Here in ch 17 of By My Side we have Part 9 of what I've now entitled The Flying Haggis: FitzSimmons' Adventures in the Campervan of Awesome. If you're baffled (and why shouldn't you be?) The Flying Haggis is a continuous story which starts in ch9 of By My Side after a bunch of unrelated FitzSimmons one-shots.

When they finally found Skye in the lounge, she could not keep the smirk off her face. "Nice night, you two?"

"Shut up, Skye," they rejoined in jovial unison.

"Ok, Fitz, you and I are off to Coulson's office. Simmons, Mack needs you in the garage to talk about beds or something."

Fitz suddenly found the ground extremely interesting and Jemma had to hold back a smile. "Beds? Ok, whatever," she said nonchalantly and strode off to the staircase.

"Oh, one more thing," she turned on her heel.

"What's that?" Skye asked.

"I think we should give Fitz naming rights for the campervan."

Fitz beamed at her while Skye looked mortified. "Really?" they asked in unison, in tones that matched their faces.

"You're about to hear what he's modified the dwarves to do – it's amazing," Jemma explained, and Fitz went a little bit red round the ears. "No one deserves to name this campervan more than him."

"So, lover boy," Skye began once Simmons was out of earshot. "You must have had the best night of your pasty life last night, hey?"

Fitz managed to stay cool. "Chinese food, beer, Sherlock, Simmons – what's not to love?" he replied laconically.

"Hmph," Skye laughed. "Very suavely, played, Fitzy Boy."

"Fitzy Boy?" he repeated, eyebrows high.

"Ok. So, not the most biting moniker ever bestowed," she acknowledged.

"Not remotely."

Coulson hung up the phone as the two of them entered.

"Where's Simmons?" he inquired as the two of them sat down.

"Talking beds with Mack," Skye explained.

Coulson briefly raised his eyebrows and then ploughed on, thinking it better not to know.

"Ok, Fitz, can you give me a progress report on the camper plans?"

ooo

Downstairs, Jemma was secretly enjoying Mack's somewhat obsequious manner. He was at pains to make up for what he'd said to Fitz, even though as far as he knew, Jemma has no idea what had transpired.

"So, Fitz said he thought you might have some ideas about how we should modify the sleeping arrangements."

"Modify?" she asked. "What's wrong with the way they are?"

"Well, once we fit Skye's isolation chamber into the camper here," he pointed, "The remaining bed is just this one double mattress on a frame that pulls down from the wall like this," he explained apologetically as he demonstrated.

Jemma clambered onto the lowered bed, bouncing slightly to test the mattress. She shrugged. "That sounds ok to me."

Mack looked confused. "It does?"

"Sure."

"No, I don't think you understand," he went on as she stretched herself out across the bed. "That means that you and Fitz would have to, ahem, share this bed every night."

"Did Coulson say no to that?"

Mack's eyes grew wider. "Well, he didn't say no. Fitz and I just kind of thought that you might not like the idea."

"I guess we might get on one another's nerves," she allowed.

"It's kind of close proximity though, isn't it?" he half-heartedly argued what he imagined to be her rightful perspective. "Every night in the same bed? Mostly alone together for a month?"

"Oh, Mack," Jemma laughed, propping herself up on one elbow. "You don't think I'd be worried about Fitz trying anything untoward, do you?"

Mack shook his head emphatically. "No Ma'am. I know for certain that you can absolutely trust my boy, Fitz. He would have to be one of the last remaining true gentlemen."

"Precisely," Jemma agreed. "So, the two of us sharing a bed will be fine."

Mack looked concerned.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Well, it's just that, umm…" He hesitated, unsure of exactly how to proceed.

"Go on, Mack," she encouraged. "We're both adults."

"It's just that, say Fitz were to find your sleeping quarters a bit too…"

"Too constricted?" she offered, stretching both her arms out as if to test the width of the mattress.

"No, I was going for something a little more along the lines of, umm… oh, never mind."

"Mmm?" she raised an eyebrow, secretly revelling in the pain she was inflicting on Mack.

"Well," Mack stammered. "I-it might make it a bit difficult for him to get much in the way of rest."

Jemma narrowed her eyes, taking her revenge on Mack for his attempt at misguiding Fitz earlier in the day. "Has Fitz given you any indication that the two of us sharing a bed would be problematic for him?"

