Author's Note: Surprise! Bet none of you were expecting this, eh? Holiday treat for my favorite batch of readers. Enjoy! A more detailed author's note will be posted at the end :)
"What brings you outside the walls?" a gruff voice asks beside me. "This was an odd request for you. You haven't left since they were rebuilt."
Daryl Dixon and I have come a few miles out, into the growing wilderness outside our rebuilding community of Alexandria, in order to track down some deer. It has been almost a full month since that fateful day: the day Negan was killed and relative peace restored between our communities. We wasted no time clearing out the walkers and rebuilding Alexandria's walls. Daryl is right, though: I haven't been outside of them since they were rebuilt. It was all part of Carl and I's pact. We would stay within the community, grow crops, and watch after Judith. Still, duty calls and eventually I came to realize that I can't hide behind the walls forever. Though, I admit, this occasion is a special one. We are nearing the end of November, with December fast approaching.
Now that I have a family, I want to do right by them. So...
"Well, its not like we can find turkey around here." I mutter a reply. "...Can we?"
The redneck shakes his shaggy head, "Best stick to deer." he replies. "They're more reliable."
We press on, pushing through a rather thick swath of thorn bushes and particularly high grass. The trees are beginning to thin, but as Daryl is the expert tracker, I trust he knows who or what he is tracking. The cold of November is almost unbearable and were it not for the thick, navy wool jacket, matching black toboggan, and black wool gloves I am wearing, I probably would have given up by now.
"You still haven't answered my question." Daryl points out as he kneels to examine some obscure markings in the mud.
I huff.
Daryl Dixon is persistent. If he wants to know something, you're going to tell him, even if you would rather just avoid the topic entirely.
"It's..." I glance away, towards a nearby pile of leaves, in embarrassment: my cheeks darkening as a result. "It's Thanksgiving."
The redneck glances back over his shoulder; the look he's giving me is a cross between slightly amused and completely incredulous, almost as though I just said the dumbest thing in the world. This look makes my cheeks darken even more and mock annoyance rise from the pits of my stomach.
"Don't look at me like that." I snap lightheartedly, folding my arms in defiance. "That's the same look Carl gave me."
Daryl merely shakes his head as he rises back to his feet, then gestures for me to follow him ahead.
As we continue through the woods, I reflect on my decision to ask Daryl to come along on this hunting trip. I have known Carl for three years and the rest of his group only a month short of that. Celebration of holidays has never been a topic any of us have ever brought up, though Carl did eventually relent to allowing me to celebrate his birthday; especially after the way we celebrated his sixteenth years ago. To his credit, holidays aren't really something any sane person would think about while living on the road, full of walkers and deadly people.
Times are changing now.
Negan and the Saviors are gone, the walker threat is at least manageable for the moment, and we have Judith to think about. Even if we don't go as far as celebrating like we used to in the old world, I want there to be some celebration; especially now that we have the opportunity to do so. Plus, a large part of me wants to do this for Carl. Ever since peace was restored, he has been thinking more and more about his dad, which has put a damper on his spirits. I want him to be happy, as usual, and I feel that maybe this can help him.
At least, that is my hope.
Daryl suddenly signals for me to stop, gesturing towards a small curve in the trail up ahead. Narrowing my eyes, I can see what he is gesturing towards clearly: a rather large buck grazing on a small patch of grass several yards ahead of us. Cautiously, Daryl pivots and backs up until he is directly behind me, never once taking his eye off of the deer.
"Remember what I taught you?" the redneck's voice is now a whisper on the frigid winter wind.
I nod.
I have brought two weapons with me this time: my trademark sword and a compound bow Daryl had given me awhile back for just such an occasion. I think back to Daryl's brief instruction earlier in the day and begin to allow his instructions to become actions. Inhaling deeply, I home in on the deer, swiftly drawing an arrow from the quiver. I take care to lay the arrow snug against the groove in my bow, which helps me to keep it straight. As I do this, I can feel the apprehension growing in my chest. Sweat glistens against my forehead, even despite the cold temperatures, as I devote all of my attention to ensuring I kill my prey on the first try. Holding the arrow firmly between my thumb and index fingers, I draw the string, tugging the arrow back towards my cheek as I take aim at the unsuspecting buck.
