BENEATH THE SURFACE
Part Twenty-Eight
For that week, Rogue did nothing but think about her situation with Remy. Not just his request of course, but the issue he was avoiding speaking of - Jean-Luc. It was an elephant in the room that was still undeniably hard to ignore. It wasn't that she even wanted to acknowledge the damn elephant, but letting it sit in the room taking up space was excruciating.
It hurt to have it there, it made her ache every time she walked in to the same room Remy was in and it was just there with him like a giant invisible tumour that was dragging him down.
If it hurts me, it has to hurt him, Rogue realised dully as she left her final class that Friday holding her tupperware tub with her home economics failure rattling around inside. She'd burned her cookies, unfortunately she'd been too caught up thinking about Remy to pay attention to the instructions...to distracted to remember to set the damn oven timer.
School was really the only time she could think about him in between subjects. Her time at home was spent on training, there had been a couple of missions too and then there was school homework. She'd hardly found any time to spend with her husband outside of their homework time and even less time to think of him. It was getting rather frustrating.
"Hey, what's in the box?" came a cheery voice at her side.
Rogue had been slowly walking towards her locker, feeling a little dazed with tiredness and the mixture of thoughts, she hadn't even noticed Tabitha coming towards her. She stopped just a few feet shy of her locker, "oh...hi..."
"Home ec?" Tabitha asked, she took the tupperware box from Rogue and peeled the lid off to glance inside, "uhm..."
"Yeah, Ah burned the cookies," Rogue felt her face flush a little with embarrassment."
"They're not burned," Tabitha smirked, "Just...well done..."
"Yeah, but cookies aren't meant to be chargrilled," Rogue frowned a little.
Tabitha took a cookie from the tub and bit into it, it made a loud cracking sound, she winced a little and crunched down on it, "what...is this?"
"Pecan and butterscotch," Rogue went to her locker and began twisting the combination lock.
"Tastes...fine..." Tabitha said.
Rogue couldn't help but feel Tabitha was humouring her, she'd tasted the cookies herself and they were just awful. Rogue said nothing, she went too far with the lock on the third number, she sighed and began again.
"They're...a little hard though," Tabitha confessed, "how long were they in for?"
"About forty minutes..." Rogue winced, the recipe had suggested no more than thirty. "It said twenty-five to thirty...Ah forgot to set the timer."
"You've been sort of distracted a lot this week," Tabitha admitted, still crunching on the same cookie. "Like when you didn't set your alarm on Tuesday because you forgot, and then you forgot to take your homework to school yesterday..."
"Yeah..." Rogue sighed, "Ah think Ah'm just swamped. All the homework and then there's...the stuff at home..." she stopped, she'd done it again, two times now. Thank god there was an infinite number of tries on a manual combination lock, if this was digital she'd have been locked out of her own locker by now.
Tabitha leaned against the locker next to Rogue's, she helped herself to another cookie, "And your boyfriend."
Rogue grunted. No one had said much about it since Monday, she was surprised no one had until now. She'd begun to wonder if Remy's snapping at them had made them reluctant to know more. Or if he'd had private words with them and warned them to keep their mouths shut. Either way it had been a welcome silence on the subject until Tabitha had just broken it.
"Whom none of us have even met," Tabitha continued, she chewed for a moment. "You've been so schtum about the entire thing..."
"Look..." Rogue began, not sure how to continue.
"'Cause I can see how that would be a little distracting," the blonde supposed. "How come you haven't told anyone about him yet? Not his name or...what he's like or...where he's from..."
"Ah like to keep my private life...uhm...well...private."
"Yeah, but I mean...don't you want to brag? I mean, geez, if I had a boyfriend I'd so be bragging."
If Tabitha had a boyfriend, it wouldn't last long enough for it to get to the bragging stage, Rogue thought irritably. It wouldn't last long enough for the second date to—wait, stop, you said you'd stop getting mean at her, just cut it out, she warned herself.
"Ah'm not like that," Rogue finally got the combination right and she pulled the locker door open and was about to reach in for the history book she knew she needed to study before Monday, but she stopped immediately seeing what was inside. A paper flower (made from a piece of a school print out she'd seen earlier that morning on recycling) and a Snickers bar.
Tabitha, intrigued by Rogue had stopped so suddenly, pushed herself away from the lockers and gazed in. "Oooh, he's from this school," she realised.
Rogue picked the Snickers out, "someone is tryin' to play a joke is all."
"What kind of joke does a Snickers imply?"
"Get some Nuts?" Rogue shrugged.
Tabitha giggled as she picked the paper flower out of the locker, "this is sweet...Oh...look, there's something else..." she reached in. "Two tickets for the Halloween dance! He bought you tickets to the dance!"
Rogue blinked, "Oh...no, Ah bought those," Rogue grabbed the tickets from Tabitha swiftly. She'd done no such thing, she hadn't even had time to buy tickets yet, seeing as they had only gone on sale as of today.
"Why'd you buy two?"
"Ah don't know, maybe in case someone didn't manage to get one," she put the tickets in her pocket.
"Or if you wanted to ask a certain guy to go," Tabitha nudged her playfully, "like your boyfriend."
Rogue sighed, she was already growing rather tired of this.
"You should ask him..." Tabitha encouraged.
"Ask who?" came Remy's familiar lazy drawl from behind them, he sidled up, bag dangling from hand.
"Her boyfriend," Tabitha smirked, "to the Halloween dance."
"Oh? Y' got tickets?" Remy asked.
"Yeah," Rogue answered, "two of them."
"He left her a paper rose and a Snickers bar," Tabitha grinned, showing Remy the rose.
