Uhmm... I wouldn't say enjoy this chapter. Well, hope you can bear this chapter! Sorry if it's not.. I don't know hahahah I just don't know what to feel about this chapter.

Anyway, happy reading! lol

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-Maxon's POV-

One of my subjects was presenting about budget allocations for the year. I knew how important this was, ever since my father died I've been running the country blindingly; trying to take a grasp of everything at once but failing to do so. My father never truly taught me how to run the country, he just kept on imposing things on me; I never really had a choice but now, everything has been shoved to me. Everything pointed to me and my decisions. And it frightens me. What if I made the wrong choices? What if I become a much worse ruler than my father? These things have been haunting me, ever since I took all of the responsibilities, but what worries me as of this meeting, relates nothing to those. I haven't seen America since I left her room this morning. She didn't come to eat breakfast and lunch. I heard from one of her maids that she would also do the same for dinner. I tapped the pen I was holding and then started biting on its end. The presenter seem to notice that I wasn't paying attention anymore.

"Is everything all right, Your Highness?" He asked, pushing his spectacles up his nose bridge.

For a moment I was disoriented. I felt really ashamed. How could I put my personal worries first, before the country? "I'm just having a bad day." I explained. He nodded and started discussing again.

The meeting finished rather early and miraculously I was able to listen through it all. I immediately gathered my things and ran towards my office to leave them there. Afterwards, I walked briskly towards the direction of America's room. I knocked on her door but no one answered. 'Where are her maids?' I pondered. Seeing that no one was responding to my knocks, I decided to just barge my way in.

America was lying in her bed, she looked at me in bewilderment.

"Why didn't you open the door? And where are your maids?" I asked worriedly, sitting on the edge of her bed. I noticed her moving farther away at the other side of the bed. Her back facing away from me.

"Just not today, Maxon. I'm not in the mood." She murmured against a pillow.

I crawled towards her side and laid beside her. "Hey, what's the problem? You can tell me." I said softly.

She shook her head, still facing away from me. "I'm just not feeling well."

"Do you want me to get the doctor?" I asked.

"No. I'm ok, I just need to rest."

"You sure?" I just can't help but worry.

"I'm sure."

I decided to check her temperature with my hand but as soon as I touched her, she quickly slapped it away and sat up. "Maxon, what are you doing?!"

"What's wrong?" I said, trying to hide the hurt I felt from her rejection.

"Why are you so god damn persistent? I'm ok, OK? " Her voice sounding annoyed.

I knew it; something was wrong. This wasn't like her. "You're hiding something from me, aren't you?" I questioned.

For a second she froze but then she quickly composed herself and started making up an excuse "I—Why are you so full of yourself?! What makes you think I'm hiding something? The world doesn't revolve around you, Maxon! I don't have anything to say and I don't need to tell you about everything!"

I bit my lips, containing the frustration I felt. "Just tell me, America." I said firmly.

"I'm not hiding anything."

I stood up and combed my hair with my right hand, disgruntled. Why does it always end up like this? As soon as we're settled and fine, this happens. "I'm tired of this, America. Why can't you just simply say it?! Why do you always have to complicate things?! You're so… so-" I withheld my tongue. If I go any further I don't know what I'd be able to say.

"'SO' what?! Well I'm so sorry for making it hard for you, your highness." She said sarcastically, bringing emphasis to my title, which resulted to fueling my anger even more.

"God, America why do you have to be so immature?" I rolled my eyes at her.

"ME? Immature? Talk about yourself!" she shouted, her eyes started to brim with tears.

"Stop it, America." I said stiffly.

"NO" She paused. "You stop!"

"Why are you acting like this?" I questioned.

"BECAUSE you won't leave me alone!" she exasperated.

Her words hit me so hard that I felt like my world stopped for a moment. Why doesn't she understand? "Is it wrong, America? You've been away for a week but it felt like a lifetime for me. Since the day you left, you were the only thing I could think of. When it was too much for me, I just stopped thinking; stopped living. My world was shattered and I didn't care; but when you came back. When I saw you in the woods, every ache and hurt I felt during that week, vanished like it never happened. I want to always be with you, is that wrong? Tell me. Is loving wrong?" my voice ending in a faint whisper.

She closed her eyes, as if trying to take control of whatever she felt. She took a big breath before talking again "It isn't, Maxon. Loving I mean. But loving ME is wrong."

I looked at her with confusion. "I've always loved you. Are you telling me, ever since that day I fell in love with you, I was doing something wrong?"

