Author's notes: This chapter, or at least, the basic premise behind a certain large chunk of it, is one I've been meaning to do for quite a while. Also, due to the nature of this special chapter, expect to see another update soon, hopefully by the end of the week to follow up this one. Why is this one special, you ask? Sure it's a wee bit longer than the average, but...well, you'll see ;)

Edit: Well, that's what I get for uploading this after Meet the Pyro...ahem, been some delays on my end but all being well, the next chapter should still be uploaded before the end of this week. And no, this chapter was written before the Pyromania update, so that's not what's special (or shall I say "odd"?) about this chapter.

Chapter 26: The Nightmare Returns!

As the last fragile snowflakes touched the ground and the darkness around them became that of the approaching night rather than that of a storm, the team slowly came to a halt. Exhausted by their battles (and in Grigori's case, of pulling the trailer too) and the difficult trek down, Nils insisted that they stop and set up camp. Kevin and Jane, normally so fiery and insistent on continuing, offered only minimal resistance before agreeing to the idea.

After all, it had been hard enough not to lose anybody or any of their supplies to the steep, icy and rock drops so far and with increasing tiredness it only made sense that they rest. Could they have gone on further? Probably, but some strange sense of foreboding had fell on the group heavier than any blanket of mere snow...

Shuddering and shaking of the sense of dread and the feeling that they needed to be properly rested, they slowly made their way down to a large relatively flat expanse. The edges looked ready to crumble at the slightest touch and there was a sheer drop to one side, but otherwise the sections seemed stable and the path down from here was relatively gentle. Or at least gentler than that time the ground below them had started to shift, causing Grigori and the trailer to fall to a heap on a lower ledge. Some time with the Medic and both Engineers quickly got them back on the move, with Jane and Ewan offering to slowly drag the trailer along until the Heavy recovered.

The Russian refused of course, and so they'd continued their perilous journey, Scout, Spy and Sniper shaking from the cold, Pyro occasionally puffing a small burst from the flamethrower near them. But now...

For now they would rest. It didn't take long between the ten of them to set up their small camp, they'd brought some sturdy, if patchy and old, tents and blankets from the base and with the warmth of the dispenser and no falling snow, the trailer was also a fine spot to sleep. Ashley naturally sorted out the camp fire as Jane distributed the ancient rations he had found, the American clearly used to the military-issue food. The others dug in with less enthusiasm but enjoyed the sustenance all the same, the bitter chill sapping their strength as night fully descended upon the mountain.

Isaac shuffled slightly, trying to get comfortable. As they were still outside and vulnerable, everyone with some degree of armour beyond their usual clothing had opted to wear it to bed in case of any sudden dangers. He had, however, detached the LFD from his back as it would have been impossible to get any sleep with it on. Instead it radiated warmth by his side as he wriggled into his blanket more, ignoring the sting of the wind and the stars shining so brightly above, far away from any city and its light pollution.

The whirring and beeping of sentries watching over them and the crunching of snow underneath the Soldier's feet was oddly soothing in its own way. Even with the sentries and no sign of further attack, the team had agreed to have somebody on guard at all times and Jane had naturally jumped at the chance for first watch, with the others agreeing on an order after him. Hopefully they'd all be able to get some half-decent sleep despite having to be woken for their turn to stand watch...

And with that thought, Isaac drifted away, eyelids heavy, world darkening one shade blacker than the world he saw through his goggles.

###

He was rudely awaken by angry and terrified yelling, the sky above still dark and strangely cloudless, stars twinkling with innocence even as mayhem ravaged the world below. Tired teammates, not fully comprehending the sight before them struggled to get into formation, waking others and not willing to believe their worst fears. Shock, the cold night air and their own pumping hot blood surging with adrenaline woke up the mercenaries and they stood united, eyes locked onto a single burning orb glaring unblinkingly into their souls.

Saxton Hale stood there, chest bare and proud even here in this frozen climate, alive and well, as if he had never fallen, in the flesh.

...except, not quite. There was no mistaking that it was the Australian King, but what was somewhat shocking was his appearance. In the combination of pale moonlight and bright starlight, an almost unearthly glow surrounded his muscular frame and his body had certainly sustained damage, chunks of flesh and skin replaced with hard steel, a few chunky wires connecting seemingly random metal pieces that shone through the darkness.

