Hostage of Love
Chapter 17
Look At Where We Are
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From the deep silence of my mind
Is something I'm trying to find
When it speaks you know you will hear my name
Not so complex in design
But harder to mind
As I step in vain
Won't you come down to my arms
There's something I'm ready to say
Would you call my name
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Song: Hot Chip, Look At Where We Are
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Thank you so much to Mist and luvinj for taking the time, care and dedication to beta and pre-read for us. You are very appreciated :-)
A/N: Thank you so much for welcoming back Hostage of Love ! We appriciate your reviews so much. Please, keep them coming. And remember, folks, Hostage will be moving (only a little) soon. Until we start reposting this story - unedited content - please make sure to add our joined account to your favorite authors list - EyJB
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~~oOo~~
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"That's all I can tell you, and you know what?" Sam asked. "You deserve a break as well. Give it a try, talk to her, and find the fuck out what exactly went down at the time. You need to speak with Leah, but you'll see...it'll be alright. Jake, come on, buddy."
Sam felt bad for his friend, but he also knew that it was time, time for Jake to quit his stubborn attitude. He agreed with Leah completely after he had learned what Bella thought was going on at the time.
Jacob just needed to let it happen naturally, and Sam was sure that it would - eventually.
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~~oOo~~
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While Leah busied herself by finishing up dinner, Bella kept Yuma entertained, blowing kisses onto Yuma's face and neck. He loved it. His laughter filled the room. She could not help herself and keep on laughing along with him.
That is how Jacob found them when he walked in with Sam. It bothered him that she had found out his son's ticklish places already. It also ticked him off that Yuma seemed to absolutely adore her. He clung to her, ignoring everyone else in the room. His son didn't even seem to recognize that he had returned to the house. He knew that it was immature getting jealous like this, but he couldn't fight it. He'd rather Yuma were shy and reserved - like Yuma was with every other stranger he met.
The tension at the dinner table was tangible. They all tried to keep it together for little Yuma, but it wasn't easy for either of them.
Sam tried to make conversation, but ended up talking solely to Bella as Leah was too busy watching Bella and Jacob.
Jacob refused to even look at anyone other than Yuma. At least that was what he was trying to convey. Secretly, he was paying pretty close attention to what was going on and what was being said.
Leah couldn't stop smirking at Jacob and Bella. She caught Jacob's eye from time to time when he occasionally glared back at her. She was well aware of his annoyance, and if she was honest he had every right to be mad at her, but it was about time that he faced his demons-thus clearing out old grudges and move on. It was all thanks to his stubborn attitude anyway that he did not leave her any choice in the matter. She would try everything to get him and Bella back together. She felt she owed him. If it hadn't been for her, Bella wouldn't have left again.
Bella smiled a lot, trying to hide her nervousness. In all honesty, her stomach was tied in knots and she barely got her food down. Every now and then she glanced at Jacob, who seemed to still be ignoring her blatantly. While it hurt, she had expected him to react exactly this way. She knew it wouldn't be easy. She would be giving him all the time he needed.
After all, she could be stubborn as well, and he would get to know that fact very soon. Bella was determined and enough was enough.
Damn, he had looked so hot when he had stormed into the house earlier. He had been sweating, skin glistening with perspiration. Beads of sweat had covered his forehead and temples; his shirt clung to his chest, his russet skin and the defined planes of his pectorals clearly visible through the damp fabric.
Her observations of him also confirmed what Leah had been telling her all along. He had changed dramatically since she had last seen him. He exuded bitterness and anger. His eyes were hard and cold. His beautiful lips were constantly set in a grim, thin line. He also seemed to be a lot thinner. Every line on his body seemed to be more pronounced and to have a hard edge. His figure reminded her of the scrawny complexion of a marathon runner. What was he doing to himself to look like that?
"Bella." Sam's voice cut through her thoughts. "When did you plan to see Charlie?"
Bella picked at her veggies, too nervous to eat. "Ummm, I think I will visit him tomorrow, but I was already planning on giving him a call tonight."
"Why don't you just drive by after dinner? He's so excited to finally see you again. You can take my car, Bella. I don't need it tonight," Sam offered.
