BENEATH THE SURFACE
Part Thirty-Six
*** Warning, sex scene ahead, yadda yadda yadda ***
Rogue slipped the blister pack from the green box and dropped it onto the cabinet by her bed where she had placed her glass of water, she drew a breath and stared down at it. Her stomach flipped anxiously.
There it is, she thought. Two hundred milligrams of abortion in handy dandy pill format.
She gazed down at the instruction leaflet that had come with the box, she had it all there, the first pill, the antibiotics, then the second pill. She'd had to buy a pack of sanitary pads too at the suggestion of the girl behind the counter in the pharmacy, she'd always hated using these things.
Remy thought Ah have period problems, she thought dully. Ah guess after usin' all of this, Ah will. She lifted her eyes to where her dress for Halloween was hanging; she'd ordered it online and it had come while she was at school; the thing was a soft baby pink colour, satin and floaty. Not her style at all. There was a strawberry blonde wig to go with it, it looked pristine and shimmery right now but she'd be pouring some blood onto that and the cheap dress before leaving for the party.
Right now, her thoughts were muddled with everything, pregnancy, parties, Remy and his talk about how he'd received that scar. And the story about the cat...where had that come from? Ah saw no cat.
She picked the blister pack up and turned it around in her hands. You're stallin'. The longer you stall, the harder this will be, the more likely it won't work...the longer you wait, the longer you risk it bein' unavoidable you'll have to go through with everythin'...
Still she couldn't do this right now. Grunting in disgust with herself, she opened her bedside cabinet and put that with the other two prescriptions inside. She tucked them away behind her tubs of moisturiser, nail polish removers and sunglasses. They wouldn't be obvious – at least she hoped not.
Who's gonna come ransacking through my stuff anyway? She wondered. There was only one person she realised probably was likely to, and that was Tabitha. Maybe Ah should put this stuff in a lockable box...
No, it didn't seem necessary. Tabitha had kept her distance since Rogue had asked her straight up if she was sleeping with Remy. The blonde had kept her distance since Remy had made a point to stop talking to her.
He actually kept his word, he hasn't spoken to her, Rogue thought, feeling ever so slightly more secure about their relationship. In fact, if it weren't for this pregnancy and his reluctance to be open with her, the relationship would be pretty perfect, she thought. She was finding things like intimacy easier, talking with him, joking with him, even despite her unhappiness finding a way to inject a little humour with the Halloween condoms.
The relationship was getting better, she felt it.
There was a quiet knock at her bedroom door, she closed the drawer quietly, wiped her face just in case there were any tears she may have accidentally cried and she straightened up, "yeah?" she asked.
The door opened slowly, the last person she'd expected to see coming to her room was the Professor; he rarely ever came to the upstairs levels of the mansion. Rogue turned towards him.
"Hi," she said.
He moved in, pushing the door shut quietly, it was already late and he didn't seem intent on drawing attention to the fact he'd come up to see her.
"I'm sorry to come upstairs so late...I sensed you were still awake," he said softly, his voice just barely above a whisper. "I tried to find time to speak with you earlier about your doctor's appointment, but so many of the others were around, I found it impossible to get a moment alone with you."
Rogue nodded, understanding.
"How was the appointment?" he asked, coming all the way over, he stopped a foot away from her.
Rogue lifted the glass of water to her lips and sipped, it was already warm and she hated the tastelessness of it. She'd never been all that fond of plain water. "Everythin' you told me was right on the money. Dr. Watson says Ah'm around seven to eight weeks...further along than you thought."
Professor Xavier's brow furrowed a little. "I see."
Rogue sighed and leaned back against her pillows, she pulled a knee up onto the bed. Seven to eight weeks. Could that really mean it had been her first time?
She thought of that first time, the pain, the discomfort, the awkwardness, the strange silence between them broken only by the sound of the water around the yacht. It couldn't have been the first time...he hadn't finished, had he? She didn't know much about sex but she'd grown to know enough from the past few experiences with him that he hadn't orgasmed.
No...it was likely the second time. The time in his room on that tiny mattress on the floor. He'd finished that time, there'd been no doubt about it. There'd been nothing romantic or exciting about it, she hadn't felt pleasure in anything other than the way they'd lay together afterwards. An unromantic and unpleasurable blasé screw in broad daylight, mostly clothed...that wasn't how a child was meant to be conceived, was it?
"Did the appointment help with any of your concerns?"
Rogue sighed and opened the drawer she'd just closed, she took the box of Mifepristone out and passed it to the Professor, she said not a word.
Professor Xavier stared down at the box, his expression full of sadness, "I see," was his response.
"Ah know there's another alternative," she drew a breath, "Ah know y'all will do all you can for me if that was the way Ah wanted to go. Ah know you'd give me money, and help...you'd all be there to give me the support Ah needed, be there every step of the way..."
