I Never Wanted to Live Without You

by ladyinblack08

When Levi had the balls to propose and marry Hanji Zoe, they were both happier than what they have expected and found their love getting stronger. But not all marriages are perfect as they face a horrible past sin and found themselves struggling to keep their marriage alive.

8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Ghost of You

-x-

Title from My Chemical Romance song with the same name. The song tells it all and I feel that it is tremendously close to this chapter, or the entire story even.

Anyway, have fun reading.

-x-

Rose was told to shut her eyes under the bandages that she has on her eyes for almost a week so the healing and mending of the transplant would be properly done. Afterwards, she was told to take a couple of medicine as well as a few drop of ointments for her skin bruises on her face and that will help her see clearly again.

Mr. Lopez was one of the very first one to witness his daughter's new eyes and the very first time she opens them and see the world around her after she enough time to had her eyes rest and complete its healing. Tears of joy immediately filled the old man's eyes and hugged his daughter quickly and tightly. She firsts see blur amount of lights until she made a progress, focusing clearly on things until she can see things perfectly well. It took her almost a month to have a complete a hundred percent full recovery and clear eye vision.

The first time she sees herself completely in front of a mirror, she held her face and observed how she looked like, touched her hair, traces the features of her face, taps her body then observed everyone around her, though her huge mark of surgery was still there, a bruise, now she knows what it looks like. She was very excited and wanted to see the everything, from inside of the hospital to outside, even if she still doesn't have that completely clear eye sight yet. By the days pass by, her eye sight gets even better and clearer.

It was news to Levi that Rose had already opened her eyes when she was already having almost a week of recovery, where her eyesight were already fifty percent clear. At first, he felt excited and happy for the young girl but as he drew nearer to her home, he feels tensed. It made him shiver badly that those same beautiful eyes that he is about to see now belongs to a new, younger body.

But he's got to do this.

Levi was warmly welcomed in the Lopez household, the maid assisting him with everything until he was met by Mr. Lopez himself with a huge smile on his face and immediately embraced him.

"Captain" the older man mumbles, "please, please come in! We are so honored to finally have you here in our home. Please do make yourself feel at home!"

Home.

Home is only with her,he thought but didn't let that interfere with his day. He followed Mr. Lopez up to where Rose is and along his way, he can't help but admire their entire home. It feels really comfy, just right after two days of travelling just to get in their home in Wall Sina from the HQ of the Recon Corps. It was a mansion, he believes, so huge that about twenty titans or more would actually fit inside. If only she was in here, she might crazily ask Mr. Lopez' permission to hide all the titans that she wanted to study in here.

A small light smile crawled his face.

He misses her and her behavior when it comes to studying titans. She sure is the only one who has a passion for studying those huge humanoid freaks.

A huge loud bumps in Levi's heart suddenly started when they stopped right in front of the bedroom door of Rose. "Here we are" Mr. Lopez says, "Rose was actually waiting to see you Captain!" The old man was a bit high in tone and Levi can't help himself but just smirk. "I hope you would be happy as I was too Captain, I really can't thank you that much"

Levi nodded at the older man, eyeing him carefully as could see those tears of joy still intact of his eyes. Seeing this old man right in front of him made him feel a bit more relaxed, since he doesn't really know what to expect once he sees Rose.

Levi had also talked about the high possibility of Rose wearing glasses since the eyes that she would be receiving is not pretty much in good condition. Nevertheless, the father adn daughter were still eager to have it for Rose even if she is to wear glasses.

"Please Captain, you may enter" Mr. Lopez tells him, opens the door and waves his hand for him to enter.

Everything was white in color and totally blinding, most especially the windows are open, letting the curtains wave wildly in front of the massive sun light entering the room. There were a color of brown that is present around the room and very little color of pink. The colors blends pretty where Levi even thought that he is on a bed of white roses, most especially the bed which is also white in color, the brown colored decorations around the room like the trunks of trees and stems of plants and the pink colored decorations like roses. The room was even made more heavenly when the ray of sun light lightens and warms the entire room.

Levi immediately felt cozy and warm, until he finally sees Rose for the first time.

"Captain Levi!" Rose pronounces higlhly for Levi's ears to bear.

The girl run open arms towards Levi and jumped on him and as if on cue, Levi caught her in his arms, his arms suddenly stretching out without even being thought off.

"I am so happy to finally see you Captain!" she exclaims.

Still on arms to arms and enough distance, Levi saw how her eyes are healing from a bruise below her eyes, as though she was struck right on the face. But then, he was more than shocked to see those same eyes again, caramel brown warm orbs, twinkling with hope and life.

Her eyes.

Hanji's eyes.

"How do I look captain? Do I look alright?" She asked wildly while her father looked at them with worry.

"Now, now Rosy, don't be too reckless. You are still not that allowed to move too much" her father muttered.

"But father, I am completely alright! The doctor is just too much, thinking I am weak I cannot handle the after effects of the surgery." She said giggling.

"Alright but don't surprise the captain that sudden!" Just then, the father and daughter looked at the captain before them.

Levi cannot believe he is seeing them again. He was held captive within those precious orbs, his mouth a bit parted and breath becoming ragged. His eyes narrowed and then softened as well. He could feel his lips twitching, which is not good so he bit his lip, need to control his emotions in front of these people.

Those eyes, the very same eyes that had seen him cry, smile, happy and sad. The very same eyes that had witnessed his every part of his body, from the moment he wakes up to the moment he sleeps. It was also those same eyes that had shed tears for him, flashed an incredible amount of delight and smiled

He found himself staring too hard on those same eyes that he didn't know how much seconds has already tickled before he realized that it was already more than a minute or two. His hands even crept on Rose's innocent beautiful face and made the girl gasped of the sudden cupped of her cheeks by the Captain.

Her eyes suddenly grew worried and flashed a bit of scared right in front of Levi's grey orbs. That made him wake up from his deep attention into those same eyes. Frankly, it sort of scared the poor girl that she made a few steps backward when she saw Levi was already back in reality.

"Are you alright Captain?" she asked.

Levi sealed his lisp tightly as he can, his eyes twitching uncontrollably as well as his hands started to tremble. He managed to gaze back at Rose and directly into her eyes but withdrawn and looked at Mr. Lopez instead, nodding many times.

"I'm alright" he assures them. "I am just really glad you can see now. Please do take care of them." Without any other word, he left with the father and daughter's eyes staring at his retreating form with worry.

-x-

Levi still managed to talk things out to Erwin regarding his punishments for beating the young soldiers and was suspend for a month in service. Within those days of his suspension, he managed to prepare Rose in entering and enlisting herself as a soldier, which he also managed to talk over with Erwin and he approves, knowing of Rose's desires of being a soldier and cannot afford to turn her down. It was great timing since Rose is already having an almost full month rest after her surgery and that she was able to bid farewell with her dear father.

Mr. Lopez was kind enough to allow his daughter to stay with Levi for a while and have her training, despite knowing of Levi's background and his recent reason for being suspended. When he and Levi talked about it and Levi suddenly asked the older man why he entrust Rose to him, all he can say is that "I only trust my instincts Levi and my instincts tells me that I can trust you." He said firmly, eyes serious as he answered.

Levi was grateful and vowed to protect Rose whatever it may take and to make her a strong yield soldier. There was awkwardness at first due to the fact that Levi cannot look straight into Rose's new eyes and whenever he does look at her straight in the eyes, he flushes and trembles, sometimes cannot even talk straight. Rose, being a sweet young girl does her best to remove the awkwardness away between them. Rose will tend to laugh away eerie silences between them and gives him a sweet smile to assure him that she is okay. Before she goes to sleep, she gives Levi a warm light embrace and thanks him for the day. Levi may still have problems looking at her straight in the eye but she wouldn't mind and helps him pull his shit together.

Levi didn't had a hard time training her, as he had trained Isabel before and Rose is not far from Isabel. Much to his surprise, Rose was a really competitive young lass. Even with her very feminine body and demure gestures, she managed to push through everyday's training of three to five hours straight. She may get tired at some point but it was not enough to stop her. Any kind of difficult tasks that he gives her, she does it with her very best. Rose does not know how to give up exactly and even gets mad if she feels like Levi is taking her lightly. He even thought that she really does look nice and cute when her blood goes up and makes her cheeks pink to red, a perfect blend for her pearl white skin. As their day passes everyday, the two developed a strong mentor-apprentice bond that Levi would have been happy and proud of.

Rose didn't seemed to be bothered by the sudden change of environment and home which had Levi worried since she is used with a lavish lifestyle that is a huge difference to his. She did showed how she adapts well and is not choosy or any of some sort and after how many months, which is already more or less a year now of having Levi's home painfully dull and dead, had some warm awakening and atmosphere because of the sudden appearance of Rose. She would tend to go back and forth casually, cooking food for Levi, helping him clean and shop for needs. Levi was very happy that she is not a shitty rich brat.

Levi never didn't want to show how weak he is into this young girl but everytime he sees her eyes, he can't but wobble and freak out in the inside. The image of Hanji smiling back at him just like Rose makes his nostrils flare and heart sunk with sadness. He really misses her a lot.

