Author's Note: Me again. This is just a short little break before we jump back to Kristoff, Elsa and Anna. Don't worry, we'll find out what they've been up too soon enough! Meanwhile, enjoy!
Olaf hadn't heard the conversation over dinner or the conversation that followed it as he had been outside keeping an eye the Weasel Town ship, but that was now only partly due to his suspicions about them. At the moment he was keeping an eye on them because the Weasel Towners had long since invited him aboard and had been quizzing him about what he was and how he worked. He seemed to fascinate them.
"How do you hear things if you don't have any ears?" asked one of the sailors as he took a deep drink from some strange, brown colored liquid.
"Maybe he can't. Maybe he just reads lips," mused another sailor.
"I'm standing behind him, so does that mean he can't hear me?" asked a third sailor.
"I can hear you just fine," said Olaf to the assembled sailors, who all gasped and laughed.
"It's a miracle!" cried a different sailor in the crowd.
This got laughs from several other sailors, though those laughs died when a man dressed in black walked onto the deck. "Miracles only come from God Almighty. This is a thing of magic." He said magic like it was something dirty.
"Fuck you, yah paranoid bastard. If I say it's a miracle, then it's a God damn miracle, and hang what you say!" said the first sailor, to a general cheer. The man in black scowled and stormed back down into the depths of the ship.
"Who was that?" asked Olaf of the first sailor, unnerved by the man in black for reasons he couldn't quite put into words.
"He's a witch hunter the King stuck with us. He's been goin' on about how this whole kingdom is covered with dark sorcery of the foulest kind. Bloody idiot, if you ask me," said the sailor. He spit at where the witch hunter had been.
"If there's anyone covered in darkness, it's that fucker. Just look at his clothes," said a large sailor with a red frill of hair. The whole crew laughed at that.
"I'm not dark magic. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'd know if I was," said Olaf as he felt himself to see if he could tell where the various kinds of magic began and ended.
Just then, a large, booming voice filled the air. "Gentleman, let down the plank! I need to get some supplies from the ship!"
Olaf looked up to find that the Baron of Weasel Town had returned to his ship. "Did they finally kick you out?" he asked, and the Baron laughed.
"Hardly! I might have shaken them out of their ruts a bit, but I return only for a cask of our finest ale! That means you assholes can't drink it anymore, so step lively!"
The crew moaned, but it was more for show than any actual objection to what he said, as it was only a few moments later that an unopened cask appeared at the Baron's feet.
The Baron turned to leave, and then turned back around. "And another thing! Tell everyone that anyone who's qualified as a witch hunter is to go nowhere near her Majesty, Queen Elsa or her sister. In fact, no one is to call her a witch, no matter how drunk you are," he added after some deliberation. "If anyone objects, their stuffing is to be beaten out by those who don't." The crew cheered at that, as they all knew who he was talking about. The Baron lifted the cask onto his shoulder and turned to leave, then set it down again and turned around to stare at Olaf. "What are you?" he asked.
" 'S Olaf sir! He's the queen's royal snowman! Says he likes warm hugs," said the first sailor.
"Olaf, hmm? You seem surprisingly sober, considering whose company you share," said the Baron as he knelt down to get eye level with Olaf.
"Oh, I can't drink," said Olaf cheerfully.
"Can't, or don't?" asked the Baron. Olaf could tell that wheels were turning in the Baron's head but didn't know what those wheels might be or what they would mean for him.
"Not sure. Never had a drink before," said Olaf. The crew gasped.
"Never ever?" asked the second sailor.
"Never ever," confirmed Olaf.
"Well then, it's time we do some figuring out! Olaf the royal snowman, I challenge you to a drinking contest, with a tenner going to the last one standing!" cried the Baron. The crew cheered again.
"I can't see anything wrong with that, so I accept!" said Olaf as he shook hands with the Baron.
"Now before we begin, I think that you have a bit of catching up to do, seeing as how I have already drunk two bottles of wine on my own, so it's only fair that you drink two as well, just to be on a level playing field. Jenkins! Two bottles of fine wine for our friend here. I hope you're good at speed drinking, Olaf, as I want to get this started as soon as possible!"
A small, plain man vanished and reappeared a few moments later with two bottles of wine. "Two bottles of fine wine for Olaf, milord," said the man as he handed them down to Olaf.
They'd already been opened and that was fine by Olaf, as he'd seen a few sealed wine bottles and hadn't been sure how he was supposed to open them on his own. "Do I just drink them, or should I pour them into a cup?" he asked as he grasped a bottle in each hand.
"A mug for you, Olaf!" said the first sailor, who then handed him a bucket. "Should be large enough to hold both of them together!"
"If you say so," said Olaf with a shrug. Then he dumped both bottles into the bucket. People were still something of a mystery to him, so maybe this was how they drank lots of wine at once. He'd always wondered. Once both bottles were empty, he lifted up the bucket and drank it all down, as his large mouth was more than up to the task of catching all of it.
Lord Derek and the sailors watched with wonder as the little snowman changed from white to red then faded back to white.
"That tasted funny, but I think I liked it. What's next?" said Olaf with a cheerful grin, totally unaffected by the wine.
"Where did it go?" wondered the second sailor.
"It's another miracle!" cried the sailor from before.
"Silence!" boomed the Baron and the sailors feel quiet. "Things are not always as they seem. Olaf, how do you feel?"
"The same way I did before. Should I not?" asked Olaf.
"I don't know. I've never met a living snowman before you, so you might have a higher alcohol tolerance than most. No matter! Bring us a cask of ale, men. I intend to see this through to the bitter end!" The sailors cheered again and brought up what the Baron asked for, along with two cups.
Olaf got the feeling that it was going to be a long night.
"You just keep on drinkin.' It's like, you don't stop. You are truly a gifted being, Olaf," said the Baron as he staggered forward.
"It's not that hard, I can see how everyone does it so easily!" said Olaf with a very happy grin. The ale they'd been giving him was starting to make him feel a little odd, but overall he felt just as alert as he had before. Unlike the Baron, who was only just able to stand on both his feet.
"No no! You have been blessed by your wonderful, beautiful maker with a talent that many would die for. I concede this victory to you, Olaf," said the Baron, bowing as he did so. He feel forward onto his face, then sprang up again. "I'm alright! Now, what time is it? I need to go and take a cask of ale back up to the wonderful Elsa. I mean, Queen."
"It's been a little more than an hour, milord," said Jenkins, ever sober and alert.
"Damn! Lost track of the time. Olaf, gentlemen, I must be off! Give me a cask of ale!" The sailors scrambled to get the Baron a cask of ale and once it was securely tied to his back, 'So you won't drop it, sir,' the Baron stumbled down the plank they'd used to connect the ship to the dock and disappeared into the night, singing a loud song about a lady in red as he did so.
"Well, that was fun! Who wants to play a game?" said Olaf to the remaining sailors. They all let up a cheer and Olaf smiled. This was a good night.