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Here it is, second last chapter, Chapter 38. Hope you like it!

ENJOY!

Chapter 38

She woke up to the soft almost silent voice of Sebastian, "I'm sorry…"
She opened her eyes and lifted her head off his chest, he was still asleep but he was lightly tossing his head to the side, mumbling in his sleep, "I'm sorry…Please… I'm not a monster… Please… I love you… I'm sorry… please."

She slightly shook him, "Sebastian, wake up, you're dreaming."

His eyes jolted open and abruptly sat up. His forehead was laced with sweat, his breath short and sharp as his eyes darted around the room. Clary sat up, watching him with concerned eyes.

She gently placed a hand on his shoulder but he flinched away, resting his scared eyes on her concerned ones.

His breath was still coming out in short painful gasps, "Shh, calm down. Sebastian everything is alright. It was just a nightmare."

She was now cupping his cheeks in an attempt to calm him.

He shook his head in reply, "No. No. It wasn't a dream it was a memory." His breaths were still short and sharp but she could sense that he was starting to slowly calm down.

He dipped his head, leaning forward, resting it in the nook of her neck. She instinctively wrapped her arms around him, gently running her fingers through his hair. His shoulders slightly shaking as he wept for the second time in his life.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He kept repeating even though Clary kept saying it was fine, that she was fine, he kept saying it over and over again.

After what felt like a millennium of his sobs and her comforts, everything went quiet. She gently lifted his chin so that their gaze met. His eyes were red and full of sorrow, his cheeks stained from his tears. They stared into each others' eyes for a moment before she gently brushed her lips against his, "I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too." He mumbled back as the kiss deepened. He slowly rolled over, Clary laying underneath him. Her hands running under his shirt, feeling his hard, smooth muscular stomach and in one swift motion, only breaking from their kiss for a moment, he pulled his shirt off and discarded it to the ground. The tiniest moan escaped her and Sebastian took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth, entangling with hers causing another tiny moan to escape her. She ran her hands up his stomach, around his back, feeling his strong shoulders; she pulled him down even more, wanting it all. She felt her robe fall open and his hands start to feel her up her sides, momentarily lingering on her soft breasts until he cupped her cheek. Clary involuntarily flinched and winced as his hand pressed against her bruised cheek. He broke from their kiss and sat up abruptly, turning away from her. She sat up and moved over to him, wrapping her arms around him form the back and started trailing kisses across his shoulder, "Hey, I'm fine. Come on." She went to push him down on the bed but he yanked out of her grip and stood up. Clary sat there watching with hurt-filled eyes as he picked up his shirt and shrugged it on. "Sebastian?"

"I can't. I just can't, not after…" He looked down in shame, his back still to her.

Clary self-consciously pulled the robed back across her exposed body, "I'm… I'm gonna go get dressed." She said finally, standing up and rushing over to the wardrobe, not wanting to talk or look at him any longer. She slammed the door behind her and stormed over to her draws, yanking them open and pulling out an 'All Time Low' T-shirt and a pair of denim shorts. She yanked on underwear and a bra and then the t-shirt and shorts. She stormed back out of the closet to find that Sebastian had left. She sighed in frustration as she made her way over to the bathroom. As she looked herself in the mirror she cringed as she saw the purple bruise across her cheek. She started poking around through her make-up and pulled out her foundation and concealer. Giving it her best attempts to hide it as much as she could but it wasn't much considering she winced every time she touched it. She sighed as she packed away her make-up and headed out of her room and downstairs. She walked into the kitchen. She started making herself a ham and cranberry sandwich. As she sat down and took her first bite Jacob walked in.

"Hey Clary." He said as he pulled a coke out of the fridge and sat down across from her.

"Hey." She said before taking her second bite.

He looked at her with concerned eyes, "How are you?"

She sighed, "I'm fine."

He opened his drink and took a sip, "You know he's broken about it, don't you?"

She kept looking down at her sandwich, "I know, I just don't know what to do to make it better."
"There's nothing you can do about it, just let him deal with it how he deals with it. It's the only way, trust me, I know how he is."

She looked up and the corner of her mouth turned up, "How did you two meet? I mean it looks like you two have known each other for a while."

He chuckled slightly, "Yeah. I met Sebastian, Jonathon back then, when he was 13, I was 17. My parents were in The Circle and introduced it to me when I was 16 a year later Valentine, and I'm not joking, assigned me to baby sit him."

