat felt so dry she could barely manage to swallow but she couldn't bring herself to drink the orange juice Phoebe had provided. As Piper looked over to her she noticed one thing, her eyes, they were blank, vacant, misted over, not showing anything at all emotional.
"Hey Pheebs could you make the toast?" Piper asked her younger sister taking her attention of the blonde staring at the orange juice. Phoebe nodded and Piper went back to making scrambled eggs.
Billie listened intently. She didn't say anything, didn't act on anything or move but she was listening, waiting for the inevitable, waiting for someone to hurt her. Badly. This was when she smelt it, burning, and all of a sudden she was back there as the demon was slowly burning her thigh. Pressing cigarette butts into her thigh, lighting matches and throwing them onto her stomach watching in sick pleasure as her skin bubbled and burn away. The rancid smell of burning flesh hit her all too hard and Billie began to shake and rock. Piper and Phoebe watched confused as to why the young girl suddenly turned as pale as a sheet, her forehead all clammy and the look of pure panic and fear in her eyes.
"Please. No. Stop." They heard her whispering. Bright lights filled the air as Paige orbed in smiling, the smile soon disappeared as she saw her charge and her sisters.
"No, stop. It hurts please. No, it burns, please stop." Piper connected the dots first. The burning toast had thrown Billie into a flashback. Where the bastards were burning her.
"Paige open the windows and get the smell of the burnt toast out of here. NOW! Phoebe me and you are gonna move Billie into the dining room, we'll try get her to calm down." Piper ordered already moving towards the fearful girl. By the time Paige cleared the kitchen she ran into the dining room to see her sisters still trying to get to Billie who was just continuously saying 'Help.' She was begging, pleaded, her eyes not moving and her stare not seeing. Struggling to breath due to hyperventilating as tears streamed down her face.
So far Phoebe hadn't said anything she was too shocked, seeing Billie like this she wasn't even this bad when they first saved her. Shaking her head to get herself out of her daze she stepped towards Billie. Piper knowing if anyone could reach the tortured girl Phoebe could moved to the side near Paige and watched the interaction intently.
Phoebe had moved over and knelt in front of the broken blonde in the corner. Billie's eyes were focused on the floor as she continued to plead for her life. "Billie?" Phoebe asked carefully, softly, lovingly. "Billie you are not there. They cannot hurt you anymore. They are gone Billie and I promise you that I will never let anyone hurt you ever again." But Phoebe's words were having no effect on the girl. Reaching out slowly with her hand she touched Billie's chin. The girl flinched but Phoebe didn't remove her hand, instead she slowly pushed Billie's face up so that they were looking into each others eyes.
Phoebes' eyes searched Billie's seeing all the fear, pain, panic and hurt in them and Billie for her part looked at Phoebe's eyes and saw nothing. She wasn't with the Charmed one's, she wasn't safe in the manor. She was in the underworld, in her cage, being tortured in the most horrific ways, going through more pain than any creature, human or not, good or evil, should ever have to go through.
"Billie. They cannot hurt you. I won't let them." Phoebe said stressing every word but keeping the same loving, caring tone.
"Need to be saved." Billie whispered to herself still not out of her memory. "Not worth saving. Just kill me." Billie began to beg for death shocking all the sisters. Piper gasped her shock but her emotions quickly went from sadness to anger, she wanted to bring those demons back just so she could kill them again. Paige went eerily silent and still, her mind running rampage going through every bad thing that could've happened to her first charge, her best friend. Phoebe on the other hand had tears streaming down her face, she couldn't lose Billie she just couldn't, she had just got her back. Billie was the love of Phoebe's life, Coop had told her and now that love was begging for death. No Phoebe would fix this, she had too.
"Billie you do deserve to be saved. You are worth it, you are worth everything. Please Billie, I know this seems hard now and as if you will never survive this but you can, you are so strong, you're the strongest person I know and you can't want to die Billie, you just can't. Please Billie come back to us. Come back to me." Phoebe pleaded.
Billie blinked, her eyes lost their haziness, she quickly scanned her surroundings and realising she was in no imminent danger threw herself into Phoebe's open and awaiting arms and cried. She cried so hard Phoebe thought she was going to break, she cried so hard that Phoebe wanted to take all the pain away. She wanted to kiss every tear away but knew she couldn't. Billie didn't need a relationship at the moment so Phoebe settled on pressing a loving kiss on the girls forehead as she continued to cry.
It took several minutes for Billie to calm down enough and she moved to the table with Phoebe. Piper and Paige had disappeared to go warm the food up but soon returned carrying two plates each. Placing the plates down in front of the designated person everyone began to eat including Billie albeit much slower and much less than the other three.
A/N: Well there it is. I hope you all enjoyed it. Each review is a hug for poor, broken Billie. :D