A/N: I'll be honest, this chapter turned out a wee bit strange for me:/ Not too sure if I like it, but I don't think I want to change it, either. Let me know what you think, especially about halfway through the chapter (that's the part that bothers me, really). So, some fluff, some more serious stuff, too. Anyway, I forgot to ask in the previous chapter, but fellow South African who is reading this – don't you wanna leave a review, and let me know who you are? I'd love to hear from you! Really, I would. I think I have an inkling that I know who you are, but I could very well be wrong. Anyway, here's the next one; enjoy! Oh, and today (24/05/13) was dress-up day at school, and guess which Listener I decided to go as…;p Pics to eventually make their way to dA! May the Night Mother wrap you in her cold, loving embrace.
Chapter 15: Oh. Oh….
It took us two days to get back to the Sanctuary. Two days. I had always hated those Oculatus agents, but now I was beginning to think that I should kill each one that dared show his face in my presence. Maybe I'd tag them as my kills with a bloody handprint…. I grinned at the thought: I would do that when I headed out on the collection of contracts Amaund had given me. Sithis help my brothers and sisters if they dared take these contracts from me.
I sighed happily once I entered the cool confines of the Sanctuary, our horses hidden in the spot I had left my first horse, after we hastily changed back into the Brotherhood's armor. I had my hood up when we padded down to the common room, listening to a commotion. Someone was fight-training something that had been summoned. I couldn't tell who it was from here, at least not over Aventus's excited chatter. He led the way down the last flight of stairs, and as I lifted my eyes to see who was fighting, my eyes widened, my jaw slacked and my breath caught in my throat. "Oh…" I breathed.
Cicero faced a summoned Spriggan, his cap gone and his shirt was nowhere to be seen. His body gleaming with sweat in the torchlight from the exertion, dodging the Spriggan and her summoned bear. My heart raced, my breath catching in my throat. I was probably breathing faster, but I didn't know. "Oh," I breathed again, vaguely aware of Aventus at my side. Cicero turned to look at us. Concentration melted into confusion, and he straightened, ignoring the forest guardian. She was coming from behind. My instincts took over, and suddenly she shrieked, a daedric dagger in her forehead as she and her bear faded away, my blade clattering to the floor. I blinked a few times, my gaze falling on Cicero who now faced me squarely. He's… beautiful, I registered, taking in his form. He wasn't as well-built as someone younger would be, and undoubtedly had lost some of his form and muscle in the seventeen years he had looked after the Night Mother, but he was still fairly toned and defined, with slightly narrower hips than shoulders. He was panting, and cocked his head to one side as he gave me an inquisitive stare. I managed to pull in a ragged breath. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. Cicero looked behind him, then back at me. Aventus came into my peripheral vision. I heard someone mumble something next to me. My heart thundered in my ears as I drank in Cicero's appearance.
"Alysa?" Festus appeared behind Cicero.
"Cicero wonders if the most honorable Listener is alright…?" Cicero asked, sheathing his ebony dagger and slowly stepping closer. I suddenly came to my senses. I sucked in a deep breath, turning away and wrenched my cowl over my face in an attempt to conceal the deep, warm blush I could feel spread over my face. Oh, Night Mother help me…. I closed my eyes, and was vaguely aware of Aventus scurrying away, much like young wolf pup would give way to an alpha. "Listener?" a soft voice asked, fingertips touching my shoulder lightly. I focused on my breathing, and stilled my heart enough to be able to think a little more clearly. I drew a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Alysa, are you alright? Cicero wor-wonders," Cicero asked even softer. I slowly turned and relaxed a little to see Cicero had his shirt on again, not quite buttoned, but on. He was less distracting now. He held out my dagger, his fingers gone from my shoulder. I took my blade and sheathed it, then searched his face. His steel-grey eyes were softened with concern. I tried to smile tentatively under my cowl, and Cicero smiled back, the madness fading from his eyes for a few moments as he carefully reached for my face, pulling my cowl down, his fingertips just brushing my face in places. I grinned broadly all of a sudden. "I missed you, Cicero."
He beamed, that madness I had come to know brightening in his face. "Oh! Sweet Alysa! Dear Listener! Cicero has missed you very much as well, indeed!"
He looked about ready to pull me to him in a tight embrace, but stopped himself short. I was almost disappointed. I reached out to him, touching his chest before moving my hand to his side, stepping closer, unsure of myself. But the Keeper needed no further encouragement. I was swept into his arms and off my feet, spinning round and round as Cicero skipped and danced, singing joyfully about something only Sithis and the Night Mother would understand. I started laughing, eventually joining the fool in his wild dance across the common room, instead of just being swept along. "The Listener has returned! The Listener has returned!" he shrieked, pulling me into our strange dance.
Oh, it was good to be home. Is good to be home.
