"Stop calling me."
"You haven't been answering my calls for 3 weeks, and all you have to say is "stop calling me?!"
"I mean it Yani, I told you before I left that we're done."
"We'll never be done baby, not as long as your wife won't give you what you need. I don't understand why she gets to have you when I'm obviously better."
"I will only say this one more time, lose my number."
"You can't mean that Huey, I need you. You don't mean that Huey, and I will prove it to you later tonight." I could hear tears in her voice. I hung up the phone. I should have never cheated; I should have just told Jazmine the truth.
…Jazmine…
"So is it working?"
"I think so, Cindy. I mean we still have a lot to work out, but we go to dinner, explore the wharfs and seaside; it's like we're falling in love all over again." I smiled while trying to buckle my heels. Cindy and I talk a few times, not too many because Dr. Reese wants us to spend all of our time working on our relationship, whether we are together, or not. Sometimes when I call X every night to tell him good night, I tell him to give the phone to Riley or Cindy.
"Well that's surprising, to say the least." I knew that tone. Cindy and Huey never got along, in her opinion I could do better, but I didn't want better; I wanted my husband.
"How's the baby quest going?" I quickly changed the subject.
"This boy is a rabbit! I am always exhausted because of him!" I can hear Riley laughing in the background. I figured he wouldn't give her a break, after two tours in Afghanistan; of course he would be insatiable.
"Like dying of sex would be a bad way to go."
"Girl, if anyone could murder like that, I wouldn't complain." Cindy chuckled. Huey came out of the bathroom buttoning up his maroon dress shirt. I cradled the phone using my shoulder and grabbed his tie.
"Hey Cin, I'll talk to you later."
"Ugh, fine! Blow me off for your hater,"
"Love you too Cindy." I giggled and hung up the phone.
"X is alright?" I glanced up and smiled, before continuing to tie his tie.
"He misses us, but Riley and Cindy are doing a good job; they'll make good parents." Huey grunted while I grabbed my purse and jacket. He grabbed his wallet and we walked out the door to go to dinner.
…
We decided to try a local seafood restaurant that I had seen when we first arrived. Amazingly, Huey had loosened up some and tried some vegetarian dishes at the different places we'd eaten at. He still refused to eat meat, but he wasn't so uptight about the ingredients while we were in Beach Haven, New Jersey.
The restaurant was cozy yet low profile. The food was delicious and hearty, meant to withstand the Atlantic breezes. I tried to convince Huey to try my shrimp dish but he firmly stood by whatever vegetarian dish he ordered…in a seafood restaurant.
"How's Tasha coping with out you?" We make light conversation, switching from new movie commercials, to my art gallery, neither wanting to upset the fragile balance that had settled over us.
"She can practically run the campaign by herself. She's honestly the most competent personal assistant turned campaign manager that I have worked with."
"Wow that's a huge testament to her skill, coming from you." I fought a smile as he glared at me. His lips broke out in a small smirk and I couldn't hold in my laughter. It's been a while since we could just eat and laugh like a couple.
"About your piece for the Museum of Art, what's the story behind it?" I glanced up quickly. Though he was fine with my desire to make a living via art, Huey never asked about it. Art wasn't one of his interests and so he would rarely ask about anything beyond the surface of my pieces. I normally painted emotions. I would use various hues and tints of a color and paint an abstract scene, or a face to describe it. For the museum piece I chose to focus on envy, using different shades of green to distort my own face into a jealous monster.
"Are you positive you want to hear the boring details behind my painting?" I gave him one last chance to avoid certain boredom.
"You used your face this time; I want to know what you were thinking." He set his napkin down and gave me his full attention. I felt heat rise to my cheeks, it'd been so long since Huey truly listened to me; I almost believed our marriage could return to how it was meant to be. Almost. Before I had a chance to begin a waiter knocked over a glass of water, spilling most of it onto Huey's lap. He sat up quickly, feeling the ice cold nip through his pressed khakis and into his unprepared thigh. The waiter apologized over and over, afraid he was going to lose his job. Huey assured him it was fine and went to the bathroom. I helped clean the water off the table and reassured the waiter and his boss that everything was fine, however the owner still insisted on paying for our meals. I graciously thanked him for his offer and resumed my seat. As I was wiping off Huey's cellphone, it began to vibrate, indicating that someone was calling him. Glancing at the screen I noticed this number had called him 5 times while we were at dinner. Normally I wouldn't have answered Huey's phone but this number had called him a lot, and I was going to tell them he was busy and would call when he had a chance.
"About time you answered baby, I'm tired of being ignored." A woman's upset voice rang through the phone before I had time to answer. I froze, how cliché was this? I mimicked Huey's grunt as best I could to keep the woman talking, hopefully she had the wrong number.
"Don't give me the silent treatment Huey, I know you miss me. I highly doubt the reason you haven't been answering is because your wife is keeping you so occupied." The woman sounded angry. Numbness over took my body; Huey had another woman. My stomach dropped and my heart felt as if someone was trying to tear it out of my body. How could he do this to me? I have given that man everything I had to offer, and it still wasn't good enough. Thousands of questions flew through my mind. Did he love her? How long has he been seeing her? Has X or I ever met her? Did she know we were in marriage counseling?