"Of course..." Professor Xavier turned the box around in his hands absently.
"But..." she sniffed, "there's danger here...and Ah can't expect everyone to do what Ah can't myself. When Ah imagine havin' a baby, Ah don't imagine seein' someone else bringin' it up. Ah wouldn't expect anyone to be there to help me, Ah wouldn't ask them for sacrifices or time, but...everyone here knows what it means bein' a family...and nothin' would ever stop them from bein' there, from sacrificin' and doin' all they could to help..."
"You're right, of course," the Professor stated softly, "We are a family, and we will always do everything we can to care for our own. Your child would be one of us, would be love and cherished as one of us...you know that. Everyone would want to be a part of your baby's life."
"Ah know. Ah know everyone would make it work, Ah know they'd even bite their tongue from complainin' about it, because that's how things go here...we just make do, we get along with everythin' that gets thrown at us, like we've always done," she sighed. "But Ah can't help thinkin' of the trouble it'd cause. A lot of us are in the hardest year of high school...some are in college...and the instructors are facin' a lot of tough work ahead trainin'...tryin' to keep us safe. The missions...no one needs the disruption of a baby, of bein' woken in the dead of night, of havin' a toddler runnin' through the halls, of havin' to be careful with their powers even more than they are now..."
"Rogue...you're basing your decision on the needs of others...of what you think they need and want..." he leaned forward, "but what do you want?"
Rogue's eyes welled a little. She was so confused about what she wanted. What she wanted, she hadn't given much thought. She'd had to take too much time to consider the way life would pan out for everyone else here, how life would pan out for Remy and for the baby should she decide to keep it.
"You know this decision is not about what everyone else wants or needs, Rogue. This decision is about what you feel...and you want."
Rogue rubbed the back of her neck. She thought of the talk that the Professor had had about how they should be careful, how teen pregnancy had been referenced. It had still never occurred to her even then this was going to happen. She supposed she should have considered the possibility.
Ah was too naïve, still too overwhelmed by what was happenin' to realise. Ah had all the education and still Ah never thought of it. Ah can't even say it was partly Remy's fault...he did everythin' he was supposed to do...he wore the damn protection. It was up to me to have birth control.
"I understand this is an impossibly difficult time for you," the Professor touched her arm gently, "But you have to realise that this kind of decision cannot be made lightly. You have to be sure of your decision. I cannot stand the thought of you living with regret because you chose to make a decision based on what you thought was best for us rather than what was best for you. Do not be guilt-ridden into making a decision. You need to put yourself and Remy first."
Rogue lay her head back against her pillows, "Ah am puttin' Remy first, Professor. Ah know right now this is the last thing he needs in his life."
"Have you spoken to him about any of this?" the Professor asked.
"No," she shook her head, "we're on talkin' terms again...things have been good...better than they were."
"They are?" he asked, seeming rather encouraged.
"He's startin' to open up to me a little...we spend time together and Ah feel less, Ah don't know...Ah guess worried about what others think about it. And...and...our..." she thought of their time together alone, the private moments, lying in bed together. "Our uhm..."
"Physical relationship?" the Professor spoke up for her, raising an eyebrow.
She blushed and dropped her eyes, "Ah...know you said don't..."
"Yes, I did," he answered.
If Ah hadn't, Ah wouldn't be pregnant right now, she realised. God, Ah should have listened. He's well within his right to say he told me so.
"I'm aware things have been going on under our noses despite what we asked. But you're married and you are entitled to have an adult relationship whether we agree with it being under our roof or not. However...you have been entirely discrete, and 've hidden this relationship rather splendidly, and no one has ever learned about what goes on behind those closed doors...for that I am grateful."
Rogue scratched her knee absently, this subject made her feel quite embarrassed and extremely nervous.
"We're both adults here, Rogue. I've been on this earth over half a century, I've heard a lot, seen a lot, and I'm sure it won't shock you to know I've certainly experienced some of it too. As a doctor, I certainly was privy to a lot of details. Nothing you say is going to shock me, and it would always be in the strictest of confidence."
She rose her eyes to his, he didn't seem remotely embarrassed or uncomfortable. She dropped her eyes again nervously, "it...it's just...the...physical stuff has...sort of..." she tried to find an explanation, a way to reason why it was happening, why she didn't want to be reprimanded for it happening in the mansion. "It's...the closest Ah get to feelin' normal...you know? Like...like other girls."
"There's certainly nothing wrong with intimacy, Rogue," the Professor admitted, "you're an adult, Rogue, and you're married, there's nothing unacceptable about wanting to be intimate. I'm just uncomfortable with the thought of it going on in the mansion in case someone should be unfortunate enough to happen upon it. I wouldn't like to think of rumours spreading, nor the others thinking it may be acceptable to engage in similar behaviour."
