Chapter Fourteen

Breezepaw looked down at his paws shamefully as he thought of the way he'd acted today. He'd nearly scared the fur off of Hazelpaw in the process. And now everyone probably hated him for his attitude. Yet he couldn't help but act the way he was. It was as if leaving the lake had changed him entirely.

Now the small group was traveling as morning arrived. Their night had been more than awkward as Breezepaw slept alone. He wasn't surprised to find himself in this position. Fadepaw had offered a place to sleep next to her, but Nightpaw had shooed him away with a hostile glare.

"Careful, the rocks up here are loose." Blazepaw's meow made him look up. They were climbing the base of the mountain. Breezepaw never expected to find himself doing such a thing. But here he was, with the other apprentices as they struggled to get away from the lake.

He wondered if the Clans were even looking for them. Knowing WindClan they probably were. There were a few cats in WindClan who were more than willing to pick off the apprentices, Harefoot being one of them. Breezepaw couldn't help but wince as he thought of how badly Harefoot had treated his own daughter.

Would things be any different if her mother was still alive? Breezepaw shook his head doubtfully. He didn't even notice that he was headed straight for a rock until bumping into one. Otterpaw looked like she was ready to mrrow with laughter when she thought better of it.

"I wonder if this is what the Great Journey was like?" Fadepaw suddenly asked. Breezepaw snorted in amusement at her bold question. He doubted the cats on the Great Journey fought as much as this group did. Then again he was the one causing most of the fighting.

"The Clans were still divided at the time," Nightpaw told her. "I doubt they were getting along." Fadepaw looked like she was ready to argue when Poppypaw intervened this time.

"But they had to get along in order to survive," she retorted. "How do you think they reached the lake? By going into separate groups?" Breezepaw had to admit, she did have a good point. The Clans would not have survived had they banded together.

And maybe that's what we need to do, he realized. He hadn't given the idea much thought until now. Maybe that was why StarClan had given them a second chance. It was time they learned to get alone with one another. That way they could make it back to the Clans one day.

He bounded after the apprentices as they started padding away. It was obvious they didn't care whether or not he was left behind. But that wasn't going to stop him from racing ahead. Falling behind was something that he wasn't known for.

"Hey Breezepaw, you're falling behind!" As if on cue, Otterpaw's yowl made him look up in annoyance. Breezepaw resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he bounded ahead, passing Poppypaw along the way. "What are you thinking about?" she asked in a carefree tone. Breezepaw looked at her in confusion until realizing that she was asking him, not someone else.

"Nothing," he grumbled.

"Oh come on, I saw the way you kept staring at that bush," she insisted with a roll of her eyes. Breezepaw found himself getting more annoyed than ever by this cat. Otterpaw's spunky attitude wasn't something he was used to. "You're thinking about the Clans, aren't you?"

"Look, I'd rather not talk about it," he muttered.

"Come on, you can talk about it," Otterpaw reassured him. Breezepaw suddenly shot her a cold look that made Otterpaw stop in her tracks.

"Do you think this is some kind of game?" he suddenly demanded. Otterpaw's ears flattened as he continued his rant, "We're outcasts now! The Clans don't want anything to do with us! All because we had to be born at the same time!"

He hadn't even realized how much anger he felt until his fur stood on end. Finally he felt someone touch him gently on the shoulder with their tail. Breezepaw whipped around, only to see Hazelpaw staring at him in concern. Hazelpaw dipped her head apologetically to Otterpaw, whose eyes were wide with fear now. Otterpaw returned the gesture with a wave of her tail before trotting ahead to join the others.

"Don't be angry," Hazelpaw murmured. "Please. I'm tired of you always fighting with the others."

Breezepaw let his fur lay flat as his anger started to fade. He didn't know how Hazelpaw was able to do it. But she had managed to calm him down enough to make him realize just how much of a foxheart he had been lately.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I understand why you are so angry," she told him as they continued following the group. "I shouldn't have fled the way I did." Her voice suddenly became bitter, and Breezepaw recoiled in shock.