"Wow...so he's a bit of a romantic, huh?" Remy asked of Rogue, she saw the smug smirk playing around the lips she could never kiss, smelled the medicinal scent of those cough drops he'd been sucking on for the past few weeks.
"It was probably just some random weirdo," Rogue frowned, caught somewhere between wanting to be angry at the obvious romantic gesture which had put her in a spot and wanting to be touched by it.
"Yeah, who happened t' know that Snickers is y' favourite candy bar," Remy pointed out. "Clearly someone who cares about y'..."
"What's his name, anyway?" Tabitha asked curiously.
Rogue frowned, and said nothing.
"Oh come on," Tabitha nudged her, "stop being so secretive, you could at least give us his name."
"Yes, Rogue," Remy spoke up, "What is his name?"
After pausing, Rogue responded quietly, "Jeremy."
"Jeremy?" Remy asked, she heard the amusement in his voice.
"Yes," Rogue replied, "got a problem with it?"
"Uhm...no, not at all," he straightened up a little, "Jus' wonderin' what kind of guy this Jeremy is. I mean, he's clearly stolen y' heart so he mus' be somethin' special."
"He's a jerk," Rogue threw a look at Remy.
Tabitha helped herself to a third cookie from the box of charred disappointments, "there's probably about twenty Jeremys at this school..."
"Ah ever said it was his first name," Rogue said. "Or his last..."
"Is it Ron Jeremy?" Remy teased.
"Ew!" Tabitha grimaced.
Rogue raised an eyebrow, "who's that?"
"A porn star..." Tabitha shuddered, "not a very...good looking one, he's old...and...uhm...yeah..."
"He's known f' other things," Remy put. "Physical...blessin's."
Rogue winced inwardly, "ugh."
"So," Remy said, he gave her a meaningful gaze, "Y'...gon' take this boyfriend of y' alls t' this thing or what?"
"Ah don't know if he can make it," Rogue threw him a look, "He's usually busy on Friday nights."
"Is he?"
"Yeah, must be, 'cause Ah can never get hold of him," Rogue took her books from the locker. It did seem that way, lately every Friday night Remy tended to disappear for an hour or so. Usually with Logan. She was beginning to suspect they were doing extra training outside of the mansion, she was wondering if it was perhaps special treatment to try and hone Remy to be on the team. She hoped it was the case.
"So y' jus' gon' go to this thing alone then?" Remy asked.
"Maybe. Or maybe Ah'll ask a friend," Rogue shrugged.
"I'm gonna go get a few tickets now," Tabitha announced.
"Might wan' t' hurry. Electronics store in town donated an expensive laptop as the prize f' best costume, so tickets are sellin' out fast. There's a line right outside the cafeteria where they're sellin' them. I was gon' buy a ticket but yeah, the size of that line made me think twice."
"Damn, you might have said before," Tabitha groaned, "I really need a free laptop."
"Yeah, Ah bet," Rogue muttered quietly, the comment went unnoticed by Tabitha, who'd already headed off to see if she could get her tickets.
Remy waited for a moment until the blonde was out of sight and earshot.
"Y' might wan' t' ask me soon," he said.
"Ah never even promised Ah would," Rogue reminded.
"Y' said-"
"Ah said Ah'd think about it," Rogue reminded.
"Well, y' better think about it quick, 'cause if she gets two tickets, y' know she's gon' ask me."
Rogue sighed, "that's gonna suck for Kurt if she does that in front of him. Ah know he's been workin' up the nerve to ask her. Ah heard him rehearsin' it in front of a mirror this mornin' when Ah was passin' by his room."
"We need t' get her straight about us, chere..." Remy said gently.
Rogue shoved the books into her bag, "Ah know that," she closed her locker and swung her bag over one shoulder, she ripped apart the wrapper of the Snickers bar, "Ah just don't know how we'd explain it to her..." she said quietly, carefully looking around to make sure none of their friends were nearby to overhear.
"However we say it, we got t' be really delicate, y' know?"
"Why delicate?" she took a bite of the bar.
"I don' wan' hurt her feelin's..." Remy took a hold of Rogue's wrist and pulled it up so he could take a small bite of the Snickers. He chewed thoughtfully, "she's sensitive."
"Sure."
"She is. More than y' would think is obvious."
Rogue thought to the talk she'd had with Tabitha that day after the argument over the makeup. Yes, Tabitha was a little bit more sensitive than she'd have given her credit for. She was also far deeper than she'd ever thought. This last week the girl had been slightly more quiet and withdrawn, Rogue had never been able to really fathom why. Today she seemed almost back to her normal self, although there was a little bit of distraction hidden behind those eyes.
Distraction over Remy, maybe, Rogue decided.
"Remy, Ah don't know how to do it without causin' a shit storm of crazy. She's gonna be mad that we kept it. She's gonna be mad that Ah lied, that you lied, and she's going to be pissed enough that she'll probably tell everyone."
"Y' maybe shoul' have thought o' that 'fore y' went tellin' her I was married," Remy smirked.
"It's not funny."
"Okay...so...what, y' want me t' fake a marriage break up, then?" Remy asked, his expression serious.
Rogue paused, "it's not the first time you've suggested that. But Ah thought you wanted to get away from all the lyin'."
"I do...but if the payout is that it's gon' be easier f' me and you t' be a couple..." he walked at her side, "I can make the sacrifice..."
"So what would we say?"
"I don' know...that...my wife is an evil cruel hag-hearted bitch who won' even tell people we're married."
"Ha ha ha," Rogue stuck her tongue out at him.
Remy laughed a little, "I'll think of somethin'."
Rogue took another bite of the Snickers, "better be convincing."
"I can be real convincing," he promised, his eyes swayed across the parking lot. He always did this now, Rogue had noticed it. It was as if he were always looking for a certain something.