"Thank you, Sam. I might actually drive up to Forks later on tonight then."
After dinner, Bella offered Leah to help with the dishes, but Leah dismissed her. "I have Sam. It's okay. Your dad is waiting for you."
Jacob took Yuma out of his high chair and carried him into the bathroom to get him ready for the night. "Good riddance," he muttered under his breath, but still loud enough that Bella could hear.
This time she actually flinched at the coldness in his voice.
"Ignore him. He's just being an ass," Leah said, grabbing Bella's hand. She pulled her to the front door and gave her a hug. "See you tomorrow then. Tell your Dad I said hi. The black truck is Sam's. The key is in the ignition, alright?"
Bella nodded, she could sense she was being watched, feeling Jacob's eyes burn into the back of her neck. Turning her head slowly, he was staring directly at her through the open bathroom window. He held Yuma in his arms. Yuma was waving frantically. She smiled shyly and waved back at Yuma, her eyes never leaving Jacob's. Once again, she was drawn toward his beautiful eyes, dark and dangerous, but as soon as she made a move in his direction, he turned away abruptly and slammed the window shut.
"Jake," she called out, wishing he would at least give her one friendly smile.
Without even looking back over his shoulder, his voice rang out harshly, "NO!"
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~~oOo~~
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The next several weeks were hectic.
Leah's and Sam's wedding preparations kept everyone busy. Then the wedding day came.
Bella was positive that she had never seen a more happier couple in her life. Leah was a stunning bride and Sam was glowing just as bright as the stars in the clear night sky on First Beach where they had exchanged their vows.
Memories of her own over the top wedding and unfortunate, short-lived marriage bubbled up. What a fool she had been. Bella forcefully shoved them aside. It was part of her past now, and this is where she would like it to stay. She had made many mistakes, but she was here now, trying to make each and every single day up to Jacob and bear the consequences with her head held high if he wouldn't forgive her.
So much simpler than her own over-prized wedding dress three years ago, this one was much more beautiful. Leah wore a cute v-neckline ivory dress which stopped right above her knees. A white lily was tucked behind her ear as her only adornment. Sam was dressed in sand-colored pants and a cream coloured button down shirt.
Jacob was dressed similar, only that his pants were dark brown. Bella couldn't stop staring at his muscular legs. Yuma wore the same outfit as his father. He looked adorable when he carried the pillow with the wedding bands with the most concentrated expression on his cute face.
During the wedding ceremony, which was conducted by Billy, no eye stayed dry, including Jacob's.
She had watched him and noticed that he had watched her as well. His eyes were sad but his facial expression had remained hard as stone.
The wedding was followed by laughter, lots of food, a wonderful wedding cake, dancing and a huge bonfire. Most of the night Bella sat comfortably leaned against a thick log, holding a sleeping Yuma in her arms.
Eventually, Jacob came over to her and took his son. "I'll take him now. Go and have something to eat," he said gruffly.
"Okay," answered Bella, her throat suddenly tight. She had known from the first time Leah mentioned her plan that it wouldn't be easy to win him back, but going through each day with him ignoring her broke her heart.
Her desire and need for him seemed to grow stronger each passing day. Every time he was near her, she felt the flutter in her chest and a swarm of butterflies invaded her stomach. It was frustrating.
Tomorrow, Leah and Sam would be leaving for their honeymoon. She felt both excited and scared at once, just thinking about her two weeks she would spend under the same roof as Jacob and Yuma.
Hope. There was hope. Definitely. Now Jacob had talked to her for the first time in what felt like ages. They had a long way ahead of them, and it wouldn't be easy, but it was a start.
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~~oOo~~
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The morning following the wedding started with tears from little Yuma. Although the little man was used to spending some hours away from his mom, he seemed to know that his mom was leaving for a longer period of time.
He screamed of the top of his lungs as he clung to her and refused to leave her arms when she tried to sit him down at the table to give him his breakfast. Finally, Leah gave up and had coffee with her crying son sitting on her lap, trying to sooth her own nerves and calm Yuma.
Torn between her need to help Leah and anxious about seeing Jacob again, Bella was strung tight. How would Jake be this morning? Would he talk to her again?
