Stillwater High

by madame.alexandra

In this very au story, Jenny is the girl Gibbs meets in high school - his first love, until some unexpected teenage mistakes change their lives, and the paths they take, forever. Jibbs, 1st part of a 4 part series.

3. Faster Than My Angels Can Fly

a/n: and now baby Natalie Winter is a reality! I can't even keep track of how many AU kids I have these days.

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Stillwater, Pennsylvania: 1985

Faster Than My Angels Can Fly

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There was something that seemed to be constantly interrupting his sleep – not just his sleep, but also his life in general – and somehow, he still wasn't really used to it. Meaning – he wasn't used to it as in it still took him a moment to realize what was going on when her crying woke him up, but he was used to it as in – he could sleep through it, and it didn't necessarily bother him, but maybe that was because he'd forgotten what quiet sounded like.

He lay on the couch, slowly dragged out of a rare deep sleep by the crying from the crib across the room, and he blinked at the ceiling hazily, biting back a yawn. It took him a moment to convince himself to get up – the sound really didn't grate on his nerves like it did Jenny's; not in the same way. It irritated her and made her desperate to make the baby feel better; it just made him feel like he needed to attend to her.

Gibbs finally sat up, resting his elbows on his knees heavily and blinking steadily a few times. He stared down at his bare feet, wondering vaguely what time it was – it felt like he'd only gotten back to sleep an hour ago. He rested his eyes closed a moment, considering blocking out the noise and seeing if she'd cry it out – but Jenny didn't like that, and besides, it would wake everyone else up.

He stood, and dragged his feet over to the crib. He peered in, avoiding the mobile as he leaned over the side and hung his hand down into it, tickling the crying baby's stomach with a few gentle fingers.

"Shhh," he mumbled gently.

Despite the late hour, and the general absurdity of being woken up by an infant – his infant – when he was seventeen, the moment her small blue eyes focused on him, even if they were full of demanding tears, he smiled.

He picked her up, and cradled her against his chest, supporting her easily and running his hand lightly up and down her back. He walked slowly back over to the couch – his makeshift bed, on the nights when Jenny was here, and he was on primary baby duty – and sat down.

"Shhh," he murmured again, turning his head. His forehead rested against her ear. "Whatcha want, Natalie?" he asked gruffly.

He glanced up at the ceiling – he'd thought he heard a noise. He looked for a clock, patting Natalie's back rhythmically and lazily trying to quiet her. He had fed her the last time she woke up – and Jenny kept saying that she needed to be on a feeding schedule, according to books she kept reading, but Gibbs' mother mildly just advised she be fed when she was hungry.

"But what about maintaining healthy weight and schedules and – " Jenny argued.

"Honey, if she's hungry, she'll eat; if not, she won't. Babies have one schedule, and that's chaos," Ann would always answer pleasantly – and then she'd usually whisk Jenny away, and force her to drink some chamomile tea while Gibbs was left to amuse Natalie.

Natalie quieted down a little, but she kept fussing. Gibbs just figured it was going to be one of those nights – not that he had much experience with them. Jenny stayed over about once or twice a week – or she had since her father's family medical leave ended. Usually, the nights weren't so bad – not as horribly bad as Gibbs had imagined, or had always heard – but then, Jenny seemed exhausted all the time.

She was prone to tears, she second-guessed herself all the time, she was angry at her father, she was angry at her situation – Gibbs didn't blame her; after all, she'd planned to be back in school at this point, but it was the first week of February, and she still hadn't returned – her schoolwork was slipping, and the one day she'd gone in to classes to talk to an advisor, she'd been so single-mindedly focused on Natalie that they'd called Gibbs out of class to just take her home and continue homebound schooling for a while.

He knew she hated it, and he didn't know how to help. He'd expected her to be able to easily emotionally stomach going back to school – Jenny was always good at school – but it turned out she'd been blindsided by how nervous it made her to leave the baby, and despite her conflicted need to continue her academics, she kept saying she wasn't ready.

That – and he knew part of it was facing everyone again. It would almost be just like when it had first gotten out she was pregnant – endless questions, whispers, people pretending to be nice, but really just feeding off gossip.

Gibbs swallowed hard, and shifted, holding Natalie in front of him – careful to cradle the back of her head. He raised his eyebrows, watching her scrunch up her face and whimper at him, angry to be removed from the warmth of his heartbeat.

"You're trouble," he said candidly.

Then, again, despite himself, he grinned.

She wasn't so bad.

He held her back against his shoulder, and then turned when he heard someone softly clearing her throat in the doorway.

He arched his eyebrows; Jenny stood there, clad in leggings and a long, checkered flannel shirt. She yawned, blinking, and squinted at him, her eyes darting from him, down to the baby.

"You always talk to her when I'm not around?" she asked quietly.

Gibbs shrugged gently. He didn't answer. Jenny came over, tucking her hair tightly behind her ears. She stood closer to him, looking down tiredly, and then she sighed.

"She's fussy tonight," she murmured.

Gibbs nodded, resting his palm on the baby's head. He tilted his head up.

"You didn't have to get up," he said.

She cleared her throat again.

"It didn't sound like you were going to get her," she said edgily. "I could hear her – " she trailed off, biting her lip. She seemed to think she sounded too snappy, and she sighed, shrugging.

It didn't matter; she didn't sleep very well, anyway. Even here, when she was supposed to make Gibbs do the work, let Gibbs have his side of the responsibility, she was so used to responding – and to her father refusing to assist unless it was an emergency – that she couldn't rest easy.

"I got her," Gibbs answered, his eyes on Natalie's head. "Wish she hadn't woken you," he said to Jenny, and then tilted his head, yanking a string off of Natalie's long-sleeved, Ann-made nightgown.

Jenny shrugged again. She collapsed on the couch next to him, resting for a moment, and then sat forward tensely, perching on the edge. She reached out her arms.

"I want to feed her, anyway," she murmured, wiggling her fingers insistently.

"I can get a bottle," he grunted, starting forward.

"Hmm-mm," she shook her head. "No, I want to do it." Jenny moved closer and pried Natalie away from him, leaning back heavily on the couch. "Can you get me a blanket from – "

He was already up, and grabbing what she needed from a basket by the crib. It was a plain white cloth, something they threw over their shoulders while feeding Natalie. He handed it to her, and Jenny started unbuttoning.

"Want tea or something?" Gibbs asked, edging out.

"You don't have to leave," Jenny muttered, her eyes on Natalie's face as she coaxed the baby around her chest.

Gibbs hesitated warily, and she looked up, annoyed.

"You've seen me naked, Jethro," she reminded him.

He started to say something along the lines of 'but this is different' – and she seemed to sense that. She flushed a little, and looked back down, cupping Natalie's head.

"Grow up," she said tersely. "I'm not the only one who has to."

He bristled a little, but didn't say anything. Instead, he silently returned to the couch, sat down next to her, and leaned back. After a moment, she tilted her head back with a relieved sigh, and wrapped both hands around the baby, holding her firmly against her chest.

Gibbs glanced over – he knew Jenny was breastfeeding, he just never really hung around for it – and at night, he used formula, or bottles she'd prepared while he was working or at school. He meant only to look, but he kept staring, a little mesmerized.

Jenny, her eyes fluttering sleepily, smirked a little.

"Jealous?" she asked wryly.

Gibbs glared at her, and made a face. He tore his gaze away, and then decided he'd stare at Jenny instead. He folded his arms across his chest, and nodded his head in Natalie's direction.

"Is it weird?" he grunted.

Jenny licked her lips, and shook her head slowly.

"I thought it would be, but I like it," she admitted under her breath. She let her eyes rest closed. "It's calming," she said, and then paused for a long moment. "It keeps things in perspective."

Her voice was reflective, and he nodded, thinking to himself. The one thing that couldn't be denied was that no matter how frustrated, angry, tired, or stir-crazy Jenny was these days, she never noticeably took it out on the baby. She and Gibbs both loved Natalie, even if they were still reeling from everything that came with her.

"It starts to get sore, if I don't feed her," Jenny told him quietly.

Gibbs furrowed his brow, but didn't say anything. He shifted, facing towards her a little more, staring at her pale face. They hadn't turned any lights on, but at this point his eyes were well adjusted to the dark. He squinted – he couldn't really tell, and maybe it was just a hunch triggered by the vague scratchiness in her voice, but her eyes seemed red.

"You been crying?" he asked.

"I'm just tired," she muttered evasively.

"Jen?"

She sighed frostily.

"I've always been crying," she relented, "these days."

"What's wrong?"

She didn't answer right away; she couldn't put it into words. Everything was wrong, and she felt so unimaginably guilty for feeling that way. She couldn't stop thinking about how much she'd screwed up in getting pregnant, she was constantly stressed about things out of her control – school, Natalie getting sick, her father's approval, Gibbs having to work, her future with Gibbs, Natalie growing up, being a good mother – it was all so much, and she wanted it all to just go away –

-there of course, was where the guilt came in; because if all of this went away, she wouldn't have Natalie, and she loved Natalie – she really did; she didn't resent her, or want to pawn her away, or wish she'd never been born; she loved her daughter – but she wanted to catapult herself into a time when she was ready for this.

And she couldn't explain any of that to Gibbs, because he seemed fine; he just took everything in stride, with a sort of unreadable face, or a smile for Natalie. He just accepted, instead of re-thinking and second-guessing, and he seemed to feel some assurance that everything would be okay, and she didn't have that strength that he had – not yet.

She didn't know how to ask him where he got it.

"I think I need to go back to school," she said in a small voice, her voice quavering.

Gibbs nodded – she needed to, if she didn't want to end up staying an extra year or something. It might already be too late for her to recover this year, but maybe if she cleared some stuff up during summer, it would work out better for her.