But it was not his return or even his new augmentations to his already almost indestructible body that got their jaws dropping and forced them to question their sanity. Where one eye should have been was another chunk of metal, but most of that was covered with an eyepatch and his standard hat lined with crocodile teeth had been replaced with another iconic piece of headgear, sporting the skull and crossbones. One leg ended not in a booted foot but instead an intricately designed...well, pegleg. Sure it had wires connected to ports embedded in his flesh higher up and had randomly blinking lights on it, but it was still an old-fashioned pegleg.

And finally, just as their minds were barely finished processing his sudden presence and changed appearance, they noticed that the main bulk of his body, although not immediately noticeable in the pale light, was ever so slightly transparent. A single snowflake, separated from its brethren in the snow-less air, fluttered down and...passed straight through the Mann Co CEO, his transparency exaggerated for a moment as it went through to the other side and gently landed on the uneven ground behind him. Hale's body returned to its former opacity and a toothy grin materialised on his face as he flexed his muscles.

"Yarr, mates...surprised to see me, beep? Haha, you hippies could never kill an endangered bald eagle, let alone me, ye scurvy dogs! Just try and hit me, boop!"

The nightmare laughed, spreading his arms wide, encouraging the mercenaries to lay into him as he fearlessly stood there, mocking them and all the progress they had made. A horrible sense of fear had taken over their senses once more, one that chilled them to core and the shivering as they stood there was for once not due to the wintry cold.

"For I am SAXTON HALE, Australian! I literally don't know what defeat is! And now...I am SAXTON HALE...AUSTRALIAN ROBOTIC PIRATE GHOST!"

And with that announcement snow on the ground for miles around exploded upwards into the air as animals fled in fear, fleeing far, far into the night. The stars and moon vanished as snow swirled around, the features of the mountain around them vanishing until there was only an empty void containing them and the eternal Beast.

Despite the overwhelming fear, the despair, the flat-out confusion...the team tensed and with a fire in their hearts deflecting the damp cold all around them, they unleashed everything they had at this inhuman monster. Bullets ripped through the air like a predator rends its prey's flesh, thunder boomed and rocked through the earth, great fires cast demonic dancing shadows across the ground, explosions thundered and threatened to shake the world apart and all the while, Hale stood, laughing.

Not laughing his usual booming laugh, full of life and his own twisted joy. It was a laugh that was deep and devoid of joy, a laugh that prickled their soul, that had strange taints of corruption laced through it, as inhuman and lifeless as the most evil undead ghoul. They could only watch, horrified, as nothing seemed to faze the beast. Bullets, tranquilliser darts, rockets and grenades simply passed through his form as if he wasn't there, impacting uselessly behind him. Explosions and fires at his feet simply warped his spectral image for a split instant before the flames were extinguished by his unnatural presence. Anything hitting the metal on his form pinged of uselessly with causing a scratch.

And always he taunted.

"Did you really think those little embers could match up to my fire?"

"Those custom-tooled bullets aren't doing any good for you now, big man?"

"My alarm clock creates a bigger boom than you do, Cyclops!"

"Call yourself a man, you wannabe soldier?"

"Where's your little toys boys? Did I already break them?"

"Real men fight, not heal!"

"A headshot is no good if there's nothing up there to hit, you pathetic Aussie outcast!"

"Tranq rounds? What do you think I am, you sneaking coward? Some baby wanting to sleep!"

"Not so cocky now, ya little insect, are you?"

"What happened to the man that knocked me down last time? Lost your goal already?"

Eventually the gunfire ceased and a very aggravated and fearful Team Fortress looked on with wide eyes, debating what to do next. For now Hale had yet to attack and they still held out on the hope that this was all some warped dream or a clever trick with holograms or something.

The Australian still stood there, looking somewhat disappointed that they'd yet to even tickle him, yet alone hurt him. And so his presence loomed over them, sucking all hope out of them as he laughed once more, the sound echoing all around them and assaulting their minds.

They were doomed, tormented and it looked like there would be no escape from this waking nightmare...

###

Surprisingly, it was Jack of all people who snapped first. Teeth clenched and face furrowed, he threw his rifle to one side, bringing up his crossbow to bear. With a swift, if tense, movement, an arrow was loaded, pulled back and he brought his aim up. Shaking as tears flowed down his eyes, memories of abuse and torment due to his small size and lack of Australian features back during his childhood threatened to overwhelm him, he fired the arrow.

