A/N: It's a short one – sorry. It just feels like it's the right length, though…. And yes, I'm still alive – university is just kinda like a clingy, needy lover: always demanding my undivided attention. Which isn't such a bad thing – it's interesting work. But, here is another; I'm working on the next one, so it hopefully won't be too long. Reviews are always welcome, and may the Night Mother always welcome you home.

Chapter 29: Live and let Die

So cold, so numb…. Hehehehe! A joke! A joke for the Fool of Hearts, sweet – Cicero stops thinking as the pain shoots and stings and burns through him. Oh, how that dog had clawed and grated and bit…. And now Cicero lies on this cold stone floor…. Alone, again – always alone. Is this what the Void feels like, Unholy Matron, Dread Father? Cicero shivers, shudders. Oh, if only my Listener was here…. But there is no Listener….
Cicero's world goes hazy, fuzzy…. Cold, numb. Why did this Sanctuary have to be so cold? None of the others were this cold…. Were they? I don't remember… don't know. Does Cicero care? He doesn't know; what he does know is the wolf is almost dead, and so is Cicero….

And then there was the Intruder. Oh, how Cicero hoped they would be dissuaded… he had tried his jeering, his taunting, his threats and finally his begging, and then he enticed them further in, hoping, praying to the Night Mother and Sithis that they would be dissuaded, killed…. Especially when they saw the troll. What was his name? Her name? Unde-, Ude– Cicero doesn't seem to know anything anymore.
So numb, so cold… so very cold, and numb, Cicero closes his eyes – so the time has come for the Grand Finale – the Fool of Hearts a twisted, broken thing.

But then she came, and there was something sweet Cicero tasted, something warm that held me close to her. Whoever she is, she is not Mother – Mother wouldn't learn to walk for her Keeper, her Fool of Hearts. But this woman… Cicero feels as if he knows her… Alice? Alicia? Al… "Alysa, Alysa…?" he wonders out loud. Oh, and what a fool Cicero is…. To think that dawn might come again, just once more, just… once….

Just… once more… to see her, whoever she is….

The time for mourning and feeling was over – and a voice in the back of my mind reminded me why I had long ago discarded emotions for others. I hugged the pillow closer for a brief moment, then let it go, pushing myself out of bed and whatever emotions I might have still had deep down and buried them in darkness. There was a contract to finish – an Emperor of Tamriel to kill. I freshened up, and headed for the training area as quickly as I could. Something was bubbling up just beneath the surface, a feeling I couldn't place and I certainly wasn't going to wait for it to pass – it was one that dictated: move, hunt, kill, fight.

Without thinking I fell into the routine Cicero had shown me, going faster and harder at all the training dummies and imaginary foes. I snarled, slashed, stabbed, kicked. I ducked under imagined swords, rolled upright to backstab and cut the throats of imaginary Oculatus agents. I was gasping for air, still snarling when Aventus blocked one of my attacks.

Sparring partner; fine, I snarled, and ran at the young Imperial, ducking at the last moment and smirking with satisfaction when he stumbled. He was quick to steady himself, and we clashed. Between the breathless insults we threw mostly out of habit, and the wild swings Aventus gave, and the constant ducking and whirling I ended up doing to attack him, he was sweating as much as I, and when we took a moment to part from out dance, I felt myself shaking slightly. I shook my head at Aventus. "Enough, enough." I waved at the training area in general. "Go on – I'm done." I walked out, wiping my forehead. It had been a long time since I had pushed myself so far – so hard. But my mind felt clearer, more able to deal with the immediate task of assassinating an almost untouchable Emperor whose personal bodyguards hated my Family. I bathed quickly, donning the Brotherhood's robes and shouldered Seri out of the way when I passed through the sleeping quarters for a breakfast that was neither typical of Festus or Nazir.

I eyed it suspiciously, ladling it into a bowl and sniffed it. It didn't smell quite as strange as I thought it would. A soft 'humph' behind me made me turn, and scowl slightly. Festus was leaning over a collection of books, scrolls and letters, a half-smile barely visible on his face as he scrutinized me. "He used to do the same thing whenever I cooked, you know," the old wizard said softly, then scowled darkly and turned back to the book he was reading. I pretended to ignore the statement, knowing full well who 'he' was, and tasted the stew. I was surprised by the exotic taste. "This is a rich man's food," I complained, sitting down at the table across from Festus, breaking off a piece of bread from a nearby loaf to soak in the stew. I had no idea what was in it, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
He snorted, and glared up at me. "It's a recipe from the Gourmet, probably the very best chef there ever was and will be."
I blinked at Festus as he poured over the book again. "Do you know who's handling the next part of the Emperor contract?" I asked after a pause.
"I am."
"Oh." I glared at Seri out of the corner of my eye, and I could have sworn she did the same thing. Gourmet… chef…. "The next contract has something to do with this chef, right?" I knew I was irritating Festus with my pauses and questions, but he would simply have to deal with it. "Well, how long did that take you, Listener?" he scoffed, eliciting a bout of wracking coughs. I raised my brows at him when he briefly met my gaze, and his hard stare was enough to tell me to leave it be. It wasn't my concern, anyway. "This contract has two parts, actually. The first concerns finding the Gourmet, since no-one knows who he is, or where he's staying – only that he is on Skyrim. Assuming the Gourmet is a man, of course…" Festus said. He pulled a cook book closer, opening the cover and tapping the first page. It was signed by the Gourmet to one Anton Virane. "So Virane knows the Gourmet's identity, and the Gourmet is in Skyrim, I assume?" I tapped the dedication.
"Yes, that seems to be the case. The Gourmet was brought up by the Empire when our dear Emperor was supposed to pay a visit – since he hasn't, the Empire has kept him comfortable somewhere in Skyrim should the Emperor change his mind," Festus nodded curtly. "You'll find this Virane fool in Markarth, in the kitchens of Understone Keep. Mind yourself there – I've heard that a certain Justiciar is rather fond of taking Nords prisoner on a whim." Festus huffed again, scowling even more darkly.
"He'll have to mind himself when I'm there, or he'll find his luck will turn. The second part of this contract is to go to wherever the Gourmet is, and kill him," I finished, leaning back and placing the spoon in the empty bowl, licking my fingers where some of the stew and bread still clung. "Not so fast – you'll need to hide his body, and hide it well because you need to become the Gourmet to kill Titus."
I paused, looking up from my nails at Festus. "He's in Skyrim?"
"Not yet – but on his way. Where exactly is a bit of a challenge. You're on a time limit here, and it's especially important you hide the body," Festus stressed.
"Yes, yes! Hide the body, be the Gourmet, of course!" I scowled, snatching up my bowl and washing it with a little more vigor than necessary. I felt my cold rage take over when Seri sat with that stupid smirk on her face. "Yes, smirk, little rich brat – your plan worked, and now your false little world is perfect, isn't it?" I sneered at her, pleased with the way she paled, and her pretty green eyes widened. I stalked out, the only thing that stopped me from killing her the Five Tenets, and ignored Nazir's exaggerated look of interest. Uvelaes dipped his head when I passed him, and Aventus gave a strange wave.

It was time to ride out, find the Gourmet. I didn't need anyone, not a single soul. Everyone had either left, or pushed me away, or died. How could I have been such a fool to let him in? Am I no better than another Fool of Hearts?

Or am I just a Fool of Broken Hopes?