"No one's stopping you," Gibbs said earnestly, trying to be helpful. He cracked a dull smile. "Hell, Jen, I'd drop out, to let you go."

She laughed hoarsely.

"No, God, no!" she snickered. "We can't be teen parents and dropouts! We'll have to live in a trailer."

He smiled, and shrugged a little. If it was a trailer away from everyone – his father, her father, prying eyes, nosy people – he might be okay with that; just Jenny and Natalie.

Jenny sighed, moving her hands around to get more comfortable, and supporting Natalie lazily.

"It's just," she started, trailing off.

"Hmm?" Gibbs grunted.

"Two weeks ago, when I was supposed to get back into school I … I just had this panic attack, thinking about leaving her with some … I don't know, stranger – well, no one is strange in this town – but finding someone, and all day worrying," Jenny broke off anxiously. "And I don't want you to have to pay for child care, because you already work your ass off and you never have time for friends – "

"You're my friend," he interrupted gruffly.

She rolled her head over and stared at him, smiling a little sadly. He gave her a funny sort of look though, and cleared his throat.

"Jen, you know my mom can watch her while we're at school," he said, furrowing his brow. "She'd love it."

Jenny licked her lips warily.

"Dad forbid me to ask her – he said explicitly that part of being a mother is understanding the expenses of child care, and that I can't just expect that people will do it for me – "

"Goddamnit," swore Gibbs, interrupting tersely. "Jenny – grandparents watch grandkids, it's what they do," he groused angrily. "Hell, I grew up on my granddad's farm – "

"Under normal circumstances – "

"Yeah, yeah," Gibbs snarled, "I get it – your old man thinks that 'cause we're kids, that means we gotta do it on our own – "

"He's got a point, Jethro, we got ourselves into this – "

"I know," Gibbs interrupted harshly, "but he's puttin' all this pressure on you, and it ain't fair – even adults," Gibbs stressed the word sarcastically, "don't take care of kids without any help – they can't afford to pay people to watch their kids, either."

He swallowed, getting himself worked up. He felt like – Jenny's father was constantly trying to make her life as difficult as possible, and it made him feel helpless. Helpless because his own mother was quietly helpful – and Jackson had essentially gotten over it and adored Natalie, as long as Gibbs kept his word to work and take care of Jenny – and helpless because he felt like no matter what he did, he had it easier than Jenny.

"I want to prove to him that I can do this!" Jenny said, her voice cracking.

She swallowed hard, and sat forward, adjusting both her shirt and Natalie for a moment, and then leaning back, snuggling the baby against her shoulder.

"You know, she never cries when he holds her," Jenny hissed. "And he – I've seen my dad look at her, I know he loves her – but he won't help, at all, he won't even – and it's not like I'm useless or irresponsible, I know I don't have my own life anymore," she went on, frustrated. "I can't ask your Mom, because then he'll have a reason to call me selfish and spoiled and – "

"You're gonna let my mom watch Nat," Gibbs interrupted sharply. "He can't have it both ways, Jen – he can't do all this shit to make you as miserable as possible – "

"He's not making me miserable; he's trying to keep my head on – "

"Why are you defending him?" Gibbs snapped. "You were just complainin' – "

"I don't like it when you attack him!" she burst out in a loud hiss. "He's my Dad, Jethro – how would you like it if I jumped on your back because your Mom coddles you and doesn't make you take care of Natalie every second – "

"I'm not jumpin' on you, I'm jumpin' on him – what the hell are you talkin' about, Jen, I take care of Nat when she's here – "

"You sleep through her crying!" Jenny hissed. "Your mom helps you all the damn time – "

"I'm tryin' to get her to help you!" Gibbs growled, exasperated. "She's my kid, too, Jenny – if I want my mom to watch her, she can, and you can go back to school."

Jenny turned away, flushed. Her eyes stung – the problem was; she knew Jethro was right – he'd voiced everything she was feeling, about how her father was reacting. In the back of her mind, she knew Jasper Shepard was struggling to maintain order, to do what he saw was fit: he was a soldier, and he wanted his daughter to understand the total reality of motherhood – but he was going about it to the extreme, refusing to help her at all, trying to force all sorts of hardships that weren't necessary just to teach her a lesson – and it wasn't fair, because she was a good mother; she loved Natalie –

And since Natalie had been born, she wasn't so concerned with how the baby was going to ruin her life, she was concerned with how she was going to support Natalie, and keep Natalie happy – and be happy herself.

She wasn't some air-headed girl who thought she could still live a carefree teenage life, but she didn't want to totally miss out, either – and her father could see no middle ground.

Natalie started to fuss quietly, and Gibbs reached over and took her swiftly, holding her up and shushing her gruffly. He nestled her in the crook of his arm and looked down; she quieted easily, and her eyes drifted closed – she was content, sleepy again, and Jenny watched her a moment, before slumping back against the couch in relief.

She licked her lips, taking a few deep breaths.

She wanted to go to school, and she wanted to go to college, and she wanted to leave Stillwater and never come back – and that conflicted with her new, fierce desire to protect Natalie, to give Natalie everything.

"We're never alone anymore," Jenny said, her voice shaking. She turned her head. "You and me."

Gibbs looked over at her intently – she was right. They never were. Neither of them dared, at this point - with Natalie almost three months old – to appear to shirk their duties; neither dared ask for a night off.

Gibbs smiled a little. He set his shoulders back a little.

"I got an idea, about that," he said huskily.

She arched an eyebrow, and yawned. She waited patiently.

"You want to go to Prom with me?" he asked.

She looked startled, taken aback – Prom. Prom was in a few months – his senior Prom, her junior – the first she was allowed to go to, per her father's rules – and she'd planned on going with Gibbs since even before she got pregnant. Her lashes fluttered, and she smiled a little, biting her lip – she'd forgotten things like Prom existed.

Jenny nodded, shifting and moving closer, curling up against him while he held the baby. She rested her chin on his bicep, and reached in to clutch Natalie's foot gently, lazily tickling her tiny toes.

Gibbs watched her, and then he nudged her a little with his elbow, giving her a pointed look.

"It'll get better, Jen," he promised bravely.

She licked her lips, and closed her eyes, resting against him – he was so unshakeable, and she chose to put her faith in his inexplicably confident words.

---

Gibbs sat in the bed of his truck with the tailgate down, waiting in a mostly empty parking lot. He kept his head bowed, his back to the robust sun, serving as a pillar of shade for his daughter. He kept his hand flat, looking from the small bit of zinc cream in it to Natalie's round little face.

She kept blinking at him, raising her arms and reaching for him, smiling, grabbing her toes – she was sitting up now, even trying to move around on her hands and knees, occasionally. He thought it was fascinating. She seemed to be doing something different every time he blinked.

"It's warm now," he said gruffly.

He'd put a little sunscreen on her face while he waited for Jenny, and she'd cried because it was cold – at least, he'd figured out that was why after about ten minutes of tears. He'd been instructed to put some zinc on her nose, and he was pointedly letting it warm up in the sun.

Gibbs leaned forward and swept some of the zinc onto Natalie's nose. She scrunched her face and lunged backwards. He shot forward and caught her, pulling her towards him. The blanket wrinkled, so he picked her up and placed her in his lap. He accidentally got some zinc on her cheek, shrugged, and wiped the rest on his faded jeans.

"That'll do," he said smugly.

She reached up and grasped at his mouth.

"Da-da-da-da-da," she sang. She ended with a high-pitched shriek – it was her new favorite thing to do: shriek like she was being boiled alive. It was a happy noise, and Gibbs' favorite thing about it was that every time she did it in the General Store, it scared the daylights out of Jackson Gibbs.

Gibbs grinned at her, and nodded.

"Da-da," he repeated quietly. He pointed to his chest. "Me," he said smugly.

Jenny was getting increasingly annoyed that she said 'Da-da' more than she said 'Ma-Ma' – but Ann Gibbs told them both it wasn't really that she was talking – they were just easy sounds for babies to make and repeat.

Natalie beamed at him, and he picked her up, holding her up and tilting his head up to gaze at her. He hardly ever got to just – sort of relax with her. It wasn't necessarily relaxing to sit in the back of his truck in his high school parking lot while his girlfriend pleaded the case of her academic career, but he wasn't at work – and he wasn't at home being apprehensively watched by both of his more experienced parents – and he liked being alone.

He spent a lot of time lately bitterly wishing it was just him, Natalie, and Jenny somewhere – but that was out of the question in so many ways: monetarily, morally – morally in that Jasper Shepard absolutely refused to concede that final point, and even Gibbs parents were adamant that them living together was a preposterous idea.

"Won't be forever, Nat," he muttered, thinking out loud. "We get out own place, I build you a playhouse," he promised.

"That is so adorable!"

He turned his head sharply, his attention drawn away from his baby – a couple of girls were standing near his truck; one, he was familiar with: Alison Flynn, Jenny's best friend. She chewed on a nail and shot Gibbs a vaguely apologetic look; next to her stood head cheerleader Betsy Carmichael, and flanking Betsy was her ever-present shadow, Maggie Hart.

Gibbs lowered Natalie and gave them guarded looks – they must have just left cheerleading practice.

Betsy leaned on his truck, her eyes greedily on Natalie.

"Where's Jenny?" she asked.

"She'll be out here in a jiff, when she senses you near Bug," Alison muttered under her breath – she'd nicknamed Natalie bug since before she was born.

Betsy tossed her hair and ignored the comment, tilting her head.

"She hardly ever brings Natalie around," Betsy sighed. "Everyone wants to see her."

Maggie nodded quickly.

"She's so cute," she said rapidly. "I see your Mama with her down at my Daddy's vegetable stand. With her little bows – "

"Jen does her bows," Gibbs interrupted coolly.

He wasn't sure he trusted Maggie or Betsy – Betsy had been pretty nasty about Jenny in the past year. The girl in question tilted her head though, and pursed her lips, leaning forward.