To make it worse, Rose and Hanji were pretty much alike in most things. Rose is fond of reading books and would always hold a book anywhere, most especially that she can now read like any other normal teenagers does and would practice reading as fast as she can as she enjoys what she is reading, her long brown wavy hair, except Hanji's in a ponytail, their shitty attitude of not giving up so easily and curious of most things, always asking questions and their desire to help and end the reign of the Titans. The only thing different between them is that Hanji is more experienced with lots of things in the world and that Rose is more feminine than Hanji, even in their body framework and movements. But Levi always thought that his wife had always had a feminine body whenever she is naked and now sees that Rose is also forming her body into a more hard built than before, and Rose seemed that she really loved how her body turns manly as she would always tell Levi. What seems to be unexplained is that Rose is more or less has the same height with Hanji, he figures. As he stares up to her, he just knows that they share almost the very same height.

Thinking about it, Levi never let Rose come near into his bedroom that he shares with Hanji, where most of her books are stored. He always wanted to share it to her because he is sure that Rose will love them and automatically read them by heart. He had debated this thought for a long time and as he sees Rose run an hour every morning, lift things that he believes she actually couldn't, swim for hours along the lake back and forth, pull heavy things that are not recommendable for her soft hands, and even cleaning the shitty stables of their horses and planting vegetables that will dirty her the most.

One day, he sees Rose planting flowers and realized that she loved flowers as well. Then he remembers her.

He called for Rose to come inside the house and lead her into a room where she is not aware of. Rose was a bit shuddered by it since she had always respected the man who is training her and had helped her a lot to reach her dreams, even if she found out his dark past and who he really was. He himself said it to her but she didn't mind at all, she was even thankful that he is being honest to her. She also learned how to properly control her tongue and curiosity to its proper level when it comes to her late dead wife, knowing what behavior to apply, even if sometimes she can't help but really ask him of what she may be like. She had always wanted to thank her for her eyes, for knowing that there are still issues like illnesses and problems aside from the titans that his wife had never forgotten. She was also interested to know her, find out what she is like to make Captain Levi really sad and love her eternally.

With much of Rose's stay at Levi's home, she never failed to see the sadness running onto him, even if he is raising his voice at her everytime she believes she can't meet his standards when he is training her to become a soldier. Sometimes, she would suddenly see Levi clutching a piece of paper and placing it inside of his shirt then carefully tracing it, like it was too valuable for him. Most of the time, whenever they will lock stares then Levi's eyes will soften and will immediately look away, his wobbly figure and voice not escaping Rose's eyes. She can't help but feel really sad for him, he must have miss his wife a lot. She never thought of asking him and instead waited for him to say or talk about it if he wanted to.

That is why she was very shocked when he brought her inside of Levi and his late wife's bedroom. She was greeted with a plain old looking bed with a bedside table, shelves full of books, a table and few windows with curtains. Rose's lips turned down, wondering why. Something within the room was extremely making her feel so sad, she figures it is because of the dim light that the room has.

Her eyes stopped to look at the man who was staring at the paper stuck on the wall, eyes burdened with sadness. She walked towards him, even if her feet was too heavy for her to carry all of a sudden.

"Captain" she murmurs, calling his attention.

Levi turned to her direction slowly, eyes so soft and moist. Rose gasped, surprised of how he looked like, a man full of despair that she rarely sees to him.

"Rose, I want you to meet my wife, Zoe Hanji-Ackerman." He tells her, smiling lightly and caressing the face of the woman on the sketch of paper. "Hanji, this is Rose, the girl who received your eyes and I am training to become a soldier, like us."

"It's is a pleasure to meet you Ma'am" Rose says, bowing and grinned, staring at the picture.

Levi flashed the sketch in front of Rose and she can't help but smile. She figures that his wife was really pretty; sharing the same brown jolly eyes as her and glasses, her nose was cute as well. She was also smiling, and it made Rose's heart skipped a beat, it's like they share something in common.

Slowly, Levi lift the paper right on the level of his face and lightly brushed his cheek onto it, Rose can't help but smiling wearily but t the same time, pity the man. The way she sees him so sad and broken made her want to bring her back to life and return her eyes to her and thank her. Seeing her captain in this state was really making her feel horribly sad. Even the way Levi's lips curls up as he cradles the sketch of his wife made Rose feel sad for the man.

She believes that Levi is a great man who had helped a lot of people and saved a lot of lives, so why did he had to lose his wife? Rose can't help but wonder why life is so mean towards people who are actually nice.

Rose followed Levi once he set the sketch of his wife down and went towards the shelves, pulling some stuffs. He held out a small, rectangular box and pulled out thick goggles and stretched it out to Rose.

"Here, take this." Rose reluctantly took the goggles from Levi's grasp and observed it. It seemed used but still functional. Rose flashed a smile to Levi but is bothered in the inside.

"This is hers, isn't it, Captain?" she just can't stop herself from asking, she really wanted to know.

Levi nodded. "She would want you to have it. And I don't want you to lose that."

"Yes Captain"

"And that, now signifies that I would be training you with the maneuvering gear."

Rose giggled and immediately run to embrace the petite captain, jumping with joy. She was always too eager to learn the 3DMG and use it and finally feel the real essence of becoming a true soldier of humanity.

"Since your glasses will only be lost if you used it in the battlefield or everytime that you would be using the gear, those goggles will enable you to see clearly while using the gear and won't come off that easily." Levi explained. He smirked as he sees how Rose struggles to place the goggles onto her eyes and taught her how to.

Rose figures that what Levi had just gave were a set of goggles that can be easily get broken or squashed, nevertheless can be easily replaced. But as she sees how he handles it to her, like it was his life depended on them, and a pained expression that he forcedly hide on his unreadable face. She gave the goggles on her a quizzical look, and by that she knew. Sighing sadly, she realized that this is just like his very own wife who was kind enough to let her see the world. She is and would eternally be forever grateful.

She vowed that will keep this goggle safe, no matter what happens.

-x-

Before Levi goes back to his duty for the Corps, Erwin had talked to him about Chris.

"He is to be executed" he informs Levi as the shorter man drink his cup of tea, staring blankly at the nearby window of the commander's room- his wife's former office. The times where he usually picks her up to go home together, her waiting by the table, whether she is sitting on top of her table like what a commander should do (she still does not caring of what others will say since Levi loved seeing her that way once he fetches her inside her office) or by her table's chair. Remembering how she would ask how his day was, a huge grin on her face, just for him- the pain was coming inside of him again.

"Levi" Erwin's voice lowered, echoing within the emptiness of the room. "Do you have any plans with Chris before he is to be executed? The supreme commander was the first one to think it through and didn't even had any sign of changing his decision."

Levi kept silent and drinking his tea, only eyeing the man once then back to the window, looking at the horizon. Somehow, Levi was wondering if she too is seeing the same beautiful scenery as well.

Erwin sighed as he looked over Levi. "Chris made out a terrible degree of commotion in our legion, and he should be atone for every little thing that he had brought forth to us all." Erwin thought of how they shouldn't easily trust their soldiers, since the ones who turned almost got him killed brought all of them a lesson and had forced him to send them to forced suspension and others be even sent to military police.

Levi stood up from his seat and placed the empty cup of tea on top of the table.

"I'll see him die tomorrow" was the only thing he said and exits his commander's room.

-x-

The next day came easily, much to Levi's lack of sleep at night, he still seemed very focus on what he wanted to see and do for the day.

Chris was brought before the eyes of the Recon Corps, some of the military police and the garrison as well as the higher ups. They were all broken of losing the brain of the Recon Corps and the greatest aid for humanity and they wanted to witness how he would die.

Levi saw the murderer of his wife, and could swear his blood boiling. He had taken her away, and he wanted to torture him first before they hang him outside for the townspeople to witness as well. Chris looked like a total maniac, laughing hysterically, lost weight and Levi even thought that he smelled like shit as he was dragged forcefully by two men.

Well, he is a huge big ass shit, he tells himself.

He had his hands handcuffed and placed in between the pole just like Eren before and laughed at everyone staring at him. He stopped laughing for a while when he saw the chief commander staring at him.

His charges were mentioned and of the recall of what had happened, his plans were exposed, which is to kill Levi, as well as the witnesses points and charges against him were all said first before finally telling him that he is to be hanged outside in the middle of the afternoon of the same day. Chris only laughed and yelled how exited he was.

The people snorted in disgust, most especially Levi. His gritting his teeth, jaw clenched tightly and his right fist was curled into a hard ball. He wanted to slaughter the man and he already has a list of ways how to kill him slowly and painfully that he would regret that he even lived in this world.

Once Chris saw Levi staring back at him, he finally calmed down but the ever devilish smirk never left his face.

"Any last thing you wanted to say before you die, Chris?" the chief commander asked.

Chris laughed momentarily at first. "Of course 'ol great chief!" Chris pointed at Levi who was already having difficulty containing the anger inside of him.

"That man right there is not just a murderer, he is also a cheater! He maybe small but he is a terrible, terrible adulterer just as he is a great soldier! I tell all of you who are inside of this very room, that you should have thank me for setting your Hanji Danchou free from all the pain she is feeling inside of her. The reason why she was too focused and into her job is because she wanted to get rid of every horrible memory she has with Levi Heichou!"

Whispers started and grew like fire while some eyes flown towards Levi and looked at him disgustingly. They had all found out of what he had done but thought it was just a rumor at first. But now that Chris is here to prove the rumors to be right, some were already realizing of what Levi really is and started thinking twice of Chris' offenses.