"Ah know that," she nodded, remembering the first warning.
"Logan really loathes the idea of it occurring at all here," the Professor confessed, "he told me the other day he'd sensed something had occurred upstairs."
Rogue groaned inwardly.
"He can't help it, Rogue, he's protective of you. This kind of relationship shouldn't really be encouraged of course, we don't want any hard feelings between students here or accusations of favouritism, but Logan has always had a certain fondness for you. He's admitted to me many times he thinks of you the way he would think of as a child of his own. That if he were to have a daughter, it would be you..."
Rogue nodded, "he told me he thinks of me that way too..." she admitted. She decided not to mention about Remy's thoughts it may be something more, she was sure the Professor was more than aware of it...and anyway, Remy seemed to have gotten over that suspicion for now.
"No father likes to think of his child being used in that way," Professor Xavier said gently, "it's instinct, pure and simple, he's trying to protect his own."
She nodded, understanding. "It's...sweet, really, but he shouldn't worry. Remy has never used me like that..."
In fact...Ah've made more moves on Remy lately than he has with me? Who's really bein' used here? She realised.
Professor Xavier sighed, "I've...had words with Logan and discussed us allowing for some leeway regarding your...how should we put it...your...private time."
"Really?" she asked.
"As long as you can ensure you can continue to be discrete, then he'll grin and bear it for now."
Rogue smiled a little, the thought of no longer having to be as concerned about the instructors watching them closely to prevent them being together at night left her slightly happier despite the unhappy circumstances.
"As for the other situation..." Professor Xavier said, "I know you're running out of time, but try not to rush this decision too quickly. You should speak with Remy...he deserves to know...to be part of your decision. I understand you don't want to lay unnecessary stress upon him, and that right now this is the last thing he needs in his life, but he has a right to know."
Rogue knew the Professor was right but somehow couldn't help but disagree. Remy didn't need to know this, it was only going to hurt him in the long run.
"Now," the Professor said, "You should get to bed, you have school in the morning."
"Ah guess no trainin' again in the mornin'," she realised, slipping her feet beneath the blankets.
"Right now, no," Professor Xavier stated, "until you make a decision, I can hold training at bay."
"No..." she shook her head, "tomorrow...tell a lie."
"A lie?"
"Go ahead with mornin' trainin' as usual...tell them Ah'm not well...that Ah have a sore back...or a flu...just...don't make the others suffer or fall behind with trainin' because of me."
Professor Xavier smiled a little.
"What's the smile for?" she asked.
"Focus on what you need, dear," he patted her arm, "not what anyone else needs. Goodnight."
Rogue slipped beneath the covers and switched the light off, she stared towards the rain splattered window, the moonlight illuminating tiny droplets making them seem like crystals.
What do Ah want? She thought dully.
She lay there for some time in the dark, trying to sleep and unable to, thoughts and scenarios rolling around in her head like large boulders, smashing against each other, tiny chips of thoughts trailing off and piling up into a mess of things she couldn't decipher any more.
She gave up on sleep when she heard the clock in the hall striking midnight; she crept out of bed and out of her room and made her way to Remy's room. She was careful to be as quiet as she could, not to be seen.
Rogue silently slipped through Remy's door, closing it behind herself and nudging the wedge under to lock it in place. Remy was laying on his bed over the covers, she was surprised to see he was still awake. He'd looked slightly drowsy at dinner.
"Ah thought you'd be asleep by now," she confessed, she came over and sat on the left side of the bed, as he tended to sleep at the right.
"Why y' here then if y' thought that?" he asked, lowering his copy of 'A Tale of Two Cities' which he was almost finished reading for English class.
"Ah guess Ah just wanted to come lay with you," she confessed, she leaned against his pillows. "Whoa, these are like, super fluffy," she realised, she leaned up and picked one up, "you got these today?"
"Yeah, while you was at the docs," he admitted, "and the sheets. Egyptian cotton..." he swept his hand over the fabric fondly, "very soft. Wen' on a bit o' a spree 'cause y' took so damn long."
She put the pillow back down, "you ever get sick of throwin' money around?"
"Not really," he answered with a smirk. "Y' not afraid Logan gon' chase y' out of here? I know he's in his room."
She grinned, "professor had words with him."
"Oh?"
"He's asked Logan to look the other way...he said that as long as we're discrete it's...you know, acceptable."
"Seriously?" he asked.
"Discrete..." she reminded, "No noise...no bein' caught, that sort of thing."
"We got by so far..."
"Yeah, but we haven't done a whole lot..." she reminded him, she ran a gloved finger over his sheets absently.
He put the book aside and stretched out on the sheets, "y' lookin' forward t' tomorrow?" he asked her.
