Hello, my lovely readers. This chapter is dedicated to the girls and boys who have dealt with the real monsters in the world. You are not alone! You are survivors! On with the show…
Chapter 39: Seeing Life through Her Eyes
Nearly a year after I had been sent away to boarding school I had not had to think about or to see Hayley Marshall. To be frank, this made me quite happy. That would be why, when Caroline announced that Hayley would be coming with her during her next visit, I had crumpled the letter in my fist and thrown it across the room.
Marcel had picked it up and unfolded it, "What's up? Did the piece of paper do something to offend you?" He was chuckling until he saw the angry look on my face. Then he began to skim the letter, "Oh, the H word is coming for a little visit."
"Yes, the H word is coming and I do not intend to be here when she arrives. You will have to make an excuse to Caroline. I will be in the infirmary if she would like to see me but I will not stay in the same room as that… girl."
"Klaus, come on? Bygones," Marcel pleaded with his easy-going grin and I had to force myself to resist his attempts to placate me.
"She's the reason I'm here, Marcel," I told him, seething with barely contained rage.
"Is here so bad?" Marcel asked me, folding his arms and I shook my head. "Tolerance, Klaus. You need to learn to tolerate people you don't like. Holding on to all that hate will just drag you down, not hurt her."
"Why should I? I do not have to deal with anyone that I do not wish to," I informed Marcel, straightening up to my full height I felt frustrated that he seemed to always be taller than I was. Rolling my eyes and deflating I walked to the door, "I will see you when she leaves."
"Whatever, man," Marcel rolled his eyes as I closed the door behind me. I needed to come up with a good excuse that I needed to be in the infirmary or they would throw me back out. Walking down the stairs, I decided to go for a walk. If I were lucky I would trip over a rock and sprain my ankle. Or I could rub myself with the poison oak but I did like to have a rash. Besides if I got a rash and Caroline came down to see me she would get it too because she would insist on giving me a hug.
Groaning, I stared up at the sky and wished for rain so that I could catch a cold. Something. Anything that would mean that I would not have to deal with Hayley. 'Please,' I begged the universe.
The universe was not on my side. "Nik," Caroline squealed and I turned around just in time for her to leap into my arms and knock me off my feet. "I missed you," Caroline said, sweeping her hair behind her shoulder and smiling down at me.
"I missed you, too," I whispered before pushing myself to my feet. My gaze flicked momentarily to Hayley who was standing a few feet away, twisting her hair around her hand and looking worried. Gritting my teeth, my gaze moved until I found two more familiar faces. "Kat!" I exclaimed shocked. She was the last person that I would expect to accompany Hayley and Caroline on this trip.
"Hey, jerk," Katherine called to me with a smirk. She then held out her arms and without a thought, I went running to her. It felt more like home with her there for some reason.
"Hi, Klaus, where's Damon?" Elena asked me.
"With Enzo, somewhere," I replied with a roll of my eyes.
"Huh," Elena walked toward the main building in pursuit of Damon. "I'll see you later."
"I've heard that things have been interesting around here," Katherine informed me with a wide grin. You would never think that she was suffering from a broken heart or that she was with one of her greatest enemies.
"Yes, in the beginning things were pretty horrid but I do believe that things have improved," I replied as Katherine wrapped an arm around my shoulders and we walked toward the building with Caroline and Hayley trailing behind us.
"Now that you are in charge?" Katherine raised an eyebrow with a playful grin on her lips. I pulled the door open and paused to look at Caroline who looked unsure as she looked at Hayley.
"Yes," I replied quickly, not paying attention to Katherine for a moment.
"That's my boy. Being in charge of your life is the great first step toward being a stronger you," Katherine was telling me as we walked up the stairs. "I was telling Hayley just the other night when she came over for some girl time that she really needs to learn to confront those who torment her. You know I would never deal with being bullied. That's just not who I am and I hate to see weakness in others… It's just playing the victim if you ask me."
"Good thing no one did ask you, Kat," Caroline snapped, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"Caroline," Hayley protested.
Katherine turned around to look down at Caroline with a smile, "That's okay, Hayley. Caroline is just learning how to speak her mind. That shouldn't be repressed. Is there anything else you want to say to me, Caroline?"
Before Caroline could open her mouth, Hayley slapped her hand over Caroline's open lips. "You know I think that Caroline is just tired. Let's go see if we can find some hot chocolate so that you get some sleep, Care." Taking Caroline by the hand, Hayley escorted her across the main entrance room.