"Are you lookin' for somethin'?" she dared to ask.
He paused, "jus'...seein' if any cars are for sale. Still need t' replace my car...don' got a ride of my own and it's a bit limitin'. I hate havin' t' borrow cars...always afraid of scratchin' 'em and havin' t' put up with the bitchstorm after. 'Sides, if I get a car me an you can go t' school on our own, spen' more time t' gether, non?"
"Why don't you just buy a new car with all that money you have."
"I like old cars," he shrugged.
"Ah don't think Ah'd buy a second hand car from a student...bound to get a lemon."
"When life gives y' lemons...make lemonade."
"Addin' water and sugar to your gas tank probably isn't going to fix it."
"True," he smirked, he grazed her back gently with his hand, it was deliberate but enough to seem casual.
"Ah could always buy you a car for your birthday," she offered, thinking of the money he'd dropped into her bank. If it was hers technically, surely she could use it as she wished, which included gifting it back in some was, surely.
"No," he said emphatically, "I tol' y' what I want."
"No, you're not gettin' a Harley," Rogue frowned. She was still too unnerved by his car accident to have him riding on a Harley Davidson. She was certain she wasn't being too paranoid about it.
"I so am," he commented, "But I mean I tol' y' what I wan' as a gift."
As they approached the van, Rogue fished the key out of her pocket, "yeah, you did," she sighed.
"And if y' coul' see any possibility of throwin' in a bonus..." he trailed off.
"A bonus?" she raised an eyebrow as she unlocked the van.
"Well, I'm new t' relationships and all but it's my understandin' that in a relationship when it's the guys birthday it's customary f' the girl t' give a birthday blowjob..."
"Ah've never heard that rule," she raised an eyebrow and smirked a little.
"Well, y' new t' relationships too," he supposed, getting in to the van.
Rogue got into the drivers side and slipped the key into the ignition, "see, my problem is the last time Ah did that for you, you kind of accused me of bein' a slut."
"I never said anythin' of the sort."
"You implied it."
"I never implied anythin', I was jus' confused. Y' were far too good and it threw me off completely..."
Rogue stared down at the steering wheel darkly, remembering the incident rather too vividly.
"But now I know that y' been doin' a lil'...uhm...research?" he put nicely, "it's all good...there's gon' be no arguments now."
"Ah'll think about it," Rogue sighed.
"I've heard that before," he grumbled.
"Look...okay, you know what, you want the bonus, then, fine, it's a done deal, okay? But the other thing..."
"The other thing," he repeated, sounding slightly unhappy.
"The other thing...that's more difficult..."
"Because of Tabitha," he said, he looked in the wing mirror on the passengers side, a little frown playing around his expression.
The sliding door at the side of the van opened and Tabitha climbed in, "got one ticket."
"Jus' one?" Remy asked, his voice slightly dull.
"Yeah, last one," Tabitha muttered, "Looks like I'm going stag unless I can find someone who also got a ticket."
"I didn' happen t' get one, was no way I was standin' in a line like that f' a ticket." Remy said, sounding slightly distracted, he was going through text messages on his phone, "fuck..."
"Huh?" Rogue asked.
"I messaged my wife and tol' her I was gettin' sick of havin' a long distance relationship and that I was sick of this secretive relationship...she ain' replyin'..." he grumbled.
Here we go, Rogue thought. We're going to play this game, then.
"You're too good for her," Tabitha put her hand on Remy's shoulder. "You should be with someone who cares about you..."
"Yeah, well..." Remy sighed, "I don' think she really does..startin' t' think my marriage really is over..." he ran his hand over his shaved head with a sigh. It was so impressive the way that he behaved that Rogue almost believed him for a moment. Almost wondered if she should be worrying about him straying.
Rogue stared in the rear view mirror, she could see Tabitha's shifting expression, the hopefulness. She could see the little blonde's mind beginning to work.
The others started piling into the van, Rogue sat quietly, thinking about things, Remy stared out of the window into the wing mirror, there was a serious and almost angry frown on his face. Was he upset with her now? Or was this still his exceptional acting?
Everyone was in the van, Rogue sighed quietly to herself, she was about to start the engine, she drew a breath, closed her eyes for a moment and tried to calm herself. "Remy...?"
"Yeah?" he asked distractedly.
"Why..." She began, she straightened up a little in her seat, "why don't you come to the Halloween thing with me?"
He sounded almost genuinely surprised, he turned to look at her as if he hadn't expected it right then. As if he'd never begged her to ask him at all. "Eh?"
"Ah have an extra ticket...Ah'm not takin' anyone...it'd be nice, you know...to go."
"Y' wan' go wit' me?"
"You remember how weeks and weeks ago you were jokin' at the table about how you were gonna take me to prom?"
"Yeah..." he seemed slightly vague.
"Well...Ah'm goin' as Carrie...and Carrie kind of needs a Prom King date..."
"So...y' askin' me t' go t' prom wit' you?" he raised an eyebrow at her.
"No...just the Halloween dance...but for the sake of the costume, you'll be pretendin' you're at Prom...you'll be in a tux...Ah mean...that's if you even want to-"
"I'd love t'," Remy said quickly.
"Are you guys like, making a date?" Jubilee leaned forward.
"What about this...uhm...guy you're seeing?" Kitty asked in a hush as she leaned forward to speak to Rogue. "Isn't he going be kind of miffed you're taking someone else to the dance"
"He left a paper flower and a candy bar in your locker," Tabitha said almost pointedly, Rogue could see the expression on the blonde in the rear view mirror, her outrage that Rogue was asking someone else to the dance...that it was Remy, the one she herself wanted.
