First, thank you to those who left a review.

My wonderfully beautiful daughter (; & . .

Secondly, I would like to apologize for the whole month that I went without updating.

Hopefully this chapter (the longest one yet) will make up for it.

I promised an emotional roller coaster and that is what you shall get.

PS. There will be some blood and violence.

Also, RENT lyrics.

Warren's legs felt as if they were strapped to cinderblocks as she climbed each step. She stopped at her room for a moment to grab a hidden bottle of wine out of her closet when she saw Derek sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. "Hey, I thought you were taking a nap?"

He shook his head, then looked down at the wall. "What's wrong?"

Derek looked up at her with those green eyes she adored. "Do I even want to go back? I know you've told me everything, but do I really want to remember everything that happened? My family, when Laura died, my betas?" He spoke his last words as if they were foreign to him.

She walked over to him, kneeling on the ground as she took his hands in hers. "There were good things too. There was always good things."

"Like what?"

She gave him a small smile. "You saved my life. More times then I can count. Stopped Peter from turning me,"

He stared at her with wide eyes. "You never said,"

She still only smiled for him. "He tried to use my love for you and Laura to convince me, and when I said no, he was going to anyways. But you stopped him."

Derek shook his head and looked as if he was about to cry. "But what about those kids that I bit? I got them killed and Isaac? Why would I want-"

She pressed her hand against his mouth. "Life sucks Derek. Its the truth. There are things about it that suck and I won't lie, yours has sucked a bit more then most, but you are still alive and you do no give up. Thats not who you are. You're not a quitter."

"Maybe I am."

Warren stood and shook her head. "Well I won't let you." She took a deep breath. "Now go downstairs and help your pack figure out how to turn you back."

He looked up at her. "What are you going to do?"

"Take a shower." He nodded and blushed slightly.

She watched as he left the room and the moment he was gone, she walked over to her closet, pulled the bottle of wine out and headed towards the bathroom. Once the door was locked behind her, she pulled the cork and started drinking from the bottle as she turned the water on.

Warren was trying so hard not to hate Malia, to try and be her friend and help her through this transition, but so far she was making it very hard. And it had nothing to do with her sleeping with Stiles every night. No, this feeling in her gut had nothing to do with that; she was better then that.

She held the bottle in one hand and stripped her clothes off with the other, switching off when she needed and once she was naked, brought the bottle into the shower with her. Warren sat on the shower floor and let the water pour over her as she continued to drink, thinking that then was as good as anytime to finish the bottle off.

Logically she knew she should let go of her hatred, anger and sadness regarding her mother, but she knew that was not going to happen anytime soon because she knew that she needed to confront her before she could do that. Which was hard to do if she couldn't find her.

After the accident when Warren woke up in the hospital and she was alone, she knew in her heart that her sister and brother were dead, if they had been okay, they would have been in the room with her, regardless of their own injuries. She didn't find out till the next day, from Melissa that her mother had taken off after Audrey and Maken had been pronounced dead and her dad was in a state of shock.

Warren was sure that her mother would have shown up for the funeral, but she didn't and she never heard from her mother again. Less then three months after his oldest children were in the ground, her dad bailed. He claimed that he got a better job in the city and that it would be easier to look for his wife there, but Warren knew that he just couldn't handle being in Beacon Hills anymore, surrounded by his dead children, abandoned by his wife and left with his last child, the one that looked too much like her mother and dead sister.

They had struck a deal; she stayed in school, kept her grades up and stayed out of trouble, she could stay in Beacon Hills with her friends and he would pay for it. Not being able to stand even the sight of him, she instantly agreed. The only clause was that she had to check in with the sheriff every week, which was not a problem for either of them and like that, he disappeared.

She took another swig of the wine and sighed. She really should be manning up and getting out of the shower so she could help solve the latest of the Beacon Hills supernatural problem. As she set the bottle on the floor of the tub, she pulled her hair over to the side and ran her fingers over the scar. It was still angrily red, feathering out to a soft pink in a perfect straight line, the line of a sword.