Clenching my jaw, I found a new reason to dislike the older girl. "I am so glad that they are gone," Katherine sighed heavily before walking up the stairs. I pointed to my room and she swung the door open before walking over to my bed. Flopping down on her back, it took Katherine a moment to notice Marcel staring at her, wide eyed. "Hi there. You're cute. What's your name, kid?"
"Mar… Marcel," Marcel replied with a gulp. His gaze moved to me as if he were questioning whether this was the girl that I had professed to hate. "It's nice to meet you…"
"Katherine," Katherine told him with another wide grin. I wondered why so many guys turned to mush when Katherine smiled like that. I didn't really feel much. Flopping back down, Katherine stared at the ceiling. "Do you have any idea how annoying it is to pretend that you like someone when the only thing that you want to do is open the door to the airplane and throw her out?"
I smiled at Katherine. "You know," Kat continued, propping herself up on her elbows. "I have been trying to pretend to be the friend of that two-faced little tramp for months now watching her play kissy face with my boyfriend." Sitting up straight, Katherine curled her legs up underneath her and stared at me intensely. "And the worst part is that your little girlfriend has been so damned protective of her. Doesn't she understand that Elijah is mine? Hayley had no right to just waltz in here and take him from me. Yes, he asked me if we could spend some time apart… but it was just a little time… and now he's with her."
Katherine did not allow me to respond. "Elena on the other hand has been the best little sister that anyone can dream of. She has done everything I ask of her and the girls at my school are so great. As soon as I won Miss Mystic Falls and became head cheerleader I took control of the high school because with all my free time I had nothing better to do. And the best part is that everyone does whatever I ask of them. If I say trip Marshall on her way down the hall, it happens. If I say write her phone number in the little boy's room, it happens. If I tell someone to…"
As Katherine continued to speak I began to feel like maybe Katherine was going a little too far. She was beginning to sound like Vaughn. Then again, I could not say that I did not wish for Hayley to be punished for causing me to be stuck going to this stupid school. "Hey, guys," Damon called. "Look who I found?" He seemed to be pleased as he strode into the room with Caroline, Elena and Hayley.
"Shouldn't you guys head over to the other part of the building to sleep?" Elena suggested, looking from her sister to Hayley. "I mean I'm sure that they have someplace outside you can sleep."
"Elena," Caroline snarled, baring her teeth and I felt shock course through me. "Why don't you and Katherine go to the other building? I'm sure that you'll find the rooms there more to your liking."
Elena pursed her lips looking a lot like her older sister and then turned toward the door, "I'll see you in the morning, Damon."
"Night, Lena," Damon called with a yawn as Enzo skidded into the room.
"Hello, new girl," Enzo greeted Elena and Katherine. "Can I help you find your way?"
"No," Elena snapped and jerked her sister away from the eager boy.
I yawned, too. Sleep seemed like a good idea. "I'm going to go," Hayley told us, starling me out of my thoughts.
"No, Hayley," Caroline protested. "You can't stay in that room with them."
"I'll find somewhere to sleep. Don't worry about me, Caroline," Hayley replied before pulling the door open. "Behave like a gentleman, Klaus," she called over her shoulder and then she was gone. I was relieved.
"Nik," Caroline whispered as my friends went to bed. "I don't think that we should let her just wander around by herself."
"Why should I care if she gets eaten by a bear?" I snapped. I had had enough of trying to pretend that I did not despise Hayley.
"Why are you so angry at her?" Caroline snapped at me.
"Are you two going to fight all night?" Enzo questioned us with a groan. "I need my sleep."
"Then sleep outside," I snarled at him. Shaking my head, I walked toward the door and swung it open.
"Where are you going?" Caroline called after me.
"Somewhere else," I informed her before heading down the hall.
"Will you listen to me, Nik. Please!" Caroline begged me as she caught up with me and we walked down the stairs. Heading for the front door, I jerked it open and we ended up in the old church. "Why are we here?" Caroline looked unhappily at the church ceiling.
"I feel comfortable here now that Vaughn is gone. I take the old, bad memories and make them into good ones. Besides the other kids think the place is haunted so I can come here and think and no one bothers me," I explained slowly, walking over to a pew and taking a seat.
Caroline came and sat beside me, "Are you sure that we won't be bothered here?"
"Yes," I replied, turning to look at Caroline feeling curious as she pulled out a thermos. "What is that?" I asked her as she spun the cap off the thermos.
Pouring out some of the liquid, Caroline held it out to me. "Its hot chocolate… and a potion…"
"A potion for what?" I questioned Caroline as she sighed.
"Bekah and Bonnie made a potion with Lexi and Anna's help," Caroline began and my eyes narrowed.
"For what reason?" I asked her before she could finish.
"To help you be able to see what I saw," Caroline told me.
