Chapter 6:
In My Remains
-x-
Title from one of Linkin Park's song, also an official soundtrack of the latest Transformers.
As you can see, I'm very fond of using songs as my titles. Kinda find it fun and is enough to express or relate the story itself or the chapter.
Have fun reading.
-x-
It was a month after what had happened in the lab and yet, Levi still feels alarmed of what Chris had said to him.
He will drop by everytime in Hanji's office or lab every hour or ask someone to do it for him instead if he's too busy with the drills or with something else. He also took a bit more time to watch over Chris and his suspicious moves and unknown motives. He makes sure that he won't let even a finger of his touch Hanji or even get close to her even for a meter. He swears that he will receive more than just a jab on the chest or make him bleed.
Somehow, whenever he is not by Hanji's side, Levi feels anxious of how she is. But the moment that she appears and smiles at him, sometimes gives him a quick kiss in front of everyone (which he find very awkward but melts him in the very inside) or even the smallest and lightest squeeze in each other's hands comforts him from the dark thoughts of having to lose her. He didn't want to seriously take Chris' words about his everything but he did find himself thinking about what he meant of remembering. What was it that he needs to remember about him? He is sure he never had met him before, so what in the world was he talking about?
When night came, Levi feels more than in heaven. Every Friday night is a total date night for him and Hanji, having sweaty sexy time and what he loved about it now is that he can straddle on her perfectly fine like usual and he no longer need to pull out. He didn't know why but Hanji insist that he just shouldn't, he no longer needs to. He took her words by heart and he doesn't pull out, seeing that it even feels way better to pour everything inside of her too. The joy and ecstasy is just a pure bliss and he can't ask for more. They made each other feel and sure that no one between them both is not good enough to please each other in bed.
It took a few months before Levi could have completely resumed killing off titans perfectly like he does before and it's so much better to finally be with Hanji outside on mission again, no longer worrying about her or how she is. Levi then felt that he should ask Hanji to remove Chris once and for all as the captain and then resumed his role as the ever strongest captain.
It was already a year and a half after that horrible time when Hanji learned the truth about his betrayal of his to her. Now that everything seems to be going better for them both after facing such horrible time for their marriage, Levi wanted to make things extra special for their incoming second wedding anniversary* which is already in a few weeks.
They returned from a successful mission on a cool morning breeze, Levi immediately went to see Hanji who went to rush quickly to her office. When he saw Moblit inside the office, the young man excused himself.
"She's in the bathroom"
Levi groaned and took a sit on a nearby chair. He has been waiting for more than ten minutes and it's not like her to do such shit. Why would she be there so long?
When he step foot right beside the door of the bathroom he was alarmed to hear her throwing her guts out. He quickly pats her back back and forth and fixes her hair. When she was done, she felt and looked so drain on the floor.
"What the fuck had just happened?" He placed a hand on her forehead but she seems to have the same normal temperature on her, so no fever or something else.
Hanji looked up to meet his eyes. "I'm sick I guess."
"Did you ate something to make you feel sick?"
She stopped to think for a moment and let out a 'no'. Levi shrugged and scooped her onto his arms.
"Where are we going?" Hanji asked weakly. Her eyes were barely down, exhausted and can no longer argue with him of taking her away from work. She still needed to make a report regarding their mission outside and she hadn't even started yet.
"Home" he answered bluntly.
With no energy left within her, she purred in his chest and surrendered in defeat. She was too exhausted, right after the mission she is to make a report and prepare for the meeting for the following day about each leader's feedback regarding their mission.
Levi placed her on the bed, changed her clothes and tidied her up. It was pointless waking her up to get herself clean anyway. He scrubbed her with wet towels, her face and immediately washed her clothes. The sweat, dirt and vomit that were in there should be immediately removed. Once Levi was done, he changed his clothes too and joined her on the bed. It was already noon and they will surely miss lunch, but napping together seems to be a better choice.
He squeezes in her side and quickly placed his ears to her chest. He heard the same heart beating to its glory, but this time there is something different. Her heartbeat was faster, even if she was fast asleep. No matter, the most important is that she is by his side, alive and well. The thought of her vomiting early in the morning and saw how exhausted she was, all of her colors drained and felt like a total feather on his arm made him shiver. He didn't stopped listening to the new rhythm of her heart, and fell asleep quite immediately.
