BENEATH THE SURFACE
Part Fifteen
Remy slept poorly that night, his night full of broken sleep thanks to rather disturbing vivid dreams.
No...not dreams. Memories.
When he'd awoken at four am from one of the worst, Jean-Luc's silhouette had been looming over his mattress, standing looking at him like some huge black giant looming over a tiny village about to be trampled.
When he'd switched on the lamp he'd put on the floor next to the mattress, he hadn't been there of course (not that he was able to see anyway) but Remy hadn't been able to get back to sleep nonetheless.
Although he wasn't meant to be getting out of bed at that time of morning, he went for an early shower and went to the mansion's library, tried to focus on reading more of the history and science books in there in the hopes to prepare for high school. Sitting at one of the tables in there, reading and trying to focus, he eventually doze off without intention; when he woke up, he could smell breakfast coming from the kitchen not far down the hall, the scent of coffee was strong, beckoning him.
Sighing, closing his books but not bothering to put them away, he stumbled tiredly to the kitchen, finding he was the last to arrive; there was very little left at the table. He dropped himself into the only seat available, it being corner-wise to Rogue, who was pretending to not even notice his presence, and he grabbed a piece of toast from the plate in the middle of the table.
"Sleep in?" asked Tabitha, she was playing absently with a loomband bracelet.
"Y' know how it is when y' sleep deep," Remy yawned a little; it was much easier to lie than to admit he hadn't slept all that much at all. "Becomes a struggle t' get out of bed."
"How's...things?" Tabitha asked.
Rogue raised her eyes from her plate and glanced between the both of them, her eyes squinted just a little.
Remy knew at once what Tabitha was asking, and he knew at once it would be foolish to try and broach the subject in a room full of people (especially those who didn't know what Tabitha knew), and even more foolish to talk about it in front of Rogue. "I don' wan' talk about it," he said quietly.
Rogue looked back down to her scrambled eggs, she pushed them around on her plate a little absently. She didn't seem all that hungry this morning.
"You got any plans today?" asked Tabitha.
"I-" Remy began, not sure how he was going to answer. It seemed to him Tabitha was looking for reasons to hang out with him and he thought it wise to try and make up some kind of excuse before she could ask.
"Professor wants to see you in his office after breakfast," Logan said to Remy, he didn't even look up from his paper.
"About?" Remy asked; he already sensed what this was going to be for. He'd been waiting for this meeting since yesterday; he was surprised it hadn't been broached as of yet. Trying to hide his anxiety about the subject, he picked up a fork and helped himself to some of Rogue's scrambled eggs (as there were none left in the serving dish), much to her disdain.
"How should I know?" Logan snorted, "just go."
Rogue pushed the plate towards him, seeming rather put out by his behaviour. She said nothing about it. Remy almost thought to argue that she hadn't been eating them anyway, but he didn't need drama this early in the day.
Taking another bite of the eggs, Remy shrugged. "Fine, I'll go."
"So, what do you have planned?" Tabitha asked again.
"Rogue's gon' help me figure out what I shoul' be bonin' up on before goin' back t' school," Remy replied.
Rogue turned to look at him questioningly, "Ah am?"
There were chuckles at the end of the table from Bobby and Jamie. Remy could only imagine it was because he'd said 'boning', which to them was far too suggestive with their immature sense of humour.
"We gon' be in the same classes, ain' we? Y' gon' know much better what I shoul' be lookin' at 'fore I go there. I don' wan' go there lookin' like an idiot."
"If you don't want to go to Bayville High looking like an idiot, then you should naybe think about getting some new clothes," Tabitha smirked, "and a haircut."
"Tabitha," warned Ororo, "there's nothing wrong with his clothes or his haircut."
"Ah like his haircut," Rogue said quietly, she sipped at her orange juice, Remy noted her eyeing his hair; he felt slightly pleased she disagreed with Tabitha, and even more so that she was looking him like that.
"Yeah, but it's not really in or anything," Tabitha pointed out.
"What, because it's not a Beiber cut?" Rogue sneered. "Not everyone wants to look like one of the Beatles."
