Chapter 4:
Together
-x-
Yeah well I named this chapter after the song 'Together' that is included in the Great Gatsby's soundtrack which was played in the movie and its credits. Really lovely song indeed. Thought it goes well for Levi and Hanji.
I figure it'll go well with this chapter so yeah, have fun reading.
-x-
Levi was greatly surprised when the cloth and bandages were detached from his torn parts, to see that it was a metallic leg and arm that had completed it again. 'That's why it was heavy' he thought and tried to feel its new presence as it is now attached to him. He thinks that he looks weird, but he thinks he is stronger and better this time. He actually didn't have any idea how it will work, and if they can work normally like how his previous leg and arm works before.
Levi tried to look around and look for Hanji, the very first thing he had done once he woke up from his deep sleep. She was not there beside him, whom she usually does and it made his chest tighten. He had to admit that having Hanji run out of his life before made him extra frightened that she might do it anytime now and leave him forever. He pushed the thought away and had breakfast with his perfectly remaining hand. Not long after he was done, that was the time the doctor and his assistants came in and informed him that they are about to remove the bandages on his body.
Seeing Hanji not there to witness and share the happiness of him being complete again made him feel even more numb than what his body actually feels. Moblit entered his room and greeted him with a small smile.
"Hanji Danchou is in scheduled to have a conversation with Dot Pixis today Heichou" he informs him when in fact; Levi was just to ask if he sees Hanji around or where she was.
Levi was surprised by what Moblit had just said. "This early in the morning?"
"Yes Heichou"
"What's so important that they needed to talk about it this early?" The doctors retreated, placing a pat on Moblit's shoulder and said that it is up to him and Hanji Danchou to explain to Levi how the new metallic parts works.
When they were gone, Moblit pulled a nearby chair and sat. He didn't break his smile nor his stare at Levi.
"You see Heichou," he begun. Moblit sounded serious and Levi continued to stare at him, yearning for an answer. "Hanji Danchou had been very busy formulizing and thinking of a way how to help you get your old self back while she was away from you." Levi glared at his now prosthetic hand, surprised of what he had just heard. "The moment she realized that she still loves you and decided to keep her marriage to you, she immediately thought of a way how she could help make you regain your missing body parts, she can't bear seeing you suffering and losing you to eternal hopelessness." Levi gripped on his bed sheet, admitting to himself that he didn't knew it was her all along.
"The entire time that she was away from you, she was able to do and accomplish a lot for the Recon Corps. She fought a way to find numerous of sponsorships for the other necessities of the Corps but what she was even happier for was that she was able to persuade a lot of people, most especially the aristocrats, to help you, to support her cause of making you capable of fighting again and continue being the hope for everyone, keeping your title as the World's Strongest Soldier" Levi didn't know how to react. Hanji… her love and loyalty for him was too much. He doubt if he ever done something to make her do such a thing for him, someone who doesn't deserve such great amount of care and affection.
Moblit was unsure if Levi can hear him and what he is saying because his expression doesn't change, and he stares blankly at his new prosthetic arm and leg alternately. He may be expressionless but he is sure he is feeling something regarding the words that he is saying to him. "Hanji Danchou may not just be able to say it properly but she is more than happy to see you doing so well after the surgery, Heichou." Levi felt better with what Moblit had said but he is still uncertain if they can totally fix their marriage, as he senses her sadness in the tone of her voice the first time they spoke again and how she changes her expressions from happy to blankly sad. He was just hoping that it would be just any normal sudden mood swings of hers but it doesn't feel right.
She's still sad and like what she says, she still remembers how he cheated on her. He is aware of how great her memory grasps are, and he fears that he might find it hard to have those bad memories erased from her head completely.
He exhaled hard. He didn't want to lose her and he needed to double his efforts if he is in need to save their marriage from its almost total eradication.
Moblit stood up and examined his arm. It looked really well and have recovered quickly than they have anticipated. "It looks like you can start practicing later, Heichou"
"Practice?"
"Yes, this afternoon hopefully."
He thanked Moblit with his words, enlightening him that Hanji still does love him and that she didn't went back to him because she pity him or anything. That word love sounds to cliché and unreal to him, but all this, it was only Hanji who had confirmed that such word is real. He owe her his entire life and can't wait to thank her when she returns.