"It's so precious, you taking care of her," she sighed. "So many guys would have just bolted, you know? I saw you with her stroller the other day, buying children's books – "

Maggie giggled, and Betsy bat her lashes.

"Can I hold her?"

Gibbs glanced at Alison over their heads. The dark-haired girl shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"Hey, if she can catch me in a basket, you can trust her at least not to drop Bug," Alison snorted.

Betsy shot her a glare, and Gibbs shifted. Against his better judgment – his judgment being that Jenny would be pissed – he moved to the edge of the truck and passed Natalie to Betsy – still a little baffled that he was getting so much attention – or rather, Natalie was.

It seemed to happen a lot, when he had the baby – when Jenny wasn't around that is.

Betsy took her and hugged her tight, fawning over her in a stereotypical small town girl way. Everybody loved babies in small town America – and that was a saving grace; it was easy to judge an unwed mother in a little Christian enclave, but most people had stopped whispering behind Jenny's back and started turning pitying but curious eyes on her baby.

"Is it hard?" Maggie asked, fluttering her own lashes. "You're so young – do you ever get to have fun?"

Gibbs gave her a funny look.

"What the hell are you two trying to do?" Alison laughed suddenly, her usual blunt self. "It's not like he's single."

"Well," Betsy sighed. "I kind of thought – well it seems," she broke off, chewing her lip.

"What?" Gibbs grunted, narrowing his eyes.

Natalie stared at Betsy; Betsy smiled. Natalie looked over her shoulder and then strained towards Alison, making grabbing motions with her hands. Alison stepped forward and let the baby grab her fingers.

Betsy shared a meaningful look with Maggie.

"I thought you were with her, you know, just because she had a baby," she said in a hushed voice. "I mean, you and Jenny Shepard used to be just – oh, gawd, talk of the town, inseparable, and you're never together anymore."

Gibbs stared at her, his mouth tight – it bothered him to hear her say that, because it was true; he and Jenny were never alone anymore. But it bothered him more that she thought he only cared about Jenny because he had to, like this was some chore or hassle for him.

He narrowed his eyes.

"We're together all the time," he said stiffly.

Alison looked up through her lashes, smiling at him a little. She glanced over her shoulder and then straightened up, but Gibbs didn't notice her grimace slightly and try to catch his attention.

"Of course," Maggie said quickly. "You – well, you're so – it's so charming, you helping her with the baby – "

Gibbs blinked.

"Yeah, it's my baby," he said blankly – what else would he be doing, living it up while Jenny struggled?

"Men who are good with babies are so rare, my Daddy doesn't pay me attention," Betsy finished, talking over what he'd said.

"What are you doing?"

Before Gibbs could even answer their simpering, Jenny dropped a backpack on the asphalt, and was folding her arms icily. She glanced at Gibbs, and then glared at Betsy.

Natalie swiveled, and lunged, reaching out her hands.

"Oh, there's your Mommy!" Betsy squealed.

Jenny ignored her and took Natalie, rather roughly, from the cheerleader's hands. She touched the spot of zinc on the baby's cheek and wiped it off, brushing it on her t-shirt.

"Just her nose, Jethro," she said, rolling her eyes. She hitched the baby up on her hip and then gave the girls a narrow look. She arched her brow. "What, Betsy?" she asked sharply. "I'm a disgrace because I have a baby, but Jethro is suddenly Cheerleader-worthy boyfriend material?"

Betsy straightened up. Maggie flushed a little and tucked her hair back, stepping away. Betsy didn't say anything about Jenny's dig – it was well known that way back in the playground days, Leroy Jethro Gibbs had had a crush on Betsy Carmichael, and even in grade school she'd been too good for the shopkeeper's boy.

Betsy tossed her hair.

"Actually, Jenny," she said, with an air of practiced formality. "I've been meaning to tell you something."

Jenny held Natalie closer, almost as if she needed her for comfort, and set her shoulders back.

"Yeah?" she asked, bristling warily.

Betsy nodded.

"My Mama heard what I was sayin' about you," Betsy forced out finally. "Callin' you names and such. She reckons it wasn't very Christian of me." Betsy flashed a winning smile. "I've meant to apologize," she said with an air of feigned grace. "And Mama says any time you need, I should babysit for you, 'cause its respectable you're still in school."

Jenny didn't say anything.

Betsy turned to Gibbs and gave him a little wave. She bent to Natalie's eye-level.

"Bye sweetheart," she cooed. She gave a sort of signal to Maggie Hart, and started off. "You let me know if you want me to," Betsy said musically. She winked. "Maybe you and Jethro can go have some alooone-time."

Maggie started off, giggling a little.

"Not too much," she muttered loudly.

Alison stood there with Gibbs and Jenny for a moment, and then gave a protracted roll of her eyes, and hoisted her cheerleading bag over her shoulder more securely.

"You know I'm not one of them, Jenny," she sighed dramatically. "I don't think Gibbs is sexier because he has a baby."

Jenny gave her a wry little smile, and shrugged, turning her attention to Natalie. She brushed the baby's fine hair back, and leaned forward to kiss her gently on the forehead.

"Go on, Alison," Jenny murmured. "I need you behind enemy lines."

Alison gave a lazy salute and skipped off, leaving them alone. Jenny fussed over Natalie for a moment, and in the silence, Gibbs stared at her, managing to unclench his jaw.

"Sexier?" he grunted. "What's she talkin' about."

"That's the consensus," Jenny said coolly, without looking up – she was focusing on trying to make a cow-licked part of Natalie's hair lie flat. "Among the birds of Stillwater High – you're just to die for now that you're a Daddy, and I'm still a damnable tramp."

Gibbs snorted, and furrowed his brow.

"That's stupid, Jen," he scoffed.

She stepped forward and sat Natalie on the edge of the tailgate, holding her securely and bending down so she was eye-level with her daughter. She met the baby's soft blue eyes, and tilted her head, giving her a matter-of-fact look.

"That's how the world works for girls," she said, more to Natalie than to Gibbs – it was sound advice, and Jenny herself was realizing more and more, every day, how unfair the world could be to her, just because she was a girl.

No one seemed to think Gibbs was ruined, easy, irresponsible – a honey trap. Girls like Betsy thought the was heroic, for doing exactly what a man should do for his child, and older women seemed to think it was an admirable sacrifice that he worked so much while Jenny 'didn't' – or so they assumed. No – no one seemed to think Gibbs was ruined, but everyone quietly whispered that Jenny was.

Gibbs shifted, drawing his leg up and resting his arm on it. He moved forward a little, so he was behind Natalie in case she wanted to lunge backwards – another new favorite past time – and he considered Jenny's bent head.

"How'd it go?" he asked finally.

His voice was low, wary; she liked the cautious, throaty tone of it. She loved Gibbs' voice – somehow, it always seemed soothing to her – at least, when he wasn't angry.

She closed her eyes heavily, silent for a while. She shook her head, opened her eyes, and looked at Natalie intently for a moment.

"Not well," she admitted finally, her voice soft.

She straightened a little, her hands on either side of Natalie, standing so close to the truck bed that if Natalie wriggled forward, she'd fall right against her mother's stomach safely. Jenny met Gibbs' eyes, and her shoulders fell a little.

She'd been here at a progress meeting – trying to work out her schedule, argue about her grades, her credits, her AP classes – being allowed to move on to the senior year, even.

She'd come alone, without her father, because he told her it was her responsibility, and she'd come with a lot of false confidence, because the truth was, she was struggling so hard, and half of her had wanted to give up, as she sat there and argued her case with the principal and the guidance counselor.

Natalie leaned forward and smushed her face against Jenny's chest, smearing zinc on her shirt. It didn't faze Jenny; she just tilted the child's head up and bent to kiss her on the head. She rested her cheek lightly on Natalie's crown, bent at an odd angle.

"What's wrong, Jen?"

She shook her head a little.

"They're making me drop my AP classes," she murmured quietly.

Gibbs bristled, glaring at her.

"What the hell?" he burst out. His cheeks flamed. "But you've been – "

"I know."

"I 'been workin' my ass off so you can spend all your free time – "

"I know, Jethro!"

She looked at him miserably, and he shook his head, quieting a little.

"'M not yellin' at you, Jen, s'not your fault – I ought to go tell that bitch I never see my own daughter 'cause I been tryin' to make sure you can keep your grades up – "

Jenny just shook her head a little. She straightened up again, and she picked Natalie up, cuddling her tightly against her shoulder.

"It doesn't matter," she muttered. She licked her lips anxiously. "My grades fell hard, Jethro," she confessed quietly.

He furrowed his brow – he knew that; her father nagged her about it, Gibbs' mother worried about it - but it wasn't that Jenny was stupid, or careless, or not trying – she was just busy. She was tired and stressed and even back at school full time, she had to miss days unexpectedly.

"I – it's because I was homebound for so long," she choked out. "And since then – well, they're cutting me slack, but I've missed so many days I'm technically truant – and APs have an attendance policy –"

"But you've got an excuse, Jen!"

She shrugged, giving him a desperate look.

"Well, yeah, but it's not fair to everyone else!" she retorted, resting her hand on Natalie's head. "I know I'm not – off at an amusement park, but they're all held to the attendance standard, and they obviously can't give me special treatment because I had a baby!"

She laughed sarcastically.

"God forbid it look like they're rewarding the girl who had a baby!"

"But it's not a goddamn reward – you're tryin' to take care of her, how're we s'pose to do that without a high school diploma – "

"We're in Stillwater, Jethro," she interrupted bitterly. "You think that logic is there? Keep dreaming."

He fell silent. She sighed, and stroked the baby's hair. She swallowed a few times, and then took a deep breath.

"They wouldn't cut you any slack?"