"What do you mean?" I asked feeling uncomfortable with where this was going.
Caroline shook her head, "I can't tell you when you're being… you."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I felt hurt with Caroline's accusation cutting into me like a knife.
"I mean that sometimes you refuse to listen to anyone else. So, you need to drink this. It helped me see the truth. Because sometimes seeing is believing. Now, I want you trust me and drink this," Caroline insisted.
Glaring at Caroline because she was right and that was annoying to me, I took the cup and downed the contents. "Just remember that you can control what you don't want to see. If you want to leave a memory press forward. Like on remote control," Caroline was instructing me as I began to slip sideways onto the bench. The last thing I saw was Caroline take a sip from the thermos, "I'll be there with you the whole time."
I felt Caroline's hand slide into mine before the room grew bright again. Only I wasn't in the old church. I was in someone's living room. "Hayley, you going to wear those shorts to school? They're too short," a woman called out and I looked over to see Hayley standing in what I believed was her old room. She was bent over her bag, stuffing her books inside.
"Yes, mom. I'm wearing these to school," Hayley called out. Whirling her head around, she grinned at the woman before walking out and into the hallway.
"Follow her," Caroline called into my ear and I found her standing next to me. Nodding, I pursued Hayley who was age eleven. She strutted toward the door and then paused when a man, who I assumed was her adoptive father, smiling at her.
"Lookin' cute, girl," the man said with a grin and then he lifted a can of beer in Hayley's direction. Hayley nodded with a smile and headed out into the warmth.
"Push farther," Caroline ordered me and I did as she wished. It was odd watching the memories spin past us before I could see them. Although if I were honest I would say I could care less and I would like to know why Caroline wanted me to do this. "Stop," Caroline ordered suddenly.
Stopping suddenly, I found myself in the bathroom with a thirteen year-old Hayley who was brushing her teeth and looking in the mirror. Her clothes for the day were folded and on top of the toilet. She smiled at her reflection and then her smile dropped when someone came up behind her. "Good morning, Hayley," the man with the beer can whispered into her ear and then his hands moved to her chest.
"Leave me alone," Hayley told him. "Please."
"Whatever you say, sweet girl," the man said and left the bathroom. The minute he left, Hayley closed and locked the door. Sliding to the floor, she started to cry. I began to shake my head, staring at the girl.
"Push forward," Caroline whispered hoarsely in my ear. I did as she asked without a thought. "Stop," Caroline moaned. I found myself standing in front of Hayley's shut bedroom door and saw the man slide his hand over the door knob and then ease the door open. I refused to step inside with him because I knew this was a memory and that I couldn't do anything. There was silence and then Hayley screamed and she kept screaming. The adoptive mother came to the door but then turned and walked away.
Caroline did not have to tell me to push forward this time because I did it without thinking. I finally stopped at a memory with fifteen year-old Hayley. She was sitting on her bed and writing to my brother. Her left eye was swollen and her mouth was twisted downward. She was telling Elijah what had happened to her. What was happening to her. And that he couldn't tell anyone. She dared him not to tell anyone. Otherwise she would end up on the streets.
"Look at your brother's letter," Caroline coaxed me and I looked down at the letter that lay open at Hayley's feet. My eyes skimmed the page and stopped at the bit where he detailed our mother's suicide attempt.
"What?" I gasped, staring at the letter. Elijah had written to his pen pal that our mother had tried to end her life with a bottle of pills. If he had not come home early she would not have lived. But why wouldn't he tell anyone else? "They're too young and Katherine would not understand. She is too concerned with popularity at this moment. I do not want to burden her with my problems. I am not sure that I should be burdening you with them," Elijah had written.
To Elijah's letter, Hayley had opened up to him with all of the pain and horror of the last couple of years that she could tell no one about. I wondered what my brother had thought when he had received her letter and the invocation of the dare club. Pushing forward, once more I found myself in my brother's room with Elijah and Hayley on the last night I saw them together.
This time I move into the bathroom to hear the whole conversation. "I can't go back there, Elijah. I can't," Hayley moaned as Elijah whipped whip cream and tears off her face.
"You don't have to," Elijah had promised.
"I don't want to hurt anymore," Hayley whispered, looking up at Elijah.
My brother stroked her hair away from her face. "You don't have to hurt," Elijah whispered to her, pressing his lips to hers. When his hand ran over her back, she shivered. I watched in awe as he lifted her shirt over her head to reveal bruises that her clothes had hidden. When he reached out to unhook her bra she jerked and he waited for her to calm down before trying again.