-x-
Moblit told Levi that Hanji is bound to explain everything to him, since the doctors too doesn't know anything but the basic like what it was and how to attach it to his bone permanently. The feeling is weird and new again as he was able to stand on his own, but a medical assistant helped him learn how to walk again.
He was shaking real hard when he began, trying to make his way from the other side of the room to the other. When he made his way over the other side, he sighed in great relief. He wished to know more about the prosthetics that has been attached to him but like what everyone said, it is better if Hanji explains it to him everything.
Moblit went back to assist Hanji and told Levi that she might come back late like usual. He nodded and id his best to practice walking again, so he can show it to her, to show her that all of her hard work was done perfectly well and did not go into such huge waste.
The medical assistant was having a hard time assisting Levi, since he is still heavy, most especially that he added another drag of heaviness within his leg and arm. When he was helped to sit down to rest, the assistant excused himself and went to have a rest himself.
Levi was still into another round of walking around the room. No longer waiting for the medical assistant, he carefully fixed his leg joint and slowly stood up and took few little steps, holding into everything that he can. He smirked when he managed to do it on his own. A few sweats dropped entered his eyes, stinging it and he loses his balance. Shit. He doesn't have any idea of how painful it would be if he falls on the floor or worst, might get himself into some pretty deep fucking pain, and it doesn't sound like fun at all. He still made a few steps, shaken like some earthquake and sees himself falling, his face about to hit the floor.
He readied himself to hit the floor when sudden strong but soft touching hands caught him by his arms and underarms, pulling him up and making him stand straight. His arm was then placed into his savior's opposite shoulder, instructing him to hang tightly.
"I got you" and it's the same familiar comforting voice of Hanji.
And she does have him, like she had always. Hanji smiled at him, their face not that distant from one another. Levi immediately tightened his grip onto her shoulder and balances his self-back again, trying to make small sure steps. They walked in silence around the room, Levi trying to concentrate on his steps. He felt more comfortable and determined when Hanji accommodates him in his walk practices.
"You tired already?" she asked once she felt like they've been walking for ages already.
He grinned at her and shook his head back and forth, and that he still wanted to go for a couple of more rounds. Hanji smiled lightly and nodded at his desired plan.
"Levi" she began, they have been walking for almost more than thirty minutes already and Hanji decided to break the silence between them.
"What is it?" and he looked at her direction, forcing himself not to deliver his signature stoic face.
Hanji locked eyes with him them focused back to his steps. "I'll be able to do this more often with you now Levi" she said softly. Her tone was a bit shy, and he saw her blush a little as she looked over his steps. It made him want to pull her for a sweet kiss for looking adorable. "I told Moblit about it and he said he can take over a while when I am here. He said Armin is also willing to assist him."
"So you'll spend you more time with me then?" His heart warmed, feeling like a chocolate melting all of a sudden.
"Just a few hours every afternoon, not the entire day. That'll be too much to handle if I missed a lot of stuffs if I am gone." Then the smile that had crept just moments ago in his face suddenly disappeared. Still, he can't believe that she'll be sacrificing a few hours everyday just so that she could be with him as he improve with the way he walk and move. It's really motivating and encouraging, he owe her too much already, even if she is his wife.
"Oh.." it was the only thing he was able to say and focused on his steps.
Hanji let out a low, short laugh. "You're not my only concern Levi"
"I know." His voice cracked and silently hoped that he was. If only she was not the Danchou or if he could only forbid any kind of work to go to her, he will definitely do it just so that he can be with her the entire time. She may be his wife but she still has a tough job to do for the Recon Corps as well. He feels greedy, but he needs her. He missed her so damn much and he wanted to show her how much she meant to him. On the other side, he also thought how it feels like having Hanji for his own sake, with nothing to worry about but the two of them and their lives together. But as usual, life has always been to mean for Levi and he didn't can't make Hanji settle for such simple thing in life.
Hanji nuzzled her nose to his cheek, loving his smooth skin and ever loving scent. "You'll do just great, don't worry."
He stopped and Hanji was pulled in his sudden halt. She can feel his new strength now and is sure that he will still even improve more. She looked at him with puzzled eyes. He gave her a kiss, softly pressing his lips to hers. He was happy that he can now be the one to give a kiss for her, not just only her who has been placing effort just to deliver a kiss. She closed her eyes and deepend the kiss.
