Chapter 6
Friday after the fall
Taylor
Look what we have here, I think to myself as I take in the sight of a sleeping Paige on one of the lobby's lounge chairs. I tap the chair with my boot. She slowly rouses to wakefulness. With the angle her body settled into she must be stiff and sore. Good.
"Miss Dennison," I drawl. She searches groggily for where the voice is coming from. "Miss Dennison," I patiently try again. Finally her gaze focuses on my face.
"Taylor?" She blinks against the sunlight.
"May I ask, what are you doing here?"
"Waiting for Christian," her throat thick with sleep, her tone annoyed.
"It's my understanding he wished for some privacy last evening."
"Well it's morning now and I want to see him."
"That's going to be impossible, he's already at the office."
"Do you mean to tell me he walked through this lobby and left me sleeping here?" She's outraged.
"No, he went straight from his apartment to the garage and to work."
Her eyes narrow, she's searching my face to see if I am telling her the truth. "Taylor, do you expect me to believe that it's," she stops to check her watch, "7:30 in the morning, and he's already at the office?"
"Believe what you like, but he often gets an early start to his day. I would suggest you go home and he'll contact you when he wants to see you." Hopefully never, I leave that unsaid. This doesn't go over very well.
With hands on her hips she informs me what I can do with my suggestion. This gives me the opening I've been waiting for and I tell her some hard truths.
"I'm gonna let you in on a little something. Your relationship with Mr. Grey doesn't have half the heat his relationship had with Mrs. Grey during the same time frame. They were consumed with each other, nothing, and I mean nothing could keep them apart. He deeply loves his wife, is still concerned about her happiness and safety and that of their son, from what I can see you just feed that dark, twisted need in him. Somehow, for some reason, he's let that beast out again. You're little more than a sub with benefits."
"Does Christian know you're talking to me like this…I doubt he would approve."
"I'll take my chances. You're not Mrs. Grey, I hope you never will be. See, my job is to protect Christian, sometimes that means protecting him from himself. I should have chased your ass off months ago. You overestimate your importance to him, that's a mistake I hope you keep making." I pause to let that sink in. "He told you he wanted privacy, you seem to be unwilling to respect that, that won't go over well with him. You don't want to let your desperation show, do you?" A flicker of fear dances across her eyes. Got her. "Again, my suggestion is that you get your shit and go…home." I say leaning into her. "Let him contact you, at least then you can preserve the appearance of self-control."
She reaches down to retrieve her purse and brushes past me. She turns for one last jab but I beat her to it.
"And while you're there…brush your teeth. She is furious, I believe she wants to take a swing at me, but I'm not budging and she finally takes her leave.
Once she exits the building I enter the elevator on my way to collect Mr. Grey for his day at work.
Christian
I'm finding it hard to get motivated this morning. My mind is still congested with all the brutal words hurled at me last night.
The intercom buzzes interrupting my thoughts. "Mr. Grey, your father is here." Andrea informs me.
Shit, shit, shit. No more, goddamn it. Can't deal with the repercussions? FUCK! I silently yell in my head.
"Send him in."
"Good morning, Christian."
"No, actually it's not." I close my eyes, while pinching the bridge of my nose.
He cocks his head to the side. "Yeah, I don't imagine it is."
I sigh, "Dad, I have a ton of work to get through before a very important meeting at noon. Why did you stop by?"
"Divorce attorney?" He pins me with his gaze.
"No, who said anything about a divorce? I haven't, has Ana? This might be perverse but I'm going to take my time on this. For once I'm going to think things through. Despite what you think I'm not choosing Paige over Ana. Admittedly I have been a self-indulgent pig. Paige was just there to stroke my ego, at first. It felt good to have some ones total attention again. It fed something in me, something I didn't even know that I was missing. I expected this…thing…with Paige to run its course and be done. I wasn't ready for Ana to find out, Shit. I never thought she would. But Ana knows now, and I can't express to you how bad I feel for causing her to hurt like this. Let's face it though, if there hadn't been something missing in my marriage I would never have seen Paige, she may have been in the room, but she would have never gotten a second glance.
"Well Christian it goes something like, …'and forsaking all others'… that doesn't mean that you'd never find another woman attractive or alluring, but your promise to another, mandates you walk away, leave temptation alone. You're a businessman, let's talk in terms you understand; marriage is a contract, you are in breach of contract. What do you do when a company breaches one of your contracts? Hmmm? I almost feel like I need to sit you down and give you the talk about the birds & the bees, but the birds & bees of how to treat others."
What the fuck is he talking about? I have to suppress a chuckle. What I could teach him about the birds & bees would make his dick stiff for a month, but that's not what he means and I know it, I'm being deliberately obtuse. He suddenly chances direction.
"Your mother wants to know what you plan on doing about Coping Together. You know Ana is getting an award this year, it's her night, and your mother doesn't want it spoiled."