She had missed him! She had missed Cicero! Sweet Listener Alysa had missed humble Cicero! Oh, sweet Night Mother, it makes Cicero's heart sing! And dancing with Alysa, hearing her laugh! Seeing her smile! Oh, Cicero must SING! And when Cicero saw Aventus's face… oh, to see him so dejected, rejected! Ha ha ha! It makes Cicero gleeful. But Cicero wonders why Alysa had stared, what had made her stare. Surely it hadn't been Cicero… but if it had been Cicero… well, that would make Cicero fly! Of course, not really fly, but that's the idea! Cicero grins. Oh, it would be wonderful if it were true…. Cicero slowly stops spinning, looking at the pretty little Nord Listener.
"Cicero…" the sweet Listener started.
"Yes, dear Listener?"
"I'd like to go see the Night Mother. Escort me to her coffin," she commanded, her pretty blue eyes so irresistible to dear, humble Cicero.
"Of course, Listener!" Cicero stepped back, letting go and holding his arm for dear, sweet Alysa…. She grinned, turning and looping her arm through Cicero's. We walked to the Night Mother, and Cicero was doing his best not to grin too stupidly to have his dear Listener so close.
I've never had a feeling like this before – I felt light, free. Cicero was close, and I was beginning to understand what Babette had told me so long ago. We headed to the coffin, and the fool carefully unhooked my arm, waiting close to the door of his and the Night Mother's chambers. I spotted a vase of freshly-picked Nightshade, and took five of the blossoms as a bouquet for her. I presumed Cicero had gone flower-hunting, and I could feel his eyes on me as I neared her coffin. I knelt, briefly dipping my head. "All is going well, Unholy Matron, and the contract is coming together, piece by piece," I murmured, looking at the flowers, and placing them at the foot of her coffin. "Is there anything else you require of me?"
A cold whisper of a touch fluttered by my cheek, and I shivered before an ever-more familiar cold and calculating calm filled me. No, my Listener…. May the Dread Father keep you and yours… her voice faded from my mind. I looked up at her withered corpse, and got the distinct impression she was pleased with something, though I wasn't sure what. It seemed greater than just something I had done. I felt a cool but genuine smile spread across my face, and stood, respectfully backing away before I turned to face Cicero. He cocked his head to one side, a coy grin on his face. It was probably afternoon now. "How about lunch?" I asked, grinning.
I awoke that night to faint sounds of howling and shrieking. The other members were still asleep, from the quick glance I passed around, and I slid out of my bed, taking a dagger in hand. I had learnt to be a light sleeper, and it was something that I both cursed and blessed. I followed the noise past Babette's chambers. A brief glance inside told me she wasn't there. They seemed to be coming from the Keeper's chambers, though. I padded closer, the stone cold under my bare feet. I frowned in concern: it was definitely coming from there. I tried the door, and it opened on silent hinges. What I saw inside stopped my black little heart cold.
Cicero was ranting and raving, slashing and attacking at invisible enemies while he shrieked incoherently about his Family, the Night Mother, the Sanctuaries. He's been to more than this one and the one he was originally in? I wondered, stepping further in and closing the door. I hadn't – still didn't – know what had happened to him, but he was clearly reliving it. I drew in a deep breath when he suddenly crumpled to the floor, hands over his ears, rocking and mumbling something. He still hadn't noticed me. I put my dagger on a table, and cautiously stepped closer. "Cicero?" I asked softly.
He didn't move, and as I got closer I dropped to my haunches, still edging closer. "Cicero?" I touched his shoulder gingerly. He flinched, looking at me. I felt a pang when I realized he didn't recognize me. "They're… I can't… all dead… I can't save them! It's not safe anymore!" he breathed frantically. I barely registered he was using only first person. "I was gone… they were dead… everyone…" he despaired. "I didn't know! I couldn't help! And I can't find the Listener! What if I never find the Listener?!" he wailed, breathing heavily, his grey eyes wide with fear.
"Shh… hey, it's alright, you're ok now, you're somewhere safe," I said, laying my palm on his shoulder. "You'll find her, Cicero. You'll find the Listener, I swear to you," I said. He pulled me into an embrace. I stiffened on instinct, but quickly folded my arms around him.
We sat on the floor for a long time before I realized his shoulders had stopped shaking. "Come on," I said softly, gently pushing him up. "It's still night. You should rest, Cicero."
He looked at me and nodded. We slowly stood, and Cicero made his way to his bed. I perched on the edge, a little uncomfortable at being so close in a situation like this. I stayed until his breathing deepened, but the second I made to stand Cicero's arm shot out and his hand clamped around my forearm. "Stay, please; don't leave Cicero alone."