The kiss was light as a feather, making her want for another. When she opened her eyes, Levi gave her a smirk and shyly look away, her lips curled into a smile. "I'll do greater with you though" and he gave her a kiss on the nose.
Hanji hugged him in response, as his left prosthetic hand tries to claim her and press her body to his, which his right hand has been doing already. It would be better if the left is already working and could embrace her tighter. Still, Hanji's hug is lightly tight on his neck and her hand caresses his hair. She loved his soft short hair, and she purred while she hugs him.
"I miss hugging you like this" she whispered. She can't even remember when the last time she hugged him like this too was.
"Me too, but I hope my left arm can work well already." He complained as he tried to move it by their side. Hanji was still clinging on his shirt, as though she will fall if she let go.
"I think we should sit down. I forgot that I should be the one explaining everything to you" she didn't let go of her grip on his shirt and said those words to his ear. He nodded and she led him to his bed. She let him hold on to her tightly as he balance and fix himself towards the bed. When he is settled, he waited for her to sit beside him and talk.
Once she took her seat beside of him, she bent her head down on his lap, wanting to sleep for a while but she can't, still owing him an explanation of things. Levi caressed her face and fixed her hair on his lap and placed his hand over her stomach and left it there to claim her. Such gesture made her feel warm and more concentrated.
"I know about how I got all this, I mean with the additional sponsorship and shit" Levi started, feeling that Hanji is too tired to even start the conversation. Hanji nodded and Levi cradled her onto his arm. "I just want to know if they'll act as normal as my real arm and leg does before."
"Not really much accurate or a hundred percent though, they will give you more strength and tighter kicks and grips than before." He didn't replied, just waited for her to continue as she closes her eyes.
"I designed it actually, and thought of the finest metals and elements that could be used to have it built strong than any other ordinary prosthetics around. I had Moblit asked for its possible construction with the best blacksmiths within the walls as I talked the surgery over with Erwin and he recommended his cousin, one of the finest doctors within the walls of Sina. After talking to him about my designed prosthetics, he agreed, at the same time as the blacksmiths agreed to work on your prosthetics. I was so happy I thought I am going to lose my mind." She smiled to herself and to her words, relieving the moment of that very minute. Levi cradled her by her abdomen, pulling her closer to him.
"You should have been there when they said that they can perfectly connect the prosthetics to your bones. I smiled like some weird titan. I made the leg adjustable and once you lower your body, I hope it will perfectly bend on its own as well like any normal knee could." She sighed and had her hand grip on his pants that she is laying on with. At the moment, he feels blessed to have an overly concerned and intelligently smart scientist for a wife.
"I am just happy to see you walking today that I hurried to you, not realizing that I was already catching you from a fall" she giggled.
"I stumbled." And he smirked.
"But I caught you"
"Yeah you did"
She raised her hand and touched his hair then travelled to his face, now turning her head to face him. "Though about the arm... I find it really difficult to design" she lost her cheery voice and turned into a more serious and sad one.
"I wanted it to work as a normal hand, being able to control the fingers but I did my best. Neurons are not enough to be tied into some metal fillings, as well as the veins so I couldn't do it." Her voice was shaky and apologetic. She shut her eyes as she felt sad towards her failure. "I am sorry Levi"
Her hand dropped and she lied by her side again, not wanting him to see the tears forming within her eyes. "Don't be. You've done enough. No, more than enough" she smiled at his words. Somehow, she felt his comfort.
He touched her from her face to her waist to her abdomen, continued to cradle her like a baby. His soft touches were soothing and she wanted to sleep as she lingered on those sweet comforting touches.
"But the elbow joint should move perfectly fine as well, you just need to know how to lock them temporarily so that they won't bend when you don't want them to, and bend when you wanted them to bend. I just had your fingers curled a bit though; I just think it's a better idea. But I promise to find a way for you to move your fingers and grasp for things"
Levi realized how slowly he is being fixed and get back to his normal state, but if he gain back his arm and leg, it's still not yet enough. They're not functioning like the normal ones and they can't feel any shit, which is the main problem. He wanted to feel Hanji's skin on his like it normally does.
"Oh and your prosthetic hand has the same thing with the 3DMG so you can attach blades directly from it, no longer requiring the help of your fingers. So you can still help killing titans too." He looked at the opposite side of his prosthetic arm, and by the wrist he saw what she had said. He can still fight titans all along.