Levi's nostrils flared with anger coming from his heart pushing through his lungs, breathing started to become heavy and uncoordinated. He ignored all those words and whispers that he has been hearing from the people around him because he knows that it's a waste of time if he will acknowledge them one by one. Besides, they don't know the truth.

Thinking about it, isn't what he said the truth?

From his reason why he wanted to kill Levi in the first place and about other else things, most especially the part where the bastard had actually helped Hanji be freed from all the possible pain she is feeling because of Levi.

Levi was too scared to admit it but-

A jab fell right on Chris' face and blood immediately spurted out from his nose and when a kick meet his face, his mouth choked out another spill of blood. Levi wanted to crush him. He was the reason why she was gone, the reason why he had lost the will to live and explore life to its fullest. The bastard serves it right and he doesn't' care if everyone sees him slaughtering the bastard to death and if there are more nasty rumors about him or if he gets suspended again, all he wanted was to avenge the death of his wife.

He is the main reason why he can't kiss her anymore nor crush her in an embrace or even let her feel how important she is to him, and failed to make her realize that she is the only remaining one for him to hold on to. Closing his eyes and remembering how she smiles at him and hugs while showering him with kisses made his heart tremble in pain and disgust.

He was about to slam his head and mechanical arm to Chris when Mike interfered, held his strong mechanical arm while the other was being held Erwin. Levi strongly struggled under their hold. Erwin called out for others as well to help them stop Levi and drag him back to where he is seat but in the middle of returning to where he is seated, he has been shouting like mad at Chris.

"You don't fucking know anything! You don't know shit about her or us!" he yelled out, anger taking all over him. "I'll slaughter you! You son of a bitch! You're the reason why she is gone! You're the murderer yo- stop touching me!"

Levi tried to shove Erwin and the rest away but he find it really hard to escape with almost ten men trying to stop him. He kicked and pushed but more men came running to give them aid. They are all seemed aware of how Chris wanted to torment Levi even more with horrible memories.

Levi was then thrown to the dungeon again until he calms his self down while Chris was executed in the towns center where everyone watched in vengeance for killing their beloved Danchou. Others even threw rocks at him before he was hanged to his death. Before he dies, he was screaming not in agony but in joy and the soldiers watch in disgust as he yells that he 'wins!' and 'your captain will now feel what it is like to suffer in endless pain'

The chief commander attended to Levi at his cell where he was curled like a helpless kid, soundless sobs and tears falling from his completely smutted eyes. The chief commander had never saw the small captain this way and he can't help but look at him with pity.

"Levi" he muttered, holding onto his cell block. "I may not know what it is like to lose a wife and I may not completely understand your pain completely but I want you to know that nobody blames you, and that you shouldn't listen with what you may here from other people."

Levi didn't moved but hugged himself tighter. The sobbing stopped but his heart was still aching so bad and he can't hit himself right now to make it stop, not in front of the chief commander. "I have great trust in you Levi so I am letting you free once night time comes. That beautiful young girl that you are training with came earlier today and she was extremely worried."

Without a heartbeat, Levi stood up and run towards the chief commander and held on his shirt, alarming the five nearby guards. If it's not for the rail between them, he would have run. Levi didn't looked like he would spare his life as well. "If anything happens to Rose, I swear I'll-"

"Calm down Levi. No one's going to harm her. She was just checking on you and we told her that you are to go home at night"

He calmed down and sat at the right corner of the cell and shut his eyes. The chief commander sighed and went away.

As the chief commander goes on his way back, he can't help but want to kill Levi as well so he could finally join Hanji but humanity still needs him and they can't set him free just yet. But the way he sees him struggling and crying his heart out, looking like the most helpless man inside the walls made him want to end his life as well, even if he knew how valuable Levi is for humanity.

-x-

After Levi was back after the suspension and preparing Rose for enlisting herself for the Corps which was pretty much just on time because he was just informed by Erwin himself that the recruiting night just happened two nights ago where they successfully recruited one third of the year's trainee corps. Erwin didn't doubted Levi and the girl when he told him that he trained her himself so there won't be any need of having her undergo the first part of training of becoming a soldier (and he didn't like Shadis giving Rose a hard fucking time) and go directly enlisting into the Corps. Erwin too, ignored the fact that the girl trained only a month under Levi compared to others' four years of training.

Today, he was expecting a normal routine to go back to its usual thing to happen inside the HQ. Unfortunately, the taller, young and beautiful girl behind him that he can't afford to hide was dragging all eyes onto them, most especially to Rose. Levi gritted his teeth a bit uncomfortably, feeling his teeth rather degrading. All of those wolf whistle and sudden halting movements of almost everyone when they pass by are really bothering him.

Rose in return gives everyone a warm smile and a half nod of acknowledgement to those uncontrollable guys who can't help themselves out. Even the girls seemed really amazed of seeing her, lips parted while the others' eyes widened in seeing her. Others even mumbled that 'an angel is following Heichou' while the others are wondering that 'why is there an angel following Heichou', making Levi even more irritated.

"Don't even think about talking with them Rose" he says without even looking at her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her as fast as he can as they walk. He swear he wanted to pull each of their teeth out so they couldn't give her a wolf smile.

They arrived at Erwin's office and introduced Rose to Erwin, looking good as new and he was just ecstatic seeing her. Rose was very eager to meet the commander, her smiling tiring her face but she didn't care. Erwin was rather glad and overwhelmed of her eagerness in meeting him, shaking his hands gently as he can, fearing he might break her bones.

"I got to tell you Levi, this young girl right here is really attractive and charming. Are you really sure that she can handle being out there killing titans?" Erwin eyed Levi questioningly.

"I am sir, very prepared. I have taken advance lessons in learning the 3DMG and Captain's secret techniques on how to move and swirl fast an-"

Levi glared at Rose and the girl sadly turned her eyes on her feet. "I'm sorry Captain" she said apologetically, completely forgotten about what they have discussed of 'keeping their training discreet' so other soldiers won't react negatively and ask for private learning lessons from Levi as well.

"I even thought that her glasses will help her make less attractive and shit but it doesn't to go as planned." Levi snorted. "The glasses were supposed to make her ugly! Not fucking pretty damn it!"

Erwin chuckled, and then turned to the flashing girl. Rose adjusted her glasses a bit which has been falling off from the tip of her nose. Erwin stood up and walked straight to Rose, gently holding her by her shoulders and smiling warmly right at her, making the young girl blush all of a sudden. He can't help but admire the brown chocolate waves of her hair by her shoulder that reflects her eyes extremely damn well and her pearl white skin that she looks like a totally beautiful and intellectual being.

"You can join tomorrow's formal starting ceremony, alright?" he tells her and the girl nodded wordlessly, lips a bit parted. Levi smirked at the view, stopping his self from laughing.

He grabbed the girl and bid farewell to their commander, Rose even followed another warm goodbye to the commander. "I hope to see you again, Commander Erwin!"

With what had happened, Levi was sure that there would no fucking way to make this girl less beautiful she is.

-x-

Levi assisted Rose as she transferred on her new place with her co-soldiers, bring her bags and other necessities with her. Levi sighed in relief, for a girl coming from a high place in the society, he expects her to have tons of bags full shit that she can't easily get away from. But at the very moment that she appears before him, she had only brought the important things she needs to use, no other shit else. With that, he already approved her to be trained.

Rose immediately made friends in the barracks, the other girls protecting and keeping her away from the boys who can't stop themselves from asking questions to her. Levi did warned her of making friends but she had to be certain since they can be a bit of 'unreal' people who might hurt her and pretends to that they can be trusted.

Alas, the captain was right.

It didn't even take a month that while she was training with her co recruits, even the ones that she had made friends and had trusted first, suddenly asking questions. The good ones didn't push her though the others kept on asking her questions.

"Are you really sure you wanted to be a soldier and kill titans?" a boy asked.

"I did, it was my dream ever since I was young." She explains, and then ending up telling her life, of how she had dealt with her life as visually impaired, studying hard along the best institutions that the walls has, how people had helped her most especially those who taught her, until she and her father met Levi and how he kindly offered up Hanji's eyes to her.

The other's became quiet and told her of what had happened before she was trained and had caused Levi of his suspension.

"I know that, he openly told it to me and my father" she defensively responded. It was true, Levi had told them that Hanji was killed because some maniac wanted to kill him and instead kills her.

They had a minute of silence, eating their food awkwardly and Rose can't help looking and feeling suspicious of the other people on their table, they were even fourteen on the table and Rose didn't know why they are forcing themselves in such crowded table where there are more open and free spaced tables inside the eatery.

"But really, can't you help asking it yourselves you guys?" started the other guy. "Maybe Heichou is trying to pull his shit together had Rose in exchange of his dead wife?"

The others suddenly stopped eating and eyes turned to her. "It's true" agreed the other girl on Rose's far left.

"Shut it you guys! Comparing Rose to our former commander is not good! At least give respect to the dead!" one of Rose's friend tried recusing her who is sitting on her right. She smiled lightly to her and gave her hand a warm gentle squeeze.

"But just look at her! Her hair's brown, she's is smart and reads a lot just like Danchou does, wanted to be a soldier and help humanity and is tall!" they spoke of her like she was kind of toy or a makeshift doll and not like any human who has feelings. There was a bit laughter and chuckle while the others started whispering. Rose has never been fond of a large group and is not a professional in pin pointing of who is to be trusted or not. But at this moment, she just wanted to get out and sleep the pain and anger away.