Warren didn't know where he had gotten the sword or why he had chosen to use that to kill her with, but as she pressed her hand to it, she could still feel the quick pain of the blade entering her chest and the burning sensation as it left and she began to bleed out.

She closed her eyes and thought about the moments after it had happened, how he had looked at her as she crumpled to the ground with a thud, how he had lingered a few moments before leaving her to die.

Warren sighed before she finished off the bottle and took a deep breath. Enough of the pity party, she had to stop feeling sorry for herself and get this thing figured out so they would be ready for whatever came next.

Shakily standing, she grabbed her favorite soap and quickly washed everything that needed to be washed before turning the water off and proceeded to dry herself off. She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, thinking about the dark circles under her eyes and how pale she was starting to get, but she shook her head and reminded herself that her friends needed her, therefore she did not have the luxury to pity herself. Not right now at least.

As Warren got dressed, she turned on some music and sang along with the words she knew very well. Throwing on track shorts and an oversized tee shirt did not take very long and as she walked down the stairs, she was still singing, "Take me baby, or leave me,"

Malia looked up at her, her brow furled as she looked to everyone else for an explanation, but was met with smiles. "What?" She asked as Scott still smiled.

"It means that she's doing better." He muttered as Warren sauntered in, still singing. "A tiger in a cage,

can never see the sun,

this diva needs her stage,

baby lets have fun.

You are the one I choose, folks would kill to fill your shoes,"

She pointed over to Scott. "You love the lime light too now baby, so mine be mine and don't waste my time,

cryin oh honey bear, are you still my my my baby!"

Stiles pointed at her. "Don't you dare."

But she only smirked, then winked. "Take me for what I am,

who I was meant to be,

and if you give a damn,

take me baby or leave me.

No way can I be what I'm not,

but hey don't you want your girl hot,

don't fight,

don't lose your head,

because every night, who's in your bed?

Who?

Who's in your bed?

Kiss pookie."

Before she could sit at the table, Stiles spoke. "Thank you for not flashing us again."

She rolled her eyes as Scott made a face as if he remembered that. "What? I was drunk and these," She grabbed her chest. "Just needed to be shared with the world."

Scott laughed, but Stiles said nothing. "Anyways, did you guys figure anything out while I was showering?" When no one answered, she nodded and then looked over to the clock. "Maybe you guys should call it a day. Derek and I will try and get some work done."

She was met with stares but stood her ground. "If I get anything, I will call you guys. There's not point all of us being cooped in all day. Plus, I know some of us," She looked over at Scott. "Have homework that needs to be done."

He looked down as if he was guilty and nodded. "Okay, but the second you know,"

Warren nodded. "The second I have anything, I will call you. Now everyone get out." Slowly everyone filed out of the room, leaving Warren and Derek alone at the kitchen table.

Once they were sure everyone was gone, Derek gave her a look. "You like Stiles, don't you?"

Her head shot up and she stared at him. "Are you remembering things?" Derek shook his head and knew he had his answer.

Warren sighed as she stood, walked over to the fridge and pulled out to sodas for them and sat back at the table. "Its complicated."

"Because he's with Malia?"

Warren nodded. "That's just one of the things."

He nodded and for a while they sat there in silence till he spoke again. "Why did you refuse the bite when I offered it to you?"

This time her entire body stopped moving as if she was a deer caught in headlights. She slowly looked up at him and took a deep breath. "I love you Derek and I always have, but when you came back, you were different and filled with so much anger, that I almost didn't recognize you. I tried to help you, but you and the boys just didn't get along, at all. And when you became the alpha, I didn't agree with how you were handling things."

Derek nodded. "You mean my betas."

She nodded as well. "And I knew if I said yes to you that I would lose Stiles and Scott, and if I said no,"

"You still had all of us." He finished for her and she nodded.

