The only journey is the one within. - Skalkisham of Umbar

Chapter 10

April 65 Fourth Age, Edoras

The light of day had waned and the evening was late when Grandmother finally fell silent. She had spoken almost without a stop, though sometimes Elsunn had interrupted her to ask some questions or elaborations on this or that matter. She had hardly noticed the passage of time as they had wandered those paths of days gone by.

Grandmother sat quiet. The daylight had smoothed her features and given shine to her hair; now in the light of candles she looked ancient, for the lines age had carved on her face seemed more pronounced, and each line was heavy with memories. Elsunn leant forward excitedly, waiting for the old Queen to continue. She half expected to hear that the young version of this old woman before her had jumped in the saddle and rode after Grandfather, even though she knew how it had turned out in truth.

"What happened next? Did you agree to marry him then? What did you do?" she asked; her questions made Grandmother smile slightly.

"Sweetheart, it is already very late. I think perhaps we might finish for the day and continue the tale tomorrow", she said softly. But Elsunn was not ready to let go yet, not now when they had got to this part of the story.

"Please, Grandmother! At least tell me again how you answered his proposal", she pleaded and gave the old woman one of her most appealing looks.

A fond little smile appeared on that old face, and after one more moment of silence, Grandmother answered.

"I didn't ride after him that day, though I would very much have liked to do so. Instead, I stayed in Dol Amroth, trying to decide how I should proceed", she started. She considered this quietly for a bit, and then continued: "Let us not go to that quite so quickly. I have not told you all the things that happened between us during our courtship. I had given him permission to woo me... and that he certainly did! In Minas Tirith, he sang serenades under my window one night – and to this day, I do not know how he was able to sneak into our garden. In Edoras we went hunting, and I showed him my archery. Sometimes we sparred, though I was never able to surprise him again the way I did that first time... he was, after all, a master swordsman. We would go riding together, and stargazing, and during his visit to Dol Amroth I was even able to persuade him to come fishing with me. It was the happiest time of my life since then. Much of that happiness was because for the first time someone who wasn't my family took note of me in a way that wasn't disapproving or scandalised. No matter what mad antics I committed, your grandfather was never disconcerted by it."

Then a dark expression came to her face and when she spoke, there was heaviness in her voice.

"I sometimes wonder how things would have turned out had I agreed sooner. When all was said and done he told me I shouldn't dwell on what could have been, but I couldn't help it. Perhaps our lives would have taken us to a very different place if I had... if I had been there..."

She shook her head and fell silent, and Elsunn could tell Grandmother was remembering things no one else knew – well, no one who was alive, at least.

"Why didn't you tell him yes sooner, then?" asked the young princess. Now Grandmother smiled faintly.

"Because I wanted to make sure if it would be the right choice. I had to be certain he really loved me... and that I loved him. I was insecure back then, my dear. It may surprise you, but in that time I was very young and inexperienced, though I liked to pretend otherwise. Nevertheless, my idea was to test him and myself, and see if it were a passing fancy... or if my heart would remain unmoved", she explained gently. It was indeed surprising to hear that, because Elsunn couldn't really imagine her Grandmother anything else than the brave, strong woman she had been as long as the princess had lived. But then, her tale so far had already proven she had needed to walk a long road to become the one who in songs was called Lioness.

"What made you change your mind in the end?" Elsunn asked.

"I suppose you could say that time had done its work with me. Truth be told, I had been falling in love with him ever since we had first met in the woods of Ithilien... I was very stubborn, you see. I needed my time of judging him and my own heart. Be it as may, one day after Yuletide I got it in my head that I'd go to Edoras and see the King of Rohan. Luckily it happened that Father and Elphir were in Minas Tirith, and Erchirion had been left in charge of ruling Dol Amroth, so he was too busy to pay attention... and Amrothos was, as ever, eager to aid me in my mischief. Even our aunt suspected nothing", said Grandmother. Her smile was now something of a grin; the memory was obviously a very fond one.

"So we set out from Dol Amroth together, telling everyone we were going for Minas Tirith when we actually rode north and passed through Dimholt Road to Rohan. It has been much mended and changed since that time, and though I knew the darkness was gone from the mountain, it was still one of the most terrifying experiences of my life... but the thought of my king pushed me forward, and Amrothos at that point knew he had no choice but to follow."