"I'll have it fixed soon Levi, before you even complete your normal walk and other movements so you can fight again outside" it pained her to say that, since it was the reason that he almost died and miraculously survived, and now she can't even believe herself saying that it is alright for her to have him fight titans again. "I'll be extra watchful towards you" she muttered softly.
He knew she was getting scared and concern for him, and he wanted her to stop from it even for a while. He can't be thankful enough but she's getting tired already of thinking too much for his sake.
He can't express how thankful he is to her so he captured her lips again, giving her a very sweet and slow kiss. Slowly, his lips descended on her ear as his hand lingered on her cheek. "Take some rest Shitty Glasses, and enough thinking for my sake. You're too tired, just focus on getting back your energy. I already heard what I need to hear" and he kissed her on her cheek.
She tucked herself on his lap properly and hummed to herself, slightly smiling. When she was about to doze off completely after laying on his lap for a couple of minutes as he cradle her, Levi whispered upon her ear thinking she's already asleep, making her tremble. "You do not know how thankful I am to have you, despite of being nothing, becoming even more worthless. I never imagined I'll have someone like you to love me." His voice weakened and changed his voice shaking as he tries to stop some sob. "And I can't even return to you the same amount of affection and concern that you have for me. Sorry being the real shitty bastard here." He breathed deeply on his nose and traced her cheek. "And now I don't have the balls to say all this things to you, my Shitty Glasses." He gave her a very light kiss on her cheek and she could swear she felt his lips tremble, wondering if he was shedding tears or is about to cry at all.
Hanji wanted to hug him and shower him with kisses but she still wanted to know more of his confessions to her. Why can't he just say it in front of her? Was it really that hard? She's very open and understanding, they've known each other for years too. They have done almost everything together and a conversation like this is hard to bring up? What's gotten in him?
Knowing him, his weakness is being affectionate, most especially on words that is why he is more into action, kissing her or even silently hugging her all of a sudden. He may not be wordy but he still desires to tell and show her how much she means the world to him.
The feeling of how they managed to fix things up and work things out after such horrible problem in their marriage, the feeling was just so warming, so pleasant to the core. He never thought that they could go back from the way they were before after such horrible thing to face. As he looked at his wife, sleeping on his lap quietly, he realized that he never knew that such relationship is capable of mending after a horrible phase. He felt that they are more open to each other and knew more about each other when it comes to each other.
He surrendered and kissed her lovingly in the cheek again as he cradled her to her sleep.
-x-
With much effort and perseverance to walk again and go back to being normal, Levi did his best to walk everywhere as he can once he was allowed to go back to their home. What made him more determined to get back to his old ways of motions is when he saw that Hanji's things were already back to its proper place in their home, the ones that she took with her when she decided to go away from him were back to its proper places. He smiled at the thought that she'll be with him again.
When afternoon came, Hanji would arrive and would dismiss the assistant that she had hired for Levi to help practice. They would walk together from shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm and finally, ending from hand to hand when he was able to walk pretty well like he usually does before. Within a week, Levi succeeded in performing properly with his walking. From small steps inside the house to the garden of their house, Hanji clasped in utter amazement when she finally sees Levi can walk properly on his own. It was challenging for him, but it was a very moving thing for Hanji to see. He can even bend his knees properly and with no extra effort.
It took Levi to learn hopping, jumping and running in his second and third week of practice, much to his and Hanji's delight. He just needed to be careful though because it sometimes pain his leg when the pressure is placed in there too much, maybe because the muscles are not that much okay yet.
Eventually, Hanji would leave him and return to work but Hanji was surprised to see that when she gets home, Levi would have already prepared dinner for them and she would be there, ever willing to help him eat to his self.
It was very calming for Hanji, having her stress throughout the day suddenly go away as she help feed her husband on the table. Levi would properly cook deliciously and make it extra presentable. He would even add different flowers from his walk outside, picking them for her. He knew exactly that she loves flowers and would smile every time he brings some to her.
As much as Hanji enjoys placing a fork full of food and spoon full of some soup to her dear husband, she still cannot remain calmly seated seeing him cannot move his left fingers and grasp for things. It was amazing for Levi to cook deliciously with the use only of his right and support of his left but she knew that he too also wanted to have it work well.
Because of that, she never stopped thinking for a solution for Levi's still non-functional left hand.
