BENEATH THE SURFACE

Part Thirty-Two

Rogue still felt nauseous that next morning, so much so that she was barely able to eat much of breakfast. She had been feeling far too sick already as it was and the thought of trying to keep anything down had prevented her from trying to eat more than a couple of spoonfuls of the oatmeal Kitty had prepared. In fact, Rogue was certain it was only making her feel more sick, as the stuff had a horrible texture and flavour and with every spoonful, she felt more and more on the verge of throwing up.

This morning, the Professor had made the effort to attend breakfast which wasn't his usual routine; mornings were the Professor's alone time, the time when he handled a lot of his correspondence and phone calls with more privacy than the rest of the day normally allowed. His attendance at the table generally meant the teens were well behaved and more civil to each other than they normally tended to be on weekend mornings.

Every now and then, despite nothing out of the ordinary was said and the morning discussions were rather casual and light, she couldn't help but feel that something was wrong. Hank and the Professor were sitting at opposite ends of the table, and occasionally she'd feel their eyes on her, as if they were studying her.

She'd tried to pretend like it was all in her head, but instinct told her differently.

"Are you not hungry?" Hank asked, gazing at Rogue's bowl of oatmeal which had been hardly even touched.

"Ah really don't dig oatmeal," Rogue responded, she rubbed the sweat from her brow, the room felt ridiculously warm despite the thermometer on the back wall indicated it was a rather chilly October morning. Her eyes caught the clock, it was almost ten thirty and Remy hadn't even shown.

She thought of mentioning, but she didn't even want to bring up his name right now. She was still angry with him; if anything the fact he most definitely seemed to be avoiding her was only making her angrier. She'd expected another attempt at reconciliation by now, but he hadn't even tried to contact her. Where was he?

"Yeah, it's kind of...gross," said Kurt, pushing it around his own bowl unhappily. "It looks like puke."

Rogue was immediately reminded of her throwing up on the Blackbird the day before, and she felt herself heave a little.

"Rogue? Are you all right?" asked Hank, his expression rather concerned.

"Ah'm fine," she pushed the bowl away, "Ah just really don't like this stuff. Sorry, Kitty."

"You guys wouldn't know good food if it bit you in the-" Kitty began, she was irritable herself this morning, Rogue couldn't help but think the girl might be having some PMS issues.

"Kitty," warned the Professor.

"Posterior," Kitty corrected herself brightly.

"Clever," Hank made a face at Kitty, then glanced back to Rogue, "Perhaps some toast..." he suggested, picking up the plate and offering her some.

To try and quieten him from picking on her eating habits, Rogue picked up a slice of toast and she tore a little piece off and chewed it. It didn't make her nausea feel any better, she found it hard to swallow without feeling sick. Rogue put the toast down, "what time are we training at?"

"Training is postponed today," the Professor replied.

"What?" Rogue sat forward a little, "why?"

Logan spoke up, "Ororo is programming a few new sessions and it's taking longer than expected," he replied.

"Couldn't she have done that after training?" Rogue asked. Right now, the thought of training had been the only thing keeping her going all morning. The thought of working out some of her frustration in the Danger Room had been the one good thing about getting out of bed today.

Rogue saw Hank and the Professor exchanging another glance. What was wrong with them today? Why did they look so worried?

Remy's done something, she realised. Her stomach churned with the thought of Remy having been back to his old tricks. What had he done now? Gone out and really got drunk this time? Stolen something? Broken into somewhere? Or had he slept with Tabitha for real and they had found out?

Stop it, she warned herself. Every thought made her feel more and more ill.

"You okay, Rogue?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah," she replied, "why?"

"You look a little hot is all, and it's freezing in here," Kurt shivered a little, "Your face is a little pink."

"This is a warm sweatshirt," she gestured to her fleece pyjama top which she hadn't even bothered changing out of. She hadn't even showered yet, she simply didn't feel up to it today, and had thought it pointless to shower before the Danger Room session she was supposed to have attended.

"I may need to borrow it," Kitty replied, "Kurt's right, it's freezing in here."

"Sorry," Hank said, "the heater is on the blink, I'm going to look at it after breakfast. I don't want to do it with everyone in here, it's difficult to concentrate with kids stepping all over you."

Rogue took off the fleece shirt and tossed it over to Kitty, "here," she said.

Kitty pulled the purple fleece zip up top on and turned the collar up a little, "I'll get it back to you on laundry day."

"No rush," Rogue scratched her bare arm absently, she was glad no one had sat next to her this morning, at least she didn't have to worry too much about hurting someone, she rarely ever sat around people wearing a short sleeved t-shirt.

"Where's Remy this morning?" Kurt asked, glancing around, "I don't think I've even seen him since yesterday."

"Think he went out for a jog," Logan remarked.

Rogue wondered if that were true. Remy had never struck her much as the jogging type. He usually preferred to spar although she knew from watching him he was exceptional when it came to parkour.