Everyone watched, their own torment momentarily taking a back seat as if flew gracefully through the air and...lodged itself in Hale's pirate hate, the bolt dragging the absurd headwear off the Australian's ghostly head and dropping it into the snow. And in that instant the laughter stopped.

The undead King of Australia suddenly appeared in front of the Sniper without even the slightest bit of motion blur as warning. Glaring and growling, he poked a single finger into the smaller man's chest, sending him hurtling through the air onto the ground with a jolt.

"That. Was. My. Hat. You do not touch my hat. You do not try and craft my hat. My hat is not for sale at the Mann Co Store. And most of all, you do not shoot my hat off my head."

There was a cold fury to Hale's voice quite unlike the burning temper they were used to. The man reached out with one of his massive hands and despite his ghostly form, dragged Jack to his feet, brining the two men eye to eye.

"Do you understand?"

Not waiting for a response, he pulled back his other fist and shot forward, just stopping at the Sniper's forehead. Blinking in surprise and quivering with fear, Jack simply hung there and watched as the Mann Co CEO sent a single finger forward out of his fist, flicking the Sniper's own hat, causing it to shoot off into the void, never to be seen again.

Dropping his fellow Australian back with his teammates, Hale suddenly materialised near where he'd been standing earlier, except now he was seated on a large boulder, hat back on his head and undamaged, wearily yawning as glanced at a watch that had materialised on his wrist.

###

Saxton was clearly playing games with them, toying with his prey before he went in for the kill. The swirl of snow reduced vision and made impossible...not as if they could have really ran away anyway. Still, even as invincible as their already ludicrously tough opponent seemed, they had to try. There had to be some way forward, as crazy as the solution may have been. Right now they were desperate for anything and crazy might just work. Thankfully they had their own bundle of crazy in the form of Jane Doe.

Their Soldier had stepped forwards, madness in his eyes, as he puffed his chest forward and addressed everyone, both teammates and enemy, in his usual yelling, no-nonsense fashion.

"Listen up you worthless maggots, and you too, you sickening Australian abomination! Ever since the dawn of time, pirates have always had one eternal enemy, a major foe who never ceases to score victory over the pirate scum time and time again! That's right, I speak of none other than the humble Ninja!"

A pause and a pained thoughtful expression fell on Jane's face, partially obscured by his helmet as he tried to recall some half-forgotten information.

"If a pirate proves resistant to rockets, then you must fight!...with Ninja! Sun Tzu said that, and I think he knows a bit more about killing undead pirates than we do, because he destroyed all of them! Then he got his dead animals from his boat, gathered his fight money and..."

It was at this point with Nils' face deeply in both palms, that Dell spoke up.

"Uh...Jane? That's great an' all, but I don't think that's quite how it went...an' even if it did, how's that help us?"

Soldier didn't answer, instead tossing his helmet to the ground with a slow and deliberate motion, the clang as it hit all too audible. Ignoring everyone else, he grabbed at his uniform and tore, placing the strips around his face, dramatically tying them together with a final pull as his mask was completed. Stepping forward with a stealth most unlike the loud American, the crunching of snow not even audible, Jane drew a katana from its sheath on his back, pulling it and himself into a ready stance as Hale looked on, amused.

Gabriel, being arguably the most well-travelled and amongst the best educated, was muttering angrily under his breath about the sheer amount of things wrong with this scene, ranging from nationality to misquoting The Art of War worse than usual and using the wrong weapon. Nils, just slowly patted the gibbering Spy on the back, noting that Ashley had vanished off somewhere whilst nobody was looking. Everyone else was intently staring at the scene unfolding before them as slowly the robotic pirate ghost brought himself to his feet, cutlass materialising in one hand.

Much less stealthy, he clunked his way over to meet Soldier, the two staring each other down as a faint wind blew snow from the ground between them. As if it was some unspoken cue, the pair vanished into a blur of movement, sword meeting sword in a clash of cool steel, the pirate blocking the ninja's two-handed swift and intricate blows with clumsy but strong single-handed motions. Soldier darted all over the place, jumping, rolling and slashing all the while, not once landing a solid blow on the Beast.

Eventually Hale seemed to tire of this game and struck Jane square in the gut in mid-jump, the American frozen in pain for a moment before launched back at his teammates with a sickening crunch as he landed and slid across the floor in a painful, but thankfully unconscious, heap.

###

Ewan was the next to step up to the fray, arguably with even worse logic than Jane had employed.

