I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. I own only the story. Super sorry guys, but this one is going to be short.
Chapter 15
Minato smirked and waited to be showered with birthday gifts and cake. Kakashi sighed and sat down next to his lover and opened up his dirty book. The other ninjas looked at each other, waiting for someone to sacrifice them self to go first. Kiba looked around frantically in the kitchen for something to give, but only found a box of Teddy Grams and one of his fuzzy partners collars and leash.
"Naruto! Go give your daddy his gift!" Jiraiya pushed the boy ahead of him.
"Hey, hey! That's dirty you old goat!" Naruto shouted at his teacher. The pervert glared daggers at the boy.
"I don't look anything like a damn goat, you moron!" Jiraiya snarled.
"Hey! Where's my gifts?" Minato asked in a stern tone. Naruto swallowed hard and approached his father.
"Here oto-san!" Naruto gave the man a blue bag. Minato smirked and took it.
"Well, let's see what you got me." Minato ripped open the bag and pulled out a box of extra butter popcorn, some cheap sake, two boxes of cheap glow in the dark condoms, a beef bowl of ramen, three cans of whip cream, a pack of gum, some cheetah print duck tape, pink bow-ties, a Konoha village souvenir key chain, a CD of David Bowie, and one box of extra cheesy mac and cheese. Minato looked at the coffee table that was now full of random, useless shit.
"I guess you pass boy." Minato told his son.
"Yes!" Naruto smirked and walked off.
"Next!" Minato ordered. Sasuke walked up and plopped down a bag of M and Ms. Minato looked at the bag.
"You fucking kidding me?" Minato asked. Sasuke started to reconsider about the gift he chose. Everyone was silent and waited for what would happen next.
"I mother fucking love M and Ms! They have Ms on them!" Minato told the boy. "You pass."
"..." Sasuke was pale and walked off thanking him self that he didn't grab the Skittles.
"Next!" Minato ordered. Sai walked up and handed the man a folded pair of pants. Minato unfolded them and looked at them. Kakashi looked up and went wide-eyed.
"Those are mine!" Kakashi ripped them out of his lovers hands.
"Three found love. Just five more to go." Minato winked.
"I also have this." Sai handed Minato a pair of baby shoes and a baby shirt that had pink polka dots on them. Minato looked at the baby outfit.
"Baby clothes?" Minato asked in confusion, but then snapped. "Kakashi...are you...pregnant?"
"...I...w-what?" Kakashi asked in awe.
"Are you?" Minato asked again.
"NO! I'm a male!" Kakashi told his love.
"...I think you're lying to me." Minato told his lover.
"Minato... Are you fucking kidding me?" Kakashi sighed.
"We'll talk about this later." Minato sat down his gift. "Next."
Sakura walked up and handed the man a package. Minato ripped it up and pulled out a pair of pink boxers that said "Warning. Choking Hazard. Small Parts." on them. Kakashi swallowed down a laugh and Minato went wide-eyed.
"Love them! You pass!" Minato gave a double thumbs up. "Next!"
"I think you'll like it..." Itachi handed the man a book that said "Cooking For Dummies" with two blue and pink matching aprons.
"Thanks Itachi! I need to learn more about food. So does Kakashi here." Minato poked his lover.
"I'm pissed with you at the moment Minato." Kakashi grumbled.
"I love it when you're angry. It makes sex better." Minato winked.
"...Minato..." Kakashi sighed and went back to his book.
"Next!" Minato demanded.
"Ummm... Here you go! Enjoy!" Kiba said nervously and shoved the box of Teddy Grams, dog collar, and a leash towards the man.
"Ooooo! We can use these in foreplay Kakashi!" Minato showed his lover, but Kakashi just rolled his eyes.
"Don't give me that. You know you love to play the bitch." Minato smirked.
"M-Minato!" Kakashi shouted.
"I know waaaaay too much about my teacher and dad..." Naruto groan.
