DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, who isn't me. The only profit I get from this is personal satisfaction.
Day of Tricks
Almost three months had passed and George had received no answer to the message on his parchment. Of course, Fred and Young George were hardly likely to be touching anything that belonged to the Saintlike One, but George had hoped that his apology would reach them sooner or later. Since "later" was starting to look a lot like "never," he'd have to give them a reason.
Well, it would be their birthday soon. If George gave the young twins a present that would also be a present for himself, everyone could be happy.
April Fool's Day was the only day that Fred and George would actually pull a prank on one another. Fred didn't know what had started that tradition, but he and George weren't about to stop just because they were turning twelve. As far as Fred was concerned, they'd still be doing it when they were a hundred and twelve.
For once, Fred and George were sleeping in their proper respective dormitories. Any traps set could be found and deactivated before midnight of April 1st, but anything that went off after then was fair game. This year, they added the rule that the Marauder's Map was off-limits and it had thus been entrusted to Lee with the instruction that he was in no way allowed to give the Map to either of them.
So, naturally, Fred's plan was to get out of whatever traps George had placed in the Gryffindor dormitory and get Lee to divulge the location of the Map. He would have had the advantage were it not for the fact that Lee had decided to sleep outside Gryffindor Tower when he learned about the chaos that was about to ensue.
Once midnight arrived, Fred was immediately showered in confetti. That was an old one, so old that it was only done because it was tradition. Fred hopped out of bed and felt something squishy underfoot. Fred rubbed whatever it was on the blanket of his bed and carefully made his way out of Gryffindor Tower, dodging about half a dozen traps in the process.
As soon as Fred went through the portrait of the Fat Lady, a piece of parchment fell out of nowhere into his hands. The writing on it was curly and faded in and out depending on how he held it, like it wasn't entirely there. Fred adjusted it in his hands to make it legible and began to read.
Good Morning, Future Starter!
I'm the Ghost of Trickster's Future. You are the first person to leave the safety of your dormitory on this Day of Tricks and this means you are eligible for a fabulous prize! What is that prize, you might ask? Well, it's a sur-prize. Ha-ha!
If you want your sur-prize, please complete the challenge outlined on this piece of parchment. If you are boring and have boring things to do, go ahead with your boring plans and return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better suited for pranking. If, however, you want to prove you are the greatest prankster in the castle, I can help you with that.
Here is a list of tasks that need not be done in this order (however, you should note that some have specific deadlines and once the window of opportunity is gone, it's gone):
1. If this is before or after hours, please hide from any patrolling teachers or prefects. I know this is obvious, but if it wasn't to you, please start banging your head against the nearest wall until your brain is jolted back into common sense.
2. First, acquire the disgusting potion that is currently sitting inside the third-floor corridor. If you acquire this potion before breakfast, convince the House-elves to use it to spike the morning pumpkin juice of the House you like least. I'd recommend putting a bit of your own hair or nail clippings into the potion first to add flavor.
3. A bag of confiscated custard creams are currently hiding in the caretaker's office. Have an accomplice hand these out to people you like but wouldn't mind seeing looking kind of funny.
4. Levitate at least fifty things out of various people's hands during lunch without letting them know it was you doing it.
5. Hit your least favorite professor with the Jelly-Legs Jinx when they stand up and Mimble Wimble when they start talking.
6. Find all twenty rubber chickens dancing around the castle and tap them with your wand.
7. Decorate the Quidditch pitch in the manner of your choosing.
8. Get out of class for a fake illness. If you have trouble with this one, the orange and purple candies lying about are your best bet.
9. Convince at least two Hogwarts ghosts (not me—I'm busy today) and fifteen students to play tag.
10. Pull at least ten pranks of your choosing on your rival. If you do not have a rival, Peeves is an acceptable substitute.
Your time starts now and ends at midnight or whenever you complete all of these tasks (whichever comes first). Finishing early may entitle you to a bonus sur-prize.