I knew that I should push forward rather than watch an inmate moment between my brother and this broken girl but I couldn't seem to move. I was in a trance. The worst part was that the longer I stayed the more I began to feel what my brother was feeling. Watching my brother and Hayley I was barely aware of taking Caroline's hand and lacing my fingers through hers. I could feel my body rise and let out a sigh.
Forcing myself to gain control of the situation once more, I yanked myself out of the world made of memories and back into consciousness. Sitting up straight, I stared at Caroline who stared up at me seriously. I had never seen her look that much like a grown up in my life and I wanted to take the memories away. To stop the pain, but I could not. "Do you understand now?" Caroline asked me.
"I think I do," I replied.
"We have to protect her, Nik, we're all she has," Caroline whispered. "She's not a bad person. She had bad things happen to her. And you can't tell," I rolled my eyes but before I could protest Caroline placed a finger to my lips. "I dare you not to tell. This is our secret. Yours, mine, Hayley's and Elijah's."
"I swear, Caroline," I replied. "You think that we should look for her?"
Caroline shook her head and then pointed at one of the pews ahead of us where a head of dark hair was hanging under a jacket. "Do you think that we could stay here tonight?"
"Yes, I think we can," I told Caroline, leaning back and wrapping an arm around her shoulders to take up watch over a girl who was older than either of us but who had been through things that neither of us had. Perhaps Katherine was wrong. Hayley was not "playing" the victim and perhaps one day she would find the strength to stand up for herself. In the meantime, she had Caroline and I to watch over her.
Okay, so that is the end of that chapter and it was extremely difficult to write about this topic because it is extremely sensitive… Too many children have had to deal with real monsters and no one listens to them but they should know that they will never be alone… Their pain is felt by others and it never truly goes away. All any of can do is keep pushing on and hoping that one day not one child will be hurt by the monsters in this world and the world will be a better place…
Answers to review questions:
Guest: Thank you for reviewing. I would ordinarily say that I hope that you enjoyed the new chapter but enjoy is probably not the word that I would use. But it was very important to the story for readers to understand this version of Hayley's experiences that are specific to this version of the character in this story.
Rose: Well, all I can say without giving away too many details about what will happen with Enzo is that we know two things about him from the flashforward in the previous chapter. One: he's dead but that will not happen until the third story and two he had a relationship with Bonnie. So, yes, at some point he will be the recipient of some of the uglier dares of the story. Now, whether or not that is how he dies, I have no idea. And at some point I will write his backstory and we will find out why he tends to give the others reckless dares that result in pain.
In one of the chapters you will find that Rebekah has been "punished" for her misdeeds. Whether the punishment meets the crime, you can be the judge. However, she will return to her former self quickly enough but as she grows up she will change, somewhat.
Mikael is going to become a bit more of a villain in his children's eyes in the last ten chapters and definitely in the sequel. It is interesting to see how Mikael rationalizes his actions. Yes, I would say that he shouldn't want his teen son chasing around the house with a girl but he also did not try to sit Elijah down and ask him what the hell was going on. Not that Elijah would have necessarily told him and if he did then Hayley might have run… Not sure what would have happened.
Tippy093: Hey, I'm also excited about the sequel even though I have like a hundred other stories to catch up on. One thing I can say it that it will be darker as the last eleven chapters of this story are. So, I guess I'm setting the mood here. Great comedy comes from great pain, sometimes.
Ummm… I wasn't referring to Klaus and Caroline. And I really don't want to give away major details to the new story. What I can say is that there is a lot of foreshadowing in the last ten chapters of this story. If you want to send me a pm and tell me as you read what you think could happen I will tell you.
Alexis2106: Hey, so there was no Delena in this chapter but they will pop again because they're rather important to Klaus. I was actually writing about Enzo for some reason. He's just a little out there and that appeals to me. As for Klaroline, I try. Thank you for saying that you'll wait for Kalijah because they have an uphill battle. They're still both really young and trying to form their own identities. Plus, at the beginning of the new story Elijah has so much going on that he does not have time to deal with romance, period.
I know Kol is there somewhere only I can't remember which one. And you should be seeing more of him in the next story for sure.
What the heck are dementors and death eaters? Oh, I feel so old. Seriously, picture me with a shawl and cane. "Is that you, Elijahlover?" auothorress croaks, blinking and narrowing her grandmotherly eyes behind glasses that are so thick that they're about to cause her nose to break. "Oh, I think it's my hundred and thirtieth birthday today. Ha ha ha.
Klaus and Damon are between ten and eleven. They'll be twelve or turning that age in the first ten chapters of the sequel. Yay, pre-teen angst is on its way.
There is a very thin line between love and hate. Sometimes it's invisible.
Peace,
Jessica