"Maybe I should have gone too," Jean said absently, she touched her stomach, "I've gained three pounds this month."

Rogue rolled her eyes. When you're like thirty pounds over like Tabitha is, then it's time to jog, she thought darkly. Her eyes fell to Tabitha, who had been sitting reading a magazine at the table. Normally such things weren't encouraged, but no one had bothered to say anything about it this morning to her. She was more quiet than usual, and that was the way Rogue preferred it.

Probably reading articles on 'how to please her man'. Not that she needs it, Ah'm sure, Rogue thought bitterly.

"You look fine," Amara said, yawning a little, "besides, it could just be water weight."

"I guess," Jean said, "I can't help but feel since I stopped playing soccer since leaving Bayville high that I'm getting very unhealthy. I eat more, I feel more tired...I don't have as much energy as I used to."

Rogue thought this was a bit of an exaggeration. How much energy did the girl possibly need? She went to college, she did charity work, she attended training, she helped train others. If the girl got any more energetic, she'd be like an Energizer Bunny plugged into a mains socket.

"Ah think Ah'm gonna go get dressed," Rogue decided, "since there's no training."

"Aren't you going to eat anything else?" the Professor asked curiously.

"No thanks," she took one quick sip of her coffee – which was now slightly too cold – and then went on her way to shower and change.

She was glad at least she didn't have to wait in line to get a shower. However, unfortunately the water wasn't all that warm and so she rushed the shower as quickly as she could and was shivering by the time she got out. After dressing, she pulled her hair into a ponytail (feeling far too lazy to blow-dry and style it) and decided to go find something somewhat constructive to do to keep her mind off of her heartbreak about Remy and Tabitha.

She paused as she got to the second landing where Remy's room was, and she wondered if he was there yet. Although she was in no mood to argue, she felt the urge to see him, even if it was just to ask him if he'd even had a think about the stupid thing he'd done. His door was open when she approached and she gazed in, he wasn't in his room, and it was all much the way he'd left it. Unmade mattress, yesterday's clothes on the floor, his iPhone was still plugged into the wall and charging.

If he was out joggin', wouldn't he have it with him to listen to music, or to time himself? She realised as she moved in and picked it up to glance at it. The time showed her it was almost eleven thirty. Surely he'd have been back by now?

Unable to help herself, Rogue removed her right glove and swept a finger to unlock the phone, wondering if she might find anything on his phone that would indicate just how guilty or not guilty he was. Would he have texts from Tabitha? Photos? Perhaps they'd been sexting each other for weeks.

Unless he's clever enough to delete all his messages immediately, she thought as she glanced down at the phone: she was dismayed to find it passworded, and unfortunately it was just yet another thing about Remy she didn't know.

When things are passworded, usually it means someone has somethin' to hide, she realised. Although it didn't mean too much, she was certain the phone had been passworded from the first moment she'd even seen him use it. She tried to remember the order in which he'd tapped in the numbers to unlock the thing, but couldn't quite pinpoint it.

Her eyes caught a silhouette by the door as she glanced towards the mirror on the dresser; Tabitha was standing there. The girl's face immediately flushed as she realised Rogue was within.

"What are you doing in here?" Tabitha asked, sounding almost offended at the idea of Rogue being in there.

"Ah was lookin' for Remy," Rogue replied with a frown.

"Yeah, so was I," Tabitha folded her arms, her expression slightly stubborn.

Rogue rolled her eyes inwardly, but she tried to keep herself composed, be the more mature out of the two. "He's not here."

"Yeah, I see that."

"Have you seen him?" Rogue asked, trying to hide her disgust with the girl.

"Not since last night when he got home."

"Home from where?" Rogue queried, fighting the urge to frown.

"I don't know, I don't keep up with his whereabouts," Tabitha stepped into the room, her eyes falling on all the items piled up in the corner. The clothes that Remy had bought her, the makeup items, the shoes. "You gave him it all back..."

"Ah didn't want any of it to begin with," Rogue swallowed back the urge to yell at the girl, she felt a little sick.

"Then why did he buy you it?"

"Because that's his way," Rogue responded. Rogue supposed it was his poor upbringing and his family who had instilled that kind of logic into Remy. The kind of logic that said money and items equalled affection or love. They had taken everything from him, and vague acknowledgement of it was as probably as close to affection as he'd ever gotten from it.

"What did he get out of it?"

Rogue had to wonder the same thing, and yet, the only thing she could find to say was probably not the best, "probably the same thing he got out what he bought you."

"He didn't get anything out of it," Tabitha frowned a little.

"No?" Rogue asked, raising an eyebrow, "Because Ah have it on good authority that you kissed him around the time he bought you all that shit."

"What, are you calling me a whore?" Tabitha dared.

"You said it, not me," Rogue uttered.

