Chapter Seventeen
Alinja refrained from telling Erik that he wasn't going to coming with her on this mission. She wanted to tell him at the right moment. She could feel that he wasn't himself since last night—or maybe he had been feeling this way for a while, but he had managed to hide it from her somehow. That thought made her stomach twist. He could always pick up on when she was upset, even if she tried her hardest to hide it. The fact that she couldn't made her feel like she was a bad friend.
They decided to take a carriage to Solitude and leave Delphine behind as she said she needed to take care of a few things before she left herself. So Alinja sat opposite from Erik on the carriage, not sure where to look. Slight anger began to rise within her. She had never felt awkward with Erik before, even when they first met thirteen years ago. They just clicked at were best friends from the start. She pressed her lips together and squeezed her hands warm. She stole a glance at Erik. His eyes were on his hands which were on his lap. He still wouldn't look at her. She sighed silently. Maybe she should have let their intimacy continue further that night. She frowned suddenly. If I'm not comfortable, I shouldn't beat myself up over it. I was uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable. I was… she continued to repeat those words as if she felt it would make her feel better, but it only succeeded in making her feel worse. She was now blaming Erik. That wasn't right…was it?
The rest of the way, they didn't talk to each other. Meeko constantly shifted, clearly unhappy about the unwanted tension in the carriage. Once they finally reached Solitude.
"So why are we in Solitude?" Erik asked and Alinja thought she would faint. He started a conversation!
Maintaining her composure, she replied, "Delphine wanted me to look for this contact of hers so he will help me…uh…us, get into the Thalmor Embassy to see if they know anything about the dragons."
"Right." Erik kept his gaze forward as they entered the Winking Skeever.
Alinja looked around the Inn, scanning for a Wood Elf. She finally caught a glimpse of a Bosmer sitting alone in the back on the Inn, drinking by himself. Glancing around for any other sign of Wood Elves, she made her way to him.
"Hello," She greeted awkwardly.
"Nord," he acknowledged.
"Are you Malborn by any chance?" Alinja felt uncomfortable and kept going through scenarios in her head of this being the wrong man and him getting upset about it.
"Who sent you?" He put his tankard down and raised his head to look at his company.
"Our…mutual friend." Alinja replied.
"Really?" The elf exclaimed. "You're who she picked?" He sighed heavily and Alinja supressed the urge to hit him over the head. "I hope she knows what she's doing. Okay, here's the deal. I can smuggle some equipment into the Embassy for you." He glanced at Erik. "Any only you."
"What's that supposed mean?" Erik asked, looking directly at Alinja.
"I…urm…" Alinja chewed her lip and then turned her gaze to Malborn. "Could you just…give us a minute?" She didn't wait for a reply as she took Erik's arm and lead him out of the building and into the streets of Solitude.
Alinja's heart pounded in her chest. She had intended to tell Erik that he needed to sit this mission out, but the opportunity never came up, however she thought that he would understand if she just explained the reasons behind it.
"I was meant to tell you…" she started.
"That you don't need me anymore?" Erik interrupted.
That took Alinja by surprise. "No, that's not—"
"No, you seem to be capable of taking care of yourself now that you're the Dragonborn."
"Erik, what's gotten into you?" Alinja frowned. "This isn't like you."
"Well I'm frustrated," he confessed. "Frustrated that you've become a liar."
"A liar?" Confusion swept over her. Where did that accusation come from? "How am I a liar?"
"You constantly said that we were in this together." He explained hastily. "And ever since you've become Dragonborn, everything seems to revolve around you."
"That's because I'm—"
"No! I don't want to hear it!" Erik raised his hands up.
"Erik if you let me—"
"I don't need you to explain anything to me, because I'm now unimportant." He cast his gaze down. "I'm…"
"Erik," Alinja shifted to him and touched his fingers.
He took them away quickly. "Don't."