Levi did returned working for the Recon Corps, giving drills and teaching the brats strategies and other shits that would be useful for them in terms of survival. He is glad to have been working again, he is out from being trapped in their house and do nothing but walk and most importantly, he could see Hanji more often during work and watch over her, making sure that that Chris guy won't come anyway near her.
Levi was able to look normal under their casual uniforms which are long and tight, his straps even more helpful making himself feel more intact. Despite his prosthetics being one of the best made and designed, his leg prosthetic suddenly had its breakdown, having its joint stopping all of a sudden.
But it could be a great way in some other ways.
It was almost lunch and Levi decided to come get Hanji out of her office and pull her out to eat with him, when his prosthetic leg suddenly stopped right outside her door. He can't move or even drag it, it will seriously cause him too much pain if he did drag it and carrying it forcefully might tear his tight uniform around him.
Instead of shouting for some help from Hanji since he was just outside the door to her office, he was halted to hear that someone is in there, talking to her. And it's a voice of some guy that he surely would want to beat into a pulp.
"How much and until when are you going to allow yourself be blinded with love to this one fucked up guy, Hanji? Because you are far smarter than you are and I can't believe you are allowing yourself to mess up and sacrifice everything just for him!?" Chris' tone was high with anger as it was also hurtful, slashing like a sword, paining her heart.
She didn't answer him and instead took a few papers from her desk.
He grabbed her available wrist, forcing her to meet his face. "I am talking to you and I deserve an answer from my question, Danchou" he told her, pronouncing the last word pretty hard.
"How long are you going to stay stupid and be in love with that useless guy? Tell me because I am too curious to know." He was teasing her, she is sure. He is nothing but a pathetic fool who doesn't know anything about what love is.
She forced herself to face him, look at him straight in the eye as she answered with an answer even Levi, who was still behind the doors, unable to move his mechanical leg. "Until the end of the world." Her answer to him was straight and full of persuasion in her voice, making his hand let go of her wrist. Levi was surprised to hear that, though he knows that she is saying the truth. It is just too sweet and unexpected to hear from her it made his mind shutter.
Chris in return didn't know what to answer back. But being the big bastard that he is, he shouted back an answer as Hanji made her way towards the door. "You don't have to pretend that you don't regret marrying him, Hanji Danchou" he chuckled in the end. Levi heard it and felt a sudden strike in his heart. He remembered Hanji's painful words that night, that she regret marrying him and shit. He is hoping that she no longer felt that way with him, it makes him feel weak.
Chris knew perfectly that Hanji indeed loves Levi, despite the things that had happened between them but Hanji stayed as his wife, not letting go of their vows and of their love. Instead, he still thought of teasing her, making her feel uncomfortable and be reminded about the reality of her marriage to Levi.
Hanji was surprised to see that Levi was just outside the doors of her office. "What are you doing here?" She felt scared suddenly, fearing that he had heard everything that she and Chris had just talked about.
"I can't fucking move my mechanical leg. It's starting again." A small smile crept into her face. Levi looked like a helpless baby who got stocked with his walker and can no longer walk back.
She opened her arms to him as she approached him. "Oh come here you big baby" she clutched the papers onto her tight grip to her left hand, as she caught Levi into her right arm. Like she always does, she adjusts slowly the joint of Levi's mechanical leg. When she saw that he can move it again slowly, she helped him walk again, assisting him as he lift his right mechanical leg until it can finally move its joints on its own again and she finally let go of him.
"Better?" she asked him, her eyes twinkling with delight. When he nodded, she quickly grabbed his hand and walked away, not wanting to make a scene again when Chris sees Levi and Hanji together.
When they stopped in the middle of the corridor, Levi reached for her chin and pulled it in front of his face, locking his lips to her, kissing softly, making her moan and she caresses his chest to his chin to his face in return.
"Until the end of the world, Shitty Glasses." Her smile suddenly grew but melted away from her face in an instant, eyes falling to the ground. So he did hear us. And she felt nervous and ashamed all of a sudden. Then the scene of Levi having sex with Petra came over her mind again and his words, making her look into other direction. She wondered if she can really love him again like before and be with him until the end of the world. Her heart is still not yet free from the abominable pain, and it still makes her heart twitch in disgust everyday. The thought made her head ache all of a sudden too.