She compressed her lips. When she finally spoke, her voice was shaking uncontrollably.

"I'm failing Algebra and Physics," she admitted hoarsely. "I – it's not that I don't get the material, but I've been spending all my time on the AP coursework and I'm keeping solid C's in those."

She swallowed hard.

"I wanted – to convince them to let me stay in the APs, but base my grade on passing the exams – you know, getting a four or a five – I even tried to negotiate a four equaling a C, and a five equaling a B, but – "

She trailed off, shaking her head. Natalie wriggled, and touched Jenny's lips, patting her face. She stared at her mother, and Jenny tried not to look at her for the moment, focusing on Gibbs instead.

"They wouldn't go for it. Unfair," she quoted.

Gibbs sat forward.

"But why're they makin' you drop?" he asked tensely. "What's wrong with C's?"

"Everything is wrong with C's, Jethro!" she burst out. "And more than that, I have F's in two other classes – I know you're used to that, but I'm not!"

He gave her a stony look.

"I'm sorry, "she moaned. "It's just – I have to drop down to standard English, because I can pull those grades up to A's easily and have time work on the math and science – because there's no equivalent for those, if I don't pass them, I have to repeat junior year."

She licked her lips, shaking her head rapidly.

"I already had a baby – I can't be held back, too. I can't. I'll look like even more of a failure – "

"You're not a failure, Jen – "

"I feel like one!" she shouted. "I was supposed to be – valedictorian and – go to Georgetown or something, that's what my Dad worked for! Instead, I had a baby, and I can barely make it through high school," she lashed out.

He jumped out of the truck, prowling up close to her. He leaned on the bed, placing his hand on her hip and pulling her towards him a little, his eyes on hers intently.

"S'not just you, Jen."

"Jethro, I know this is hard for both of us but you – you're – you'd be okay in Stillwater, you – "

"I hate it here," he said bluntly.

"You hate it because you don't like Jackson," Jenny corrected. "And that – Chuck makes your life hell, 'cause it's easy to make you fight - you're like, Marty McFly, with the fighting," she laughed hoarsely. "I mean – you'd be okay, with a little family, in a little town. You're – simple."

He arched a brow at her in amusement – he understood what she meant, but giving her a hard time was a habit of his. She bit her lip and gave him a pointed look, and then lowered her voice, reaching up to wipe at her eyes.

"I never thought my life would be holding my baby, and screaming at my boyfriend in a high school parking lot."

Gibbs still considered her, and then he turned his lip up a little, and he smiled.

"Jenny," he started, a little exasperated. "Life isn't over," he said.

"It feels – "

"I know," he interrupted heavily. "But we're just kids," he grunted – his old man had growled that at him enough for him to remember it. "We can't do anything yet. It's gonna take a few years."

"A few years for what?" she asked, exasperated.

She bounced Natalie, who was starting to get fussy – she sensed neither of her parents was particularly focused on her, despite how tightly her mother was holding her.

"Are we going to be struggling to make ends meet in some trailer?" Jenny asked, tears filling her eyes. "Have another kid because we don't know what to do? Be just like our parents? What, Jethro? What do you think about?"

He grit his teeth, frustrated with her suddenly.

"I think about Nat," he snapped, pushed to the edge with her pessimism. "I think about gettin' out of high school," he added. "I graduate in two months, Jenny – "

"And then you're home free!" she cried.

"Where the hell do you think I'm goin'?" he shouted. "I'm stayin' right here, workin' more, and I'll be able to just work, and watch Natalie – and we'll get there, and then we'll get you outta high school, and then we'll figure out – "

"But why can't you plan? Don't you understand, I panic – "

"I get it, Jen, and I know you – I know how you are!" he interrupted. "You haven't realized it ain't always about planning!"

He gestured at Natalie.

"You got to be able to adjust to what happens!"

She swallowed, her eyes on him – he was right; he was so right. That was how Jethro was though – he was highly adaptable, but quiet about it; he didn't like change, necessarily, but he never raged against things beyond his control – he just met them head on. They were different people, and she'd always known that, and she loved him for it – but it scared her, his day-by-day.

She wanted to plan; she wanted to know when she'd be out of her father's house – when something would magically change, so she could run away with him.

He rubbed his jaw, and moved in close again.

"Look, Jenny," he started, his voice hoarse. "I'm trying."

She met his eyes, and she suddenly felt horrible; he looked desperate, like he thought he was failing her – and that wasn't it. She didn't know how to explain how she felt – she loved Natalie, she loved Jethro, she truly felt he was doing everything he should and could for her, and for his daughter – and god, did he love Natalie. She'd never thought a teenage boy would be so starry-eyed over a baby, but he was – and yet she still couldn't seem to understand what she wanted, why she was so frustrated so often.

Maybe it was because she really did want out, she was still trying to change this – but then, it wasn't that; because she wouldn't trade Natalie for the world, she knew that somewhere deep inside her soul – but she wanted things to be different, and she was afraid, maybe, of making the wrong choice; of being one of those unhappy women.

She imagined the only possible road for them, and the word housewife seemed to dangle over her like a noose. And – what worried her was that Gibbs didn't necessarily see that as the doomed future she did.

Maybe it scared her that his idea of getting out was two cities over and a bigger house, when hers was places like Paris and Tel Aviv and Master's degrees – and –

"Da-da," Natalie started, letting out a wail.

Her face crumpled, and she started whimpering.

"Da-da-ma-ma-ma," confused, she started to babble, tears slipping out of her blue eyes.

"Oh," cooed Jenny, her attention on the baby – her instincts kicked in; suddenly the teenaged angst and selfishness was gone, and she was focused on being a mother – on her daughter. "What's wrong, baby?" she asked softly.

"Tired," Gibbs grunted, placing his hand gently on her head. He bent to kiss her. "C'mon, Jen – I'll take you to the diner for dinner."

"I don't know," she murmured. "Natalie's too young for restaurants."

He shrugged.

"Once won't hurt her," he said. He gave Jenny a defiant look, reaching for his keys. "It's about damn time we stop hidin' around this town, Jen."

She considered him for a minute, and then she smiled. She bounced the fussing baby, and turned to her.

"What do you think, Natalie?" she asked soothingly. "Can Daddy treat us to dinner?"

Natalie swiveled and reached for Gibbs, and he grinned, taking her easily. He walked around the truck, expertly situating her in the baby seat, and Jenny turned to lock up the tailgate, chewing hard on the inside of her cheek as she did so – sometimes, the single thing that gave her peace was seeing how much Jethro loved Natalie.

---

The aggression with which Gibbs was slapping price tags onto inventory items was annoying the hell out of his father, but Gibbs ignored every gruff look and curt order for him to take it easy.

"Slammin' things around ain't gonna change nothin', Leroy," Jackson Gibbs growled, giving the boxes of pasta Gibbs had just dented with his force a narrow look.

Gibbs didn't say anything. He slammed something else down.

"You listenin' to me, son?"

Gibbs slammed something pointedly, and turned to glare at his father, his shoulders stiff.

"It's sure as hell makin' me feel better."

"Well, that sure is mature of you," Jackson retorted sarcastically.

He placed another box of things down on a table, and put a hand on his hip, giving his son a stern look.

"I didn't even think you wanted to go to the Prom," Jackson snorted.

Gibbs blinked at him stonily, and then turned away. His rough hands reached for more pasta boxes to take his anger out on. He kept his back to his father, tightening his jaw to hold in his fury – why did Jackson always have to goad him; always have to act like he wasn't being noble, or gentlemanly, or – whatever the hell Jackson wanted him to be.

Jackson cleared his throat, and Gibbs envisioned him shaking his head in annoyance, starting to unload the box so Gibbs could start pricing those items, too – the cans of baked beans were next, after the pasta and the bread loaves.

Finally, just to fill the silence, Gibbs said:

"Jen wants to go to the Prom."

"She ain't your Commander-in-Chief, son," Jackson snorted. "You can just tell 'er no."

Gibbs grit his teeth, and then he looked up, finally, and caught his father's eye.

"No, you'd just tell 'er no," he said curtly, his eyes flashing nastily. "You'd tell 'er you don't want to go, or that you don't give a damn about the ballet," he snapped.

His father gave him a cold look.

"The ballet?" he repeated. "This about your mother again?" he asked.

Gibbs didn't answer; he looked down – at least his father had gotten the point. For Gibbs, it didn't matter that he hated stuffy events and being around massive amounts of people – Jenny wanted to go, and he liked to make Jenny happy; it wouldn't kill him. For Jackson – he was the man in the relationship, he worked, so it didn't matter how much his wife wanted to drive to Philadelphia to see the ballet, he was tired, and Ann could content herself with what he gave her.

Gibbs didn't want to be like that.

"Leroy, me and your mother are none of your business," Jackson snapped.

Gibbs shrugged.

"Me and Jen aren't yours," he bit back obnoxiously.

Jackson raised his hand and pointed sharply.

"You're in this house, you're under eighteen, you damn well are my business," he barked. "You think just 'cause you and that girl had a baby, you don't have to answer to me – you think she don't have to answer to her father – "

Gibbs slammed his hand down on the table.

"All she does is answer to him!" he interrupted. "I answer to 'im, I answer to you – hell, when Natalie's old enough, I'll bet she doesn't even realize me 'n' Jen are her parents!"

"It's up to you to be the authority there," Jackson said sharply. "You make sure she knows."

"How's she supposed to know, Dad?" Gibbs growled. "Chief Shepard doesn't lift a finger for Jen unless he's tellin' her how to live her life, or if he thinks she's doin' something' wrong – "

"That man is doin' what he thinks is best, Leroy, and you ain't got no business interferin' with that. He has a right to set rules and make her follow 'em, and I can't say I blame him – the girl goes and gets pregnant, she's got to know she can't run around wild anymore – "

"She didn't get herself pregnant!" Gibbs retorted. He pointed to himself. "I was there – why does everyone in this goddamn town think Jen's the only one responsible?"