"Eat, Bella!" Sam said suddenly, pulling Bella out of her thoughts. "You started to lose weight since you've been here. I don't want you to relapse..."
"He's right, actually... You can't let the situation get to you that much," Leah said with a frown. She offered Yuma a piece of bread, but he was still furious and slapped at his mom's hand while leaning back as far as he could go and screaming out his distress.
"I know... but I'm just not hungry," Bella admitted, nibbling on her buttered toast. She was well aware that with the circumstances she was at risk of slipping back into her old habits. After her escape from Esme Island and when Edward started to threaten her with the Volturi, she had been a physical and psychological mess, unable to eat and sleep. She had needed therapy. Of course, she couldn't talk about anything supernatural, but even leaving out vampires and werewolves, there had been enough issues left to deal with. Her therapist had helped her to acknowledge that she had used her eating disorder as self-punishment after Edward had left her, and from that time on Bella had always stopped eating when she felt stressed, anxious, sad or angry. During therapy, Bella learned how to cope with uncomfortable emotions and trigger situations, and she started to build up her self-esteem and self-confidence. Starting her self-defense class had helped her feel stronger and more powerful as well.
When she had run away from Jake instead of talk things out with him, she reverted to her destructive behaviors. However, this time she was aware of what she was doing to herself and she successfully fought it.
Right now though it was much harder maintaining her self-esteem with Jacob constantly ignoring her or giving her the stink eye. Actually, he made her feel frustrated as hell and that definitely was eating at her.
"I'm trying to stay on top of it," Bella said, looking Leah and Sam square in the eyes. Opening up to her friends was also one of the lessons she learned. "I promise to take care of myself. I will eat at all meal times. You can trust me."
"We do trust you, Bella." Sam pressed her hand slightly. He stood up and put his mug and plate into the sink. "You're going to cook for Yuma each day and you will eat with him so he learns to stick to a regular eating schedule, right?" Sam spoke friendly, but his voice was laced with enough force to make Bella know he meant business.
"Yuma!" Leah called out exasperated, but cuddled her son tightly against her chest. "Would you stop screaming already? You're breaking my heart, darling."
Yuma continued crying loudly.
"Oh, little man, how about some of my toast?" Bella asked and tried to coax Yuma into her arms.
Yuma shook his head and just screamed more frantically.
"We can watch Cars if you want, sweetheart," she suggested, knowing that it was Yuma's favorite movie, but he cried only harder.
Sam ran his hands through his hair at the end of his wits. "When did Jake say he'd come over?" he asked, checking the kitchen clock. "Maybe he can calm him down?"
"Call him," Leah said, juggling Yuma on her hip.
"No need, I'm here!" The back door opened and Jacob walked in, dressed in his running attire.
Bella's breath caught in her chest. God, he looked gorgeous!
Ruffling Yuma's hair, Jacob asked. "What's going on? You can hear Yuma all the way down the road."
"He's major mad because Sam and Leah are leaving," Bella informed him, hoping that he would start a conversation with her.
Bella tried to ignore the sting she felt when Jacob walked up next to Leah, again ignoring her completely.
He said to his son, "I'm with you while Mommy's having her vacation, buddy!"
"Want Mommy!" Yuma yelled at him and hid his face in Leah's neck, grabbing his mom's shirt with his hands.
"Until Mommy's back you'll be with me. Think of all the things we can do, Yuma." Jacob gently stroked Yuma's back. "We can go and visit your Gramps. And we'll watch Cars and eat popcorn. Or we can have a walk down on Second Beach and watch starfish. You remember those little ponds? You love it there!"
"NO!"
Not even his father's suggestions could convince Yuma to stop crying. They all finally decided to simply wait until Yuma wore himself completely out.
Leah sat down on the couch with Yuma cuddled against her chest. He was sobbing and hiccupping, his tiny fists clenched tightly in her shirt. Leah had tears streaming down her face, and Bella felt like crying too.
"If it wasn't your honeymoon I would ask you to stay." She sighed and blinked her tears away.