"At last we came to Edoras, and it happened that we arrived when the King was executing his justice and listening to the pleas of his people. In those days, when he gave his audiences, the doors of Meduseld were open to all, though his men always kept guard and ensured the order. That day the Golden Hall was full of people and my dear horselord did not notice myself or my brother, and we were left to observe him in this setting we had not seen before. The man I saw sitting on the throne was so different to the one I had grown to know – he truly was king – and I almost lost my nerve then. But then as I looked upon your grandfather I also understood how much I had missed him", she said, her voice falling softer.

At this point Elsunn was grinning, because she knew the tale her Grandmother was telling. It was one of her favourites, as she had not heard anyone had ever before done something like it... though many a lady certainly did after the story spread.

Grandmother smiled then, half to herself, deep in her memories. But soon she continued again.

"It has to be said this tale has grown much larger ever since then, and some people believe it was something I had long planned. But the truth is I never thought beforehand that I'd behave so... hmm, scandalously, as it was remarked in the Gondorian society when the news spread. I acted spontaneously and purely on an impulse, simply because I was on the front of Éomer, and he had a way of making me do strange things just by being present. And so, thinking of how much I had missed him, I stepped forward and asked for his hand in marriage."

"It was one of the strangest moments of my life, standing there in a complete silence as Eorlingas present stared at me and wondered if I was touched in the head. I suppose very few even recognised me. Éomer too sat in silence and astonishment, until he suddenly stepped down from his throne, and came to me. Then he picked up my hand and there on the front of his people and household he answered yes."

Elsunn couldn't hold back her giggling. She could picture it so well: Grandmother stepping from the crowd and proposing to Grandfather there on the front of what had to be the entire population of Edoras... only she could do something like that. Even among the ordinary people it was agreed that the man should be the one to make the official proposal or marriage, and to royalty that applied even more. No one just walked to a king and asked to marry him. But Grandmother had, gleefully turning everything upside down as she did so. Of course he had already proposed to her before and the courtship had been common knowledge, but to answer it in such a way? To Gondorians it was scandalous of course... but like Grandmother said now: "It may have come as a surprise to Eorlingas... but if I should point at one moment when I felt they accepted me as one of them, it was that instance. Our people do appreciate boldness, after all. And I'm not sure your Grandfather ever really stopped laughing because of it."

"But you weren't married at that time. Why did that take so long in the end?" asked Elsunn.

"Had it depended on just us two, we probably would have got married that very day. However, Amrothos and Éothain had enough sense at least to prevent us from doing just that, and when your great-grandfather heard of it, he insisted on a betrothal time of a year. Wedding contracts had to be negotiated, the feasts in the honour of our marriage planned, and my becoming the Queen of Rohan required a lot of preparing. In part I believe it was because it was difficult for Father to let me go... I was his only daughter, after all. And perhaps he too wanted to make sure it was what I really wanted", Grandmother said and sighed. She shook her head, "Then war came, and Aragorn needed your Grandfather, and the wedding had to be postponed."

The young princess leant forward on her seat. Eyes glowing, she watched the old woman with unblinking eyes. She knew where the story was now headed.

"And then?" she asked excitedly.

A tired little smile came to Grandmother's face. She wrapped her shawl tighter around her shoulders.

"What happened next is not a story I would tell you in the middle of night. It is late already, and you should be in bed", she said gently. "We will continue tomorrow."

Elsunn had to agree Grandmother was right. It really was very late, and to be honest she felt tired too. And this was a tale she didn't want to sleep through. So she got up and walked over to the old woman.

"Thank you for telling me this story. I look forward to more", she said softly as she leant down to kiss Grandmother's forehead.

"Of course", she answered and looked up to Elsunn; her grey eyes, which the young princess had inherited, were shadowed and sad. "Good night, my dear."

In Meduseld quiet reigned. Elsunn had gone to bed already, but Lothíriel Queen was still awake.

Silent she stood by the wooden stand and rested a hand on the bow Legolas had given her. The betrothal had been formally announced in Minas Tirith, not long after the little adventure her and Amrothos' little adventure in Rohan... and after the feast Aragorn had organised to honour his friend and the future queen, Legolas had approached her and given her the bow. As far as Lothíriel had been able to tell, he had been working on it ever since he had first come to talk sense to her on the day she had finally revealed her identity to Éomer. She remembered the endless depth of the Elf's eyes as though he had somehow known what lay ahead...

