I was stalling, and X knew it. I had made up about a million excuses as to why we wouldn't be able to see Dane this week. In truth I hadn't even told Dane that X wanted to meet him already. I was too scared, and rightfully so; I didn't know Dane well enough myself to just bring my son around him. As Gin Rummy would say, "The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence". Dane could be an unconvicted molester for all I know. When I gave my explanation to Cindy on why I kept postponing my next date with Dane she completely agreed; seems beyond all that crazy, my girl had an ounce of common sense.
Laughing to myself, I continued cleaning the condo while listening to slow jams. For some reason oldies were good songs for me to clean to. Huey used to tease that cleaning put me in a sensual mood; I would respond by throwing a cleaning sponge at him. I barely heard the doorbell ring over Etta James' smooth and husky vocals.
"Huey." The smile dropped almost instantly from my face. 'Think of evil and it shall appear.' I thought.
"Nice to see you too, Jazmine." He stood for all the world looking like a Kennedy who owned Washington.
"I would say it's nice to see you, Freeman, but I'm more honest than you are." So I was being a little vindictive, but he ruined my good cleaning mood, and Lord knows it takes anyone a year's worth of motivation to get up and clean, which is why we pay Rosalind so well.
"I didn't come here to speak about my moral flaws, Jazmine; I came to talk about X." At the mention of our son I stepped out of the door way and let him in. Turning down my iPod, I grabbed a bottle of water for the both of us and sat down at the island counter.
"Is everything alright with him?"
"His teachers are growing more and more concerned about him. They said he's not speaking in class anymore, even when he's called on. He doesn't play during recess, just sits by himself and reads."
"Never thought we, or anyone else, would be complaining about a child reading." I tried to break the tension a little. X's behavior was starting to scare me. He had always been a reader and quiet like Huey, but he also enjoyed normal children things like Hide 'n' Seek, and swinging on the swings. It was a little unnerving to hear of his 180 but we both had a good idea of the cause.
"We need to talk to him."
"What do we tell him, Huey? Do we tell him that I want a divorce and you've suddenly forgotten how to write your name? Who takes the blame for this Huey, me or you?"
"It's not about blame Jazmine, we tell him that it just didn't work out."
"If you think he's stupid enough to believe that you have obviously no clue how perceptive he is!"
"I'm trying Jazmine, okay? I'm not perfect but I'm trying!"
"Too little too late, Freeman! Had you been trying a lot harder a lot sooner, we wouldn't be in this mess and you wouldn't be thinking about how to save your ass!"
"You think I'm just trying to save my ass? You really think that I don't care anything about the wellbeing of my son?"
"If you're not trying to save your ass then we should just tell him what kind of man you really are! Let's tell him how much of a selfish man-whore his father is, and pray to God that he becomes nothing like you!" Somehow in our argument we were chest to chest, rage burning in both of our eyes; both of our eyes searching the other for something more. If I wasn't so angry I would have laughed, Huey and I were always angered about something these days, always searching, hoping, wishing, for the other's armor to break. A few notes drifted through the room and his eyes instantly lit up in recognition, while I wanted to throw my iPod out the window. Fate must really have it out for me.
"You were cleaning when I got here." An amused smirk painted itself across his face while he sank on one hip.
"Of course I was, that's the only time I listen to old smooth jams." I rolled my eyes, annoyed at what I knew he was going to say.
"That's not true, not with this song."
"It's just a coincidence, Huey."
"No it's not, this is our song." He walked over to the iPod and restarted the song. Those 4 distinctive notes of Marvin Gaye's "Let's get it on" rang through the condo, followed by Huey's baritone singing the notes like he always did whenever our song played. I rolled my eyes and threw my finished water bottle in the recycling bin. I leaned slightly on the counter, annoyance showing on my face. Now was not the time to try to relive the past, not when our son needed us to help him understand his future.
Huey sauntered across the room slowly, still singing the lyrics to one of my favorite songs. His eyes lowered predatorily and he stalked towards me like a sleek jungle cat. A shiver of anticipation ran down my spine, and though every instinct in my body told me to run, a part of me whispered to stay. I listened to the stupider part of me, and by the smirk that graced his lips as he came behind me and pinned me to the counter, Huey knew it. I was trapped with my back to him as he swayed us back and forth to the slow tempo of the music. I felt strong hands, gentle but firm, clasp my hips and pull me closer to wall of muscled flesh pressing into me.