"We need to go," Leah whispered, and brushed away a tear. Then, for the first time in her life, Bella saw that Leah's russet skin flushed. "You remember I stopped breastfeeding him before you came here? Well, the thing is..." Leah cleared her throat, flushing a bit brighter. "I feel like I might start ovulating soon... you know... going into heat..."
"Holy Shit!" Bella breathed and blanched visibly. "No way!"
Leah shrugged. "I'm afraid so."
In the kitchen a plate fell to the floor and smashed. A heartfelt "FUCK!" – clearly Jacob's voice - rang out.
"But it's not even mating season yet!" Bella exclaimed, overwhelmed by the possible implications of Leah's announcement.
Leah laughed out loud. "Who would have thought, huh? Makes me hope that I'm somehow still more human than wolf." Leah tilted her head and watched Bella with barely hidden curiosity. "You know your way around wolves damn well, Swan."
"I'm well informed, Uley!" Bella responded with a grin. "You know I used to watch a pack of wolves at the Anchorage Zoo to distract myself from my homesickness when I was stuck in Alaska."
"Swan, we are a little different than the wolves you observed in the zoo," Leah responded and laughed out loud once more. "You sure are something".
"So, so... homesickness." Leah scoffed and raised an eyebrow. "You should have moved your ass back here a long time ago, Bella, and dealt with your shit right away."
"I know that now," Bella admitted. She shrugged. "But I can't change the past now can I? However, back to the current situation..."
Leah gave her friend a stern look. "So now that you are here, you better do it and don't let him get away from you. I swear to God, Swan, I'm gonna kick your ass myself. I do not ever want to deal with Jacob's heartbreak anymore"
"Yes, Ma'am!" Bella glared back at her, and then, eying the kitchen where she knew Jacob was currently clearing the table, she asked with a whisper, "Does Sam know? About you going into heat, I mean... What will you do?"
Yuma was laying comfortably in Leah's arms now, his earlier crying had exhausted him and his eyes drooped. Leah gently stroked his hair. "I told him of course... And what we will do? Act on it!" Leah laughed again.
"But... but... What if Sam... and Jake." Bella felt at a loss. "You can't... Sam won't... Jake will ..."
"I don't think it will be like last time..." Leah said. "But I won't risk it..." Her lips curled up into a smirk. "Jake is so going to chase us away."
Her smirk faded when she saw Bella's eyes fill with tears.
"Jake!" Leah then said quietly, so she wouldn't startle Yuma who was falling asleep. "I want you to leave the house and check our car. I need to talk to Bella without you listening in."
"Hurry up! You're leaving within the next 30 minutes!" Jacob said with terse finality and walked out of the house, holding himself rigid.
"He would go after you," Bella stated frustrated after a while when she was sure he was gone far enough. All hope she had felt just last night slipped away. Through clenched teeth she added, "I stand no chance against your... this... this... wolf mojo!"
"God, no, Bella!" Leah said emphatically. "He would fight it. It's all instincts and hormones. You know how much he hates it. He will fight it."
Bella shook her head vehemently. "He hates me. He hates that I'm here. He hasn't spoken one single word to me other than last night. It's wearing on me, alright?" She was trembling with frustration. "And now you're telling me the same shit is going to happen like last time?"
"He doesn't want me, Bella. All he wants is you. In his head he's all about you. Sam has seen it. And don't forget... I'm married to Sam now. I'm absolutely not interested in Jake anymore. He is not interested in me at all. It's over between us. He's Yuma's daddy, and that's all about it. We're just friends."
With a frustrated sigh, Bella rubbed her face. Well, those were some fucking news to deal with. Chewing on the information, Bella kept silent for a couple of minutes, trying not to let it get to her too much. This wolf business was what she had agreed on dealing with when she came here. So this is what she would be doing now. She wouldn't let her insecurities get in the way again.
More minutes passed, while Leah tried to calm down Yuma and Bella tried to calm down herself.
"Can I ask you something else, Leah?" Bella eventually asked. "Not that it's any of my business, but I'm your friend and I'm worried, so ..." Nervously, Bella chewed on her lips.
"Sure, spit it out. What do you want to know?"