"He doesn't even have his hair like that any more...but like, a crew cut would be kind of hot..." Tabitha reached over and pushed Remy's hair away from his forehead to thoughtfully examine it as she held it up a little, "hair like Channing Tatum...that'd be so good on you...it'd be sexy."
Rogue looked away in disgust, "Ah think Ah just threw up in my mouth a little."
Remy shrugged out of Tabitha's touch, and combed his fingers a little through his hair and ruffled it, it'd taken months to grow out after accidentally singing it thanks to Pyro's powers, "it took me eight hours o' sleep t' get my hair t' look this bad, I'd appreciate if y' stop tryin' t' make it look neat and respectable."
"Just trying to help," Tabitha said cheerfully.
"Right," Rogue muttered under her breath.
"You should really consider a hair cut though," Tabitha said, thoughtfully still examining him, her eyes soft.
"Yeah that ain' gon' happen," Remy muttered, "I got ears like Will Smith, they stick out a mile wit' short hair."
Rogue laughed under her breath at this admission, "Well...Ah didn't want to say anythin'..."
"Ouch, I think y' jus' broke my heart a lil'," Remy pouted at Rogue.
Rogue gave him a warning expression. She didn't like that comment, he felt slightly smug about it too.
Tabitha brushed his hair away from his ear curiously, "they're not so bad," she supposed.
"Yeah, when the hair is hidin' them," Remy pushed her hand away the second he felt her fingers brush against his skin; it made him feel immediately uncomfortable, it caught him by surprise somewhat too. He turned to Rogue quickly, making a point of letting her know he was dismissing Tabitha's clear attempt to flirt. "So y' gon' help me, right?"
"Ah suppose," Rogue gave in, expression a little sour.
Remy polished off the plate of eggs quickly, "I'll text y' when I'm done with the Professor and we can meet in the library," Remy said, he stood up. Without meaning to, he gently caressed her arm. He felt her tense up a little and she turned to look at him a little dangerously. He realised he'd probably made it look a little obvious, he wondered why he should even care – it wasn't like anyone else even seemed to notice.
As he walked to the Professor's office, he wondered how angry Rogue really was with him about last night and what he'd admitted to Tabitha about how he thought his wife didn't love him. The look on her face at breakfast had been enough to convince him she was still quite irritated; he was certain it wouldn't be until they were alone he would get an earful of complaint about last night.
He knocked gently on the Professor's office door and waited to be invited in; upon entering he saw the Professor was sitting at his desk, a cup of coffee poised in his hand. He seemed to have been reading a newspaper, but it had been set aside.
"Logan said y' wan' t' see me 'bout somethin'," Remy said, he closed the door behind himself and stood there.
"Yes, please sit."
Remy sat down upon the chair opposite the Professor's desk. It reminded him oddly of being pulled into the principal's office when he had gone to school years before. It was almost always because of his poor behaviour, and when it wasn't, it was because of the teachers dislike for mutants meaning he was usually picked on for the littlest thing. "Somethin' wrong?" he asked. Here it comes, he thought.
"We have to discuss something rather important," the Professor stated calmly.
"I'm guessin' y' referrin' t' my lil' fender bender..." Remy decided the direct approach.
"If by fender bender you mean the accident that could have killed you and left your car a wreck..." the Professor began, "then yes."
"I knew y' was gon' wan' see me sooner or later," Remy admitted.
"I wanted to talk to yesterday, but I wanted to do some checking before I made any rash decisions about the situation. You see, when you first came to the institute, I did warn you that one single incident with alcohol would be all it took for your dismissal."
"Yeah, you did," Remy responded. Was this it? Was he really going to be dismissed for a thoughtless lie? Not like he could take it back now, he supposed.
"However, this is a rather...complicated case, and I'm sure you know why."
"Not at all," Remy lied.
"I checked the hospital toxicology report...there was no alcohol in your system."
"Mus' be some mistake," Remy dared to say. He hated feeling that lying about this was still easier than admitting the truth about Jean-Luc and his attempt to kill him.
"No, there's no mistake. Even Logan couldn't detect a whiff of it on your breath..." the Professor assured. "So dismissing you would be rather unfair."
"Then I don' see the problem," Remy said carefully.
"The problem is," the Professor began, "is that you lied for some reason."