Another trusted friend of Rose, this time a boy the same age as her who is sitting and eating opposite of her, calmly responded in behalf of her.

"You guys are full of shit. You sure hell knows how to make stories up huh? Maybe you should be script writers for plays and act your assess of in theater plays within Sina and be entertaining in front of a lot of people, maybe that is way better." He said calmly, not even stopping to swallow or chew his meal. Rose and her other friend right beside her sighed in relief, holding hands.

"But think about it! Why would the captain suddenly bring a girl who seemed almost like his wif-"

The young man suddenly placed his wooden cup of water down on the table with much force, halting the other guy who can't stop raising stupid questions at Rose. Rose and her friend even looked worried for him, but he didn't really mind. Rose was being harassed and she didn't deserve such thing.

"Look, I know your stupid like shit but maybe you should have listened to what she had just said earlier, and that everything was not intentional or taught carefully as planned. Heichou didn't killed his wife so Rose can have her eyes and see the world!" he started explaining, voice top of his lungs but then, the young man's scowl turned into a devilish smile.

"Maybe you wanted to be beated just like the other three had? What if Heichou finds out about this? You, wanted to hit on Rose and kept on disrespecting his wife?"

An eerie silence suddenly crept in the dining hall, and never starting from that night had tried to ask Rose that makes her feel uncomfortable, most especially if the question is something she didn't like or revolved doubting her dreams, her life or even something to do with Levi and Hanji-san.

-x-

Rose had kept quiet in front of Levi, even during the drills that he conducts and trainings that he does for the new recruits. He had still been keeping an eye on Rose and reports towards her performance on the Corps was given to him. Levi was well informed of Rose and what she does and is very much proud of her, couldn't even believe that all of the things that he had taught her will actually be not put into waste. She really is a persevering girl.

Levi can't help but smirk as he looks at the young girl who seems to be acing her 3DMG drills, taking the lead scores and showing how well she does her flips and twirls on air. She was wearing her goggles, just like what he had told her to do, then he suddenly felt his smile crumbling.

He stared at the sky, the rays of the sun hugging the layers of clouds on the horizon, the birds freely flying above them. It looked so peacefully.

Breathing deeply, he wondered how she is doing. Is she also in that peaceful place that he wished she would go?

Staring back to the girl then back to the clouds, he spoke within himself. Shitty Glasses look at that girl who has your eyes. She is as tough as you, but she is quiet and more reserved. Her problem is her beauty while yours is your mouth. But look, she is as strong and intelligent as you, and I am responsible for her advanced skills! I know you're proud that I can actually train a girl on my own!

Somehow, he hopes that he made her proud. Before, she would occasionally tease him of being feared by all of the younger soldiers that they would prefer to be bitten by titans rather than be strangled to death and be sent to a world of unending pain with Levi's glare. But now he has proven her wrong, and hs is hoping that somehow, she is out there, happy for him as well.

Night came and Levi was astounded to see Rose creeping inside his room within the HQ. Her eyes were soft and sad, making him more worried and troubled than surprised.

"What the hell happened to you kid?" he asked, making way for her to come in and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Captain, I wish to talk to you." She said, seriousness present on her voice.

The short captain was surprised of her tone but asked her to seat and decided to hear what she has to say. He made his way to make some tea for her and him, wanting to calm his shit down.

"What is it?" he asks as he makes tea and she takes a seat on the middle of his bed, took the shoes off and had an Indian seat.

Rose was reluctant at first, debating within herself if she should ask him or not but she yearns for the truth and she was certain that within a month of being trained by him, World's Strongest Soldier, was practically the most greatest thing she had attained, and even having him donate the eyes of his wife for her so she could reach her dream. With that, she is sure that they had established a strong bond and trust. Besides, he opened up little part of things about him as she does as well. She had looked at him not just a big brother but more on like a younger dad. She had always been very grateful of Levi, she thought.

"I wanted to ask something, and I hope you don't mind Captain" she sighed, not even lifting her eyes to see the man. The sounds of cup and utensils being stirred and used was enough for her to believe that he is busy with his tea. He had always loved tea as much as he loved his wife, she thought.

What she had thought made her heart feel a sudden slash of pain and her eyes a bit teary, even if she can't understand why. She shoved it away and continued to talk.

"I know this is none of my business Captain but I really hope that you won't get mad."

"Just say it kid, we don't have all the time." He tells her and hands her her tea, which she gladly accepts and takes a seat opposite her.

She blinked worriedly. "It's just that, most of the other recruits has been telling me about Hanji-san, and that they had kept wondering if you gave me her eyes so that you can use me to remember her, since we even share a bit of resemblances in terms of fondness of things as well as the others say." She sked shyly, eyes drawn on her cup of tea, waiting for Levi to answer.

Levi was caught off guard by the sudden question but resumed to his normal self and sipped on his tea. After a year and a half of her being gone, he was able to learn how to pull himself together after hearing her name being mentioned and not breakdown.

"So you are asking?"

"If all the things that they were saying were true or partially true or not, Captain" she asked him straight.

Levi didn't said anything and just looked at the girl, then back to his tea. Partially, he feels that he thisis also his fault, that is why she is here on his room asking him for the truth, because he never even mentioned much to her about her.

He closes his eyes and placed the cup of tea on his bedside table. Rose followed his hand and saw a sketch available in his room here in the HQ as well, but different than the others that she saw on his little home.

"Rose" he speaks her name and she was focused on him again. "I want to apologize first because you are troubled by those shitty questions but the truth is, no, you are not." He spoke with confidence and she sighed in relief. It feels great hearing the truth than just convincing herself of what seems to be the truth.

"I hope you don't mind me asking but, what is she like?" Rose has never dared to ask him before during her private trainings with him but now, she has the urge and will to ask. She didn't want to interfere or act like a nosy teenager but this time, she wanted to hear the truth and be enlightened of his wife.

"Well..." Levi started, feeling rather a bit uncomfortable but as he sees Rose bit her lip and tucked her hands by her feet, looking exited with those same huge brown eyes, he thinks that she looked some kind of kid asking for a story be told before sleeping. And he feels like that is exactly what is happening, but she seems too eager to hear so bet that he has no other choice.

Besides, she has the right to know since she has her eyes. It would be pretty unfair for her if she doesn't know anything about Hanji.

Levi stood up and pulled the young lady from his bed, dragging her towards the door. She suddenly looked in disbelief, eyes in utter bewilderment.

"Captain!"

"Tomorrow morning"

"But-"

He gave her one last glare and she groaned in disgust as she wore her shoes again.

"I promise, tomorrow." And closes the door right in front of her.

He locks the door and leaned into it, making sure that she won't be able to open the door and shush her frail body inside his room again. When he heard her light footsteps and a bit muttered of words, he sighed and looked back towards the sketch rather painfully.

I'll tell more about you tomorrow to her, I promise.

He stared at the sketch on his bedside table as his back is still on the door.

I hope I can tell her everything she needs to know Hanj, he thought.

-x-

Rose was anxious to see her beloved Captain the following day, even finishing her breakfast way past before her friends. Once she had ran over and knock over Levi's door and much to her dismay, did not opened. She sighed, her questions are still unanswered and she is desperate to know more about him and his wife. She had always let the fact that they didn't talked about him and his life, most especially the part where he lived with his wife but now she is very much interested to know, so that she knows what to answer the question being bombarded upon her. Besides, it's not only her image is being affected but also his.

"Maybe I'd see Captain later this afternoon" she sighed but then, a sudden strong hand gripped on her wrist and lightly pulled her.

"No, you can talk to me now." He says as he eyed the hallway abruptly and didn't let go of her wrist. "If you want to me to answer your questions, we need to talk it over at my home" he said firmly. Rose didn't seemed to argue and gave him an agreeable nod.

Levi removed his hand on her wrist and walked in a fast pace, Rose quickly following up behind him and walking beside him. A small smile curled up on her lips, happy that the man she knew and trained her is still the same man who is compassionate and understanding in the inside.

-x-

The two entered Levi's little home. Rose had always felt comfortable inside of his home, staying within it for a month having it as her home for her training, even more welcoming than the Region Corps' HQ as well. This has been the very placed that had gave her rest after all the times that she had been draining herself under the sun, following all of Levi's direction. As she recalled those days that she had the worst muscle pains ever in her entire life, she can still gladly say that she did enjoyed those days as she turned into a soldier from an ordinary girl.

The place has accumulated enough dust after a few weeks of leaving the place alone since Levi too had returned to his usual room inside the HQ. Rose never knew why he had to be in there where his home is not even a kilometer away from the headquarters.

Rose sat on the nearest couch that she usually sat on to once she arrives from outside and eyed Levi as he prepared some tea for the two of them. When he had the cups on his hands ready with their tea, he didn't handed it out to her and instead motioned her to follow inside his room. Rose only had one memory of seeing that room, and that was when she was about to finally be enlisted to Recon Corps and her last day in this home, he finally introduced her into his wife, Hanji-san, as she remembers, via sketch. If she recalled it right, he only introduced her, and didn't told anything else about her. She may be curious, but she respected the privacy of the man. That moment when he introduced Hanji to her broke her heart to witness that the World's Strongest who trained her, making her feel to be the luckiest girl in the world, is actually soft and affectionate in the inside.