"What?" she raised an eyebrow.
"Y' know...the party. We goin' t' gether," he reminded.
"Oh yeah," she said, "Well...Ah'm lookin' forward to hopefully winnin' this year..." she twisted a lock of her hair around her finger absent mindedly.
"Y' gon' dance wit' me?"
"Maybe."
"Even slow dance?"
"Ah'm not sure there'll be slow dancin'."
"Oh there will be...I'll be slippin' the DJ a fifty jus' t' be sure," he grinned.
"Ha ha," she rolled her eyes.
"It'll be nice," he admitted, "t' be able t' be close t' y' in public...in front o' the others...be able t' touch y' wit' out y' gettin' nervous..."
"Ah might still be nervous," she confessed.
He sat up, "what y' gon' say?"
"What do you mean?"
"If someone asks about us?"
"Give me an example..." Rogue suggested, she ran her fingers tiredly through her hair.
"Well..." he said, "f' instance...I'll take y' hand...and lead y' t' the dance floor...and I won' be lookin' at anyone else but you..." he explained gently, he leaned closer to her, "what y' gon' say when...maybe Kurt asks what's goin' on?"
"Ah...uhm..." she chewed the inside of her cheek thoughtfully, "Ah could say Ah'm not quite sure..."
"What about if he asks if y' like me?"
"As much as Ah like anyone else, Ah suppose?" she offered as an answer.
"Oh c' mon...y' promised..." he groaned.
She smirked a little, "for your birthday, Ah promised...but it's not your birthday until after Halloween...so tomorrow it's gonna be subtle. But you can take my hand...and you can dance...you can even bring me punch. But we can't be too obvious."
"Fair enough," he said, "Oh... by the way, I got somethin' t' day...somethin' f' us."
"Hmm?" she asked, she shrugged down into the pillows a little, they were incredibly comfortable, as was the new duvet he'd got. It seemed to be goosedown, it was incredibly soft and luxurious.
Remy leaned over the edge of his bed and pulled out the hidden drawer in the leather base, he brought up a small bag and passed it over to her, "here..."
Rogue curiously accepted the bag and opened it. The contents she really didn't know what to make head nor tail of. "What is this exactly?" she turned it around in her hands. It seemed to be some ridiculous pair of thick latex underpants...there was an odd tube shaped protrusion at the front. "Is this a joke or somethin'?"
"No..." he said, "it's called a Scroguard..." he explained, "I saw it online in an article...it's supposedly the safest way t' have sex wit' out skin t' skin contact..."
Rogue raised an eyebrow at him. "It's hideous..."
"It's not about the aesthetics..." he reminded.
"It looks...perverse..." she made a face of disgust.
"I know it ain' exactly pretty but..." he took it from her and unbuttoned the sides, "but it'd give us a lil' more...y' know..."
"What?"
"A lil' more freedom..."
"Freedom for what?" she asked. "We can already do it..."
"Yeah...but wit' this...I don' got t' worry about the condom slippin'..." he explained, "and I can go pretty deep..."
"You already go pretty deep," she commented.
"I only push about halfway in, last time jus' a lil' more than that. Wit' this...y' woul' feel a lot more...it'd be better for us both."
Rogue made a face, "sorry...no."
"No?" he asked.
"Ah'm not...uhm..." she winced, trying to find the courage to say it, "Ah'm not fucking you wearin' that thing...it's hideous."
"Wit' the lights off, it wouldn' matter..." he offered.
"No...it's gross..."
"C' mon, Marie...it ain' jus' about you...it's about my piece o' mind. It's awkward tryin' t' keep the condom from slippin'...I'm always afraid our skin is gon' graze and I know it ain' no picnic f' either of us when that happens. Won' y' just consider it?"
"No," she reiterated.
"Why not?"
"Ah told you, it's ugly."
"Yeah, and?" he shrugged, "Y' already said my dick is about the most unattractive thing y' ever seen anyway," he pointed out, "what's a lil' bit rubber gon' make a difference."
"How am Ah supposed to feel all...excited...with that thing on you?"
"Y' wouldn' need t' look at me," he offered, "If y' like y' can keep y' back turned the entire time...like last time..."
Rogue picked at a loose thread on her glove, thinking about this. She wasn't sure she could feel aroused if he had that thing on. She'd never imagined him coming out with anything as hideous. A black rubber body-suit, perhaps, but not this monstrosity.
Remy reached into his bedside drawer and retrieved a pair of gloves, "give me a chance t' change y' mind?" he asked, smirking a little.
"You're not gonna," she singsonged.
He used elastic bands to secure the gloves to his sleeves, Rogue was always impressed how he had found the simplest solutions to adapt to her powers. She supposed this scroguard thing was just another method of adaptation.