"I kissed him on the cheek and thanked him. Why? Did he tell you more happened? Because it didn't."

Rogue looked away, frowning, "that time, maybe."

"Let me guess, he caved and told you about the other night, right? Because he's a wuss and can't deal with his real feelings."

Rogue snorted as she tossed Remy's phone down to the mattress, "you know, you don't know what you're talking about. He deals with his feelings just fine."

"Oh yeah?" Tabitha blinked, "could have fooled me."

"What?"

"All he harps on about is how he loves this wife, this girl who keeps breaking his heart and leading him on," Tabitha rolled her eyes, "instead of just dealing with the fact that he could be happier if he moved on."

Rogue stared at her, wondering how true that was. Had he said that to her? He claimed to have said it before, and Tabitha had even alluded to it the first time he'd let her down. But had they spoken again about it? Had he let her down a second time? A third? How many times had Remy and Tabitha spoken about love to each other?

"What makes you think you could make him happier?" Rogue dared to ask.

"Because we get each other," Tabitha remarked, "we connect. He tells me things that he doesn't tell anyone else, really deep private stuff that no one else, not even you gets to know. I know he'd be happier with me."

All she could think of at that moment was if Remy and Tabitha were sleeping together. Her eyes fell upon the mattress, remembering the second time she herself had been fully intimate with him. It had been those same sheets (although she was certain they'd been since washed). Had Tabitha slept on those same sheets with him? Had they been intimate? How far had it gone?

Rogue couldn't help herself, and she'd blurted it before she realised what she was saying, "are you sleepin' with him?"

Tabitha blinked, and for the first time, Rogue could see that the girl was actually offended. Her turquoise eyes almost looked hurt, "I guess I deserve that, right? All the talk about how I screw guys at school, how I do shit with anyone who gives me attention. It was only bound to come up, right? I spend time with Remy so clearly I must be fucking him too."

Rogue folded her arms and tried to remain stoic, all the while inside her heart breaking at even the idea of it. Already, somehow inside she could feel she'd hit a nerve with Tabitha.

"Fuck you, Rogue," Tabitha spat, "what I do...what business is it of yours? What happens between Remy and I...is none of your concern."

Rogue watched the girl stomp out of the room, and she was surprised that the girl even slammed the door behind herself. Rogue winced a little, sickness building at the back of her throat.

God, can this day get any worse?

Remy felt incredibly groggy; it seemed to take a full hour to even work up the strength to open his eyes and when he did, he found himself in a very unfamiliar room. He wasn't even sure it could be classed as a room.

The four walls around him looked to be solid brushed steel, even the ceiling tiles, the floor, all steel. He shifted his gaze to where he was lying on a plastic mattress set upon a metal frame bolted to the wall. It should have been the last thing he thought of that Magneto would have definitely been at home in this cell.

Where am I? He wondered, trying to come to his senses. His limbs felt heavy and it took a moment or two for him to work up the strength to even lift an arm to rub his head and brush the sleep crusts from his eyes. On his bare arm, he saw dried cracked blood and a brief surge of panic shot through him that he might be bleeding.

And then, just like that, the night before came flooding back.

He had attacked Hank, he had attacked Logan. He had stabbed Logan with a letter opener...he had destroyed a computer, had seen Jean-Luc destroy a plasma television and had practically had to take the blame.

And worst of all...he'd been found guilty of stealing cough syrup.

It seemed so ridiculous that all of this was because of something so juvenile. He could have almost understood it had he been stealing Vicodin or morphine from the medical supplies (not that he had actually spied any), but cough syrup? It hadn't seemed all that dangerous or warranting of such accusation to him.

"You're finally awake."

Remy raised his eyes to where the door was, there was small hatch slatted with bars, and he could see Hank McCoy staring through at him.

"Awake..." he managed groggily, "Ain' exactly how I'd put it..." It took a minute for Remy to pull himself up into a sitting position, he felt stiff and sore and disorientated when he moved. "What the hell y' stick me wit' last night."

"A sedative...a fairly strong one," Hank replied, sounding quite regretful. "I wish it hadn't come to that, really I do and I'm incredibly sorry, but there was no choice in the matter. You were having a psychotic episode."

"Psychotic episode," Remy repeated. If he weren't so groggy and weighed down by the lingering effects of the sedatives, he may have laughed hysterically.

"You were liable to hurt yourself or someone else. In fact...you actually did. You punched me in the nose...and then there's Logan. You could have killed him had he not had his healing factor., I did what I had to."

Remy rubbed his head, "sorry 'bout that."

"Sorry doesn't give me an explanation, Remy."

How was he supposed to give an explanation to what had happened. Even in this groggy half-awake and confused state he knew how it looked. That he'd gone on a wild tangent because he'd been caught practically – in their eyes – doing drugs.

"What y' want me t' say?" snorted Remy.

"How about we start with why you reacted like that...why you lied to us."

