It's been so long since I last wrote chapter 19! I never thought that I'd continue writing this story but I did. I'm kind of rusty though since it's been so long since I wrote something. :)) Anyway, CatherineAmes actually wrote a continuation from where I left off last time. Check hers out if you can! :)

Hopefully you'll like this chapter and fingers crossed: I hope I finish this story before Christmas break ends.

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-America's POV-

He was beautiful. His tiny fingers curled into the palm of his hands and his coppery blonde hair waved softly on my shoulders as I carried him in my arms. As early as now, I could tell he was so much like his father. The only things different were his pale complexion and his piercing deep blue eyes. I knew everything I did was worth it. He was my angel— "my little Maxon. " I whispered and giggled after. And somehow for the faintest second I could swear he was also smiling.

"Yes my dear?" Maxon whispered back, wrapping an arm around my waist. I could feel his smile as he kissed the back of my neck. I shivered at his touch and so I twisted my head so that I could give him a peck on the lips.

"Sorry to tell you but I wasn't talking to you." I teased.

He rolled his eyes at me and hugged me tightly. "You said my name, my dear."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes at him. "I was talking to the baby." I said in-a-matter-of-fact manner.

"So?" He said smugly.

I looked at him weirdly. "So, I wasn't talking to you." I chuckled. "Weird-o."

"Well earlier you said our baby was your little Maxon, so that makes him a 'weird-o' also?" He smirked.

My eyes grew big in irritation and amusement at the same time. That's Maxon to me. Sometimes I feel like I've been actually taking care of a child ever since I met him. "WHAT? NO! Aghh so you were actually…" Before I could finish my sentence the alarms went on.

"The rebels!" I panicked. Somehow, I felt like this has happened before, I just can't pinpoint when it was.

"Calm down America, it's going to be ok." Maxon comforted me. He stood up from the bed and peeked out of the room. "Looks like they haven't infiltrated the inner part of the palace yet. We should hurry into the safe rooms."

I watched him put on a robe for a few seconds before I snapped back from my trance. I quickly put on my robe and carried our baby into my hands. As we headed towards the safe rooms a rebel came into view.

"What do we do?" I said shakily as I embraced our child a little bit tighter.

He looked at me, his eyes telling me that there wasn't any other option. "There's no other choice but to take a detour...or do you want me to distract the rebel while you both go to the safe rooms?"

"No! Never. Let's—just take the detour" I said unsure. I felt like if we separated something would go wrong. That I'd lose him. I can't bear to think that I'll lose Maxon. 'This really feels like a deja vu' I suddenly thought.

Brushing it away, I followed Maxon's lead as he exited the hallways and entered into the gardens. As we neared the safe rooms a sudden shot of pain coursed through my abdomen and spread throughout my body. I fell down in effect. My motherly instincts kicked in so I shielded the baby as we hit bottom.

"America!" I heard Maxon's voice shout in horror while he ran towards me.

"Tha baby." I let out.

"What baby?" He asked in panic and bewilderment.

"Our baby! For god's sake, Maxon, our baby of course!" I replied angrily. I looked down to see if our baby was ok but he was nowhere in sight. "The baby!" I looked at Maxon, my eyes frightened.

Maxon just stared at me as if I was insane. "America, stop joking around. We don't have a baby."

"WE DO!" I shouted. 'What the hell is wrong with Maxon!' I screamed inside.

He shook his head and signed as if this has already happened before. He looked into my eyes, his eyes telling me to drop the conversion earlier and very calmly he said "Take deep breath, America." And so I did. "Let's get into a safe room first, ok?"

"WHAT ABOUT OUR BABY?!" I exasperated.

"There is no baby." He replied stiffly.

"What are you talking about?!" I shouted. "He was with us earlier in bed! How can you say that?" tears cascaded down my cheeks.

"Drop it, America. Stop talking nonsense." he said. I could sense a hint of authority and annoyance in his voice which fueled my anger even more.

"What is wrong with you?!" I shouted. I stood up from the ground. My body was still aching from the pain I felt earlier but I couldn't care. "I'm going to look for him." I said firmly.