Now that she is back inside the room where she was convinces that Levi is not just a stoic and unreasonable man after all. She sipped her tea as Levi took a seat beside her on the bed, looking at her straight in the eyes. As she observes him, she could see how hard it was for him to look at her on the eyes.

"Look kid, if you want to know the truth, even if I am not lying into you in the first place, I am not hiding anything from you." He started and drank on his tea, his eyes till twitching as it draws into her deeply.

He started telling her about Hanji's background and his, what she is like that mad her asking what her resemblances with her were.

"She's filthy smart and sharp. She had always been cheery, happy and alive." Levi let out a sudden low sob, tears making their way out of his eyes and wiped them with his handkerchief. "I was the only one who brought her pain in her ass, and yet she still treated me like I am not different to her. She came from a wealthy family, so she had the opportunity to study and top within the wall Sina, and even proving herself really intelligent in the field of her research and experiments. Unlike me, I am bastard, former thug who ate shit along the underground. Despite my nasty words and treatments to others, she still fucking adored me, I tell you kid. She fucking adored me like shit." Rose made a giggle and it made Levi smirk and calm his self down.

He continued to how they started from a simple undecided sex due to her pranks, finding out that it was both of their first times until they agreed to do it without changing how they treated each other, remaining comrades and not lovers, which they both failed to do.

He told her how he fell in love with her so deeply but came in the unfortunate night where he didn't know why he was not able to handle the liquor from a party and ended up screwing the only woman in his squad, a year before he even proposed to her and the woman he fucked a few months away in getting married. That part had a tear roll down suddenly from Rose's eyes, surprising Levi and her herself.

"Captain, I am not really being emotional here, it's not my intention to cry" Rose panicked, wiping away the few more tears escaping from her eyes. "This is really annoying. This happened a few times before but this is the worse"

Levi cupped her face, making her gasped and gaze over Levi's grey orbed eyes.

"It's not you, most probably it's her" he whispers, and then handing her his handkerchief.

Rose shrugged. She didn't want to believe what he is saying because he sounds like a total hallucinating kid but somehow, she feels that she does believed him. She may be a girl but she is not a total crying baby girl. Even when she left her father or had faced the surgery, or even when Levi punishes her or pushed her into her limits, she never cried.

He told her how he proposed to her and how their marriage life went, up to the part where he was beaten like a cookie man and how Hanji thought of a way to get him back into his feet.

Rose listened to him with ease, and didn't cut him in the middle only asked questions once he is done per part or breathes in a little. Levi was even a bit reluctant to tell her about how they had a bit of a time out during their marriage and reconciled, telling her how much he felt so blessed to have someone like her.

Until the very unfaithful night.

He had his fist balled and tugging them into his bedsheet as he told her how she left him.

"I always loved her" Levi says, tears on the edge of his eyes. His hands were still trembling despite his best efforts not to. "But when she left me, I doubt she even knew or really sure that I do love her like hell" he closed his eyes and remembered her swaying her head back and forth as he tells her not to believe what the asshole had told her.

He explained why he flipped out when he heard those brats talking about him and Hanji and how their words had greatly affected him. Eventually, he continued his story until he meets her and his father.

He once again cupped her face, but this time too slowly and soft like there it was just only a gust of wind cupping her face. He tried to smile at her and searched her eyes.

"You, Rose, are similar indeed in a lot of fucking ways that I never expected. As you can see, I never had expected you to be the one to received her eyes." Rose nodded on his hold on to her and smiled at him. It is now clear to her that they had crossed path for a reason, a surprise and unexpected yes, but she realized that Levi never wanted to her to be the same as Hanji-san. It was justthat, they had a lot in common.

"Maybe if she were alive, we would easily become close." She breathed.

Levi smirked and nodded, hands not leaving her porcelain cheeks. "You're right about that kid"

"Both of your hair were brown, except that your hair is curly and a bit wavy-"

"Wavy captain, with very minimal curls" she corrected.

"Whatever." He said irritatingly, he never know anything about hair styles. "you both came from a wealthy family. You both were educated, loves to read books, eager to learn and a passionate soldier."

"And both tall" she flashed him a grin.

"And both irritatingly clingy"

"But you don't mind it captain!"

Levi rubbed her hair and she giggled with delight. "Yeah you're right about that one." You're like a possible, annoying pretty ass daughter for us too, he thought.

"This is why I have always been delighted to train you and saw within you how competitive you are as a soldier" Levi explains, voice firmed and strong. Just like her, he thought.

"I will never let you down, Captain" Rose stood up and gave him a salute with a warm smile plastered on her beautiful face.

"I'm getting back to the headquarters now, captain. Self-defense drills are up next, I don't want to be late."

Levi smiled, proud of his pretty ass tall protégé and stood up in front of her. "I've trained you well, soldier. I don't want to hear from them having your ass kicked, you got that?" he says and wiped away a tear that was left unshed on her cheek by his thumb. She smiled and nodded.

"It's never been my intention to humiliate you, captain."

"yeah you better not to" Levi smirked and ruffles her hair. "Now get your ass there and kick ass."

Rose giggles as she went along her way out of his room. "Don't let those fucking boys touch any part of your body or grope your ass, you hear!"

"I won't!" and turns to face him back. "Goodbye Captain Levi!" she waves off and left.

Rose went on her way, bouncing on her feet, feeling even more confident and rejuvenated. Now she no longer feels a huge mystery herself and to the Legion and that if ever questions her again regarding how Levi sees her of who she is, she is confident that she can answer them that she is not any kind of toy or object to remind him of Hanji-san, and that Levi gave her the opportunity to live and see the world, not use her to his own personal desire, of reanimating his wife.

The thought made her sick.

How did those people had ever thought of that against him, when he is kind and helpful?

She figures that they might be just too scared.

A smile ran across her face as her friends waves at her, telling her to move faster before they start their trainings.

-x-

Levi was happy to see Rose ran off like a little girl who just had a couple of chocolates down her throat as he looked at her from his room's windows. He turns to look at the sketch of him and Hanji, kissing passionately as she is enveloped on his arms.

He let himself sunk down on the floor, staring blankly on the wooden floor. Shutting his eyes takes him back to those days where he is living the life with Hanji. But now that he is alone, he crawled into his bed and hugged the pillow that they once share together.

As he gripped on the pillow, he can still smell her scent. He can still feel how she would embrace him as she closes her eyes, scrubbing her cheeks onto his. She would giggle and ran her hands across his body, placing light kisses on his face and on his head. She would playfully wriggle her fingers on his hair and pull him closer to her.

He squeezed his eyes shut, arms tightly embracing the pillows that would explode just to let him remember of what she is like.

He misses her a lot.

With tears flowing down his cheeks and sobbing quietly, he plunges down into sleep, welcoming the nightmares that had always haunts him every moment he sleeps.

Expecting a nasty view of his eyeless wife's face, shouting at him, asking him why he had not loved her, a gentle hand brushed his face, knowing the touch is too familiar to ignore.

Levi...

Wake up.

He suddenly opened his eyes due to the sudden surprise. A warm and bright light was the first one had greeted him, then his eyes searched for the source of that voice. This could be another damn dream, he thought but something felt strange.

He can feel the grass along his skin and the wind blowing against his hair. He can hear the birds chirping and he feels so light and at peace. What did he even do to feel this way? And since when did he even felt this kind of peaceful and light feeling?

The last time he felt this way was when...

... he was still with her.

Hanji.

"I know you're awake, Levi" a voice called out, caressing his cheek.

It can't be, he thought.

"Wake up" it called again.

Levi can't help but feel so alarmed and desperate to see her. There is no doubt, the voice, the touch, the feeling-

"Hanji?"

A laugh.

That same laugh.

"Yeah I'm right here, short ass."

Levi was scared to open his eyes, fearing it might be another nightmare that he is being reminded of what he had always hated the most, that he never loved her. But, what is happening? What the hell is this? He thought. Who the fuck would do such shitty prank on him?

Gathering all his strength, he opens his eyes with full effort, as though they were a pair of heavy load ass shit.

Shit.

"Shitty Glasses?" he whined.

Opening his eyes, he saw her, and felt that same kiss that she always gives him everytime they are going to wake up early in the morning. A kiss he had longed for years already had never felt again.

His grey orbs were met by those brown huge orbs.

And it's not Rose, he would never wake up beside Rose giving him a kiss and telling him to wake the fuck up. The girl had always been too scared to bother him in the middle of his sleep so this really different, but also very familiar.

"Yeah, I miss you too." She tells him, her voice high as always but his ears could definitely bear.

He cupped her face with his two hands, and he was surprised to see that he got his normal hand back. He instantly checked his leg and it too, was back to normal. The feeling was too overwhelming that when he opened his mouth, nothing came out but felt the trembling coming in his hands.

When he looked at his hands, he is still cupping her face.

"Hanji?" he asked his voice wobbling.

He moved his fingers and felt her face, too real to say that he is hallucinating nor having another horrible nightmare. The tenderness of her skin, the feeling of her eyelashes and eyebrows on his thumb- she is real, and this not any kind of fucking nightmare.

She smiled.

She didn't looked like any of those ghoulish version of hers that he sees in the middle of the night, making him scream in pain and waking Rose out of her bed, hurrying to his side. This Hanji's normal looking dopey face, like how he sees her every morning before.