"I take it you'll come back pregnant, right?" Without waiting for a response, Bella went on. "Yuma is still so little...and he requires so much of your time, and I thought you wanted to start college to further your education, and get a good job eventually?"
Softly rocking Yuma, Leah frowned and her face darkened. "I know Bella, that was what I wanted to do for so long, you are right, but things have changed. I know you really care, but you know... I'm simply grateful that I can get pregnant at all. I thought for so long that I would never have a normal family, that I am nothing but some disturbed and genetic mishap. I am happy now, really happy. I am with the man I loved all my life. When it comes down to it, all I ever wanted... is to get married and have kids. With my Sam."
With a meaningful look, Leah added, "Sam wants the same thing, Bella. He is making a decent income at his job, enough to take care of all of us. And talking of Sam..."
Her eyes wandered over Yuma's now sleeping form with great tenderness. "This is Jacob's boy... And have no doubt, Sam loves Yuma as if he were his own, but... His wolf wants to procreate. He was going stir crazy at the prospect that I'm gonna be fertile soon. He has hope now, too. A hope that means so much to the both of us... Besides, let's face it... Our wolfish nature wouldn't let this opportunity pass. Sam's human side, he wishes for his own kids, too. Like I said... this is our dream come through, Bella. I don't want to deny him that. I simply can't. Maybe the time is not the best time possible. However, we will manage."
Playing with the hem of her shirt, Bella mulled over what Leah had said.
"Just put yourself in my place for a second," Leah said. "What would you do? How would you decide?"
"I would possibly do the same," Bella answered instantly and straight from the heart. Then she looked over her shoulder towards the front door, a sudden thought striking her. "Can Jake hear me?" she whispered cautiously.
Leah strained her ears. "No. He's sitting in the car with the radio blaring and talking to Sam. You're safe." She smirked, watching Bella's eyes flicker with curiosity. "What else do you want to know?"
"So I'm really trying not to freak out, okay? It's still a strange concept to me..." Bella startled to fiddle with the strings of her sweater. "When you're in heat…. well, you're obviously away on vacay… but... Will it still affect Jake? I mean..."
Leah now grinned all over her face. "I don't know really. We are far away. He shouldn't feel anything... But if it does trigger the start of mating season it sure will affect him..." She paused and wiggled her eyebrow. "It'll be you who will be at the receiving end."
Bella gasped. "LEAH!"
"Don't say you wouldn't be happy about it!" Leah was full out laughing now. "You're so horny you're about to combust. I can smell it every time Jake's around..." She tapped her nose, ignoring Bella's furious blush. "When was the last time you've had any, huh?"
Burying her face in her hands, Bella groaned. "You're impossible! And I won't tell you. You can stick your curious nose into other people's business!" With her face still hidden behind her hands, she didn't notice that Jacob returned into the house.
Leah pretended not to notice either, as she prodded again. "Well, you always told me before, didn't you? Let me think... When was the last time you complained about that loser of a boyfriend who wouldn't get you off?"
When Jacob didn't move an inch from where he was standing, she was sure that he was dying to hear whatever Bella would reveal. "So? Was it four months ago or five?"
"It's six months okay? You happy now?" She laughed and jumped up, throwing her arms up in frustration. "Damn, I'm so horny for Jake my fingers are sore and yes, if only he was willing I would jump his bones and fuck his brains out-"
Finally noticing Jacob, Bella stopped, frozen like a deer caught in the headlight. "Oh. My. God!" she stammered and slowly sank down onto the couch.
Barely holding in her laughter, Leah gently lowered the now sleeping kid into Bella's arms. "Oh, Jake!" she said, a bright grin spreading all over her face. "I didn't know you were back."
"I hate you, Leah!" Bella whispered.
"No, honey!" Leah replied. "You love me. And just so you don't think you're alone with your horniness... Jake feels exactly the same, trust me." The last two words were spoken so loud, that there was no chance Jake did not hear her as well.
Bella was sure she was about to die out of embarrassment, especially when she heard in return a loud "Fuck me!" and the door slammed shut.
"Leah, what did you do? Just... kill me now..."
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~~oOo~~
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Leah went outside and found Jacob kicking the dirt by his truck, his face red with anger, and he was cursing under his breath. Calmly, Leah whispered into his ear, "Face it, Black! You know I am right!"