Remy looked away, "I lost control of the car."
"How?"
"It was a pretty shit car...I put my foot on the clutch on a corner," Remy replied.
"There weren't any corners there," the Professor frowned, "Logan drove up there yesterday to look at the area the accident occurred; the road was perfectly straight."
Remy tried to think clearly how to fabricate anything believable, right now, his mind was drawing nothing but blanks.
"I had the car looked at, and other than a rather large sum of money hidden in the seats – which I'm assuming you were aware of – there was nothing unusual."
"Yeah, I knew about the money," Remy replied, "I put it there."
"It was a rather interesting balance to be hiding in a car."
"It was emergency money...Jus' in case my accounts were seized or hacked...I had t' have a backup plan. My...family weren' the most honest o' people. They also weren' the smartest when it came t' knowin' where I'd hide hard cash."
"Well...I've had the money placed in a safe for the time being until you should need it," Professor Xavier stated quietly.
"I'm surprised the police ain' been on my case yet 'bout the accident."
"I've taken measures to ensure they didn't get involved," the Professor replied.
"What happened to the car?"
"It was taken to a junk yard, I was assured it was beyond repair."
"Damn. Will I end up wit' my license bein' revoked?"
"I feel like you're trying to change the subject."
"Oh?"
"Yes...the subject that you've lied for some reason about what happened..."
"I didn' lie," Remy replied, "my foot did slip on the clutch..."
It slipped 'cause the ghost grabbed me...but y' ain' likely t' believe that, Remy thought dully.
"I'm not sure I trust that," the Professor replied.
"Trus' what y' like," Remy replied calmly.
"Remy...I think there's more going on here than you're willing to talk about."
"That's y' own opinion."
"If...there is something going on, then you're well within your right to have certain secrets. However...I do think we've come to the point where you need to be talking to someone."
Remy groaned inwardly, this he had not been expecting.
"I've made you an appointment with a Doctor for this afternoon."
"A doctor..." Remy repeated, he frowned, "y' don' mean a doctor, y' mean a shrink."
"A psychiatrist," the Professor replied, "someone you can speak to...about any issues that you feel you can't share with myself...or Rogue. Someone who will not divulge any of your secrets."
"Y' so sure I have secrets," Remy snorted.
"Everyone has secrets," the Professor replied.
Remy stared down at the desk; he hated the idea of this and yet, the thoughts of what had happened last night came rushing back; Jean-Luc at the kitchen counter throwing that jar. And then in the car, when he'd felt him touch him. And the dreams...the nightmares. Maybe it was time to see someone.
Ain' a psychiatrist y' need, it's a parapsychologist...but hell, 'psych' is in the title, that's got t' be good for somethin', Remy thought.
But still, to give in? To admit he almost agreed it was time that he had to speak to someone about his problems?
"Y' can't make me go," Remy said quietly, forcing the tiniest hint of insolence in his tone.
The Professor tilted his head, Remy felt himself almost being read. Yes, the old man sensed this was a game, an act. "I'm...going to have to insist on this..."
"Insist, huh?" Remy dared.
"For your own sake, and the sake of my students."
"And...I suppose y' gon' tell me that...if I decline, then I got t' leave...and y' know I ain' gon' leave 'cause I ain' willin' t' leave my wife...Rogue would never come with me if I had t' go," Remy sighed, pretending to give in almost reluctantly, "I got too much t' lose by leavin'," he looked away, "Y' got me over a barrel, don' y'?"
The Professor raised an eyebrow at him.
Finally, Remy succumbed, "Fine. I'll go. But I don' know what good it gon' do. An' jus' 'cause I'm goin' don' mean I agree wit' this."
"Your appointment is at two pm. Logan will drive you."
"I'll drive myself," Remy replied.
"No, you've been banned from driving for the time being. And right now, I'd prefer to have you chaperoned, to make sure you do attend this appointment. Logan will take you."
"Does it got t' be him?" Remy demanded.
"Yes," Professor Xavier replied.
"I don' wan' anyone else knowin' about this," Remy stood up slowly, "especially not Rogue."
"You have my word."