Shit, that stings. He changes direction once again. Is this some lawyer stunt to keep me off balance?
'You still seem to think you have a choice. Ana just may take the choice from you. I haven't spoken with her yet, but, so that you know I plan to. If I were her attorney I would tell her to take you to the cleaners, break you into pieces. Clean. Your. Clock. Christian this is the very reason I told you to get a pre-nup."
"Dad don't start with that shit again. Ana can have whatever she wants. I mean that. The house is already hers, always was. The house on the sound is in Ana's name solely. It was my present to her. There's no fight there. If it comes to a divorce, which I hope it doesn't, she can have any…any amount of money she wants, spousal support, child support, Grey Publishing, a percentage of GEH, stocks, properties, whatever….the only thing I will fight is the divorce itself. We just need to take a step back, let things settle down, and think when cooler heads prevail.
"Cooler heads? He actually begins to laugh. "Christian, son, you are a babe lost in the wood. He's still chuckling. What the fuck does that mean?
Andrea's interrupts through the intercom. "Mr. Grey, I have Ros on line one."
"Tell her I'll call right back. My dad is just leaving." I hope he takes my not so subtle cue. He rises. Thank God.
"Christian, I want to know more about…Paige, we're not through with this conversation, and I want you to keep this in mind,…a woman that will cheat with you, will cheat on you." He thankfully takes his leave after dropping that little pearl of wisdom.
Flynn
Christian enters my office. I see none of his usual vigor, he looks…shaken, defeated.
"Christian?" He takes his usual seat and immediately curls in on himself. His arms lay limply in his lap, his shoulders hunched, and his head hangs to his chest. What the hell has happened?
"Christian? I say softly, "can you tell me what's happened?"
"That's why I'm here, just give me a minute." I busy myself with gathering my writing pad and pen. Marian buzzes in to inform me lunch has arrived.
"Wonderful, can you bring it in please." Marian brings in our sandwiches and bustles around setting up the table. Christian hasn't moved or uttered and sound.
"Let's eat while we talk." I gesture toward my conference table where Marian has set up our lunch. His lumbering form rises with what appears to be great difficulty, and lopes toward the table. I grab two waters from my mini fridge as we both sit and begin to unwrap our gourmet deli sandwiches.
"I was going to have ham and cheese with a pickle, but since you were buying…." I hunch my shoulders and give him a silly, sheepish grin. I'm trying to bring him around with our usual banter, it's not working.
"I've been having an affair. Ana found out Wednesday evening, my family last night." It comes out in a rush of words. I am stilled by this revelation, sandwich stopped midway to my mouth. I place it back on the parchment wrapping. Boy, am I glad I'm recording, I could never keep up with pen to pad alone. Holy hell.
"Needless to say everyone is furious and disappointed with me, including myself."
My first question is 'is it a sub', but I hold that question. "How did Ana find out?"
He shakes his head, anger and bluster inflate him again. "A dumbass clerk at Nieman's sent the new clothes I purchased for Paige to Grey Meadow instead of Escala per my instructions."
"Paige?" I raise my eyebrows.
He nods, "her name is Paige Dennison."
I nod once, curtly.
"How did you meet Paige Dennison?"
His body language screams he doesn't want to talk about this. Slumped back in his seat, arms crossed against his chest, sandwich abandoned. He waits a beat.
"She works at the Georgian as a hostess, GEH held a reception there in February for a French engineering group we recently acquired."
I take a bite of my sandwich waiting for him to continue, it appears he has no intention. I wipe my mouth. "Continue."
"Look John, all that shit's not important." He's impatient now. "I wanted my warm, loving, funny wife and she just wasn't to be found. I started feeling like we were just going through the motions. John I was petrified. For months I was constantly worried. I tried initiating some things, mostly sexual, but some romantic. I had to go to France on a business trip, I thought it could also be a nice romantic get-a-way for us, a chance to reconnect, rekindle the spark. I was met with a recitation of all her responsibilities, engagements, or obligations to other people. That got old, fast. The constant worry, turned to agitation, and that turned to anger." His hands are gripping his hair. "I never let this thought fully form, but, my…fear was that, she saw through me. I always knew she could never really love me and that she finally woke up, didn't love me anymore, didn't want me and all my bullshit. My need for control, my overbearing tendencies, my temper, my darker… needs, my baggage and all the other burdens that come along with being with me, were always going to drive her away."
"Why are just now coming to see me about this?" Frustration colors my question.
He shrugs a shoulder, "I didn't want to hear a lot of psychological mumbo jumbo."
"You wanted to have the experience." I catch him off guard.