-x-
The following days were somewhat almost the same early in the morning where Hanji would vomit everything from inside of her while Moblit will look after her.
"Don't tell Levi." She told him, and had a feeling that she might be up to somthing so he agreed, nodded queitly and asked no questions and helped her clean herself.
Hanji was furious in the inside. She can't, can she?
Well, it's been months that she had agreed to Levi not to pull out anymore but she still has a feeling that she just couldn't be. She's not yet even finding out the answers behind the titan's mysteries and she promised to herself that she will only have a child if the world is free of any titans but she can't help herself, she loved Levi more than anything else in the world.
True, she may always follow her rule of 'duty first before anything else' but she also has a duty to Levi. But most of all, she just love Levi so much. But she's not yet sure. Vomiting is enough to persuade her that she might be carrying his child already, though she can't help but feel excited despite of worrying.
She smile at herself and patted her still flat stomach with her fingers. She breathed carefully and tried to feel her body from within. She still feels normal except for the vomiting part, but could swear that her tummy feels a bit funny, as though there is a worm squirming inside of her. If only she is allowed to do it, she would disect her abdomen and check for the real thing of what is happening inside.
"I'll tell your dad tomorrow" she murmurs. Whethere if there's a baby within her or not, she will tell Levi the possibilities that she might be pregnant already. She didn't want to keep his hopes up, most especially from the very start of their relationship, he had longed to impregnate her and have her carry his child and just find out that it was just a false alarm.. If they wait and observe for months, she is sure that Levi will try to understand.
She is sure he will understand.
What another surprise news to add to spice up her big surprise tomorrow for their second wedding anniversary. Aside from that, she can't believe it, in case that she really is pregnant of Levi's child, that she is carrying World's Strongest Soldier's child in her, and she feels giddy and excited to see their little kid.
For now, she needs to clean herself before even doing her duties for the rest of the day.
-x-
Levi was looking desperately for Mike, searching in the crowd of people across the hallways of the HQ. After what seemed like hours, he found the tall blonde man with hilarious mustache.
"What is it?" Levi was tugging on his shirt like some helpless kid who was lost.
"I need your help"
"About what?" Mike blinked.
"Hanji" giving him the same blank stare.
"What's wrong?"
"I need you to choose between pink and white and white and red. Which is better?" Mike laughed and choked.
"I'm fucking serious Mike. I want to make our wedding anniversary special" and Mike didn't asked why. He knew perfectly why he wanted to make it extra special.
He fixed his throat and gulped hard. "What kind of flowers are you considering to get?"
Levi arched an eye brow. "Roses maybe. I don't have good tastes, you know that."
"Roses are great choice so don't worry. Maybe red and white is better; red reflects love better than pink does."
Levi smirked. He applauded silently to himself for choosing Mike to help him with his problem. "Thanks Mike. I think I owe you this time."
"No problem Levi" the two man then took their own paths as Levi went immediately to the busy streets of the village, looking for the flowers he needed and go rush back home to quickly fix everything. He needs to prepare the food too. It's going to be a surprise and this is the very first, big deal kid of surprise that he ever does, maybe the only surprise that he did.
When he was about to go back home, he bumped into some Recon Corps kids. It was Armin and the other two as usual and told him that Hanji was looking for him and told him to go to her laboratory. He looked at them with questioning face and told him that they don't know why.
He went to leave the flowers first on the bed and quickly left for the Hq. She should be busy with something else, why would she want to call for him in the middle of the day?
He checked himself first, combing his hair down with his fingers and fixed a bit of his uniform. He knocked but no one came to answer.
He pushed open the door as the lights suddenly burst open by itself and the door closed by two younger Recon Corps member, smiling at Levi devilishly.
"the fuck!?"
The two young men pushed Levi forcefully and faced the man in front of him by the table of Hanji to see it was Chris. His heart quickly ran fast inside his rib cage, wanting to get out, feeling as though danger is just around the corner.
"Where the fuck is she!?" Levi glanced at his surrounding, seeing that there are also a few more people inside the laboratory of Hanji. He is sure that he can beat them all, but he fears that Hanji might've already been hurt.
