Chapter 15

A/N: As life sometimes tends to do, I have been thrown a curve ball. My beta reader and I have had a parting of the way. So I will be happy to speak with beta readers who would be interested in pre-reading After the Fall, just send me a private message at either the writerDi or DottiG account.

I, like many of you, have been totally caught up in DcOliver's gripping story, Never Look Back-Please Turn Around, and join many of you in sending my condolences to her and her family. I also fell victim to the damn flu. Miserable, is the only word I can find to describe how I was feeling, so please forgive me my indulgences and weaknesses that have delayed my update to my story.

To those reviewers with complaints about my update pace, unfortunately I am not a fast writer. Sorry. I have to hear them speaking to me; I write to get them...out...of my head. The most I can tell you is that updating will be sporadic but continuous until the story is done. I am dealing with sick parents, a testy husband, a young son, and fairly significant financial trouble. Fanfiction is my outlet, my fun place, I have a whole wonderful, terrible, complicated life beyond these keystrokes. I thank you for your patience as I craft the ups and downs of life for our intrepid couple.

I want to address something I've seen on several cheat fic review pages. I don't know if it is one reviewer or if several people feel the same, but the question is why do authors make the mistress psycho. We don't make her psycho, she is. I contend that a woman who knowingly gets involved with a married man has some type of mental illness be it low self-esteem, extreme insecurities, or the opposite, inflated ego, the idea that they don't have to play by the rules the rest of us do. Then I don't always see them as psycho, or bunny boilers is the other one I've seen, they are simply fighting for what they wrongly think is theirs. I love him more than she does or he wouldn't be with me in the first place, so I am going to show her I love him better than she does. And for you feminist about to lose your minds, I think the same thing of the husbands. With that said, I hope you enjoy. :)

I have started a Pinterest page, there is a link on my writerDi profile page. That has been big fun. Check it out when you get a chance. Thanks to skinsavant, and greytosteele for all your assistance.

Thank you Frenchstyle, you did an amazing job, thanks for coming through in a pinch.

Narration: Christian receives a package at his office that warms his heart and gives him hope, briefly, until reality comes crashing down around him.

~oo0oo~

Two weeks, After the Fall

June 18, 2014

Christian

I'm not in the office fifteen minutes before Ros is seated across from my desk raking me over the coals. I divulged everything to her when she returned from Mexico. Her disappointment in me on a personal level is tangible, but her anger at the damage I have potentially caused to GEH is palpable, coming off her in waves. Evidently, several deals are in jeopardy. Two small projects here in the states, oddly enough the scrap metal deal in Jersey , the very one I was working on when I met Paige in Philadelphia, and a medium sized Silicon Valley company that I want to take over, but not hostilely if I can help it. The one that is going to give me an ulcer is the German merger that we have been working on for the last eighteen months. If the deal falls through with the German telecommunications company it will cost us millions of dollars in lost man hours but the cost in future earnings could run into hundreds of millions if not billions of dollars. All three threatening to back out and exercise the morality clause I insist on in every contract I execute.

I am out of my seat and pacing like a caged animal, beginning to sweat as the knot in my gastro-intestinal tract tightens, and my anal sphincter winks.

"Alright, this might be just what we need to back away from the Jersey deal, as I don't want affiliation with some of the parties who want in on that deal."

"What do you mean?" Ros asks.

"At the dinner that was held I noticed some unsavory parties, that I'd rather not get involved with, looking to move in and get a piece of the action, so I am good with letting that one wither on the vine. Next."

We are in the midst of hammering out a plan of attack to save the other two deals in question, when Andrea's voice breaks through on the intercom.

"Mr. Grey, Taylor is on his way up with a large package from the mailroom for you. Happy Birthday, Sir." She mutters the last bit.

Fuck, I was hoping everyone would just let this slip by quietly. I've never liked a big fuss on my birthday, my hand automatically sweeping through my hair in exasperation.

"Shit, Christian I clean forgot." Ros says as she heads to the door.

"Mmmmh," I grumble, "I wish everyone else had too."

Opening the door we both step toward Andrea's desk. Moments later Taylor carries a large beautifully wrapped package from the elevator. I have little doubt that it has undergone all security checks. He leans the parcel against Andrea's desk, I stoop to pick it up and return to my office when I hear a chorus of…'aww's and no, open it here'. I look up at four sets of wide stretched eyes pleading with me, Ros, Andrea, Olivia, and Summer Nelson, the summer intern, all want to see what it is as well.