Jackson arched a brow.

"She could've told you no, son; ain't nothin' that says a girl's got to put up with boys bein' boys – "

"She didn't want to say no!" Gibbs shouted. "She wanted to do it, and she's takin' responsibility for that – I've taken responsibility for that – "

"You're both just kids," Jackson said flatly.

"How're we s'pose to prove we're doin' a good job, and doin' right by our kid, if we're under house arrest, and Jen can't even leave to have a second alone with me?"

"'Cause look what happened the last time we let the two of you have some goddamned alone time all over the city!" Jackson snapped.

"You don't think we learned our lesson?" Gibbs snorted.

"It sure as hell isn't funny, Leroy," Jackson said dangerously. "You want to end up livin' in a trailer with three kids and no educations by the time you two are twenty, you go right ahead."

"She just wants to go to Prom, Dad!" Gibbs retorted angrily. "She wants a night out – you tellin' me you and Mom never had one night away from - you tellin' me adults," he spat the word sarcastically, "never hire babysitters, or forget about their kids for a night – "

"Your mother isn't that selfish," Jackson said coldly.

Gibbs closed his mouth tightly – it was an insult to Jenny, and a testament to just how clueless Jackson was about his wife. Ann Gibbs wasn't selfish – she was a tried-and-true small town, military wife who'd been raised to keep a family and a house, and she was content with that; she loved her son, she loved Stillwater – but Jackson was kidding himself if he thought she'd never wanted to try something different, like a trip to the beach, or a week in New York.

Jackson was exactly the kind of man who'd see any request from her on those topics to be frivolous, or entitled – Gibbs didn't know how he'd come to think different from Jackson, or half the people in this stupid small town, but he had – half of it was meeting Jen, and learning about how her mother and her father just didn't end up getting along, but a lot of it was just intuition: Gibbs understood people beyond the surface.

Gibbs turned his back on his father, and Jackson rounded on him.

"You can stand there and think I do your mother wrong all you want, Leroy," he said dangerously, "but you do your fair share of takin' advantage of her – she watches Natalie while you work so Jenny can study – I don't know why that girl hasn't gotten it through her head yet that college is out of the question – "

Gibbs whirled around, his brow furrowed.

"You're diggin' into Jen 'cause she wants to stay in school?" he hissed. He pointed to himself again. "I don't give a damn about school, Dad, but Jen's got a brain – and I want my daughter to have a brain, so if you think I got a problem with Jen needing help so she can get at least a diploma, you can go f – "

Jackson smacked his son in the back of the head hard, cutting him off mid-swear. He gave him a cold, unmoving look, his jaw tense, and Gibbs reached up to grasp the nape of his neck, fuming under the surface. He'd been an idiot to think he'd get any sympathy from his father, when he came home from Jenny's angry because of Jasper Shepard's flat-out refusal to let her go to Prom.

He was standing there, contemplating responding to the head-slap with a firm right hook, when the bell on the door rang and Jenny came in, her read hair tied up messily, long strands falling and framing her face.

Jackson turned quickly, composing himself, and Gibbs lowered his hand.

"Jen," he said, surprised.

Her black mascara was still a little smudged from earlier, and she was holding Natalie on her hip. The baby looked around happily, a bright bow decorating her cute little headband, and then grinned when she saw Gibbs walk towards her.

She put out her hands.

"Da!" she shrieked.

Gibbs, still frustrated with his father, smiled, the tension in his shoulders relaxing immediately as he took the baby. He pressed his lips to her forehead and she giggled, leaning forward and snuggling her head into his shoulder.

"What're you doin' here?" Gibbs asked Jenny, his eyes on Natalie. "Thought you were on house arrest," he added with a snort.

"Ah, well," Jenny started, shifting her weight. She licked her lips, folding her arms across her chest nervously. "Your Mom is at my house."

Gibbs looked up, arching his brows.

"What?" he asked, right as Jackson said –

"She's where?"

Ann had been arranging a display of her famous homemade fudge when Gibbs had stormed in angrily, and she'd chased him into the yard to try and figure out what had happened before dragging him back into the store to 'calm down' by putting him to work.

When Jackson had started in on him, after speaking to Ann, Gibbs hadn't noticed that she'd never come back.

Jenny turned and looked at the fudge, and then looked back, chewing her lip. She nodded.

"She came over," she said quickly. "Out of – well, she walked," she explained. "It was so – embarrassing – not her, for me," Jenny amended, shooting Jackson an earnest glance.

"What business does she have over there?" Jackson asked, brow furrowing.

Jenny took a deep breath.

"Natalie was still crying," she said softly, "she'd been crying since you left," she added, looking at Jethro, "and I was trying to calm her down, but I was still upset, and Dad was still tearing into me."

"And Mom just showed up?" Gibbs snorted.

Jenny nodded.

"She told me I'd best take Natalie and leave for a while, because she wanted to speak to Chief privately."

Jackson swore.

Gibbs looked down at Natalie.

"What's she doing there?" he murmured, more to the baby than anyone else.

Jackson Gibbs suddenly cleared his throat derisively and grabbed a box, shaking his head sharply as he started towards the storage room stairs.

"I'll give you one guess," he snapped. He shook his head again. "So much for not interferin'," he added, storming off. "That woman."

Gibbs heard him muttering to himself as he stomped up the stairs, and glared after him a moment. When the stomping turned to the creaking noises of Jackson angrily sorting things around upstairs, Gibbs took a few steps back and leaned against the table, adjusting Natalie on his hip.

Jenny stepped closer, trying to catch his eye.

"Jethro?" she prompted. "Did I miss something? Is Ann angry with me?"

Gibbs laughed and looked up, shaking his head.

"Nah," he said, a little smugly. "But I haven't seen her since she got it out of me that your old man wouldn't let you go to Prom," he explained.

Jenny raised her eyebrows.

"She wouldn't go over there and try to change his mind," she said in disbelief.

Gibbs shrugged – he hadn't told his mother because he expected to do that; he'd just been angry that Jenny was so upset, and increasingly angry that the old Colonel wasn't lightening up even a little. Ann was a fairly unobtrusive woman – she stayed out of business that wasn't hers – but it occurred to him now that she may have started to think of Jenny, and definitely Natalie, as just as much hers as Jasper Shepard's.

"Wouldn't put it past her," Gibbs grunted evenly. He tilted his head and arched a brow at Natalie. "Grandma's tougher than everybody thinks," he confided pointedly.

"He's not going to listen to her," Jenny said, exasperated, "and then I'll have it worse when I get home, because he'll think I put her up to it – "

Gibbs shook his head, snorting again.

"You should buy a dress," he said smugly. "Even the Chief ain't gonna say no to Ann Gibbs on a mission."

Gibbs pulled out a chair and sat down, placing Natalie on the edge of the table. He scooted up a little, and put one hand behind her, resting lightly on her back to catch her if she fell back. Jenny sighed and leaned on the back of one of the chairs.

"Oh, did I tell you?" she spoke up nervously. "She pushes herself up now, like this," Jenny mimicked a bridge-like position, "and then she sways, and falls, and rolls over. So I think she'll crawl early, or even walk early – maybe ten months, even. I asked my mom, she said I walked right on my first birthday."

Jenny swallowed, pushing her hair back.

"And, she plays peek-a-boo with Dad – I think she understands it, even, and for the past two nights, she slept through the night."

Gibbs arched his brows at Natalie.

"Gettin' the hang of the sleepin', huh?" he asked seriously. "Good."

Natalie reached out and grabbed his mouth, flattening her palm against his face. She giggled, her blue eyes sparkling, and he grinned.

"I scheduled her next vaccinations for, ah – the last week in May, but I might need you to take her."

Gibbs nodded, shrugging.

"Okay," he muttered, and then he turned and looked at her warily, apparently just understanding. "I don't want to," he said suddenly.

"Jethro," she protested. "I have to go to planning for senior year," she reminded him.

"But they'll stick her and she'll cry."

"You're used to her crying!"

"Yeah," Gibbs said pointedly, "but she'll blame me for taking her and she'll hate me."

"She'll be just over six months, she doesn't understand that kind of logic," Jenny laughed.

Gibbs gave her a solemn look and then looked down at Natalie.

"She understands everything," he said sagely, winking at her. Natalie grinned again, and then reached out to tug on his shirt, pulling it towards him with baby-ish strength and bunching it in her small fingers.

Jenny rolled her eyes good-naturedly, and grinned. She leaned closer to Natalie and adjusted her bow, scrunching up her face admiringly.

"You could never hate Daddy," Jenny said matter-of-factly. "He loves ev-er-y-thing you do."

"Especially when you piss off my old man," Gibbs said seriously.

Natalie giggled, thrilled to be getting so much attention from both of them at once. She released Gibbs' shirt, and leaned forward to touch his chest, drawn in by the colours, when the bell rang again and Ann entered the store.

Gibbs' mother pressed a hand to her chest, closing her eyes a moment and coughing. She turned her head slightly, taking a few deep breaths.

"Ma," Gibbs said, distracted. "You okay?"

Jenny reached down and picked up Natalie, cradling her against her chest. She looked apprehensive, and when Mrs. Gibbs finally stopped coughing, she turned and smiled brightly, even though her cheeks were pale.

"This dust, these spring allergies," she said hoarsely, waving her hand. She took a deep breath. "Leroy, you'll pick Jenny up for the Prom at seven p.m. Jenny, your curfew is ten p.m. I feel that's a little early, but I had very little bargaining power," she said frankly.

"But – he won't – he won't watch Natalie," Jenny said, taken aback.

"No, he won't," Ann agreed. "I'll watch her. I'd like to keep her all day, if you wouldn't mind. She is my granddaughter, after all."