Oh, and I am not liable for any injuries, punishments, or trace amounts of time travel that you may experience today. Have fun!
Fred was conflicted: should he take this opportunity or should he just go on with his plans to prank George? Well, he supposed that the Ghost's challenge could supplement Fred's pranks at the very least—it never said he had to finish everything on the list, after all. If Fred considered George his rival for the day, number 10 would be a cakewalk.
After a few hours of sneaking about the castle and not finding Lee or George anywhere, Fred decided to humor the Ghost of Trickster's Future and actively try to hit some of the things on the list. The third-floor corridor was set up as an obstacle course with a creepy three-headed dog puppet that would snap its wooden teeth at him if he was too slow and a three-dimensional chessboard with the king holding the potion. Fortunately Fred didn't actually have to play chess to acquire the potion that really did smell something awful. He plucked a couple hairs from his head and placed them in the potion. It looked slightly better, but Fred definitely wasn't going to drink it himself. He left it with one of the House-elves in the kitchen who had taken a liking to him and agreed to do as Fred instructed.
The Slytherins wouldn't know what hit them.
Lee hid from the twins. He just knew that they would be coming after him sooner or later. He only entered the Great Hall to grab something for breakfast and then get out of there as quickly as possible. He kept looking in every direction and ducked when he saw a bunch of red hair over by the Slytherin table. There were definitely more than two Weasley twins having breakfast over there. He saw a tired Slytherin sit down at the table and take a sip of pumpkin juice to the various redheads' protests and that Slytherin too changed into a Weasley twin. Pumpkin juice. Why is it always pumpkin juice?
Lee was suddenly struck with inspiration: he could try the Slytherins' pumpkin juice too and get lost in the sea of Weasleys so that the real Fred and George didn't know who to sneak up on to find the Marauder's Map. Lee casually, but quickly, walked by the Slytherin table, took a cup of pumpkin juice and, after taking a sip, slipped the drink into his pocket. There was a funny aftertaste that stuck to his tongue and he felt his skin bubble up and contort. He ran his fingers through his hair and found it had become straight and smooth. A quick trip to the bathroom to look in the mirror confirmed it.
Lee was now a Weasley.
Fred was a bit late for breakfast—he'd been chasing one of the dancing rubber chickens for almost fifteen minutes before he managed to tap it with his wand. What he found there was not what he expected: the Weasley twins had become the Weasley legion.
Fred tried to find George among all of the duplicates, but it was hard and he wasn't even sure if George was even at breakfast or not. Fred couldn't exactly use the "that twin has a mole or a freckle" trick because one of the first bits of accidental magic Fred and George had produced was to make every spot on their bodies match up and that particular bit of magic was likely to only stop working when one of them died.
Eventually, Fred settled on approaching someone who he was pretty sure was his real twin, if his facial expressions were any indication. "Any idea where the Map is?" he asked.
"Hey, no cheating," the George replied. Unless Lee had decided to impersonate George and he was better at it than Fred thought, this George was the real deal.
"I got a challenge from the Ghost of Trickster's Future," Fred said. "It's taking up my actual pranking time, so I'll take any advantage I can get. Unless, of course, you want to help with the challenge?"
"You really don't expect me to fall for that, do you?" George deadpanned.
"Nothing to fall for," Fred said as he showed George the parchment. George was careful to not touch the parchment as he read the various tasks.
"Orange and purple candy? There was a passageway by the dungeons that was full of them," George said as he pulled out a handful of sweets from his pocket. "I thought you were going to use them for something, though I had no idea what, so I was going to slip some to the Slytherins and watch what happened. But if you want to try one..."
"Only if you have one too," Fred replied.
They each took a purple chew and on the count of three, they ate it. Nothing happened.
"That was anti-climactic," George said. "Maybe we're supposed to try the orange one first."
Once again, they each counted to three before eating the orange chew this time, and both promptly threw up. George put another purple one in his mouth and stopped puking, but Fred kept going.
