Happy Accident?

This story has been prompted by hattiexoxoxo and the prompt was Lindsey's feelings when she first finds out she's pregnant.

Happy reading and I hope everyone enjoys it.

"Just a minute," Lindsey shouted as someone knocked on the bathroom door, sighing as she heard Jason cursing from the other side. She checked her watch for what felt like the hundredth time, almost screaming when she realised there was still a minute left. Even though she knew it was stupid, she still looked at the pregnancy test in her hands, not surprised when she saw the small timer on the display screen.

Despite her earlier warning, Jason was still knocking incessantly on the door and she rolled her eyes at the younger boy's impatience. Knowing she would get no peace, Lindsey flushed the toilet and tried to make herself look a bit more presentable before pulling the door open with no warning.

"Cheers Linds," he muttered, pushing past her roughly. "Mum's cooking was a nightmare last night, I still ain't recovered." Rolling her eyes at Jason's dramatics, she wandered down the stairs, hoping to find more peace in the kitchen as she waited for the results to come through.

With every passing second, the dread and fear only built. Lindsey wasn't even sure if she wanted a baby or not, and it was because of that conflict that she hadn't gone out and bought a pregnancy test till that very morning, when it should probably have been done a few weeks back.

She hadn't had her period for the last two months and she knew that she should have checked sooner, but it was scary. That one little stick would tell her if she was going to be starting a family or not. Whether her whole life would be uprooted or not. Taking a deep breath, she made her way into the kitchen, not surprised (though a little annoyed) when she saw it was already inhabited.

"Thought you were at work?" Freddie asked, briefly looking over his shoulder, before turning back to the shelves, where he was pulling food from the cupboards.

"On a break," she lied, turning so the test was completely hidden from him, but she couldn't resist glancing down every few seconds as Freddie told her about how Ziggy had abandoned both him and Joe at the garage. His trailed off when he realised that she wasn't paying him full attention and placed his hand on her shoulder, getting her full attention once more.

"Are you okay Linds?" he asked and she shook her head, unable to keep it to herself for much longer. She had her suspicions for close to a month now, but she hoped beyond hope that her next period would come and she'd be able to let it all go. When it hadn't, she had resigned herself to what seemed extremely likely, rushing off at lunch to buy a do-it-yourself pregnancy kit.

"You're pregnant?" Freddie asked when he saw the test, sounding as shocked as she felt.

"We're about to find out," she replied, her voice shaking as she counted down the final five seconds on her watch before looking to the test again.

Pregnant

The one word stared at her and the young doctor could hardly believe what she was seeing. Tears blurred her vision as "You should talk to Joe," Freddie said quietly, reminding her that she wasn't on her own and she couldn't throw a fit about it, especially in front of the father's brother.

"No," she snapped, startling Freddie. "I mean, I'll tell him later. You still need to sort out those taxes." And she continued rambling, pulling out more food for the boys, though she didn't quieten, not until Freddie spoke up again, his eyes hard as they raked over her. Cold and accessing.

"I'm not sure if I want to keep it," she admitted, unable to look Freddie in the eye. It sounded terrible, but it was true. It wasn't in the plan for her to fall pregnant. Not yet anyway.

Of course her and Joe had talked about kids, and they'd both agreed that they wanted them someday, but not so soon. They'd just moved up to Chester, uprooting both of their lives. They weren't married. The garage was still in it's early days and could flop at any moment if someone took their eye off the ball.

She still didn't have job security, what with only being a newly qualified doctor and with having moved up to Dee Valley only a few weeks ago, well she'd been lucky to get the job in the first place, but to go and ask for maternity leave (no matter how short) was a dangerous move and something that she may regret later.

They still lived with Joe's mum for God's sake. Not that she didn't love Sandy, she adored her future mum to be, but when she envisioned the future, she didn't see herself with a child whilst still only engaged and sharing a house with five other people, if you didn't include her fiancé and child. Freddie didn't say anything for a moment, just stared at her as she tried to calm herself down.

Eventually he shrugged and said, "It's your choice I guess, just don't do anything you'll regret," before he bagged the few goodies he'd chosen for Joe and left the kitchen, front door slamming behind him.

The wave of emotions that had been building up for the past few weeks took over and she couldn't stop the few tears that escaped. Wiping them away, she took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. She needed to think about this rationally before she made any decisions. A baby was a big thing, her and Joe would be responsible for someone's life, would have to care for him/her and make sure they didn't get into trouble.

And whilst she knew Joe would love a baby (having come from such a large family it was only natural he yearned for a number of kids), she had to think about it sensibly. It wouldn't be a passing craze, they'd have an obligation to the child for the rest of their lives. Were they ready for that?

She was up for half the night (somewhat glad that Joe was working late), tossing and turning as she tried to come to a decision. But everytime she came to the same conclusion.

They'd be good parents, they'd love the baby with all their hearts, but would that be enough? They wouldn't have enough money, wouldn't have any privacy, wouldn't have job security for either of them. Was it worth it? Trying to bring up a child when they may not even be able to clothe it.

And was she even ready? She was just starting her career, her training only having ended six months ago. To give it up all so soon... well it stung and it wasn't something she was eager for. She loved her job, loved helping people and she'd wanted to be a doctor for so many years.

Lindsey wanted to scream at the unfairness of possibly giving it all up only months after she had achieved her dream. Basically, the conclusion that she reached every single time, was not a positive one.

Her and Joe weren't ready for a baby, not yet. In a few years, when they had their own place and had enough security to leave work, they could try again, but now was not the time. Having made her mind up on the difficult decision, she pulled her laptop to her and opened the Dee Valley hospital page, clicking onto the family planning clinic and going straight to the abortion page.

It was difficult reading the information, seeing the way they talked about abortions so clinically, as if the expecting mother was merely going to be popping out for a pint of milk, not doing something life changing.
When she had finished reading her mind was made up. It may not be the wisest decision, especially as she was intending on never letting Joe know, but Lindsey knew having an abortion was the wisest decision. They could try for a baby again (not that they had been trying in the first place) and actually be able to bring it up well and surround it with love and security.

Ignoring the voice in the back of her head that reminded her that secrets and lies were always found out and that she may not be able to get pregnant again, Lindsey shut her laptop screen and got ready for bed. Hoping beyond hope that her decision was the right one. It had to be, for her and Joe's sake.

And of course we all know what happens next. Hattiexoxoxo I hope you and everyone enjoyed reading this, I personally loved writing it, simply because I love getting into the heads of characters during scenes we've been shown and trying to figure out what they're thinking.

Next Story – Sandy reminisces, a story looking back over the years, to see how our favourite family have grown and developed – prompted by LawyerlyBrunette