"I'm selfish that way and you understood," She thought about it for a moment, "Not the part about Stiles, but for the most part." She ran her hand through her hair. "Lets get back to this, shall we?"

Derek only nodded and went back to his book, but he wasn't paying attention, he was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with Warren.

Warren had to reread the same paragraph twice before she came across a possible solution. Without looking up at Derek, Warren stood and walked out with the book. "Be right back." She muttered as she left.

When she walked into her mothers office, she quickly grabbed a book off the shelf, opened it one handed and flipped through it. With a smile, she walked back into the kitchen with her head still in the books. "I think I found something."

When Derek did not answer, she looked up at saw Kate standing there with a blade to Derek's throat. Warren stilled and tried to calculate how long it would take her to get to her gun but that idea was quickly crushed when Kate held her gun up in her opposite hand.

"Looking for this?" She inquired with a smirk, but Warren did not answer her as she slowly put her books on the counter.

"Derek, you okay?" He nodded stiffly and Warren took a deep breath. "Here to finish the job?"

Kate laughed wickedly, her eyes changing for a moment as she smirked at Warren. "Oh no sweetheart, I'm here for Derek. But you're going to be a bonus."

Warren shook her head. "I'm not going to help you."

"Neither am I!" Derek shouted as he tried to fight her off, but Kate pressed the blade harder against his neck.

Kate looked between the two and raised her eyebrows. Before either of them could react, Kate was across the room and now had Warren in a choke hold with the blade against her.

"Well, that't not going to work for me. So Derek, you take me to your families vault or I see how much of the house I can paint with her blood."

Derek growled, his eyes changing yellow for a moment, but Warren shook her head slightly.

"Its okay Derek."

Kate smiled. "That's a good girl. Just as smart as I remembered." And just like that, Derek led them to the Hale Vault. While Kate focused on Derek, Warren carefully dialed Stiles and stayed on the line with them.

Warren was surprised to that the vault was at the high school, then again she knew that the Hales had been in Beacon Hills for a long time so it really should not have surprised her.

As they walked into the vault, Warren started talking. "Why did you do this?"

Kate rolled her eyes at her as she tighten her grip on Warren. "Derek, remember the talisman you had? With the family symbol? I need it."

"Thats what you need?" Warren remembered what she was talking about; it was used to teach the younger wolves control over their shift.

This made Warren smile; if she could get Kate talking, she might get answers out of her. "That's it, isn't it? You can't control your shift."

She felt sharp claws dig into her neck and Kate's breath against her ear. "Does that feel like I can't control it?"

Warren took a deep breath. "Maybe now, but not around the full moon. Its why you need it." Kate hissed at her and she nodded.

Derek looked over to Warren, worried about her as he looked over the talisman. "It wont help you."

"What do you mean?" She snarled into her ear, but Warren remained calm.

"Tell her Derek. She needs an anchor. The talisman is just training wheels, its not a cure all." Kate growled again. "You need something that keeps you human."

"Like what?"

Warren looked over at Derek and then thought about Scott. "For Derek its anger, but it wont work for you because you're too angry. It just changes you. And for Scott it was Allison, till they weren't together anymore."

"Don't you dare talk about her. You monsters are the reasons she's dead!"

Warren decided not to comment on the irony, but instead kept Kate talking, distracting her till the pack showed up. "You don't get to talk about her either, you used her!"

"I was training her." Warren rolled her eyes. "And you should have died!" Kate yelled in her ear as tears threaten to fall.

"I would gladly trade places with Allison any day. The pack needs her, they don't need me and don't you for a second think I don't feel that guilt every day. That if I had died, things would have played out differently and that blade wouldn't have gone through her heart."

Kate screamed as she ripped into Warren's side with her claws and pushed her away. Before Derek could make it over to her, a flash bomb hit the room.

As Warren lay on the ground and tried to slow the bleeding, she reminded herself to stay conscious. If she lost consciousness, she could die.