Jenny opened her mouth in surprise, staring.

"You don't have to – I mean – "

Ann held up her hand kindly.

"I want to," she said warmly. "You'll need time to get ready – hair, make-up, the works."

Jenny swallowed hard, and blinked her eyes a couple of times.

"I – thank you, Ann," she said in a small voice. "I don't know how you convinced him but – thank you."

Ann sighed.

"He's a very hard man to break, your father," she said wryly. "I suppose the Army made sure of that – but I did remind him that his daughter has been as good a mother as she can possibly be, without much understanding from him, and one night out is not completely undeserved."

Gibbs leaned back, and smiled at his mother proudly. Jenny bit her lip. She turned and handed Natalie to Gibbs – Natalie sat contently in his lap and beamed up at him, and he waved at her – and strolled over to Ann and threw her arms around her.

"Thank you," she said again. "Ann," she paused, pulling back a little. "You're the only one who cuts me any slack," she said, her voice cracking unhappily.

Ann rested her palm on Jenny's shoulder, and brushed a few tendrils of her hair back.

"Jennifer," she said softly. "Life itself will make you plenty aware of your mistakes and of the hardships that come with it. Your father, and my husband, mean well, but they can be very – myopic – in their view of things," she paused, glanced at Gibbs and the baby, and smiled gently. "I don't want to be responsible for chasing the two of you away," she said gently. "I don't want the first thing you do after you graduate and get married to be to move so far away from me."

Jenny smiled, nodding. She rested her hand on Ann's, and stood there a moment, just genuinely content to be given some understanding and compassion – it meant so much to her, and she valued Ann's presence in her life so much, that for once, the idea that she and Gibbs were now almost mandated to get married one day didn't scare her so much.

Gibbs picked up Natalie and held her above his head, grinning at her - one of these days, Jasper Shepard was going to accept and get used to the fact that his daughter had a baby, and he'd start acting less like a drill sergeant and more like a father if he wanted to have a relationship with Natalie.

---

Jenny sat up in the loft of the old Crenshaw barn, dangling her feet over the edge and enjoying the dark quiet of the night – the stars through the patchy roof, the sound of crickets – and Gibbs, refilling the oil in a lamp down on the floor.

It was a hot evening – stuffy, humid – and everything about it felt perfect, even if wasn't exactly what they had planned. Gibbs climbed back up the ladder to settle down next to her, and she laughed quietly. She leaned forward, and her hair – which had been in such a nicely done up-do earlier – tumbled over her shoulder.

Gibbs plucked a stray bobby pin out of her hair – they were littering the hay at the moment, because she'd gotten sick of the fancy hairstyle – and threw it aside. He pulled her hair back, and pressed his lips to her neck; she laughed again.

"My father would throw a fit if he knew where I was," she murmured.

Gibbs shrugged.

"We're not doin' anything wrong," he drawled.

She shook her head, biting her lip – no, not technically. They just weren't where they were supposed to be – but the dance had seemed so overrated, once they'd been there for longer than half an hour – and the people there had just seemed to create a space around them; Jenny had felt like an exhibit.

"God forbid he find out I'm deviating from the plan even in the slightest," she muttered.

Gibbs put his arm around her, and she leaned into him, looking around at the shadows the flickering oil lamp projected onto the wall. She sighed and closed her eyes, resting her head gently against his shoulder.

"That was overrated," she murmured.

"Told you," he gloated.

She elbowed him lightly, and he grinned, ruffling her hair a little. He turned his head and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"This is better."

"Yeah," she sighed.

She was silent for a moment, and then she licked her lips.

"Betsy Carmichael was right," she said dully.

Gibbs paused, and pulled back a little.

"Jen, Betsy Carmichael isn't right about anything," he said flatly. He arched a brow. "What're you talkin' about?"

Jenny shrugged a little.

"You know, a couple months ago," she muttered. "She said it looks like we broke up, because we aren't ever … together anymore."

"We're together!"

Jenny shrugged.

"Not like we used to be," she said in a small voice. She chewed on her lip for a moment, and then tilted her head, looking up at him. "We never get to be alone anymore. It's like – they've got leashes on us."

"Can you blame 'em?" Gibbs asked dryly.

Jenny didn't smile.

"But I want time alone with you," she went on quietly. "I miss it."

She looked away, looked down at her knees. She shifted her hand, taking the edge of the sash on her dress and twirling it around her fingers.

"I miss hiding up here for hours when we said we were at the drive-in, or the soda shop," she murmured.

He ran his hand over her gently, pulling her into him. He turned and rested his chin on her head lightly, letting out a heavy breath.

"Yeah," he mumbled, relenting. He lifted his shoulders as if to ask – what can you do? He cleared his throat. "Still like you okay, though," he drawled.

"I like you, too," she whispered. She closed her eyes. "See? We used to say we loved each other."

"Jen," he said abruptly, leaning back and looking at her sharply. "That's not what I meant – I love you," he said, stubborn. "You and Nat."

She turned towards him earnestly.

"I know," she said hoarsely. "I love you," she told him. She licked her lips quickly. "Do you ever think, though, that it's not the same?" He didn't answer, and she went on, twirling her sash tight around her finger. "I mean, we used to just – feel it. You ever think now it's 'cause … we think we have to? For Natalie?"

He looked at her, brow furrowed. There was a strange tug in his chest; he felt like she was trying to tell him something, like there was some right thing for him to say – but he didn't know what it was. He just shook his head.

"No," he said gruffly, his voice low.

She swallowed hard, and her shoulders relaxed a little.

"You aren't unhappy?"

"Are you?" he retorted aggressively – defensive.

"No!" she said quickly. "No – I don't – well, that's not what I mean," she rambled, exasperated. She sighed and pushed her messy hair back, chewing on her lip. She blinked a few times, and her bottom lip trembled. "Natalie's almost seven months old, Jethro," she said tiredly, "and I still feel like I'm drowning – it's like no one is used to this yet. And we're just – trapped – I can't imagine what this is going to be like when she's – older."

"What do you mean?" Gibbs asked shortly.

"I mean – she's a baby right now, but what about when she's two, and I try to discipline her, but my father says I'm doing it wrong, and takes over – or your mother gives me some gentle advice – and God bless her, Jethro, but what if I don't want to do something the 'old fashioned way' and then I feel horrible because she's disappointed or disapproves – I mean how are we going to do this, even when we get used to it, with all these people who think we can't?"

Her words came out in a rush, and he tried to catch them all, his eyes on her – he almost, for a split second, wished they were back at the prom, with all eyes on them – but no place to talk like this.

"I know that look in your eye!" Jenny burst out. "You're sitting there thinking we just have to take it day by day – "

"What do you want me to say, Jen?" he asked, exasperated. "We're not gonna live with them forever – we're not gonna be just kids forever – when Natalie's two, we'll both be out of high school. We can move – "

"But how – "

"I told you," he said, his voice steady. "I can join up – get us out – and that's money for college, for you. I can do it sooner, if you want – "

She reached out and seized the lapel of his suit, gripping it tightly.

"Don't leave me here alone," she pleaded. "Don't – "

"I'd take you with me, Jen!"

"You can't," she snapped fiercely. "You can't have dependents on a base unless you're married – and you can't have the kind of pay you need, or benefits, unless you're married – and we're too young for that – and my father would put me in the ground before he let me get married at seventeen!"

She shook her head.

"I don't want you to do that," she said, her voice softer. "If you go – he'll keep me away from your parents, Jethro, I'll be in prison. And you'll get – killed, or – "

"We're not even at war right now," he scoffed.

She shook her head, closing her eyes a moment. She leaned forward, forehead against his chest.

"I know you wanted to join the Marines, Jethro," she said softly. "I don't – I don't think that's a good idea anymore." She bit her lip hard. "Like – I can't really go to college, anymore."

Gibbs ran his hand through her hair, and tilted her head back.

"It'd only be hard for a little while," he promised hoarsely.

She took a deep breath.

"We never get to just be together anymore as it is," she said in a small voice. "Can you – Jethro, please just stop acting like the military fixes all this? I want you here. I have a year of school left. I need you to be here. And you can't – you can't break your mother's heart like that."

Gibbs fell silent, his jaw tight – that was a good appeal. She was right; his mother had never liked the idea of him joining up, because she'd wanted college – and she didn't understand why he wanted it, anyway.

"Jen," he said finally. "I want to do what's best for us. You and Natalie."

"I know," she said softly, swallowing hard. "Sometimes I think we have to re-evaluate everything. I don't know if we can just … do what we're supposed to."

She didn't clarify what she meant - she didn't know what she was saying. She just never felt sure of herself anymore, and she was always a person confident in her own opinions and actions. So much of her now was devoted to her daughter, but still had the mind of a teenage girl; she still wanted her own life. She sensed – that Gibbs had resigned himself, and not necessarily unhappily, to marrying her when they graduated, and moving somewhere twenty miles away, and living – but how often did those small town, morality weddings work?

Jenny felt the same way about Gibbs now as she did before Natalie was born; but she often felt differently about herself, and some dark part of her, in the back of her mind, was afraid she'd start to hate him if she just – accepted that this is what teen mothers did, in the small town American eighties: they got married, and they swallowed their medicine.

She slumped against him. She forced herself to calm down, to stop letting a maelstrom of thoughts she couldn't even sort out yet control her.

"I'm sorry," she murmured huskily. "I'm ruining a good night."

He didn't say anything for a long time, and then he cleared his throat.

"You know somethin'?" he asked gruffly, a little hesitant.

"Hmm?"

"Think I'd rather be home with her," he grunted.

Jenny opened her eyes a little. She smiled, and tilted her head up.

"Natalie?"