Rogue wasn't sure how to feel today. She was caught between her worry that Tabitha was about to steal Remy from right under her very nose, and her anger that Remy had decided to declare he was having marital problems to the same girl.
With every step on her way to the Library after Remy's text, all Rogue could think of was Tabitha's shameless flirting with him. The way she'd touched him, Rogue felt her blood boil having seen the blonde's petite little bare fingers skim Remy's left ear. He'd seemed a little flustered, Tabitha had seem delighted, Rogue had felt furious.
Thanks to his sayin' his marriage was on the rocks, all he's done is make it easy on her, make her think he's fair game now!
She had to pause at the door of the library for a moment to calm herself down, she was almost afraid she would stomp on in and demand why he let Tabitha go on like that at Breakfast at all. Rogue wanted to believe he was just being polite, trying not to be too hurtful and rejecting but there was a part of herself that was still replaying over and over in her head the image of him kissing with his ex-girlfriend in Louisiana, and it still stung. If he'd do that, flirting back or accepting Tabitha's advances was well within the realm of possibility.
Trying to push it out of her mind, she stepped into the library. Remy was already in there, standing on one of the ladders to reach a high shelf, he was gazing at the spines of books, expression a little lost.
"What did the Professor want?" Rogue asked as she pushed the library door shut so they could talk privately.
Remy didn't even turn to look at her, he ran his finger absently over the spine of a book, "jus' wanted t' see me about all this high school shit."
"What about it?"
"He jus' wanted t' see if there was anythin' I was worried about...y' know, 'cause it's been so long since I went t' a school..." he picked a book out and looked at it.
Rogue thought this a rather odd reason the Professor would ask to see him, she couldn't recall him caring so much about the school situation when it had been any one else. Rogue moved to a nearby table and she sat upon it, "Are you worried about anythin'?"
"Yeah," he remarked, "that I might need t' fuck a teacher t' pass a class and she's gon' be over sixty wit' tits down t' her knees. D' y' think I'd be able t' get viagra on prescription or woul' I have t' steal it from the drug store?"
"Very funny," Rogue frowned at him, "did he give you a list of your classes yet?"
"Not yet," Remy replied, "but he said me an' you gon' have most o' the same classes...except I ain' gon' be doin' home economics," he muttered.
"Shame, you'd probably be able to show the teacher a thing or two," Rogue supposed.
"Yeah, sure I'd be able to show her a good few things she don' know," Remy smirked suggestively.
Rogue groaned, "do you have to be such a pig?"
"Y' the one who mentioned it," he came down the ladder.
"By the way, thanks for complicatin' things even more with Tabitha," she muttered.
"Way I see it, I didn' complicate it at all."
"How you see it that way?" Rogue raised an eyebrow.
"'Cause I've admitted that my marriage is on the rocks, then I'm gon' be a little...y' know...gloomy, in need of consolin'..."
"And then Tabitha is gonna swoop right in and give you all the consolin' you need?" Rogue dared, "probably with her hands down your pants."
"No," Remy frowned at her.
"She had her hands all over you at breakfast..."
"And I rejected her, didn' I? As nicely as I coul'."
"I suppose," she snorted.
"Y' know, you coul' always swoop in and give me consolation 'fore blondie gets the chance," he pointed out, "all on the guise o' bein' a good friend and it eventually escalatin' t' real feelin's or somethin'. "
"Why would Ah do that?" Rogue asked coolly.
"Y' wan' play this game f' ever?" he demanded. "'Cause I don'. I'm sick of the way things is gon'. Y' don' wan' play married life in front of everyone then fine, but we gon' have t' play boyfriend and girlfriend. eventually...no pretendin' t' hate each other, no stayin' away from each other, no actin' like nothin' is goin' on between us."
"What if Ah don't want to do that?" she asked, feeling a little attacked.
"I'm gon' tell them."
"Who's gonna believe you?" Rogue dared.
Remy put the book down on the table, "everyone."
"Sure."
"I got pictures, Rogue."
"Pictures," she repeated, a vague laugh escaped her lips. "You have pictures..."
"Pictures of y' in a weddin' dress...Y' think they gon' think it all lies then?"
"We can't tell anyone about bein' married!" she hissed quietly, her eyes wide.
