WARNING SPOILERS S2E10.

I give you Part 10 (ch18 of By My Side) of The Flying Haggis: Fitzsimmons' Adventures in the Campervan of Awesome in which Simmons finally lets Fitz in on her secret plans for the evenings while they're away on this mission with Skye. This continuous story starts back in ch9 of By My Side after some one-shots.

Dismissed from Coulson's office, Skye made straight for her bunk, Jemma for the lab and Fitz for the garage until he remembered the small matter of sleeping arrangements on The Flying Haggis. He turned on his heel and sprinted after Simmons.

She was heading down the long corridor that ran parallel to the lab when he caught sight of her. "Simmons!" he called, and she turned and waited for him to catch up.

"Hi!" he puffed, taking a moment to catch his breath, his hands resting on his knees.

"Someone needs more fitness training," Simmons commented, laughing.

"Hey!" he replied in mock-offence. "I ran after you as fast as I could! It suddenly occurred to me that I didn't want to face Mack after the bedding conversation it sounds like you two had without getting the full story!"

"Fair enough. You're probably not that unfit." She looked him over appraisingly. "Besides, I suppose you do have a low body fat percentage."

"Err, thanks?" he replied, straightening up.

"And your face is nice and symmetrical."

"My face?" Fitz turned to look at his reflection in the glass that ran the length of the corridor. "I guess," he shrugged, shifting his glance to her reflection. "Though I think your face is nicer." He shook his head sharply. "Anyway, tell me about this bed thing. Did you really tell Mack you, err… you wanted us to… umm… share the same bed?"

Jemma broke into a slightly maniacal laugh as she moved off again in the direction of the lab. "Oh, I was just having fun with him."

Fitz put a lid on his own relief/disappointment and gave her a disapproving look as he followed after her. "That's all well and good, Jemma, but poor Mack actually needs to get started on fitting out The Haggis. He just wants your instructions."

"I gave them to him!" Jemma said, defensively, pushing open the heavy lab door and holding it for him.

Poor Fitz gazed at her in total bafflement as he walked past her into the lab. "I don't understand," he said flatly. "Mack says you were telling him to leave us with the one bed."

"That's right," she replied, laying her armful of equipment down on her workspace.

"Sooo, how is that just having fun with Mack?" Fitz demanded, leaning back against her desk, arms folded across his chest. "That sounds like you were actually being serious."

"Ohh. Well, I don't intend for us to actually sleep there," she laughed, dropping a few files neatly into her filing cabinet.

"You don't?" Fitz rubbed at his temples with both hands. "Where are you imagining we'll sleep then?" he cried. "It's not exactly a huge amount of living space!"

"Fitz," Jemma whispered earnestly. "Can you imagine the view of the stars we'll have from out in the Chilean desert?"

"Don't change the subject, Simmons!" Fitz was getting annoyed now. "I need to get back to the garage with some vaguely comprehensible instructions for Mack!"

Jemma gave him a look. "Fitz, when Skye's asleep in her chamber, the dwarves will be free, right?"

Fitz just nodded, exasperated that he was getting nowhere.

"So that's 10pm til 8am every night that we could have use of the dwarves."

"And why on earth would we have a use for the dwarves!?" Fitz cried. "Coulson would kill us if we just wandered off and left Skye alone and defenceless!"

Jemma pulled out a box from under her workspace. It was marked with the logo of an Australian camping company. Out of the box she pulled two rolls of khaki material. "We won't be leaving Skye alone," she said, unrolling one. "Have you ever seen a swag before?"

Fitz narrowed his eyes. "Isn't swag just another way of saying unmistakeable cool?"

She looked back at him in surprise.

"What?" he asked, defensively. "I read Urban Dictionary now and again. I'm just trying to make sense of my own baffling generation." He looked suddenly sad. "Trip had swag."

Simmons nodded, quiet for a moment. Then she continued to layout the roll of material. "Anyway, not the ephemeral attribute, I mean the physical object. This is a swag." And she unfolded the top layer of material, revealing a comfy looking mattress underneath. She scooted herself under the top layer, and lay down on the mattress, pulling the top layer back over her like a sheet. "Water-proof canvas," she said. "Perfect amount of room in here for a good sleeping bag."

Fitz sighed. "Jemma, I still don't understand. Are we just leaving the bed where it is coz your plan is for us to sleep on the floor?"

Jemma shook her head. "Not on the floor, Fitz." She paused meaningfully, placing her hands over the top layer of the swag and casting her eyes up towards the ceiling. "On the roof!"

Suddenly it all made sense. Fitz crouched down next to Jemma, grinning. "That is brilliant!"

"I know!" She repositioned herself in the swag to look eagerly into his face. "Can you imagine it? We get Skye into her chamber each night, knock her out with the organic compound, and then climb up onto the roof with the dwarves…"

"'Cause the solar panels will be out of action in the dark…" Fitz continued.

"Exactly," Jemma replied. "And then we unroll our swags, climb into our sleeping bags and sleep under the stars! In such a remote place we'll have one of the most amazing unrestricted views of the night sky imaginable!"

"And Bashful, Doc and the fellas will protect us from the weather, the temperature, predators and even mosquitoes!" Fitz was grinning like an idiot. "I'll install some magnification capabilities," he suddenly muttered, getting excited. "The dwarves can even guide us through the constellations using GPS. We might discover a new star!"

Jemma grinned back. "So, it's a good plan?"

"It's the best!" he enthused. Then his face fell. "But will it be ok with Coulson?"

Jemma looked a bit sheepish. "I wasn't exactly going to tell him."

Fitz gave her a smirk. "And that's why you've left Mack in such a flap."

She nodded. "Can you convince him that we agreed sharing the one bed was the best solution?"

Fitz sat on the floor next to Jemma, resting his chin on his fist. He remembered back to he and Mack's original bedding conversation. "It might be a bit of a challenge."

"You could tell him that we slept perfectly comfortably together in my single bunk last night."

Fitz's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. "Are you serious!?" he cried. "Isn't it bad enough that Skye caught us without me telling Mack too? We'd never hear the end of it!"

"I suppose," Jemma agreed.

"And it doesn't seem all that professional does it," Fitz added. "Planning to share a bed together while out on a remote field mission."

"No," she sighed. "I suppose it doesn't."

Fitz thought a moment. "The dwarves!" he grinned. "We won't tell them what we're really using them for, we can just say we'll use them to create a solid divider between us so it's as if the one bed becomes two single beds."

"It does save work for Mack and space in the camper," Jemma agreed. "Anyway, if we really had some sort of repressed desire issues that prevented us from being able to get any rest if we did share that double bed…"

Fitz suddenly became very interested in a spot on the floor.

"…it's not as if we could get much in the way of decent distance between us inside The Haggis anyway!"

She was totally right. Fitz thought he could probably sell it to Mack without arousing too much suspicion.

Jemma beamed at him. "How great is this mission going to be!"