Remy grazed her bare knee gently, she gazed at his hand, the vinyl gloves she'd bought were slightly clearer than the ones he'd been wearing from the sickbay, it was easier to imagine that his hands were bare when she could see the colour of his skin.
This is exactly how you ended up pregnant, she reminded herself, watching his fingers sliding up her slim white thigh. God, how do Ah tell him. Professor is probably right...he has a right to know but...it'd mess everythin' up and right now it's goin' so well...we're gettin' along so much better...
He pushed her nightgown up and hooked a finger into her underwear.
"Black lace, huh? Who you tryin' to impress?" he teased.
"Don't flatter yourself," she commented, "these are the only undies Ah have that don't show through my leggings."
"Y' know...if it weren' for limitations, I'd be tearin' these off with my teeth."
It was funny how there were certain ways he could just say things that instantly gave her those strange chills, seemed to make her ache from the inside, make the most intimate parts of her tighten with anticipation for his touch. She took a breath deep through her nose and tried to calm herself by breathing it out through her mouth, watching as tugged the underwear down little by little, exposing her. She hated being so exposed to him, he took far too much pleasure in looking at her and she'd never been one for exhibitionism.
"Y' shaved all the way down," he raised his eyes to her, "now I know y' tryin' t' impress me."
"Ah do that for me, not for you. Some people just don't like body hair..."
"I ain' complainin'," he grazed his index finger against her.
If you knew what was inside of me right now, you wouldn't find this half as sexy, Rogue thought dully. His touch was admittedly beginning to distract her from the thoughts she'd been having all day. She slipped down a little more into the pillows, her eyes rolled in the back of her head as he stroked and teased her.
He's so good with his hands...how many girls has he-? No...don't think about it. It doesn't matter, he's mine now, that's all that counts. God...he knows exactly how Ah like it...
She supposed it shouldn't have been surprising, when he touched her she always felt him watching her like a hawk for reactions, he could read her like a book, page to page, each paragraph more intense than the last.
It pained her that he stopped just as she was close, she winced and gasped, "Remy..."
"Are y' convinced, yet?" he asked hopefully, she glanced down to see he was fondling himself beneath his pyjama pants, his breathing had quickened a little. There was something strangely disturbing and at the same time intriguing about knowing he was doing that.
"No..." she lied, fighting to instinctively push her thighs together, he'd left her far too close to play this game.
He knelt up, tugging on her nightgown to try and pull it off, she clung onto it.
"No..." she refused.
"C' mon..." he breathed, "Y' got a beautiful body...why always insist on hidin' it..."
"Ah don't like the way it looks," she held the nightgown down against her stomach. What if Ah'm showin' already and he notices?!
"But I do..." he fought with her to try and get her to let go of the fabric, she felt his breath hot against her cheek, her body burned with the thought of him.
"It's gross...all the fat jigglin'..." she made a face.
"Y' ain' got no fat..." he laughed, "except here..." he cupped her left breast, "An' I'm a lil' partial t' jigglin' when it comes t' that..."
In all the time she'd known him, in all the time since they'd started their intimate relationship, she'd never been so flushed with thoughts of him, never wanted anything so much. It struck her perhaps that it might just be the pregnancy hormones. She wasn't sure she cared. Fighting for control of the situation, she tackled him down to the mattress, and straddled him, pinning his shoulders. It was instinctual, she couldn't help but grind herself against the protrusion beneath his cotton pyjama pants, the fabric wasn't comfortable but the pressure of him against her gave her slight relief. He bucked a little, moaning low in his throat; for a moment he almost succumbed but pulled himself together and he tackled her back over and pinned her back.
"No, no, no," he breathed lazily against her ear. "Y' don' get t' get off until y' give in."
"Never..." she responded.
"Pity...'cause I can go on all night like this..."
"With a hard on like that?" she asked boldly, "Ah hardly think so."
"I suffer 'em all day in y' presence, I'm accustomed t' it," he smirked, while pinning her down with his elbows he grabbed hard the collar of her nightgown and gave a hard yank, pulling it apart as if it were flimsy paper. She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment as he exposed her body completely, the sound of the fabric ripping was louder than she'd have expected.
His eyes roved her appreciatively and he let his fingers dance gently down the valley between her breasts, "don' know why y' so shy about y' body...y' got the bes' body in here...'cept f' mine o' course."
Rogue tried to remain stoic and unaffected, it was all part of the game. All the while her thoughts were screaming for what she wanted. She wanted to gasp the words to him but she wasn't certain she was brave enough, nor that it would sound right coming from her. She was certain it may only sound laughable.
"Maybe I shoul' put this thing on..." he suggested, he unbuttoned his pyjama bottoms and grabbed the scroguard, pulling it onto his bare flesh. The thing looked ridiculous and she had to stifle a hand against her face to keep from laughing, especially when his erection protruded through the hole to accommodate it. "Y' think it's funny?" he asked.