"Fine. What about pictures on the yacht? What about the pictures I got of y' in that little black dress y' wore the night we went t' that nightclub?"
"How-?"
"I took 'em when y' wasn' lookin'," he commented. "Okay, so, it won' prove much, but they gon' wonder what y' had t' gain by dressin' like that. Had t' be f' someone."
"That's blackmail."
"Y' been practically blackmailin' me," he commented, "forcin' me t' keep our secrets, makin' me feel like y' gon' hate me if I don't. Tables turned. Time t' stop."
"Remy..." she groaned.
"And now is a perfect time," he leaned on the table, "we gon' be at school t' gether...gon' make it real easy t' look like it all happen naturally. We'll be spendin' all the time t' gether in the same classes, eatin' lunch t' gether. It'll look like a high school romance."
Rogue sighed.
"Y' was the one who said y' wanted t' start slow, build up a relationship. We'll do it all jus' like that...lunch dates at school, I'll take y' t' whatever dances there are...I'll flirt wit' y' in front of the others...it'll all fall in t' place."
"Yeah," Rogue snorted as she swung her legs absently at the edge of the table, "then the others will ask why me. Why would someone like you want someone you can't touch?"
"Why wouldn't I wan' y'? Y' beautiful..."
"Pfft," she snorted, frowning as she looked away from him.
"Y' beautiful," he repeated, this time more forcefully, "and interestin'...and funny...and y' strong and..."
"And?"
"And I trus' y'..." he finished.
Rogue wondered just how much he could trust her when there was things he still wouldn't admit to. Every time they were in the same room together she could practically feel a wall of secrets between them separating him from her entirely.
"Any of these books gon' be helpful f' school?" he asked, gesturing to what he'd left on the table, deciding to drop the subject before even giving her a chance to respond.
"Ah...uhm..." she dropped her eyes to the table and studied the books for a moment, a little distracted by his sudden question about them, "yeah...they're fine..."
"Good," he picked up the three of them and put them under his arm, "I'm gon' go read in my room f' a bit. It's a lil' dark in here..." he looked to the corner for a moment, Rogue felt there was something he was looking at...was it the mark on the wall? There was a slight scorch mark on the wall that Scott had left on there a long time ago accidentally with his powers; it had been buffed away but still showed a little.
Rogue watched him leave, feeling the departure was strangely sudden; had he done that deliberately to stop her from arguing with him about his idea? She stood there alone in the library trying to grasp the situation. The entire discussion had left her even more irritated than before. She didn't like that now he was making all the rules when it came to how their relationship was going to be. He'd accused her of complicating things but she couldn't help but feel he was the one complicating things right now.
She got up and went upstairs to his room, intent on giving him a piece of her mind on the subject. His room door was open, and he was sitting on the mattress on the floor, the books not even opened yet, he looked strangely annoyed as she felt although she couldn't imagine from what.
"How come you get to make all the decisions?" she asked suddenly.
"Pardon?" he lifted his eyes to her curiously.
Rogue stepped into the room and closed the door behind her, wedging it shut. "You...you picked the day we got hitched, and when, and where...you picked the hotel, the place we ate, the place we went after...every time we went out to eat, you picked it, and the villa...and everywhere we went...it was always your decision..."
He rolled his eyes at her, "sure it was."
"When we've been together even...even alone...it's always your decision when and where...you never let me be the one to decide..."
"I let you decide in the car, didn' I?" he pointed out.
"Sorry, am Ah supposed to be thankful that you were agreeable that we not screw around in a car after you initiated the whole thing?" she looked down at him, the way he stared up at her, his dark eyes, the way he looked almost intrigued with the subject.
"No, jus' pointin' out that y' made a decision and we went with it," he shrugged.
"Just once Ah want to say when and where and how things are done, Remy! Is it too much to ask? Ah've went along with everythin' everyone wants my entire life!"
"And I ain'?" he snapped. He got up and went to the window to look outside, he leaned there, sighing, "that's why we work t' gether so well. We both had our lives dictated f' us. That's why we get each other..." he trailed off, his expression changed, he was focused on staring at something.