"Loosen up a bit." Daryl whispers.
Obeying, I loosen up my right arm. Caught up in the moment, I almost forgot that a tight bow arm can mean a nasty bruise if the string slaps it upon release. Ahead of us, the deer glances up from its vegetative meal, as if sensing danger hidden somewhere among the trees. I have to be quick, or we will loose this chance.
"Right foot forward."
Daryl is a good coach. I was right to ask him along. Careful, so not to draw attention to us, I slide my right foot forward ever so slightly. With that out of the way, I again make sure the buck is well within my sights.
"Get it."
That's the signal. Finally, the built up tension is released as I loose the arrow to fly freely from my fingertips; springing forward, the arrow races across the distance catching the deer square behind its front shoulders. I blink once. Twice. I hadn't actually expected to hit the animal, considering my luck. Perhaps Daryl's mentoring was just that good. The redneck rises behind me, delivering a swift, yet powerful series of pats to my shoulder as he goes to retrieve the fallen creature.
"You're a natural." he mutters.
His praise makes my heart sore: Daryl saves his praise for moments that truly deserve it.
I am quick to bound off after him, abandoning any chance to revel in my success. Bow hunting would be a useful skill to have should I ever need it. It is good to be learning from Daryl. That is enough for me.
"You gonna take any for Carol or the others?" I ask casually as we approach the kill.
"Nah," he replies. "This one's yours. We'll find another to take back to the others."
A hiss from our right draws our attention suddenly from the conversation.
At this point in my life, it is a familiar sound. Almost too familiar. Perhaps attracted by our talking or some other factor, a small pack of walkers has emerged from the trees. A quick head count reveals at least seven reanimated corpses heading straight for my kill. Immediately, I swing my bow back over my shoulder and reach for the handle of my sword at my hip. Daryl's reaction is similar, with the redneck drawing his signature crossbow. Clearing walkers, at this point, is more of a chore than a threat.
With a nod in their direction as his signal, Daryl and I rush forward bludgeoning the first two walkers with a blow from his crossbow and a slash from my sword respectively. The other five go down in a similar manner. By the end of it, my sword is once more coated in tar-like walker blood, with some small droplets coating my face. With a sigh, I flick my blade to the side, cleansing it of the excess blood before sliding it back into its scabbard.
Another day in paradise...
####
"I'm home!"
The following afternoon, I am finally back in Alexandria.
Upon returning to the community, following its reconstruction, Carl and I naturally reclaimed the house Rick had chosen for us when we had first arrived here years prior. It was hard at first, returning home without Rick; it was especially hard for Carl, but time has made it easier to adjust. Somewhat. When no one answers, I slip my sword and bow down, laying them gently against the wall closest the door. I then kick off my shoes and head straight into the house. At that moment, Carl rounds the corner into the living room, nearly colliding with me in the process.
"Hey," he greets me with a soft smile.
Carl has never been profound with greetings. Still, it warms my heart to see him again.
"Hey," I match his tone, catching him up in a tight bear hug, followed by a swift, innocent kiss to the top of his head.
"Any luck on the hunt?" he mumbles into my chest.
"Yeah," I smile. "Daryl's bringing by the meat later. We'll be eating good for once."
Carl sighs and we release each other from our mutual embrace. He still seems somewhat sullen, his shoulders drooped and sapphire eyes lacking their usual luster. This is the way he has been since everything ended. It hurts my heart to see him moping around so much. Taking initiative, I tightly clasp his warm hand in my cold one and proceed to drag him towards our homey little couch, which we then plop down onto.
"What's everyone been up to these past few days?" At this point, I'll say anything to get his mind out of the clouds.
"Glenn and Maggie are going to that celebration dinner thing." Carl mumbles. "They haven't stopped talking about it. Same with Sasha."