Gibbs nodded. He reached into the pocket of his suit, and pulled out a polaroid – it was a photo they'd taken before leaving, with Natalie included – an absurd memento of their high school lives: corsages, senior proms, and a baby.

Jenny looked at it, and touched the image of Natalie's face. She had that feeling of relief again, of peaceful calm, that seemed to chase away all her worries and fears – she had to keep working on accepting that her life was Natalie's now, and stop trying to make it so she'd be able to do everything she wanted and be a good mother.

It just wasn't possible.

"I was thinkin' we could take her on a picnic," Gibbs said slowly, as if testing the water. He let her take the photo, still staring at it, and tilted his head, catching her eye. "Here, in the barn."

Jenny took a moment, and then looked around them. She smiled a little, her eyes on the ceiling – catching sight of stars through the holes. She looked back down at the polaroid in her hands, then leaned back against Gibbs to savor the small privilege of being alone together – and a small part of her wondered what would happen if they brought Natalie here, too – the last stronghold of more innocent days.

---

Exasperated, Jenny shook a bottle aggressively, shaking her head as she watched Gibbs hold Natalie's hand so she could stand tall. This was after he'd just spent a wary thirty minutes closely following her around the barn – she was crawling.

"What are we going to do when she starts walking?" Jenny asked. "I don't know how she went from barely holding herself up on her hands and knees to Speedy Gonzales in a couple of days!"

Gibbs dipped his head and kissed Natalie's cheek smugly.

"'Cause she's smart," he growled.

"Ha," Jenny laughed. She arched a brow. "What if she's trying to get away, because she's figured out we don't know what we're doing?"

Gibbs pulled Natalie into his lap and wrapped his arms around her in a loose cage, shaking his head.

"Then she'll have to figure out how to escape," he drawled seriously. He poked her gently in the stomach, tickling her, and Natalie giggled, squirming. She grabbed his hand and started gnawing on his thumb.

"Don't let her do that," Jenny whined.

"Her teeth hurt," Gibbs protested defensively – Natalie was teething, and she was happiest when someone was letting her gnaw something.

"She'll think biting is okay," Jenny retorted.

Gibbs shrugged. They could worry about that when she understood what biting actually was, in any real way. He continued to let Natalie blithely chomp on his thumb, and the baby's eyes followed Jenny's arm movements. Gibbs grinned in amusement and looked up – it was picnic day, and he still couldn't believe they'd managed to get away.

Jenny's father was on duty, and Gibbs had taken the day off work and for some inexplicable reason, Jackson hadn't had one word to say about his lack of responsibility in daring to take one day to spend with his family instead of working for his family.

"Here," Jenny leaned forward, and handed him the bottle, and he held Natalie firmly in his lap and held it to her lips, lazily feeding his daughter.

Jenny sat back and tucked her hair behind her ears before she picked up a sandwich, finally getting her moment to eat. She watched Gibbs for a moment, and then smiled brilliantly.

"She does look just like you," she squeaked suddenly.

Gibbs gave her a look.

"What?"

"Your mom showed me your baby pictures – aw, Jethro!" Jenny squealed. "She looks just like you, when you were her age!"

Gibbs glared at her, and looked away, muttering sheepishly. Jenny kept grinning, watching him, and Natalie reached up to half-hold onto her bottle, eyes on her father. Gibbs smiled at her.

"I am the good lookin' one," he decided.

Jenny glared at him.

"Hey," she snorted. "You don't want a girl looking like you when she grows up," she teased.

"I sure as hell don't want her lookin' like you!" Gibbs retorted.

"Why not?" Jenny demanded, outraged.

"'Cause some guy might knock 'er up," Gibbs said, deadpan.

Jenny's mouth fell open, and she made a huffy noise – and then she closed her eyes and tried to resist laughing – well, she thought dryly, he has a fair point.

"You win," she relented.

"Right, we want her to be ugly," Gibbs said, still in that solemn, half-serious tone.

"Ugly, with my brain," Jenny agreed.

Gibbs looked down of her. He considered her for a minute and then looked up and tilted his head at Jenny.

"Then what's she get of mine?" he asked.

Jenny tilted her head right back, flicking her eyes from him to the baby. She lowered her hands, holding her sandwich in her lap, and then she smiled a little, her eyes lingering on Natalie for a moment. She looked back up at him, and lifted her shoulders.

"Well, your eyes," she said quietly. She chewed on her lip. "And…I hope," she paused. "Most of what I want her to get from you isn't physical."

"Like what?" Gibbs grunted.

She shrugged. She didn't know how to put it into words – maybe his strength, his stoic nature; the way nothing seemed to get to him. She thought life might be hard for Natalie, for a while – while it was hard for them – so she'd need thick skin, and resilience.

"Quiet," Jenny decided.

Gibbs arched a brow. She smiled, lifting her sandwich to her mouth again.

"I want her to be more – observant, pensive, like you," she explained, "not hot-tempered like me."

Gibbs shrugged. While Jenny ate, he looked back down at Natalie, and he thought about that a moment – and he wasn't sure he agreed. He'd seen the way people treated Jenny since she'd gotten pregnant, and he'd seen the way she weathered it – he thought maybe girls needed to be like Jenny. He'd never been interested in a woman who wasn't.

He shook his head.

"What, Jethro?" Jenny asked, curious.

"I don't want 'er to be quiet," he said.

Jenny paused, listening.

"Ma's quiet."

Jenny narrowed her eyes.

"It would be a blessing if Natalie was anything like your mother," she said defensively, hardly believing he was using his mother as an example of what not to be.

"Not what I meant," Gibbs said tensely, looking up stiffly. "Ma shouldn't be quiet when Dad starts cuttin' out her stuff first when we're tight on money, 'stead of quittin' goin' bowling or up to see LJ Moore on weekends."

Jenny paused a moment. While she stared at him, Gibbs looked back down at Natalie. He sat her up on his thigh a little more, and she snuggled into his side, leaning back on his arm while she finished her bottle sleepily.

Jenny finished her sandwich thoughtfully – she'd never thought of Gibbs' mother as complacent, but then, Jenny only knew her when she was fighting the Colonel on Jenny's side, or giving some much needed help. She didn't really know the dynamics of Gibbs' family behind closed doors.

"Jethro," she began quietly. "I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

He looked up warily.

"What?"

"California," she said dully, without much ado. "I'm not eighteen yet; my parents' custody agreement still applies."

Gibbs shrugged, not really seeing the point. Natalie pushed her bottle away for a moment, and as he looked down to situate her, he realized the issue and looked back up sharply.

"How long is it?" he asked, not sure.

"Six weeks," Jenny told him, wincing.

He swallowed.

"My mom wouldn't mind if you came," Jenny began. "She'd even," Jenny laughed. "Hell, she'd even let me sleep in your room – and, she's going to get me on birth control, the pill kind," she added earnestly. "Behind Dad's back."

"I can't go, Jen," Gibbs said stiffly. "I got to work."

Jenny chewed the inside of her lip – she knew that. Even if he could afford a ticket – or if her mother bought him one, like she said she would – he wouldn't be able to take off that much work, not without losing his job – and he didn't have enough saved to meet his child support requirements.

"She doesn't have to go," Gibbs said warily. "I can take care of her – Mom will help, but, it'll give you a break, and I'll have time, I'll be out of school – "

He faltered; she was looking at him with a white face, wide eyes.

"Leave her? For six weeks?" she asked, aghast. "I can't – I can't, Jethro – I'd go crazy, I'd worry, I'd miss her so much – "

"I'll take good care of her, Jen!"

"I've never been away from her, not even for a night!" Jenny said desperately. "I can't – and my father's reaction if I tried – you can't really expect me to leave my baby here, Jethro – "

"She's mine, too!" he retorted. "You think I want her gone for six weeks?"

"I'm her mother!"

Gibbs stared at her, not comprehending. Did she think he didn't love Natalie as much as she did? Or did she just think, despite how forward thinking she said she was, that something like this just wouldn't bother a man?

"My mother hasn't even met her!" Jenny said. She didn't know why she felt so desperate – she had full custody; if it got down to the wire, it didn't matter what Gibbs wanted. "I know it's going to be hard – "

"What if she learns to walk in California?" Gibbs snapped. "Can't you just – skip this summer?"

"Jethro," Jenny pleaded.

"Can't your mother come here?"

"Jethro," she said again. "I want to go."

He looked at her in a little surprise, and she swallowed hard.

"I just want a little time away from this town," she confessed hoarsely. "Away from – whispers, and just – maybe when I get back, they'll just have gotten over it."

Gibbs pulled Natalie's empty bottle away and picked the baby up, holding her against his shoulder. He stared at Jenny, nodding a little – he supposed he understood that; the whole school year had been suffocating for her – first because she was pregnant, then because she'd nearly drowned in the stress of new motherhood and classes.

"Half the school knows I failed that Physics class," she said in a small voice. "And I know I'm supposed to make it up this summer but I just … I need a break," she managed. "I'll catch up later, I just … I'm just resigned to that."

She'd decided to persevere and stick with her AP classes – she'd felt like it was one of the few times she made her own choice, against everyone's wishes – a small way to try and wrestle control from her father or from motherhood or something. She'd stayed in the AP classes, and she'd managed to get just high enough grades on the exams to pull college credit, if she ever went - but she'd barely scraped a passing grade in math, and her science had suffered – she wasn't on track to graduate on time anymore.

"You can take the science next summer," Gibbs said gruffly. "They'll give you a diploma after summer school."

He knew plenty of guys that did that, most of 'em working with him down at the mines.

She shrugged a little, and sighed, pushing her hair back.

"Maybe," she said. "Maybe I'll – try some dual enrollment, with the community college in Bloomsburg. Or more APs, and then just get a high school equivalency and have the credits."

"You do whatever you want, Jen."

