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Here it is, Chapter 29. Hope you like it!

ENJOY!

Chapter 29

For the next week Clary spent most of her time in her room, Sebastian leaving her plates of food at her door but never staying to talk. Even though she hated admitting it but she was avoiding him. After the first two days she had gotten over leaving Jace and the rest of her loved ones, it was just like the first time, now she was still dealing with the her loss. She never would have thought she would have been this upset over it she knew she wasn't ready for a baby but ever since she lost hers she had this emptiness inside her, an emptiness that would never be replaced. She was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, her hands resting on her stomach and her mind blank but every now and then flashes of that night would appear causing a single tear to roll down her cheek. She snapped out of her heart aching thoughts as she heard a knock on the door, this is what Sebastian would do when he brought food to her. She slowly pulled the blankets off and sat up. She dragged her feet over to the door and opened it. A little gasp of surprise escaped her lips as she saw Sebastian standing there with a plate of cookies in his hands; he was never there when he brought food to her. His shoulders were tense, he was wearing black jeans and a tight black t-shirt, his hair stuck to forehead and was laced with sweat, his chest was rising and falling distinctively, his eyes were locked on Clary and were full of pain and annoyance. Clary couldn't move, she had forgotten how breath taking he was, her eyes skimmed over his body and then landed on his eyes and her tears threatened to return. He shoved past her and into the room. She hesitated for a moment before closing the door and turning around to face him. She watched as he paced back and forth, the plate of cookies still in his hand, he stopped and looked down at it and then up at her.

He handed the plate to her abruptly, "Here. I remembered how when we were in England you we had these at that café and you fell in love with them." He looked down and the corner of his mouth twitched up at the memory, "You made me buy like fifteen packets to take with us when we left."

Clary slightly smiled at the memory. She walked over to her bed and sat down, looking down at the plate of cookies and then back up at Sebastian. He looked over at her, their eyes locked for a moment before Clary looked away as she felt her eyes start to water at the perfect memories.

She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the tears away as Sebastian's voice came out hurt, "Clary…"

They way he said her name ringed in her ears causing memories of every time he said her name to dance across her mind. She forced herself to look up at him.

Their eyes locked and Sebastian spoke again, "Clary… we… need to fix this, I know it's been hard and everything is confusing right now but we need to move on."

Clary felt hurt and anger rise up in her, she spat out, "Move on? How can you say that?! You have no idea what it felt like for me to lose… lose… lose our child, everyday I live with that pain, I live every day feeling empty and broken and as if I can never be fixed." She choked out the last few words, "You'll never understand!"

Sebastian's eyes narrowed, "You think I have no idea what you're feeling?! How do you think I feel! I lost a child too! And do you know how much it hurt that I couldn't be with you for those four months?! Going to ultrasounds, shopping for baby stuff, picking out names! My heart ached every moment I wasn't with you! I spent every day looking for you! I put everything on hold FOR YOU! I didn't even know if you were alive or if you were still pregnant or if they had forced you to get rid of it! And then I found you and you were healthy and you were so beautiful, carrying our baby. But then you collapsed and I was given the choice between saving you or the baby. Do you have any idea how hard that choice was?! But I chose you Clary! I CHOSE YOU! Clary I've NEVER felt like this about anyone! I didn't even think I was able to feel like this! And I finally get you back and you disappear and avoid me! Do you know I sit outside your door every night and listen to you cry yourself to sleep not knowing if I was aloud to go in and hold you?! I so badly wanted to hold you in my arms and just be there for you!" an eerie silence settled into the room. Clary looked into his eyes mildly shocked at what he had just told her. He walked over and sat down on the bed with her. He slid the plate from her hand, discarding it to the other side of the bed, entangling his fingers with hers, his gaze never unlocking from hers.

He swallowed, choking down the tears that he could feel coming up, his voice soft, "I… I love you Clary."

A little gasp escaped Clary's lips and her mind started racing, 'He loves me?' Her mind raced with the what he had just told her and images of how much fun they had together and how easy it was to be around him and how gentle he could be at time and also how rough but she loved that about him 'Wait! What? Love? Love about him? Do I love him? Maybe… or … I don't know? Do I love him?' She looked into his broken yet hopeful eyes; they were nothing like when he first touched her in Prague so long ago. She liked to think she had something to do with that and that's when she knew. She reached up and cupped his cheek, he leaned into her hand; he had missed her touch so badly.

Her voice was soft, "I love you Sebastian."

His eyes lit up and a smile spread across his face, he couldn't hold himself back anymore, he reached up and kissed her lovingly. She smiled against his enthusiastic kiss and then kissed him back. After moments of excitement and bliss they broke apart in need of breath. Sebastian rested his forehead on hers; he couldn't wipe the smile from his face. They stared into each other's joy filled eyes but they soon turned to lust. He lightly brushed his lips against her and then deepened the kiss. A little moan escaped her lips allowing him access; his slid his tongue into her mouth, dancing with hers and moaned at the sensation. It had been what felt like forever since he touched her, kissed her or was even near her. He slid his hand around her to her back as she slid hers around his neck and entangled her fingers in his hair. She pulled him closer wanting more. He leaned forward, pushing her down to lie on the bed, him on top. He ran his hands down her sides wanting to remember everything about her. She let out a little moan as he lightly bit her bottom lip. He started trailing kisses down to her neck and then started sucking and slightly nibbling on her pulse causing her to tug on his hair and tilt her head back giving him easier access. He smiled lightly; he had missed the sounds she made and the way she reacted to his touch. He slowly ran his hands under her shirt and started rubbing her breasts causing another, louder moan to escape her and her breathing to quicken. He pulled off her shirt and his own, tossing them to the side. He clashed his lips with hers once again, her hands roaming over his bare, muscular back. God how she missed him! He moved his lips to her aroused nipples and swirled his tongue around it causing a little gasp escape her at the perfect feeling. As he kept her moaning he ran his hand down to the edge of her shorts and started tugging them down. At the feeling of him pulling down her pants flashes of the night she lost her baby flashed across her mind, the pain, the screaming, the burning, finding out what happened and ... the emptiness. She jolted upright pushing Sebastian off her. She saw hurt and confusion written across his face. She hated that she couldn't, not after what happened. She felt her eyes sting as tears rolled down her cheeks, she pulled her legs to her chest and tucked her head into her knees and sobbed, "I'm sorry… I just… I just cant." She suddenly felt his warm arms; his warm familiar comforting arms wrap around her and pull her to his chest.

He whispered soothingly, "It's ok. I understand. It's ok. Shh, shh."

She leaned into his embrace, inhaling is scent that se loved so much. She hadn't realised how much she had actually missed him until now. He slowly laid down on the bed, his arms wrapped around her, her head buried in his chest, her sobs starting to slow and her eyes starting to droop. Her ran his finger through her fiery locks as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep and he soon joined her in peaceful slumber.

Everything felt right.

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