"Well, well. Isn't it the great, Levi Ackerman?" Levi's jaw tightened as his fist is starting to prepare to throw some punch on the face. "Here to see your wife?"
Levi advanced right at him. "You hurt her and I swear that you'll have your eyes out of your fucking head."
Chris didn't seemed to be affected by his words and even gave him an eveil smirk of his. "If you want to see our dear Danchou, you need to cooperate well and be a good Heichou or else-" Chris made a gesture as if he cut his own throat after he spoke calmly with his neutral voice.
Levi was stopped with his plan of attacking him and stood shakily, can no longer contain the need of giving this guy a huge amount of tremendous pain. "What do you want."
Chris laughed harder this time and stopped to look Levi seriously. "I want to see you suffer and die right in front of me, Heichou" he said in pure distaste. "But before that, I want to let you remember a couple of things first." He didn't remove his icy stare at Levi and moved from his place. Levi then realized that behind was Hanji, seated, eyes closed, not awake. Fortunately, he saw her chest rising and falling and it eased his worry just very little. Moblit in the other hand was at the near foot of Hanji, lying helplessly as his mouth is open and eyes closed same as her. He has a bruise and a cut of the face, signifying that he has been taken down by these guys.
"You two, tie his hands." Two young men grabbed a rope and prepared to tie it to Levi's hands but he refused, squirmed and thrown them flat with their faces down on the ground with no extra effort.
"Tsk Ttsk! You need to behave Heichou, or else Danchou will get hurt" he tried to sound as if he was cooing a baby, mocking and teasing Levi with his eyes as he tugged his hand over Hanji's hair and gently placed a knife by her throat. "She'll get it if you don't behave"
Levi felt more terrified seeing Hanji close to death than his self being close to death as well. He should do something, anything to save her. As he closed his eyes, he remembered how Hanji smiled on her sleep just this morning in his arm, naked, hair tossed everywhere, breathing peacefully, his only haven and eternity of peace. He can't lose her nor even watch her be placed in great agony because of him. She had endured, suffered and sacrificed a lot in loving him. Right now, he doesn't want her to feel even more pain to her heart because of him.
"Don't." He murmurs and he dropped to his knees as two other soldiers tied his hands immediately.
"I'll do everything you want, just let her go." Levi pleaded, hoping he sounds convincing enough to let Hanji go and take him instead.
"Alright. Very good Heichou" Chris didn't released Hanji's hair nor the knife on her neck and still didn't broke the stare he has with Levi.
"You know Ackerman, you deserve pain. Know why?" Levi was stiff, carefully watching him with his every move, making sure he won't hurt Hanji. But the sight of him placing a knife on her neck is already killing him in the inside, as though just a second done and he decided to move, she'll be gone in a snap. There's no way in hell he would allow that to happen.
"Why?" he asked firmly.
"Ha! You don't even remember those people who you killed, huh?" Chris took the knife away from Hanji and placed it on the table. "Remember anything that has something to do with blood and knife, more than a decade ago?"
Levi tries to remember hard, tried to recall people who he had killed and hurt. When Chris realized that he still doesn't remember, he went in front of him and forcefully pulled his hair and pull it to the level of his face. "Can't remember anyone who looks just like me?"
Shit. This is going to be hard, Levi thought to himself.
"No" he sighed in defeat.
Chris leans into him closer, his nose barely on Levi's ears. "Remember in the underground?" Levi tries to remember. He killed a number of man who tries to threat his life and of Isabel or Farlan- Isabel. He did remembered killing a group of men when Isabel's ponytails were cut off and was hurt. He killed them all with a knife and it was pretty bloody. Was that it?
"Looks like you remembered." He smiled and pulls away. "You know Levi, these people here also doesn't like you in anyway. Right guys?"
Randomly, the people started throwing painful words at him that he needs to die, he needs to suffer and all shit. The others were shouting that they blame him for not helping them out during the missions and letting their comrades get eaten by the titans. It dawned on him, he never these amount of people were this mad at him. But as he looked at Hanji, hands tied just like him, sited and unconscious made his heart lounge again in fear. She shouldn't be held hostage too if all they wanted was just him, not her.