"I never lied," Remy retorted, "I never lied once."

"You-"

"At no poin' in the last few weeks have I actually ever said I didn' take anythin' from y' all. I even came t' y', I asked f' medicine, y' tol' me t' take it."

"A dose, not a box," Hank frowned.

"I still didn' lie."

"All right," Hank responded carefully, staring through the hatch, "You withheld. It still doesn't excuse anything, nor does it give any explanation as to why..."

Remy fell silent, staring down at the steel floor tiles. He wondered how many people had ever been in here; he'd never even known this cell existed, never seen a door for it anywhere.

"The syrup is...codeine loaded, yes, but other than drowsiness and a slight buzz, I doubt you were getting much from it. Not enough to use recreationally."

"I wasn' usin' it recreationally," Remy retorted, "an' I never got so much as a buzz out o' it, it ain' strong enough f' that."

"Then-?"

"I needed it t' sleep," Remy replied, half truthfully. It also on occasion helped make Jean-Luc a little less...loud.

"To sleep? That's it? That's your excuse..." Hank seemed almost disappointed with this explanation.

"It ain' an excuse, it's the truth," Remy frowned. "I weren' sleepin', I couldn' function, I caught the damn cough, started takin' the stuff, foun' it helped, mystery solved. I weren' takin' it 'cause it made me feel things, I took it 'cause it helped wit' the cough. But it took masses o' it t' take the pain off of my throat, took masses o' it t' make me sleep. Ain' my fault if the stuff is weak as piss water in a creek."

"And what about your outburst last night?"

"What abou' it?" he asked tiredly.

"There was no reason for that kind of response. You were still using the syrup, you still had a vast amount of it your system, I'm not naïve enough to believe it could be withdrawals."

"I was tired. The stuff stopped workin' so the tiredness built up, what can I say?" Remy grunted, he felt so tired with this, "Y' ever been so tired y' jus' snapped?"

"So..." Hank said, sounding rather disbelieving, "You're telling me that your outburst was a result of your lack of sleep, and your mind suddenly snapping to the point where you are screaming at the top of your lungs, attacking your friends and apparently hallucinating?"

Remy didn't think it sounded all that far fetched. He'd heard that hallucinations did occur when people spent too many hours awake. It actually sounded more and more plausible an excuse the more and more he thought about it. God, thinking was such a strain right now. He had no energy to even sit up much longer let alone think logically any more.

"To be quite frank," Hank sighed, "I'm not accusing you of being a liar, Remy, but right now, I have no reason to trust your claim. You swung at me, you almost broke my nose, you stuck Logan in the shoulder with a rather sharp letter opener, you've been stealing from us for weeks. Right now, anything you say I may just have to take with a pinch of salt."

"Believe what y' like," Remy sighed, he lay back down, "I don' got the energy f' this."

See, Remy thought at himself dully as he lay back down upon the uncomfortable plastic mattress, exhaustion settling upon him. That's what happens when y' try t' be hones'...no one gives y' the benefit o' the doubt anyway...

Trying to push it out of his mind, he closed his eys and he felt himself begin to drift back into a very uneasy sleep after Hank's footsteps descended down the hall. Whatever the sedative was that Hank had given him last night, it still had it's claws in him, and he felt it pulling him a little, drawing him in and out of sleep with no concept of time passing.

When he opened his eyes, he noted a tray of food on the floor by the door, but he hadn't even heard the door open, nor heard the footsteps of whomever had put it there. He sighed and closed his eyes, too tired to even go get it. For now, he was almost thankful for how tired he felt, because Jean-Luc was nowhere to be seen and nowhere to be heard. If it's gon' be this silent...let them sedate me all they want.

After a short spell of sleep again, Remy heard distant voices, it sounded to be quite far away down the hall. He had to strain to hear them, he recognised them. One was Hank, and the other definitely belonged to the Professor.

"I have to say, Professor...I'm rather confused about it, if truth be said. I know she's not a little girl any more, but...still," Hank was saying, sounding rather worried.

"It has rather come as a very large shock. This was the last thing I expected."

"I have my suspicions about whom-" Hank began.

Professor Xavier interrupted, "Right now I don't think it's professional of us to gossip and make assumptions on a serious subject such as this."

Hank sighed, "you're right. I guess I'm just so very stunned."

"As am I."

"Have you told her yet?"

"No," the Professor replied, sounding tired and rather concerned, "I'm unsure how to broach the subject. This is an incredibly delicate situation."

"Perhaps it should come from me. I was the one running the tests, it'd make sense for me to be the first to approach her."

"No. I'm sure it coming from you would only upset her. There's personal circumstances which she may not feel like divulging to you. Quite frankly, I think it coming from you would make the entire thing far more devastating and humiliating."

"I see," Hank said with a sigh that echoed across the halls.

Remy focused on the voices. Whom were they talking about?

"I honestly believe she doesn't know yet."