Levi knew that face that she was making. After being happy, she would suddenly change her expression into something worried and sad then she won't speak. He can feel that something is going through her mind all of a sudden, something reminding her to be sad and act like that. And Levi isn't fond of it, most especially that he knew that Chris has something to do with it.
In return, he can't say anything about it but hold her hand tightly into his own body. Telling her that he won't do such fucking thing again is not a good idea, let alone promise that he won't fucked up again. Her trust to him is broken and tainted, and he didn't want it to get worst.
Without any other word, he took her hand and intertwined it with his. They walked hand-in-hand, still feeling blessed that they are still hanging on their marriage despite how their hearts are aching. However, he hoped she won't pull her hand away from his.
-x-
Levi was carrying Hanji on his arms when they arrived back to their home and placed her lovingly in the middle of their bed. He took of her high ponytail up and run his hand towards her cheek. He missed this kind of thing, doing this to her and can't wait to be in bed with her and embrace her until he too falls asleep.
She was sleeping deep and soundly, lying by her side as her hand just about to her lips. Levi smiled at the picture of his wife's sleeping form and quickly wanted to join her. He changed his attire into a more comfortable one for sleeping as he took Hanji's pants and left her polo shirt on her. She liked it that way, just way more comfortable for sleeping.
He blew the candles off and removed the glasses of Hanji's on her nose softly as well as her hair rubber. He squished in and scooped her under by his right arm as his left landed on her waist and comfortably stayed there. He pulls her towards his chest but succeeded very minimally. Hanji opened an eye, realizing what Levi wanted to happen and she moved towards his body by herself. Her head rested perfectly on his chest as her hand gripped on his shirt while Levi hugged her gently, greedily locking her in his embrace. For some quite nights they were able to get back to their usual sleeping habits but this time, he wanted to do more than just a hug. He wants to show her how he loves her. Besides, he's always been better in actions than words, and now's the time he can't even talk properly to her.
Though he may wanted to do it tonight, he knew he can't and wouldn't like it, she's too tired to do such thing tonight too. After hearing those words from Chris, it wouldn't be a great idea if he'd make a move to make love with her tonight and resume how things were like before.
As he stared in the dark, Hanji tucked herself on his left mechanical arm. He thought that she might find it uneasy and hard to sleep with pulled her head instead on his chest and placed a very light kiss on her cheek. She needed sleep and rest after all the crazy things that she just had to face and works needed to be done. To add the harassing words thrown by Chris earlier which is not very comforting, he doubts if she can gladly focus on him if they do make love tonight and not on some of his past wrong doings. He swear that that Chris will have his nose go through his brain tomorrow.
Just remembering how Hanji and him made a dash along the gardens of the HQ, letting him practice his running and other skills was a huge warmth to his heart. Instead of focusing on letting him practice, they ended up stumbling on each other every time he would finish a lap and pull her down in the ground and lock his arms around her waist as she lands on top him and not letting go. He wanted to erase from her mind and heart about the words of that asshole and said on her, and at the same time, have her feel his love for her, that he too is serious that he will love her until the end of the world.
They didn't noticed until the skies darkened and the moon slowly crept up with the light of the stars around it. Hanji adored watching it and made her feel so calm.
"Watch the stars with me Levi" and he nodded in response.
They lied together on the ground and didn't said anything. He wanted to ask about her argument with Chris but he couldn't, afraid that she might remember his wrong deeds again. Levi watched Hanji watch the stars, twinkling with delight. She kept a small distance from him, her hands under head. He did stretched out his left arm for her to lie on with, welcoming her for a haven to rest on his chest. She didn't take it even if he didn't even actually told her to, but she knew that it meant that way. Then, she decided to talk after almost an hour of not talking and just staring at the sky. Normally, he would tell her that they should go back home but she asked for some time to gaze upon the stars and Levi can't just say no to that.
"You know, they said that when people die, they turn into stars." Levi turned his and looked at her. What was she saying?
"I know you don't believe that, neither do I but it sounds so... comforting." She smiled, as though she remembered something funny and went to remember it all of a sudden. "I don't mind turning into one if I die" and then looked at him. "If I died soon, all you need to do is look at the night sky and look for that red blinking star" and points up to the little star blinking, turning from black to red.
The words that came out of Hanji's mouth snipped something at Levi's heart. Even if she just assume of herself dying and turning into a fucking star, he can't bring himself to think of it. If she's gone forever, what would he do?