"Isn't that supposed to be romantic?" asked Amara snootily.
"Ah guess," Rogue said thoughtfully, "but...Ah never gave him my locker combination..." she threw a brief glance towards Remy, knowing that from the back they'd never quite see it. "he talks about our relationship like it's hugely serious even though it's not been that long. He keeps tabs on me...I mean, it's...just a lil' creepy and stalkerish..."
"Yeah, I suppose," Remy agreed, "maybe good t' cut that one loose..." he admitted, although his expression showed the worry that she just may take him seriously.
"So it...is a date?" Bobby asked, sounding amused. "You're going on a date together."
"We're going to a dance together as friends," Rogue stated calmly. Yes, that was how it would work, she looked at Remy and tried to somehow subtly give him the warning that that was how it was going to seem. That first, it would look that way. It would have to have an illusion of them falling for each other or it would draw far too much attention.
Rogue was certain she heard one of the kids mumbling "not like it could be anything else,". The comment made her pause. Was it Tabitha who'd said it? It'd been hard to tell with all the commotion.
Remy turned around and looked at them all in the back, Rogue felt there was something dark and slightly warning about the way he did so. It left her slightly concerned, what was wrong with him?
Remy stared at himself in the mirror of his room, he held onto the dresser. "Marie...chere..." he said quietly under his breath, rehearsing exactly how he would say it, "there's somethin' I need t' tell you..."
He imagined she'd stare at him with those big green eyes of hers, blank and slightly worried. She'd ask what it was.
He pursed his lips for a moment, thinking. "Okay, uhm...how do I say it? I...did what y' wanted me t' do...I went t' therapy...and she thinks...yeah...she said I should...tell y' about it...about the fact I see a ghost, about the fact the ghost attacks me...hurts me..."
Sighing deeply, he shook his head at himself, it sounded ludicrous.
"Y' don' think she's gon' believe that, do y'?" laughed Jean-Luc. "She's gon' look at y' like y' gon' lost y' damn mind. And maybe y' have. Y' know what that so called 'psychiatrist' writes about y'? That y' delusional...that y' a schizophrenic, that y' need t' be on drugs, or maybe that y' already are."
"Shut up," Remy muttered.
"Only a matter o' time before she puts y' in a damn basket-weavin' hospital, y' can sleep at night in a lil' padded cell...right where y' belong."
"Shut up!" Remy snapped coldly, he glanced at the reflection of Jean-Luc...he was a zombie now, peeling flesh, eyes barely constituting as such, barely any hair left on his head, his lips had frayed and decayed so much that his teeth were bared in a permanent grin.
"All them years I wasted...trainin' y', teachin' y' discipline and how t' survive...so y' coul' come here, and play high school in wit' a bunch of fifteen year olds...waste o' my time...waste o' fuckin' space, that's all y' ever were. Even here...they got y' hangin' on a thread 'cause they got no idea what t' do wit' y'...y' got no potential...y' goin' nowhere here..."
"Shut up!" Remy demanded of him, he grabbed a pair of scissors from the dresser that he'd been using to fix some of the hairs on his head which the hair trimmer had missed at school, he swung it towards the vision of Jean-Luc but the thing disappeared before he even managed to reach it.
"Remy?"
It was as he heard Rogue's voice he felt a sharp sudden stinging pain along his bare forearm, and he gasped a little in response, he turned to look at her first, seeing her standing there at the door with a rather confused look on her beautiful face. Her eyes dropped.
"Oh my god, Remy!" she gasped; he saw her grab where he'd hung his towel from his morning shower on the radiator and she rushed towards him, pushing it against his arm; it wasn't until she'd done so he saw the blood seeping down the fingers of his left hand.
"I..."
"What did you do?!" she demanded, her voice so high pitched he was certain perhaps only dogs might hear her. He helplessly looked at her, he hadn't done anything. He watched as she confusedly yanked the scissors from his hand and threw them to the floor, "why?!"
"I...I didn'..." he managed weakly.
She raised the towel from his arm, examining the damage, there was a gash across his forearm, it wasn't too deep but it was certainly bleeding enough.
"Why would you hurt yourself?"
"I...didn'..." he managed again. Jean-Luc...he did it, he tried to say, only the words wouldn't come out. "My...hand slipped...I..." he shifted, the tag on the back of his t-shirt brushed against his neck, it was rather rough and had been bothering him all day. Right then he knew he had his excuse. "I...was tryin' t' get the tag out of the shirt wit' out takin' it off...and my hand slipped..."
"Christ, are you crazy? You could have stabbed yourself in the neck, you idiot!"
"Sorry..." he replied in a voice so tiny he barely heard himself.
"Come on, lets go to the sick bay and clean this up..."
He let her lead the way, his heart was pounding anxiously in his chest, he wasn't sure Hank was likely to believe this story. He was certain the Professor was definitely not going to believe it. Luckily, Hank wasn't even in the sick bay.
"Fuck..." said Rogue, looking around the room as she held the towel hard to Remy's arm, "Ah guess he's not back from that supply run yet..."
"Supply run?" he asked. A surge of panic hit him. Had he noticed how much of the cough syrup had gone? During the week he'd replaced those bottles to be sure he wouldn't be caught. Surely it hadn't been noticed...
"Ah don't know, he said somethin' about needin' batteries and a couple of circuit boards," Rogue pulled him towards the nearest bed and made him sit.
"What for?" he queried, hoping to somehow deter from what had happened.
"God, does it matter?" she almost snapped, she paused and tried to calm herself, "look just...just...hold this, Ah'll go find some bandages..."
Remy sat quietly, he raised the towel a little to examine the damage while she busied herself finding something to clean the wound. It was a slightly ragged cut, would she even believe the scissors had done it? He wasn't sure he would have in the same circumstances.
