BENEATH THE SURFACE
Part Forty-Four
He was standing at the alter waiting, his nerves shot with excitement and anticipation for the moment he would marry her. The first time had been real, but nothing felt more real than this. Nothing made him more nervous than standing there, ready to marry his wife again in front of everyone, declare his love in ways he'd wanted to for the past two years.
All the students and instructors of Xavier's were there in the chapel, it was an old old building with grey stone walls, candles giving the room a slight warmth and illuminating the garlands of white and black roses. Tante Mattie sat on the front pew at the right side, smiling proudly at him. The bridesmaids walked in, first came Tabitha, her hair up exquisitely in curls, shining in the candle light, her makeup soft and subtle, the black and white roses in her small bouquet were perfect, there were black and white roses in her hair. Kitty followed, her hair in a long French braid decorated with black roses and gypsophila. Remy noted her shoes were laughably white flipflops and he chuckled to himself. Jean was the last bridesmaid to walk in, her red hair up high in black roses and white lilies, she gave him a wink before she took her place.
The man of honour was indeed Kurt, as Rogue had told him he would be, he was wearing a white suit jacket with a black brocade waistcoat showing beneath, and black dress pants. A black rose was his buttoneer.
And then Remy saw Rogue. She looked stunning in a black and white gown, the toulle a mix of black and white layers, tiny black and white roses seemed to button up layers of it, tiny little gems catching the light. Her black bustier sparkled and shimmered with gems every time she moved. Her makeup was dark and intense, her eyes brighter in contrast, her lips a deep dark pouting red that made him yearn to kiss her so much his body ached. Her hair was so long.. down to her waist, hanging in curls around her bare white arms, she'd taken so long to grow it for the wedding...he was so aware of it.
It had been a fantasy until that moment, until Rogue finally got to his side, and Logan – who had walked her down the aisle – passed her hand over to Remy.
And as Remy turned to face the priest, he realised it was Jean-Luc.
The colour seemed to drain out of everything in the room, the sound, the wedding music, everything changed. The fresh cut roses began to wither, the petals falling from the garlands up on the arches, the candles went out and the room was plunged into a cold eerie half-light. Remy turned to face Rogue and saw her that the dress had changed, it wasn't black and white any more.
It was red.
On closer inspection, he realised it wasn't that the dress had changed colour, it was that there was blood on it, that it was soaked in it, every spot of white was gone!
"What have you done?!" cried Logan.
Remy turned back towards Jean-Luc, to demand what he'd done to Rogue but he saw that no one was there. Helplessly, he turned to see his wife and saw her crumpling to the floor, a pool of blood spreading around her toulle.
He dropped to his knees in panic, tried to find a wound but couldn't, there was nothing he could see, just wetness and blood, the toulle sticking to his fingers as he tried to find out where the blood was coming from. "Marie! No!" he begged as he noticed her eyelids begin to flutter as the life began to leave her body, she was paler than he'd ever seen her, like Snow White, beautiful and ghost-like in that dress of blood red and black.
Her eyes opened one last time to give him a look, she tried to say something but the air seemed to leak out of her open mouth in a soft hiss like a deflating bag of air and she sank in his arms, arms flopping to her sides lifeless and limp.
"Marie! No! Don' leave me...please..." he begged of her. "Don' leave me!"
He looked around the church for help but no one was there any more, just empty pews, no evidence they'd ever been there at all. As he dropped his eyes to see his wife again, he saw her lifeless body disintegrate in his arms, the dust falling away from the dress until there was nothing but the bloody fabric left.
A footstep at his side told him he wasn't completely alone.
Everyone else had left except from Jean-Luc. He was never going to leave.
"Y' took everythin' away from me!" Remy howled.
"Now y' know how it feels t' have the love of y' life taken from y'!"Jean-Luc yelled at him, his voice resonated over the church, bouncing from walls, multiplying, it sounded as if there were many of him, all screaming. The echoes shattered the stained glass of the windows, they caved in, shattering on the stone floor loudly. "An' now I'm gon' take y' life too! Jus' like y' took mine! I'm gon' stand here and watch the life drain out o' y' jus' like I watched it drain out o' y' wife."