"I think we all do..." Jiraiya grumbled.
"You pass Kiba! Next!" Minato ordered once again. Jiraiya walked up with a wide smile and handed his student a big pink box with a hot pink bow on top. Minato gave his teacher a blank look.
"Open it!" Jiraiya ordered. Minato ripped it open and smiled.
"How did you know?" Minato asked as he pulled out a pink dildo, a new pair of fuzzy handcuffs, and edible underwear.
"Oh, wow." Kiba mumbled under his breath.
"Congratulations everyone! You all pass. However, there is something I need to tell you all." Minato announced to the ninjas.
"That you and Kakashi are gay?" Naruto asked. "Cause we already know that."
"No. Kakashi and I are going out to a sex hotel tonight."
"Minato! Why must you tell everyone?" Kakashi growled.
"We won't be home tonight, so be good. Itachi is in charge of things." Minato told everyone. "We leave in ten minutes Kakashi." Minato said and disappeared up stairs.
"Why does he get to be in charge of things?" The pervert complained to the silver prince.
"Cause I know he won't be calling over strippers and getting drunk." Kakashi told the man and left for the stairs.
"I wasn't going to get drunk...tonight." Jiraiya mumbled to him self. Everyone was giggling at the pervert and making fun of him cause he wouldn't grow up, but right in the middle of this came a loud banging noise.
"What the hell was that?" Kiba asked looking around the room.
"Probably the lovers getting it on. They just couldn't wait for tonight..." Sighed the pervert.
"You guys are hopeless." Sakura walked over to the door and pulled it open. There on the front step was a girl with long, blond, curly hair with a pink bow in it. She had on pink lipstick and fake eyelashes with heavy eyeshadow. She was wearing a pale pink dress and shoes that had white frilly lace on it.
"Oooh... She's cute!" Jiraiya licked his lips.
"You're fucking creepy." Kiba said and side-stepped away from the fantasizing old man.
"H-hello. May I stay here for a little while?" The girl asked.
"Um. We really don't know who you are." Sakura said nervously.
"May I come in to tell you something then?" The girl asked as she looked around.
"Sure." Sakura widened the door and the girl walked in.
"Ok, so who the hell are you?" Kiba asked.
"Arf, arf!" Akamaru followed his master.
"Don't tell anyone. It's a secrete." The girl whispered.
"I know a secrete that I'll share with you gorgeous. Hehe." The pervert smirked.
"Stop being such a creepy old pervert!" Naruto shouted.
"Hey! Those are fighting words boy." Jiraiya glared at the boy.
"No fighting in my house!" Kakashi ordered as he dragged a bag down the stairs.
"Yea, we do kinda need this house to sleep in and have sex in." Minato added on.
"Why is there another person in my house without my permission?" Kakashi asked with a sigh and glare.
"Another person? Where?" Minato asked as he entered the room with a duffel bag over his shoulder.
"It's a girl too." Jiraiya licked his lips like a hungry lion ready to pounce on a baby zebra.
"A girl?!" Minato screamed. "And she's prettier then Sakura!" Sakura gave the man the death stare, but Minato ignored it.
"Minato..." Kakashi groaned. "Let's just go already."
"Let's wast no time then Kakashi my love!" Minato picked up Kakashi and threw him over his shoulder.
"Minato! Put me down!" The prince ordered.
"No can do love! Ok kids, have a great time and don't get into trouble." Minato picked up his lovers bag and walked out the door.
"Don't destroy my house!" Kakashi shouted.
"Well! Lovers are gone. Who wants booz?" The pervert asked.
"I'll make dinner." Itachi walked off towards the kitchen.
"I'll help!" Sakura tagged along.
"Me too!" The blond girl tagged along as well.
"Who wants to play Uno?!" Jiraiya asked.
"I do!" Sai smirked.
"Everyone gather around the table!" Jiraiya ordered the boys.