As fighting was going on around her, she jumped as someone came to her side. "Warren?" Derek's panicked voice called out as she held his hand.

"If I don't make it, tell him I'm sorry, okay?"

"Don't,"

"Please Derek, okay?" He nodded as he held her close.

When the smoke from the flash bomb faded, Derek saw Peter walk in and called him over. He looked Warren over worriedly then looked at Derek. "Get to Scott and the others. They need you."

"Don't let her die." He growled as Peter resisted rolling his eyes and nodded. Once Derek was gone, Peter looked around the room and cursed when he saw that the safe was open and empty.

"Son of a bitch." He heard Warren chuckle.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just bleeding." She remarked as he knelt next to her, took her hand and then took her pain.

"Yeah yeah, I've seen you walk away from worse."

She laughed softly, then made a face when it hurt. "How bad?" She asked, but it went unanswered as things began to go dark and before she closed her eyes, she was sure a grown Derek was running towards her.

When Warren came to, she knew she was somewhere familiar and from the scent, it was Scott's house. "Mother fucker." She muttered as she felt someones hand on her wrist and when she turned her head, she saw a grown Derek sitting there. "Hey there stranger."

He smiled back at her and brushed her hair out of her face with his free hand. She licked her lips and realized how thirsty she was, and as if by magic, Derek produced a glass of water.

After taking several large gulps, Derek took the glass back and set it down behind him. "How bad?" She asked as he looked down at her bandaged side, then back to her.

"You're so stupid and reckless."

She wanted to shrug, but she knew it would hurt. "I had to distract her. I knew the pack was coming."

As Derek went to say something, Isaac walked into the room and his face lit up when he saw she was okay. "She's awake!" He shouted as he ran over to the couch and kissed her forehead. "I'm so glad you're okay." She smiled at him as she reached up and touched his soft curls for a moment.

Not three seconds later, was the rest of the pack in the room and from the way Stiles was looking at her, he had heard what she told Kate. Malia was the first to speak. "I'm glad you're not dead."

Warren chuckled despite the pain. "Thank you Malia, means a lot." She nodded as she held Stiles's hand tighter.

Derek brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "Thank you, for everything." She nodded as he left and let Stiles take his seat. "Come on guys, I think he wants to talk to her alone." Stiles was very quiet as he stood there and watched her as their friends filed out of the room.

Once they were alone, he started pacing. He would look as if he was going to say something, turn to her, but then he would stop and look away and continue to pace. "You're making me dizzy."

Stiles stopped dead in his tracks and took a deep breath. "Do you have a frickin death wish? Kate Argent, you let Kate fucking Argent take you,"

"She had the claws and my gun. What was I supposed to do? Derek was a puppy at the time and I'm kind of human."

Stiles shook his head. "Then act like one! You're not invincible Warren."

Figuring that Melissa had given her some good drugs, Warren was not going to snap at Stiles and instead slowly pushed herself up and looked at him. "I was protecting Derek. And I was binding my time till you guys showed would have worked if Allison hadn't been brought up."

Warren looked down, thinking about what she had said to Kate. Stiles took the seat in front of her and pulled her hands into his. "Do you have a death wish?" He asked softly, looking at her with his big, whiskey colored eyes and she knew she should lie to him, but she did not know if she could.

"Its the second time you've said that you should have died. That you would trade places with her, god Warren, please don't tell me you actually think that, do you?"

She looked down at their joined hands and decided then that she would lie to him. Warren shook her head. "I was just trying to keep her talking. I guess it backfired, huh?"

He laughed softly with her and leaned forward and kissed her forehead and his lips hovering above her skin, he muttered. "I can't lose you Warren. I can't. Please, just be careful." She nodded and did not want to pull away but she could not let herself fall into the trap of wanting him; not again, not with Malia around.

As if he was reading her mind, Derek walked into the room and cleared this throat slightly, before crossing his arms over his chest. "She needs more rest Stiles."

