The Decision
Ryan froze. It's like time stopped and the whole world froze. He wasn't expecting those words to come out. At least not so soon. "You've... decided?"
"Yeah. I've thought a lot about it in the past 2 weeks..." Marissa's eyes looked down sadly.
"Before you say anything, I want you to remember what I said before. I meant it. Nothing's getting in the way with how I feel about you. I don't say it much... but Marissa I really do love you. I won't ever stop." Ryan cupped Marissa's face and looked her in the eyes, which were full of tears. He smiled weakly at her, and though she was on the verge to breaking down, she had to smile back. She loves the feeling of him comforting her.
She rested her forehead on his, "I'm sorry Ryan. But I think I really want to do this... have to do this... for myself." She shut her eyes in attempt to stop the tears from flowing, but they just flowed even more. "It's just... I feel like this is something I have to do. As much as I want to move forward with us, I also need to move forward for myself. Please don't think I'm selfish."
"You're not selfish. I understand completely and even though it hurts to say, but you're right. I've done a lot for myself and you've been there every step of the way, supporting me. Now it's my turn to do the same. I love you and I know you'll do great in New York."
Inside, Ryan was breaking. He didn't want to have to say goodbye to Marissa or have to move across the country with her and say goodbye to life in California. But as Marissa cried even harder in his shoulder, he ignored those later decisions and held onto her even tighter. They remained that way for the next hour or so, with Marissa crying in Ryan's arms.
/
Once the crying stopped, Ryan and Marissa decided to go out for a walk and a little fresh air. They stopped by for ice cream and are now sitting on a bench in a park near Berkely.
"So... what do you want to do now?" Ryan asked Marissa. For the past hour, they tried to talk about anything but all the bad that's happened in the past 24 hours. Unfortunately, by now, they both ran out of topics to converse about other than the obvious.
Marissa played with her ice cream in the bowl.
"Marissa, we've ignored it long enough and we don't have much time."
"I know..."
"How are you going to tell your mom and Caitlin? Summer?"
"I have no idea... and how about you? Did you tell Seth yet, about the internship? Your mom? Kirsten or Sandy?" Marissa asked.
"Me neither..." Ryan sighed.
"Well, you're right. We don't have much time. I don't have much time..."
"Okay, so what do you want to do?"
"I think we need to go back to Newport. Like, now."
"Now?" Ryan was shocked and confused.
"Yeah. I want to tell everyone in person. Plus, I'm leaving soon and I want a proper goodbye."
Ryan looked at Marissa, who had on a pleading look. "Okay, we're going to Newport."
Marissa smiled and gave Ryan a peck on the cheek. She's going to miss him.
/
Marissa was now in their bedroom packing a mini suitcase. "So have you figured out what exactly you're going to say to the Cohen's about the internship?" Marissa asked Ryan who was in the bathroom.
"No, not yet. I haven't even spoken to my mom about it either. And how about you and your mom and Caitlin?"
"I have no idea. I guess it's a long trip for both of us then..." Marissa sighed.
Ryan emerged from the bathroom with a small bag of toiletries. He placed it in his suitcase which was on the bed beside Marissa. He saw the stress on Marissa's face as she was packing. Slowly he made his way over to her and wrapped his arms around Marissa from behind. He placed a light comforting kiss on her neck.
"Don't worry. Everything'll be fine."
Marissa's eyes began to tear up, "I just don't know. I've thought a lot about this and I really want to do this for myself. But it's causing so much stress for both of us, I just –"
"Hey, hey. It's gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay. I wish it wasn't, I mean, you'll be so far away, but we'll get through it. I'm proud of you for doing this."
Marissa turned her head around to have met eyes with Ryan. He was so genuine and sincere, she couldn't help but smile. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"I'm gonna go call Seth and Summer." Ryan said, exiting the bedroom.
Marissa sat down on their bed and looked at her suitcase. She felt more tears build up in her eyes. She turned her head over to the bedside table where there was a picture frame of her and Ryan at graduation. All she could do was cry even more. Damn me for being such an emotional wreck, she thought.
Meanwhile, Ryan was in the other room trying to get a hold of Seth and Summer.
Ringing, "C'mon Seth, pick up," Ryan muttered to himself.