Remy swallowed hard, gazing at the zombified image of his father, the man he never remembered him being.
"Y' wanted me t' die! And I did."
"It's not the same...y' died in hospital! Y' died an alcoholic!" Remy backed himself away from Jean-Luc, nerves on fire.
"It mus' have been a fucker, huh? When they tol' y' I wasn' gon' die that night! Y' wanted so much f' me t' die!" he moved faster towards Remy, closing in.
Remy backed himself further, he felt something beneath his hand, a shard of glass from the window. He tightened his hand around it.
"If I'd never been put there, I'd have never died...it was y' fault son...and now y' gon' have pay. Now I'm gon' watch y' die, jus' like y' intended t' do wit' me."
"Y' took everythin' from me," Remy managed again, "If I'm gon' die, I'm takin' you wit' me!"
He thrust the shard towards the stomach of the zombified Jean-Luc, stabbing and stabbing, he felt the pain of the glass shredding through his palm. Jean-Luc let out a howl of pain, his teeth bared from the lipless mouth. Remy heard the thick sound of the shard as it slipped into his adopted father's belly, he looked down to see black gunge spreading over his hand, spilling over the coloured shard of glass. He raised his eyes to see Jean-Luc again, wanting to see the last dregs of life slipping from the zombie of the bastard.
It wasn't Jean-Luc's face any more. It was Rogue's.
He gazed down at his hand, he felt the pain cutting through his skin, felt the hot sticky wetness of the red blood spilling over his hand, seeping through the light grey of her pyjama shirt. He let a gasp out and released the shard in his hand, "chere..."
Rogue's face was caught in a perpetual expression of shock, her eyes wide, her mouth a perfect 'o', there was blood spilling from her nose.
"Chere...?" he asked in a tiny voice.
The room around them was as it had been when he'd been falling asleep, except the mirror on the dresser was shattered, and they were on the floor, Rogue leaning over him, her hands pressed against his shoulders as if she'd been trying to hold him down.
Remy looked back down to the shard embedded in her belly, he saw the trails of blood spilling from the blunt end right onto him, he felt it warm and wet, sticking his t-shirt to his skin.
"Marie..." he gasped, her eyes fluttered. "No...no...it wasn' you...it wasn'..." he felt his vision blur with tears, his heart slamming hard with panic. "It wasn' you!"
She dropped her eyes to the shard in her belly, and she took a hold of it and yanked it out, the blood poured out of the wood.
"No!" he cried out, he pushed his hands against the bleeding wound, he couldn't feel her skin, felt no draining. Where was the wound? "Chere...!"
"Remy..." she groaned in strangled pain.
"Chere! Stay wit' me..." he pleaded. He began yelling for help. Where the hell was Logan? Hadn't he heard this commotion? Remy tried to make sense of what had happened. One moment he'd been falling asleep listening to the details of their future wedding, and then the nightmare...
Somehow it had all spilled into reality. He'd thought he'd been killing Jean-Luc, not his wife.
Tabitha appeared at the door sleepily, her hair all over her face, her eyes puffy. "Remy, what the fuck is all the yelling...I can hear everything from downstairs..." she stared blankly at the scene for a moment, and then she spied the blood seeping out all over the place. "Remy..." Tabitha whispered in fear, "what...what happened...?"
"I didn'...I...it wasn' her...it was him...it was him."
Tabitha rushed over as Rogue keeled over to the floor, eyelids fluttering as the life drained away from her. "Oh my god...Rogue..." she managed in a tiny voice.
"Get someone!" Remy pleaded of her, "please! Now! I can't let her die...I can't..."
Rogue felt groggy; there was an intense pain to her gut as she felt herself coming in and out of consciousness, the pain seemed so intense it kept bringing her out again. There was something on her face, she felt it pressing into her cheeks and pushing hard against her nose.
"She's too weak, I barely feel it..." came Logan's voice, there was strain in his voice, she heard the tightness he held in his throat, emotion pulling at him.
"Keep holding on," Hank instructed, "she's absorbing, the bleeding is slowing..."
She tried to open her eyes, her lids fluttered, there was an intense bright light above her.
"She's comin' to..."