I don't know. Taylor gives me a barely perceptible nod; does he know what it is? Oh well, fuck it,….my curiosity is piqued. I unwrap it quickly. What I see causes my heart to constrict and I gasp at the beauty and sentiment of the vision before me.

It's a large, custom framed portrait of Ana and Teddy, taken from a picture that I know well and love. Ana and Ted in the meadow surrounded by tall grass and wild flowers. Her delicate cornflower blue sundress catching the blue of their eyes perfectly. The artist has done a masterful job of capturing the adoration they feel as they gaze into each other's eyes. I can't breathe. My heart is full to bursting. Shit, I can't fall apart in this reception area in front of my employees. I flick a quick look at Ros and Taylor, pick up the treasured painting and quietly shut my office door. If I would allow it emotion would over take me and I would flood my office with tears. Instead I stand the painting on the couch, it's then I notice an envelope in Ana's handwriting. It's a small, handcrafted card accompanying the gift. The inside is the perfect red lip print, she kissed the card. The simplicity of the message swells my heart even more. "Happy Birthday, daddy! We love you so much Christian." I sink into the opposite couch mesmerized, clasping the card in my hand. This is so very typical of Ana. She doesn't try to compete with me on expense of the gifts she gives, she goes straight for the heartstrings, every time. Her gifts are always so thoughtful, personal, touching. Where I want to dazzle and amaze, she wants to embrace and remind me of the love and life we share. Shared. I allow myself to bask in the memories the portrait evokes, a time not so long ago, but a lifetime just the same, when all was right with my world.

What in the fuck was I thinking? Making this up to her will be my life's mission. I won't stop until she forgives me or until I draw my last breath. So lost am I in my musings I don't realize I have visitors in my office. Taylor is standing at my side with an odd quizzical expression on his face.

"I've called you several times, Sir."

"What is it?" I ask, clearing my throat of the emotion bathing it.

It's then I notice the man in the cheap, ill fitting brown suit, uniform of a civil servant, standing just behind Taylor; not waiting for an introduction he steps around Taylor.

"Mr. Christian Grey?" He questions and waits for me to respond.

"Yes." I respond and get to my feet.

"Mr. Grey, you've been served." He thrusts a rather thick packet into my hands then turns on his heels and beats a hasty retreat from my office.

I cannot describe the seconds after I open the packet as my head is spinning and my sight is blurred. I cannot say that I did not know this was coming. After our meeting at the lawyer's office on Monday I knew the official separation papers were in the works, but to hold them in my hand is too much fucking reality.

It's not even lunch time but I know this day is over. I leave for Dr. Flynn's office with the knowledge that my PR Department is drafting a release about the demise of my marriage.

~o0o~

My night terrors are back in a big way. I have woken every night at 4am drenched in sweat and thrashing in the bed on the verge of screaming. Even sleeping in our bed at Grey Meadow didn't help; now that I am back at Escala, they have been ferocious. All the dreams feature Ana or Teddy being taken away from me in some horrible way. The worst one is Ana lying dead on the floor and Paige standing over her. I know this is a direct result of Paige trying to get to Ana at Grey Publishing last week. I was out of my mind with worry after Taylor interrupted my session with Flynn last Monday to tell me that Reynolds reported her parked about a half a block from GP, sitting in her car with her forehead rested on the steering wheel.

"Mr. Grey we have a situation over at Grey Publishing." He has my full attention.

"Reynolds just reported that Miss Dennison is sitting in her car in front of the building. I am heading over there to deal with this myself." I start to rise at the same time barraging him with questions, he holds up his hand to interrupt me.

"I have already been in contact with Sawyer and Ryan to put them both on high alert. Sawyer knows not to allow Mrs. Grey to leave the building, and he won't let her out of his sight until I give the all clear. Ryan knows to keep eyes on Teddy, we are all very skilled in our profession, it would be best if you stayed here out of the way, Sir."

"I'm not going to just sit here while Ana may be in danger," I all but shout, hands raking my hair.

"Standing here arguing with you is wasting time, what if that is exactly what she wants, to manipulate you into a scene in public, to get you where she wants you so she can harm you or distract us from what's really happening. You staying here give me one less person to have to guard; don't make my job harder than it needs to be. Stay here and I will call you when everything is under control, Mr. Grey." Frustration is written across his face, and in every syllable he speaks. I know he is absolutely right.

"SHIT!" I shout in full out anger at this fucked up situation."She's in violation of her NDA, confiscate it, the car is gone."