"Give—" Fred puked, "—me—" he puked again, "—one-of-those-right—" he puked and coughed up some more, "—now!"
George waited one more hurl before giving the purple candy to Fred. "I hope we can keep these after April Fool's Day. They could come in handy."
By the end of the day, Fred and George barely managed to finish the list. It was the stupid dancing rubber chickens that took up most of the time, but they finally got them all.
"That was awesome," George said. "I hope this happens every year."
"It's Hogwarts—of course it has a ghost who only comes out to pull pranks on April Fool's Day," Fred replied. "And when we got all the Gryffindors to turn into canaries—classic!"
"Did you ever manage to find Lee?" George asked. "I know I haven't seen him all day."
"I haven't either. Do you think that Lee might have done all this to protect himself?"
"It's a little out of his league, I think. Merlin, it's out of the Saintlike One's league. The Ghost of Trickster's Future is real—that's all there is to it."
They heard a voice down the corridor. It was screaming. "I can't believe that rubber chickens will actually be the death of me!" The person rounded the corner. They looked like a Weasley twin. "Fred, George, please stop those things!" he cried out as he hid behind the two boys, though for some odd reason, no rubber chickens followed him.
"Who are you?" Fred asked.
"It's Lee, who did you think?" the new guy said.
"So, can you tell us what you did with the Map?"
"Fine! It's under Tom Marvolo Riddle's award in the Trophy Room! Now call off the chickens! They've been chasing me all day!"
"Um, chickens stop?" Fred asked. Well, chickens still didn't appear, so maybe it worked.
George, for his part, started running for the Trophy Room and Fred quickly went after him. They entered the room and found, next to Riddle's award and the Marauder's Map, a cake with twelve burned out candle stubs and the words Happy Birthday! From the Saintlike One (please read my parchment message!) written on it with frosting.
"Oh. The Saintlike One sent us a cake," George said. "What are we supposed to do with it?"
"Let's stay on the safe side and get rid of it," Fred said. He called up a House-elf so he wouldn't have to have him or George touch it.
"Did Master Weasley and Master Weasley enjoy the cake?" the elf asked as he arrived. Then the elf eyed the untouched cake and frowned. "It's a very good cake—it took five of us elves to make it for you. We got a note that said what kind to make and what to write on it and where to leave it and everything!"
"Does the cake have anything magical in it?" Fred asked.
"Definitely not, Master Weasley! Nothing but normal food and House-elf elbow grease is in this cake!"
"Well," George said to the House-elf kindly, "it's not like we want to waste a whole cake. We just wanted to check because it was baked on April 1st."
"Ah, yes, Master Weasley," the elf nodded knowingly. "Do you need anything else?"
"That's it," Fred said. "Thank you."
The House-elf disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"I guess we should eat this cake, huh?" George asked.
"I guess we should, even if the Saintlike One is bribing us again," Fred agreed. "And I suppose we could probably read whatever he sent us—that shouldn't hurt you, at least."
"Speaking of messages, did the Ghost of Trickster's Future ever get back to you?"
"Well, the challenge showed up near the Fat Lady. Maybe we should head back to Gryffindor Tower."
When they got back to the Fat Lady's portrait, another parchment flew from above.
Congratulations! You have won your fabulous sur-prize! It is...absolutely nothing! We hope you try again next year to see if the sur-prize is different next time!
"Well, that stinks."
Aberforth looked up to see James enter the Hog's Head sometime after midnight.
"Where have you been all day?" Aberforth asked.
"It was my brother's birthday," James said as he summoned a cup and some Butterbeer. "I wanted to celebrate some traditions I had with him. It was nice."
"Just out of curiosity, when's your birthday, James?"
James took a swig of his Butterbeer before answering, "September 1st."
"Just make sure that that day is a reprise of today and not Christmas. You shouldn't be depressed on your own birthday."
James smiled. "No, I have a feeling that it will be a very good day."