"And I for one, is a victim of your selfishness, Levi Ackerman." Chris continued as the others started to silence themselves down. "It was my brother who you killed that night, and he is my only refuge, the only remaining person in my life who is taking care of me, despite our the hard life that we had." Chris shuts his eyes as tears started to fall down his cheek. "I was too determined to hunt you down and put an end to you when I heard that you became a member of the Recon Corps and decided to follow you. I need to avenge the death of my brother, who got killed for only bullying a little bitch"
Levi's ears rung. First, Isabel is not a bitch but rather a loud innocent and always a hungry girl, the only thing he had close to a sister. He loves her as Hanji even adores her, even shed tears when she found out how Isabel died helplessly that night. Somehow, he too is also guilty. He knew that killing is not the answer but his over protectiveness over Isabel and his big brotherly instincts kicked in and he killed those bastards instead of just beating them down to teach them some lesson.
"So I've decided that you too should receive the same amount of pain. When I was chosen to replace you, I was greatly delighted that I could finally get my revenge on you. But then, my first plan failed, as i try to break your marriage apart. You two are pathetically insane, you're like fucking magnets and couldn't get separated at whatever cost."
"You're damn right about that" All eyes went straight to Hanji, who was now awake and answered back at Chris, voice slashing like a sword. "You'll never succeed in whatever you plan against us, Chris"
Levi's eyes widened in fear, his body tensed with uneasiness. Hanji being awake won't become a pretty good idea. She'll just attract all the threats to her even more.
"Looks like our Danchou is awake." He made his towards her and caressed her cheek. She responded by taking her face as far as she can, shivering as she blinks back tears. She feels like she is being molested as Chris tries touches her cheeks.
"Now, now Danchou, I want you to see how weak and helpless your dearest, fucking bastard husband is" and he laughs as his hands made its way towards Hanji's thighs. She screamed and tried to kick him but only made him laugh harder.
Levi glanced with great disgust and sworn he wouldn't die without taking Chris to his death bed too. "Don't you fucking touch her!" and wiggled his hands. He hopes for his mechanical arm to break through the rope but still couldn't because it was fucking tied hard.
"Aw, is Heichou getting angry because he's getting jealous?"
"Fucking bastard!"
He turned to face Hanji again and started talking. "You know, I want to make you feel broken so bad that I told Danchou of your fucking time with Petra. But it seemed like nothing happened, eh Danchou?" he pierced her cheek and Hanji removed her face on his grip, tears forming in her eyes. "I know it hurt you Danchou, but I just can't understand why you are still with him. When you said until the end of the world, then I'll end your world and see if your words are true" Chris licked his lips, looking devilish.
Levi's chest tightened when Hanji looked at him with uneasiness and sees her about to cry. She's hurting again, tears forming always because of him. Why can't he let be the source of happiness, be the haven as she is for him and smile everytime she's with him? He can't bear to see her like this, and wanted to apologize even before he dies.
"You know Danchou, if only you separated from him, this won't need to happen. Once you got out of his life, he is to be left broken forever but you didn't so I have this as my plan B of course, and this, it won't fail." He smiled wickedly as Hanji blink back the tears from her eyes. Maybe she should have just indeed separated from Levi and things should have been alright, Levi wouldn't need to endure the pain he is having now. She's smarter than this, she can still get their normal lives back if only she separated herself from Levi then have Chris out of the Recon Corps then she could pursue Levi again. But it didn't happened and she's too late.
Levi lowered his head and sighed in defeat. "Just… don't hurt her, and I'll let you do whatever you want to me."
The tall man chuckled, can't believe that he is already having his sweet revenge and that Levi has got nothing to do to him. "You have my word Captain, but I want Danchou to witness how you die slowly" Hanji hysterically squirmed on her chair as Chris resumed his maniac kind of glare and slowly looked at Levi once again. "I wish you a great journey to hell, Heichou" and he snapped his finger as all of the other members prepared themselves to lounge onto Levi. Before they could even do it, Hanji already burst into tears and yelled on the top her lungs, pleading to spare her husband.
