It had been over two months since Nick had woken Greg up that morning after the crash. A month and a half of which the two of them had been, well, Greg wasn't quite sure what word to use to describe their current situation. They were stranded on a deserted island together, and that predicament had somehow landed them in a physical relationship that Greg had always wanted, but never thought would happen. As their physical relationship developed, their emotional bond was strengthened to a point that neither one of them thought was possible not just with each other, but with anyone else in general. They didn't have to talk much when they were awake; there were no awkward silences, no trying to impress one another. They already knew each other so well, and being stuck together all day every day was making that fact quickly known to both of them. Neither Nick nor Greg had realized just how well they had known the other man until they started seeing how effortlessly they were able to interact on a day to day basis.
Greg awoke with a jolt, half from the nightmare he had been having and half because of suddenly realizing just how cold he was. He opened his eyes, immediately seeing that Nick wasn't laying next to him. Greg felt his heart sink because he wanted nothing more than to cuddle up against the older man and fall back asleep safely at his side, but apparently that wasn't an option. He sighed as he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before standing up and leaving the raft that had become their bed and the cave that had become their home.
Not surprisingly, Greg found Nick on the beach. As he approached, Greg noted the sun sparkling off of the water droplets covering Nick's chest. He was laying down in the sand, but Greg knew he wasn't asleep because of his breathing and the fact that he was dragging his fingers through the soft sand. Greg silently came to a stop a few feet behind Nick, taking in the sight before him. The older man's hair was wet, as was the rest of his body, with patches of sand clinging to his wet skin. Greg couldn't help but realize how thin Nick was now; they both were. A diet of fruit and fish for the last two months was definitely showing its affects on their bodies, especially Nick's which had always been so muscular and toned. Greg was about to sit down in the sand next to Nick to make his presence known, but apparently Nick had already known that Greg was there.
"You don't want to get rescued, do you," Nick stated rather than asked.
Greg wished that he had spoken first. He should have scolded Nick for breaking their rule of never leaving one another sight, never mind going swimming while he had still been asleep. He should have asked him how he slept, if anything was the matter because he had woken up before Greg, which never happened. He should have taken advantage of Nick's eyes being closed and being in such a vulnerable position by straddling his waist and kissing him. But he hadn't, which forced him to have to have this conversation.
"Why do you think that?" Greg asked.
Nick shrugged. He buried his hands in the sand before slowly raising them. Greg watched as the sand fell around his fingers back onto the beach. "Because I know you," he replied.
"What does that mean?" Greg inquired. "You can tell these kinds of things just by looking at me? I'm an open book to you?"
"Yeah," Nick said with a nod. "You're happier here than you have ever been in Vegas. Even before you went out into the field, even before the explosion. You're more relaxed, you're always smiling. Not a care in the world. I liked to think that it had something to do with me, but I know it doesn't. You don't want to get rescued."
Greg sat in the sand, taking Nick's left hand in his, preventing him from playing in the sand any longer. "Yes I do, because you want to."
"Why don't you want to?" Nick asked as if Greg hadn't just spoken to the contrary.
"I just said that I do," Greg replied. "Why would I want to stay here? It was cool for a few days, nice little pretend vacation. Why wouldn't I want to get rescued?"
"I don't know," Nick said, finally opening his eyes and looking up at Greg. "That's why I asked you."
Greg let go of Nick's hand and crossed his arms against his chest. "If you know me so well, why don't you tell me? I'm an open book, right? Can't you figure it out?"
"So I'm right," Nick said with a small smile. Greg rolled his eyes. "You're scared," Nick continued, answering his own question because he knew Greg wouldn't. "This life is easier than Vegas in every way. No murders to solve, no real problems. We're smart enough to survive here for an extended period of time. It's not ideal, but the worst day here is better than the best day in Vegas."
Greg scoffed. "You sound like the one who wants to stay here."
"You haven't told me I'm wrong, which means I'm right," the Texan commented. "You'd rather be here than Vegas because emotionally, and physically, it's safer."
"You're wrong," Greg said as he stood slowly. "That's not why."
He started to walk towards the forest to go and get a drink of water, but Nick quickly stood and grabbed his arm, holding him in place. The sand on Nick's hand was rough against Greg's skin, but it was a feeling he had become accustomed to. Being from California, he had always loved the feel of sand and the smell of the sea. But right now, he was trying to get away from it because he was trying to avoid Nick and his questions.
"Then why?" Nick asked. "If you can't be honest with me, then this is never going to work."
"What is this, Nick?" Greg asked, his voice a little louder than he had intended. "Whatever this is, it's why I don't want to leave. Because if we ever get out of here, back to Vegas, whatever this is won't exist anymore. Girlfriend or no girlfriend, you won't want to have anything to do with me once we get back home. I'm surprised you're not sick of me already. I don't want to leave the island because I don't want to leave this. I don't want to leave you."
