Killing Time

The next two days were torture for Buffy. She couldn't stand not knowing what the process was like, and how he was dealing with it. Part of her wondered if he was in pain, but another part of her didn't want to know. The temptation to just open the door a little for a peek was overwhelming. Whistler thought that maybe she and Dawn shouldn't stay there, in case she went back on her promise. There was no way he could pull back or hold down a fully conscious Buffy. If she wanted to get in there, she would; but for now Buffy was ignoring her instincts to run to him. She couldn't risk everything when it was so close.

Pacing the room she thought about what would have happened if he'd have come to her right away – as soon as the Senior Partners brought him back – eventually deciding that she would have tried to convince him that she did mean what she said; that she did love him. And that they'd be together. But then he would have missed out on this opportunity to start life again; real human life.

Eventually pulling herself out of her spiral of unhelpfully intense thoughts she asked Whistler, "Is there anything I can do for him?"

"He'll probably be needing some food when he's done."

"Right," she said. "I'll find the nearest butchers and stock up, and-"

"Buffy," Dawn interrupted, "I'm not sure he'll still have the same desire for blood at the end of this."

"Oh," Buffy said, slumping down on the couch "Right. This is all gonna take some getting used to."

"Yeah, I get that," agreed Dawn. "But, staying on the whole food topic for a bit… I get you not wanting to nourish yourself, what with epic stress removing all appetite and everything, but I kinda haven't eaten in a day and a half."

"Oh, Dawn, I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking. Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"You've got a lot going on. I didn't want to bother you."

"Don't be ridiculous. And don't let me neglect you. I really am sorry I've been so wrapped up."

"It's cool. If the love of my life was coming back to life I'd be distracted too."

Buffy looked at her sister in awe. "When did you become so mature?"

"When you weren't looking," said Dawn before sticking out her tongue and playfully poking her sister in the ribs, making her laugh for the first time in days.

"Thank you for being cool about all this. How about we order take out and then go shopping?"

"Sounds like an excellent idea."

Dawn was so full of food, and so overcome by postponed jet lag, that she fell asleep almost as soon as she finished the very last garlic dough ball.

"You sure you're okay to watch her?" Buffy asked Whistler. "I shouldn't be gone more than an hour, and you've got my number if you need it."

"I'm not usually one for babysitting but it's walk in the park when the babies are asleep."

"I'm choosing to translate that as 'All will be well'."

Whistler nodded and Buffy turned to leave, but she hesitated before reaching the door.

"I've been wondering about something…"

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Why did the Senior Partners fear Angel becoming human? It doesn't make any sense. Surely he'd be less of a threat to them in that state than he is now."

"I've been thinking about that too," Whistler admitted, "But whatever it's all about, they clearly weren't concerned about human Spike posing the same threat."

"So you don't think they'll come after Spike after he's changed?"

"I don't think so, but it's hard to say for sure."

"Thanks."

At the store Buffy found herself looking at lingerie, scented candles, and fancy bubble bath. 'Maybe I could get Whistler to take Dawn out of the apartment when the time comes,' she thought. 'Get him to show her around while I make the place look special for Spike.'

She bought all the ingredients to prepare a roast dinner, and bread to make sandwiches in case his stomach was sensitive. Earlier she'd noticed his distinct lack of even the most basic kitchen utensils so she got him everything he might need. All in all she spent three hours putting stuff in her cart, and even then she only finished up because the place was closing.

On the way back the cab passed a drug store and she got the driver to stop off. Once inside she felt monumentally embarrassed but couldn't really understand why. When the truth of the situation finally hit her she went from bright red to pale rather quickly.

"You alright, m'am?" Asked the man behind the cash register, "Anything I can help you with?"

Handing him the birth control she nodded, "Just these please."

She'd bought contraception before, but this was different. She never thought she'd see the day when she'd be needing some for him. It had never once been possible for that to even be an issue. She found it overwhelming how even the most basic foundations of their relationship had been altered, and she was just assuming – hoping with every fiber of her being – that they could be together despite all the changes.

To be continued…