"Listen up ye no good beastie! I've hunted Nessie, it cost me my eye. I've hunted sprites and pixies and the fair folk with the ease most men breathe. I've seen unholy terrors like no other on this mortal earth and you're just another for the list!"

Straightening himself, the Demoman, clad in his gleaming armour, shield and sword at the ready, stood tall and locked his single eye with the Australian's own. Ready to charge, energy flowing through the burning blood in his veins, the Scotsman seemed to glow himself as he faced down the monstrous Beast.

"They say to fight fire with fire, I say it takes another pirate to fight a pirate!"

With this Ewan gestured at his eyepatch and the pirate hat of his own he'd placed atop his head.

"You may be some robotic pirate ghost an' an aussie to boot, but ye hav'n seen the likes of me yet! I'm the Black Scottish Cyclops, last of the Highlander Demomen! I am man, I am knight, I am pirate: I'm a grim bloody fable with an unhappy end!"

At this a spark seemed to illuminate the air, something that tasted so sweet and shone so bright, it could have almost been hope. Generation after generation of explosives and stubborn strength flowed through the Demoman's body as surely as the alcohol that strengthened his resolve further still. Almighty energy surging through his body, the glimmer of surprise in his enemy's eye and that was all it took.

A great and terrible cry of "FREEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOM!" echoed throughout the mountains past the white void Hale had generated and Ewan charged forward, a blur of fiery spirit and iron will, sword glowing and sparking with his intent as it cut through the frozen air towards the beast's neck...

And so it was that the beefy Australian sidestepped, holding one arm out for the charging Demolition-Knight-Pirate-Man to choke himself on before being flung back in a similar heap as Soldier, sliding across the ground and narrowly being impaled by his own sword as it flew through the air and implanted itself by his head.

###

Astonishingly, it was the Medic who next stood up and faced down Hale, fire in his eyes from the fall of his comrades. The Medigun was trained on the fallen before it was tossed aside into the snow, as was the backpack element. Slowly stepping backwards and rifling through the trailer, not once taking his eyes off the Australian, he unveiled a wildly different combination of gun and backpack.

Theme music seemed to come from nowhere as the rest of Team Fortress looked on in confusion with each step Nils made, strapping the Proton Pack on, aiming the particle thrower at the robotic pirate ghost as the particle accelerator on his back hummed into life. Feeling the strange compulsion to give at least one line of dialogue before he weakened this ghost and trapped it, the German spoken, ignoring Hale's growing frown.

"...I ain't afraid of no ghosts, dummkopf."

Determination blazing in his eyes, Nils readied and was about to fire, when Saxton met his eyes, expression deadly serious.

"...that film doesn't exist yet, doc. Do this and you'll cause a time paradox of such destruction that not even my fists could meet."

Realising his mistake and the potential disaster averted, he shut his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief before he too, was knocked unconscious by his foe, this time by an expertly kicked small rock to the forehead.

###

And so one by one, each member of Team Fortress tried to find some new and even more bizarre way to banish this abomination that continued to haunt them all through the night.

Jack, clearly not having learnt his lesson the first time, attempted to shoot off Hale's hat again and made extensive use of his Jarate stockpile before he was buried into a deep crater. The Sniper's hat chose this time to return from its snowy adventure, floating back out of the void and landing carefully on the fallen Australian's face.

Kevin challenged Saxton to a little game of who could hit the ball further with a bat. Surprisingly, the Beast agreed to let them go if the Scout won. No doubt the boy's batting was impressive, but the challenge was doomed from the start. Even ignoring the fact that Hale had used an entire tree as his "bat" and the boulder he'd been sitting on as his "ball", the snowy and foggy void made it impossible to see where the balls had gone and soon enough the Boston batter was sleeping a good distance away, an irritated flick from Saxton shutting the boy up.

Grigori entered a chess-boxing match against the robotic pirate ghost, who looked excited about the boxing element and less so about the chess section. The Russian proved to be highly adept at chess and could have clearly given the Engineers quite the challenge, assuming he didn't just steamroll them. Unfortunately, his bulky Australian foe swiftly overpowered the Heavy in the more physical sections, preventing the game from being continued. No doubt Grigori wanted to get up, but even for a man of his size, dislodging the avalanche he'd been buried in would have been tricky.