She laughed slightly, "What? No way!"

"It's sad but true. Valentine was so sure that Jonathon was evil and was all demon but the boy I met was just that, a boy, a frightened boy. He was terrified of Valentine so I offered to train with him instead. We became closer after every session and I learnt about what Valentine did to him, the beatings and abuse I hated seeing him like that. Anyway, despite the age difference we were best friends, brothers even so two months before my 18th birthday, he was 14 at this point, I asked him to be my parabatai. After about a week of thinking he finally said yes, he told his father about it one night when my parents and I had dinner with them. His father said no without hesitation and his 'reason' was that because of the demon blood in Jonathon and that it wouldn't work. BULLSHIT! It was because he couldn't stand the possibility of Jonathon actually being happy. I found out later that he beat him that night and worse than usual. After I turned 18 Jonathon started to drift away and tried to make his father proud a lot more than usual, but we still trained together but he wasn't… himself anymore and then he got the job as Sebastian Verlac and he was gone for good or so I thought. Then Valentine died and Lilith brought him back and then he brought Jace here, and at ne point I thought he was getting back to himself but turns out that was just Lilith's rune and it was the part of Jace that made me think he was getting back to normal and then…" The corner of his mouth twitched up, "You came along, we started training again and he started getting back to normal and then after he found out you were pregnant and you disappeared he was obsessed with finding you. But I was happy that he was… feeling again and now that your hear he's been himself, as he'd put it he's been human and you have to understand that for along time he was that demon and it's hard to let go of something you've known for a long time. I think it just snuck up when he hit you but he realised what he did straight away and now he's torn apart and he'll never forgive himself… I'm afraid that he might… that he might slip back into that darkness again."

Clary's heart was racing at what she was hearing, the thought of Valentine hurting Sebastian made her blood boil and the thought of him being happy made joy light up in her and the thought that he might slip back into the darkness made her heart shatter.

She sat there for a moment in silence, "I won't let that happen."

Jacob smiled, "I hoped you say that."

"Hey babe, we've got to get going. I have my doctors appointment." Becka said as she came up behind Jacob, snaking her arms around him and kissing him lightly on the cheek.

"K. See ya Clary." He said as he stood up and linked hands with Becka

"See ya Clary." She said as the started to draw the portal rune.

"Bye Becka, bye Jacob." Clary waved to them as they stepped into the portal.

Clary looked down at her half eaten sandwich and sighed as she realised that she wasn't hungry anymore. She chucked the sandwich in the bin and the plate in the sink and then headed over to the couch to watch some TV. She walked over to the DVD rack that she got Sebastian to buy along with the DVDs that filled it. After a minute of contemplation she decided on watching Gossip Girl Season 4 – yes, it's not her usual sort of show but she just fell in love with Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. What?! It's her guilty pleasure – She put in the first disk and spread herself across the couch, her head under a pillow and on leg hanging off the edge. She pressed play on the remote and it started up.

As the first disk finished, Clary groaned as she pulled herself out of her comfy position and changed the disk. Just before she pressed play she heard a blood curdling scream echo through the Apartment. She bolted into a sitting position and looked around panicking. Another scream went thought the Apartment once again. Clary was now standing and she knew it was a girl that was screaming. Without thought Clary's feet were taking her down to the basement. She burst into the cell to find Maia cowering on the floor her hand covering steaming face. She was whimpering in agony. Three of the Circle members were standing around her laughing.

"STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Clary demanded as she went to Maia's side; trying to move her hands away from her face but she just flinched away.

The three men fell quiet, Clary looked up and scolded them, "Leave us!" They stood there for a moment before, "NOW!"

Two of them went to leave but stopped as the third one, a bulky tall man said in a stern partly amused tone, "No."

Clary looked up and scolded him, "No?!"

He grinned smugly, "No. I'm not leaving."

Clary raised to her feet, her back straight and her stare soul shattering, "No?! Do you know who your talking to?! I'm your queen!" Yes she hated talking like this but Sebastian had made it clear that it was necessary.

His smug was wiped form his face, his large arms crossed over his chest as he took a step forward, he stared down at her with a the eyes of hell, "Queen? You're no queen! You may be screwing our leader but you are not our queen! Sure you aren't a traitor but you are not our Queen!" He took another step forward, she could feel his breath on her face, "but you know what really makes me sick, Angel Girl? The fact that he fell for such a stupid, bland piece of ass. I mean look at you, you're tiny! There is no way you could be that good in bed." She heard the two guys behind her chuckle, "and the fact that you're his sister makes it even worse!" He spat the word sister as if it was acid in his mouth.