Pain ripped through her, she tried to move, tried to cry out. Everything had happened so fast, how did she get here? She recognised the sound of the air vent in the sub-basement emergency room, the way it clattered slightly, it was the only room that made that nose.
She thought to think, Remy had woken her up, he had been struggling, yelling in his sleep, thrashing, she'd gotten whacked in the face by his elbow, it had made her nose bleed. "Remy..." she gasped.
"Be still..." she felt Hank's strong hand hold her down, "you've been seriously injured, you must lie still and let Logan heal you..."
"Where's...Remy..." she managed weakly.
"Remy is safe, don't worry..." Hank squeezed her shoulder, "now just relax..."
She saw brief faint glimpses of Logan's memories, she saw glimpses of herself soaked in blood on Remy's bedroom floor. "Please..." she croaked, "Ah need him here..."
All she could think at that moment that despite what Logan was trying to do she was dying, and she needed her husband there. The thought of dying without him hurt almost as the wound to her gut.
"Ah can't die without seein' him..."
"You're not gonna die," Logan said almost angrily.
"The bleeding is stemming more, it's working," Hank said to Logan.
Logan gripped onto Rogue's bare hand hard, "come on, kiddo," he said softly, "I told you there'd be a day when you'd have to use your powers..."
"Didn't think it'd be on you though..." she breathed sharply. "Hurts so much..."
"Sssh, the pain will be over soon..."
"Can't you give her something?" Logan asked.
"With your powers coursing through her, the drugs I have would barely make impact," Hank replied, he stroked Rogue's hair with a gloved hand.
"Remy..." Rogue tried again. Why had he stabbed her? She tried to think, it had all happened so fast. The scuffle; he'd looked like he was awake but there was a strange distance in his eyes and he'd moved as in a daze, he hadn't been seeing her. The mirror had been broken by his elbow as she'd tried to tackle him to get him to come to his senses, it had all been so quick.
And then she'd felt the pain to her gut, the sharp intense pain of glass sliding into her, twisting through her.
"He's fine, the Professor is with him," Hank kept stroking her hair, "he's all right."
Rogue doubted Remy was all right, "Ah need him...Ah need to know what happened..." she groaned.
"Not now," Logan put his hand against her forehead, his bare hand was hot and clammy, she felt the faint pull of her powers against him, it was so much weaker than it usually was. How close to death had she been. "Just focus on absorbing my healing..."
"Is she going to be all right?"
Rogue tried to open her eyes but the lights above her were too bright; she recognised Tabitha's voice at the door; it surprised her to even know she was there at all asking about her.
"Tabitha, you can't be here right now," Hank responded. "Go to bed."
"I can't sleep," Tabitha admitted softly, "I had to make sure she's all right..."
"She's going to be fine, she'll absorb Logan's powers and tomorrow she'll be on the mend," Hank said, sounding slightly exasperated, "now, please, go to-"
Tabitha drew a soft breath, "What about the baby?"
There was a thick heavy silence in the room suddenly; Rogue couldn't hold her eyes open, the bright light Hank had hanging over her so he could examine her wound for healing was far too bright. Rogue didn't need to see the three of them to know they were looking at each other.
"Tabitha," Hank sighed, "please go to bed."
Rogue knew by the silence, by the lack of an answer what the reality was; she'd been stabbed so badly, so deeply...
It was unlikely that the pregnancy was going to survive that, even if Logan could heal her.
"It's okay..." she croaked. "It...it was never meant to be," she whispered in pain, she felt her eyes sting with tears of both pain and sadness, they slid down her temples.
"Ssh," Logan stroked her forehead gently, his powers seeping weakly into her like the trickle of water from a clogged fountain, "just rest."
"It wasn' her," Remy kept repeating over and over, he was pacing frantically across the small space in the brig, left, right, back forth, circling anxiously, arms flailing, not knowing how to rid himself of the nervous energy that plagued him while he didn't know what was happening to his wife right that moment. "It wasn' her! It wasn' her..."
"I understand that," said the Professor from the other side of the door.
"I saw him! He was so real..." Remy stopped in the middle of the room, his voice trembled, "he hurt her, he kill her, he was gon' kill me..."
"Remy, please stop."