"STOP! PLEASE STOP!" but they were already kicking him everywhere, others hitting him with thick wood as the other one even managed to hit him hard on the forehead with a metal pipe, making him bleed instantly. He didn't shout or tried to get out because if he fought back, Hanji will get killed in a flash, and he can't let that happen. He has to endure this pain for her, even if he loses his own life.
He may be the world's strongest soldier and shit but fuck, all the hitting on his body hurt like hell. He could perfectly hear Hanji screaming, pleading with all of her might as she sobs. He wanted to tell her that it's okay, that everything's going to be alright after the beatings. As long as they don't touch her, as long as they don't hurt her, he wouldn't ask for anything anymore. He would rather get beat into a pulp than to have Hanji tortured to death because of him.
The beatings came fast to every part of his body. A kick into the stomach, a hard whack on the head until he bleed, he got his right leg sprained when they hit it hard on its ball and socket, and they even tried to remove his prosthetics parts so bad that it started to get swollen to its connecting muscles. His totally fading away, but the way Hanji's smiling face flash into his mind, eyes wide and beautiful, so peaceful. He wanted to get up and it made him feel a bit sturdy somehow. He didn't want to die without a fight, but he has no other choice or else Hanji will suffer his consequences.
"Is this what you want? To kill the man who is the only hope of humanity? Who would save mankind if Levi's gone?" Hanji desperately yelled to all of them, echoing inside the room. "You can't even save even one of your comrades, and you dare torture the only who can save us? What kind of selfish people are you!?" She was angry and crying, tears falling fast on her cheeks as her jaw tightens. It may seem to have an effect since some of the torturers were already stopping, and Chris didn't liked it.
Levi looked up in response, hardly seeing her since his eyes were already horribly hit and are now swollen. He could see that Chris didn't liked what Hanji was doing as her words were already taking effect on the people beside Levi, as Chris made his way towards Hanji and pulled her up by the hair causing her to scream in pain.
Some of the torturers shouted that "Danchou is to be spared as promised!"
"No you shit heads! Even if she was spared, she'll have you killed in the process for killing her fucking husband!" Chris responds back, placing a knife under her chin.
"You shut up, or I'll cut your throat" he whispers to her.
"Shut up Hanji, I got this. You don't need to do shit" Levi yells to her, face down on the floor, blood tickling down from his head to his face and hands now released but can no longer stand up. Every muscle of his feels so heavy and numb from the beatings he can't even make sure if he can still feel them at all nor determined if they are still there attached in his body.
A tear rolled down on Hanji's cheek as she watched in horror, seeing that she can't help Levi and wanted to run beside him but then she bounced back when she heard Mike screaming on the door, banging it with his whole might. Maybe he heard what was happening inside, Hanji thought. "Hanji! We're going to bust this door down!" and immediately, a hard bang was already being heard on the door, endlessly being beaten down.
The torturers stood straight, fearing of what may happen next. They didn't expect to fail this bad, and they started to shout and make advances towards Chris, shouting at him, preparing to hit him too.
"You promised us that we would get our revenge!" one shouted.
The door went down as Levi was able to stand up on his knees, seeing everything goes fast, making him dizzy. "Fuck!" Chris exclaimed as he sees the commotion of his failed plans.
Once Mike, Erwin and a few others was able to bring the door down and made entrance Chris tightened his hold onto Hanji and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "You've won Danchou, but I won't go defeated for sure" he tells her as Hanji tries to struggle under his hold.
By his words, Hanji understands immediately but she too didn't want to go defeated. "If you plan on killing me then fine, but promise me not to harm him anymore Chris" she tells him, voice wobbly. She has no other choice and prays for him to understand.
Chris laughed bitterly and kissed her cheek. "Of course danchou, one last death wish eh? You sure are interesting" he whispers to her ear. "All I wanted was for him to feel the same suffering that I did and maybe killing him is a wrong way of taking revenge so maybe killing you would be better."
Hanji tried to struggle a bit to check if she could still break lose but she failed so she closes her eyes and tells herself, the possible child that is developing inside her to forgive her as well.
"Ackerman!" Chris shouted and Levi immediately looked at him in horror as he witness Chris grabbed Hanji by the head and pulled her onto his mighty grip. His heart is running wild within his chest while Chris smiled gorgeously as ever, making Levi feel more frightened of what is to come.