She blames herself for all of this! he realized. He wished there was something he could say to comfort her. But Hazelpaw had always felt like an outcast. And he doubted that any words of comfort would help her now. What she needed more than anything was a friend to be there for her. And he suddenly realized that he wasn't that type of friend.

...

Hazelpaw kept her head low as the group traveled across the rocky terrain. If she could she would have used her power again to make this journey easier. But the last time she had used it, she nearly passed out from exhaustion. She never realized how much her ability drained her until using it the way she did.

Seeing the mountain now, she knew that the Clans would never go this far to search for them. Hear the seven apprentices would be safe from the pain the Clans might inflict on them. Yet Hazelpaw was still doubtful they were completely safe. She knew there would be dangers here as well.

The air up here was much colder than she expected. She found herself shivering as she tried to keep up with the group. To her relief and surprise, Breezepaw stayed by her side. After their little conversation earlier, he seemed more than eager to spend his time with her. She didn't even realize how grateful she was for his company until now.

"This seems like a good place to stop and rest for the night," Nightpaw meowed when they reached a large clearing.

It was void of any trees. Hazelpaw was perfectly fine with that when she spotted what looked like an old cave. Rocks and hardy looking plants surrounded them as they headed for the cave. This place wasn't entirely inviting. But that might be a good thing as well. It meant predators weren't likely to be here either.

"Nightpaw, would you like to go hunting with me? We might be able to find something here," Blazepaw suddenly suggested. Nightpaw's eyes gleamed with excitement before he nodded in agreement. Those two were getting along well.

Hazelpaw almost wished she could say the same for everyone else. Breezepaw didn't seem to get along with anyone other than her. And she knew he just felt responsible for her. She didn't think anything of it as she curled up inside the cave.

Most cats would avoid her at all costs back in WindClan. Harefoot had made certain of that. He made it seem like she was the reason behind her mother's death. And she was starting to believe that he was right. After all her mother might still be alive if she had never been born.

"Are you okay?" She flinched when Poppypaw looked at her warily. "You seem more down than usual, and that's saying something." Hazelpaw snorted and rolled her eyes at the remark.

"I'm perfectly fine," she muttered.

Inside her mind was screaming to say everything. That not everything was okay. Hazelpaw kept her mouth clamped shut stubbornly as she refused to speak. Poppypaw eyed her suspiciously, but she didn't bother saying anything again.

"We used to play mossball every night before the patrols left," Fadepaw sighed as she sat up. "Father would join us in our game, and he'd pretend that we beat him." Hazelpaw looked at the other apprentice longingly. She felt a small pang of jealousy as she thought of what her life would be like if she had a caring father.

"Yeah, I know the feeling," Otterpaw murmured, sinking into the ground as exhaustion crept over. "I could still remember how annoyed my brother was when I splashed water all over him. He would cover my nest in sand and get yelled at for it." Fadepaw smirked in amusement.

"Would you all quit bragging about how great your lives were?" Breezepaw suddenly snapped.

Again Hazelpaw flinched. She hated how he stuck up for her all the time. It made her feel weak and useless. Though in reality she truly was just a pathetic excuse for a cat. If she were truly a fighter than maybe her father would have accepted her.

"Oh… sorry," Fadepaw murmured when she realized how hurtful she was being.

"Don't be," Hazelpaw suddenly muttered crossly. "You're lucky to have caring fathers, and mothers."

Both Otterpaw and Fadepaw flinched at that statement. Before either of them could apologize, Hazelpaw suddenly ran out of the cave. She didn't care how tired she was, or the fact that Breezepaw was yowling at her. She just wanted to get away while she could.

She didn't stop running until her paws couldn't take it anymore. By than she had reached the farthest point of the mountain. Here there were grassy fields and small tough looking trees that grew around the area. Hazelpaw flinched when she realized just how far she had wandered.

I don't care anymore, she thought bitterly. I just want this to end now.

She stared down the cliffs ledge, noticing how welcoming it seemed now. If she jumped now no cat would notice. Maybe Breezepaw would miss her. But he would get over it eventually. She looked over her shoulder one last time before making a decision.

