MISSING SCENE 1:
Alternate Act 3, Scene 1: What if Xena hadn't stopped Ares from making his wish?
CUT TO: INTERIOR—DEMETER'S TEMPLE AT RODOLIVOS—DAY
ARES: I wish for Xena to rejoin the dark side and lead my army.
Suddenly, a blue-white portal opens behind him, sucking him in. Ares claws at the edges of the portal, trying to remain present, but the pull is too strong.
Ares finds himself in the alternate universe from Stranger in a Strange World. In front of him, he sees Evil Xena on a throne, her Hind's blood necklace around her neck and many hundreds of woebegone supplicants at her feet. Behind her, Gabrielle (in her executioner form) is grinning, showing off that she has no teeth.
Ares spots his lookalike, the God of Love, cowering in fear among the supplicants and sneers.
Evil Xena snaps her fingers, and an army marches forward, slaughtering supplicants left and right. The severed arm of the EMPRESS (alternate universe Nebula) flies over Ares' head.
ARES: Well, it's not quite what I wanted, but...why not?
He joins the fighting, working his way closer to Xena.
MISSING SCENE: What if Joxer made his wish using Semele's wishing curse?
CUT TO: EXTERIOR—PRISON—DAY
JOXER: I wish Gabrielle would love me. Not like fake me, or that time she lost her memory—but for real.
As he closes his eyes, reality blurs around him and solidifies into an undersea pastel-colored home. In front of him is Gabrielle, her hair long, clad in a bright pink dress. Behind her, three children (if they can be called that) who bear a suspicious resemblance to sea creatures stand expectantly. Caution: we have entered the episode Married with Fishsticks.
SEA-URCHIN CHILD: Welcome home, dad!
GABRIELLE (bitterly): Hi, Hagar.
JOXER: Argh! Take me back! Take me back!
Author's note: I hope you enjoyed this story, everybody. Please send a note; I'd love it as much as a Christmas present.