"Surely she'd have considered it..." Hank suggested.

"Perhaps not. I'm not accusing the girl of being naïve, there may be certain symptoms that she simply hasn't become aware of yet...there may be things that were overlooked."

"If it hadn't been for the test I don't think any of us would have known," Hank admitted. "Poor kid."

"Right now, I think it's unfair to speak any more of it until she's been notified," the Professor decided felt his exhaustion weighing him down again, he closed his eyes and felt himself drifting until he heard the Professor mentioning his name. "Is Remy awake yet?"

"He was earlier, but he's been drifting in and out," Hank replied. "For the moment I think it 'd be advisable to let him sleep. He wasn't making a lot of sense last night, and this morning, he was still somewhat foggy and rather...questionable."

"Questionable?" the Professor queried.

"He claims to have been trouble sleeping, Professor. He said that the syrup was helping him rest, but...somehow it just doesn't quite add up to the vast amounts he was taking over the past few weeks. Something else is going on...I can feel it. When he was talking to me, I could hear the fear and lies in his voice. Something isn't right..." Hank paused, "last night...he was like a different person...frantic and wild-eyed. He switched, just suddenly...it was rather unsettling. And the things he screamed, they made no sense. Professor, is there something I should know about Remy? I know you welcome all who want to join our ranks but the circumstances he was brought here are shady at best, are you telling us everything?"

"I told you what I can, and for now that will have to do," Professor Xavier stated.

Remy listened, he'd expected the Professor to tell Hank everything right then, and it shocked him that he was keeping so calmly quiet about it all.

"If the boy is mentally ill-" Hank began.

"I don't believe Remy is mentally ill."

"Then what is the cause behind all of this?"

"Right now, only he can tell that, but for now it might be wise to encourage him to sleep it all off. In the meantime, I have some delicate matters to deal with."

Rogue felt the same strange sense of dread she always felt when the Professor had asked her to come to his office at two pm that Sunday afternoon. Two pm and she hadn't seen Remy, and she had the feeling she was about to be pulled over hot coals over implying that Tabitha had been fornicating with him.

That's what this is about, Rogue thought unhappily as she knocked upon the Professor's office door. She's run and told him, determined she's gonna get me in trouble, make it easy to make sure Ah get told to back off so she has better access to Remy.

The Professor invited her in and she stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

"What's up?" she asked, trying to sound upbeat, feeling nowhere close to it. She moved to the chair at the other side of his desk and sat opposite him.

"I'm sorry to pull you away from your Sunday," Professor Xavier admitted, "I thought you may about the results of your drug test."

Rogue stared across at him, feeling slightly perplexed. She was unsure what he meant by this, she'd told him the test would come up clean and she was positive it must have, otherwise he'd have sounded much angrier than he had when he'd politely asked her to come and see him.

"Ah...don't see the point," she confessed, crossing one leg over the other and leaning her arms on her knee, "Ah know it came up clean."

"Yes, of course," the Professor nodded, he opened his drawer and pulled two pieces of paper from within, he laid them down in front of her, "it was a rather perfect result other than one minor thing..." he supposed, "clean of everything from alcohol to drugs and nicotine, a very impressive test indeed."

Rogue glanced down at the papers, she didn't know how to read what she was looking at exactly. "So...what's the problem?"

"Do you see this number here?" the Professor took his fountain pen and tapped a line on the piece of paper with the end of the cap.

She leaned forward and read the numbers which followed the letters HCG. "Yeah..." she nodded.

"This is an unusually high number."

"What's HCG?" she asked.

"It stands for human chorionic gonadotrophin."

"That's a mouthful," she joked uneasily. "What's it mean?"

The Professor leaned back in his wheelchair, he put the pen down, "Tell me, Rogue. Have you been feeling unusually unwell for a while now?"

"Uhm...not really," she shrugged.

"You've been vomiting."

"Yeah, but that was just air sickness. And it's recent."

"Nothing else?"

"Maybe just a little nausea...it's been a few weeks but...it's fine. It's just stress and tiredness."

"You looked rather ill at breakfast...not to mention flushed," Professor Xavier explained, "tell me, Rogue, when was the last time you attended a doctor's appointment?"

Rogue frowned a little, trying to think, "uhm...in Louisiana Ah had to go to the doctors 'cause Ah accidentally broke my nose..."

"And nothing since? No medical examinations?"

"No," she answered.

"I think perhaps it's time you made an appointment with your doctor, for a full examination."

"Profesor...Ah'm fine."

"When was your last menstrual cycle?"

Rogue gaped at him, "Professor..." she gasped a little. What kind of question was that for a man to have?

"Please answer," he requested of her.

"Ah don't know, maybe three weeks ago."

"Was it a normal period?"