"Feel the pain of losing the most important person in your life! And you my dear Danchou, as you die, remember how Levi Fucking Ackerman fucked that girl hard when you were in there waiting for him! Just so you know, he wanted to do it again to someone just like her, everyone knew about that!" he laughed maniacally as he hold Hanji tight.
Levi's heart stopped on what he had said and saw how Hanji's expression became too painful to see. A tear rolled down on her cheek, making Levi felt guilty over his past sin. Levi felt horrible again, he never wanted to be reminded and most of all, Hanji to be reminded of that fucking night and now he is sure that she is hurt again by having to remember it. And he was right, Hanji was again affected by those words, triggering bad memories to come and haunt her in a bad time.
Hanji was also confused with Chris' words, she wonders if he is lying again or not. But then she turned her gaze towards the people circling them and they all nodded their heads. That made a big fat tear roll down her cheek slowly, scared that Chris might be telling the truth. He did told her a painful truth before, this time it might be another one. She didn't want to believe but with all the commotion going on, she didn't know what to do or what to believe in anymore. It was hard on her and she wanted everything to be done.
Before Mike or Erwin could run towards Chris, before Levi could even breathe again, Chris impaled Hanji on her abdomen, making her eyes closed in pain as Chris gave her another hit on the left part of her abdomen and lastly, on her upper hip and threw her harshly on the ground. She blinked back tears but didn't have them fall on her face.
Hanji didn't fought back even if she knew that Chris is about to kill her and instead, looked away from Levi and closed her eyes, embracing death. She's too tired, tired of hurting, tired of facing the same bad memories and tired of running away. It hit her hard in the head, what if Levi does the same thing again? She knows she can separate with him completely but it will surely hurt like hell. Was she even the only woman he loves right now? Until now, she realized that she hasn't totally forgiven him with his infidelity, fearing that he might do it again. Trust is a huge thing for her, and he broke that even if they still tried to fix it, it just won't get back to the way it was before. They make mistakes and argue sometimes but were able to fix every bit of it. She found herself fighting desperately over his painful lie that he kept until they got married for more than a year and yet no matter how many times she thought of leaving him, she finds herself yearning for him.
With much confusion in her head, hope and strength losing, adding up with the pain, hurt and sadness that she sees as Levi gets beaten to death, she loses the will to live and wanted to surrender but most of all, Chris kept his word of keeping Levi alive, making her accepting her fate, there's no turning back now. The world needs him than her and it'll better if she dies rather than him. It would be her or him.
Levi didn't know if he was drugged or hallucinating, but all he can think of was that he hoped he was just having some fucking nightmare, and he would eventually wake up beside Hanji, drooling on his prosthetic arm, breathing slowly, alive and well.
Mike lounge onto Chris as the others who came with him and Erwin and very few people he gathered were able to arrest Levi's torturers as Erwin came to Hanji's side, cutting the rope on her hands as Levi, still with the amount of pain still on his body waking him up, run towards Hanji even with his sprained leg. He ignored the pain, blood and swollen parts of his body, but he can't get rid of the ripping pain in his heart.
Levi's heart race together with his feet as he run towards Hanji. He can't think of anything straight or pull something good out of his brain.
He's scared, more than scared as Erwin hands Hanji to his arms, bleeding like no tomorrow. Her blood was pouring fast from her body, and Levi didn't know what to do but to carry her, cradle her on his arms.
What kind of husband is he? He just watched him stab her three times?
"Hanj…" Levi's tears were already on the roll, some even falling on Hanji's face as he cradles her very carefully in his arms.
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…" she started to murmur absently, thinking of the other alternate possibility of not having this kind of unfortunate event for them.
"Don't believe in any word he says, none of them were fucking true." He choked, not knowing that crying will actually make him stutter when he speaks. "You are the only one for me Hanji, the only one who can share my body with in my life, so please don't; you won't leave me again right?" Hanji was having difficulty breathing but still managed to give him a weak smile at the same time she apologized. "It's not true, not of it were. That mistake was the very first and the very fucking last, I'm in the right state of mind not to repeat it again. I swear Hanj, I fucking swear…." Hanji gave him a very weak smile and swayed her head, confuses him completely if she means that she doesn't believe what he is saying to her or just not to think about it anymore.