At first Clary was terrified but suddenly she felt a hot rage boil inside her, everything went red, "Don't you dare talk to me like that!" She shoved him as hard as she could, only causing him to take a few steps back but he was, at least, slightly shocked at her action. "I am your Queen! Whether you like it or not! I AM A MORGENSTERN! AND THIS IS WHAT MORGENSTERNS DO! WE ARE POWER! YOU ARE A WORTHLESS BUG COMPAIRED TO ME!" She hadn't realised until now that she had hi pressed up against a wall with a sword at his the throat, she swallowed but kept her voice stern, "Don't you dare talk to me like that ever again! Do you understand?" He stayed quiet, "I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!"

"Y-Y-Yes… my queen."

She grinned smugly and moved the sword away form his throat. He stammered and darted out of the cell and up the stairs. Clary looked down at the sword at her hands for a moment before letting it fall to the floor and turning around to find Maia still curled up on the floor, whimpering and Sebastian standing in the doorway with a smug grin on his face. She looked at him for a moment and then kneeled down next to Maia, once again attempting to get her hands away from her burned face so that Clary could inspect the damage.

Sebastian kneeled down next to Clary, he placed a hand on her shoulder she shrugged him off and continued trying to get Maia to let Clary help her, "Maia, please…"

"Clary… You know what's going to happen don't you?" Sebastian said, as he gently took Clary's hands away form Maia's.

She turned to him with a concerned look in her eyes, "What are you talking about?"

He looked down, not wanting to see her reaction, "We have what we need from her or at least as much as we could get and now… we don't need her anymore and we cant just let her go… Clary we have to, we have to kill her."

Clary felt her stomach drop and her tears form, "What?" She choked.

He looked up at her and his heart cracked as he saw the despair in her eyes, "I'm sorry, I know you knew her but I have to."

"No." She shook her head as she pulled away from him and stood up, "No…"

He stood up, trying to reason with her, "Clary, you have to understand-"

"No I don't! I don't have to do anything!" She looked down at the cowering Maia and tears started to fall as she heard the wolf-girl's pleads, "Just do it… Please just do it…do it now…"

Clary couldn't handle this anymore, she bolted out of the cell but as she reached the steps she dropped to her knees as she heard the slash of a sword. With much hesitation, Clary turned around and let out a cry as she saw Maia, lying on the ground with blood pooling around her. Sebastian was now standing in front of Clary, wrapping his arms around her, trying to calm her, "It was for the best Clary, please understand that."

She wanted to yank out of his embrace and run back up to her room but her body instinctively leaned against him and letting her tears dampen his shirt. She felt her knees shake and finally give in but before she collapsed Sebastian's arms were beneath her and carrying her up the stairs.

He placed her down on the bed and pulled the blanket over her. As he went to turn and walk away she grabbed his hand and whispered, "Stop. Just stop."
"Stop what?"

"Everything. Stop your plans, stop the destruction, stop the heartache and the self-hate… Just stop." She said as she looked up at him with water eyes. He looked at her with sorrow in his eyes and he brushed his lips against hers and mumbled, "I'm sorry for everything I've put you though."

"I know you are, just stay here, with me." She said as she pulled him down into another soft, teary kiss.

He slowly crawled on top of her, their kiss was salty with Clary's tears. He slowly broke away and laid down next to her, on his side. Her arm draped across his waist and his arms wrapped around her as she laid her head on his chest, embracing his warmth and familiar scent. He started running his fingers through the bottom of her hair as he whispered to her, "I'm sorry, for dragging you into this life, into my world and pulling you out of yours. I'll call it off, I'll call it all off, for you. Is there anywhere you want to go after all of this is over?"

She thought for a moment, "I don't care as long as I'm with you and we have a family together."

"Clary-" he choked, as he knew it wasn't possible, "We can't…"

"Maybe we could, if you look around and to do some research we might be able to… to have a family." She said with a croaky voice.

He was silent for a moment and then whispered, "Ok… I'll try."

She smiled softly at this and felt her eyelids start to droop and her body drift off into a dreamless sleep.

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