She nodded, "you look ridiculous."
He retrieved a condom from his bedside cabinet (hidden in yet another card box, although this one was a different box, she supposed so he could tell the difference between the types he used). Putting the condom on (a ridiculous shade of blue) didn't make the thing look any the more appealing. Her eyes were tearing up she was trying so hard not to laugh.
If Ah burst out laughin', everyone is gonna hear and be in here to find out what's goin' on. The wedge is under the door but Kitty could just waltz right through, she reminded herself.
"Laugh all y' like..." he offered lightly, sounding almost amused himself, he pulled her legs apart and shifted between them, he grabbed one of his pillows and propped her backside up, she found the rather bold move slightly disturbing and more direct of him than usual. "Y' won' be laughin' very long..." he shifted closer and rolled his hips forward a little.
The head of his member grazed her just a little, and she breathed in sharply.
"Y' really turned on, I can tell, y' know...jus' by lookin' at y'..." he slid his hips back and forth gently, just rubbing himself against her, it wasn't quite enough to get her there, just enough to tease her. "I Know y' want this..." he used his honeyed voice, and it made her ache more.
If it weren't for that damn ugly accessory, there wouldn't have been such hesitation. She'd have begged for it already. It was so off-putting...it looked like an accessory for someone old and infirm who had problems going to the bathroom, it didn't look like a contraceptive in the least.
Contraceptive in the way that it makes you so turned off you won't want to have sex, maybe, she thought. Ironically she was turned on. She didn't want to admit it, she hated giving in.
But she was interested just to see how he thought he was going to convince her to let him go further.
"And not t' mention..." he reached down between them and ran his fingers along her gently, "y' wet..."
Hold it together, don't give in, she warned herself. He'll give in before you will, he'll beg.
"Y' remember how we...had that lil' discussion...about how I hated y' powers..." he gripped himself with one hand, manipulating himself against her, the gentle strokes were swaying her decision, he fondled her left breast gently, brushing a thumb lightly against her hardening nipple. Somehow she couldn't help but think of what the Professor said about how she should start caring about what she wanted.
Right now, she wanted Remy.
But the game of letting him think she didn't was far too much fun, it had to be frustrating him more than her.
"Ah remember," she said, half in a moan, body starting to shudder a little, she couldn't help but roll her hips up a little in tune with his moving himself against her. It was so organic and instinctual, so involuntary.
He let go of himself and put his hand against her and rubbed a little, he pushed his fingers into her, she stifled her moan by pressing her lips together.
Don't give in, don' give in, she thought desperately, squeezing her eyes shut. That thing is hideous...
"About how if I didn' have the limitations there's things I'd t' y' that woul' get y' off..." he reminded.
"Mmmhmm," she nodded, lips tightly sealed, the push of his fingers felt incredible. It never usually felt like this.
"About how I'd like t' tas' y'..." he whispered.
Oh god, how can he make it like this just by talking. What is it about his voice? Jesus, he could make money out of this...
Every worry she had about her life and what she was going to do about the circumstances right now had sailed out of the window, it was as if she'd forgotten who she was, about it all.
All that mattered was that moment. On his soft warm bed, the feel of the incredibly fine Egyptian cotton beneath her nude skin, the feel of his exquisite touch.
"Open y' eyes..." he leaned forward and breathed heavily against her ear.
The instruction caught her slightly off guard, she opened them to look into his eyes, the gaze was intense; he had all the power, it was no wonder he could have his way with any woman he wanted. There was no way anyone could turn down the power of those eyes!
No, don't let him win, that thing is a monstrosity...it's not going to feel sexy...
He took his hand from her and raised it to his lips, making a show of slowly grazing his tongue against the tip of his middle finger to taste the evidence of her longing.
She gasped, there was something a little disgusting about the act and at the same time, so powerfully intense that her muscles tightened, it was nearly enough to get her close. She ached for him and there was no point in trying to fight it now. He'd won.
She groaned the words before realising what she was saying, "fuck me..."
He laughed low in his throat, "thought y'd see it my way..." he manipulated himself against her a little, teasing her more. Was he deliberately making her wait now?
"What are you doin'?" she shuddered.
"Jus' warmin' y' up a lil' more..." he advised, a look of concentration and bliss on his face.
"Ah'm warm enough," she gasped, "come on!" she almost yelled, getting close to smacking him.
"I need y' t' be really warmed up..." He shifted himself against her, "this ain' gon' be like other times...this gon' be real different..."
"Remy..." she moaned, getting beyond frustration.
"No restraint this time..." he chewed his lip, "Y' wan' know why I got the reputation I got..." he lifted her a little more, shifting another pillow under her, "Y' about t' find out..."