"Hello?"
"Seth? It's me."
"Ryan? Since when do you call me? It's always been the other way around..."
"Yeah, well this is really important."
"Okay, go ahead..."
"Well... something came up."
"Uh huh...?"
"And now things are kinda...bad.."
"Ryan, I know you're not so much with words, but could you maybe elaborate a little?"
Ryan sighed and Seth could feel the worry on the other end of the phone.
"Look Seth, could you and Summer maybe come back to Newport? Just for a couple days. I'll even pay for the flight. It's about me and Marissa and it's really important you guys are there."
"Ryan! Why didn't you just say so! How could you mean things are 'bad'? Congratulations!" Seth said, excitedly.
"What? No," Ryan was confused, "No, no, no, it's not that Seth. It's something else."
"Well could you just make it clear what it is then?"
"Marissa's leaving. And we'd like you guys there for the goodbye."
"WHAT? MARISSA'S LEAVING? SINCE WHEN?" Seth spazzed out through the phone.
"COOP?" Ryan could hear Summer say in the back. "Seth give me the phone!"
"No, I'm talking to Ryan!"
"GIVE IT!" The two continued to argue; Ryan being able to hear them rolled his eyes.
"Seth, put me on speaker," He finally said, ending their bickering.
"Okay, man, you're on speaker." Seth said.
"Ryan! What do you mean Coop's leaving? Put her on!"
"She's packing right now for Newport, because we're going over there tonight. She's leaving very soon and she wants a proper goodbye. Can you and Seth please be there? Like by tomorrow?"
"Wait, where's she going? How soon is 'very soon'?" Seth continued to ask.
"All will be explained later. We're both not really up to explaining everything six times to six different people. That's why, we'd like it if you guys just be in Newport. Just one big proper explanation and proper goodbye?"
Seth and Summer looked at each other. Seth raised his eyebrows, asking Summer what she thinks.
"We'll be on the next flight to Orange County, you can count on it Atwood." Summer said.
"We better get packing. I'll see you at Mom and Dad's?" Seth asked.
"Yeah, I'll see you guys. Thanks." And with that, Ryan hung up the phone and returned to the bedroom. Marissa zipped up her suitcase and looked up to Ryan at the doorway.
"Finished packing?" he asked.
"Yep! All done. What did Seth and Summer say?"
"They'll meet us at Newport as soon as they can. I didn't tell them everything. Just told them that you're leaving and if they wanted in on the whole thing, to come to Newport."
"That's fine. It's not fair to them to ask to come fly back to California after such short notice and leave them guessing."
Ryan walked over and finished his packing, while Marissa went to the laptop to book their flights. After an hour, everything was set and they were in a cab going to the airport.
On their way there, Marissa fixed her eyes out the window. Ryan couldn't help but worry what was going on in her head, what she was thinking. All he could do was reach for her hand and hold it.
Finally, Marissa broke her gaze out the window to look at Ryan's hand holding hers. She saw the comforting smile he gave her and she gladly returned it. How am I going to say goodbye to him?
/
Their flight was delayed so they only arrived the next morning. Ryan called for a cab and they made their way to the Sandy and Kirsten's.
Marissa yawned and Ryan noticed, "Tired?"
"Just a little," Marissa tiredly said. "Maybe we can call for a dinner and sleep till then?"
"Sounds good, we're almost at the house anyways."
Once they arrived, Ryan unloaded the cab while Marissa rang the doorbell. Kirsten opened the door and her mouth immediately broke into a smile. "Marissa! What a surprise! And Ryan?" she said, peeking over Marissa's shoulder to see her adoptive son making his way to the door with all the luggage. "Sandy look who it is!" Kirsten called out.
She gave both of them big hugs as Sandy appeared through the doorway. "You missed us that much already?" Giving them hugs as well. "Come on in!"
"I'll prepare the poolhouse!" Kirsten said.
"Wait, no," Marissa called out. Kirsten stopped and turned around.
"Look, it's fine. Ryan and I can do it, you don't have to. But instead, could you do us a favour?"
"Of course, honey, what is it?" Kirsten asked.
"Umm, well Ryan and I have some news to tell you and we would really like everyone to be there. Could you call my mom and Caitlin? Have them over for dinner that way it'd be easier to just get it over and done with then?"