He watched her raking through things, almost knocking over boxes of bandaids and bottles of emetics to try and find bandages. "God, he's rearranged everything! Damn it..."
Why has he rearranged everythin'? Am I bein' paranoid?
"Calm down..." Remy tried gently, "It's jus' a little cut..."
"What if it wasn't?" Rogue asked sharply, she located a bottle of antiseptic, some swabs and a few bandages, she came with them tucked in her arm, her expression determined, "what if you'd gone for the wrist?"
"F' the..." he started, he had to try and compose himself. Jean-Luc was lurking near the doorway.
"F' the wrist, now that woul' have been interestin'," the ghost decided smugly.
Remy took a breath, "Look, this was an accident."
"Was it?" she asked, her expression hurt and suspicious.
"Chere..." he said softly, "Why woul' I do somethin' stupid like that?"
"Y' do plenty of other stupid things, what's one more?" Jean-Luc asked.
"I ain' suicidal..." Remy stated coolly, trying to ignore the ghost.
"Ah know you're not...Ah just..." she took his arm and pulled it towards her, removing the towel and examining the wound, the bleeding was already beginning to slow.
"An' I don' self harm," he added carefully, "less y' coun' cigarettes..."
Rogue spilled a little of the antiseptic straight on to the wound, her hands were shaking a little, Remy winced, both at the intense stinging and the thought of her anxiety over this.
"Hey..." he put his right hand on her sleeved arm gently and squeezed, "I'm fine...the bleedin' is already startin' t' stop..."
Rogue patted a swab down on the long thin wound gently, her eyes a little glassy. He saw the threat of tears, the sight of his blood had startled her. No...more than startled...frightened. She believed this was no accident, he almost admired her for sensing it wasn't. It was just a pity she couldn't sense more, couldn't sense the presence of Jean-Luc nearby.
"Why woul' y' think I would hurt myself?" he asked in a low voice.
"You..." she cleaned the wound carefully, her touch was so tender that he barely felt it, "you've been different this past few months...and...Ah know you've been goin' through this...stuff...the stuff you won't tell me about..."
"But I ain' suicidal..." he put in.
"Ah know that...Ah know that," she shook her head at herself and sigh, "but you have these...bruises. You tear your hair out..."
"I do not tear my hair out," Remy frowned at her, "and these bruises...that's from the Danger Room..."
"Remy, your hair is growin' in and Ah can see the patches where it's been yanked out..."
"I didn' pull my hair out," he reiterated. He did, Remy wished he could say.
"Sugar..." she licked her lips nervously, "It's okay to say it...lyin' about it is just...avoidin' things more. You don't have to lie to me...you said for better or worse...remember?" she glanced nervously to the door, she didn't even see Jean-Luc there. She saw nothing...which was all she hoped to see.
"I remember."
"It didn't just mean you have to take me at my best or my worst..." she explained, "It meant you're supposed to let me take you for your best or your worst..."
"If I get t' my worst...I'll let y' know," he assured, he gazed down, watching the blood, "Y' look a little squeamish...didn' think y' would be so iffy about blood..."
"Ah'm not...it's just..." she gave a small sigh, "it's your blood...and Ah don't like seein' it leakin' out like an overturned milk carton...it's not like Ah can put it back in."
"Guess not," he mused, watching as she put a dressing on the wound and began bandaging it up.
"Ah guess it doesn't even faze you...you've had worse..." Rogue supposed with a sigh, wrapping the bandage carefully, "Ah'm sure you bled real bad when you fell on that scaffold and caught your self on it."
Remy winced, "yeah."
"Oh...ho ho," Jean-Luc laughed, "Hah! Y' ain' even tol' her about that, have y'?"
Shut up, Remy thought angrily.
"Had to have hurt."
"Yeah...pain was enough t' make me throw up," Remy watched as she carefully used a safety pin to secure the bandage.
"She ain' even seen that scar, has she? Y' ain' given her a proper look...'cause if y' had she'd know y' lyin' through y' back teeth."
"You never told me the story of how that happened," Rogue admitted, she began clearing the bloody swabs and the antiseptic away.
"I fell on a scaffold...slipped. Like I said."
"What were you doing on a scaffold?"
"Climbin' up a wall, I guess."
"You guess?"
"T' get t' some loot."
"What loot?"
Remy racked his brain, at that moment, for some reason all he could think about was the Professor's tea set. "Limoge tea-set...really rare one. Client was heart-set on it."
"How old were you?"
"Fourteen," Jean-Luc answered, although Rogue would never hear him.
Remy tried to ignore his voice, it was impossible. "Fourteen," he answered. He was sure he'd told her this before.
"You were fourteen and doing heists at that age?"
"I was small and skinny at fourteen, easy t' get int' real small windows and narrow passages...didn' have much choice in the matter."
"Oh."
"Wasn' 'til I was fifteen puberty started really kickin' in...I guess I was a late bloomer. Always looked young f' my age 'til I hit sixteen...then everyone tol' me I looked twenty...so I always let them think I was..."
"Ah once heard Hank say that sometimes boys who are mutants tend to develop a little later than boys who aren't...he said there was a link between the puberty and the x-gene kickin' in. X-gene seems to kick in with boys a lot younger than it does with girls..." Rogue explained, she tossed the bloodied swabs in the trash, "And your eyes were that way from a kid, right? From birth? So maybe your mutation kicked in even earlier...maybe that's why you were small."
"Maybe y' were jus' the runt of some freaks litter," Jean-Luc reasoned.
"Maybe," Remy responded, more to Rogue than to Jean-Luc, although secretly he had to wonder if Jean-Luc was right.