"I need t' see her!"
"Right now, I'm afraid I can't allow that."
Remy understood the necessity of his being locked away here in the brig, but at the same time, his mind was racing with terror that Rogue may die. "I need t' see her!" Remy yelled, "she's my wife! I shoul' be there!"
"Remy, she's in a critical condition right now, no one is allowed to see her..."
"I didn' try t' kill her! I know what y' thinkin'...y' thinkin' this was deliberate, that I did this deliberately! Broke the mirror, took the piece o' glass and ram it in her! Why woul' I do that?! I love her!"
"No one is accusing you of anything right now," the Professor replied from the other side of the door, his voice was calm but Remy detected the strain of worry in his voice.
"Is she gon' be all right?" Remy moved to the door and stared through the small open hatch, he could barely see the Professor at all, only a small view of his bald shiny head.
"Right now, Logan and Hank are doing everything they can," the Professor responded, "that's all I can tell you. I'm afraid I must go now, and see if there's any assistance I can offer."
"Y' gon' leave me here?!" Remy asked, "On my own?!"
"Right now, I can't trust you enough to be out on your own. I understand that you weren't seeing what you thought you saw, but for now for the safety of my students I have to insist on you staying locked inside there."
"But I can' be on my own!" he yelled, "he'll fin' me here!"
"Remy, please," the Professor sighed.
"Please," Remy slammed on the door, "I need t' see her."
"Calm yourself!" warned the Professor. "I will return shortly."
"Please!" Remy called out, he heard the hum of the Professor's chair down the hall. "Please!" he cried out, he slammed on the door with his injured hand, "don' leave me alone in here!"
"Y' were never alone," came a voice at his back.
Remy didn't dare turn around, he let his head rest against the cold steel door, he let out a sob of despair. "Y' ain' real...y' ain' real."
"I was always real..."
He let out a shuddering breath, "why won' y' leave?"
"Why? I can't go until y' admit what it was y' done that makes it hard t' let me go."
"I didn' do anythin'," Remy turned to look at Jean-Luc, there was barely anything but skeleton left, rotten flesh hanging from bone, decaying more and more every time he saw him.
"Maybe that's it...maybe it's that y' didn' do anythin'," Jean-Luc frowned. "Maybe 'cause y' stood there an' watched me chokin' t' death an' y' liked that."
"I never-"
"Don' bullshit, I ain' stupid. Y' stood there with that dark triumphant look in y' eyes like you had won, Remy. I struggled f' breath and y' did nothin' t' help me!"
Remy stood facing Jean-Luc, trying to remember it. The sight of him hanging from the couch, the vomit on the floor, the smell of it in the air mixed with the smell of the chicken he'd cooked that the bastard had thrown against the wall with accusations that he'd tried to poison him.
"Y' remember, don' y'?" Jean-Luc demanded coldly, "how I reach out f' help and y' jus' stood there laughin' at me?! How y' moved back and jus' stood there and watch as I pass out!"
He pressed his back against the cold door, trembling.
"Y' put down them two bottles y' brought from duty free and y' tol' me t' drink up...knowin' I was gon' get poisoned from it..."
"I never threw it down y' fuckin' throat!" Remy retorted.
"Y' hand an addict his vice an' y' think y' got no han' in his death?!" Jean-Luc demanded. "Y' wan' me t' die that night, and y' only regret was that she came in an' foun' y' watchin' me die!"
It wasn't how he remembered it. He remembered feeling a strange blankness, a sense of no emotion at all, inability to do anything but just stand there and do nothing. He couldn't remember seeing Jean-Luc choke. He couldn't even remember wanting him to drink himself into oblivion with those two bottles of good Scotch.
Remy rubbed his throbbing head, "that's not what happened..."
"It happened exactly that way! Y' wan' t' kill me so y' coul' walk away."
"I didn' kill you!"
"Not directly," Jean-Luc snorted, "But y' had a hand in it. You and her."
"Y' were already one foot in the fuckin' grave when we arrived! Why y' destroyin' everythin' around me, destroyin' my life when it were all your fault?! Everythin' y' did! Vivienne's death...the way I turn out! Why I ran away! Y' drinkin', y' gamblin'! The way Henri turned out t' be a fuckup! None of that was me!"
