The past few days had been rather stormy, with only brief spurts of sunshine being cast over the island before another cluster of clouds swooped in and covered the island in darkness, wind and rain. Short of getting water from the waterfall and extra fruit to eat, Nick and Greg were content to stay in their new home, the cave, which had actually become quite cozy now that they were much more physically familiar with one another. They kept the fire small so as not to run out of dry wood too fast. With not much else to do, they had mostly been laying around the last however many days, talking when they felt like it and cuddling in comfortable silence when they didn't. Most of their conversations lead to sex, because as Greg often joked, what else were they going to do? It wasn't like they could go out to a movie or to dinner or anything. Their physical relationship progressed rapidly, as did their emotional one because of their situation. They were with each other twenty-four hours a day, never out of each others sight per Greg's rule, and were so comfortable with each other physically and emotionally that anything was up for discussion.

Neither one of them was quite sure what day it was, or what time it was for that matter. The lack of sun cast dispersions as to the exact hour of the day, and Nick's watch had long since been discarded as the number of their physical encounters increased, seemingly by the hour. They both silently feared that they were going to burn out the flame of their new experience too quickly, but that thought soon vanished as they both realized that there was just no way they could ever get enough of one another, but they were certainly going to put that to the test.

Greg watched as Nick's eyes fluttered closed, never quite realizing before just then exactly how attractive the Texan was. Attractive wasn't even the right word, it was an understatement. The laugh lines around his mouth and eyes drew attention to his two best attributes that Greg always found himself staring at. Nick was beautiful, which Greg had never thought to use to describe a man before, but knowing Nick the way he did and now seeing him in his purest and most vulnerable form only confirmed his belief that yes, this was the most beautiful person inside and out that Greg had ever come across. He lay there in the raft watching Nick drift to sleep, the older man's head rested on his bare stomach, the slow rise and fall as he breathed rocking him to sleep. Greg's left hand was raked through Nick's dark hair while the other was tangled up in Nick's strong yet gentle hand.

Greg thought that Nick had fallen asleep, which was the reason why he chose to say what he did when he said it. "I lied to you," he said so softly that he doubted Nick would have heard him if he had been awake. Which, to Greg's surprise, he was.

He inhaled deeply and released the breath slowly, but his eyes remained closed. "About what?" he mumbled, apparently not too worried about what Greg was going to confess to.

"About never having been with another guy before," Greg whispered before he lost the nerve to tell Nick the truth.

Greg felt Nick's hand shift in his and averted his eyes to the ceiling of the cave when he saw Nick's eyes open and look up, searching for his but unable to meet them. He felt the sudden loss of heat from his stomach as Nick slowly sat up and turned so he was looking down at Greg. The younger man took solace in the fact that Nick was still holding his hand.

"Why?" Nick asked simply.

Greg swallowed hard. "I don't know. I could tell by the way you sounded when you asked me that you had never before, which is what I had figured from the beginning anyway, and I guess I just wanted to pretend I hadn't because nobody that I had been with had ever meant anything to me before. But I knew you did, so I told you I had never done this before so that it would, I don't know, be different somehow."

"I don't understand," Nick said, shaking his head slowly. "Did you think I would care that you had been with other guys before? I know you've been with plenty of women, and you know I have too, so why would I care about other guys? Did you think I would be mad?"

Greg nodded weakly. "I thought you would think I was dirty or something. That I was ruined."

"I would never think that," Nick replied. He squeezed Greg's hand in an attempt to get him to look at him, but his efforts were futile. "Nothing that you've done in the past matters to me. It would be insane if I were to ever hold anything again you given all of the shit I've done, a lot of which you know about. I wouldn't have thought any less of you, I don't think anything different now that I know."

