Chapter 8
I wake up from the rampage I had I look around chairs, a table, and a couch all flipped and tossed.
"God I am a monster."
I get up put everything back in its place, I go to the bathroom. I take look in the mirror my pink hair is a mess my onyx eyes still teary my nose dripping my knuckles still kind of bloody dried though. I decide to take a shower and call Mirajane to tell her I am going to be working for the rest of the week. I think maybe work will help me not think about her. Mira knows about the whole thing from Levy or Gray I don't care though she hasn't been bothering me about it so that's good. I walk into room to see a sleeping Happy.
"Maybe he fell asleep before I completely raged out."
I grab a t-shirt and some jeans, put on my favorite converse I've had for a year or two just black a bit worn out though, but I think they still look awesome no matter how new or worn they are. I head out to work.
Its late now, I head home and cry myself to sleep I guess no matter what Lucy is going to be the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep and the first thing when I wake up. It's going to be like this for a while I guess, might as well deal with it.
Two months passed, two months and I barley talked to her, all my friends treat me like the break up was just yesterday especially Levy, well it still hurts the same I have been emotionally exhausted these past two months because I still cry over her at night I have been dealing with all this alone like I prefer. I wake up head to school. The first person to greet me was Levy with Gajeel. Levy ran up to me and hugged me.
"Stop don't do that your boyfriend might get jealous."
I say with a chuckle. Levy pushing away flustered.
"Sh-shut up!"
I look at Gajeel who is looking away blushing. These two you would never think would even think would talk to each other let alone plan on going out on a date.
"So what are you two doing this evening? Movies, dinner, or a walk in the park?"
"Natsu I thought I said shut up!"
"What? Are you embarrassed or are you shy to tell him you like him?"
"Natsu!"
"Wha?!"
"Hey I got the big man talking now. Hey you play your cards right you might get lucky tonight."
"What?! Shut up jackass!"
"Natsu why do you do this to me?"
"Cause it is cute when you get embarrassed."
"Yo Natsu."
I turn to see Gray and Juvia.
"Gray, hey and hey Juvia."
"how are you doing man?"
"Yea I'm fine don't worry."
"JUVIA HAS GOOD NEW TO TELL YOU, JUVIA AND GRAY-SAMA ARE A COUPLE!"
"What?! No way congrats Juvia!"
Juvia so happy about the news is just hugging Gray's arm tight.
"Yea me and Juvia are a thing."
"Finally, Gray you are one lucky guy."
Well at least everyone else is in a happy relationship. I'm happy everyone is happy but I just miss her so much I don't think I am going to get over her. I need her in my life I never needed anyone more in my life. School felt slow but finally ended for today. As I was walking to my locker I get pulled aside. It's Lucy.
"Uh hey."
"Why are you doing this?"
"What?"
"Why are you pushing your friends who are trying to help you away?"
"I don't know I dealt with everything I have ever gone through by myself."
"Don't, you can't do that you are just going to ruin yourself Natsu."
"Look I'll be fine."
"No you won't."
"Mind if I try to explain to you about me and Lissanna. She was my first love and I was hers. But let me tell you this I am not in love with her anymore I love you she was gone for several years I thought she was dead, it hurt but eventually I got over her, she didn't know about you. She is sorry about it too. But I'm sorry about that I truly am."
"What about me than? Why aren't you over me?"
"Because you are something completely special something completely different, my love for you isn't any other kind of love I have ever felt before, I never felt so happy with one person, Do you understand how sorry I am for hurting you I hate myself because of it. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me I love you more than anything on this world I need you in my life and never needed anyone ever so badly. But what's the point you won't listen to any of this, none of this will change your mind you're over me."
Holding back her tears Lucy responds shaky voice
"Over you? You think I am over you? Natsu I love you."
"Well you sure as hell got me fooled you know not talking to me not looking at me, just nothing."
"Well I knew this was going to happen I wanted to let you go Natsu but it's just so hard."
"I know how you feel."
We just stood there for a moment in silence I then speak
"Lucy please I promised you forever and I want to keep that promise."
"Natsu you can't make those promises because it most likely won't happen."
Now that's what got me I stood there silent not knowing what to say that sentence just shot through me. She can't take my promises anymore I always thought a promise was just a promise and nothing more but when the one you care most about can't take you promises anymore it brings a pain a terrible pain it hurts like hell I can't explain it but its pain goes on and on.
"Natsu we can't do this."
"Lucy, do you think I can make you happy ever again?"
"Of course that was never hard for you to do."
"Then please let me call you mine again, let me say I love you and for you to know I truly do."
"Natsu I don't know I'm scared."
"Of me?"
"No, of getting hurt again and hurting you."
"Lucy everything that happened was my fault and I am sorry but please."
"Natsu I am just going to go."
She walks off. I stand there I turn and head to my car.