Alinja's eyebrows knotted harshly together. "Erik, you're being childish! You can't just get angry because I'm not—"
"I understand that you're too great and powerful to have me with you anymore."
"Will you stop interrupting me?" Alinja yelled. "Maybe if you just listened to what I have to say you wouldn't be so angry!"
"You don't need me." Erik said. "You've always been the high achiever. And now that you're the great hero, you've become a Thane, you've killed two dragons, have secret conversations with some Breton woman that I don't even think you trust, you even think you're too good to be touched—"
"That's what this is about?" Alinja screeched. "You're angry because I wouldn't sleep with you?"
"Oh no, the Dragonborn has to remain pure." Erik said sarcastically.
"Would you stop acting like this?!" Alinja shouted. "I don't even know you anymore!"
"So then I'll leave!" Erik shouted back. "You're doing quite fine without me!"
Alinja's Nord blood boiled. He was being so childish! "You can't be angry at me for something like that!"
"And yet I am."
"Then go!" Alinja screamed.
"That's what I plan to do!"
"Gods you're infuriating!"
"Oh no! I wouldn't want to get you angry!" Erik moved closer to her, scowling hard. "What will happen to the world if their saviour got angry? The one who disregards her friends in order to gain her own personal fame!"
Slap!
The sound rang out throughout the street. Silence followed and an eerie stillness radiated off the Nords.
Alinja's voice was a cold anger. "If that is how you think I feel about you. Then. Go."
Erik kept his head turned the way Alinja's hand had struck him, clenching his jaw tightly. Then, slowly, he turned to look her in the eye.
Breathing out, he whispered softly, "Goodbye. Alinja."
Still feeling the sensation of her assault on her hand Alinja realised what she had done.
"Erik…wait…" She called after him as he walked away from her, only turning to call Meeko to him.
Meeko had his head down and his ears flat. He didn't want to have to pick between his two masters. He looked sadly at Alinja and whined before turning and following Erik as they walked towards the doors out of Solitude.
Alinja fought to keep tears from falling. As she stared at Erik's back, she thought back to everything they've been through whilst adventuring. Their first fight with the Sabre Cat; the fight with the bandits to get Armen's sword; him saving her from being brutally raped by the bandit chief; fighting the mages at Wolfskull Cave; the nightmare…; becoming Dragonborn. He was always there. And now she was alone. She bit her lip hard to stop the tears from falling. Blood trickled down her lip which snapped her back to reality. Wiping her mouth she turned back to the Winking Skeever. Even though her heart was tearing as if a necromancer was ripping it for a potion—or poison, she had to move on. Thousands of lives were at stake if the dragons won. She was the Dragonborn. Whether the title had torn her life apart or not, she had to move forward.
Walking back into the Inn, Alinja made her way back to Malborn.
"What happened to your friend?" he asked unsympathetically.
"I…" she grated her teeth together to stop her eyes from welling up. "I dismissed him. Seeing as you can't get us both in." She was surprised at her own voice, suddenly cold and bitter.
"Don't get angry at me!" Malborn looked into his tankard. "Delphine's the one who told me to prepare to smuggle one person's things in. Now, what are you taking?"
Alinja roughly undid the fastenings to her sword. "Take this."
"That all?" Malborn glanced at her from head to toe. "No armour?"
She glared at him and undid her armour, leaving her in her soft fabric tunic. "And these."
Before he could comment on her boldness, she left, ignoring the strange stares and whispers of the people around her. Alinja met up with Delphine who gave her a strange look for her lack of clothing, but chose not to comment.
"I'm ready." Alinja said, suddenly feeling drained and definitely not ready for a party. She just wanted to run as far away from Skyrim and all its problems and bury herself deep in the ground. No...she wanted…she wanted him.
"Not like that you're not." Delphine finally gestured to her apparel.
Alinja avoided her gaze, not paying attention properly.
Delphine sighed quietly. "I saw your friend and your dog walking away from Solitude. I'm guessing he didn't take the news too well?"