She looked at him questioningly and then let out a sharp moan as he thrust forward. It came unexpectedly, and it was deeper than she had expected it to be. She'd never thought of him as being particularly large but she suddenly found herself wondering if she'd underestimated his size.
He'd been honest when he'd said there was going to be no restraint. She'd thought the last time being with him had been slightly more vigorous but it was nothing compared to this time. It was hard to not moan, it was somewhere between pleasure and pain, a whole new world of intensity she had never experienced. He twisted her in positions she'd never thought possible, he was inventive and imaginative, and used a variation of speeds and rhythms, slowing down to gentle paces and then building up to a rough speed that left her grunting on each thrust.
The build up was more intense, he knew when to slow, to let it settle before starting again, he knew her limit and never pushed further, letting her get almost to the point of climax and then slowing back down. She'd thought he was trying to frustrate her but each time she got close it grew more and more intense she could barely stand it. It was the kind of sex she'd only ever read of in novels and seen in movies.
God Ah hope Logan can't hear us, she thought, her body flushing at the thought of it. She hoped Logan had enough sense to perhaps go downstairs to the sub-basement if he should start to hear suspicious noises like this. She wasn't sure she'd be able to look him in the eye tomorrow. Hell she wasn't sure she'd be able to look herself in the eye in the mirror when daylight came.
Her body was starting to ache and muscles started to burn with the strain of each new position. How much longer could he go on for? Had the boy been dosing himself with viagra? He was a machine that never seemed to lose stamina, he'd been going and going...how long had it been? An hour? More?
Her vision blurred and every muscle tightened to the point of extreme tension and pain, it was fireworks, it was explosions and dams bursting and earthquakes and tidal waves, it was earth shattering and intense. He pushed a hand against her mouth to stifle her scream; she bit down onto his palm a little, tasting the powdery residue of the glove, her body was shaking violently.
He let out a heavy and deep moan as he got there only a second later, and he collapsed against her, breathless and shuddering, soaking in sweat.
Her chest was rising and falling quickly, she lay there in bewilderment and shock, the blanket felt soaked beneath her. She pushed him off unceremoniously; he rolled over and lay there.
"Jesus," he breathed, exhaustion heavy in his voice, a strange laugh shuddering from his lips.
Rogue pulled herself up to sit and look between her legs; for a moment she'd expected to see blood on the previously pristine cream coloured covers. Oh god, what if it happened...what if it terminated itself? She thought in panic.
She gazed down to the sheet, it wasn't blood, just wet, she could see the large water mark. "Uh..." she began nervously.
"What's wrong?"
"Ah...Ah think Ah peed..."
He laughed at her, but didn't say anything to the subject. How could he be so calm? Had she peed on him?
"The beddin' is all wet..." she worried. Oh fuck, he just bought expensive new beddin' and Ah just peed over it! Is this that stupid pregnancy thing? Is this what happens? You lose control of your bladder?! Isn't it too soon for that? No one said this was gonna happen so soon!
"Don' worry 'bout it..."
"But...it's gonna smell..."
"It's okay, don' worry," he sighed contentedly.
"Remy, it'll smell bad if we don' change it now-" she stood up, her legs felt jelly-like, she almost keeled over and she had to hold onto the cabinet to stand still.
"It ain' pee."
"But-"
"Trus' me, y' didn' pee..." he laughed a little, still getting his breath back.
She looked at him confusedly, "Ah...don'...uhm...it's so..."
"I guess y' one of the lucky few."
Rogue wasn't sure what he particularly meant about being lucky, she didn't find anything particularly lucky nor sexy about this and yet he seemed overly pleased with himself about it all the same. After a moment, he got up and shed that godawful scroguard and the condom, he disposed of the condom discretely by wadding it in tissue, then threw the scroguard into a plastic bag and hid it under his bed (she hoped he was intending to clean it!) and pulled the top sheet from the bed, "it didn' soak through," he showed, he rolled the sheet up and threw it into his hamper, "I'll put it in the wash in the mornin'..."
"Is...sex always so...messy?" she asked uneasily, holding her arms across her bare breasts to hide them. She'd never noticed any mess before, it had never occurred to her to check. She caught sight of herself in the mirror standing there pale and naked, she didn't look pregnant, she felt a little relieved about that at least.
Remy went to his dresser and pulled a t-shirt out, he tossed it towards her, "pretty much..." he explained, "sometimes there ain' anythin'...sometimes a little wet spot..."
"That wasn't a spot..." she worried.
"It's fine...y' came...and it was a lil' more...enthusiastic...than we expected is all."
Rogue pulled the t-shirt on, suddenly feeling quite shy and embarrassed.
"What y' look so upset about?" he asked, "didn' y' like it?"
