Chapter 2

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Silence fell between them as they stared at each other, Shelby who found it hard to keep her tears at bay watching her little girl so broken stepped closer to her daughter. Rachel didn't move; she didn't even blink because she was afraid that if she blinked this would be a dream and that she'd be back in her bed crying and her mother would just disappear. She glanced up and noticed her mom advancing towards her and just looked back down at her hands. She didn't know what to say or how to act right now all she knew is that her mom had come back to her when she needed her the most. And for that Rachel didn't know how to thank her mom, she knew that she would have to think of a way but right now she just wanted her mom to hold her. Shelby knew that look, it's one she used to give her own mom in times she needed her and Shelby quickened her pace and sat down next to Rachel and wrapped the girl in a comforting hug that only a mother could give.

Feeling her mother's arms wrap around her Rachel lost all self-control, and finally broke down for what seemed like the hundredth time in the short amount of time she's known. Rachel buried her face as far as she could in her mother's shoulder and just cried as Shelby held her. Shelby felt Rachel tears going through her shirt and held her baby girl as tightly as she could for sitting on a bench in the middle of a park. Having had her mom Shelby knew what kind of comfort she liked and if Rachel was so much like her as everyone says then she knew that this would help calm some of the tears that kept cascading down her face. Shelby started to sing.

"When I find myself in times of trouble

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

And in my hour of darkness

She's standing right in front of me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be" Rachel knew the song as soon as her mother started to sing and she cried a little bit more until she felt her mother run her fingers through her hair and continued to sing. Rachel let her mother's soft and powerful voice lure her into a calmness that she hasn't felt for days, she closed her eyes and slowed her tears as her mom sung.

"….Oh there will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Ah let it be, yeah let it be

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be" Shelby finished the song as she felt Rachel slow her tears but kept running her fingers through her daughter's hair, a simple act she found soothed her daughter just like it had soothed her when her mother would do it. Slowly Rachel lifted her head from her mother's shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

"Thank you, for coming…I just needed someone…" Rachel looked away from her mother and suddenly became very interested in the bush in front of her.

"Rach…hey baby look at me." Shelby's voice remained soft and gentle and Rachel couldn't help but look back at her.

"Hmm?" Rachel wasn't sure what she wanted to say so she would let her mom ask questions so she had time to gather her thoughts.

"Baby…there is information that I'm missing, I don't want to upset you anymore than you already are but in order for me to help you I need to know what happened." Shelby placed her hand on Rachel's left and used her free hand to lift the girls chin so she held direct eye contact with her daughter.

"I had just talked to him, he was so excited when I told him I got the call back for Funny Girl. He told me to save him a ticket for opening night because he knew I'd get the role." Rachel glanced away from her mom for a moment to gather her thoughts before continuing, "I had class so I missed his phone call and when I got home opened the door and Kurt was crying. I didn't know what was going on I thought it was Burt or Carol for that matter. He told me that I should sit down…then my thoughts drifted to you thinking something had happened to you…but the look on his face said that it wasn't. When I didn't sit down he told me that it was Finn. That they did everything they could but he…" At this point Shelby has Rachel back her arms as she saw her daughter go back to that dreadful day.

"Baby…." Shelby tried to pull Rachel from her thoughts, she didn't want her to go back down that dark hole again.

"…..he didn't make it that he was unresponsive when they made it to the hospital and that there was nothing more they could do. Mama, I just talked to him….and he's gone….He…I don't…"

Unable to hold her tears back anymore Shelby tried to sooth her daughter, "Ssssh Rach. Ssssh." Nothing she could think to say would conceal the hurt and pain her daughter felt and she would simply hold her.

"He was my person…." Rachel choked out those words and she sought solace in her mother's embrace and placed her head on her mother's chest.

"Oh baby girl…." Shelby didn't know what to do but held her baby in her arms and rocked her side to side.

Shifting in Shelby's arms Rachel looked up at the sky, realizing how late it must be she leaned up a little lifting her head to look at Shelby, "Mom?"

"Yeah Rach?"

"Can we take a walk? Just to the other entry of the park? Sometimes I take walks when I'm upset or just want to clear my head and…" Rachel stopped herself, what if Shelby didn't want to walk with her?

"And what Rach?" Shelby turned her daughter's head back to her to see if she could catch a glimpse of what Rachel was thinking.

"I don't want to be alone right now." Rachel mumbled out and Shelby had barely heard her but she did. She grabbed her daughter's hand and pulled her up.

"Come on, the park is lovely at night and I'd love to take a walk with my beautiful daughter." Shelby spoke the words so gently and Rachel gripped her mom's hand in response. No words were needed, she understood that her mom wasn't going to be leaving her alone right now.

They walked in silence for what seemed like an eternity but what was all of five minutes. Neither woman dropped the other's hand, if anything their grip got tighter with each thought that crossed their minds. Rachel knowing she'd be a wreck when she went home that night to a lonely apartment and Shelby thinking just how badly her daughter is suffering. Neither wanted to break the silence first but Shelby had to know. She had to know anything at this point. Should she start out with simple questions? She wanted to distract her daughter, but how?

" Have you always taken walks when you're upset?" Shelby wanted to know her daughter a little more, this seemed like a safe starter.