I hesitated: I might have started feeling more comfortable around him, but I still wasn't totally sure about it. But nodded anyway. "Just let me get a chair and blankets," I said, prying his fingers off my arm, and pulled a chair closer to the head of his bed, my back to the wall and after draping an extra blanket over myself, settled into it. Cicero's wide eyes never left me until I curled up in the chair, and suddenly he was asleep. My eyes drooped not long after, and my dreams were filled with questions and scenarios about Cicero's past, and how young he had been when it all happened to him.
I woke up from the pain in my neck. I was still curled uncomfortably in the hard wooden chair, my right foot asleep and prickling. I was also a lot warmer: almost stiflingly so. I pried my eyes open to see an animal skin of sorts haphazardly tucked around me, and Cicero wasn't in my immediate line of sight. I breathed deeply still, not moving as I scanned the area. The scratching of a quill on parchment started up furiously, and I realized I had been hearing it in my sleep for some time. Cicero was writing something in one of his journals. I shifted and stretched, and Cicero glanced sheepishly at me before finishing what he wrote, sprinkling sand over the ink to dry it faster before closing the book.
"Cicero is sorry about last night. Cicero… knows that it happens, but Cicero wishes it wouldn't," he finishes, shuffling his feet under the table, not quite looking at the honorable Listener. She found Cicero at his worst, remembering all the horrid, horrid things that happened… Cicero just wishes they'd all go away, sweet Mother… all of the horrid, terrible memories. I looked up when the mighty, honorable Listener sat down on a chair next to me. She nodded. "But it's not your fault. None of what happened was – is – your fault. Remember that," she said, and looked sheepish. Cicero wondered why, but supposed she wasn't used to people. Not even the other members knew much about her. Cicero wants to know everything about her…. "Cicero… Cicero thinks he wants to tell you, sometime…" Cicero trails, wondering what sweet Alysa will say.
She tried to smile. "Take your time, Cicero. I'm not heading out for at least another month: I'm going to take the Emperor contracts, and the wedding contract isn't due until at least two or three months: Tar was invited since he's the Dragonborn, and is also going to represent Ulfric. The Altmer has some inside information on the happenings, and apparently the bride is having trouble on deciding how she wants what," Alysa half-grinned at humble Cicero. Cicero grinned back.
A strange gurgling noise filled the room, and Alysa quickly grabbed her stomach, going white and grinning guiltily. Cicero giggled, then laughed harder when the dear Listener joined in, and finally, eventually, sweet Mother, Cicero gathered his senses enough to speak. "Sweet roll, dear sister?"
Alysa stopped for a second, glancing at the bread. Then she started laughing again. Such a beautiful sound, such a perfect one…. Cicero can't help but laugh as well. "I'd love one, my brother," she said, taking the bread, and started pulling it apart.
"Cicero prefers a carrot, this morning," he says, crunching his orange carrot. Alysa looked at Cicero, and Cicero at Alysa, and Cicero knew he could trust her. It wasn't as serious as before now anymore, but Cicero knew she would listen to him, and he to her.
The Listener and the Keeper. Maybe never on the hunt together, but the Listener and the Keeper, forever and always.
Despite the heavy start to the morning, I left Cicero feeling a little lighter, and I was sure he felt it, too. We had a deeper kind of understanding now – or at least I thought we did – and I was ready to open up to him, to share my story as he wanted to share his, and strangely pleased that I could be there for him. I realized I wanted to be there for him, too. The thought… warmed me in ways I had learnt not be warmed anymore – I had learnt to become cold, and cruel; my life before the Brotherhood had seen to that early on. I licked my fingers again, and even though the honey was long-gone they were still sticky.
I had quickly snatched my dagger on the way to the washroom, and stowed it in my chest along with the other. I'd talk to Astrid today and hear what she had to say about it all – the wedding, and hear what she had managed to gather from our many spies across the country. It was surprising how easy it was to buy over a few beggars here, a guard there and a thief or three elsewhere. I bathed quickly, slipping into the Brotherhood's red and black robes. I stopped by my chest briefly to take the letter of credit, making sure it still looked fairly neat before I took it to Astrid. Nazir and Gabriella were talking excitedly about something, Festus grumbled about how incompetent the youth had become – I presumed he was talking about something that Aventus hadn't done – and by the time I reached the lower floor, my little brother was trying to defend himself over breakfast but Festus had him caught in a word-web. I sniggered when the young Imperial struggled to say the right things, and eventually gave up, blushing furiously. "A bright and bloody morning to you," I greeted.
Nazir was the first to look me over suspiciously. "Someone call Babette. Alysa's ill," he said tonelessly, a perfectly blank expression on his face. I scowled at him, only for him to laugh heartily, joined shortly by the others. I rolled my eyes and smiled, then faced Aventus. "I'll meet you in the training area. Warm up so long: I need to speak with Astrid," I said, striding past and bounced up the stairs two at a time. I couldn't be sure, but I thought I heard Nazir tell Aventus to close his mouth. To the Void with his puppy love: I wasn't interested, and if he didn't quite understand yet, he certainly would.