With that she gave him a long and meaningful look and simply smirked as she told him to go straight back into the house and fucking deal with it.
Sam and Leah left then, leaving behind a red-faced Bella and an equally embarrassed Jacob.
Bella quickly busied herself in the kitchen after putting Yuma into his bed, and Jacob hurriedly turned on the TV, keeping the volume on low, so Yuma would not wake.
He heard Bella's heart pounding loud and clear, but so was his own. In addition to that, his crotch felt tight and he cursed his dick, as it was hardening, reacting to her scent, which pissed him off to no end. His wolf was itching to bent her over the kitchen counter and fuck her hard.
Hurriedly, Jacob got up and locked himself into the bathroom to one, kick his wolfs' ass and two, to quickly jerk off before he was able to face her again.
Bella stayed out of his sight until Yuma woke up and demanded his father's attention.
Luckily, Yuma was his sunny self after his nap. When he asked for Leah, Jake calmly told him that she was on vacation with his Pappy Sam.
"Okay," Yuma chirped and took his daddy's hand. "Fishies!" he then demanded, recalling that Jacob had promised to take him to the ponds. Since Jake desperately needed the distraction, he was more than happy to leave the house and Bella's vicinity.
Bella packed up all her things she would need while she lived with Jake. She was nervous as heck. She hasn't stepped foot into his home since that night. She felt comfortable in Leah's house, but could she feel comfortable at Jake's well.
When Jacob and Yuma returned from their walk, Jacob put Bella's bags into the truck bed. Bella locked up Leah's house and they drove to his place. Jacob almost completely ignored her but the occasional glare.
Once they got there, Jacob showed her to the room where she would sleep during her stay, gruffly told her to help herself around the kitchen and then he went to help Yuma to get settled in.
During the first week, Jake made sure to keep his distance from Bella and only spoke to her as he needed to. Usually it pertained to Yuma. Both her and Jake did what they needed to do. They simply took turns taking care of Yuma.
During the day, Bella would bring Yuma to the playgroup or take walks with him while Jacob was at work. She also went to see Billy each afternoon. Yuma would play with his grandfather, and then Yuma was allowed to watch Dora The Explorer while Bella made sure that Billy did the exercises for his legs that Bella had prepared for him. After all, she hadn't studied Physiotherapy for nothing, and Billy needed the workout badly.
On some days, Jacob would come home early and bring some of his work with him. They would then go to his house, where he would work on his laptop and Bella would play with Yuma, read to him and cook dinner.
While at his house, Jacob didn't like it when Bella started cleaning or do his laundry, at least this is what he told her. Even when he would never outright admit it to himself, he was stubborn about it after all. It reminded him too much of how much he had lost. He felt scared getting used to her being around, her taking care of him and then she might simply leave again.
His wolf stirred irritably and protested immediately. Fucker was loving it of course, enjoying it, watching her take care of them.
Naturally, he noticed that as soon as he turned his back on her, she would quickly put away a shirt, rearrange the throw pillows on his sofa, stack away a book or put the dishes in the washer and then pretend she'd done nothing. Alright, so she was a sneaky little thing, and damn did his wolf fucking like it!
He had also caught her making his bed, where she would run her hands almost excessively over his pillow and even rub the fabric against her cheek. He just stood there and watched. What was she thinking, he wondered. Even if he hadn't seen her do it, he could freaking smell her on his bed the second he entered his room for crying out loud. It drove him and his wolf crazy. He simply shook his head and quietly left the room, noticing a smile forming around his lips. Fuck me, was all he could think of again!
His wolf understood at once what she was doing; it took Jacob a while to comprehend, but then he watched her even closer. Was this her way to make him soften up on her?
She knew that he was watching her every move, she felt his eyes on her back constantly.
On their first weekend Jacob took Yuma and went to see Billy, while Bella visited her father and Sue. In the evenings they got back together to have dinner at Billy's and then they would get Yuma to bed.
During the second week, things started to change.
