It's funny how hearing something you really never have rocks your world. I knew people had loved me over the years, people who don't love you don't throw themselves in front of bullets and demons, rebel against Heaven to save your ass a few times or take you in when you have nowhere else to go after your brother jumps into Lucifer's cage. Hearing it from her was different, maybe because it had taken so long for her to say it or for me to be ready to hear it. I won't say that the guilt and crap I've carried for years fell away and disappeared, because it didn't. It was just a lot less important. The only thing that mattered was her and the potential for an us somewhere in the future. I've kissed a lot of women in my life, none of those kisses felt like this one did. I didn't want it to end, didn't want to take it anywhere else, go any further. We didn't need to, the physical stuff we'd already done plenty of times, this was all new.

Unfortunately, at some point you have to breathe. The kiss stopped but our lips were still touching, just enough to send sparks down my spine.

She let out this really low, breathy chuckle. "Well, that was different."

"I kind of like different." I went in for another one, which was just as good as the first one but the rest of my body was catching up to my emotions, which I really didn't want so I broke it off. That threw her off.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

She got this quizzical look on her face and laid the back of her hand against my forehead, "You must be coming down with something."

"Smart ass. I'm fine." I kicked off my shoes, pulled off my shirt, laid back down, got my arm under her, pulled her as close as I could and gave her another kiss. "Get some rest, you still look wiped out."

"I'm not that wiped out," She took a good long look at me and I saw her get it, "Course, you've had a long day too haven't you."

"You know, you can't really build up a tolerance to having your soul or spirit pulled out of you and shoved back in. It's not like cardio, it doesn't get easier the more you do it."

"Huh, that never came up in the lore books I read."

I laughed. "So we're taking a shot at this then?"

She nestled up against me and closed her eyes. "I told you I love you. What do you think?"

"I think you're going to have to keep me in check when I run across the people who have issues with us."

"Us? It really is a day of firsts for you isn't it?"

"Yeah, trying to get them all out the way quick. Sort of like jumping into a cold lake."

Her hand went to that spot that she's the only one to have ever found and the idea of cold left my brain pretty fast. "Once you get used to it though, that's when the fun starts."

"I'll remember that. I have a place now. How do you want to do this? Your place or mine?"

"I have to go back home. I've already been on the road for a few weeks. You decide." I felt a kiss on my ribs, then she moved her hand and relaxed. It didn't take all that long for her to go sleep and I drifted off to the sound of her breathing.

I woke up a few hours later, she'd rolled away from me but was still asleep. I grabbed my phone and texted Sam, "You up? Need to talk. There, I said it. Happy?"

It took a minute or two but he texted back, "Coyote? Why are you on Dean's phone?"

"Shut up jerk."

"Bitch. Get over here."

I wrote a note telling her where I was and why, got dressed and headed upstairs. He had the door open before I even got there. "Hey."

"Hey, Roy pass out?"

"Yeah. I got some sleep too. Coyote?"

"Sleeping." I grabbed a beer from the fridge, sat down and handed him Baby's keys. "I'm not going back to the Bunker, at least not right now so you'll need a way home."

He just stared, then a huge grin broke out on his face, "See, told you. You said it, now you're moving in together. Where are you going to register for gifts?"

"Back up there Bueller, this doesn't mean you can throw wild parties and trash the place."

"Aww, but Dad!"

"Stop, just stop. I am not that old."

"Says you." He stopped grinning like a teenager, "Sorry. So things went well then?"

"Yeah." Now that I was thinking past the next few hours I started wondering what the hell I was doing. I don't know crap about her people really, what her life consisted of now or if we'd make it past a week before we got sick of each other. "She said it back Sam, told me that even though we'd changed and it'd been years whatever has been between us is still there. What if I screw this up? I've never really done this before."

"You lived with Lisa."

"Yeah but this is different."

"I know."

"What do I do?" Sam at least had had two somewhat normal relationships, before I yanked him away from them anyway. "Let's face it, I'm not exactly Mr. White Picket Fence and Two point Five kids."

"And she lives in a round house, has an engineering degree, is a hunter and a Shaman. I don't think she cares about normal, do you?"

"No, but.."

"Dean listen. Here's what you do, be yourself and take it one day at a time."

"Be myself? Sort of been doing that, hasn't turned out that great."

"Yes, be yourself. Be the guy that stood there while Lucifer beat the crap out of him so his brother wouldn't be alone, be the guy who's saved kids from vengeful spirits, be the guy that refused to let his brother be soul less or die. Be the guy who raised his kid brother and kept him safe. Be the guy that she's kept coming back to for years. Be that guy and you'll be fine. Be the guy that Azazel tried to ruin but managed to pull through anyway. Don't be the guilt that he gave you. You've been that for too long already." He raised his beer, "Just go for it. Don't worry about me or the monsters. We took a month off and the world kept going. You need this. Do it."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Now grab your crap and get back over there."