Rogue paused, "it...was a little...late maybe...just a short one, real light...Ah guess?" she gave an uneasy shrug. What did it have to do with anything? "It happens like that every so often. My doctor said it's 'cause Ah'm active...my periods have always been irregular and sort of light, Ah guess...dependin' on how much Ah train," she shrugged, "but Ah don't see what this has to do with anythin' about a drug test..."

"Rogue, this reading here...is rather high...and it indicates something is wrong that you really should be concerned about. You must make an appointment as soon as you can."

"Ah'm fine. Ah don't need an appointment, and Ah don't have time for one as it is."

"Please take my word on this, you must make an appointment."

Why was he being so cryptic? What had shown up? All kinds of scenarios began running through her young imagination. What if it was something like cancer? Some kind of terminal illness? The Professor didn't have that exceptionally worried look for no reason. At that moment, she found herself wondering...what if she was dying? What would happen? What would Remy do? What would he think? Would she even want him to know?

"Professor," she drew her breath, "If there's somethin' on that test...somethin' that means I'm sick or dyin'...you need to tell me..."

Professor Xavier seemed torn for a moment, his expression troubled as he stared down at his desk, she saw him trying to make the decision right then whether to tell her what was on his mind or not.

"Please..." she asked of him. She wondered at that moment if she were dying would it be wise to continue this squabble with Remy over Tabitha, or would it be wise to forgive him for his indiscretions to ease the heartache...to get over it simply because there was so little time left that it shouldn't be spent fighting...

"I have never disclosed this before with anyone outside of the staff here," Professor Xavier began with a sigh, "but I always have Hank run certain tests with female urine at the institute as a precaution."

Cancer, she thought in a panic. It's some kind of uterine cancer...

"This is the first time I've ever seen a reading this high."

Rogue swallowed. How long did she have left? Was this treatable? If she was ill she was going to need money for treatment, she was certain the Professor would pay but she didn't want that kind of financial burden to fall upon him, it wasn't his responsibility. Then there was Remy's money...but then, was it fair to burden him with that kind of medical expense? It wasn't together.

Would Ah lose my hair? She wondered, touching her hair absently as she thought of chemotherapy scenarios.

"It shows that you are pregnant."

Rogue dropped her eyes to the piece of paper, she gave an uncomfortable laugh. It wasn't the response she'd expected. She had expected him to say cancer. Somehow it might have been less devastating for it to be.

It seemed like all the air was just sucked right out of the room, everything seemed to go deadly silent. Even the clock on the mantle seemed to somehow stop it's obnoxiously loud ticking.

"Pregnant..." she repeated, her tone unsure, her voice quivering.

"Yes."

Impossible. The word played itself through her head over and over in those split seconds. It was impossible. There couldn't be a chance in hell that she could actually be pregnant. It had to be some kind of mistake.

"Ah can't be pregnant," Rogue pushed the pieces of paper away stubbornly, "it's a mistake...it has to be."

"It's no mistake. I've checked these results multiple times."

Yes, suddenly cancer seemed far better, suddenly she was already beginning to wish she were dead.

"You mixed up my results with someone else..." she said hopefully. "Maybe with Jean's or...or with Tabitha's..."

Yes, the likelihood this was a mistake, that was possible wasn't it? It seemed so much more believable.

"Tabitha is a likely person to be pregnant, Ah'm surprised she's not pregnant yet with the amount of screwin' around she gets up to!" she tried to hope desperately.

Professor Xavier frowned at the comment, "Rogue, there's no mistake. I even went as far as to check your vomit from the bag you left on the Blackbird which concluded the same thing. You are without question most definitely pregnant."

"Ah can't be..." She stammered. "It isn't possible."

"Rogue, whenever there is intimacy between a man and a woman who are both fertile, there is a very good chance that pregnancy can occur. I'm sure you must be aware...you took sexual education at school."

"Ah'm aware and...Ah know all the facts but..." Rogue replied helplessly, "but we were careful!"

"Rogue, I checked your medical records-"

"You hacked my personal medical records?" she gasped.

"I didn't hack them," the Professor frowned, "I was granted access to your medical records when I became your guardian..."

"So?" she asked, feeling a little offended at the idea of him reading her medical files.

"You're not being prescribed birth control of any kind."

Her face reddened, she looked away from the man, she felt hot and uneasy. "Oh."

I'm assuming the only care you and Remy take is in latex form, and I'm sure even you're aware that those have a certain rate of failure even when used properly."

Rogue stared down at the desk. Everything was coming crashing down. How could this be happening? In the space of a few days she'd gone from being happily married (despite some minor issues) to being single and pregnant. How was it possible? They had been so careful. Love making hadn't even been vigorous, and if the condoms had ever torn, she was sure she'd have known, she'd have felt his powers, his memories rampaging through her instead of his member. They'd only ever been that close to each other three times. Three? It had taken three times with protection to get pregnant? It made her wonder what the rate of failure exactly was for condoms if it had been this easy.