"No." He says too quickly. "No, I didn't deliberately set out to cheat on my wife. The chemistry with Paige was just so strong. That first night at the Georgian we flirted from across the room, John. Every time our eyes met it was like…like the fucking 4th of July. The sparks were flying. We were fucking each other with our eyes." He shakes his head ruefully. "I just let it go too far. This is on me, I'm the one who made vows and broke them."
"Are you telling me you chased this woman?"
"No, no, in fact, she attempted to make a connection that same night, by handing me a business card, but I rejected it and left with my wife. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about her again, but I didn't reach out to her. It wasn't until a couple of days later that she made and appointment and came to my office under the guise of returning what she thought was a lost, ugly little bracelet. She made it abundantly clear that she was interested, and clearly she knew I was married." He stops and lets out a long sigh. "She thought the ugly little bracelet could have been Ana's. I let myself engage in the game, the fantasy, because it felt so fucking good. I knew I was extending the contact, sending her some flowers and a note, I knew she would reach back out to me, and the rest is…" He trails off unable to voice the obvious. "Even with the guilt and shame I felt and still feel, I've been unable to resist when the pull overtakes me."
"I see," I place my elbow on the table and interlace my fingers, trying to purchase some patience. "I usually try and let you come to realization on your own, but there is no time for that; you are like a small child with a firearm. Dangerous. "You are a bit of a drama junkie. You need the zing, the thrill, the pop of drama to inform you that your emotions are there, that your love is alive. But no marriage can live on that high wire forever. And both you and Anastasia came prepackaged with emotional deficiencies, your self-abhorrence, her low self-esteem." I take a breath.
"I don't know if I'm the best person to help you right now. I'll get you the number of another therapist who can work through this with you."
"John, no, I don't want another therapist, another therapist is not going to know my history and will take entirely too long to build the trust needed to really open up. I want to continue with you."
"I'm not a marriage counselor, and I want…."
"But you're my counselor," He interrupts.
"I don't know if I can be…professional with you on this matter. At this moment I am incredibly angry with you. I want to box your ears, and slap some sense into you."
"Join the club," he murmurs.
I stare at him waiting for him to continue.
"John, the beast is back. Paige takes a beating like few others I have met. She claims she knew about BDSM before we met, but never practiced it. I wonder, cause she's taken to it like a duck to water, and if I let her go, and I don't know if I can. Can I cage the beast again?"
"Did you feel like you were fighting it your entire marriage?" I ask.
"No, I thought I had conquered that darkness, for the most part, but once I felt Ana's love was gone from me, my very worst fear realized, I was despondent and out of control. And…" He trails off shaking his head.
"I'm going to have to do some research, but I would like to start meeting twice a week. I want to see you this Monday, and we'll start working. There's a lot more to cover, but, I want you to seriously consider some things before we meet again." He literally just sits and blinks at me. "What do trust and loyalty mean to you? Our time is up for today."
Christian
On the way back to GEH I instruct Taylor to stop by Grey Publishing. I want to speak with Ana about letting me spend some time with Teddy the next afternoon.
I walk in to the usual buzz and stares. Walking deliberately to Ana's office I go to knock, but Hannah steps behind me and says that Ana isn't in today. Now that has me alarmed. Ana never misses work.
"Did she say why she wasn't coming in?"
"No, just that it was personal." She gives me the strangest look.
"I'm here to retrieve her cell phone, she left it on her desk last night." I walk in and grab the phone from where she left it. Then decide to call her from here, if I ring her from my office or cell she may ignore the call, she'll definitely answer a Grey Publishing call. I dial Elliot's number first. Luck is on my side, Ana answers.
"Hannah?"
"No, it's me."
"Christian!" It's a harsh, surprised, whisper. "Are you in my office?"
"I came by to speak with you, but Hannah informed me you were not in today. I won't ask if you're okay." I am greeted with silence.
"I just wanted to know if I could get Teddy tomorrow afternoon for a couple of hours. I haven't seen him since Wednesday, I miss him…you too." More silence.
"I don't know Christian…I don't want my son around your….friend." Long silence. "If you will promise me that you won't have her near my son, then yes, you can have him for the afternoon. He misses you too."
"Our son," I interject, "and that won't be an issue Ana. I want to spend some Daddy & Teddy time, just me and him." I shouldn't press my luck so I don't. I take her silence as agreement. "Great, I'll pick him up around 3:00, dress him for the park, and I'll have him back before bath and bedtime, sound good?"
"That works." She's hangs up before I can say 'have a goodnight'.
I head back to GEH lifted by my meeting and my phone call. One more hurdle and I can truly call today productive.
************************************************* ATf ****************************************** ************************************************** *********************************************
Thanks to fungirlygirl for editing, and those great conversations, your help in invaluable.
Thanks to FiftyShadesOfJess your comments helped to bring my thoughts into focus.
Thanks to all of the reviewers, and I do mean all, you give me lots to think about.
I do not own these characters, they are the domain of E. L. James.