She had been grateful for the gift, as even then she had known she would not possess another weapon as fine. But that didn't even begin to comprehend how grateful she had been afterwards, when... no. That was a story for the daylight.

Touching the bow, she felt like she could reach over to those years – a life-time ago now, it seemed. And yet telling this tale had brought back the days of her youth, as though it all had happened only yesterday.

She sighed and bowed her head, and she missed him so much, like she had every day since he had passed away. Somehow in her mind, when she had imagined death, she had always thought they would face it together... just like they had faced so many things before. But he had gone before her, he had left her here... and she felt crippled without him by her side. With him a part of her had died.

Lothíriel lifted up her face and looked ahead, out to the silver-painted plains of Rohan. Perhaps it made sense she was the one to linger behind. After all, her storm had never been as dark or devastating as his.

And perhaps there was still something to pass on to their children, before her time would come. Yes, they should know – their children should not forget this story.

Slowly, feeling the weariness deep in her old bones, Lothíriel Queen of Rohan, Lioness of the Mark, made way to her bed. There she settled and blew out the candle. Hopefully, the dreams would bring him back to her... if only for the night.

Elsunn woke up around sunrise. As soon as her mind cleared of sleep she thought of yesterday and the story Grandmother had started to tell her. Smiling to herself, she went through all the things she had been told, and the wonderful and insane courtship between Éomer Eadig and Princess Lothíriel. No wonder people still spoke of it this day.

Bursting with energy, she got up and threw on a gown; maybe Grandmother would want to start with the story straight after the breakfast. As soon as she had washed her face and made sure her hair – inherited from her maternal side – wasn't looking horrible, she hurried off to the great hall.

She was among the first to arrive, but soon the hall began to fill as members of the household came to break their fast. Father occupied the place in the centre of the dais, and Grandmother was on his right side; it had been her place when Grandfather had lived, and Father had never even thought of making her relinquish it. From her childhood and adolescence, Elsunn could remember the time when Éomer King had possessed that centre spot. He had been ancient of course, but until his death he had never lost his wits or his insistence to take part in the daily comings and goings of the household – well, not until that final illness at least.

But when she dashed to see Grandmother after breakfast and took the hand of the old woman, Elsunn was served with something of a disappointment.

"I'm sorry, my dear, but I have to attend to some things before we continue. Would you perhaps mind waiting until lunchtime?" asked Grandmother. To be honest, Elsunn did rather mind, but Lioness of Rohan wasn't just someone you told so, and so she relented and promised to wait.

The morning did seem longer than a century to say the very least, and Elsunn wandered about restless. When tables had been cleared and people had gone their way, she lingered in the Great Hall for a bit. She looked around, and she regarded the throne: how had Grandfather looked like when he had been young and he had sat there for the very first time? Moreover, how had he felt like when Grandmother had appeared from the crowd and asked for his hand in marriage? They said he had been a young and a golden king... and suddenly, Elsunn wished she could have seen that time.

But had that time been before or after?

It was after lunch, when she was playing with her twin nephews, that a servant came to her and said that her grandmother wanted to see her. After kissing the brows of the two little princes and promising they'd continue the warlike game later, Elsunn hurried to the chambers that belonged to the wife of the now dead king, and there she found Lothíriel Queen sitting by the window: the same place they had occupied yesterday. Upon Elsunn's entering the old woman smiled and gestured towards the other seat.

"I believe it is time to continue, my dear", she said softly. The young princess needed no other request to fly to the chair and settle down.

"Where did we end again last night? Oh yes, it was with my proposal. Now I remember", said Grandmother. A small smile came to her face and she seemed to be remembering a lot more than just the proposal (or agreement, however one wanted to see it).

"What happened then?" asked Elsunn.

"You can probably guess the excitement my proposal did cause... and I've already spoken of the reasons why our marriage was postponed. Your grandfather was thrilled nevertheless... it was one of the rare occasions I saw him be so excited. You see, our marriage was to take place in March of the year 3021, which was also the last year of the Third Age. However, things did not go quite so smoothly."