"We were so careful..." she said again, still locked in disbelief.

"Even with care, there can be factors that can cause a pregnancy. Latex isn't infallible. It can wear down with age, be prone to tearing, there can be imperfections...tiny punctures, perhaps it wasn't noticeable because your skin didn't touch but there may have been a tiny puncture in the reservoir, just enough for semen to seep through at the time of ejaculation..."

Rogue held her hand up to stop him from speaking, she didn't want him imagining the scenario in which it had happened, she didn't want that image right now in her own head let alone his. The language...god, when did this get so graphic? She'd tried to never think of the technical things when it came to intimacy with Remy. It had always been getting off, orgasm and pleasure for him. Now words like semen and ejaculation were stuck in her head. She wasn't sure she was going to find anything particularly erotic about it again.

Not that it mattered...they'd split, sex with him was very unlikely to occur again.

At that moment she wasn't sure what she was supposed to be feeling. She was lost and upset, she was in a realm of shock. It had never occurred to her this could happen to her. Rogue had always gotten by on the assumption she'd never have sex, the possibility of pregnancy had never for one moment been an issue because before Remy had shown any interest in her, sex had never been a possibility.

Other women would sit there with a certain degree of happiness. Pregnancy...being a mother, that was supposed to be a happy thing for most. The thought struck her like lightning. She was a mother!

Thoughts of what Remy had said in the car on the way to the Pizza place came slamming back to her. The exact way he'd said it, the tone, the unhappy look on his face when she'd taken her eyes from the road just a split second.

I never want to be a father.

What was she supposed to tell him now? How could she explain this?

"I hoped it would never come to the day when I would have to give news like this to any of my students," the Professor sighed.

"There's...no mistake about this?" she asked shakily. Was it too much to hope for?

"Our tests are infallible."

"There's no chance that if Ah go to my doctor...she's gonna tell me that it's wrong?" she hoped.

"All she will do is confirm our findings.

Rogue stared down at the desk blankly, "Ah...Ah don't know what to say..." she admitted, her eyes blurring with tears. She didn't know what she was supposed to do or how she was meant to handle this. She wasn't sure if she felt sad or angry that this had happened. Devastated? Yes, the word devastated certainly sounded about right.

"I know right now you must be in immense shock. Not only are you young, but I'm sure you've probably spent a good portion of your life believing that you'd be exempt from this dilemma because your power left you in condition that would be a factor in preventing such occurrences," the Professor said softly.

"Ah...Ah don't know what to do..." she whispered. "Ah...Ah never thought..."

"I know," the Professor assured gently. "I'd advise you make an appointment for your doctor as quickly as you can and be examined thoroughly. Then the options will be discussed with you from there."

"Options..." she stammered.

"The test tells us you're anywhere from six-to-eight weeks pregnant. I know right now the last thing you need is more distress, Rogue, but there is a certain deal of time sensitivity when it comes to this pregnancy..." he explained to her, his voice so tender, so careful. "The longer you wait, the fewer choices you have. Do you understand what is I am saying to you?"

Rogue lifted her eyes to him, she felt a tear spill down her cheek and she reached up to clumsily brush it away. She shook her head, right now it was hard to grasp the concept of anything that was going on.

"You know that no matter what choice you make, whatever you decide, the institute and the X-Men will be behind you one hundred percent. You will have our support and all you need for as long as you need and want it," he explained, "there are a few hard decisions, Rogue, and each of them has it's own set of problems and rules."

"Okay..." she managed, swallowing back the urge to sob. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation. She had never imagined herself having to have this conversation with anyone. "What...what are my options?" she asked, her voice dry, the words catching a little in her throat.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather discuss this with your doctor?"

Rogue thought of this, her doctor knew about her powers, but knew very little about her life, didn't know the full extent of her powers and her living arrangements. No one would be able to talk her through her options better than the Professor. "She wouldn't get it..."

"All right," the Professor agreed, he paused to think for a moment, "If you decide to go through with this pregnancy, your career with the X-Men will need to be immediately and effectively suspended first of all. I cannot and will not allow you to use the Danger Room. Nor will you ever go on the field while in this condition. Your high school education can and will continue, whether you decide to continue to attend high school or decide to work through a home schooling program."

Rogue drew a breath, none of these things sounded particularly appealing. To give up the X-Men? No training? No fieldwork? No missions?

An odd and unbelievable thought struck her at that moment out of nowhere. Would the baby look like Remy? Would it have his eyes?

"Right now, your career with the X-Men and the loss of your presence on the team isn't nearly as huge a concern compared to other issues."

Rogue tilted her head, staring at the Professor. She wished she could read his mind right then, she would have loved to know exactly how disappointed in her he was at that moment. "My powers..." she realised.

"Yes," he answered.

"You're worried Ah might...absorb it from the inside out?" she asked anxiously.