He looked over to Derek then back over to her and nodded. "Yeah. Right. Get some rest." She nodded and watched him leave as Derek took his original seat.

"We need to talk."

She nodded. "Yeah, how did you get all man sized again?" She joked, but knew that was not what he wanted to talk about. "Take me home first."

Derek gave her a tight smile and nodded. "Okay. I'll get Isaac." She nodded as well and stared into space as she waited for them.

Once they were back at her house, Derek gave Isaac one look and he went upstairs, giving Warren a faint goodnight. When Derek knew that Isaac was situated in his room, he looked at Warren and shook his head.

"Thank you." She looked at him strangely. "For explaining everything the way you did. For making it as easy as you could."

She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "You know I love you and I don't want to see you hurt. It killed me to have to tell you about all of that again."

He nodded. "And thank you for not giving up."

She smiled. "Its what we do, you know?"

He nodded again. "So, you want to tell me what going on with you?"

Warren sighed. "I wish everyone would stop asking."

Derek shook his head. "Thats not how this works. We just care about you."

She nodded, holding her side slightly. "I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to get over him Derek, and I can't because I need space and I can't get that when there is a new fucking crisis every five minutes around here. So, I'm dealing with it."

"By fucking a deputy."

She shrugged. "Its a distraction and its fun."

He stared at her and sighed. "I wish there was something I could say or do,"

She squeezed his hand again. "We could always get married."

He smirked. "I tried offering that earlier, you said no."

She smirked as well. "Well, you were sixteen, now that you're all adult size again, I'm down."

He laughed and shook his head at he kissed her hand. "I love you too much to marry you."

She rolled her eyes and took as deep of a breath as she could. "Go check on Isaac. He was worried about you and Scott doesn't know what to say to him, not since he's been back. He needs someone."

Derek nodded. "Looks like he has you."

"He needs someone with a penis. I am, fortunately without one."

Derek leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I'll check on you in a while." She nodded and watched as he disappeared up the stairs.

This was her life and sometimes, she hated it. Sometimes, she wished she had died in the car accident, or in her room only weeks ago, but she was a survivor, whether she liked it or not.

While Derek was upstairs with Isaac, Warren slowly pushed herself off of the couch and made her way to the back porch. She sat herself down on one of the lawn chairs and stared up at the sky.

Warren didn't look away from the sky when she heard the door slide open and someone sit in one of the chairs next to her; she knew who it was. "Are you going to keep sleeping with Parrish?"

Warren sighed as she tilted her head to the side and tried to remember which constellation she was staring at. "I honestly don't know. Plus, I don't know why it bothers you." She said as she looked at Derek who was giving her a peculiar look.

"Because he's at least five years older than you."

Warren shrugged, wincing when she felt the stitches pull. "Like I told you, he's a distraction."

Derek sighed. "Have you tried talking to him?"

Warren glared at him. "Is the king of not talking about his feelings really suggesting that I talk to someone about them?"

He rolled his eyes at her as he handed her a beer and she took it without word. "Even if we did, it would only end up in a screaming match or tears or both. I literally cannot handle that right now. Right now I need to focus on,"

"On being okay."

Warren looked up at him.

"I mean it. I heard what he said to you, and he's right. You need to start acting like you're human."

Warren shook her head. "I stop doing what I do and one of you are going to die."

"And you could die." When she was silent, he merely nodded. "I know what its like, to not want to carry on anymore, but I won't allow it."

She offered him a sad smile. "I know, but you guys are all I have left,"

"Warren,"

"So I'm going to keep doing what I have always done, because that's how we stay alive, okay?"

Derek sighed and knew she was not going to listen to his reason. "As long as it stays 'we'." She rolled her eyes at him before nodding.

"I'm glad you're back."

Derek smiled as he reached out and grabbed her hand. "Me too."

Review and let me know what you think of the roller coaster. I know everyone is telling Warren that they care about her, and that's going to be important later on, because she does forget that she's human sometimes.