Carl is referring to an event thought up by Jesus, to get together all three communities for a sort of holidays/harvest celebration. Carl had made it plain from day one that he wasn't interested in attending it, hence my seeking other ways to celebrate with him and family. I drape a friendly arm over his shoulder and offer him a reassuring smile.
"We can do our own thing here." I reply.
Finally interested in something, Carl's gaze meets my own. For a moment, he studies me, as if trying to come up with his own response to the situation.
"It feels wrong." he finally confesses. "Celebrating. What is there to celebrate?"
I count this as a small victory on my part.
Ever since Jesus made his proposal, Carl wouldn't talk about the subject of celebration other than to venomously reject it. At least now he seems to somewhat receptive to talking about it. As per usual with Carl, anytime he makes one confession, everything that he has been keeping inside of him related to it comes spilling out along with it.
"How can I celebrate with all that we've lost?" he continues, a new edge to his voice. "When I know that out there, outside those walls, nothing has changed. We still live in a hell hole of a world, people are still going to die, and we can't bring back the ones we have lost."
Finally finished, he sighs heavily and slumps to stare at the ground.
I think carefully about my answer. Depending on what I say, I can accidentally worsen Carl's mood, which wouldn't be good, or I have a real shot at improving it. He isn't entirely wrong and I certainly understand his sentiment. The pain of loss hangs over everyone these days, including me. The memories of the friends we have lost are still fresh on my mind and heavy on my heart. But, for me, celebrating what we have is a lot better than sulking for what we've lost. I just have to get him to see it that way.
My grip on his shoulder tightens slightly, drawing his gaze back to mine.
"Well," I begin. "For one, you're alive. I'm alive. We're alive. If that's not something to celebrate, I don't know what is."
His gaze hardens, but I'm not through yet:
"Secondly, we still have friends. Glenn, Maggie, Daryl, Carol, Sasha, Michonne, Jesus, Ezekiel, Rosita, Eugene; I could go on forever. They made it. We still have them. You still have them." I continue. "Not to mention, your baby sister is alive and well, we have a home we can be safe in for however long it may last and finally..." I lean in, allowing my forehead to lightly rest against his own, bringing our eyes mere inches apart. "...You have me, and I will always be here for you."
Carl's gaze softens and, though he says nothing, the change in his eyes makes it apparent enough that my words have struck home. Pushing off the couch ever so slightly, he connects his lips with mine. I can't help the grin that curls across my mouth as he presses harder into me, pushing us both back into the cushioning of the couch. He's practically in my lap, pressing down into me until we're both kissing each other with abandon. I've just brought my hands up to take fistfuls of his brunette locks when the front door swings open and Michonne storms in, Judith not far behind her.
"Show's over, kids." she grunts, quite used to walking in on this by now.
Carl and I jolt apart just in time for Judith to see what it was we were doing. Naturally, the toddler is none too pleased.
"Ewwwwww!" she squeals, pointing her index finger accusingly at us.
I sigh, comically annoyed by our family's intrusion.
"No privacy, I swear." I mumble jokingly, just loud enough for Carl to hear.
For the first time in a long while, I see Carl crack a genuine smile; a smile which turns into a grin, then into a fit of uncontrollable, yet slightly embarrassed, laughter. My heart warms again. Carl's laughter is like a heavenly trumpet to my ears. I cherish the rare occasions I am lucky enough to hear it. Door wide open, Daryl soon trots through the doorway, Carol in toe, both carrying containers of what I assume to be the deer meat from the kill we had made the day prior. Naturally, I leap up off the couch to offer my assistance, taking the containers from their hands. Daryl uses his new found freedom to scoop the toddler Judith up into his arms, causing her to shrill with happiness.
"How's my lil' ass-kicker?" he asks her affectionately. Judith and Carol are the only people he is this way around.
"Tawner and Carl were kissing!" she shrieks in her childish enthusiasm, even managing to sound somewhat disgusted to my surprise.
Daryl feigns surprise, "Were they now? Tell 'em to knock it off!"