"It had occurred to me," he confessed, "But seeing as you've gotten as far along without any complications, I don't see why you shouldn't be able to carry this baby to term."

The word baby rang in her ears. There was a baby in this...in her. She put a hand against her stomach, feeling so incredibly sick and dizzy at the thought.

"The birth is what concerns me for the moment. Seeing as how you've been here for almost three years now and have still been unable to find a way to control your powers, it strikes me that it might be unlikely in the seven or eight months you may have left that you will be able to learn to control your powers enough for a natural birth."

Rogue swallowed hard, reality was swimming around her in waves. Thoughts of herself fat and heavy, waddling, trying to make sense of a life without Remy, him having bolted after finding out about her condition.

Ah can't tell him, she thought, trying to pay attention, trying to listen.

"There's always a small chance that the child may be just an extension of you and your powers until such time as birth, at least until the umbilical is cut..." he explained to her, "but that is still an assumption and risk I would not be willing to take."

Her thoughts drifted again, her lying on a hospital bed trying to give birth, the fear that halfway through her powers would kick in.

"We could of course opt for Caesarian section, but even then I'm unsure of how safe that birth would be. We are still so unsure if your powers are limited to your skin or extend to the muscle beneath. I'm sure you understand the risk involved should you decide that you wish to go through with this pregnancy."

Rogue dropped her eyes to the floor, "Ah...could kill the baby..."

"I'm sorry but that is a high probability, whether we would like to admit it or not," he shifted uncomfortably. She could see even he was extremely uncomfortable with the idea.

Rogue drew a breath, "what if Ah don't...what then?"

"Then we have to weigh the rest of your options, whether you want to continue being a mother once the child is born, or whether you would rather arrange for an adoption..."

Adoption. A child of hers and Remy's given to some family with no guarantee that child would ever have a happy life? What if the people who took that child were bad people? What if they lied to that child like Irene had lied to her, what if they hurt that child as Jean-Luc had hurt Remy?

She shook her head immediately, "no...Ah was an orphan...Remy was an orphan...Ah...Ah can't stand the thought of that."

"Then you would want to care for the child yourself..." the Professor said, taking a moment, "I'm sure you can see the complications and problems that this could bring."

"Ah...would never be able to touch my baby..."

It was a painful thought, her own child, with her hair and Remy's eyes staring up at her, reaching out for her...knowing she may never hold that child. May never kiss that tiny head, know the softness of the tiny cheeks. Another tear trickled down her cheek and she swept it away as clumsily as before.

"In such a case, Remy would need to be the main caregiver of your child, should this be the avenue you choose to go down."

Rogue shook her head, "Remy...he...he said he never wanted to be a father. Ah couldn't do that to him, Ah couldn't...make that decision and force him to live with it..." she sniffled. "What...what are my other options?"

"I'm sure you don't need me to tell you what you other option is, Rogue."

She closed her eyes and pursed her lips together. He didn't need to say it for her to know the answer. There was only one other option, a simple option that was still just as devastating and still as life changing as the first. Only at the end of it there was only emptiness. Rogue gave a nod, understanding.

"I do not expect you to make a decision like this immediately. This is a very hard situation for someone to face, especially someone with your unique situation."

Rogue sighed, "You all tried to warn me...tried to say we had to be careful...didn't want us messin' around. Now Ah guess Ah know why..."

"You had the right to your happiness, to your closeness," Professor Xavier assured, "It is just unfortunate that it happened to bring you to this point. I am extremely sorry, Rogue."

"You don't need to be sorry," she replied, "this...it's my own fault, my own fault for bein' stupid and...and teenage, and lettin' my feelin's get in the way of my decisions..." she frowned, slightly angry with herself.

"I still wish I didn't have to be the bearer of this news, I wish I was not the one to give you these choices. I never wanted to be the one to give you these choices..."

"What...should Ah do once Ah make up my mind?" she asked, sniffling back her emotions.

"When you feel ready, come to me and discuss it with me and together, we shall make the appropriate appointments, whether it be to make the right checks and decisions, or whether it be for..the other option."

Rogue nodded and she stood up slowly, she felt slightly shaky.

"Rogue..." the Professor said. "Please know that I am not forcing your hand in any direction. Whatever you decide to do is yours and Remy's decision."

Rogue shook her head, "Right now, Ah'd...Ah'd prefer it if you don't tell Remy anythin' about this."

"Very well," Professor Xavier replied, "until such times as you've made a decision, I will keep what I know to myself, and will tell Hank to do the same."

"Thank you, Professor..." she sighed, "for understanding."

Without another word , trembling, she left his office. She stood outside of the door for a moment, her back pressed against it, she closed her eyes and sighed deeply. What am Ah gonna do?

End of Part Thirty-Two

Dun dun DUNNNNNNN. Congrats to those who guessed. This really is the last update now because I'm going to settle to watch the next disc of Breaking Bad. Hope you all liked this chapter ;)