"I'd rather not talk about it." Alinja replied, her stomach twisting and turning inside her.
"Fare enough, Dragonborn." She turned around and bent over, lifting the latch off a chest. "Here, I got you…party clothes. Put them on and then board the carriage. I already payed the fee."
Alinja nodded and wrapped the pale red fine clothes around her, buckling the belt and slipping into the shoes. Ready, now, she gave her pack to Delphine.
"I guess that'll have to do." She said looking the Nord up and down. "I'll keep your things safe. Meet me back in Riverwood when you've found out the information we need. And please," she stared directly at Alinja, "be careful. You don't want to get found out. Try to get out of there as quickly as possible with the information—Dragonborn are you listening?"
Alinja shook her head vacantly, her mind wondering to her fight with Erik.
Delphine sighed. "I'll see you back at Riverwood." With that she bid Alinja farewell.
Alinja felt the carriage moving, but didn't register where she was going until the cart pulled up to the Thalmor Embassy. Vacuously, she got off the carriage and walked up the steps to the grey building, only to be stopped by a tall High Elf Wizard. He was dressed in the Thalmor hooded robes and was saying something to her, but it flew over Alinja's head.
"Hm?" Alinja tried to focus.
"Uhm, you're invitation, ma'am." He repeated awkwardly.
Alinja stared at him for a longer than she intended, the elf shifting uncomfortably in her gaze.
"Oh, yeah, here." She handed him the invitation Delphine had given her.
"Thank you, ma'am," the Altmer said with a forced smile, "please, go right in."
Alinja was faintly aware that there was another man behind her, talking to another High Elf—something about having a knife strapped to his thigh? She didn't pay attention. When she pushed open the black doors to the Embassy, the first thing she was greeted with was heat. And lots of it. She cringed and groaned. Why is it so hot in here? She thought to herself. A female Altmer with the signature golden skin of the High Elves and matching shoulder length golden hair and gold eyes. Alinja thought she looked like a statue made out of the stuff. The woman smiled brightly and Alinja thought she would spontaneously combust right then and there.
"Welcome." She said, elegantly striding over to her. "I don't believe we've met. I am Elenwen, the Thalmor Ambassador to Skyrim. And you are…?"
Alinja wanted to run. She knew she had to infiltrate the Thalmor Embassy, but she's never done a quest without Erik before. Fear writhed throughout her body. She wanted Erik. She needed him there by her side. He always managed to make her feel calm. Her panic rose as she realised that he wasn't there. She fought hard with herself to keep the tears back as she stared at the gold statue, awaiting her answer. She wanted to run. She wanted to hide. She wanted to cry. She wanted Erik. She needed to scream. She needed to yell. She needed to shout. She needed Erik. She yearned to be home. She yearned to be adventuring. She yearned to be by his side. She yearned for Erik. She adored Erik. She respected Erik. She loved Erik. She wanted! She needed! She yearned! She…
"My name is Alinja." She said as calmly as her voice would allow her. "Pleased to meet you."
"Ah, yes." Elenwen nodded with recognition. "I remember your name from the guest list. Please," a slight sly glint in her eye caught Alinja's attention, "tell me more about yourself. What brings you to this…" she cleared her throat. "…to Skyrim…?"
"Madame Ambassador, I'm so sorry to interrupt…" Alinja's eyes rose as she saw Malborn standing behind a bar counter.
"What is it Malborn?" Elenwen questioned impatiently.
Malborn played with his fingers, uncomfortably and said submissively, "It's just that we've run out of the Alto wine. Do I have your permission to uncork the Arenthia red—"
"Of course!" Elenwen struggled to keep her voice even. "I've told you before not to bother me with such trifles."
"Yes, Madame Ambassador." Malborn averted her gaze.
"I'm sorry," Elenwen turned back to Alinja who had been staring off into the distance, "we'll have to get better acquainted later. Please, do enjoy yourself." She walked off and mingled with the guests.