Nick shook his head slowly. "You wouldn't be leaving me at all. This isn't just sex to pass the time Greg. I care about you. A lot. More than I care about myself. I'm not going to ditch you if we make it back to Vegas. It's not like this is a summer fling that ends when we both go back to college or something."
"Which I'm sure you have plenty of experience with," Greg spat. He was scared that whatever they were doing didn't mean the same thing to Nick as it did to him, so he was acting combative to try and protect himself. He was attacking Nick in an attempt for the other man to be able to prove him wrong.
"I'm not going to ditch you," Nick repeated, ignoring Greg's hurtful comment. "I want to be with you. Here, in Vegas, California, wherever. Wherever you are, that's where I want to be. With you. I told you that before, and I'll keep telling you that. I don't know exactly what's going to happen if and when we ever get back to Vegas. It definitely won't be as easy being together there as it is here because there will be so much other shit for us to have to deal with. But if we go back to all of that, I want you to be there with me to go through whatever it is together. I won't tell you it's going to be perfect and easy because I don't know that it will. It probably won't be. But I can tell you that we'll be together as far as I'm concerned. If this ends in any capacity, it's because you want it to. I never will."
Greg threw his hands in the air. "So this entire thing is all on me?"
"That's not what I meant and you know it," Nick said. He swallowed hard and looked at Greg with something resembling caution reflecting in his brown eyes. "Do you even want to be with me?" he asked, his voice breaking slightly towards the end of his question.
Greg felt his frustration and relative anger at the situation completely melt away and become replaced with guilt and sadness. "Of course I do," he replied, cursing himself for ever having made Nick think anything differently. "I'd rather be stuck here on an island with you than have to go back to Vegas. Doesn't that hint a little at the fact that I want to be with you? Only with you?"
"You would still be with me in Vegas," Nick replied. "But you don't want to be. Why?"
Greg sighed heavily. "Don't get mad, okay?"
"Why would I get mad?"
"Because I like you better here than I do in Vegas," Greg said before he could convince himself not to say anything at all. He continued before Nick could say anything in response. "I don't hate you in Vegas or anything, don't get me wrong. I've always liked you, and it started in Vegas. But here, you're different. You said I'm different, and you are too. Our job clearly has an immense affect on you, and I never really noticed just how much it did until we got stuck here and that affect wore off. You're yourself here. You're relaxed, funnier, nicer, calmer, quieter even. I don't know how to explain it, I just know that if we ever got back to Vegas, everything would change. Our relationship started here, this is all we know together. What if it doesn't work anywhere else?"
"What if it does?" Nick retorted. "I agree, we're both different here because we don't have anything to stress us out or anything trying to kill us every day. Neither one of us will be as relaxed or whatever back in Vegas, but just because a few things are going to change doesn't mean everything will. The underlying factors will still be there. A case might get to me back at work, but it could never overshadow how I feel about you. I can't care about anything else as much as I care about you, no matter where I am. Nothing is going to change that."
Greg was unable to come up with an appropriate verbal response. There was no possible way for him to formulate everything that was going through his mind into words, let alone complete sentences that would be strung together to make any sort of sense. So he did the next best thing. He closed the gap between him and Nick, grabbing the older man by the back of his neck and kissing his passionately. Greg continued to move forward as he kissed Nick, resulting in his momentum taking the other man by surprise and causing him to stumble backwards. Greg successfully pressed his entire body flush against Nick's and surged forward until Nick was falling backwards. He grabbed Greg's hips and pulled him down with him. The ex-lab rat fell on top of him as Nick hit the sand. His surprise wore off and he kissed Greg back as hard as he could.
Greg pulled back slightly to catch his breath, and when he went to kiss Nick again, the other man moved his hands from Greg's hips to his chest, keeping him from moving any closer. Greg pulled back more so he could look Nick in the eyes, and what he saw there immediately concerned him.
"What's wrong?" Greg asked breathlessly.
Tears began to form in Nick's eyes as he looked up at Greg. "You're going to hate me," he whispered.
Greg shook his head slowly. "For what?"
"What I did," Nick replied. He swallowed hard. "For what I'm about to tell you."
Greg frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?"
"I have to tell you," Nick said. His accent was even thicker than it usually was. He moved his hands back to Greg's hips as if to keep in place and prevent him from being able to run away. "I just don't want to lose you."
Greg felt his heart rate increase ten fold and his hands began to shake. "Tell me what Nick?"
Nick closed his eyes, pushing out a few tears that ran down his tanned cheeks. He opened them slowly after a few moments and looked up at Greg. His head started spinning and he felt extremely lightheaded and more nervous than he had ever been in his entire life. Looking Greg in the eyes was tearing his heart in two, but he couldn't bring himself to look away either. Nick tried to take a deep breath, but it didn't make it past the lump in his through to his lungs.
As the tears continued to fall from his eyes, Nick said "I slept with Jenna."