"Please don't tell me I'm dreaming" he says, still can't believe of what is happening. They were lying on a grassy land, like how they had once talked under the stars and lay so happily with each other's arms.

Hanji giggled and held both of his hands with hers. "You are free to believe what you think is true, Levi" she breathlessly whispers.

Without a second Levi kissed her firmly on the lips. As he felt those luscious lips of hers, he forced her to open her mouth by his tongue and tasted every part of her. He massaged his lips thoroughly, feeling each movement that she makes and breaths that tickles him. His thumb carefully massaged her cheeks and didn't even pulled away to breath. Her hands crept to his chest and slightly push him away so he won't die of suffocation and searched his face.

"I don't care if I'm hallucinating, or if I am dead or high or drunk or fucked, all I care is that you are here, and that you really are here, Hanji"

"Levi, don't say things like that." She swore that she may not be that alive anymore but she can't bear to hear him say those words of him dying, it was still a pain for her ears to bear. Her eyes fell on his hands but he lift her chin up so he can search at her face.

"You don't know how much I miss you Hanji" he said and kissed her lips. "Every single minute after you left me made me feel devastated" he said firmly then captured her lips again. "I had always wanted you around, I never wanted you to leave me, you know that right?"

Hanji swallowed hard, Levi surely is getting emotional. Somehow, she is guilty of why he is becoming emotional again.

"I always loved you. I know I may fucked up big time sometimes but you were the only one who made me feel this way. You know that right?" he started to kiss her again but he is getting out of hand, making his kiss a bit forceful and harsh.

"You said you'd never leave me, but what did you do? You left me to this cruel, fucking world, on my own." His eyes are starting to to glitter with tears but not falling, the tremble never leaving his hands. He started to kiss her again but she swayed her head to the other side, making him place kisses on her cheeks and neck instead of her lips. Her lips were starting to to feel numb and she can't tolerate him doing something so harsh.

"Levi" she whimpers and see if it would stop him but it even made him tighten his hold on to her and pulled her to him closer, their chests walled into each other. His lips made its way to place kisses on her chest, opening her shirt as his hands travelled to her hips and the other to beside her breast and continued to sank his lips into every bit of her neck, face and chest.

She captured his lips for a kiss, sweet and real so she could calm him down. Instead, he responded violently, groaning in every movement and not letting go of her lips, his hands even making her feel so weak and imprisoned. No matter how much she tries to pull him away, he even gets even mre and more violent and hard. She knew that this was all her fault but she thought that if she was the reason why he is acting like this, then she should be the one to calm him down as well.

Hange forced herself to move away a bit from him and caught his face and forced him to look at her. "Levi, look at me."

He swayed his head and continue to captured her lips for a deep long kiss again, when he suddenly stopped on what she had said.

"I forgive you" it was those words that he never heard coming out form her mouth, ever since she tried to get away from him after learning of his infidelity. She may have returned to him but she never did actually forgavehim in anyway.

"I forgive you Levi" she flashed him a reassuring smile to show him that she is sincere with her words.

His eyes widened then narrowed, trying to stop a tear from falling down his face. When he saw how honest she was and she actually means it, he shut his eyes and held on to her face.

"You couldn't, you really shouldn't" he said, swaying his head in disagreement.

"I hurted you. I broke your heart, I fucking screwed our marriage and made you feel like shit. I don't deserve your forgiveness Hanji" he inched his face closer to her and light sobbing has been unstable.

"I don't care, I have been way passed those hatred Levi, and I want you to free yourself from the pain. Forgive yourself, you don't deserve to be damned forever Levi, not you." Her eyes searched his and a few tears started to made their way out his eyes. "I love you, I always loved you Levi there's no doubt about that."

She embraced him and he let him lean onto her shoulder and cradle him like she always does, her other hand caressing his head while the other on his back. She could feel every vibration of every sob that he makes and he clang on to her with his dear life.

Levi felt even horrible as Hanji said those words, that she forgives him like he really deserves it. Compared to her, she had endured his bastardiness towards her and despite being a deep asshole of a husband he is, she still loved him. But what about him, he thought? What did he do to prove her that he really loves her? She had never betrayed him, unlike he did. Realizing his shitty attitude, he shuts his eyes tightly and hugged her even tighter.

"I want you back Hanji, I want to be with you." She didn't said anything but kissed him on his cheek.

"I don't want to be alone anymore, please" he begged.

Hanji blinked with regret, she never wanted Levi to suffer this much, but a few things are necessary and cannot be stopped.

"But I am, I had always been with you." Levi looked at her quizzically and watched her crawl down on to his chest and opened his shirt. She looked up to him with sad and pained eyes, her sadness endlessly etched on her face.

The dark skin of Levi's chest bursted open for her to see, and she didn't liked it. She let her fingertips trace the entire bruise on his chest, making him flinch a little with the feeling of her soft fingertips.

Levi closed his eyes and caressed her hair, not caring of what she is seeing from his body. "I wanted it to stop, it was fucking painful, every beat that it makes. But it didn't stop so I had to make a way"

Hanji turned her gaze towards the bruise right before her eyes and gently, he pressed very light and soft kisses onto it. Levi breathed more calmly now as he caress her head onto his chest and feel the brush of her lips on the part where it had hurt the most before.

"This is where your heart is" she said and jabs her index finger below his left chest. She gave it a long kiss until felt that she was already sucking onto it, surprising him all of a sudden. When she looked up to him, she saw the surprised eyes of Levi when he sees a pink mark suddenly appeared on the part where she had kissed and sucked.

"Now this will always remind you that I am here" she points at the mark she had left and looked up to him for confirmation. Fortunately, he is paying attention to what she is trying to tell him.

"Everytime you're going to hurt yourself, you don't just hurt yourself, but also me" she stated and Levi only looked and listened to her. "You need to remember that Levi so it'll help remind you to stop hurting yourself."

Levi forced himself to lower his head and give the mark a look and had the back of his hand touch it. The mark was pink and with the same size of his thumb and when he felt it, it was warm. His eyes then turned to search towards Hanji's and she flashed her warm smile. He cupped her face with his both hands and she places her hands on top of his.

She is still oddly warm, and he loved it.

He gently places his forehead to hers, and she closes her eyes in contentment. He did the same and then gave her a soft gentle kiss on top of her head, hands never leaving her cheeks.

"I want to stay like this forever with you, four eyes"

"I know"

"then why couldn't we?"

"You know why" she answered with a trail of sadness and pain in her voice, and Levi gripped on her tightly, telling himself that he has not lost her in anyway, that she is still here with him, whole and well- alive, even if he can't bear thinking of the truth.

"hey" she whispers and Levi leans into her, waiting for her to continue. "Get some rest already, sexy butt."

"Hmm, I'd lose you again if I did."

"Aren't you listening a while ago?" she asked and held his face and search worriedly. He eyed her but then turned to look on her chest instead.

"I had always been with you, and always will be, got that?" she placed a soundful kiss on his lips but he barely responded. Instead, his hands gripped on her tighter, arms pulling her in a very tight embrace. Before she even knew it, he had started letting out soundless sobs, holding tightly to her, to his dear life, -his only life.

"I don't want to lose you again" he whimpered, not letting go of her. If he lets go of her, he knows that he would see how he lose her all over again, and it was a pain in the ass.

"You never lose me," she whispers and kissed him on the lips. "and you never will again"

Levi could only look at her and despite the aching feeling that he is feeling inside, he wanted to trust her and her words.

They stayed like, holding each other, feeling each other's presence to the fullest and Levi didn't care of how much time had passed. All he cared is that she is finally here, on his arms, breathing and embracing him back. He nuzzled his nose against her jaw and placed a delicate kiss on her lips and cheek, then settled his face on top of her head and squeezed her gently.

"Hey" he muttered under her ear, nuzzling his nose against her cheek.

"Hmmm?"

"I want you to…" he started and grabs her face, bringing it closer to him. He wanted to tell her everything in this very moment and do everything that he can with her. But with the time so limited, he needs to decide and choose of the important ones to be said and done.

"What is it, Levi?"

"I want you to know that I always love you."

Their eyes met.

Then she giggles. "Tsk! Stop laughing! I am fucking serious!" this is not supposed to be like when he said it, he wants to sound serious and not funny.

"Stop fucking laughing! What is so funny about what I said?"

HAnji started to calm herself and stop giggling like a wild kid. "I know that, idiot." She placed a long kiss on his mouth and returned it with ease.

"it's just that, I find it really funny that you think I don't know"

Levi's eyes narrowed into a sad one, unable to keep the gaze at hers.

"you really need to stop thinking about me from time to time, I know you love me Levi"

"only you." He added, since he knew that she might still think that he might like other damn woman, but they are not her so why would he love them anyway?

Hanji smiled, and inched her nose to his.

"I love you too" she replied in a whisper but full of sincerity.

Levi pulled her again into an embrace, her head imprisoned into his chest, his hands tightly holding her hair and head against him.

"I did what you told me before, and decided to give your eyes to a kid, almost just like you" he thumbs her eyes which was weird to see because they were there, where in fact he was just talking about how he had given them to a new person.

She smiles warmly at him. "I know. I really like her a lot, Rose wasn't it?"

Levi's eyes were full of surprised and Hanji giggled.

"I know alright because I have always been with you, you just didn't know." She was relaxed and calm and he knows she is saying the truth, even if he should feel freaked out about what she had said, he felt actually glad that she indeed has always been with him, and that she never left him alone like he always thought.