"Understood, I need to get over there and get this dealt with." With that, Taylor marches from Flynn's office. I still have another hour and a half with the good doctor. There is no way I am going to be able to sit through this session.

Dr. Flynn has been watching our interaction. I turn back to him and he is tapping his chin with his stylus. I am feeling very close to losing it, I feel a violent rage consuming me, and I guess it's a good thing that I am at my shrink's office then.

I blink a few times trying to shift gears. I know I have to calm down, I know that Taylor is the best possible person to handle this shit storm that I have created. I've created, no one else. I clench and unclench my fists, fight every instinct raging through me to dart out that door and run if I have to, to get to Grey Publishing and help to protect my wife. I close my eyes and will myself to wind down and think rationally. After a few tense minutes I finally feel the red haze dissipating. Looking at John, he is watching me, patiently waiting for me to join him in the present, and I sink into my seat feeling utterly defeated.

I return to the present with John quietly watching me, much like last week.

"What were you just reliving?"

"Reliving?" I challenge.

"Yes, reliving, whatever was going on in your head wasn't just a memory, you were in the moment living it again." He explains.

"The day that Ana left for Montesano, and the events that led to her bolting," I answer quietly.

"Bolting, isn't that a rather dramatic use of language?"

"It's what she did, John. After getting Elena's poison pen note, then my accosting her outside of her doctor's office, on top of everything else, she needed distance and the peace that being home could bring her."

"I know that you don't have the same calm sense about her going to Savannah, why is that?"

"For fuck sake John," I erupt. "Montesano is an hour and a half away; Savannah is on the other side of the country. I can be in Montesano in 30 minutes if I take Echo Charlie. I could have dinner with them and tuck Teddy in every night. I can keep a better eye on them, keep them safe closer to Seattle." I rationalize.

He taps furiously on his tablet for a few minutes then looks up and changes topic.

"Anastasia was gorgeous at the ball on Saturday night." He says as a way of diversion. My thoughts floating temporarily back to the moment I saw her in the marquee the night of the ball.

"Yes, John, she was, she was more than gorgeous; she was breathtaking. I remember my breath catching when I glimpsed her talking with Sen. Walton. She looked like an angel, my angel. Everyone was captivated. I stood just outside the marquee for quite some time watching as she worked the room and everyone in it. I actually loved looking at her in the gown she chose. Her taste is impeccable, the gown was sexy as hell and eye catching, while still being innocent, and sweet, capturing her purity completely. She was stunning, a goddess." I have to admit John Flynn is good at what he does, he has managed to guide me away from the unproductive thoughts.

"Do you mind telling me what was going on with you and the gentleman from the Mariner's, I can't recall his name at the moment."

"He's no fucking gentleman John." I bite out hostilely. "He was making a move on Ana, and I told him to back the fuck off, in no uncertain terms, not to even breathe in her direction, that I better not catch him attempting to make any kind of connection with Ana or he would regret setting foot in Seattle." I feel my anger rising again.

"So it wasn't about the fact that you may have been sharing the affections of the same woman? I am taken aback, as I never pegged John Flynn as a fan of the Seattle Nooz.

A humorless chuckle escapes my thoat, and I shake my head no, "No, I could give a shit if he fucked Paige on the pitcher's mound at the Mariner's home opener, but that fucktard will leave Anastasia alone. I don't care if I have a right to interfere or not, it will happen over my dead body. I nearly had a stroke when I walked back in that tent after letting Ray rip me a new asshole, only to be faced with that prick vying for her attention. Fuck that!"

"Did he confirm that he had been…sleeping with her?" Why the fuck is he so interested in this.

I glare at him long and hard. "No, he didn't mention her. He wanted to tell me how beautiful and accomplished my wife is, as if I didn't already know that. He was letting me know he was interested."

"You had to know with all the speculation over your fidelity to your marriage, men would show Ana more attention. As I am sure women are angling to see if they can be next with you."

"You're trying to work me up?" I lean forward placing my elbows on my knees and clasping my hands together.

"Not at all," He states calmly, "I'm just trying to get the dirt on the little tete-a-tete I saw you two having, but your reaction to my asking is telling."

"Telling, how?" I ask.

"You still see Ana as your possession. You still think you have control over whom she sees and what she does. You haven't yet grasped that your three months long affair has stripped you of that right." He gives it to me straight."I can almost guarantee you that is how she is going to see it, and will not appreciate the intrusion. Why have you lost the right to interfere in her life in this way?"