Jean-Luc gave an almost delighted chuckle, "y' think I'm destroyin' everythin' around y'? Y' think that's me?"
Remy frowned at him.
"Everythin' happenin' around y'...y' think that's been me. Y' think that's Jean-Luc?!" Jean-Luc grabbed him by the throat and spun him around powerfully, pushing him towards the distorted reflection of the steel wall, "what d' y' see?!"
Remy tried not to choke.
"What d' y' see?!" Jean-Luc demanded again.
In terror, Remy stared ahead at his own reflection. Jean-Luc wasn't part of it. "Me..." he whispered, trembling.
Remy realised it was his own hand upon his throat, gripping hard. He let out a little gasp and dropped his hand, feeling his body crumple beneath him, he knelt there, staring at his own reflection, he reached out and touched it. There'd never been anyone but him this entire time...
Everything Dr. Forbes had said was true, everything he'd denied. The Professor was right to lock him in here...he wasn't fit to be with others. Horror struck him that he had done that to Rogue somehow himself, everything he'd done...it had been some kind of unconscious act...
"Remy..."
He raised his eyes to the hatch on the door, it had still been left open, he saw two small tan hands on the bars, Tabitha pulling herself up to see through.
"Tabitha..." he managed, "Y' shouldn' be here..." he said in a strangled voice, his own grasp upon his throat had left his voice hoarse. Or that may have just been the yelling and sobbing over Rogue and what he'd done.
"I had to see you," Tabitha gasped, "I can't believe they're going to keep you in here..."
Remy stared down at the floor, "best place f' me..."
"What?" Tabitha asked, "but...but you didn't do it..."
"Y' saw it y'self, Tabitha...I was the only person in the room wit' her...there was blood on my hands...there's cuts on my palms..." he lifted his hands and gazed at them, they were store and raw, still seeping blood. The Professor hadn't even attempted to dress them; the situation with Rogue was far more urgent than Remy's hands.
Remy was certain he even deserved to have his wounds dressed.
"But it was the ghost...wasn't it?"
He raised his eyes to the blonde, she was gazing through the bars at him, eyes wide and believing.
"It was me..." he breathed, "I did it...I did this..."
"Remy-"
"There was no ghost...Jean-Luc is dead an' buried...he never came back...he's never been here at all..."
"What are you talking about?" Tabitha looked frightened.
"It's been me...I been doin' this...doin' it t' myself...all the things happenin'...everythin' goin' wrong...it's been me..." he breathed nervously. "I...I did this t' myself..."
"You're not making sense..." Tabitha shook her head at him.
"Y' need t' get out o' here...fore y' get sucked int' this..."
"I can't leave you like this!" Tabitha gasped, "Remy, you can't be alone right now, look at you..."
"I'm not gon' hurt anyone else..." he drew his breath, "already hurt my wife...please...go..."
"But-"
"I said go!" he yelled. Tabitha flew back from the door as if she'd been pushed by an invisible force, he heard her thump against the wall behind her, he heard her cry of surprise and pain as she hit it.
Remy pulled himself up and moved to the bars to look out, Tabitha was pulling herself to her feet, her expression frantic.
"Remy..."
"I'm nothin' but a liability...Jean-Luc was right..." Remy pressed his head against the bars. "Please go...I don' wan' hurt anyone else..."
He heard her running down the hall, her slippers making a loud patting on the steel floors.
And then he was alone, not even the presence of Jean-Luc was lingering by him. There was no smell, no cold air around him, no distinct feeling of being watched and examined like a bug under a microscope. He was finally alone.
End of Part Forty-Four
I bet a few are glad that she never told Remy now, eh? How would he live with himself after what just happened if he knew?! Kudos to the person who predicted something bad was going to happen (then again I bet most of you did, lol).
Aaah, not long to go now. Don't know if I'll be putting more up tonight or not, got a bit of pain at the moment. Thanks to all for their thoughtful reviews! They always mean a lot (looks like Tabitha redeemed herself in a few's eyes? Lol). Anyways...off to take a painkiller and see if I can edit 45. Hope you all enjoy :)