I got up, he followed suit and this time I bear hugged him. He was doing for me what I'd never done for him, pushing me to go for another life, try something different. It slowly started sinking in that I wouldn't have to wake up tomorrow and go kill something else, that the fate of the world wasn't on me and that everything wasn't my fault. I felt a million pounds lighter and I actually wanted to see what was out there for me, for Coyote and I. I let him go and started packing my stuff up, he sat back down and opened his laptop.

"Hey, before you go, want to show you something. Not a job, promise." He turned the laptop around, on the screen were the most hideous, minimalist, modern art shaped things I'd ever seen. It said they were chairs but I had no idea how anyone would sit on them. "I was thinking these would look good in the Bunker. What do you think?" He kept his face dead serious.

I dropped my bags. "Sam if you ever, and I mean ever, put shit like that in the Bunker I will summon every ghost of every Men of Letters that existed and send them after you. Then when they're done I'll kick the crap out of you, repeatedly. How dare you!"

He tried to keep a straight face and pulled it off for thirty seconds or so before he busted out laughing. "Dude, I don't think I could even fit into those things."

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I picked my bags back up and he walked me to the door.

He put his hand on my shoulder before I stepped out, "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, want to say bye to Roy. Make sure he's all right. Night."

"Night."

I snuck back in the room, or thought I had. She was still sleeping but was under the blankets now. I changed into some sweats, pulled the sheets back and realized she was wearing a lot less than when I'd left, a whole lot less.

"Sam's caught up?" She asked.

"Yeah, gave him the keys for Baby so he can get home. Figured I'd hitch a ride with you."

"Good, so no reason for us to get up early then is there." She got her hands around my neck, pulled me down hard, threw a leg across my side and knocked me sideways onto the bed.

"Nope. Guess you're feeling better."

My sweats were off in half a second, not quite sure how she managed it from the position she was in but I had other things on my mind, like her lips roving across my chest. "Yeah, I am and I've waited way too long for this."

Another reason I love her, because like me, subtlety was never her strong suit. She sees something she wants, she takes it.

...

About two weeks later I got a text at two in the morning. Coyote was in bed next to me and woke up when the alert went off. "That can't be good. Who is it?'

It'd been some of the best times of my life, Cougar had flown home from Colorado, Sam followed Roy and went back to Starling. Coyote and I had taken our time getting back to her place. We stopped by Stella and Ralph's place and loaded up on pie and food, they'd even remembered me even though it'd been a few years. I got a few nasty looks from some of the people on the Reservation at first but when I started making myself useful around the place they faded. Coyote had been using the money she made from her engineering gigs to help remodel and build houses, plant gardens and in general spruce the place up. I know my way around a construction site so pitched in where I could. Things were going a lot smoother than I'd expected they would. Sam and I texted every few days, he had extended his vacation too and decided to help Oliver out for a change of pace. It made me feel a lot better knowing he wasn't hunting alone.

"It's Roy, what the? Oh no."

"Something wrong?"

It was a shot of Roy with a huge ass grin on his face holding a handful of worms right above one of Oliver's Arrow suit boots. Someone was taking the pic because Roy's other hand was giving me a thumbs up.

"Dude, hope you have new tires already." I sent back.

"I feel like there's a story here," she said. I told her about Oliver's undying hatred of worms and she busted out laughing.

Another text came through, it was a video this time. I pushed play. They were in the club, the camera looked like it was stashed low to the ground because I saw Felicity's feet and Oliver's as he walked up, took his suit off the mannequin and grabbed his bow.

"I tracked the robbers to the Glades." Felicity said.

"On it. Roy? Suit up."

"Sure."

Then Oliver's feet faded into the background and I heard Roy and Felicity both chuckle.

"What the fuck?" Oliver came back into frame, holding his shoe and enraged. Felicity cracked up along with Roy and the vid stopped. I just about dropped the phone I was laughing so hard.

"Breathe Dean, breathe."

"Oh God, I can't. That's was awesome." I managed to get my phone back in my hands and texted. "Great job! Proud of you. Now run."

"Way ahead of you." He sent back. Then another picture came through, it was from Oliver. There was a rather large mass of decimated worms with one of his exploding arrows in the center and the words, "You told him, didn't you."

"Who me?" I replied.

"The Impala is here you know."

"You said if I put worms in your shoes or anywhere in the club, not Roy. Therefore Baby and I are exempt from your threat. Nice try though."

The next picture was a selfie of Oliver, pissed off, stony faced and flipping me off. "I hate you."

"You're welcome. Have fun cleaning up that mess."

Coyote cracked up, I barely managed to get the phone back on the dresser before another fit of laughter hit me. "He's so damn serious, it's just too easy."

We finally stopped laughing, she propped herself up on an arm and looked at me. "You know in all the years I've known you, you've never been this relaxed, this happy."

"I never had a reason to be."

I kissed her and we settled back into bed. I hadn't had a nightmare in a week, I wasn't paranoid and had barely had anything to drink. I'd managed to finally make a different choice and it felt damn good.

-End