"I betrayed my family by giving my body, affection and time to someone else. They didn't deserve that from me. I would give everything I have if I could turn back the clock and make it so this never happened."

"Remember that when you want to beat your chest because someone dared to step in the place you left empty. I'm sure Mr. Steele had an earful for you, what did he say?"

"What do you think he said?" I ask, my irritation reaching a new height. "He called me a low life son of a bitch, he told me he wanted to knock me the fuck out, and told me I was a rat bastard and that I didn't deserve the love of his daughter. That I already knew."

"It's that, right there, that self sabotaging thought process that's got you in the situation you now find yourself." John reprimands."We are going to be looking very deeply at that, working hard to eradicate that from the way you see yourself."

"What was self sabotaging about what I said?" I angrily bite out. "It's true, look at what I did."

"It's self sabotaging because it allowed you to rationalize your behavior. I'm a…rat bastard, was it," I just sit and glare at him, 'rat bastard' doesn't have the same punch with the lilt of his British accent. Ray knew how to deliver it with meaning.

"I don't deserve her, and this is how I'll prove it." He continues with his ridiculous theory. Exactly what the fuck am I paying him for?

"Christian! If you don't begin to get these self loathing, self sabotaging thoughts and actions under control you can kiss any kind of reconciliation with your wife goodbye. Commit to doing the work or stop wasting my time and yours." He watches me closely for a long moment. "Our appointment wasn't until tomorrow, what sent you here today?"

I drop my head into my hands and rub at my furrowed brow. Once I'm satisfied that there will be an angry red abrasion I raise my head an say…

"I received the separation papers today." I sound pathetic even to my own ears.

"I see," Is all he offers, allowing me to continue.

I recount the morning's events from how ashamed I felt by Ros's reprimand, to the warmth and hope I felt after receiving Ana and Teddy's gift, to the utter hopelessness I felt when the civil servant essentially handed me my ass.

"I know I am teetering on a precipice, and am going to need some help finding the safe middle ground."

Again he is irritatingly tap, tap, tapping on his damn tablet, and nodding his beanie British head.

"Sounds like you have found the middle ground, if you got Ana to agree to a separation instead of divorce."

"I guess you could see it that way. It is separation with three marriage counseling sessions before reassessing the situation. The first session's here in Seattle, before she leaves for Georgia, and the final two in Georgia with a therapist of her choosing." I grind out. "Will you serve as our counselor here?"

"Only if Ana is 100% comfortable with me as the therapist, otherwise I know of an excellent counselor that can step in."

"As I've said before I'd prefer to continue with you…" But he cuts me off.

"For once, this isn't solely about what you want Mr. Grey." He pins me with a glare over the top of his glasses. "When is Ana planning to leave for Georgia?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but I think shortly after the 4th." I answer him glumly.

"I would like to speak with her directly, as soon as possible, so that I can gage for myself her wish for me to serve in the role of marriage counselor."

"Do you think I would lie to you about her willingness to see you in that capacity?" I all but shout, quickly tiring of this meeting.

"No, but I don't hesitate to think you would use undue influence to get what you want." He deadpans.

Well fuck, he's got me there. "Fine, contact her at your earliest convenience. I'll stay completely out of it."

"There may be hope for you yet Christian." A smirk sliding across his lips. "One more question and our time will be up."

"What?" Churlish.

"What was in the note from Mrs. Lincoln?"

I blow a long breath, " a childish and snide 'I told you so', just something to cut Anastasia with. It simply said 'I tried to tell you,' in some fancy over done script, like calligraphy." I can't look him in the eye, because I coaxed this snake from under her rock.

"Why do you emphasize that?" He already knows, but I tell him anyway.

"Just like me and Elena something ugly and nasty covered by pretty packaging." No response but his lips are thin and tight and his jaw is working.

"Was Ana aware of what the note contained?"

"No, Sawyer handed it to me unopened."

"I hope you see how poisonous she is, I hope you finally see that she delights in pain, your pain, Ana's pain, and I certainly hope you haven't risen to the taunt and contacted her." He's lost the hard edge his voice formerly cut me with.

"Almost, but I realized in time that all she wanted was to be in my presence, even if I was berating her. So I tossed the note on a tray and set it ablaze, then washed my hands."

He walks over to his printer, and hands me a sheet of paper.

"What's this?" I ask, eyeing the paper.

"Homework, so your work begins," As he shows me the door.

~oo0oo~

Much thanks to authors C & M, you're right that bullshit sucked and was totally unnecessary.

All previous disclaimers still apply. Thank you ELJ