Rogue watched him for a few moments, what was it out there that he was so focused on? She moved over to look over his shoulder; outside Logan was giving martial arts training to Amara, Rahne and Tabitha. Even with her extra weight, Tabitha looked rather fetching even in a loose fitting t-shirt and leggings. Rogue watched Remy, was it Tabitha that he was so interested in?
He likes her, Ah see it, she thought in despair. Probably thinkin' about the things he could do to her...the kind of things he probably couldn't do with me. Don't let her distract him...stop lettin' him be distracted by her!
She turned him towards her, "Ah want to be with you..." she announced, trying to sound as bold as she could.
He looked at her, his expression just a little blank.
"Right now..." she breathed, her own breath taken away by the sudden decision.
"Right now?" his expression slightly confused, she understood he didn't understand her bold advance, had to ask himself why.
"Right...now..." she said, trying to sound as sure as she possibly could about it. "In...here."
"But...what about the rules? What if we get caught?"
"Logan is outside...he'll be a while, he's not going to hear us..." Rogue said pointedly, "it's...an opportunity..."
His eyes softened a little, "and it's a firm decision?"
She gave a nod, her stomach fluttering a little at the thought of her own proposition, at the thought of the discomfort, and the awkwardness. He certainly hadn't enjoyed it like that, she'd been able to tell.
He lowered his head, and spoke softly to her, "y' sure about this?"
Rogue slowly nodded, thinking of how much it would make the difference to their relationship, how much it might distract him from Tabitha. He wasn't likely to go looking for sex elsewhere if he got what he needed from his wife. At least she hoped that were the case.
There was a brief moment of gazing into his almost hypnotic eyes and her telling herself that there was nothing bad about this decision and then it strangely became a hazy blur. She couldn't remember him undressing her, maybe it was because she was too focused on worrying what Tabitha might be thinking about the marriage Remy had told her was failing.
Sex was still awkward and uncomfortable; he took so much care with everything, sometimes so slow and deliberate when he undressed her or touched her (he'd stolen latex gloves from Hank's medical supply cabinet much to her surprise), that it frustrated her. She'd expected him to be a little less careful and a little more sure of himself but he was still so delicate and slow. It didn't hurt, but it certainly didn't feel pleasurable as she'd always been led to believe it was supposed to be. Being close to him, holding onto him, it was the only real enjoyment she took from it; the feel of his hot breath on her lips, the way the soft fabric of his t-shirt brushed against her bare belly.
By the time he had climaxed, she still hadn't. They lay there against each other afterwards, his clothed body pressed against her half-nude body, his arm wrapped lightly around her. She lay her head against his chest and listened to the rhythm of his heart coming down through his soft t-shirt
Sex itself hadn't made her feel much closer to him, nor secure about their relationship, but she found it strange how laying there with him afterwards did. That quiet moment, his breath tickling hair, his heartbeat slowing beneath her ear. There was a comfortable soothing silence about it, a familiarness about it that she was sure no one else would ever understand, that she was sure no one else would ever feel with him in quite the same way. How many women had he lay like this with before?
"Y' feel okay?" he murmured softly.
"A little...achy," she replied honestly; she was almost worried about admitting it to him.
"Achy how?" he queried.
"Just...achy," Rogue twisted neck and raised her head to look at him, he looked slightly worried, his face was flushed from the activity despite it hadn't been exceptionally vigorous, his hair was slightly sweaty. She couldn't explain why that made her ache in ways that the sex hadn't. She'd watched him almost the entire time, the concentrated expressions on his brow, the way his cheeks seemed to tremble when he was close to climax.
She wondered how long the act had taken, if Logan was still out there with the girls giving them their martial arts training. They'd be caught soon if they weren't careful. She found her anxiety rising in the thought that even if they weren't caught that Logan still may smell sex on her. She wanted to shower quickly before he had the chance.
Rogue grabbed her underwear and swiftly pulled them on, "Ah better get out of here before someone finds us...Logan will be finished training the girls soon..."
"That's it, then, y' give me a booty call and then y' dump me like yesterdays garbage, huh?" he teased, although she heard the disappointment in his tone that she was going to leave so soon after the act.
"Ah have to, we can't risk gettin' caught."