Mack looked genuinely perturbed. "I just think you might want to discuss it with him before we charge ahead."

"Oh, alright," she said airily. "Only if you think it'll be really necessary." And she swung her legs off the bed and sat up, smiling sweetly, and then got up and swanned out of the room leaving poor Mack practically dying of awkwardness over his work bench.

ooo

Jemma sidled into Coulson's office to join the others with the slightest hint of an evil grin on her face.

They were each holding a mug of something and talking earnestly about the upcoming mission.

"What was the bed thing all about?" Skye asked as soon as she sat down.

Jemma shook her head. "Oh, Mack has this crazy notion that he should go out of his way and rig up some special bedding arrangement for us rather than just leave us to share the perfectly good double bed that's already installed."

Fitz coughed, spluttered and then spat his tea all over Coulson's desk.

Skye barely managed to disguise her glee.

Jemma patted him condescendingly on the leg. "We can have a little chat about it later."

"Right," Coulson continued, mopping at his desk and flicking his glance from one young face to the next. "Now, Skye, Fitzsimmons are going to have your back out there, alright?"

She nodded, trying to keep a straight face.

"And I'm going to do my best to come out and see you at least once. May wants to try and make it too." He shifted his attention back to Simmons. "Why don't you explain to Skye what you were discussing with me earlier about her isolation chamber."

"Of course, sir," Jemma nodded curtly, firing up her tablet and holding it so that Skye could see. "Our plan is to install your chamber in this section of the camper," she pointed to the diagram that had flashed up onto the screen. "Fitz, do you want to explain how it works?"

"It's a little tricky to distill into layman's terms," mused Fitz, who seemed to have quickly composed himself after Jemma's earlier revelation. "But essentially, the chamber will be suspended in such a way that should you exert your powers in your sleep, your surroundings should remain unaffected."

"And," Jemma went on, "Given that we don't yet know much about your powers, and that they're so new to you, we're taking the precaution of enforcing your sleep patterns."

"Enforcing?" Skye repeated warily.

"I'm sorry, Skye," Jemma went on. "As Fitz hinted, extensive S.H.I.E.L.D. research suggests that in the early days of coping with newfound powers, your abilities can surge out of your control and this is never more the case than just as you drift in and out of consciousness."

"I'm fine right now," Skye replied defensively. "No one's felt any tremors while I've been falling asleep, have they?"

"Skye, this is because Fitzsimmons will be putting you through your paces out there," Coulson said gently. "You're going to be testing the limits of your powers. That's why we need to take these precautions."

Simmons glanced at Coulson to see if she should continue. He nodded.

"Here's how it will work," she went on. "For the most part, we'll need you to be as well-rested as possible, though at some point in the mission we might have to see what part sleep deprivation will play in your control of your powers. Each night you'll enter your chamber at 10pm. Director Coulson insists that because of the dangers we've described, we can't really have you stumbling around in the middle of the night to get a drink of water. So," she hesitated briefly before charging on. "We're actually going to sedate you using a non-addictive, side-effect-free organic compound in gas form that I've been working with in the lab. It's perfectly safe and highly effective," she added reassuringly. "I've even tested it on Fitz and myself."

Fitz looked up, confused. "I don't remember you testing it on me."

"See?" said Jemma, smiling brightly at Skye. "Completely safe and effective. Then at 8am each morning, we'll blow a blast of another organic compound, an antidote of sorts, into your chamber to wake you."

"What about if I'm comatose for a few days, like what happened after… after that first night," Skye asked tentatively, and then disappeared into her thoughts for a moment as Trip's face appeared in all of their minds.

After a beat, Jemma broke the silence. "Unfortunately, the compound to wake you won't have an effect in that case," she explained apologetically. "We'll just have to let you sleep it off."

Skye shrugged, then, making the best of a bad situation, a mischievous grin grew slowly across her face. "And while I'm unconscious for eight hours every night and catatonic for a few days at a time, what are you two going to get up to?" she nudged Fitz in the ribs. "Same bed, hey, Fitzy Boy?"

Fitz gave her a distinctly school-teacherish stare and Coulson coughed emphatically.

"Ok, ok," Skye responded. "I'm paying attention."

Jemma glared at her and then continued on with her explanation. "We'll use a similar process should you pass out. Fitz has been modifying the dwarves so that they can actually lift and transport you back to the camper. Tell them, Fitz," she prompted.