"You're tall and strong now," Rogue stared down at her suede gloves, they were bloodstained unfortunately, "Ah guess these are for the dumpster."
"You could have them cleaned at a drycleaners," he suggested. "Or maybe Hank has some kind of chemical solution around...I mean, the leather uniforms get cleaned here, mus' be somethin' f' suede."
"Ah think they're done for," she peeled them off and tossed them into the trash with a sigh, "Ah don't know why Ah even keep buyin' suede. It always gets ruined."
"Occupational hazard when y' a mutant that needs t' wear gloves all the time, I guess," Remy stared down at her bare pale fingers, her skin was so perfect and flawless. He spied her rings; she still wore them, and the sight of it made his heart soar a little.
He wished that things were different, that he could touch those hands. He'd taken the touch of skin upon skin for granted so much during his teenage life, and it seemed so ironic that now he was in a position to appreciate it, he never could. The kiss of her lips, the touch of her fingers, the stroke of flesh brushing against flesh...all things he was certain he may never feel with her. He'd accepted these things when he'd realised his feelings for her, had made peace with the fact that things may never change in this regard.
It still didn't make it any the less frustrating all the same. It was especially frustrating when someone would even touch his bare arm with a bare hand. He tried to numb himself to touch, tried to somehow desensitise himself to the feel of skin so that he'd never have to feel guilty or envious of even the simplest thing he couldn't have with his wife.
He looked at his bandaged arm, wondering how he would have managed to hide this had Rogue not walked into catch him with his arm bleeding. How would he have explained it off? For that matter, why had she even been coming into the room at all?
"Hey...when y' walked int' my room...was y' after somethin'?" he asked, standing up slowly.
"Oh...Yeah..." she said distractedly, she put her hands in the pocket of her hooded sweatshirt, he decided this was mostly to hide her rings, "It's...about Halloween."
"Y' ain' gone and changed y' mind again, have y'?" he asked.
"No...nothin' like that," she promised, she glanced towards the door uneasily for a moment, "it's just...Ah wanted to be sure you understand the rules."
"The rules?"
"We're goin' together, but...no obviousness, okay? You said you can play it innocently...so it looks like it's happen natural and stuff...just don't make it look sudden. It'll be suspicious..."
"So this is it? We can come out?" he asked, "No more hidin'?"
"As long as you don't overstep...don't get obvious about stuff," she nodded.
"I won' be," he assured, "we got t' be careful...y' know that. We can't hurt Tabitha..."
"You two," Rogue sighed, "thick as thieves...Ah don't know what it is about her that makes you give a shit so much..."
"I get her," Remy shrugged, "she's got a shitty background, and it sucks. Y' know that. It's like y' said. Thick as Thieves. We're both thieves."
Rogue raised an eyebrow, "just as long as you don't let her steal you."
"Absolutely not."
"'Cause Ah won't hesitate to make your right plum match the left."
"Knowin' y' weak ass, y' probably let her, too."
Remy drew his breath, ignoring the ghost's sneer. "Don' worry, cherie, it took far too long f' me t' get t' this point f' me t' screw it up by somethin' stupid like that..."
"We'll see," she teased.
Rogue had barely stepped into her room when she felt the oddest sensation of not being alone. The feeling made the back of her neck prickle, she stood there for a moment, knowing she was not alone.
She turned towards her open closet, realising suddenly that Tabitha Smith was standing there, curiously going through her clothes, moving hangers and checking out the blouses Remy had bought her in St. Tropez. The girl herself seemed to stop and look at them, and Rogue sensed even Tabitha knew they weren't her usual style.
"Tabitha..." Rogue stared at her, feeling slightly violated about the intrusion. What was it with this girl and going through peoples things, taking them. "Is...there something you're looking for?"
"I have to say," Tabitha began, not even startled with being caught in the act, she shifted the hangers along the rail, checking each blouse critically, "You really, really surprised me."
"Ah...surprised you?" Rogue asked, folding her arms and staring at the girl in disbelief.
"I never pegged you as a fast worker, Rogue," Tabitha looked over her shoulder at Rogue, there was a slight flicker of subdued anger in her pretty turquoise eyes.
"Ah don't know what you're talkin' about," Rogue put simply.
"You," Tabitha accused. "You didn't even give him five minutes to grieve over the break down of his marriage and you jumped on the chance to ask him out. It was really insensitive."
"Insensitive," Rogue repeated, quite surprised that Tabitha even thought this at all. Rogue had never assumed Tabitha really thought of things like insensitivity considering she had a tendency to open her mouth often with insensitive comments more frequently than not.
"You were like a fucking vulture waiting for the lion to leave the carcass."
"Excuse me?" Rogue blinked. She couldn't quite get her head around what she was being accused of here.
"Didn't even give him a little while to get over he was dumped," Tabitha spat, "and then you go rushing to ask him out...you knew he'd accept because he was vulnerable. You took advantage of the situation."
"You think that's what Ah'm doin'?" Rogue almost laughed, "You think Ah'm takin' advantage?"
"You warned me off of him, said he wasn't for dating, said he loved his wife. What was that, you protecting your interests?" Tabitha demanded. "God, I was so naïve...I thought you were supposed to be his friend. Jesus, all this time you've been shadowing him and trying to make sure no one else could have him. And I thought, you know, gee, she's really protecting him so he doesn't screw up his marriage...or she's like...I don't know, looking out for his wife who she's clearly friends with. That's how good she is to her friends!"
Rogue rolled her eyes at this, she couldn't help herself.
"But no...that's not what it was. You were monopolising all his time...not to protect him, not because you were his friend, but because you wanted him!"
"That's not true," Rogue frowned.