Jacob slowly appeared calmer around Bella. He felt a shift within him; his wolf liking this change apparently as he remained quiet most of the time now. Seeing her taking care of his son in such a tender way, just got to him. However, he still refused to talk with her other than things pertaining Yuma. He knew he was stubborn, but could not help it, for the moment.
One night when he came home from work really late, he found Bella sleeping next to Yuma on the play mat they had put in the living room. She still held a book in her hands that she'd been reading to him. She had her arm curled around him. His heart stirred, and his wolf purred in content. He liked seeing Bella taking care of Jake's baby.
Instead of sitting at his desk to check his emails, he decided to lay down on his stomach next to Yuma. He kissed his forehead and propped his head onto his elbows.
His eyes narrowed as they wandered to Bella's form, observing every detail of her lovely body and face. There were a couple of small frown lines between her eyes, and her cheeks were too pale in color. He could easily detect worry behind her features as he was watching her face closely.
He knew that she was trying really hard to talk to him, but he simply needed some more time. He knew very well that he still and always will love her. There will never be another woman in his eyes. His heart lurched at the sudden pain that he felt again, but her soft breathing distracted him once more. She was so beautiful, sleeping peacefully with Yuma pressed into her side.
Mine! His wolf growled contently.
A strange stirring woke in Jacob. He didn't even argue with his wolf as he could only agree. He still wanted her. Oh, he wanted and he needed her so very badly, but was he ready to forgive her?
He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax. He was tired. It had been a very long day. His thoughts had wandered to her throughout the day, as they usually did but now he had found it hard to concentrate on anything other than her.
He knew that he would dream of her once more this night. He relaxed and let sleep claim him.
Bella woke up, because her hip ached unpleasantly. Slowly blinking open her eyes, soft light spilled from the hallway illuminating the room. Yuma was snuggled against her, sucking peacefully on his thumb.
Behind him Jacob's large body was sprawled out. He had one leg thrown over her thigh, unknowingly pulling her closer. He lay on his outstretched arm, the fingertips touching the top of her head, his fingers gently intertwined with her hair.
Bella barely dared to breathe so she wouldn't wake him up. She stared at him in wonder, simply enjoying the moment. His long, thick lashes cast shadows over his face. His mouth stood slightly open, relaxed, his warm breath tickled her face.
Cautiously, she reached out and curled her hand, gently, around his forearm. Under her hand, his muscles twitched and then relaxed again.
She didn't know how long she watched him. Her eyes wandered freely over his long body over and over. He was so beautiful. Her eyes finally came to a stop at his face. Her eyes caressed every inch of his face, drinking him in. She had missed admiring his face as he would not allow her to look at him for longer than a moment, before turning away from her or leave the room.
She felt so peaceful and complete this moment, but eventually sleep claimed her once again, her dreams filled with her Jacob.
She woke again when it was almost morning. She and Yuma were covered with a thick quilt. All lights were out. The space behind Yuma was empty.
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~~oOo~~
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Ever since that night she noticed his glances more frequently, usually in deep thought. She wished he could bring himself to really look at her and talk with her.
To outsiders, they simply looked like a happy young family.
In those two weeks Bella grew from getting along well with Yuma to love this adorable little boy. Sometimes it seemed as if she was looking into the past and she remembered the boy Jake from her early childhood. The way Yuma would race down the road on his car, the cheeky grins he freely gave her, his carefree chattering and singing... He was just like Jacob once was.
Bella knew enough from her conversations with Leah that Leah, Jacob and Sam had met every one of Yuma's needs instantly, that Yuma didn't need to have a reason to be fussy. Maybe that was why he seemed like the the happiest baby ever.
Leah never seemed afraid of spoiling Yuma as, according to her, there was a difference between responding appropriately to Yuma's needs or giving him everything he wants. In the event that Yuma was fussy or cried, they all knew that there was something wrong with him, either he felt sick or a new tooth broke in. He would never have a reason to cry for attention that was for sure.
Bella didn't have any experience with kids but instinct told her that Yuma's parents did something very right. Yuma simply was such a joy to be around. She really was looking forward to spend more time with him.