About thirty minuets later the dinner was done and all the boys in the room were now girls.
"Damn it Sai! I swear you lose on purpose to turn into a girl!" A female Naruto shouted.
"Maybe." A girl Sai batted her eyes.
"I love this game!" Jiraiya had a wide smirk on his face.
"Dinner's done boys!" The blond girl called.
"Food!" Naruto, Kiba, and Sai shoved each other as they ran into the kitchen. The boys who were still girls sat down at the table, ready to dig in.
"What the hell?! Why are you guys girls?!" Sakura ordered.
"Uno." The pervert told Sakura as he sat down.
"Well this is something." Itachi mumbled as he sat down at the table.
"How am I going to eat with my huge tits in the way?" Naruto asked.
"Adapt boy! I want to eat my dinner and look at all the wonderful jugs around me." Jiraiya smirked.
"Chang back into boys already!" Sakura ordered.
"You're just jealous of us cause we're sexier then you. Right boys?" Naruto told the girl.
"Bad call Naruto." Kiba told the blond pigged tailed girl.
"What do you me-"
WHAM!
"GO TO HELL, YOU BITCH!" Sakura shouted as she roundhouse kicked Naruto in the face. Naruto went flying out the glass door as it shattered and into the back yard.
"That's one door down. Haha!" Jiraiya laughed.
"Oh my. Kakashi won't be happy about that." Itachi mumbled as he took another sip of his tomato soup dinner.
"My, what a violent girl you are." The blond spoke up.
"You haven't seen anything yet. Stick around for when she hits her period. Whooo boy! Things get bloody and I'm not talking about her vagina." The pervert told the girl.
"Oh dear! That's horrible." The girl said in a worried tone.
"Jiraiya! Do you wanna be next?!" Sakura shouted.
"Girls bleed from their vagina?" Sai asked.
"Yes they do. Want me to tell you about it?" Itachi asked the boy.
"Itachi! Don't you dare." Sasuke glared at his brother.
"I don't want to hear this shit!" Kiba grabbed his food and ran into the living room.
"Don't tell me you're a vagina expert..." Jiraiya mumbled.
"I have read many books about female parts. Specially that part." Itachi told the pervert.
"Oooooo! Do tell!" Jiraiya smirked.
"I'm eating in the living room." Sakura picked up her plate and left.
"Same here." Sasuka announced and left.
"I want to know about this...vagina as well." Sai told the man.
"Ok, but I have to warn you. It's a long story and the vagina is very complicated to understand." Itachi warned the boys.
"I think I'll eat in the living room as well." The blond girl announced and left the table.
"Ok, story time Itachi!" Jiraiya told the man.
"Well...it all started back in the day..." Itachi started the story as the two boys hanged on every word that Itachi spoke.
In the other room the kids were trying to find out who this pretty perfect girl was.
"Soooo, what did you say your name was?" Sakura asked.
"I didn't say it." The blond smiled.
"Then what is it?" Kiba asked as he flicked off a piece of chicken for Akamaru.
"Crystal. I know it's simple, but it's cute!" Crystal smirked and batted her long fake eyelashes.
"You are adorable!" Kiba told the girl. "But dogs are way more cuter. Right Akamaru?" Kiba asked his furry partner and got a sloppy lick on the cheek in return. The kids talked for a while, getting to know Crystal better. Till they were interrupted.
"Hey! You kids get to bed!" Jiraiya shouted from the other room.
"Bite me!" Kiba shouted.
"It's twelve in the morning! Get your ass up stairs before I beat it!" The pervert ordered. The kids sighed and left for bed.
"You can sleep on my side of the room Crystal." Sakura told the blond beauty as they went up stairs.
"You too Sai." The pervert told the boy and he listened.
"Good night." Sai said in a flat tone.
"Time to break out the good stuff." Jiraiya pulled out a bottle of saké.
"That looks swell. Pour me a cup." Itachi told his friend.