"She is beautiful Levi. I am really glad I was able to help her."

Levi nods and kissed her eyes gently, as she tucks her forehead against his. "I am happy that she is seeing the world for me now. She deserves them, and she is an honorable soldier."

"Yeah, her beauty really is a pain in the ass. Her glasses were supposed to make her ugly, but it doesn't seemed to take effect." He snorted and Hanji giggled even more. Levi smirked, happy that he can still make his wife giggle with small things.

"Well, glasses makes most woman prettier I supposed. It had took effect on you as well! You married someone who wears glasses!"

Hanji kept giggling and Levi laughed a little as well. It was really warming in the heart to laugh with his wife again. He kisses her forehead.

"You're fucking gorgeous, idiot"

"It's a nice idea to lend her my books Levi. Go give her some of it, I know Rose will definitely like them." She mentioned once they have settled down and got tired of the sudden silence that came in between.

"Yeah but I had to limit it I guess. Her brain might grew large and she might draw more attention to those filthy boys and turns them on with her intelligence."

Hanji laughed and smacked Levi on the chest lightly. "Seriously Levi!"

"What? I fell for that one as well!"

"Yeah but she really is beautiful Levi, give the girl a break. She's really perfect and I am really honored to have my eyes bestowed upon her" she said and Levi could only embrace her tightly, nose bumping on each other's.

He closes his eyes and Hanji nuzzled deepened into his chest. She placed soft kisses on his chest, her fingertips placing doodles on him. Staying like that with her was the only thing he had ever desired for years and everyday without her feels like he is being tortured, slowly killing him in such horrible way. If there's only a way to stay together like this with her, eh would do so, even if he is to deal with a pretty messy and shitty death.

As he dozed off, despite his efforts not to, he felt her hair on his hand and her waist on the other. He remembered that he felt her breath on his skin and the feeling that she gives him when she nuzzles her nose to him.

"Love you sexy butt" she gently whispers into his ears, making him purr in contentment.

A kiss, so gentle he wanted to cry but he wasn't able to open his eyes.

When he managed to finally open them, he was on top of his bed, holding a darn pillow. He scrubbed his eyes and sat on the edge of his bed.

A dream he thought. But why does it feel so real?

He let out a huge yawn before going to the bathroom and get himself some shower but stopped suddenly when he saw himself on the mirror.

His shirt was a bit opened exposing his chest, and a thumb sized pink mark was etched on his lower left chest.

-x-

Levi had become a totally different person, more like coming back to his old better self. He had become a bit talkative than before and become more approachable, even leaning to his men's dying breath and visiting his soldiers' left families, thanking them and comforting them since he knows what it was like to lose someone very important in life. Rose too was like his shadow, following him around, giving him a helping hand even if he refuses. Whenever they would visit a fallen comrade's left family and after Levi talks to them, Rose will hand them flowers and comforting them as well.

Levi also had become less dreadful to look at, giving everyone a blank face than a scary 'I'm going to fucking kill you' face. He would often give them second chances before deciding to give them punishments, valuing the importance of second chances in life.

He had also shared an even closer bond to Rose, pulling her away from boys, bring her tea every night and morning to drink, giving her her favorite cookies from town and helping her plant flowers with her friends. He had become fond of her and had treated her more than just a protégé but like a daughter as well. He had allowed himself to develop this new relationship with the kid since he had promised her father that he would take care of her, and he hopes that he is doing his best.

Besides, Hanji liked Rose a lot as well.

Rose felt really relieved with Levi's sudden change, and that her eyes were also no longer crying on their own, making it two reasons for her to be happy about. There was a sudden weird, giggly feeling inside of her that she can't remove, but it was a nice feeling inside of her since she become ready for the world and whatever it could bring, making her feel even braver like before.

It was surprising for Rose to see Levi suddenly becoming better each passing day every time she would see him during her drills and practices and was a complete great mentor whenever they're outside doing a mission. He was even there from each passing moment that she becomes an even better Recon Corps soldier. From the maneuvering gear executions up to the air (where she looked like a total goddess who's dancing in the air having all boys drop their jaws open as they watch her, making Levi glare at them like their world is about to end), the time where she had her opponent' very first knocked down and to first five missions where she arrived safe and whole inside the walls. Levi was able to guide her and her friends, much to his annoyance and was able to further help them learn and improve their skills slaying titans. Levi would attack the titan's ass or ankles or back of its legs or knees then Rose will go and have it killed, until she learns how to deal with them on her own. She was even able to save her comrades and helped lessen the number of dying soldiers each passing missions.

Levi was very proud of his protégé indeed.

After years of training and then enlisting herself full pledge and directly on the corps with only a number of months for training before heading out, Levi was there patting her back, congratulating her and returning her warm embrace. People would no longer give them weird looks or fucked up comments that she is like some kind of doll to remind Levi of Hanji since Rose had made sure that and clarified that she is nothing but a pupil of Levi and told them clearly of what had become of their father-daughter like relationship, that he is kind in the inside and more than just a small scowl captain face.

Much to Levi's joy was Moblit's success of finally continuing Hanji's leftover job for him, which was the answer to the Ape titan's messy scent of having every humans turn into titans. It was a natural and simple solution that had took years for Hanji and Moblit to analyze and discover to be the solution for humans not to turn to mindless titans.

A plant that Hanji had found a few years back before and ever since then studied it and had done a lot of experiments. How Moblit was able to finish what she had started for humanity's endless struggle against titans, nobody knew. Moblit rarely discussed how he finished the job right and most thought that what is important is that they were able to put an end with humans turning into titans due to the ape titan.

It was then left for Levi and the Recon Corps to wipe the titans out of the surface of the world.

It was not an easy job to totally erase the titans, since their gas and blades are limited and would need to get back and forth from inside and outside the walls to fuel up and gather as much as needed supplies back to further their 'cleaning operation'.

As they do their job and exterminate the remaining titans around the world, they get to study and find out what the outside world is like. The mysteries that surrounded the mystery of the world was slowly being revealed, even Armin, Mikasa and Eren had volunteered to look for the ice world that they had once talked about and Erwin gave them their approval after weeks of begging him.

It has been almost five years for Rose being a part of the Recon Corps and she has been one to honored to give her service to her townspeople. She had made her father very proud and tears of joy always rained down on his face whenever he sees Rose.

Levi was hesitant seeing the world once they were given the longest and most likely the last mission that they are to have from Erwin. He had never thought that they could actually end the wrath of the titans, even how much he has to end their reigning terror. Most specially, if he is to see what the outside world is like, it would be with Hanji. He would see how she would study every little thing outside, from small creatures to big ones and study them and give the shitty names. They would finally find a perfect place after seeing the part of the world where they can view the stars the best and they would plant and grow food and tried living normally with no problems at all.

Instead, he gets to see Rose lurking in every new things she sees, hugging the animals like she was crazy and even hugging the plants and new sets of flowers she would see. When she was just a year or two in the Recon Corps, Levi was the one to pull her away from her day dreaming and deep agonizing love for the flowers and 'cute' animals, as she would say it, that will almost got her killed because of being too drawn and preoccupied with them that she doesn't notice the danger that is coming her way.

She was so much like Hanji, Levi had told himself everytime he would see Rose enjoys herself with the new things she sees.

"Captain! I read this one from Hanji-san's books!" she would usually say at him as he smirks and ruffles her hair.

"This one is not poisonous because the nose is not that pointed. If it's pointed, then that one is poisonous!" she continues to blabber as she shows the creature in front of him.

"And what do you call this shit?" he asks, eyes narrowing towards the creature's eyes. "It should be called 'earless' because it doesn't have ears."

"It's a snake captain! But this one is specifically called a Silver Trans Pecos Ratsnake!"

Levi's eyes grew unpleasantly. "A what!?"

"Ahm, a snake captain" and hugs the creature on her chest and it hisses.

"I knew about those! They were very, very few inside the walls' trees or forest. Hanji had once mentioned that they are a threat for us outside in trees and could die because of their poison."

"I know! But this one isn't dangerous!" she pressed her lips to the head of the snake. "I'll call him 'Livers' because if you rearrange the word 'silver' you can get livers!" she exclaimed joyfully with the snake attached to her arm. She had also tackled how snakes different kinds are very limited inside the walls that's why she is too happy to finally hold a different species of theirs.

"Oi! Stop jumping with that thing Rose! It might bite you!"

"No it won't! right, Livers?"

Levi rolled his eyes and sighed in relief when he saw that the snake doesn't seemed to react negatively nor made any move of biting Rose.

"You sure have a shitty taste in naming fucks like those Rose" he snorted.

"Captain! Please watch your tongue." Rose retorted with a pout, and Levi can't help himself.

"Tsk. Fine! Don't come running at me when it bites your head out!" he yelled out at her. Instead of seeing her cry or throw the snake to the ground, she threw herself at Levi and hugged him awkwardly tight.

"Thank you Captain! I promise he won't bother anyone." She tells him and Levi can't do anything but just keep the scowl on his face.

Rose vowed to place Livers on to her aquarium that was just newly vacated because her fish she named mushroom, died the other month leaving her heartbroken since Mushroom's kind has never been found inside the walls yet. Her roommates were already used to her and listened to her learnings since her voice is really soothing and whatever she says really makes them more curious and want to know more.