"Its a free country." Carl grumbles, doing his best to sound annoyed, when we all know he's just joking.
"C'mon," Carol interjects, breaking us all up. "Let's get this stuff to the kitchen."
Carl quickly makes himself available to me for help and, together, we carry the deer meat off into the kitchen as Daryl follows us with Judith still babbling about nothing in particular in his arms.
####
That night, the noise level in the house is higher than I imagined it would be.
Neither Carol nor Daryl felt like joining the main celebration like Glenn and Maggie, so they stayed with us for dinner. Judith bounces happily in her seat as Carl slaps a small plate down in front of her, leaving Carol and I to help her eat it. The chatter filling the room varies in topic. Michonne jokes about her long day at the park with Judith, Daryl and I share stories about our recent hunt, while Carl recounts stories of our recent harvest: the first of many, we hope. In a weird kind of way, it is a dinner that very much reminds me of an old Thanksgiving Day dinner with my family. There is plenty of laughter, goofing around, and even the occasional serious talk: all hallmarks of a family dinner.
In the end, we end up eating more than any of us have in quite a long time.
It has been forever since I can say I have been genuinely stuffed. Over dinner, I keep a careful eye on Carl. His entire demeanor has shifted, as though being surrounded by his group mates and family have lifted his mood onto a new plane. I get to seem him genuinely smile more than once, two of those directed at me, which still to this day makes me catch my breath. By the time Carol and Daryl leave for the night, a spirit of celebration and genuine contentment hangs over the house like a thick fog. I put Judith down to bed, the young girl clearly tuckered out from the lively night she's just had. Michonne, who has taken up Rick's old room, says her good nights and then disappears into her room for a night of well-earned rest.
Finally, I trundle back across the house and find Carl waiting for me at the edge of our own bed.
"That was eventful." I greet him with a smile, kicking off my jeans in favor of some pajama bottoms I'd recently acquired. "Did you enjoy yourself?"
Carl takes a moment to reply, gazing towards the ground thoughtfully before answering with a smile: "Yeah, I really did."
"Good," I reply, leaning down to peck him on the head with a kiss.
"Tanner?" his voice stops me as I toss off my long-sleeved, wool shirt in favor of a simple t-shirt for bed.
I glance over my shoulder to acknowledge him.
"Sorry," he says, causing my brow to furrow. "I didn't mean to be such a downer lately."
I smile softly at him.
For him to apologize means that, maybe, he's finally recovering from his bout of depression. I cross the carpet with socked feet and gently sink down into the bed next to him, throwing both my arms around his neck as I again lean lightly against his forehead.
"Don't be," I reply, echoing something Michonne once told me. "We all have moments like that. Its easy to lose sight of the good when we've been through so much bad."
He nods, "I'm trying."
This earns him another peck, this time to the lips: "I know. And I'll be there for you every step of the way."
With that, I allow myself to fall back into the comforting embrace of the sheets. Carl isn't far behind me, resting his head on my chest as I pull the covers up and throw them over us. We lay in silent thought for many minutes, patiently awaiting sleep to arrive. That is before Carl stirs slightly, leaning up just enough to give me a short, wet kiss on my cheek.
"Happy Thanksgiving, Tanner." he murmurs, his voice heavy with sleep.
I smile and hold him tightly to me, never wanting to let him go.
"Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Carl."
And rest takes us.
A/N: Well, as I said at the beginning: bet you weren't expecting that! Nah, I was in a festive mood and decided I really wanted to do a oneshot holiday Bonus chapter for this story. Even though that's probably the cheesiest ending I've ever wrote, it makes me happy, so you guys are stuck with it :D This chapter was made in honor of the holidays, the insanely badass episodes the first half of Season 5 has given us, and, most importantly, to the most awesome readers in the world, who have read and enjoyed this story, both through the original run and even after I finished writing it in September. I hope it was enjoyable.
If you guys want to see more one shots like this in the future, let me know. I'm always full of ideas and am happy to do them! :)
Cheers folks!
Later.