"Hehe. I knew you would want a part of this."
"Uhhh... How long have I been out?" Naruto asked as he entered the house.
"Finally up I see. You got hit pretty hard there boy." The pervert poured two cups of saké.
"Yea..." Naruto groan as he rubbed his head.
"If I was you, I would stop pissing her off." Itachi told the boy as he took a sip of his sake.
"Yea...maybe. Goodnight." Naruto mumbled under his breath.
"Kids." Itachi sighed.
"I know." Jiraiya agreed. "Ok, let's get drunk!" They cheered and had the rest of the bottle.
Soon the sun was rising and Kiba was the first to rise.
"Grrr." Akamaru growled and pulled the covers off of his master.
"Go back to bed boy... Too early." Kiba moaned.
"Arf! Arf!"
"Shut your fucking dog up Kiba!" Sakura shouted.
"You need to go outside?" Kiba asked.
"Arf!"Akamaru leaped on Kiba.
"Uhh!" Kiba shoved the dog off. "Come on..." Kiba took the dog and left.
"Uhhhh..." Sakura was hot and sweaty. "I can't sleep..." Sakura got up from the bed to use the bathroom, but as she did she stepped on something that felt like hair. Sakura looked down and found a blond wig.
"What the hell?" Sakura picked it up and the realized it was Crystals hair. "Eww." Sakura tossed it back onto the floor.
"Wwhhat?" Crystal mumbled as she got up. "What time is it?" Sakura looked over and saw that Crystal wasn't Crystal or a girl at all.
"WAAAAAAAA!" Sakura screamed.
"Wuts gon on?" Naruto asked half asleep. Sasuka looked around with alert eyes and annoyance.
"Why can't we have a normal morning?" Sasuke groan.
"YOU PIG!" Sakura shouted.
"What's you deal!?" A guys voice came from Sakuras part of the room.
"Who was that?" Sai asked as he lifted the covers that Naruto and Sasuke was under. Sasuke glared at the boy.
"What the hell Sai!" Naruto shouted. Sasuke kicked the boy in the chest and sent him flying through the bedroom door and into the empty hallway.
"How rude..." Sai told himself.
"Why you little..." Sakura roundhouse kicked the poor boy in the side and sent him flying into the hallway right into Sai who was just getting up.
"Oohf!" Sai grunted as he landed back on the floor with a bruised Neji in his lap. "Oh my!" Sai blushed.
"Why was Neji in here?" Naruto asked Sakura.
"Cause he's a creep that likes to dress up as a girl." Sakura huffed then glared at the boy. "What the hell are you doing with my Sasuke?!"
"He's mine you pink haired bitch!" Naruto shouted.
"Stop yelling." Sasuke ordered his love as he pulled Naruto closer to his naked body.
"Sasuke, don't urge this!" Sakura shouted.
"Sakura! We need our time alone. Leave." Sasuke ordered.
"You...you...JERKS!" Sakura turned red with anger and left as she slammed the door close.
"I am so done sharing a room with everyone..." Sasuke sighed with frustration.
"How about we use Kakashi and Minatos room?" Naruto smirked. Sasuke glared at the boy.
"That would get us in deep shit... Lets do it." Sasuke got up and Naruto followed his lover. The hallway was clear and they dashed across the hall into the lovers room. Naruto locked the door behind them and took a look around the messy room.
"They sure have a big bed." Sasuke plopped down on the memory foam bed. "They like to spend a lot on their sex addiction..." Sasuke mumbled to himself.
"I say so...look at all their toys!" Naruto pulled out a box full of lube, vibrators, cosplay, whips, and other naughty novelties. Sasukes eyes went wide.
"Holy shit..." Sasuke mumbled. "Put it way before we catch something."
"I never knew that Kakashi was the type for this kind of thing, heehee!" Naruto snickered. Sasuke got up and wrapped his lusty arms around his man and kissed Narutos neck passionately.