"Huey—"
"Shh." He licked his lips and traced them down my neck in unhurried leisure. One hand wrapped around my waist while the other trailed its way up my breast and pulled my hair away to give him better access to the sensitive skin of my nape. He pressed butterfly kisses up and down my neck, his fingers ghosting over the hardening peaks of my nipples; just enough for me to feel the heated pads of skin, but not enough to relieve the growing heat between my thighs. Each breath I took sounded more like a breathless moan.
I felt cool tile pressed against my butt and realized he had sat me on the island counter. Emerald met wine and I could see the desire swirling in his orbs through the curtain of hazing lust in mine. He removed my socks and grasped my left foot and began massaging slow circles into it. Alternating between soft, feather-light fluttering and deep circles, Huey languidly eased the tension from my body. He pressed a kiss on my toes and moved up to massaging my claves. After what felt like an hour, warm breath blew against my hip; the air worked its way down to my dewing core. I fought through the drugging hunger, trying to remember my surroundings, trying to remember when my panties had slid down my legs and dropped to the floor.
My body arched and my head fell back as a moan of pleasure echoed from my mouth. My body felt like it was drugged; my movements were heavy like molasses over low heat. My limbs felt like a thousand pounds and my eyelids, even heavier. I opened my eyes with all the laziness of a housecat and witnessed myself through the window over my sink. I barely recognized the woman sitting on the counter moaning wantonly as an impressive figure kneeled on their knees betwixt my thighs. I watched the chords of muscle tense and release on Huey's back. My mind registered that his flawless caramel skin was devoid of a shirt. I watched the couple in the window, my mind not processing that the woman being pleasure in the pane was me. The woman watched me, her mouth opening to let out husky sounds I didn't remember ever making. The woman's toes curled and her body arched as the man used his powerful arms to hold her hips down so he could continue to devour her. My hands raced to his cotton-soft afro. My fingers entangled themselves through the shiny curls.
"Wider." His sex-roughened voice commanded, and I obeyed. My legs spread wider and I leaned back against the counter as he pulled me closer to his mouth. The coolness of the tile shocked my senses and the rhythmic sound of his lapping pulled me deeper into the euphoric cloud of murky joyance. Sweet tension shocked me from the hypnosis, my muscles spasmed and clenched. Huey didn't stop until his tongue only felt like a numb buzz.
He lifted my boneless body and walked into my bedroom. I could faintly hear a smoky jazz saxophone floating through the apartment. Huey laid me down softly and I heard the rustle of khakis and the clang of his belt hitting the carpeted floor. Supporting my neck, he divested me of my shirt and bra. In a move that would make a panther proud he climbed on top of me and pressed his manly weight down on me, while lifting my arms above my head. He used one hand to subdue me while the other traced my curves in an unhurried, almost lazy motion. He tilted my chin up so that we made eye contact and smiled softly at me. His lips, laxed as a cloud, descended on mine and coaxed them to move with his. The kiss was nothing forceful and passionate; no it was much more of a caress. We were not fighting for dominance; we were complimenting each other. I felt his body respond to mine, and his erection was placed at my core. He stroked my dripping slit, coating himself, preparing for our coupling. He stopped and looked at me, searching my soul for what seemed like the answer to his life.
'If you want to say no, now is the time.' I could almost hear his voice belaying the message of his eyes. My brain wasn't working properly. It was still hung over from the intoxicating effect of watching him between my thighs. This was the time to reject him, to leave him miserable and kick him out, but I knew that would only leave me miserable as well. So I did what any woman would do with the finest specimen of man hovering over her; I lifted my hips to hip and invited him into me. A load groan flew from his lips. Sweat broke out on both of our foreheads. Neither spoke as my lips enclosed around his base. My breaths came in short pants as my body grew accustomed to him again. It felt like years before either of us had the strength to move, but when he did move, I felt the world shatter into millions of microscopic pieces. His name became a mantra on my tongue as he stroked inside me. Each stroke felt as if it touched my soul; his cadence was that of an ocean wave crashing into the sand. I fought for breath every time he stroked my g-spot. I fought against the invading blackness every time his skilled fingers randomly flicked that wonderfully sensitive bundle of nerves at the apex of my thighs. It took a while for me to recognize that under my desperate pleas of his name, Huey was not just grunting sexily above me; he was saying my name.