Somehow, it made him feel that she meant both.
As though she haven't heard him or didn't want to believe him, she didn't have any time to argue with again. She spoke what she desired to say, tossing away a proper answer from his pleas.
"Hey sexy butt… looks like I won't be able to hang around any much longer huh?" Levi panic as Hanji's eyes becomes wet while Levi took his remaining clothing and tries to cover her open parts. No matter how much he tried to contain the blood coming out of her, it still continues to come out like a dam.
"Looks like you'll be living on your own now Levi" she tried to smile, but it made her heart beat in a sad and hurtful manner. Somehow, Hanji knew she's about to go soon and hopes that her absence will make things clear for Levi, that maybe he'd live better without her. She doesn't even know if she's being too strict or too possessive or whatever shit to Levi and now, she hoped that he will live a better life. He might even find a better wife who would teach and show him more about love and start anew.
Theirs were tainted already and needed to end.
"You don't fucking say that! You don't fucking say that you hear me!" Levi's voice was already wobbling from the sobs. He have to save her, he has to find a way. "You won't die Shitty Glasses! You will just won't fucking die!"
Hanji breathes in deep and slow and slowly stretched a hand on Levi's face, caressing his cheek very, very weakly with the end of her fingers. Her touch was soft and light that it made Levi realized that he would want more of that from her. "I'm sorry I was not able to be that much of a great wife to you, Levi" Levi was caught off guard by what she had said. What does she mean by that? She never failed him, she never gave up on him and here she was, apologizing to him when he has more reasons why that he should apologize instead of her. "I wasn't that entertaining at all."
That made him realize that she believe the fucking maniac and thought that he is right and might cheat on her again. Unable to let out an answer, he shouted on some brats to get some help and give him bandages or something that could stop Hanji's bleeding abdomen. He took his bloody shirt off and looked for any piece of material in his hands and wrapped it on her, it doesn't seem to work. "Fuck!" he yelled and threw it on the floor.
He looked up to Hanji and she swayed her head lightly back and forth, slightly smiling at him. He knew what she was telling him, and he does still not believe in it.
"Don't you fucking give up on me Shitty Glasses! You never gave up on me!" he shouted as her lips trembled with fear, can no longer produce any sound or word or some sort and gurgled out a few blood from her mouth, coughing it out. He gazed over her stabbed parts and realized that Chris was able to crush her insides as he stabbed her, turning the knife inside of her abdomen and upper hip, crushing it deeper on her, deadening her inner organs.
Levi shivered as he saw blood came out from her mouth and inched her towards him. He closed his eyes and lowered his forehead to hers, thinking of the past days that they just shared, just like that night on the grounds. "You said we'll die together right? You promised me that right!? Then what the fuck are you doing Hanji!" He embraced her tightly, guilty that she might even find it more difficult to breathe but he needs to place her on his embrace, to tell her that he won't give the hell up no matter what, no matter how hopeless it is, just like she did for him, scared that he might no longer embrace her when she can still breathe on his cheeks.
Hanji gulped hard and breathed as much as she can, her breathings were shallow and fast. "Continue to live on, have little Clean Freaks and continue the bloodline of the World's Strongest Soldier..." her voice was cracking and fading slowly she nuzzled her nose on his cheeks and ear, remembering the possiblity that she might be carrying his kid.
Levi sobbed even harder as tears fell faster, making everyone look at the struggling couple silently and helplessly, knowing it'll be the end of theirs. Others wanted to laugh a bit since he sounded like some weird duck crying but the scene was too tragic to laugh at and instead, the others were also already shedding a few tears of knowing what will happen next.
Levi realizes that she's trying to hold on for her final breaths, her final minutes with him. He sobbed like a kid, shouting on top of his lungs as he looked at her deep in the eyes, hoping she can still see him so she won't give up. The way he cried will make anyone laugh but the way they looked as they suffer cannot fail to make anyone's heart be broken into pieces.