Levi was aware of Rose's new hobby and made sure that she is not as reckless as Hanji when she studies new things but still, they seemed like they really share the same thing though Rose is not as reckless as Hanji.

It was then that one day, Erwin had proposed to go forth towards the west side, which was only explored four times and not even thorough as possible. With answers being revealed about their questions in the world as well as the titans one by one, Moblit and his squad is needed to be left to study further and unfortunately needed Erwin's presence, leaving Levi and Mike to lead the 'cleaning crew' as he calls it.

They were already on the mission for four consecutive days and decided to get back to their homes inside the walls. Levi was looking around, looking for Rose's squad to meet theirs as his squad had just assembled with Mike's and are waiting for the other squads when Levi suddenly saw a vague appearance in a nearby forest.

"Hanji" he muttered nervously.

Then he saw her again along the trees and waved with a huge grin on her face, telling him to come and follow her.

"What is it Heichou?" Connie asked while the others worriedly look after his direction.

"It's Hanji. She's there, I saw her" everyone exchanged glances nervously. Mike advanced toward Levi and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You're just worried over Rose Levi" he tells him "we need to meet the other squads as well and head home. We need to go."

Levi's eyes narrowed and focused on the forest, Hanji can no longer be seen. He panicked and pushed away Mike's hand off his shoulder. The others' eyes went to look at the forest as well but didn't saw any sign of their former Danchou.

"I am not fucking around! Hanji's there! I saw fucking saw here!" he pointed at the part of the forest where he saw her before he realized of the way they are looking at him. Without any hesitation, he took off like a gust of wind.

"Heichou!" Eren yelled out to him but didn't listened on continued on his way.

Mike had told Levi's squad to follow their captain but the moment they entered the forest, they had completely didn't see any sign of their captain.

"Heichou!" all of them randomly screamed, careful not to alarm any nearby titans.

On the other hand, Levi was too preoccupied looking for any sign of Hanji. He is certain that he saw her, and he is not having any kind of mistake and he is certainly not hallucinating again. All he needs to do is just look for her and-

"Hanji!?"

Over here Levi. He heard her say it, and he went further inside the forest following her voice. He followed the trail where he saw her pass by and in another minute, she peaked in from behind a tree and he run towards it immediately. Thinking he would be able to see her again and hold her just like the last time he did, he was surprised to see that it was different and made his heart sank.

"Help!" a yelp and he knows that voice and without thinking, he run from where it is coming from.

"Rose!"

The poor girl was struggling to keep her hold on an extended root of a tree that is exposed at the side of the cliff. Tears were already spilling her eyes when Levi saw her there. Her other gear was gone, maybe had fallen down as well.

"Captain!" she breathlessly yelled, relieved to see the captain himself.

"What the fuck are you doing there!" he asks, stretching out his mechanical arm for her to hold on. "Grab my robot hand and hold on tight!"

He does not know how long she had been there but he is knows that he must get her out from there immediately, before he should ask any kind of questions.

But before he could pull Rose up after she made herself perfectly alright with his mechanical hand, Levi was lunged side wards by a sudden attack of a seven feet titan. Rose managed to hold on his mechanical arm tightly even if he stumbled.

He can't fight back since Rose is still holding on to his left mechanical hand. He guesses that with her trembling, she had only limited strength left because of the time that she had been holding onto the tree's extended root.

And he's got no other choice, that there would only be one of them will be left alive. If he needs to kill the titan, he has to let go of Rose. But if he pulls Rose up, in only about a second may pass and the titan will lounge towards him and would be chewing him again. Without any movement, he locked stares with the titan. Staring at it made him feel a huge amount of disgust, but now it'll be over since they would all be gone soon.

"Kid you better move your ass once you got up and use my gear, got it?" he told her, not braking the stare with the titan, though it is starting to prepare for its movement.

"Captain! What are you saying?" she asked back worriedly.

"I have taught you well and I know you'll be able to put this fucker down." He exclaims, his breathing starting to quickened. "Don't mind me and just kill this shit!" he started to loosen his gear and let it fall on the ground as slowly as his right hand can.

"Captain!"

A lot had happened in a minute. He pulls her up as the titan lounges towards Levi, mouth opened and ready to eat him but his movement made the titan bit his right mechanical leg instead of his body. He can't use his gear to strike the titan at the face or else Rose will have a hard time to retrieve his gear and kill the titan so he let the titan chew the mechanical leg that Hanji had made for him and closed his eyes.

Hanji…

He used his left mechanical hand to land strikes on the titan at the face while he heard Rose run and picked his gear and attack the titan on its nape. She was so fast Levi wanted to give her a ruffle on the head hard until she would cry out and embrace him like her stuffed toy.

Unfortunately, before Rose could manage to kill the titan and attack its nape, the titan pulled Levi's mechanical hand that had kept on giving it punches on the face and pulled it, blood coming out like a fountain and then the giant was decapitated.

Levi felt his body falling then hitting the hard ground, and it was not a soft landing. He felt something got broken inside of his body, must be his other leg or his rib and hip bone since there was a jolt of pain that he felt in there. Tons of sticky blood came to touch his skin and soak his clothes in an instant and Rose screamed in agony when she saw the blood of Levi like a river.

Levi managed to see their surroundings for any other possible danger but fortunately, it was only the seven feet tall titan that had attacked them and Rose was able to put it down to its death. Levi was able to flash her a smirk, but her eyes filled with tears has slowly had his lips curl downward.

Rose was sobbing wildly, not knowing what to do and does not know how to stop the bleeding when his arm and leg were horribly open once again. His squad came rushing towards him while Rose was screaming in agony. She was panicking and Levi just watched her do so as she aid him with her best.

"Don't worry Captain, you'll be alright" she choked and Mike was shouting to the medic team to come over and help.

Levi was breathing heavily, but oddly he can't feel any pain nor panic inside of him. Compared to his first attacked, he was more calm now knowing he would finally be with Hanji once again, any moment now, he thought and he smiled. Rose saw how he smiled and closed his eyes and thought that he might be losing his mind.

She caressed his forehead and felt the sweat running across his forehead and placed a light kiss on it.

"Please captain, please" she pleaded.

He smiled and wanted to touch her porcelain face but couldn't, his right arm too weak to do so. Rose saw his arm trying to reach onto her so she grabbed it and placed his hand onto her face.

"I'm right here captain, I'm right here." She whispers sadly as the others was caught and stared to them both, knowing that they could no longer save the captain. Hanji was there before and managed to do something to lessen his bleeding and right now, none of them have anything to use to help him or any idea and they are far too away from their nearest post and most especially the walls.

"Please" she choked and kisses his palm.

"I am too darn proud of you kid" he tells her, his fingertips managing to move a bit of her wavy rich brown hair along her face. "I just wanted to let you know"

Everyone around them had started to look worried and sad knowing of what is to come, some even closing their eyes and looking away. Rose let out a few more sob and nodded while looking at him straight in the eyes, where he found comfort and calmness.

Hanji.

A few more minutes, they grey eyes of the captain has been openly staring at Rose's brown orbs and no longer closes.

-x-

Rose was able to let out a proud speech before letting the great captain, her mentor, be eaten by flames within the furnace. Everyone gave their respects to the captain and bowed with pride for him. He had been one of the greatest examples to be remembered and he will never be forgotten.

Before finally setting his body into ashes, Rose was the last one to leave his body, placing a few roses in red, pink, white and yellow colors. She inches closer to his covered body, properly covered with the Recon Corps' flag and started to mumble.

"I can't thank you so much for everything Captain. You had been a very great mentor and I am beyond happy to have so much like a father to me as well. Thank you for keeping me away from trouble and danger and tolerating my weirdness." She cleared her nose and tried to smile like how she does when she talks to him. "You will be forever be remembered Captain, I promise you that. We will continue to clean every land of any titans and I will see the rest of the world for you and Hanji-san."

She places one last kiss on his forehead she supposes and whispered 'thank you' to his ears before giving his cold right hand a warm caress.

With loud gun fires shot first, his body was then succumb by flames.

-x-

Levi was listening carefully to Rose's words can't help but smirk and chuckle as he sleeps.

He thinks he really is sleeping.

Stupid kid, why would I be mad at you for being weird? And it's not your fault that people are in deep awe to you for being damn pretty even with those shitty glasses.

But beyond that, I don't care if I am to be remembered or not by other shitty humans. But I do am happy to hear that you are proud of me being your mentor and that you won't forget me.

A warm hand caresses Levi's jaw as he feels the other things that surrounds him as well.

There was a warm shade of sun ray into his skin, fresh air and a very familiar hand tracing his jaw.

Opening his eyes, his grey orbs meets those warm brown chocolate orbs, and he smiles.

He stretches his hand and landed to that same face he usually hold on to every morning.

Hanji, he mutters and she smiles back.

Without any hesitation, she kisses him sweetly, meeting those luscious lips that he dearly missed, and he swears he won't need anything else.

-x-

Finally, this fic had come to an end. I felt achieved and fulfilled. I had a great time coming up with this fic until I finished it.

As always, no edits done.

Do please read my other LeviHan fic which is related to this and I was able to finish alongside with this fic. This and my other onshot fics of LeviHan that I previously made, which are also interrelated to each other are to be compiled into a series so yeah, hope you have a few time to spare to read it.

A major thanks to all those people who had read this fic, thank you so much.

ladyinblack