He gave him a small smile – he thought he was sounding supportive, but sometimes, when he said stuff like that, it made her feel like he didn't really care – he didn't really get it, she knew; he didn't get that she liked school, and she'd always be devastated she hadn't gotten it right.

Gibbs turned Natalie around, and the baby giggled, reaching out to Jenny. Jenny held out her hands.

"Come here, Nat," she encouraged lightly. "Come to Mama."

Natalie toppled over onto her hands and knees, prowled over Gibbs' legs, and crawled unsteadily towards her mother, smiling brightly. Jenny welcomed her with open arms, and picked her up to kiss her, pressing her cheek to the baby's.

"I'm bringing her to your graduation ceremony," Jenny announced. "I don't care what your Dad says – or mine," she said stubbornly.

She was starting to get more confident taking charge of herself, of Natalie's life; she felt like going to California would be good for that – her mother would let Jenny be the mother to Natalie, and when she came back, she'd have the gall to embrace that – maybe.

Gibbs smirked, and Jenny smoothed Natalie's hair back, nodding at the baby with a playfully serious look on her face. She pursed her lips, and tickled Natalie's chin.

"We're gonna see Daddy get his diploma, aren't we?" she asked gently, holding her close.

She looked over at Gibbs, and he nodded once, drawing his knee up. He watched them, and he furrowed his brow, setting his jaw a little tightly – instead of joining the Marines after high school, he was headed for a life of forty-hour weeks and overtime – at least for a while, at least until Jenny was out of high school. He didn't know how he was going to feel when he walked across that stage next week, but he was glad Jenny was going to bring Natalie to remind him of why he had to stay.

---

The day he walked across the stage was one of those surreal days during which – for a moment – he felt like he wasn't used to any of this yet; that he'd never be used to any of it. The fact that the youngest child in the audience was his child – that the baby who fussed wearily through half the ceremony was his baby – seemed unimaginable; like he was viewing Leroy Jethro Gibbs' life in abstract.

But when he was off the stage, diploma holder in hand, it all fell back into place, and he was proud to stand there with his father clapping him on the back, his mother kissing his cheek, and Jenny hurrying over with Natalie in her arms.

"Ann, Jackson," she greeted. "She got so hot – I tried to keep her quiet, but I also didn't want to miss you walk – "

"Ahh," Gibbs interrupted, reaching out to take her. "I don't mind," he said, lifting her up high, tilting his head, and looking at her with wide eyes and a smirk. "Do I, Bug?" he drawled. "Made it more exciting."

Jackson Gibbs gave him a look. Anna smiled, and reached out to touch Natalie's back affectionately as Gibbs lowered her and held her on his hip.

"She did fine," Ann said airily. "I'd expect any baby to be a little fussy during that – she calmed down when Jasper took her, Jenny," Ann added encouragingly.

Jenny nodded, glancing over her shoulder – the old Colonel was standing a bit away, his shoulders back professionally.

"She loves him," Jenny noted, a little subdued. "She's always quiet when he holds her," she added, tilting her head. She leaned a little closer, and caught Gibbs' eye. "Maybe she senses he's a better Mom," she whispered loudly.

"Oh, Jennifer," Ann said softly. "Don't say that."

Jenny shrugged. Gibbs glared at her. In another moment, Jasper Shepard was approaching. He cleared his throat, stepped forward towards Gibbs, and held out his hand.

"Good job, Leroy," he said seriously, looking the younger man directly in the eye.

Gibbs put his hand out immediately, ready to accept any praise or camaraderie Jenny's father' offered. He gave a good handshake, and nodded swiftly; Chief Shepard considered him a moment, and then said:

"You've been doin' your part," he said pointedly – and publicly, "I appreciate that. You keep doin' it."

With that, Shepard dropped Gibbs' hand, and with a short nod to Gibbs' father – and a small, sheepish sort of smile to Ann – he retreated to the back of the football field, no doubt waiting to take Jenny home.

Jenny gave him a look over her shoulder, and then grit her teeth.

"That was backhanded," she growled under her breath.

Gibbs shrugged. He didn't think it was that offensive – Shepard had a right to be suspicious, worried – maybe he sensed that Gibbs wanted to leave, wanted to try to take Jenny with him – he was telling Gibbs to keep working as much as he was telling him to keep Jenny here, and in school.

"The man's got a point," Jackson said sharply. "Leroy, it ain't gonna be no parade now that you're out of school – it's all work now, savin' up for a place – "

"Jackson, Jackson," Ann interrupted calmly, taking his arm through hers. She shook her head a little, and gave his arm a tug – indicating they should make their way to talk to Jenny's father.

Ann smiled at Gibbs, and gave a little wave to Natalie.

"You be good, Princess," she said to the baby. "We'll have fun this weekend!" she added, giving Gibbs a small wink of pride.

Jenny waited until they were out of earshot and turned, reaching up to adjust the bow in Natalie's soft hair. She leaned in to kiss her, stepping up closer to Gibbs.

"I'm going to be there from the crack of dawn until she goes to sleep," Jenny sighed.

Gibbs was taking Natalie for the next five days, part of the agreement they'd worked out since Jenny was going to California in ten days. It wasn't the same, Gibbs 'having' her while Jenny was within walking distance of his house, but it felt fair – and, he'd have the opportunity to have all the responsibility all the time, like Jenny usually did.

He was looking forward to it. He had the next two days off, by pure luck, and he'd decided not to pick up shifts, so he could spend a lot of that time with Jenny and Natalie.

A couple of guys ran by, one stopped and slapped Gibbs on the back.

"We're out, man!" he howled.

A girl who'd been in one of Gibbs' classes grabbed him and shoved him.

"He's holding a baby, you idiot!" she snapped, adjusting her cap. "Natalie looks precious, Jenny," she added, smiling gently.

Jenny smiled back nervously – she always thought even compliments were somehow underhanded, when they concerned her or her daughter.

"Pretty as her mother," Chuck drawled – Chuck being the guy Gibbs' had always loved to get into fist fights and scuffles with.

Gibbs looked tense, and Jenny touched his chest, shaking her head. Chuck laughed, sweeping off his cap and tossing it into the air.

"He ain't out," Chuck said. "He's stuck with 'er forever," he snorted.

The group moved on, with the girl in Gibbs' class shooting a nasty look at Chuck and then rolling her eyes sympathetically at Jenny. Gibbs ignored them all, and tilted his head, his eyes on Natalie.

"You don't look like a trap," he said seriously, giving her a solemn look up and down.

Natalie laughed at him, and reached up to grab at the tassel on his cap, grasping at it with her little fingers. Gibbs tilted his head back a little so she couldn't quite get it, and nodded contently, watching her follow it with her blue eyes.

"Nah, not a trap," he decided. "People want to leave traps."

Jenny smiled, sighing and pushing back her hair.

"Can't everyone just get over it?" she murmured.

She frowned, and then ran her hand over his shoulder.

"I'm really proud of you, Jethro," she said.

He gave her a look.

"I didn't do anything," he said, brushing it off.

"You stayed in school – "

"I got the bare minimum GPA," he snorted – he sounded a little too smug about it, so she whacked him in the shoulder lightly and rolled her eyes.

"I'm proud of you," she repeated. "Natalie needs us to do stuff like this," she added earnestly.

Gibbs nodded, looking over at Natalie again.

"Why'd you think I stayed in?" he muttered seriously. He reached out and tickled Natalie, watching her wriggle in his arms, grab at his fingers, and laugh happily. "I'd be in basic training if it weren't for you," he said good-naturedly.

Jenny chewed the inside of her lip, and Gibbs gave her a small little smile.

"Teasin', Jen."

"I don't know why you want to join the Marines so badly," she said softly. "I always thought it was so romantic, though – when I was younger."

Gibbs considered her a moment.

"Funny how younger was last year – "

"But it feels like ten years?" Jenny finished. She nodded, looking a little nostalgic. "Yeah," she agreed softly.

Gibbs watched her for a moment, and then shrugged.

"Marines can wait," he grunted, testing the waters.

She didn't say anything; she didn't know what was going to happen.

"Are you going to miss her?" Jenny asked.

Gibbs nodded, pulling Natalie close to him.

"Yeah," he answered hoarsely, bouncing her in his arms a little. "She's gonna forget me."

"No, she won't," Jenny promised. "I won't let her."

Gibbs didn't say anything, just stood in the shade of a tree in a cap and gown, holding his daughter – she was almost eight months old now, and he wondered what she'd look like when she was back in Stillwater in August.

Natalie succeeded in grasping the tassel on his cap and pulling it off. She laughed excitedly as it fell to the grass.

"Da Da!" she cried, pointing. "Da Da!"

Jenny bent to pick it up, and after brushing it off carefully, she placed it gingerly on Natalie's head, smiling in amusement at the sight – the dark purple looked striking on her, and the cap itself was nearly as big as her.

"My, my," Jenny murmured, leaning in to kiss her cheek. "Don't you look like a valedictorian?"

Gibbs shifted Natalie higher, holding her up closer to his shoulder, looking at her intently. She yanked on the tassel, pulling the cap down over her eyes a little, and he gently nudged it back up, studying her with both pride, and a sudden daunting fear of the future. He swallowed hard, and then hugged her a little closer, his eyes wandering up, and over to Jenny's father – standing so far away from them.

The Chief was watching, his cool, unreadable eyes on his daughter, and on his granddaughter, and standing there, holding Natalie, looking at her wearing his little graduation cap, Gibbs wondered if he had an inkling of how Jasper Shepard must have felt when he found out Jenny was pregnant, and the life he'd wanted for her flashed before his eyes.

---

"...and all those times I rushed to get growed up
in a hurry to become a man..."
-Eric Church; Faster Than My Angels Can Fly

---

(perhaps this is obvious) but I kind of have a 'Church' theme going for this one.

please keep giving me your thoughts and theories!

-Alexandra