"Huey, you there? Don't you want to know what I'm wearing, or rather, not wearing?" Her voice changed to a deeper, huskier, timbre. I hung up the phone and was about placed it back on Huey's side, but curiosity ate at me. I knew I had to hurry before Huey came back. Something the woman said echoed through the numbing shut down; she said Huey had been ignoring her. I check his received and missed calls and crossed referenced them with the days we'd been in New Jersey, and sure enough she had called ever since we've been gone; some days she called more than once. I hated breaching his privacy, but desperate times called for desperate measures. I was about to go through his text messages but I heard the owner of the restaurant call his name. I glanced up to see Huey calmly speaking to the man, and quickly grabbed my napkin to make it appear as if I was simply wiping water off his phone. I exited to the main screen then set the phone back where Huey had placed it.
"Everything alright?" I asked him, surprised my voice did not quiver. Huey's wine eyes met mine as he took his seat and shoved his cell phone into his pocket.
"The owner offered to pay for the meal, but I told him it was unnecessary. It was an accident." He resumed eating as if nothing had happened, but I felt as if I was going to be sick. How could he sit there as if nothing had happened? He was cheating on me. I bit back tears of frustration and rage; I couldn't believe Cindy was right.
"That's a little surprising, normally you would have torn him a new one." I swallowed some water to keep the hesitance out of my voice. My hand tightened around the glass as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Normally I would have, but having a 5 year old definitely changes people." I tried not to laugh at the irony of that statement.
"Yes, yes it does." I wanted to crawl under a rock and never breathe again.
…
"You two are doing remarkably well, considering how you started your sessions." Dr. Reese's tone expressed genuine enthusiasm; he was truly impressed. Our month was almost over, we only had one session left after this one, and then we would go home and continue to work on our relationship by ourselves. The program was designed to show us how to revive our relationship in a month, but after that we had to do the work ourselves.
I had thought whatever Dr. Reese said to Huey in earlier sessions had been taken to heart. We've done things together in the three weeks we've been here that we haven't done in years. I thought we were finally going to be a loving couple again. But now I wonder if Huey was thinking of his mistress during our time here. Everything felt like a lie now; maybe it had always been a lie, and I was too stupid to see it. Maybe I didn't want to.
"Now let's address some of the…grittier details in your relationship. Jazmine, when you and Huey were intimate, were you satisfied?" My cheeks flamed, I knew we were going to talk about my sex life, I just didn't think Huey would be in the room.
"I don't see how that's any of your business." Huey stiffened a little at the question. My answer could be a huge ego bruiser for him.
"More times than not, I was satisfied." My voice quivered slightly. Huey turned to me slightly, but I could not meet his eyes.
"When you weren't satisfied, was there a specific reason?" Huey's grip tightened on his dark jeans. I continued to look at the ground while fussing with the hem of my slightly translucent green skirt.
"The dissatisfaction began after X was born. There were times, when he felt…distant, at best. It felt as if his mind was elsewhere."
"What would you do in situations like that?"
"I really feel like this is irrelevant, everyone has times when they aren't fully into sex." Huey tried to change the subject.
"But you were frequently distant after we had X." I finally looked at him. He was wearing his usual stoic mask but his eyes were different than usual. There was a glimpse of emotion there that only someone who had known Huey for a significant amount of time could see. I couldn't figure out what emotion it was, but he should be feeling shame. In the splint second I had seen it, it was gone.
"That's when we were starting to plan the campaign Jazmine." He said it as if it was the most obvious thing. He did not realize that that was also when he started staying at work later and later, that was when he started keeping a change of clothes with him, and that was probably when his mistress entered the picture.
"So, Huey, you're simply saying that you were more stressed than usual during those times."
"More or less." He grunted. I sat back into the couch and crossed my arms over my shoulder. This lying ass Negro had another thing coming.
"I hear sex is a great stress relief." I snidely remarked. Huey just grunted and shifted his eyes to the window. I sighed and looked back to Dr. Reese, waiting for his next question.
"Jazmine, have you ever faked an orgasm?" I blushed bright red. How the hell was this relevant?
"Umm, this is relevant how?" There are some things my husband is not supposed to know, just like how I'm not supposed to know about that thing he was sleeping with.
"It's relevant because we are going to talk about your "stressful" lives and its ability to affect your chemistry. Don't worry, Huey will be answering the same questions."
"Umm well, yes, I've faked an orgasm."
"Just one?" I glared at him; this was too personal. Huey's knuckles tightened slightly and his shoulders hunched before he forced them to relax.
"Okay more than one! Jesus do you want me to air all of my dirty laundry?" I grumbled.
"Yes Jazmine, that's the point of intensive couples' therapy." He chuckled. I seriously considered choking him on his obnoxious orange tie. I used my peripherals to try to see Huey's reaction, but he was looking out the window still.
"Why did you fake multiple orgasms Jazmine?" Oh for the love of God!
