Disclaimer: Mitsy: Thanks! And thanks for answering the question. Beast: Thank you! Yeah, FF has been doing that to me, too. Olih: ; w ; I love your reviews. Honestly. They're like little virtual packages of joy. Tri: What a detailed review! Thanks for giving it. I can really relate to your answers, actually. Rat: Thank you! *hugs* Crystal: Thank you! Actually, I got the idea for the escape rope from a picture of Red using it to hang himself- I would've posted the link, but I forgot where I saw it, ORZ. Evil: And I'd love to write one! I'll get to it eventually ; ) Rose: That's exactly the kind of reaction I wanted to elicit; thank you : ) Puppy: Thank you : ) Amphy: …I actually teared up while reading that. I know that there's no way to prove it to you, since the computer screen's in the way, but…wow. Thank you for that. I write solely for the purpose of getting reviews like yours.

Question: What question do you want me to ask? ; )

My Answer: I dunno, that's why I'm asking you.

Characters: Some funny NPC stuff.

Summary: Inspired by the 'Shit Men Say' articles in gossip magazines. To make up for the depressing chapter last time, here are some funny quotes ripped straight from the games.

Shit NPCs Say

"Hello," announces Odile, shuffling the papers in front of her with a smile, "and thank you all for tuning into Steven Watchers. Today, we are going to count down the top ten stupidest things non-playable characters have said in Pokemon games, as decided by yours truly. Take it away, Olih!"

Olihmajor starts the slideshow, and the two reporters watch it unfold, mouths at the ready to spew stinging remarks.

# 10: Rival in LG/FR.

'Smell ya later!'

"…Because that is so totally a saying- a very trendy one, at that. A saying that is so trendy, in fact, that you feel the overwhelming urge to overuse it. To. Death. Why not, 'See you later?' or 'Fight you later?' Why? Why couldn't you find something that a normal person would say, and then proceed to butcher it?"

# 9: Victory Road Random Dude in B/W.

'You can slide down the cliffs here!'

"That is just… wrong, on so many levels. Not only does he say that, but then he goes on to prove it. And then I find out that to get through Victory Road, I have to do it, too! Aren't there laws against this? It's not like I thought to pack a helmet and shin guards when I was kicked out of the house at ten years old!"

# 8: Eterna Forest Bug Catcher in D/P/P.

'I've spotted a rare pokemon!'

"Um, excuse me? I don't care if your Spidey senses are tingling or what, but if you really just mistook me for a pokemon then your face and my fist are going to 'battle'."

# 7: Rival in HG/SS.

'Why so serious? !'

"Okay, now, I know most of us here are a HG/SS rival fan of some kind- whether you love to ship him, love to hate him, or love to love him- but…hold up. I have seen The Dark Knight, and that, right there, is a Joker quote. And now I'm picturing the rival with that horrible face makeup. Oh Arceus, no- I promise never to kick another magikarp; just get that mental image out of my head!"

# 6: Prof. Oak in LG/ FR.

'I came when I heard you'd beat the Elite Four!'

"…Once upon a time, I would've thought nothing of that sentence. But, alas, my N-like innocence is gone. And now I feel like a pervert."

# 5: Pinwheel Forest Ranger in B/W.

'Breeeeeathe…haaah…

'Breeeeathe…haaah…'

"I was forced to learn CPR; can I help you? !"

# 4: Hiker Anthony in HG/SS.

'All right then! Be good!'

"No, I will not 'be good'. I'm an angst-ridden teenager living on my own: I'm going to troll the evil team of the region, pit animals against each other in the fantasy version of dog-fighting, and jump off cliffs like a badass. Who do you think you are, my father? Because if you are, then that would explain a lot."

# 3: Brock in HG/SS.

'Ah ha ha! It itches! It itches!'

"I'd offer to scratch it for you, but I don't exactly know what you're referring to, so…yeah. I'm just gonna leave. Like, now. Right now."

# 2: Arty in B/W.

'Snick! My switch was turned on!'

"…Ew."

# 1: Joey. You know the one.

'It's like my rattata is in the top percentage of rattata!'

"Oh, really? Is that so? Wow. I totally didn't know that, despite the fact that you phone me every hour, on the hour, to tell me."

The program ends, and, since Odile is too busy fuming about number ten still, Olihmajor takes it upon herself to bid everyone farewell. "Well, goodbye, everyone! And thanks for choosing Steven Watchers as your regular news network!"