She shook her head and looked at me her eyes filled with despair. "It's not that, Maxon. It wasn't. But you are engaged now! We can't continue on doing this." She reasoned out.

I knew she was right but what can I do? When both my mind and heart was screaming for her? When the only thing withholding me from her, was my duty as a royal and as a ruler of Illea. "I know. I've been trying but I can't, America. I just can't."

She covered her face with her hands and dropped back to her bed. "I knew it was a wrong idea to take this job."

"Don't say that." My voice filled with hurt. I let out a sigh and laid back beside her. I looked at her, who was still covering her eyes. "Hey." I said as I removed one of her hands from her face. She looked at me and I came forward to kiss her. Her eyes widened in shock and then she broke the kiss.

"We haven't done that for a long time." I said, sadly. Recalling the last day of the selection.

"We shouldn't, Maxon." She said, but it somehow sounded like she was telling it to herself.

"We shouldn't" I agreed, as I came closer to her until we were finally breaths apart.

"We shouldn't" She whispered and I finally closed the gap between our lips.

The kiss was slow and steady first but eventually turned out into something more passionate and hungry. I entwined my fingers into her hair and further deepened the kiss. Not getting enough of her. I've missed her so much. The way she smiled. The way she carried herself. The way she joked. The way she made me feel like this. Everything. I've missed everything about her. I broke the kiss and looked into her eyes before finally going further.

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America started crying after we finished, her hands trying to wipe all the tears that fell. I brought her closer to me and hugged her. "What's the problem?"

"This is wrong, Maxon." She cried out. "We shouldn't have done this! Oh god, I'm such a despicable person."

"Don't say that! Don't ever say that. " I pleaded.

"But I am, Maxon!" She looked at me, her eyes very red from all that crying. "She told me to stay away from you but I didn't! And now, we—we've done THIS! What does this make of me?" She sobbed.

"Nothing!" I quickly answered, enveloping her in my arms. "It was me who wanted and initiated it, America. Did Kriss tell you that?"

"It doesn't matter who initiated what. The thing is, I didn't stop you. And so what if it was, Kriss? She has every right to say such things to me." She explained.

Even though what she said was true, I couldn't help but be angry at Kriss. 'Maxon, stop it. Kriss, isn't the problem here it's you.' I told myself. "She should have told me, not you."

She shook her head. "No. She was perfectly right to do so. Let's stop this. We've gone too far, Maxon."

"But—"

"But what? What will this arrangement make of us? If we do continue this, Maxon, what will become of me? A mistress? Do you want me to stoop down that low?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"No. No. I wouldn't let that happen!" I cried.

"Then let's stop this." She concluded. "That's all I've been asking for. Let's not complicate things any further or else we'll just end up hurting each other."

I felt weak and helpless. She was right. How can I be this selfish? I would never let her stoop down to such a level. I cupped her face and give her one last kiss, before nodding in agreement. "You're right."

She smiled at me, a tear cascaded down her right cheek.

"I love you, America." I don't want to end this. Not ever.

"I love you too" She replied. "Good bye, Maxon."

I closed my eyes, trying to contain the storm of emotions inside of me. "Good bye." I smiled weakly.

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I went back to my room afterwards. I saw a pen and paper lying on my desk, and started writing. I was writing to no one in particular. I just had to.

Love isn't everything as people think it is. But it can be 'everything' to a person. Sometimes no matter how much you fight for it, you'll still lose. Sometimes, no matter how much you love, it will never be given to you. This is the reality.

Love can bring bliss and pain to a person. It can either make or break you. For me, it was both. SHE transformed me. Changed me into a person that I would want to be, a person who could stand on his own. A person with moral. A person who had sympathy and empathy. A person who could and knew how to love. She made my world. She made me realize what being alive truly meant.

But now that it was time to stop what we had, it feels as if a huge chunk of me was taken away. It's painful to think we can never be together. It feels as if I'm drowning; like I'm dying. Like suddenly I've realized that no matter how much I walked inside a tunnel, I can never see the light. But even though I'm aching so much right now, I'm still happy to love—to have loved HER, and not anyone else.

I find it amusing, how love comes in unexpected ways. You cannot choose who to love, you cannot force yourself to love someone, at the same time you cannot force someone to love you. But once you do fall, you just cannot stop it. No matter how much you resist. You fall. And for me, I fell really hard.

I don't know how to stop this feeling. It's as if someone told me to stop the works of gravity. I love her and only her. I'll try to resist but I know, that no matter what, I wouldn't be able to and I will still keep on falling.