"And you, you're likely to break his heart just as bad as she did! You've taken him from one fucked up relationship right into another!"
"All Ah did was ask him to a dance..." Rogue tried helplessly.
"Yeah, and with him being vulnerable and being so nuts about how awesome you are, and how much he owes you for whatever it was you did for him when you guys were gone...of course he'd say yes..." Tabitha growled, "now he's going to go get himself feelings because he's so hurt and then he's back in the same boat. He couldn't be with this...this Marie he talked about...and now he won't be able to be with you. You think that's fair? Asking him to be in a relationship like that?!"
"Ah...didn't ask him to be in a relationship..." Rogue managed, she ran her hand frustratedly through her hair. "Ah...Ah never asked him...ever."
It was true, she supposed. There wasn't an instance she could remember during their relationship that she could remember ever asking him to love her, or to be with her. He'd been the one who had initiated the relationship, not her.
"Oh please! You did the same with with Scott, you hung around him all the time waiting for the opportunity – it just never came."
"Tabitha..." Rogue tried to get a grip on the situation. How was she supposed to put through that this was supposed to be just friends going to a dance, that it was supposed to mean nothing? It did mean something, it meant something to her, it meant everything to him.
Remy would want her to explain everything but she just couldn't. She couldn't tell her the truth, because now she was certain Tabitha would get out of control angry about it. If she was this mad about what was supposed to be an innocent date, how would she take it if she learned they were really married?
"You deliberately jumped on him because you knew how I feel about him!" the blonde suddenly accused.
Rogue looked away, trying to calm herself. "I didn't jump-"
"You know how I feel about him! You know I would have given it time, then maybe something would have worked out! But you didn't even want to let Remy decide, you just jumped on at the first opportunity! You're like some kind of crazy stalker, Rogue! Every day at school, you barely leave his side, and when we're in the danger room, you're in the annex watching him...I see you creeping around when we're training with Logan in the dojo. You keep tabs on him. I thought you were looking out for him, but now I get it, you're obsessed!"
"You're so off the mark," Rogue rolled her eyes. Ah don't stalk him, Ah have to keep an eye on him because he's a risk of goin' off the rails...someone has to look out for him, there's a difference.
"And what's worse...you treat him like...some kind of idiot..." Tabitha shook her head in disgust. "He idolises you...he thinks you're great...and you, you treat him like an inconvenience. Part of me isn't even sure you even like him that way, you just don't want anyone else to have him because it'll compromise his friendship with you."
"Not true," Rogue hissed.
"Whatever..." Tabitha rolled her eyes.
Rogue swept her hand through her hair, she felt exhausted with this drama. She'd had quite enough of it.
"You accused me of being some kind of...I don't know, some kind of gold digger," Tabitha grabbed a blouse from the rail, "these blouses...they're Chanel. Since when can you afford Chanel?! Who bought you them?You have an eighty dollar bottle of perfume on your dresser, who paid for it? You have a pair of Dior stilettos in here...how did you afford those? Where did you buy them? How much were they?"
Rogue looked away, her temperature rising with anger and humiliation. "Ah don't know..."
"And why don't you know?" Tabitha asked, laughing darkly, "'cause he bought you them. Just like he spent a fortune on all that make up for you...just like he pays your phone bill..."
"Ah never asked for any of those things!" Rogue spat angrily.
"And I did?!" Tabitha demanded.
"You didn't exactly turn any of it down!" Rogue frowned.
"And you did?" Tabitha grabbed a blouse from the hanger and held it up pointedly, "you didn't turn this down, didn't turn the phone down...you kept it all."
Rogue sighed, she had nothing to say.
"You're materialistic, just like you say I am."
"No..." Rogue shook her head, "Ah don't care."
"Right."
"Take the lot if you like it so much," Rogue moved past her and tore the items away from the hangers, throwing them at her, "keep them! Ah don't care about designer clothes or stiletto shoes!"
Tabitha stood, one of the blouses hanging from her shoulder, the other in a navy puddle around her feet. "Keep them. I don't want anything that he bought for you," she sneered, throwing the blouse off of her, dropping the other blouse from her fingers to the floor. "And just remember, Rogue..." she headed towards the door, "just because he's going to a dance with you...doesn't mean he's yours."
The door was slammed behind the blonde, Rogue blinked a little. She couldn't believe the argument had even happened.
Whatever, she thought, Ah'm really gettin' tired of this.
The knock had come at his bedroom door unexpectedly, he'd been about to change for bed and had just pulled off his shirt (which was slightly stained with his blood) when he heard the three sharp taps. He almost called out for the person on the other side to step in before realising he'd pushed the wedge beneath the door.
"Always pushin' that wedge under the door in case Claws comes in t' see what y' got under those clothes, huh?" Jean-Luc asked with a chuckle, his voice dry, crackling like static electricity. "Y' think that door gon' stop someone like him?"
"Shut up," Remy mumbled under his breath quietly. He drew his breath, tried to ignore the stench of decay that followed the ghost, and he used his heel to drag the wooden wedge from under the door. As soon as he'd twisted the door knob and pulled the door towards him just a tad, the door burst open; he barely had time to register what was happening before he was being kissed.
It happened so fast, it almost knocked him over. He was confused and feeling sick from Jean-Luc's decay, the smell of sweet perfume (was that Rogue's perfume?) caught his senses and he tried to make sense of what was happening.
He pulled away swiftly, lips sticky with the residue of lipstick, he dropped his eyes to meet with the face of Tabitha, her blonde hair in soft curls framing her tan face, her incredible turquoise eyes stared back at him, her lips parted, her breathing a little heavy as if she'd run all the way.
The breathlessness was definitely not from the kiss.