"Ah..." she swallowed, "Ah jus' didn't expect to mess the sheet up..."
"Oh don' worry..." he rubbed her arms, "I swear I don' mind."
Rogue pouted, this was so humiliating, he on the other hand was grinning from ear to ear. She'd never seen him with that kind of a smile before. She felt so childlike and inexperienced and he seemed to just know and accept things as the were. A person with a baby in them shouldn't have felt so much like a blubbering baby herself at that moment, but she did. Overly emotional and completely lost.
"C'mon, lets get some shut eye, I'll set my alarm so y' can be up t' leave before someone catch y'."
Rogue found her underwear and slipped them back on before climbing into the bed. He curled up behind her and embraced her; she was so aware of the smell of sex and sweat around him and herself, a strong musky smell that was strangely comforting in a way she couldn't explain. Remy sighed softly into her hair, he sounded strangely content and relaxed, she listened as his breathing slowed and became steady again.
Things are goin' so good, she thought as she held onto his arms, his right hand was pressed right against her stomach, unknowingly cradling the baby he had no idea he'd had part in creating. If Ah tell him about this, everythin' is gonna change.
"What y' thinkin'?" he asked softly.
"Just...about us," she answered honestly, she closed her eyes, "How good things are goin'..."
"They are goin' good," he agreed, he pulled her closer, "Everythin' kind o'...clickin', ain' it?"
"Yeah," she breathed, heart still pounding heavily in her chest.
"Never been like this before," he exhaled heavily near her neck.
Rogue found that hard to believe; he'd had so many romantic partners before there had to have been better times. She pushed it to the back of her mind, tried to tell herself he was trying to compliment her, trying to make her feel secure about their intimacy, trying to make her feel confident and reassured.
"I know it's gon' sound corny, chere, but...I really am lookin forward t' tomorrow..." he kissed her hair.
"Ah kind of am too," she confessed, she circled her fingers absently his hand, the one that was pressed against their baby. You're holdin' your baby in your hand, Remy...right now it's there, gettin' bigger every day. God, you'll freak. How am Ah supposed to tell you...it'd devastate you.
"I'm lookin' f' ward t' walkin' in wit' you, o' not bein' in the shadows wit' this."
"Remy?" she asked softly.
"Hmm?"
Ah'm pregnant...Ah'm havin' your baby...we can keep it and attempt to make this work...or you can ditch us and Ah'll have to find a way to cope alone or...Ah can take care of it...what do you think?
"What do you want for your birthday?" she asked softly, losing her nerve. Is it a baby or for your wife to get rid of a baby...
Remy paused, he stroked her belly absently, "Y' know what I want, chere. I wan' f' y' t' tell them all about us..."
Rogue felt her eyes tearing up. If Ah keep this baby...Ah'm gonna have to make them understand it's not because Ah made a bad choice...If Ah come out with our relationship first...maybe they won't see it as so bad. It ain' like the baby happened from a one night stand...it happened 'cause of love...
"Okay," she replied gently.
"Okay?" he asked, sounding slightly confused.
"Ah'll tell them."
He leaned up, hovering over her a little, "really?"
Rogue gazed up at him, a tear spilled down her temple at the right side of her head while the other tear trickled across her nose. "Yeah."
"Are...are you cryin'?" he asked.
"Ah'm just happy," she said tenderly, "Ah'm cryin' 'cause Ah'm happy."
He smiled, "I'm happy too..." he confessed, lay back down and pulled her closer, "Happier than I ever been."
She smiled, although the smile felt empty. She closed her eyes and felt herself drifting finally into an uneasy and unhappy but strangely satisfied sleep.
End of Part Thirty-Six
First update of the weekend, hope this was an enjoyable one. Yes, more sex, just to prove they are getting along and there's no fighting happening and that things seem to be getting better between them (even they realise it). I'm sure everyone had wondered when and where the "scroguard" was going to be coming back into the storyline, lol (wasn't Remy so smooth about how he mentioned he'd seen it in an article? Haha, completely withholding who showed him!). Sex scene was probably unnecessary but hell, they are a teenage couple and if they weren't at it (especially after she found out they could) I think it'd be unrealistic if they weren't at it at least a few times a month, lol). Hopefully it wasn't too gratuitous and it was somewhat likeable, I've never been good at writing this shit.
Thanks as always to those who reviewed over the past few chapters. As someone mentioned, yes, pregnancy isn't always given the "three month" limit for abortion, but this is fiction and I needed a time limit for Rogue to feel somewhat pressured (convenient for me a little, yes, and who knows, maybe Bayville has laws of their own).
Anyway, I have the next few parts to edit and hopefully will have the Halloween party parts up for this weekend too! Hope you're all having a good weekend :) Love you all and thanks so much for still taking the time to read and review, you're all awesome :)