"Don't say such thing Shitty Glasses" not that he didn't want to agree on what she said about people turning into stars when they died but the thought of losing her is unbearable. "I will never fucking do that" his face maybe as stoic as usual but his voice betrays him, sadness can be felt and even fear if listened well.
Hanji turned to her side, looking at him with her face hurt of what he had said. "Why not? Is it because the night sky will turn ugly if I turned into one?" She found the red star a bit amusing, like a blood dripped on the dark sky night, very alluring indeed.
Levi scooped her by his mechanical arm as she helplessly landed her head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat and tucking her hands on his shirt. He didn't mean to sound offensive and hurt her but she needs to understand something else.
"I'll never ever allow you to die before me and let me fucking watch the night sky without you, that I will look for you whether if you did turned into a star or not? That's not fucking happening Hanj"" Hanji glanced at him even if he didn't glanced back at her, trying to stop the tears forming in his eyes. He would never ever allow her to die first and leave him broken, he will never allow her to leave him all alone again. He would gladly choose to live on a dirty castle or house full of bacteria and dust than to live without her. "Fuck with that. I'll die first before you could even do so" and he kissed the top of her head. After almost twelve years of being together, he couldn't afford to lose her all of a sudden.
She responded by tightening her hold onto his shirt and deepening her face on his chest. He's being selfish again. If he died earlier than her, then there would be nothing left to make her life worth living for. She wouldn't stand imagining him dying right before her very eyes and live the rest of her life without him by her side. Somehow, she regret her words earlier of her dying because Levi now is successful enough to let her feel the same thing if he loses her.
"I swear, I promise" he whispers in her ears and she smiled at him weakly when she saw him already glancing on her.
"You're being selfish"
"You are too."
"Or maybe we could turn into stars together" she said in her natural cheery voice, going back to her old self.
"As long as I won't see you die before me then it's alright"
"Not fair! I don't want to see you die too!" she pouted. Levi can't help but just smirk and kiss her nose.
"Maybe we could die together, like Romeo and Juliet" Hanji gasped on what she had heard. Since when did he knew about them?
"I read your books when you were gone" as though he heard her question in her mind. He didn't like the idea but if it's what will spare any of them for further pain, and then they have no choice but to die in each other's arm. "Romeo was too stupid to believe that Juliet was already dead."
"How is that?"
"He just needed some time for her to wake up, and he is too impatient and kills himself instead. If I were him, I'll just be by Juliet's side until she is buried and kill myself there, I'll jump on her grave and kill myself there. By that, no one will stop me and be instantly buried together with her" he explained.
Hanji laughed, can't believe that she was hearing it right.
"What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing" but still continued laughing. "I pitied them both you know? Instead of living more days being husband and wife, they end up tragically dead. At least somehow, they both felt equal pain of witnessing how their lover die which is very fair."
"Yeah, poor bastards. And we won't end up that way, right?"
She didn't respond back, and Levi panicked in the inside and forced her to look at him, grabbing her chin and forcefully lead her gaze to meet his. "Right?" and shook her lightly by his arm.
She smiled sadly, unsure if they would indeed not end up like Romeo and Juliet but still nodded just to calm him down.
Levi slowly squirmed with his embrace on her and travelled down to her chest, and hugged her from there. He listened to her heart, beating in its normal range as Hanji watched in awe. She dipped her hands on his hair as he let her tangle her legs on his body. Hanji played with his hair and hugged his head tighter to her chest. Levi didn't want to lose her, and as he listened to her heartbeat, he tried to remember it, memorizing it so he would be kept reminded of her still lively presence. He never wanted to no longer hear that sweet rhythm of beatings ever again. If only he could wake up and sleep every night with that same sound, then he could no doubt, ask for nothing else. He can't stand losing her and will never allow her to live alone too if he would die first. They'd be together, no matter what happens, no matter how many people try to separate them.
Now that they are on the same bed, Levi slowly placed his right hand inside her shirt, placing it a bit below her left breast and left it there, trying to feel her heart beating this time.
He sighed and closed his eyes in contentment, he fell asleep right instantly, feeling her heart beating together with his.
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ELI251 I appreciate your tears of appreciation of my fic, thank you so much for your support on this. I don't mind bad English so don't worry about it. English is my second language too and I'm not a perfect user of it so yeah. (:
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hope the editing was fine.
see yah guys in the next chapter.