"I just feel like I cheated you out of your virginity or something," Greg said as he sat up, but still didn't make eye contact with Nick. "I know you're not a virgin, but in our sense you are. Were. You let me do things that no one else ever did. You've been with me in more ways than you've ever been with anyone else. I've had you, and you've had me. But you gave me something I couldn't give you because I was your first. And I lied because I wish that you were my first too, I wish that you had been my only one because you're the only one that I've ever really wanted this bad."

Nick opened his mouth to argue, but Greg knew what he was going to say and beat him to refuting his argument before he could even state it. He finally looked at Nick in the eyes as he said, "It hurt when you let me fuck you, didn't it?"

Greg's choice of words made what he said sound harsher than he intended. He hadn't intended to sound harsh at all, and he could see the tone add confusion to the wide range of emotion's on Nick's face. He thought that Greg was somehow mad at him, although of course he wasn't. He was upset at himself and thought he would feel better if Nick was upset with him as well. Greg could think of no other way to express it, so it had come out bluntly and as straight forward as possible.

"Didn't it hurt?" Greg asked again when Nick didn't reply.

"Yes," Nick responded, nodding once. "But you said that I hurt you when-"

"It did," Greg said, "because it had been a while since I had been with a guy, but it didn't hurt nearly as much as I hurt you. I know exactly how much the first time hurt, and you let me do that to you, and then despite that pain you let me do it again and again because you thought that you I was feeling the same thing. But I wasn't. I lied to you. And I'm sorry."

"That's not why I let you do it," Nick answered calmly. "I let you do it because I knew you wanted to, and I trust you, and I wanted it too. I would let you do whatever you want to me, with me, whatever. I want to be with you, no matter what that entails. I'm not mad at you. I don't care who else you've been with, I just want to make you happy."

Greg felt tears slip out of his eyes and run down his cheeks. "I feel like I took advantage of you," he admitted. "I never meant to do that. I didn't mean to guilt you into doing something you didn't want to do or only did because I let you do-"

Nick silenced Greg by kissing him soundly. "You didn't take advantage of me," Nick said against Greg's lips. "I wanted everything we did, I still do. This doesn't change anything Greg. You don't have to lie to me, about anything. I'm sorry I made you feel like you had to."

Greg couldn't help but laugh. "It wasn't your fault. I know you're not shallow or anything like that, I just look at you and see this perfect person and couldn't imagine why you would ever want to be with me, so I lied to make myself look better."

"You know as well as anyone that I'm far from perfect," Nick said. "Especially now that we've had sex."

Greg raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Nick suddenly wished that he had been asleep when Greg started this whole conversation because he was afraid of uncovering notions of what he was about to bring up. "Well, I mean, I've never done most of this physical stuff before, and now knowing that you've been with guys who have I feel bad I guess."

"Bad? What do you mean?"

"Because I'm not good at it," Nick replied. Now it was he who was breaking eye contact. "So it's like you're hooking up with a virgin or something, like you said."

"I didn't meant it like that," Greg said quickly because that was definitely not what he had intended.

"It's true though. I don't blame you that you don't like it."

"That's not what I said," Greg replied. "That's not what I meant at all. I didn't tell you everything because I don't think you're good at the sexual part because believe me Nick, you are. I'm not like women, I can't fake an orgasm, nor would I want to. The fact that you want to do all of this stuff with me makes it that much hotter. It's more than just sex with you because I actually have feelings for you, there's so much more to it than just sex, be it great sex. I know I lied about some other stuff, but I would never lie to you about this?"

"Really?" Nick asked, blushing slightly at Greg's words of praise.

Greg smiled widely, revealing in how adorable Nick was when he was mildly embarrassed with that small smile of his. "Really," he replied before kissing Nick. "And to prove it to you," he continued, maneuvering their bodies skillfully so now Nick was on top of him, "you can do whatever you'd like. I'll make sure you understand just how much I enjoy it."

Greg smiled even wider when Nick smiled; one of his real, genuine smiles, the one that utilizes all of his smile lines and reaches up into his eyes to emphasize its sincerity.