Bella and Yuma would connect with Leah and Sam just about every other day, and as soon as they had logged into skype today, Bella noticed right of the bat that Leah seemed different. She was fidgety and couldn't concentrate on Yuma's happy talking nor could she follow Bella's report on how Yuma had been doing the last two days. Leah seemed feverish and very distracted.
Sam on the other hand appeared almost feral. He had Leah in his arms, never losing physical contact once throughout their skype session.
"I think it started..." Leah said towards the end of their conversation. "Will you be alright taking care of Yuma for a couple more days?"
"What started?" Bella asked, but then she knew. "Oh! Uh... No problem." A grin spread all over her face and she would have liked to ask Leah a thousand questions, but she had Yuma sitting on her knees and the content of her questions barely considered appropriate for a kid his age.
Behind Bella, the door opened and Jacob slowly strolled into the room. He had just returned from work. He walked up to the chair and placed his laptop on the desk, while he ruffled Yuma's hair.
"Sam. Leah. How are you do-" he asked as he bent down to glance at the screen, but stopped short looking at Leah.
Sam growled ferociously and even bared his teeth, totally ignoring that Yuma was sitting at the other side of the screen. "Don't you look at her, Black! She's MINE!"
Bella jumped up, startled, and pressed Yuma into her chest protectively. She forced a laugh to escape her lips. "Oh, your Pappy Sam is being funny!" she said, hoping that Sam hadn't scared the boy. "It's time you have your bath anyway. Do you want to help me fill the tub, Yuma?" She hurried out of the room. Yuma giggled when she made him jump up and down on her hip.
"Dude," she heard Jacob say in a soothing voice. "She's yours. I don't want her, alright, and you better watch yourself in front of my son, Uley!"
Sam simply responded with another growl.
Jacob cleared his throat. "I think this conversation is over for now."
He switched off the computer and muttered a low "FUCK!"
Glancing over her shoulder, Bella saw him bury his hands in his hair and cross the room agitatedly. Within the blink of an eye, he stood behind her.
"Are you okay bathing him alone?" he asked through clenched teeth. His body was tense as he towered over her. "I need to go for a run."
"NO!" Bella called out, her voice unusually shrill. "You can't go after her!" She reached out and grabbed his arm, clenching as hard as she could.
"I simply need to run!" he growled, shaking her hand off.
Bella's first notion was to shrink back and let him go. It hurt to see him so worked up over Leah. She loved him so much, but would she be able to endure him crave Leah everytime she went into heat? She shook her head and squared her shoulders. If she wanted him back, she had to fight for him. That's what she had promised to herself.
"No, you don't! You behave like animals over Leah and here's Yuma wondering what's going on with his daddies!" she said vigorously. With a nod of her head she pointed towards Yuma who had his face hidden in her neck.
A twinge of guilt washed over Jacob's face. "Did we scare you, buddy?" he asked his son.
Yuma nodded and pushed his head further into Bella's neck.
She glared at Jacob, feeling very protective over the little boy.
With a sigh, Jacob gently took Yuma from Bella's arms. "I'm sorry, Yuma," he said. "There will be no fighting with your Pappy Sam."
Yuma stared at his daddy with wide eyes. "We don't fight!" he then recited loudly, concentrating hard, remembering what he heard other mommies say to their kids at the playground he played at regularly. Bella had to bite back a smile, while nodding earnestly back at Yuma. She said, "That's right, little man. We do not fight." Yuma was just too cute.
"No gwow-ling!" Yuma demanded and put his left hand on Jacob's cheeks. He stared into his father's eyes, looking exactly like Leah when she would tell him off.
"Okay, you're right. No growling either." Jacob turned and carried Yuma into the bathroom. "How about I give you your bath now?"
Yuma nodded, but still called out, "'Ella!" He reached out for Bella, keeping one hand wrapped around his father's neck.
"I think he wants us both..." Bella mused.
Jacob agreed with a curt nod of his head. As he filled the tub with warm water, he turned to look at her with an unreadable expression. "Thank you," he then said quietly. "And just so you know... I wasn't going after Leah. It was just that my wolf didn't like Sam stand up against me..."
Bella's breath caught. She could only stare at him. It was the longest they had talked to each other since... well... a really long time.
.
~~oOo~~