"No! How can I live on if you're no longer with me Hanj! You're the only one who can give me little Clean Freaks, mini World's Strongest Soldier and even little Shitty Glasses! No one else! No fucking else!" Hanji didn't respond but coughed, breathing quickly as more blood came out of her mouth and abdomen that has already also flooded Levi's hand on her waist with blood.
The sight of tremendous blood on Hanji makes Levi wanted to die together with her, but her words are stopping him from doing so. Hanji smiled up to him, locking eyes as she touched his cheek with barely little energy left to use with her fingertips. He looked at her sweet brown chocolate eyes, and sworn that it was still alive as ever. He can't bear not to see those same eyes, comforting him in midst of anger and of horrible sadness.
As though the time crawled, he wanted to remember her very final scene of saying the words he wanted to hear after their reconciliation, three words that he had longed for and never heard of after they separated and reconciled. And then, there it was, short, simple and on top most, sincere, only for him. She wanted to remind him.
"I love you" she whispers by her bloody spurting mouth as she blinked twice as she inhaled. She gave him one last sweet smile, telling him quietly, hoping that he will understand, that everything is going to be alright. Then with her last final exhale of air, her eyes slowly shuts down and her hand fell on her stomach, curling on top of it.
She wanted to tell him that she planned and will eagerly love him even if it's too painful for her already, but she wasn't able to say so. Instead, she did managed to show him that she loved him up to death, and that was enough and hoped he knew.
Levi didn't seem to accept of what is happening and shook his head hard.
He shook her slowly and looked at her face, hoping she'll open her eyes and look at him again. "Hanji wake up, you still need to go with me back home" he embraced her tighter, his face buried on her neck as he crushed her now turning cold body on his warm embrace. He remembered the roses and the surprise and extra special dinner that he was supposed to prepare for her, and now he doesn't know what to them with them if she will not wake up.
"Hanji you need to wake up, wake the fuck up Hanj!" and he shakes her, trying to look on her serene and peaceful face, looking for any sign of movement, any sign of hope that she is still alive. He shook her by the shoulders but seeing that she didn't moved, he howl even deeper, returning his face on her neck, crushing her into his tight embrace.
Nothing moved.
No little movement from her face came, and Levi sadly buried his face on her, forehead glued to her cold one, letting his right hand caress her cheek, tears endlessly falling. He traced her nose, her eyes and her lips. "Come back Hanji... come back..." he whimpers as he let out all the tears he has saved since he was little. "You promised you won't die before me, you promised..." he traced her eyes and nose down to her lips, wishing desperately that it will move under his finger.
"Hanji... please.." he begged and cradled her.
He was still hoping that she'll hear him and tries to come back, but the only thing that he could see changing is how her body is turning cold so fast. He placed his ear on her chest, and the silence on it was no reason for him to stop crying and rejoice. The same sweet rhythm and beating of her heart was no longer there to be the sweet music on his ears.
With nothing much left to do, he didn't break the embrace on her cold body, face glued on her chest, arms locked in her body. Erwin and Mike told the others to head out of the laboratory. Everyone looked at him apologetically and with pity. They perfectly knew how Hanji was his only remaining person in his life that no matter what happens, will be there for him. They have decided to leave Levi alone with the now dead Hanji on his arms, or else the death toll might increase if they forced him to go. Moblit was taken into the medical ward since he doesn't seem to wake up but is still fortunately breathing.
Levi was the only one left alone inside the dark, cold laboratory with his dead, bloody wife in his tight embrace.
-x-
Yeah well, I know, I'm sorry I only updated today. I thought of finishing the second very prequel to this one and thought that that should better be finished first than this one, even if I had already finished this one last September I believe. So I am afraid I'll have the next chapter be uploaded a bit later after this because I am almost done with the second prequel of this one (The first one before the Because Proposing is fcking Hard fic), yeah that's the one I am finishing so yeah, I hope you understand what I am blabbering about here.
Aside from that, I have been taking online classes and doing my internship so I really had a hard time focusing on my fics lately :'(
Anyway, all thanks and love for reading and supporting this fic :')
thanks for the follow and favorite, itachi girl 88 :) (I thought I was the only girl of Itachi :'( ), Emmaleen Haddock and Troublesome-monkey-dono
keep on rockin'! :D