"Because my husband was too stressed to focus on making love to me; I wanted to get it over with and go to sleep." I looked down at my folded hands. Those were the lowest times in our marriage. If Huey came home at all, he would come into the bedroom, take his clothes off, and crawl on top of me. When he was done, he would roll over and just go to sleep. He made me feel like nothing more than a common whore. It was like I could be any woman, not his wife.
"Huey, any response?" He looked at me briefly then turned back to Dr. Reese.
"What am I supposed to say? There are times when I just need release."
"You made me feel like a whore! I don't need you to tell me you love me every time but goddamn it is cuddling too much to ask? Even during finals in college you never treated me like you do now in bed; you don't even say my name anymore. I bet you'd never treat your mistress like that!" Huey's eyes narrowed instantly, while Dr. Reese's widened.
"That's right, your mistress knew about me, and now I know about her." I stood up and glared down at him. He was going to pay for how he embarrassed me.
"Jazmine, please sit down and you and Huey can talk this out like reasonable people." I'm done being reasonable. "Huey, I'm sure all Jazmine wants to know is why?"
"Don't speak for Jazmine; Jazmine can speak for her damn self!" I screamed; if anyone was going to do any asking, it was going to be me.
"Reese, can you get out and let my wife and I settle this alone." Huey sat on the couch looking as cool as a cucumber but deep down I knew he was angry. Dr. Reese looked between the two of us and shook his head. He stood and walked out of the room.
"I'll have 911 on speed dial just in case." We waited for him to shut the door. Huey's shoulders dropped and he looked to the carpet.
"Jazmine,"
"Don't you Jazmine, me. How could you."
"Jazmine,"
"Were you ever going to tell me, or were you just going to keep fucking her until X turned 18 and then leave."
"Jazmine watch your mouth."
"Was the bitch at least good?"
"Jazmine, I said watch your damn mouth!" He stood up and grabbed my shoulders. We were at each other's throats. I could not believe he was defending his little tramp; I'm his wife goddamn it!
"Wow, you must really care about her, to put your hands on me." He released his grip and sank down into the couch, burying his head in his hands.
"Are you even sorry?" I spat at him with disgusted.
"Of course I am, I already broke it off with her." He grumbled. My eyes narrowed.
"Then why is she still calling you?" I wouldn't let my voice relinquish its furry. He glanced up at me and I glared harder. He shook his head and looked at the wall across from him.
"So that's how you knew. Yani's still upset; she thinks the only reason I told her we were done is because I'm here with you."
"And is that the only reason?"
"I told her that I needed to fix my marriage." He looked up at me like his words were supposed to appease me. I had never felt so much rage and anger.
"How long have you been sleeping with her?" If he was going to grovel enough, I needed to know the extent of his betrayal.
"On and off for 3 years."
"Why? Why would you do this to me? Wasn't I enough for you?" I could feel myself slipping into despair. I had to fight to cling to the anger, when all I really wanted was for him to hold me and promise he never wanted anyone besides me.
"Yani did things I couldn't ask you to do." He folded his hands under his chin and looked away. What things did he need that I wouldn't give?
"What did she do, that I couldn't?" I sat on the edge of the couch, bracing myself for the worst.
"It wasn't that you couldn't; I couldn't ask you."
"Damn it! Couldn't ask me what Huey?"
"To let me fuck you." I was shocked. My mouth gaped open like a fish. Huey had never said he had a problem with how we made love. I thought he enjoyed it. I feel so stupid; I didn't even know what my husband liked in bed.
"Jazmine, you never enjoyed when I was rough with you. You can lie and say you did but you and I both know those were the times when you weren't satisfied. You always wanted to be made love to and sometimes Jaz, I just want to fuck. I couldn't ask you to give me head, you kiss our son every morning and every night. I couldn't ask you to fuck me in a place X would be, like the kitchen or the living room."
"Why didn't you tell me instead of going to someone else?" My voice was starting to crack, I was so afraid to hear his answer.
"I was… concerned that you would say no. It didn't matter if someone else said no, but for you to say no, that's different." His deep maroon eyes searched mine, looking for any indication of what I would say.
"I'm so confused." I ran my hand through my curly locks.
"Jazmine, there were times when I just needed to let go. Times when I just wanted to pull your hair and pound into you. There were times when I wanted to fuck you so bad I didn't care if Rosalind saw us naked on the kitchen table. But ever since we had X, you wanted to go slow. That was fine; I thought we would go back to how we used to be, but even after 4 years now, you still shy away from me."
"I thought you liked when we went slow." I held onto my shoulders.
"Jazmine, don't act like this is your fault." He stood and walked towards me. "I should have told you, instead of being a coward and going somewhere else." He pulled me into his arms. I could hear generations of women screaming at me, but right now I just wanted my husband.
"Do you love her?" I bit my lip, ready for my heart to be broken.
"I thought I did." I drew away; I wanted to know if he was serious or not. "I thought Yani meant something to me, but once the sex was over there was nothing left. I told her I wasn't going to throw away 10 years of marriage, for a woman who only cared about what I could give her. I took for granted the best thing I have and I'm sorry Jazmine." He reached out for me but I stepped back.
"No, you took for granted the best thing you had." I grabbed my purse and walked out the door. I kept walking, not having a clue where I was going; I just knew I had to go.