"Hazelpaw?" Her heart nearly skipped a beat when she heard Blazepaw's surprised meow. She whipped around to glare at him, but her gaze softened when she saw how concerned he was. "What are you doing so close to the ledge?" His tone was accusing, but Hazelpaw didn't flinch this time. Instead she raised her chin and stared at him defiantly.

"I'm tired of living with the torment that I do," she explained, glaring at the cliff once more as she tore her gaze away from him. "I know what I did, and what I could have done. I'm… useless."

She closed her eyes once more and was ready to leap. Blazepaw wasted no time in catching up with her before she could. Hazelpaw let out a hiss of frustration when she realized that he had caught her. She flailed out her paws until Blazepaw dragged her far enough away from the cliff.

"Let me go! I don't deserve to keep going!" she spat out the words, and Blazepaw only stared at her like she was insane.

"How can you say that?" he asked in a low voice. Again Hazelpaw flinched, realizing she had said too much.

"Because, this is all my fault," she whispered, dropping her fierce gaze. Blazepaw looked at her sympathetically. She didn't want any of it. She was tired of cats looking at her that way. All she wanted was for cats to see her for who she really was.

"What's all your fault?" Blazepaw tilted his head to one side curiously.

"This, our journey…. Everything…. All of this is my fault." She wrapped her tail around her paws, suddenly feeling smaller than ever. Everything Harefoot had blamed her for was true. She understood that now.

"You know that isn't true," Blazepaw murmured. He turned slightly to the left, and Hazelpaw followed his gaze. To her surprise Breezepaw was standing there, gaping at the two of them in disbelief.

"What's going on here?" he demanded, practically shoving Blazepaw aside when he joined them heartbeats later.

"Nothing that concerns you," snapped Blazepaw as he got back to his paws.

"Please, stop fighting." Hazelpaw flattened her ears as she realized where this was headed. The last thing she needed was another argument. Especially between these two toms. "I came here because I thought I could end it all," she added to Breezepaw, keeping her voice from wavering.

For a moment Breezepaw was taken aback by her news. Hazelpaw just stared at him as if nothing was wrong. In truth she wished Blazepaw hadn't even shown up. Now Breezepaw would never let her leave his side. Not without having someone constantly watch her.

"Hazelpaw, I'm sorry," Breezepaw murmured. Hazelpaw ducked her head in embarrassment when she noticed the look Blazepaw gave them both.

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry." Hazelpaw suddenly got to her paws, deciding to return to the cave. There wasn't any point in continuing this conversation. Not if she had a feeling it was headed where she thought it was headed.

Fear wormed its way into her belly as she returned to the cave. What if there was no escaping the inevitable? The Clans at the lake hated her. And soon it wouldn't be long until the apprentices hated her as well. She knew that she couldn't take much more of this fighting. She just wished that once StarClan would let her end the suffering before it got any worse.

AN: I totally got the characters all mixed up D: I'll fix it the next round though, I promise! But this chapter was a but intense... there wasn't any fighting, but... I recommend listening to In My Arms by Plumb. This song seems to fit Hazelpaw almost perfectly... very pretty and sad song. Also, thanks everyone for your wonderful feedback! You guys are awesome ;)

tawnyclaw - It's okay, I know the feeling. I'm just glad that you're enjoying it :)

Blue1272000 - XD He is isn't he? And what is this patience you speak of? I have never heard of it :P

Silverbird22 - No problem! Glad I could help. He is a lovable idiot. And just needs a hug :) But he'd probably claw your eyes out if you tried XD I may do a Clan POV when I write the next allegiance. Which will likely be posted the next few chapters.

Nightfrost-of-ShadowClan - I love them too... than again I actually love all of my characters... I almost hate for anything to happen to them... almost :P

Nova-Lioness - I'm not sure. They might do that. But than again they are still loyal to the Clans, even if they did threaten them... Good question.

boscyboo - Awe *tries not to blush* thank you! I appreciate the feedback, and I'm glad that I make your day :) I love helping people when I can!