"Sasuke..." Naruto mumbled his man's name.
"Shh. Don't ruin this moment..." Sasuke whispered in his lovers ear. "Now lets take this to the bed."
Down stairs Sakura was making breakfast for everyone. Sai and Neji were at the table sitting quietly. Itachi and Jiraiya were in the living room passed out from drinking last night.
"So how's dressing as a girl go for you?" Sai asked.
"SAI!" Sakura roared.
"I get hit on a lot by creepy old guys." Neji told the boy.
"Do you flirt back?"
"No, not really... One guy did come up to me with a fifty dollar bill and ask me what he could get." Neji told the two, who were mortified.
"That's...nasty..." Sakura told the boy and poured the pancake mix into the pan.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"What the hell is the?" Neji asked as he looked up towards the ceiling.
"The lovers are gone and their bed is still making sex noises... How strange." Sai told him self.
"Oh my God." Sakura went wide-eyed. "I'll be right back!" Sakura dashed up stairs.
"Ummm... What the fuck is going on?" Neji asked.
"I'm not sure. Naruto and Sasuke were the only ones who were up there, so I... ." Sai dashed up stairs to stop the noise of love.
BANG, BANG, BANG!
"Open the fucking door! Now." Sakura ordered.
"Shit." Sasuke sighed. "I had a feeling they would find out."
"Great. Now Sakura is going to throw me down the stairs..." Naruto sighed heavily.
"We'll finish this up later." Sasuke promised his lover. "I'll distract her and you leave out the window."
"Got it!" Naruto slipped on his boxers and jumped out the window. Sasuke prepared himself and opened the door. An angry Sakura pushed her lover to the side and looked around the room.
"Where is he?!" Sakura demanded.
"He's not here." Sasuke told the girl. Sai glared daggers at the boy.
"You soiled our love. I should kill you for that." Sai told the boy.
"Sai, I swear I'll punch you in the balls." Sasuke promised.
Down stairs Naruto entered through the broken back door.
"Hello." Neji spoke up. Naruto looked at the boy.
"Hey Neji! I never thought you would be such a good cross dresser!" Naruto told the boy as he poured the dry ramen into a bowl.
"It took awhile to perfect it, but finally I got it down." Neji told the boy. "About six years. I just can't get the hip swinging thing down yet."
"I think you do a great job! I thought you were a real girl." Naruto told the boy as he placed a fork in the bowl. "Better than Sakura anyways." Naruto chuckled. "What about your dad?" Naruto asked as he placed the ramen in the microwave and turned it on.
"He didn't take it lightly. I got kicked out of the house and family a couple of times, but soon Hinata let me stay at her place till I get back on my feet." Neji looked over at the smoking microwave. "Umm, Naruto."
"Yea?" Naruto asked.
"The microwave." Neji pointed as it caught fire.
"What?" Naruto turned around. "WHOA!" Naruto shouted. The flames got higher and caught the stove on fire and started to spread through the kitchen.
"Get out! The flames are to high!" Neji shouted as the fire grew and took more of the kitchen.
"What the hell is that smell?" The pervert walked in. "SHIT!"
"What the hell happened?" Sakura asked in awe as she was shoved out of the stairway.
"Come on! Move it! We got to get out of here!" Jiraiya ordered the kids. "Where's Kiba and the mutt?!"
"Their already out!" Sasuke answered and left the house. Everyone was outside on the front lawn watching the house burn to ashes. The fire department came and fought the fire, but sadly they only saved half of the house. The other half was in ashes. Half the house was gone in half a day, but everyone was scared what Kakashi would have to say...or what he might do to them.
As the group of ninjas welcomed Kiba back they saw two silhouette heading their way. And they knew who exactly they were.
"I'm in so much trouble..." Itachi mumbled.
"I think we all are." Jiraiya sighed.
That's all for now. I have no idea when the next one will be up. Thanks guys, hope you have a great 4th and 7th July!