"A glass of water can only go so far. If I just wanted to clear my head or if I was feeling overwhelmed I would go to the local park as and walk the trail they have and I would picture myself here in New York and walking through Central Park and my thoughts and stress whatever it was that day, a slushy attack or Santana calling me names whatever it was would fade away in that moment. In that moment I felt free of not only the torment but free to picture my life on Broadway…how my life would be different…how I'd have you…" Rachel trailed off not wanting to upset her mom by bringing these memories back. They were doing so good…two steps forward…they didn't need to go three steps backwards.

"What did that look like Rach?" Shelby couldn't help but want to know what her daughter pictured for them.

"Broadway? Well I would have the two Tonys by—"

"No. Us. How did you picture life with you and I?"

"Well, when I was little I'd go to the park twice in December. Once on my birthday and then again the before Christmas Eve every year, the snow would be up to my legs and I'd have my hat and gloves on and I would walk and eventually sit in the snow." As Rachel stopped she smiled, Shelby saw that smile and she couldn't control a smile of her that appeared.

"Why those two days?" Shelby asked her daughter as she gathered her daughter's hand in her own once more.

" Those are the days I missed you the most. I'd go every day on my birthday and make a wish that my mommy would show up and she'd make all those kids that called me a freak or abnormal leave me alone so they'd know I had a mom just like everyone else. And I'd go every year on the day before Christmas Eve to talk to beg Santa alone, I always thought he'd listen better if I was alone and not near my dads. I would always ask for my mom back. When I got older I continued because it was like a tradition, I'd go to the park and make my wish…it sort of turned into a December Prayer for me. Because I'd only feel that lonely in December when on my birthday I didn't get my mom and on Christmas when I woke up excited every morning hoping that Santa brought you home." Rachel had tears in her eyes recalling the memories of walking to the park every year and every year not having what she asked for. Shelby on the other hand had no problems letting the tears fall from her eyes.

"Rach—" Shelby had no words. Her baby girl said a prayer every year for her mother to come home to her and every year she didn't get the answered she hoped and prayed for. Her poor little girl.

"It's funny on my ninth birthday I would walk to the park and sit and picture us here actually. Walking as it snowed and seeing the lights glisten off the ground that was covered in snow and we'd see people ice skating and I'd beg you to go skating with me and you'd always say yes. Christmas was always the time we'd be together. So now at nineteen I continue to walk because I like to think about what could be and how things are actually different." Rachel finished her story and looked over at her mom who was wiping tear from her face.

"You got to the park every December praying for your mom." It wasn't a question it was a statement and Shelby knew in that moment that Rachel and her would be taking walks every December.

"Yeah I know stupid child thoughts.."

"No! Not stupid. Rach, what would you say if you and I started a tradition…just the two of us?" Shelby stopped them and turned her daughter to face her.

"What? What kind of tradition?" Rachel tried hard to keep the excitement from building. Were they finally going to have something that was just the two of them? Something that only they shared and no one else?

"Every year on December eighteenth and twenty-third you and I come to this park and we walk and we go ice skating and we just walk and talk and be together. Just you and I. No Beth, no dads, just mother and daughter." Shelby's grip on Rachel's hand proved to Rachel that she was serious and if that was enough what Rachel saw in her mother's eyes proved that she was and that if Rachel said no she'd be crushed.

"Mother and daughter. Our own tradition…I dunno mom…" Rachel stopped and being the actress she was she added the extra time just for the dramatics….Shelby was beginning to fidget thinking she over stepped her bounds when Rachel continued, "do you think you could keep up on ice skate?"

"I think I'll manage just fine." Shelby pulled Rachel into her and kissed her forehead.

"I should probably get going. You probably need to get back to Beth! Oh god! I didn't even think about that I'm sorry." Rachel stood straighter and wiped her face.

"Rach, she is spending the night at her friend's house. I'm not in any rush to be anywhere but you're right we should be getting a cab. And head out." When Shelby said this she was struck with a thought, "Rachel is Kurt home?"

"No. He went back to Lima to be with Burt and Carol for a few weeks." She responded glancing at her hands and back at her mom.

"You're alone in that apartment by yourself?" Shelby was trying to hide the worry that was building in her.

"Yeah, I can't go back to Lima yet. I wanted to but I couldn't do it. Kurt said everyone would understand. I just couldn't do it. I can't say goodbye." At this the tears Rachel had managed to forget about suddenly came back and had no problem making themselves known.

"Hey. Hey baby it's okay. Sssh, Kurt was right. They will understand. But I don't want you staying in that apartment alone. We're going to pack enough for a few weeks because you're coming to stay with me. I've got an extra guest room that is now your room. So lets get that cab and go, that way we can get you settled in. Sound good?" Shelby looked her eldest in the eyes and could see Rachel debating.

"You really want me to come and stay with you?" Rachel asked shly.

"Yes I do. And I really hope you say yes because I'm not leaving you alone for a second." Shelby hoped her attempt at a joke would make it to her daughter and it did because Rachel smiled.

"Thank you." Rachel gave her mother a side hug as they continued their walk.

"Anytime baby. You're not alone anymore." With that they made their way out of the park and onto the busy New York streets.

*well here it is hope you guys like it. Please review and let me know what you guys think.*