"I know...I know," Remy ran his fingers absently up her back, stroking the cotton of her dark purple shirt gently, "can I ask somethin'?"
"Sure..."
"If it sucked would y' tell me?"
"Hmm?"
"If I was lousy again?"
Rogue paused. No, he wasn't lousy, she hadn't sensed that. It was more his restraint that seemed to make it feel rather anti-climatic. Still, for the sake of avoiding disappointing him, she said softly, "it didn't suck."
"How come y' didn't come, then?"
"Remy...Ah don't want to talk about this," she sighed frustratedly. Why did he have to ask such irrelevant questions?
"I do," he responded, leaning up a little.
She pulled on her pants, falling silent, she didn't want to elaborate on the question he'd asked before.
"We shoul' be over this by now...not bein' able t' talk 'bout this..." he reminded her.
"Ah know that," she commented quietly, suddenly feeling embarrassed and shy.
"I guess wit' us it's gon' take time t' get better," Remy sighed, he lay back on the mattress. "It's...it's real different wit' you."
She paused, listening to him, to the strangely wistful sound of his voice.
"Gon' sound real strange but..." he drew an invisible pattern on the middle of her back, she felt the pressure of his fingers through her shirt. "Y' make me feel inadequate."
Rogue blinked and turned to stare at him, she felt blank with this confession. "What?" she asked with a slight gasp.
"Kind of girls I be with in the past...never real shy about sayin' what they want or how they want it. They reactive and vocal, y' know? Guess I always jus' gravitated t' the girls who weren' no stranger t' a man..." he supposed, he looked her in the eyes, his expression soft and serious, "but you..."
She stared at him worriedly, wondering what his comparison was going to be, how horrible it was going to make her feel.
"Suddenly...I get t' be wit' y' and...everythin' I ever knew 'bout sex...it has t' go out the window..." he reached up to her hair, twisting a lock thoughtfully through his fingers, "everythin' has t' be different and careful...thought out, y' know? And you...y' so still and y' confused and a lil' unsure...I see it in y' eyes...It's like...learnin' how t' be wit' a woman f' the first time all over again, almost..." he buried his hand in her hair and pulled her down towards him, looking her in the eyes, "y' make me feel a virgin," he said with a vague laugh, the words so quiet, almost as if this were a secret he were sharing.
"Sorry..." she said, not sure how to respond.
"It ain' a bad thing," he supposed, he rubbed her back gently, "I jus'...hope that it ain' gon' make y' think that somethin' is wrong or...that my heart ain' in what I do...'cause the truth is my heart is there more than y' would think it is..."
Rogue searched his eyes, finding herself wondering just how true these things could be. How excited would he be if he was with Tabitha? Would it be passionate and wild? Would his heart be in that?
"It's jus'..." he sighed a little, "makin' love is so differen' from havin' sex wit' a stranger..."
"Is...that what you think it is, then?" she asked, she ran her fingers absently across the edge of his collar absently. "Makin' love..."
"What would you call it?" he asked curiously.
Rogue thought about it, thought about to get him to care more about her than Tabitha. "Bein' married..." she supposed. "Just...actin' out a part of...married life Ah guess...bein' a wife..."
He smiled almost serenely; it was how right at that moment she knew she'd said the right thing. It had been a while since she'd seen that kind of blissful happiness on his face. "Y' better scoot 'fore Logan come t' find y'..."
"Yeah," she sighed, she pressed a kiss to the index finger of her right glove and touched it to his lips, "Ah'll catch you at dinner."
"Marie?" he asked, just as she'd gotten to the bedroom door.
"Hmm?"
"Y' f' got y' boots."
End of Part Fifteen
A quick start of the week update. Not too raunchy for some hopefully (tried to be tasteful). Chapter was probably a bit short but a few things happened anyway. Who hates Tabitha more now? Who laughed at the Channing Tatum reference? Sometimes it's fun just to put these little things in.
As always I appreciate all the awesome and thoughtful reviews. You're all so awesome and sweet to take the time with your comments (me voila had a lot of interesting points in todays review, it was a joy to read :) )
Anyway I'm off for some sweetcorn chowder for supper before bed. Hope you all have a great week. Love you all. :)