This was it. This was what Elsunn had been expecting: the start of the great adventure. She leant forward on her seat and watched her grandmother with wide eyes. But the old woman seemed tired and sad. The young princess realised she was about to return to some painful or at least heavy memories.

Grandmother lifted her eyes and looked at Elsunn. There in her grey eyes was a sharp look.

"You know what took place then – at least the basics of it. But now I'm about to tell you what really happened to your grandfather... and what I did as a response. For the truth is at that point I had decided that he was mine, and this determination would shape all our destinies in what happened next."

End of Part 1

A/N: I bring you this update, and hope you like it, my dear readers! I know it's kinda short when compared to other chapters (the next one will probably be as well), but it's kind of an interlude I suppose, and I'm probably going to upload the next chapter tomorrow or the day after.

Originally I meant to make this cut in the chapter 8 already, and move on to the next section. However, I felt that little more had to be said before I could finish Part 1. I did also consider writing the actual proposal/agreement scene, of which Lothíriel and Elsunn speak of in this chapter, and then the betrothal feast. However, trying to plan out that chapter just didn't feel right - I felt I had already used up my ideas for this section of the story. It's not a decision I made easily, though; it seems to me that people would perhaps rather like to see a scene so delicious fo themselves. But writing-wise, to me it seemed more natural and somehow more "right" to go this way, and let the old Lothíriel tell the tale in her own words. I hope that my instinct has not gone wrong here.

In retrospect I feel this section of the story is not my best or most original writing (though there are some bits I personally like very much), but hopefully I will be able to fix that in the Part 2.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Quote in the beginning originally by Rainer Maria Rilke.

Frodofan – Why isn't it believable? I would like a bit more elaboration, because it's really frustrating to hear something's wrong with my writing but not being able to see what precisely about it needs mending.

Talia119 - I like writing with that structure as well, but I have to be careful lest I overuse that technique.

Well, like I said before: stubborn people are stubborn in good and bad! And like the older version of her recognises here, it's also in large part because of being insecure. But when she does make up her mind, it's with a bang!

As for their sparring session, I wouldn't really say she got the best of him. I was trying to portray it as a draw. And anyway the setting is wholly different to a serious fight. I mean, if Éomer wasn't holding back Lothíriel would stand no chance against him; but he does hold back and anyway it's not one of his men or an enemy he's fighting, but a woman he loves and wants to marry. So I'd think he's not really using the full scale of his strength and skills. It's a playful battle in the end. If he was in full armour and fighting to kill, there would be no question of the winner. That the fight ended in a draw was less about Lothíriel getting to surprise a master swordsman and more about building Éomer's trust in her ability to take care of herself.

Kiiimberly - Oh yes, I thought so as well! Fits the two of them much better.

Le Pleiade - He probably does, what with the way Rohirrim are considered to be more easygoing. I think at this point most people are too tired of conflicts anyway and just want happiness, for themselves and their king. And yes! She wouldn't be Lothíriel without that temper. :)

Wondereye - Well, she pretty much did announce that to entire Rohan! :D

Edhla - Thanks for your review! I truly agree about Éomer/Lothíriel fics. I must confess that these two are so tightly woven together in my head that I can't even read fics where he marries someone else. Silly, I know, but I can't help it.

As far as my A/N in the beginning goes, I personally feel there's not really a better place for it than the beginning of the story. I think it provides important information on the story itself and helps to understand the contexts. It's long, yes, but in my opinion moving it to the end would confuse the structure, and to remove it to my profile could mean that people never even take a look at it. In regular chapters I keep A/Ns in the end, but the beginning of the story is in my view a different place.

Big thanks for your language comments! I'm not a native speaker so my English is not flawless, and I appreciate it when my mistakes are pointed out to me. As far as my punctuation goes, it took me a while to even notice that, and I understand your example is the American punctuation rule. However, I'm under the impression that in British English (which I try to use, though I sometimes lapse into American English too) the comma can go either side. This how I've originally learned punctuation, and if I switched between two systems I fear it would completely ruin my sense of punctuation. I've rationalised this usage of comma by deciding to stick to what I've learned: better to use one system consistently than randomly switch between two! I hope at least this doesn't bother you too much.