"First of all," began Fitz, "You should know that I've taken full advantage of the naming rights bestowed on me for this mission. Henceforth, the camper shall be known as The Flying Haggis." He looked victoriously around at the room at the others who rolled their eyes. Only Jemma was encouraging.

"I like it, Fitz," she said, smiling. "Not least because I won my bet with Hunter – I said you'd go with Haggis, he said Braveheart." She did a little dance in her seat. "Twenty quid to meeee!" she sang.

Fitz looked a little deflated at being so predictable. "Braveheart was my second choice."

Coulson cleared his throat. "The dwarves, Fitz?"

"Oh, right…"A glint of the old Fitz shone through in the pride he showed in his achievements with the dwarves. "Ok, so we had a number of logistical concerns. Firstly, how can we protect you from the effects of your own powers?"

"For example," Simmons interrupted seamlessly, "What if you created a big enough seismic event that the ground gave way directly beneath you?"

"Exactly," nodded Fitz, and continued counting on his fingers. "Secondly, once you're away from The Haggis, how do we protect you from predators and harsh weather conditions?"

"And thirdly," Simmons continued as if it had been her talking all along. "What if you were to become catatonic or otherwise indisposed while far away from the camper?"

"Let's start calling it The Haggis, shall we? Get ourselves used to it?" Fitz suggested.

"Away from The Haggis," she corrected herself. "Well, the modifications that Fitz has made to the dwarves are nothing short of remarkable."

"Thank you, Simmons," he replied, clearly extremely chuffed. He picked up the case from next to him on the floor and snapped it open. "Now, Skye, if you wouldn't mind getting out of your chair."

"Ok," Skye said warily, doing as he asked.

With the flick of a finger across his tablet, Fitz had the dwarves surround her. "Imagine you're out in the desert in the heat of the day."

Skye nodded, clearly not thrilled at the prospect.

"Voila," Fitz announced, and an almost imperceptible haze suddenly surrounded Skye.

"Hey!" Her voice was ever so slightly muffled inside the force-field the dwarves had created. "There's aircon in here!"

"Well," Jemma politely contradicted. "In actual fact the dwarves are employing a highly advanced and miniaturised evaporative cooling system."

"Whatever!" Skye replied. "This is awesome."

"There's also an extremely high UV protective factor," Fitz added. "Perhaps more suited to the pastier ones among us, but you'll be thankful for it out in the desert."

"And the dwarves will allow uninterrupted video and audio comms and all of the medical monitoring we want to achieve." Jemma beamed over at Fitz. "They really are incredibly advanced."

Fitz fondly held her gaze a moment before continuing. "This force-field around you acts like an advanced combat armour."

Jemma took over excitedly. "No predator can get at you in there without suffering a fatal electric shock, not even a mosquito!"

"And, as for what we were saying about the ground collapsing beneath you or in case you were to pass out?" Fitz swiped at his tablet, triumphantly.

"Ahh!" Skye cried as the dwarves travelled upwards, lifting her a foot or two from the carpet.

A swipe or two more and Fitz had Skye effortlessly circle Coulson's desk and return to where she started, then the dwarves gently lowered her to the floor.

"That was amazing, Fitz!" Skye cried, as the dwarves shuttled themselves neatly back into their case.

Coulson was clearly impressed. "Not even Tony Stark himself could have rigged up something like that at your age, Fitz," he enthused.

"Well," replied Fitz, now flushed with pride and embarrassment. "Stark doesn't work with Simmons, does he? She's the genius with all the ideas. I just tinkered with these little fellas until I could pull off what she'd described."

Jemma blushed quietly.

Coulson looked almost as if he were getting a little choked up. He allowed himself a rare moment of tenderness. "I couldn't trust you to just anyone, Skye," he croaked, seeking her eyes. "But you really will be in good hands with FitzSimmons."

Skye looked gratefully from Fitz to Simmons and then smiled back at Coulson. "The best."

Stay tuned for the next instalment of The Flying Haggis: FitzSimmons' Adventures in the Campervan of Awesome. I have no idea what you can look forward to in this next bit because precisely none of it is written. So this time you really HAVE to leave me some reviewing love and let me know if you want to read more of this story! Otherwise I might have to get back to real life...