"Tabitha..." he managed weakly, confused and reeling. She barely gave him time to say anything else...again she moved in, her kiss was hard, desperate, her hands pressed against his bare chest, fingers sliding down a little. For only a few brief seconds, he hesitated in resisting her; it had been so long since he'd felt anything quite that warm against his skin.
"F' months now y' been resistin' touchin' anyone...lettin' anyone touch y'...tryin' t' pretend like y' waitin' f' the hussy y' call a wife t' get control o' her powers. Y' know what it really is...y' been deprivin' y'self of all y' entitled t' as a red blooded man, son," Jean-Luc whispered near his ear.
For a moment it was like a spell. Tabitha was beautiful, she was warm and velvety soft, the way her bare arms brushed against his shoulders as she moved her arms up to embrace him...the way her hair felt as it brushed against his cheek. He'd forgotten about those simple delicate experiences...taken them for granted until he'd had to forgo them altogether.
Now having it...it was like being drunk, Tabitha was a beautiful blonde bottle of potent spirit, a few double shots, he'd forget about everything that bothered him for that moment. It had always been that way in the past, sex used to make so many things disappear from his thoughts. Tabitha was an intoxicating glass of passion that he had not experienced so fully in many months now, and like the first drink at a bar, he wasn't sure he could stop himself.
"That's it, son. Y' take what y' want, don' let anyone tell y' what y' can and can't have..." Jean-Luc chimed.
The memory of the last person he kissed on the lips came flooding back to him suddenly; it had been at Jean-Luc's funeral. Belladonna. The thought alone was enough to bring him quickly to his senses.
What am I doin'?! I can't go through this again, I can't risk it all, it took too long! I'm almost there. Jesus, I can't!
Swiftly, he pushed Tabitha away, she tumbled a little, her expression confused as she caught herself from falling by grabbing onto the wall.
"I can't..." he huffed.
"Remy..." she said breathlessly, her eyes full of rejection and hurt.
"Don' back off you idiot! You get back over t' her and show her what y' can do wit' a real woman!" Jean-Luc commanded.
"I can't..." he reiterated, he moved away from her, trying to find where he'd tossed the t-shirt he'd pulled off just before she'd entered the room.
"I know you like me..." she spoke up.
"I love my wife..." he managed, his voice weak, he tried to hide how hurt he felt that he was saying it despite what he had almost just let happen.
"She dumped you!" Tabitha said, "she hasn't been there for you for months, you've been alone this whole time, going through all this bullshit, needing someone. Her time is over, Remy. She made it clear where her priorities are...and you're not at the top of the list!"
"She ain' dumped me...she jus'...she's been...hard t' get close t'," Remy ran his hand across his short hair, the hair seemed to have prickled, he wonder if it was due to Jean-Luc's presence or because Tabitha's actions had left him feeling so incredibly uneasy. "I love her...end of."
"She hurt you!"
"I don' care."
"If you didn't care about her hurting you and still loved her, you wouldn't be going to the dance with Rogue," Tabitha frowned, "how do you think she's going to handle that?"
Remy snorted, "don' suppose she's gon' care too much..." he supposed. Seein' as Rogue is my wife, she can't be mad she's goin' wit' me t' the dance, can she?
"If you're trying to get back at her..."
"No...that's not it," Remy said.
"If you want to get back at her, move on," Tabitha frowned, "with someone who really cares..."
"She's right, son," said Jean-Luc, "y' shoul' go wit' the best offer, not the dregs."
"I wish y' all woul' jus' shut up!" Remy spat coldly, looking between them both, "everyone here...snappin' at me, tellin' me how t' live my fuckin' life...who I shoul' love, what I shoul' do, who I shoul' talk t', what clothes t' wear, or who I shoul' be keepin' secrets from or what my future shoul' be!" he swung his hand out towards the ghost, his arm sailed through it effortlessly, he felt the sting of cold though as he did.
"Remy..." Tabitha gaped at him.
"I've had it up t' here!" Remy snapped at her, "Y' jus' like everyone else, tryin' t' tell me what's best f' me. It ain' about what's best f' me, it's what's best f' you. Jus' like it was with him!"
"That's...not..."
"Get out!"
"At least talk to me about-"
Remy located his t-shirt finally and pulled it on, "fine, y' won' leave. I will."
"But..." Tabitha tried as he pushed her aside to leave the room. He didn't give her a chance to ask, he didn't have an answer for her. He wasn't sure where he was going, all he knew was he had to get out of this place.
END OF PART TWENTY-EIGHT
Apologies for being a little later with the mid-week update than usual...I haven't been well since Wednesday (a lot of sickness and twitching/muscle spasms, etc, fun and games).
As always thanks to those who take the time to review and keep me motivated in regards to the story, it really does help and it's always great knowing what's going on your thoughts.
Sorry to the reader who finds the story getting a bit repetitive. I honestly don't go out of my way to fill the chapters with petty arguments merely to take up space. This is how things come out when I write, I don't plot out a story from A to B to C (I know some of the plot, but I don't plot out how I'm getting there, etc). I look at a blank page and I start writing with no telling where it's going (as I've stated before, sometimes I go into a sort of state of 'Zen' when writing chapters and it feels like it writes itself for the most part. I realise I can't please everyone, I do try to make the chapters less angsty, etc, but I can't help the way it eventually comes out. I've tried my best, that's all really I can do.
Update on the progress of the story, I'm currently working on the last chapter (as it's gotten to about 32 pages long, it may be split in two, so the story should end up about 46 or 47 chapters (so quite a bit to go). Once I've finished the updates should probably come a lot quicker. Anyway, I'm going to back and lie down and try not to vomit (fucking Tramadol). Have a fab weekend all.