Huey was normally quiet during sex. Many times I had taken it personal; I thought he didn't enjoy having sex with me or the things I would try to please him. But after talking to Cindy, and reading Cosmo, I found out that many men didn't make a lot of noise. Cindy said Riley only made sounds when she did something he really loved, and even then it was not loud professions of pleasure. Instead of listening, Cindy watched. When Riley closed his eyes, puffed his chest out, or curled his toes, that was how Cindy gaged his enjoyment.
An intensely powerful thrust shattered my ability to think properly. My eyes shut and I threw my head back against the pillows. When I opened my eyes I saw spots dancing in the corners of my vision and Huey smirking lightly at me. He leaned down and gave me another world-altering kiss, never ceasing his tempo as he pleasured my body. I could feel the twine of my gut tightening again; my muscles were starting to spasm again and my toes clenched unbearably hard. Huey noticed the signs of my impending orgasm.
His protecting arms wrapped around me and he rolled us over so that I was on top of him. Strawberry blonde curls rained down over us like a waterfall, rippling with each movement we made. Huey stopped thrusting and ran his fingers through my hair, moving it clear out of his visage of my face. His hands rested motionlessly on my hips, not even clenching them.
"Set your own pace." He whispered to me and shifted under me to get more comfortable. Moving in tantalizing circles, I watched his face, evaluating the amount of pleasure I was bringing to him. 2 minutes was all he could take.
"Jazmine." He groaned through clenched teeth. His hands dug into my thighs, but he did not take control; he was practicing restraint, and I couldn't figure out why since he was the one to initiate this. I gave him a mischievous smile then rose ever so slowly and lowered myself just as slow. I continued the slow torture until he was practically begging, as much as Huey Freeman could, or would, beg.
"Did you want something?" I questioned him, tilting my head to the side in a gesture of false innocence. His grip on my thighs tightened until I was sure I'd have a bruise, but I didn't care; I was enjoying his torture, and the power.
"Ride me baby." He could barely whisper; his jaw was reddening from the force and pressure he put on it.
"Say please." He glared at me but I could tell he was holding back a smile.
"Little temptress, please."
"Please…what was it you wanted me to do?"
"Dear Lord Jazmine, ride me please!" I couldn't help but laugh at his frustration. I lifted my hips and slid down him, enveloping him deeper with each movement of my hips. His satisfied groan was my reward and my opened mouth sigh was his. His hands moved to my breast and waist, never staying still but never taking control over our tempo. He let me choose our speed. I grabbed his hands and placed them on my breasts. Feeling him squeeze them firmly caused me to throw my head back and ride frantically towards completion. I felt his eyes watch me as his hands work their way down to my waist. Huey steadied me the faster we went; his hips thrust up to meet mine, but he never forced me back down. Instead he guided my body, helped keep me upright. I felt his skilled fingers run themselves over that familiar bundle of nerves and I was done for. I didn't have a chance to resist him. A beautiful blanket of euphoria encircled me, and the room was bathed in a soft pink light that surrounded us. I felt the warmth of him rush through me. I heard him groan my name as he came up to me and kissed my neck that, with my head thrown back, was easily exposed to him. He fell back onto the mattress and I tumbled after him, the weight of my own body too much to support anymore. My kinky curls fell onto his shoulder and his arms wrapped around my back, holding me secure. He rolled us again, careful of my orange tresses and laid me on my back. His soft lips pressed against my cheeks and my eyelids and I finally realized I was crying.
"Don't cry baby, don't cry." He continued to kiss my tears until there were none left. He slid out of bed, pulled the covers up on me, and walked to the bathroom to clean himself off. Before long he was back under the covers nestling me into his side. His toned arm pulled me into him and rested on my waist. I ran my arms over his bicep, loving the warm protected feeling. He entwined our fingers together and kissed my shoulder before I turned to him and he kissed my lips in a languid, sated manner. It took mere moments for me to fall asleep in his arms.