Gabriel, strangely quiet and polite, suggested that the remaining gentlemen, consisting of himself, Hale, Isaac and Dell, enjoy the night together with several card games, a little gambling and some drinks. Sure enough, the atmosphere relaxed and a strange warmth grew between the men as they slowly got more drunk, the gambling going from mere weapons and scrap metal up to hats, supply crate keys and refined metal caches. The Spy grew ever frustrated as, despite his own cheating, the Australian continued to beat him at every turn with nothing more than luck. The game came to an end when a drunken but good natured pat on the back from Saxton ended up smashing the Frenchman's skull through the table, leaving only a bloody, splintered mess behind.

###

"Well that was fun but it looks like everyone else has gone to bed, the bunch of wusses. Looks like its just you and me."

Hale was entirely too cheerful with that remark as he towered over the two Engineers, both all too aware of how small they were. Isaac at least had the presence of mind to wonder where the Pyro had gone as Dell considered his options. With a mere look passing between them conveying all they though, the twin Engineers nodded before turning back to the menace that had annihilated their team, robbed them of their hope, warped the world around them into a void and had weakened their wits with fear and his presence alone.

They drew their weapons determined to go down fighting. Their choice brought a smile to the Australian's features and for a moment the sense of dread and fear lifted, replaced instead with burning flame of courage and hope. He cracked his knuckles and his neck, performing a few stretches as the two mercenaries checked their weapons, made their peace with the world and readied themselves for what would likely be the end of them.

His shotgun, Vengeance, was crackling with power, ready to fight one last battle. His armour and robotic arm was ready, overdrive fully charged. The LFD bathed him in a crimson aura as Dell made his last checks by his side. Hearts beating as one, the Crimson Demon and his counterpart together faced death, looked the reaper in the eye and marched to their fate, trigger fingers itching.

It was only due to the sound of running and a wordless cry that halted them.

"MMMMMPPPPHH!"

Was that...the Pyro?

Sure enough, a figure appeared in the haze and the form of Ashley made itself apparent, interrupting the showdown before it could begin, carrying something overhead. Skidding to a half in front of the two Texans, the Pyro huffed and puffed for a moment, suit covered in gashes and tears, blood seeping down and mixing with the pure white snow that had settled on Ashley's body. Isaac and Dell moved to stand by their teammate but were held back with a single arm.

The firebug turned to face them, fire the only thing visible in the lenses of their gas mask.

"Nuh uh, stay buhk. Uh gohh mphiss."

Startled, they stepped back, eyes finally drawn to what the Pyro had been holding and had now placed by their side. It could have been their weary eyes playing on them but...was that a vacuum cleaner!

Determination sunk into Ashley, the monster they'd faced down before had come back, had destroyed the team once more and now it was up to them to end this creature once and for all. A terrible roaring battle cry escaped their throat, something not even the suit and mask could muffle. The Pyro ran forwards, vacuum nozzle at the ready as Hale's eye grew wide with realisation and tried to flee, slipping over in the snow and holding up his hands before his face, terror dancing all over his features.

The cleaner whirred into life, sucking in air and snow and dust and dirt alike, until finally its vicious suction was brought down in harsh justice against the Australian Robotic Pirate Ghost. Moaning in pain and terror, form distorted and becoming ever more distorted by the moment, the vacuum sucked at Hale, the machine shaking and juddering, the nozzle jumping about in Ashley's hands.

But the Pyro held true and continued their advance until finally with a shriek that seemed to pierce reality itself, the nightmarish Beast was sucked in, ectoplasm, eyepatch, hat, metal and all. In that instant the hazy void lifted and the clear night sky became visible once more, the snow settling to the ground, undisturbed. The cleaner rattled and spluttered and choked on the contents it had just devoured, whining and starting to smoke as the suction cut off.

Eyes wide underneath the mask, the pyromaniac ran to the edge and flung the cleaner off the edge, strong arms grasping them and dragging them back just as the machine exploded into a cloud of dark smoke and slime and dust, taking out a large chunk of the mountain with it. Ashley just looked in fear at where they'd been standing moments before, the land vaporised.

###

Looking back at the smiling, crying men who'd pulled her back, the snuggled together for warmth and cried themselves to sleep.

For Ashley, Dell and Isaac, the white void had been replaced with cold night and now that night was replaced with pure darkness once more.

The nightmare was over.

Author's notes: No I've not gone insane, I went insane a long time ago. If you can't figure this chapter out, don't worry, all will be explained by next update. 'course, I'm assuming that most of you now realise why this is a special chapter, right?