I heard him call for me but I just continued on staggering away. Halfway through I suddenly felt something push me. When I opened my eyes I was in a dark place, like an abyss. I suddenly heard someone crying and I thought of our baby. "The baby." I muttered. I stood up and started walking again, searching for the source of the crying. And then I saw him, laying a few meters away. I ran towards him and carried him into my arms. "Don't cry. Mommy's here." I cooed, rocking him gently in my arms.

He looked at me, smiling and I couldn't help but smile back but then it became dark again. I couldn't see anything. I held my baby closer. Then in a few seconds the light came back and now he started crying. The crying got louder and louder; and then there was blood. A lot of blood. Maxon then appeared before me, tears rolling down his face, his body shaking. I looked at his hands, and it was covered in blood. I looked at myself, and I saw that I was bathed in IT.

"I'm so sorry America." He said looking away from me guiltily. "I'm so sorry."

I shrieked in terror.

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I opened my eyes. It was morning. I was inside a room. I could hear a beeping sound. There was a dextrose attached to me. I pulled myself up from the bed and looked around. No one was inside the room.

I was in a daze for a while before I remembered what happened last time. I quickly removed the comforter from my body and looked down to my stomach as my hands tried to feel the bump that was supposed to be there. "My baby. My baby. My baby." I cried, still searching for him. "WHERE'S MY BABY!" I screamed, my face showing anguish.

Nurses flooded into the room. "She woke up." I heard someone say.

"She's disoriented." said another. "What should we do?"

"Where's my baby?" I asked, my voice low, desperate, and shaking.

"My Queen, please calm down." said the blonde nurse.

I was furious. "Calm down?! CALM DOWN? How do you expect me to calm down when I don't even know what happened to my baby?!" I shouted. I tried to get up but they pushed me down. I struggled to get out from their grasps when Doctor. Matthew and Maxon came in.

"Let her go." Maxon said firmly. I could sense a hint of anger from his tone.

"We're deeply sorry, your Highness." They replied in unison, releasing me from their hold.

I looked at Maxon, my eyes asking. "The baby?" He looked at Doctor Matthew hesitantly and Doctor Matthew nodded in return. He combed his right hand through his hair before looking at me. Clearing his throat he said. "America—"

Without hearing it, I knew. Both my heart and stomach plummeted down. "No... no. no. no. NO!" I cried. "He's just in some other room, am I right?" It was a stupid question to ask when I already know the answer but I just couldn't accept it. "He's here. I know it." I lied to myself.

Maxon looked at me, heartbroken. I could see tears forming in his eyes. Shaking his head while his voice trembled he replied "He— he didn't make it."

"You're lying!" I sobbed. "Stop lying." I cried for what seemed like an eternity when I thought of a ludicrous idea. "This is just another dream." I said to myself. "Yes. I just need to wake up." I convinced myself. "I need to wake up." I choked, looking up to Maxon.

I could feel my whole body shaking as I wailed. I felt Maxon embrace me and I embraced him back. "Our baby… our baby." I cried, burying my face on his chest.

"I'm sorry, America." I heard him say guiltily. I then remembered. I remembered what HE DID and all the love I've ever felt for him turned into hate. I pushed him as hard as I can.

"Don't touch me!" I hissed. "Don't you ever touch me!" I said louder, my eyes squinting in rage. He looked like a kicked puppy and for the briefest second I wanted to forgive him but the memory of what he did was still fresh from my mind. "I just… I can't look at you now. Not with what you did." I closed my eyes and breathed out.

"America-"

"Maxon, please! Just give me some time." I pleaded. "I can't help but hate you right now." I finished my voice laced with venom.

He was hurt. It was painted all over him but I just can't forgive him. Not now. Maybe not ever. I could hear him breathe heavily as if he was trying to stop his emotions from pouring out. He looked into my eyes, and I saw a storm in his. "I love you, America. I promised to protect both of you but I couldn't. I failed at the moment you needed me most. I understand how you feel." It felt like he was almost talking to himself; like he had already said these lines over and over. "I hate myself also." He let out and looked away from me.

Why is this happening to the both of us? I want to tell him that I love him. That he was stupid for hating himself. That he was the most wonderful person I've ever met… but I can't because I always go back to that day in the clinic when he made the choice and I can't forgive him.

"But—" He looked at me hesitantly and I looked back. "If I was given the chance again to choose… I'd still choose you, America. I'm sorry."

I bit my lip and tasted metal. "Get out, Maxon."