Alinja slowly turned her gaze to Malborn. She walked to him and he placed his hands on the counter, grinning—though it was extremely forced.
"What can I get for you?" he asked loudly, he then leaned forward and spoke quieter. "You made it in. Good. As soon as you distract the guards, I'll open this door and we can get you on your way. Let's hope we both make it through this day."
Alinja nodded and walked away to look around the room. It was relatively small and made of stone. She realised that the heat was coming from two fireplaces, and wall braziers. There was a good amount of people in the room, all wearing very expensive looking clothes and jewellery. Her heart nearly stopped—would it not have already been torn apart—when she caught sight of Jarl Balgruuf. What's he doing here?
Not seeing any reason not to talk to him, she walked over to him. "Hello, Jarl."
"Thane?" Balgruuf's blonde-grey eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"Well…" She struggled to find an answer.
"Ah!" Balguruuf laughed. "By Shor, word travels fast of your new title as the great Dragonborn, doesn't it?" He laughed heartily and sipped from the goblet he was holding. "How do you like the brandy? This stuff," he looked into his drink, "this is good!"
Alinja forced herself to continue the conversation. "What is it?"
"Colovian Brandy!" He replied, taking another sip. "Get yourself a cup! The night is still young!" He pointed to a Woof Elf waitress who was standing out of the way of the crowd, holding a silver platter with silver goblets on top of it.
Alinja didn't feel like drinking, but she wasn't about to refuse the Jarl. She pressed her lips together and strode over to the Bosmer woman.
She looked up and smiled, warmly at her. Alinja's eyebrows twitched with suspicion as she caught sight of a large bruise just below her jaw. Continuing her observations, she saw that the woman also had pale pink scars on the side of her lip and right brow. Her left eye was also slightly bruised and swollen, however it was hard to tell as her dark skin mostly hid it.
"Ma'am?" The voice of the waitress cut into Alinja's observations.
"Huh?"
"Would you like a drink?" the smile never left her face.
"Oh, uh, yes. Okay."
"Here you go, Miss." She handed Alinja a goblet. "Colovian Brandy. Enjoy!"
Alinja took the drink and sipped it. The taste was fruity-sweet with a hint of bitterness and an aftertaste of sourness. The sweetness tasted similar to juniper berries, but also some other fruit she didn't recognise. The bitterness, she guessed, was from the barley or wheat used to make it alcoholic and the sourness tasted like jazbay grapes and blueberries. She licked the foam from her top lip and looked at the elf.
"It's very good." She complimented.
"Thank you, Miss." The waitress replied, still not faltering in her smile. "I helped the brewer make this one. I'm glad you like it. The brewer will be glad too. Please enjoy the evening."
Alinja nodded and went to sit down on one of the benches. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a man sit down next to her, muttering to himself.
"What does a man need to do to get a drink around here?" He was mumbling.
Alinja glanced at him. He was a Redguard, who wasn't dressed like the rest of the people at the party. He wore a blue merchant's tunic with rough, but clean brown boots.
She looked down at her drink. "Here." She said, handing over her drink to the man.
His eyes widened with appreciation. He looked at the cup, mouth open in surprise, and then up at Alinja. "Are you sure?" When she nodded, he took the goblet and drank deeply. "My good lady, you and I just became best friends. Put it there!" he held his hand out to her and when Alinja shook it, he introduced himself. "The name's Razelan. Nice t' meetcha!"
"Alinja." She replied.
"Ah, a beautiful name for a beautiful lady!" He drank deeply again from the cup and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "If there is anything I can do for you, friend, anything! Do not hesitate to ask me!"
"No, don't—" Alinja was interrupted by a loud crash.
She looked around to see the elven waitress had dropped her platter, the goblets spilling onto the floor. A noble man wearing blue fine clothes and a Snowy Sabre Cat's fur draped over his shoulders. The man was tightly gripping the woman's arm and she was whimpering in fear and pain, averting his gaze submissively.