A doorbell and banging at my door woke me from my peaceful slumber. Sleep still clouding my mind, my eyes trailed the arm that was holding me up to the body of my still sleeping husband. A smile graced my lips until I looked around me. I began to panic. I sat up quickly, throwing Huey's arm off me and hopped out of bed.
'Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!' My mind would not stop racing at my own stupidity. I ran into the bathroom and wiped the residue of our love making from the inside of my thighs, then came back to look at Huey, propped against my headboard as satisfied as a cat with cream.
"Hey." His voice was still laced with the huskiness of sleep. I blushed a little but a frown still showed on my face. The knocking persisted and I looked at the clock.
"Shit!" I ran to throw on some sweat clothes and threw his pants at him. "You have to leave, now!"
"Why?" He made no move to get out of the bed.
"I don't have time for this!" I ran out of the room and checked my living room to make sure it was as neat as it could be. I grabbed my discarded panties and shoved them deep into the couch until I would have time to put them in the dirty clothes hamper. Checking my appearance in the bathroom mirror, I whipped my hair into a messy bun, turned off the iPod, and went to open the door, but paused to throw Huey's shirt towards my bedroom. I finally opened the door.
"Hey! What are you doing here?" I asked Dane, a little puzzled to see him here when X would be arriving from playing at a friend's house soon.
"You asked me to meet you, remember?" Oh…yeah I had, hence the reason I was cleaning before Huey had shown up.
"Right I'm sorry I—" Before I could finish my explanation I felt the door open wider and muscles press against my back. I looked up to see Huey behind me, dressed thank God. Mortified I turned back to see Dane's reaction but he wasn't looking at me. Huey and Dane were staring at each other, each waiting for the other to back down. Huey's hand, conveniently displaying his wedding ring, found its way to my sternum, right under my breasts. A muscle in Dane's jaw twitched just a little bit.
"Representative." Dane respectfully bowed his head but the mocking tone was a clear warning that he wouldn't step down in their alpha dog showdown.
"Andrews." Dane's eyes widened just barely enough to tell that he was surprised that Huey knew who he was.
"I wasn't aware that we'd met before." Dane's eyes took on a frost ice blue appearance.
"We haven't," Huey's eyes narrowed in a challenging expression. "But my wife keeps no secrets from me." I looked up at Huey. I didn't tell him shit.
"Well, wish I could say it was the other way around as well." Huey's grip on me tightened and he pulled me back to him in a possessive display. Right as I was about to break the tension, Huey leaned down and whispered in my ear that we would finish our conversation later and kissed me on the cheek. He sauntered around me and stood in front of Dane. Huey whispered something to him, but all I could see was his self-satisfied smirk. Once Huey was in his car, driving off, I let out the breath I had been holding. I stepped aside for Dane to come in then shut the door.
"Sorry about that. He came in to talk about X, and I lost track of time as we were going at like a pack of dogs." 'Or bunnies.' My mind thought.
"It's ok, I understand how stubborn my species can be." I smiled a little at his joke.
"Would you like something to drink?"
"No I'm ok, so do you want to talk about what's going on with X?" He gave me an opening to vent.
"X isn't acting like himself. He's retreating further and further into himself and Huey and I don't know what to do."
"He's taking the separation hard?"
"Kind of, I mean he's not throwing tantrums and he understands that something between us went wrong, but he's becoming a lot like how Huey was when I first met him, and it's starting to scare me. Huey and I don't know how to talk to him about what's going."
"Maybe counseling might help him, if he could express his feelings without the fear of hurting anyone's feelings."
"I'll bring it up with Huey that might just work, or at least help." Dane nodded. We stayed silent for a while until I felt the need to break the tension. "X wants to meet you."
"Really?" Dane's eyes lit up with surprise for the second time.
"Yeah, but I've been stalling. I'm…"
"Afraid." My eyes shot up to his.
"It's nothing personal—"
"Of course not. You're just trying to protect and do what's best for your son. You can't be sure that I'm not going to hurt him, even with the background check." My eyes widened and then narrowed in suspicion.
"How did you know that I have a background check on you?"