"Sure, I'll give them a call."
"Thanks Kirsten." Marissa said with such a genuine smile. She loved that she could always count on Kirsten.
"Our flight was delayed so we're really tired. If you don't mind, we'll just go take a short nap." Ryan said, grabbing their things and leading the way for him and Marissa.
"Wait, before you guys go, can you at least share a little before you go take a nap? You're killing us already." Sandy said with worry in his eyes.
Ryan and Marissa saw this and looked at each other.
Marissa let out a small chuckle, "Don't worry, Sandy, no one's pregnant or getting married or anything like that."
Immediately after Marissa said this, there was a look of relief coming out of Sandy and Kirsten's face.
"Okay, phew, just checking. Go on, sleep. You guys do look very tired."
"Thanks, we'll be in the poolhouse if you need anything." Ryan said.
Sandy and Kirsten watched the two through the window, make their way to the poolhouse. Once they were completely out of sight, Kirsten turned to Sandy, "What do you think it is?"
"I don't know. If it's not a wedding or a baby, I have no idea what it could possibly be."
"But to come all the way here to Newport on such short notice, it must be very important."
Sandy wrapped his arm around Kirsten and rubbed it in a comforting way. "I'll go make us brunch, you go call Julie and Caitlin for dinner... Relax, Ryan and Marissa don't look any different so I don't think anyone's dying. Everything'll be alright."
Kirsten still looked concerned. "I hope so."
/
A few hours later, the doorbell rang. Both Sandy and Kirsten were in the kitchen doing some work at home. They looked at each other puzzled.
"I thought you told them 'dinner'" Sandy said to Kirsten.
"I did. I told them to come around 6." She looked at her watch and it only read 1 o'clock.
Kirsten got up from the table and Sandy was curious himself so followed Kirsten to the door. She opened it and there stood another pair of familiar faces.
"Seth? Summer?" Kirsten said, smiling but confused.
"Hey Mrs. C, Mr. C!" Summer said cheerily, enveloping them both in big hugs.
"Mom, dad." Seth nodded.
"What are you two doing here?" Sandy asked. "Don't tell me you two also have 'big news'..."
"Ahh, so I take it that Ryan and Marissa are already here?" Seth guessed.
"Yeah, they had a delayed flight so they're both very tired. They're in the poolhouse right now, sleeping. You guys knew?" Sandy explained.
"Well, a nap isn't a bad idea. Summer and I had a long flight as well. And yeah, Ryan called."
"Well you know where your room is." Kirsten opened the door for them to enter.
"Wait, so do you guys know what's going on exactly?" Sandy asked the couple before they made their way up the stairs.
Before Seth opened his mouth, Summer but in. "Um, no. Ryan called saying there was something important and you know Ryan, he's never goofing off. We know it's serious so we just trusted him and took the first flight to California."
Seth at first was confused why Summer would lie.
"Oh... okay. Well Marissa asked me for a dinner with Julie and Caitlin tonight, will you be joining us?" Kirsten asked.
"Of course! We'll be there. Where and what time?" Summer replied.
"Just here at the house. Around 6?"
"We'll make sure to be ready by then. C'mon Cohen." Summer said, leading them up to Seth's room.
Seth closed the door behind him and turned to Summer, "Hey, why did you lie to my parents about Ryan and Marissa?"
"Because, Ryan had to explain a little to us for us to understand and come all the way here to California in the middle of the semester. But I'm pretty sure he left everything else unsaid because it's for Marissa to say."
"Ahh, okay. I see where you're getting at. Smart, my little Summer, very smart of you."
"Why thank you!" Summer smiled. "Now, c'mon, I'm tired. We should get a few hours of sleep before the big 'dinner'"
Once they were settled in bed, Summer closed her eyes while Seth remained staring at the ceiling.
"How could you sleep and not wonder what's going on with Ryan and Marissa. Where is she going and why isn't Ryan going with her."
"Seth, that's all I'm thinking about. But I didn't get much sleep last night thinking about it and I know I won't now but I'm very tired so I'm going to try."
"Okay fine. I'll shut up. We'll just have to wait and see."
"Yeah..."