"Don't you dare walk away from me, you slut!" The man shouted. "Do you know who I am?"
"Please sir!" The elf whimpered. "Leave me alone!"
People began to look at the two, even the guards turned around to see what was going on. Alinja took this chance to stand and hurriedly walk over to Malborn who was standing by a door behind where he was standing.
"Now you're going to be sorry you crossed me!" the man was yelling.
"Let's go! Let's go!" Malborn whispered loudly, tugging on Alinja's sleeve. "Before anyone notices us!"
The two left the scene and the entered what looked like a kitchen. A Khajiit woman was stirring a pot when she sniffed and turned her head, annoyance streaked across her face.
"Who comes, Malborn?" her gruff voice clearly irritated. "You know I don't like strange smells in my kitchen."
"A guest, feeling ill. Leave the poor wretch be." Malborn replied calmly.
"A guest?" The Khajiit questioned suspiciously. "In the kitchens? You know this is against the rules…"
"Rules is it, Tsavani?" Malborn turned to look at her. "I didn't realise that eating Moon Sugar was permitted. Perhaps I should ask the Ambassador…"
"Tss!" Tsavani hissed. "Get out of here! I saw nothing."
Malborn nodded and lead Alinja into a small storage room. "Your gear is in that chest I'll lock the door behind you. Don't screw this up." Alinja nodded and he left her to change into her glass armour. She placed the fine clothes back into the chest and knocked quietly on the door behind her.
"Okay, I'm ready. Good luck, Malborn." Alinja whispered.
"Fine, but hurry it up, before someone realises you're missing." Malborn whispered back from the other side of the door.
Alinja hurried to the other side of the store room which had another door and that was her ticket to the rest of the building. Silently closing the door behind her she crept up to a door which was open on her left. It lead to another room where two Altmers were conversing and complaining about the mages in their ranks. Alinja kept silent as one of them walked out of the room and continued down the hallway and into another room. Breathing in, she poked her head around the door and looked into the room where the elves were talking. The other elf had walked up stairs that was situated behind a counter. Seeing this as her only chance, she hurried in and crept quickly to the other side of the room. As quietly as she could she pushed open a door which lead out into a courtyard. Slowly standing, she peaked around the edge of the doorway.
A Thalmor mage was standing in front of the door of a building with his arms folded. Alinja spotted three Thalmor soldiers wearing a full set of golden elven armour. She guessed that there would be some sort of information in the building the mage was guarding.
Keeping low, she crept along a small stone fence and looked around the corner to see two of the soldiers head down a short flight of stairs and into the main part of the courtyard. Just as she was about to silently follow them; she was suddenly knocked to the ground.
"So, you think you can infiltrate the Thalmor Embassy, little spy?" Alinja looked up to see another Thalmor soldier standing over her with his elven weapon drawn and aimed at her throat.
She froze, unsure of how to continue. She wouldn't be able to move unless she wanted a sword cutting off her windpipe; but she had heard stories back in Rorikstead from Stormcloak couriers that Thalmor torture their prisoners horribly with no chance of ever escaping. There was no way out of this situation unless…
"Fus!" Alinja Shouted. The soldier cried out in confusion as he was forced back.
Alinja leapt to her feet, drawing her glass sword, not wasting any time, she stuck the green-tinged blade through his neck and turned around, knowing her Shout would have alerted the other Thalmor. The two that had walked down the stairs, came running back and the mage had left his post, a lightning spell sparking in one hand and a ward spell in the other. She tried to Shout again, but nothing came out but a feeble "fus". Why isn't this working? She asked herself, frustrated at her power for forsaking her.
"Plan B." She muttered and opened her mouth and yelled so loud she was afraid the people in the party would be able to hear her. It was the Nords' racial power the Battle Cry.
*Dedicated to the miscarriage who would have been my older brother or sister.*