"Besides the fact that it's sitting on your table?" He pointed to the envelope with his name on it. "I'm betting the Representative had that done, but I can't blame him. If some man was coming around my son I would do the same thing."
"Thank you for understanding." I was relieved; at least I wouldn't be accused of trust issues already.
"There's nothing to really understand. X is young, which means he's impressionable. With a new man around my actions could have all kinds of influence on him, and Freeman knows that. He was looking out for his son as much as he was sizing up his competition."
"How do you know that?" I looked at him incredulously.
"Because Jazmine, if you were my wife, I'd do the same thing." He lowered an intense gaze on me; it was like I could feel him crawling delightfully under my skin and up and down my spine. Another pause settled over us, this one not as uncomfortable.
"So I guess I should explain about my annulment."
"You don't have to, that's your business." He sighed.
"I was going to tell you anyway, this just saved me the hassle of finding the right time." I poured both of us a small amount of the bottle of wine I had left over from my house warming with Cindy. For some reason, rehashing up old failed love affairs was always a little easier if you were numbed by something.
"Go ahead." I urged him.
"Thanks. Well let me start by admitting that I knew my ex-wife was having an affair before we got married." The puzzlement must have showed on my face. "I know, you're probably asking why the hell did I marry her. It was because I loved her." He took a sip from his wine glass and I waited for him to continue.
"Alexia was my high school sweetheart. She always called us the stereotypical couple, and I guess we were by high school girls' standards. I was class president and on the football and basketball team and she was on the school dance team. I used to watch my parents, watch how much they loved each other, and I wanted something like that. Before my father died they had celebrated 50 years of marriage. That's a number you don't hear anymore. Now days you're lucky to get to 5 years. So I wanted to have what my parents had, because that was how I learned what love was and how to treat a woman. But Lexi, didn't feel the way she used to about me, and if I had been honest with myself, I didn't lover her the way needed to survive with one person for half a century. Lexi had become an ideal to me and I was more scared of losing that dream and start over with someone else than of losing Lexi herself."
"If she didn't love you, than why did she agree to marry you?" I refilled the glass with a little more wine this time. I could feel Dane's pain; it wasn't unlike my feelings with Huey, except that I still loved him, which made it even worse.
"I asked her that at the court, she said it was because that was what everyone expected her to do. She married me because everyone expected us to get married and have a fabulous life. She was also well received by my family, and didn't want to hurt them, nor lose my sisters as friends. Plus she wanted to be able to come back to our high school reunion and still be the "it girl" as she put it."
I gulped down the wine in my glass. I believe that was why Huey married me, because everyone had expected us too, because I got along so well with his family, even those who weren't particularly fond of my pedigree.
"Lexi started having an affair, and I turned a blind eye, that is until I returned back from Seattle. She and her callboy had broken up because she became pregnant, and her only other option was me. She didn't want her reputation ruined, but I wouldn't raise another man's kid." My eyebrow flew up at this. X would always be a factor between them.
"That's different Jazmine. X knows I'm not his father, and I would never try to be his father. The circumstance with X had nothing to do with me. But Lexi's kid wouldn't know I wasn't their father. I would be raising the kid of a man who had an affair with my wife, while he was off living his life, probably stealing another wife. No matter how hard I tried, I would hold that child at a distance, and I would resent them. I would be punishing the only person who is blameless and I would end up destroying his childhood. Because while Lexi and I would know that I had a right to be cold towards the child, the child would just think that their dad hates them and that nothing they do would truly please me. I would screw that kid, and anyone the came in contact with, up; I couldn't live with the idea that my actions towards Lexi's child could begin a cycle that ruined many innocent people's lives. So I left her enough money for a few months' rent and some of the things a baby would need and never looked back" He let his explanation sink in. We waited in silence.
"You did the right thing." He looked up at me, almost in shock that I would agree with him. "You were right to walk away. Even if that child grows up without a father, it's much better than them growing up with a man who hated them and scared them for life. Alexia's child was not your responsibility."
"Thank you for understanding Jazmine. No one, not even my family knows the truth of what happened. The just think we had irreconcilable differences." I stifled a chuckle, isn't that what everyone said? Dane and I were more similar than either of us first thought.